Sara: Welcome to Childhood Trauma! If you knew that was a Buffy reference the moment you saw it, join the club! Grab a chair, prop your feet up, and get comfortable because the 90’s goodness doesn’t end there, my friend.
Lorraine: If you didn’t know that was from Buffy, okay fine, join the club anyways. We don’t discriminate. We strongly believe that love, justice, unicorns, chocolate and the terrible books of our childhood should be for one and all. I haven’t consulted with the other girls, but I’m almost pretty sure they would back me up on love, justice and unicorns.
Anyways, back on topic-
Sara: Meet the Snark Squad – Sara, Lorraine, Lily, Sweeney, and Nugs. To learn a little bit about each of us, check out our “Meet the Snark Squad” page. There aren’t any nudey pictures up there just yet, but yanevaknow, y’know?
We’ll be reading and reviewing popular book series from our childhood, such as Sweet Valley High, The Babysitters Club, Boxcar Children, Goosebumps, and more. We are willing to suffer through the bad writing, the awful parenting, the horrible outfit descriptions, and the buckets upon buckets of Wakefield and babysitter tears just so you don’t have to.
We know. We’re kind of awesome.
Each post will contain a synopsis with a side of snark (a rather large side, I might add), so you can relive your childhood and wonder why in the fuck you would ever have thought the people in these books were cool. (Seriously, y’all. I wanted to BE Elizabeth Wakefield. If I had been allowed to legally change my name at the ripe old age of 9, it would have happened. Don’tjudgeme.)
Lorraine: (I’m totally judging her.)
I never read a SVH book when I was younger, but I was pretty heavy into Babysitter’s Club. The amazing thing about these upcoming reviews is that you don’t have to know anything about these series. We’ll do all the dirty work for you, whether you’ve read the books before or not. Fan or not. Penis or vagina. One and all can enjoy what Childhood Trauma has to offer.
Sara: As the reviews are completed, new links will be added to the pages for each individual series. Check out the pages to see the complete lists and our adorable buttons (made by Lorraine) for each series.
Lorraine: Sara and I will be manning the Sweet Valley High series. Nicole and Nugs will be on Babysitter duty and Lily will be handling the Boxcar Children. I can’t stress enough how much this is only the beginning. There are so many books, so much snark and so very little time. (LOL. JAYKAY. There’s lots of time because I refuse to ever actually work at work.)
None of these rules are hard and fast. We’ll be trying new things all the time, taking suggestions from you, the readers we’re considering giving sexual favors to win over crosssing our fingers for, and we’re really excited to do this.
Now, the questions is, are you ready?
I'm a 30-something with three kids who spends an embarrassing amount of time watching teen television dramas. There's a whole lot of Internet out there, and I plan on reading all of it before I die.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
