Previously: Grey and Ana go on a date to discuss Sexy Time Contract particulars, though it’s clear Grey doesn’t really care what Ana’s concerns are. Ana ignores the millionty-five red flags during the date, though she does realize that Grey uses sex as a weapon. That kind of turns her on. So much so that she eats asparagus sexily.
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Lorraine: The first few pages of this chapter gave me a really weird, uncomfortable, sex-ed class vibe. See, Ana’s having this dream about being tied up to a bed. Grey is above her wielding a leather riding crop, trailing it along her body until he gets to her vagAna. A few flicks of it and Ana’s orgasm is waking her up from her dream.
The weird part is that Ana is astounded. She’s never had a wet dream before, and by goly, she didn’t even know dreaming about sex was possible! I swear to you she thinks, “I didn’t know I could dream sex.”
For some one so connected to her subconscious and medulla oblongata, you’d think she’d know a little more about dreaming.
Let me tell you, reading about Ana discovering wet dreams is really the pinnacle of entertainment. Much like that 2000 hit single “Liquid Dreams” by O-Town.
Anyhow, Ana goes to the kitchen still wearing her pajamas and Grey’s suit jacket. Kate greets her friend and then asks Ana what’s up because she looks “odd.” Ana blushes, remembering her dream and wondering if Kate knows she was having dream-gasms. Uh, no Ana. Kate doesn’t have some sort of orgasm detector. The world doesn’t revolved around your coming. YOU ARE WEARING PAJAMAS AND GREY’S SUIT JACKET. “Odd” is a nice way to put how you probably look right now.
Kate starts asking Ana about her date, and of course, Ana gets annoyed. She manages to sidetrack Kate with an offer to listen to her Valedictorian speech. Kate runs off to fetch it.
In the meanwhile, Ana thinks about how what Grey is offering her is more like a job than a relationship. Ana wants more from him but she doesn’t want to lose Grey completely. Deep down she knows she can’t be a submissive but then she remembers her XXX dream and how it featured being tied and, uh, cropped. Ana’s Inner Goddess busts out pom-poms and a cheerleading outfit to encourage Ana.
So, please answer me, does Ana want to do this or not? What’s the point in telling us that she could never be a submissive and then having her “inner goddess,” which I understand is PART OF HER, want to do it? Kate comes back with her speech and Ana could not care less even though she offered to listen to it in the first place. Lovely.
We cut, suddenly and awkwardly, to step-daddy Ray arriving at Ana’s place before graduation. Ana feels a swell of emotion for this “uncomplicated” man, and I guess spending any amount of time with Christian Grey would make you more appreciative of humans. All of them. Any of them. Any other fucking person. EXCEPT Katherine Kavanaugh with her “questions” and “caring.”
We cut, suddenly and awkwardly, to Ray and Ana arriving at graduation. Ray picks up on how fidgety Ana is, and thinks it has to do with graduation. But alas, no. She’s not concerned about graduating, or pleased with her accomplishment or excited about walking the stage or nervous for her best friend’s big moment or anxious about the future. She’s freaking out BECAUSE SHE’S GOING TO SEE GREY OMG OMG!!!!!11
Both Ray and Ana find their seats and the ceremony starts. Grey appears on stage and he’s wearing the super!tie, which is apparently no worse for the wear after being used repeatedly as a rope. Mmmhmm. Okay.
The girls around Ana start whispering about how hawt Grey is and Ana murmurs at them that he isn’t single. In fact, she mutters, he’s gay. Apparently Ana isn’t graduating college, she’s graduating kindergarten. I wonder why she didn’t go with “he eats his boogies!”
Grey scans the crowd and Ana hunches down in her chair, because that’s gonna look super attractive when he spots her. Which he does. He spots her with GRAY! eyes, because I know you guys wondering what color Grey’s eyes are.
Ana blushes as she thinks about her newly discovered skill, sex-dreaming. Grey smiles a little at her and looks away. He never looks back at Ana and this worries her. Maybe he doesn’t like her! Maybe he doesn’t want her! MAYBE HE’S PAYING ATTENTION TO THE GRADUATION CEREMONY YOU NINNY.
Kate gives her speech and even though Ana claims to put aside all thoughts of Grey, she spends the entire speech thinking about how it could’ve been Katherine who interviewed him back in chapter 1. “Beautiful Katherine and beautiful Christian,” she self deprecates. She’s seriously getting depressed over the mere idea that Kate could’ve met Grey first. All of this AT HER COLLEGE GRADUATION. Girlfriend has her priorities totally straight.
Kate finishes and she gets a standing ovation. Ana, her best friend, paid zero attention.
Grey’s up next and for some reason, he’s taking this time at commencement to discuss the farming work he’s doing with the University. Basically, he’s working on ways to solve that whole “world hunger” problem, because he knows what it’s like to be profoundly hungry. Ana is super surprised by this development and she finally understands why he’s so adamant about food consumption.
I’m seized by a sense of raw outrage. Poor, fucked-up, kinky, philanthropic Christian.
The sentence that starts with “poor” and ends with “Christian” makes me want to sucker punch bunny rabbits. Not only because it’s the stupidest thing ever written.
Look. I’m not against damaged characters. So far what we know of Grey’s past is that he’s gone hungry, was adopted at age four and at age 15, his adoptive mother’s friend took advantage of him. That’s pretty hard knock. I can acknowledge that. I just HATE what the author is setting up here: excuses, excuses, excuses.
We’ve seen Grey order Ana around about food when they were no more than acquaintances, but it’s okay everyone. It’s ’cause he was hungry once upon a time. Daddy hits you because he cares, sort of deal. It’s disgusting and abusive. This has nothing to do with the control inherent in BDSM.
Grey finishes his speech and it’s time to hand out degrees. If you think this makes Ana happy at all, you’d be wrong. Ana’s name is finally called, she shakes a few hands and then gets to Grey. He decides that right then is a good time to ask her if she’s been ignoring his emails. Ana says she only saw the one from last night and Grey dismisses her with a “later.” I guess those other people trying to fucking GRADUATE are really cutting into their personal conversation time up on stage.
The ceremony concludes and almost immediately Kate finds Ana to tell her that Grey wants to talk to her. Ana doesn’t want to leave Ray for long, but follows Kate backstage. Grey sees her, murmurs his apologies to the men he’s talking to, thanks Kate for her services, grabs Ana by the elbow and leads her into a men’s locker room.
He makes sure it is empty and locks the door. Man, did I run out of red flags in the last post?
Christian asks again why Ana didn’t answer his emails or texts. GOD, DOES NO ONE REALIZE THAT A GRADUATION JUST HAPPENED? NO ONE AT ALL? Yeah, real sorry I didn’t get back to your email, Grey, what with my father being in town and preparing for a life milestone.
Ana says she hadn’t check her laptop or phone. She tries to distract him by changing the topic to his speech and how much it explained about his issues with food. Grey isn’t biting and says that he was worried about her. Ana isn’t understanding until Grey explains that she drove home in her deathtrap of a car and then he never heard from her again.
Ana swears her car is safe, seeing as how Josecob services it for her regularly. Grey’s reaction to that statement makes me believe Ana said “services” with an eyebrow wiggle and elbow nudge. Basically, it doesn’t make him happy. Ana apologizes to Grey. Guys she APOLOGIZES for… driving her own car? For getting oil changes? Because, beyond her control, he was worried?
Grey admits that he just needs an answer from Ana. The waiting around is making him nuts and I’m all, yeaaaaah. This being crazy thing is totally a recent development. Right. Ana tries to beg off and Grey says he needs an answer by tomorrow.
As they are about to leave, Grey says that he wants to meet Ana’s dad. Ana can’t imagine why he would want to. Grey thinks she’s ashamed of him but Ana says she just doesn’t know how to introduce him.
“This is the man who deflowered me and want us to start a BDSM relationship.”
Ana fails at life. Grey points this out when he says, “just tell him I’m your friend.” UHDUH.
They leave the men’s locker room and Ana goes to find Ray. They hug and Ana asks if he wants to grab a drink. Ray takes a picture of her and Ana says she’d like to take her cap and gown off because she feels kind of dorky.
You look kinda dorky… my subconscious is at her snarky best. So are you going to introduce Ray to the man you’re fucking? She is glaring at me over her wing-shaped spectacles. He’d be so proud. God, I hate her sometimes.
List time!
1.) You are a grown ass adult, graduating from college. The fact that Ana has such a huge problem with being sexually active means she probably shouldn’t be sexually active. I get that it’s weird, he’s your dad, Grey is kinky. But damn, I thought we covered this? SAY HE IS YOUR FRIEND. Get the fuck over it.
2.) The fact that “snarky” was used breaks my heart a little.
3.) So, you hate yourself is what you’re saying, right? You. Hate. Yourself.
Ethan, Kate’s brother, spots Ana and scoops up her in his arms. He twirls her around and says he’s proud of her. They chit chat and Ethan has his arm around Ana when Grey walks up with Kate.
Kate greets Ray and then:
Have you met Ana’s boyfriend? Christian Grey.
Holy shit… Kate! Fuck! All the blood drains from my face.
I realize this is incredibly immature of Kate but: LOL. Plus this declaration has made Ana’s subconscious faint, so I’m a fan of it.
Grey takes it like a champ. Ana is pissed. Ray just murmurs his hello.
Kate introduces Grey to Ethan, who still has his arm around Ana.
They shake hands. Christian holds his hands out to me.
“Ana, baby,” he murmurs, and I nearly expire at the endearment.
I walk out of Ethan’s grasp, while Christian smiles icily at him, and I take my place at his side.
Hmmm. ‘Twas not really an endearment. ‘Twas more of that manipulation. This entire exchange made me a little gaggy.
Kate and Ethan excuse themselves leaving Ray, Grey, and Ana. Ray’s a little irritated at first, but Grey mentions fishing and soon all is fine.
Ana leaves the two men to talk while she goes and yells at Kate. She admits to using the term boyfriend on purpose to see if it would help Grey with his commitment issues. Aw, come on Kate. You are like the one character I don’t actively hate. Stop being so dumb. Anyway, Kate’s convinced that her scheme worked because Grey can’t keep his eyes off her. Ana says this conversation isn’t over but goes to rescue the two men from each other.
As soon as Ana returns, Ray excuses himself to the bathroom.
Grey whispers that he wishes he knew what Ana was thinking. Ana says she’s thinking, “nice tie.” Grey says it’s his new favorite, causing Ana to “flush scarlet.” Have I already yelled about how James insists on telling us that Ana blushes/flushes red? It’s like the pants hanging from hips thing. BLUSHING CONSISTS OF SOME SHADE OF RED. IT IS IMPLIED.
Grey whispers, “you know it’s going to be good, don’t you baby,” at Ana. Ana melts but she does whisper back that she wants more. She wants “hearts and flowers.” Grey says that isn’t something he knows. Ana says she doesn’t either. Grey murmurs that she basically doesn’t know anything and Ana counters with “you know all the wrong things.”
I’d say this was alarmingly self-aware, except that Grey says that these things aren’t wrong to him.
“Try it,” he whispers. A challenge, daring me, and he cocks his head to one side and smiles his crooked, dazzling smile.
I gasp, and I’m Eve in the Garden of Eden, and he’s the serpent, and I cannot resist.
“Okay,” I whisper.
“What?” I have his full, undivided attention. I swallow.
“Okay. I’ll try.”
DAMN IT.
1.) Thank you E.L. James for taking us through FOURTEEN chapters of will she, and the deciding factor? A CROOKED SMILE.
2.) Really? The Garden of Eden? Because that ended well for Eve? Clearly, what you are missing in your life Ana, besides common sense, is a Sassy Gay Friend.
Grey is ecstatic.
Ray returns and invites Grey to eat lunch with them. Grey thanks him, but says he has plans. Ray makes him promise to look after Ana. This entire time, Ana is freaking the hell out about just becoming a sub. She’s lost her equilibrium and everything! Her subconscious is screaming at her and her inner goddess is “doing back flips in a routine worthy of a Russian Olympic gymnast.” Her head is a scary place, you guys.
Later that day, Ray drops Ana off at home. After an emotional goodbye, Ana runs inside to check her cell phone and email. There’s a new email from Grey saying she looked beautiful at graduation and that they can discuss soft limits ASAP. Ana replies that she can go to him now, but he doesn’t want her driving around in her old car. He’s going to drive to her.
Ana says there is one thing she needs to prepare: she wants to give back the first edition Tess books. She wraps them back up and writes this direct quote on the paper:
I agree to the conditions, Angel; because you know best what my punishment ought to be; only- only- don’t make it more than I can bear!”
Sigh.
Scary. Place.
Murmur Count – 5
Whisper Count – 5
Next time: Grey encourages Ana to get drunk so they can talk about stuff she really doesn’t want to do in Chapter 15 and 15 extras.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
