Buffy the Vampire Slayer S03 E02 – Some Consequences

Previously: Buffy ran away from home, but she couldn’t run away from her inner demons.
…or something.

—

Dead Man’s Party

Lorraine: Buffy is back in Sunnydale and seemingly unpacking the last of her bags. She regards her room as Melancholy Flutes play in the background. I feel you, B. Unpacking SUCKS. I’ve been known to continue living out of my suitcase way after the trip is over.

Sweeney: I maybe an odd case, but I have been at least partially living out of my suitcase for the better part of this entire year, because packing is almost as annoying as unpacking, so my philosophy has been, “Fuck it.”

K: I got home from Canberra a week ago, and have yet to finish unpacking my suitcase. I’m kind of tempted to just leave it there until I have to pack for my trip to the US in two and a half weeks. So yeah. Unpacking sucks. 

Lor: Buffy grabs her sweater and is off to see her mom, who is hammering a nail into the wall. Buffy calls out and Joyce is startled. She hammers a hole into the very cheap wall. Buffy apologizes, but Joyce says it’s fine. “I guess I just got used to all the quiet while you were gone.” It may be my Joyce Hate speaking (which I know! You all had valid points but it’s still there), but that’s kind of an insensitive thing to say. Did you also save on electricity, Joyce? Enjoy the extra time not doing Buffy’s laundry?

Sweeney: THIS. This is why she has no right to “blame Giles” for what is probably her subconscious guilt for being a consistently terrible mother.

K: +1. 

Lor: Joyce says the fugly mask she’s hanging is contrivance Nigerian, because they got a very contrivant exciting shipment at the gallery. She decided to five finger discount some pieces for her room, apparently, to cheer it up. Meanwhile, in real people land, the mask looks like this:

Buffy says, “it’s angry at the room. It wants the room to suffer.”

Joyce notices that Buffy’s got a sweater in hand and asks if she’s going out. These two do an awkward dance, each trying to delicately handle the other. Joyce finally says she just wants the entire ordeal behind them, and tells Buffy to go ahead and have fun.

Sweeney: In the interest of trying to loathe her a little less so that we can properly appreciate things to come, I will say that her efforts were fair/legit/whatever here. Sorry, that’s the best I can do for you, Joyce.

Lor: Cut to Buffy walking, when suddenly she hears a noise. She’s off to investigate and sees a man walking in front of her. I notice right away, mostly from the ears, that it is Xander. (K: LOL FOREVER) Buffy keeps tailing him, but steps on a can and Xander spins around, stake in hand. She unarms him quickly and Xander looks like he’s just seen a ghost. He chastises her for sneaking up on him, but this awkward reunion is interrupted when a vampire comes crashing through… a crate? Apparently, he was chilling in a crate.

K: I think it’s actually a boarded up doorway? It does bear a striking resemblance to a crate though.

Lor: The vampire pushes them around. We see Xander has a walkie-talkie, and Cordy’s voice is heard asking if “Night Hawk” is okay. Buffy is taken aback and the vampire attacks again, pinning her to a nearby fence. The Calvary comes in the form of Willow, Oz and Cordelia. They do their best to help, but it is ultimately Buffy who stakes him. The Scoobs are all on the floor in varying states of beat and out of breath. Buffy offers an awkward, “hey guys.”

After the credits, they are all standing outside of Giles’ apartment. After some hesitation, Buffy knocks. Giles answers and, oh Giles. I just want to hug you and offer you the edge of my shirt should you need to clean your glasses. It’s all silence before Xander offers, “Check it out — the Watcher’s back on the clock. And just when you were thinking career change, maybe becoming a looker, or a seer.” Giles shushes Xander and welcomes Buffy home.

Inside the apartment, Buffy is avoiding questions. A kettle whistles because of course Giles is making tea! Bets on whether or not Ripper has a tea cozy?

Sweeney: Absolutely. But I bet it doubles as…some sort of demon smothering device? It took me a second to even think of something there due to still not exactly understanding its purpose.

K: I’m gonna go with no, because Ripper lives life on the edge. Also because he would never let tea sit in the pot long enough to REQUIRE a tea cozy. Also, the look of relief and happiness on Giles’ face when he pauses in the kitchen makes me want to hug him.

Lor: Giles brings tea and cookies as Xander continues to ask B questions. Giles says they maybe need to give her a little time before she’s ready to answer. Xander offers to keep up the Slaying in her stead as well, as they have a bit of a rhythm going. Willow proudly says that they’ve dusted 9/10 vampires. Oz leans over and whispers. She quickly amends, “six out of ten.”

Buffy wants to get back into her normal routine, though,  including slaying and hanging out. She tries to make plans with the gang, but Xander says he’s busy. Willow hems a little but agrees to hang out with her.

That leaves school.

Cut to Principal Snyder’s office. He’s saying that Buffy absolutely cannot come back. Joyce says he has no right to keep her out, and Snyder says he not only has the right, keeping her out makes him feel tingly (K: EW.). Joyce argues that she was cleared of the murder charges.

Snyder: And while she may live up to the not-a-murderer requirement for enrollment, she is a troublemaker, destructive to school property and the occasional student. And her grade point average is enough to . . .  I’m sorry. Another tingle moment.

Uh, #awkwardSnyderboner.

Snyder keeps getting his happies by being mean to Buffy, saying that Hot Dog on a Stick is hiring. That’s B’s limit and she stands to leave. Joyce threatens that this discussion isn’t over, even if she has to go all the way to the mayor. Snyder says that would be interesting indeed. I know this is significant because Sweeney kept screaming, “season 3 consistency, yay!” anytime the mayor was mentioned in season 2.

Sweeney: Ooh, and now I get to do it again! SEASON 3 CONSISTENCY, YAY!

K: SO. MUCH. YAY!!!

Lor: In the car, Joyce tells Buffy that they’ll work something out, even if it’s private school. Buffy balks at the uniforms, probably because of all the actual fabric that comes with them.

K: As the resident Snark Squad private school attendee, I can vouch for the fact that our uniforms had FAR more fabric than Buffy’s standard outfits. I do, however, feel the need to issue a “WTF???” to her “Do you want me to get field hockey knees?” because I played field hockey and I genuinely can’t think of a single thing that would happen to your knees, unless you develop a love of skidding down the pitch, which would probably just get you sent off. </tangent>

Lor: She gets off at a cafe in town to meet Willow, but some time and sad piano playing later, it is clear that our girl has been stood up. NOT COOL, WILLOW.

Sweeney: Word. Willow is the only one who I feel redeems herself at all by the end of this, but she’s still all sorts of shitty now.

Lor: Buffy is walking up to her house where some lady wearing a peach colored moo moo is leaving. She introduces herself as Pat, Joyce’s contrivance book club friend. She gives Buffy some opinions no one asked for and is on her way. Just another way to make B feel like shit.

Inside, Joyce tells Buffy that Willow called. She “got held up,” which at this point might as well be, “she had to wash her hair forever,” or “she had to shave her hands” or “she had to wash the murder out of her hair.”

Joyce is delivering all of this news in a way that suggests she knows her friends are being shady. She’s also invited “Mr. Giles” and the gang over for dinner the next night. Buffy fake smiles at the news. Joyce sends her down for “the company plates.” We watch as Buffy goes down to fetch said plates, and she finds an adorable picture of her, Willow and Xander. Why would that be in the basement, you guys?

K: I’m gonna go ahead and assume that Joyce had started packing up Buffy’s stuff to turn her room into a gym or something. 

Lor: A+

Then she finds a dead cat and that is way less adorable.

Joyce and Buffy bury Smelly Cat as she quips that, “next time I get to pick the mother-daughter bonding activity.” Joyce wants to say a few words. B goes with, “thanks for stopping by and dying” but Joyce chooses, “good-bye, stray cat, who lost its way. We hope you find it.” That’s my head you are bashing with that line.

That night, Buffy can’t sleep. Meanwhile, in Joyce’s room, the Fugly Mask glows. I nearly forgot about that thing and the fact that Buffy has stuff to deal with other than friends and school. Outside, Smelly Cat digs itself out of its grave, all back from the dead.

Buffy is walking through the halls of Sunnydale High and  this is clearly a dream. Dream!Buffy walks outside, where Dream!Angel is hanging out. (S: in the sunlight, too. That’s dream!Angel’s favorite place, apparently. It weirds me out because sunlight and brood kind of clash.) They have a cryptic conversation about Buffy being afraid to meet the people waiting for her. Thanks pointless dream sequence!

S: I’m pretty sure the point of these dream sequences is actually to give David Boreanaz the requisite number of episodes to justify his presence in the opening credits in spite of being, you know, dead. Or, like, extra dead.

K: Meanwhile, I’m confused because Buffy is obviously wearing a (very unflattering) bra at the front, but her backless sweater would indicate otherwise. WHUT.

Lor: The dream bell rings, and it’s her real alarm clock. If I were expelled from school indefinitely, I would NOT be waking up at 7am.

S: +1

Lor: Downstairs, Joyce gives Buffy some information on an all girls private school. Buffy gets snippy and Joyce replies with a, “Buffy, you made some bad choices. You just might have to live with some consequences.”

I agree that Buffy needs to calm down because private school may suck, but it would be better than no school. This isn’t Joyce’s fault. It also isn’t really Buffy’s fault. The school and people destruction that Snyder referenced are all a consequence of Slaying, not of bad choices.

Joyce thinks it’d be a good idea to let a few more people in on the Slayer Secret, as the police would be happy to have “a superhero” on their side. AW. She opens the door to take out the trash and Smelly Cat comes running in.

Giles arrives later with a cage in hand. “Welcome to the Hellmouth Petting Zoo,” Buffy says as he enters. Smelly Cat is caught and Giles confirms that he is in fact smelly. He notices the Fugly Mask on Joyce’s wall and they start to have artsy fartsy talk, but Buffy interrupts because they have research to do. Unfortunately, she can’t actually join him because whether they remember this or not, the Wiggins Library is part of the school and she isn’t allowed on school property. He’ll phone with any results.

Sweeney: Remember last episode? How weird it was to see actual students in that library? Or the two times when students came in for books (poetry boy and Jonathan) and it was majorly confusing? While Giles is right, I also don’t think anybody would really notice if Buffy went to that library.

Lor: In the Wiggins Library, the Scoobies consider Smelly Cat. Cordelia asks Giles if he likes anything normal and he gets a little defensive. He’s doing research, not taking the cat home for “saucers of warm milk.”

Willow changes the topic to the dinner at Buffy’s and wonders what they should all bring. “I’m the dip,” Cordelia says before clarifying: onion dip. She brings onion dip to parties. Oz wants to know what kind of gathering it is, and while his little speech is cute, this is stupid because they clearly know Joyce invited a few of them over for DINNER. It isn’t very confusing. Anyways:

Oz: We should figure out what kinda deal this is. I mean, is it a-a gathering, a shindig or a hootenanny?
Cordelia: What’s the difference?
Oz: Well, a gathering is brie, mellow song stylings; shindig? Dip, less mellow song stylings, perhaps a large amount of malt beverage; and hootenanny, well, it’s chock full of hoot, just a little bit of nanny.

Xander proclaims he hates brie and Cordy says it’s “smells like Giles’ cat.” “It’s not my-” Giles starts to reply, but is interrupted by Xander who wonders what they’ll talk about. Buffy doesn’t want to talk about her time away, they don’t want to talk about her “ruining [their] lives for the past three months.”

The Scoobs decide that less talking, more dancing is the best way to approach it and quickly convert the dinner into a “Welcome Back (from having run away after you slayed your boyfriend with both your vagina and a sword and we seriously don’t want to talk to you) Buffy” party.

Brilliant idea, guys. Best friends ever.

Sweeney: THEY ALL SUCK SO MUCH IN THIS EPISODE.

K: Seriously. There are no words for how much I want to punch everyone besides Giles and Buffy in this episode. And I even waiver on them a couple of times. 

Lor: Also, in this scene I more clearly noticed how TAN Cordelia is and how weirdly red Willow’s hair is.

That night at the Summers house, Buffy is setting the table when the door bell rings. It’s Pat in another awful colored, oversized thing now with un-matching vest. Buffy is clearly not thrilled to see her. The bell rings again, and this time it’s the band asking where they should set up. Buffy’s face is all SAY WUH?

Cut to band playing and kids bopping. Buffy approaches Willow and tries to talk to her but she’s all “can’t hear her over the music.” MMMHHMM. RIGHT. Buffy walks away, but thinks better of it, comes back and leads Willow away. She asks if everything is okay with them, and Willow assures her that things are fine, hence the party. Buffy is unconvinced and this might be the first time I’ve disliked Willow.

Sweeney: I get that she’s hurt, but she’s being majorly shitty here. I actually do appreciate seeing Willow be a little flawed, and passive aggressive behavior seems to be a recurring one for her, but this is super frustrating.

Lor: Back in Joyce’s room, the Fugly Mask glows like a really fucked up night light. Apparently the cat was a practice run? And now it’s going to raise other things? Like a dead guy with a gross head wound.

Buffy is trying to sneak past a making-out Xander and Cordy. Xander spots Buffy and then heavily lays on the “we’re so happy you’re back!” fake smarm, all while Cordy doesn’t even look at B. She just keeps kissing his neck.

K: Buffy’s look of “EW GROSS GET A ROOM BEFORE I HURL” during this scene is pretty much on a par with mine.

Lor: Buffy then overhears a piece of a conversation Joyce is having with Pat. Joyce says, “Having Buffy home, I thought it was going to make it all better, but in some ways, it’s almost worse.” Hearing it in full context doesn’t make it much better at all. Buffy, distraught, heads up stairs to pack her bags again.

Outside, all the reanimated dead are walking toward the Summers house.

Giles has put together that the Fugly Mask is no good and after a failed call to the party house, is off to go share his findings with Buffy.

Willow finds Buffy upstairs packing and crying. She sarcastically tells Buffy to have fun and not write her. More tears falling, Buffy wants to know why she’s being attacked when she’s trying. Willow thinks it looks a lot more like giving up. Buffy says it seems that they were doing fine without her, but Willow responds that they were just coping. Buffy had to leave and Willow counters with her wish that she would open up to her. Buffy says that Willow has been avoiding her, and she admits it’s been hard. She lost her best friend. A lot has changed for Willow, with her dating a werewolf and studying witch craft, and she didn’t have her best friend there to help her deal with it.

I don’t even know how to feel right now because neither of them are wrong, even though I tend to side a little more with Buffy.

Sweeney: That’s the thing; I feel for Willow and she’s totally right to be hurt. However, she dealt with it terribly and I also can’t fault Buffy for freaking out and running away again. Nor do I fault her for the initial running away.

K: Cosign. I really feel for Willow, but DUDE. Don’t be the uber-suck to your so-called best friend, because if your friends and her mother are ALSO the uber-suck to her? She’s totally justified to feel like running away is a good solution.

Lor: Giles is driving and mocking Joyce as he goes. As awesome as that is, he’s so busy mocking that he hit someone with his car. Thankfully that person was already dead. Unfortunately that dead person attacks him.

Sweeney: I don’t like this freak of the week and this whole episode is meh, but cranky Giles is hilarious:

He’s probably also mumbling about our failure to know what a tea cozy is.

K: Also that whole spelling words without the U and with Zs instead of Ss thing. 

Lor: Not that K has given any thought on it recently…

We join B and Willow again. Buffy says she missed her and meant to call, but Willow finds this a cheap excuse. Joyce walks in and immediately notices the half packed bags and gets angry. Buffy runs out of the room.

Downstairs, Joyce decides it’s mother/daughter talk time, right in the middle of the entire party because that is certainly going to endear you to your 17 year old daughter. The band is all, “oh are you going to fight now?” and stops playing, which is super polite.

Joyce says that Buffy can’t imagine what she’s been through with all that worrying. Buffy rightly reminds her mother that she said that if she left, she couldn’t come back. So she didn’t. “You found out who I really was, and you couldn’t deal.” This line brings me back to an observation one of our commenters made about parallels between this and conversations that may happen when someone is “coming out of the closet.” I didn’t really catch it in episode one, but here, you can see how that might be so.

People start to leave the party.

Joyce: Buffy, you didn’t give me time. You just dumped this thing on me and you expected me to get it. Well, guess what? Mom’s not perfect, okay? I handled it badly. But that doesn’t give you the right to punish me by running away.

HOMYGOD.

1.) She didn’t expect you to get it, but she also didn’t expect you to kick her out.

2.) I GUFFAWED at “mom’s not perfect.” GUFFAWED.

3.) Well guess what MOM? YOUR 17 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER ISN’T PERFECT EITHER. Maybe SHE handled it badly too.

4.) WAY TO BE SELF CENTERED.

Sorry. That really rubbed me the wrong way.

Sweeney: Lest we get into another round of JOYCE IS THE WORST PARENT EVER speeches, I’ll just say this:

Lor: And speaking of rubbing me the wrong way! XANDER picks this moment to jump in because nobody fucking asked him a god damn thing. Buffy wants to know if anyone else wants to jump and asks if maybe the kid by the dip has an opinion. Kid by the dip is of course JONATHAN THE CONTEXT-LESS WONDER.

Buffy apologizes and says that nobody could understand what she went through and that she had to deal with it on her own. Xander delivers a clunky, “you can’t bury stuff” line and we cut to the undead action outside.

Giles manages to get back into his car, away from the zombies, but sees he dropped his keys. You just know that Ripper knows how to hotwire a car, though, right? He does and gets out of there.

Back at the scene that is going to make me want to kick puppies forever, the argument continues as Buffy says, “As if I even could’ve gone to you, Xander. You made your feelings about Angel and I perfectly clear.” Mmmhmm. And she doesn’t even know what he DIDN’T tell her.

Xander: Look. I’m sorry that your honey was a demon, but most girls don’t hop a Greyhound over boy troubles.

Yes and most girls don’t have to kill their boyfriends to save the world, douche. UGH.

Sweeney: This whole scene made me rage the fuck out. I was glad my sister and I got to watch it actually together instead of just over Skype, so that I had someone to yell with. Yelling together is helpful, I have found.

K: I’m gonna +1 all of that, with a side note of “OMG, BUFFY. PLEASE KNEE XANDER IN THE JUNK BECAUSE HE IS A TOTAL DOUCHECANOE.” because it makes me feel better. 

Lor: Cordelia, for her part, interceds, but it’s tactless and Buffy stops her. It’s a good thing too because they are going on and on about demons right in front of everyone.

Willow tries to say something but Buffy stops her too, saying she can’t handle it coming from her.

Xander, BECAUSE NOBODY ASKED HIM, says Willow should finish.

Buffy: God, Xander! Do you think you could at least stick to annoying me on your own behalf?
Xander: Fine! You stop acting like an idiot, I’ll stop annoying you!
Buffy: Oh, you wanna talk acting like an idiot, Night Hawk?

Oz steps between them, to act as referee. Willow says to let them go, though, as maybe violence will help solve their problems. SEGUE MAGIC to some undead guys busting through the windows. Poor Summers home.

K: I just noticed that there’s a zombie Sunnydale cheerleader amongst the undead. I don’t know why this entertains me as much as it does. 

Lor: Mayhem breaks out as the Scoobies break to defend the Summers home. Even Joyce is helpful and breaks a vase over a zombie. Buffy, Willow, Joyce and Xander make it upstairs where they find Pat on the floor. They drag her into Joyce’s room and notice that she’s dead, but the mask soon brings her back to life.

Giles arrives and tells Cordy and Oz that the mask holds the power. If one of the zombies puts it on, they become the demon. So, of course, Pat puts it on and becomes the demon who has the ability to camera flash and temporarily blind people. Or something. Buffy pushes the demon out of the upstairs window, because it was feeling jealous about all the damage the downstairs windows always get. Oz runs to tell Buffy that she has to go after the demon’s eyes, but she figures it out for herself, ’cause of the whole camera flash thing, and shoves a shovel in its face. It disappears and so do all of the zombies.

Back inside, Joyce is relieved that Buffy is alright. “Is this a typical day in the office,” she asks. “No,” Buffy says. “This was nothing.” Joyce’s best moments come when she’s trying to figure out the Slayer thing.

Sweeney: The key word there is trying. See, Joyce, it’s funny what happens when you actually try to be a parent!

Lor: The Scoobies all make-up over sappy music and the bond that killing demons creates.

At school, Giles walks into Snyder’s office. Snyder is super confident about never letting B back in, but Giles thinks he can make a case for the state court. Snyder is still unconvinced, which is great for the viewer, because we get to see Giles grab him by the collar and ask, “would you like me to convince you?”

Everyone at home is chanting, “yes! yes! yes!”

K: RIPPER! RIPPER! RIPPER!

Lor: At the cafe from earlier, Buffy and Willow sit and talk. Willow is going over her witch-y stuff. Buffy apologizes and Willow says, “I have to make allowances for what you’re going through and be a grown up about it.” Which is what she did in approximately 0% of this episode, so this whole smug superiority thing at the end is beyond me. I guess it opens the door for a little name calling contest to close the episode.

Clearly, I had trouble with how everyone dealt with Buffy being home. I don’t exonerate B, so I guess what I’m saying is that everyone except for Giles and Oz had moments of suck here.

See you next time.

 

Next time: There’s a new girl in town. Find out who it is in Buffy the Vampire Slayer S03 E03 – Faith, Hope and Trick.