Buffy the Vampire Slayer S03 E03 – Sharing issues

Previously: Buffy’s homecoming was less than happy but a little zombie killing later, all was right with the Scoobies.

—

Faith, Hope & Trick

Kirsti: We open on the high school steps. Willow tells Oz that she’s giddy about going off campus for lunch, which is not covering up her total panicky freakout at all well. Xander and Cordy walk up behind her, and the boys grab an arm each, dragging Willow down the stairs. They cross the road to the park(?!) opposite the school, where Buffy is setting up a picnic lunch.

Lor: I had a park next to my middle school and that park was the park of pre-marital sex, drugs, shame and hopelessness. True story. This park looks much nicer.

Sweeney: I loved the  carry Willow bit. It was a cute moment for the Xander/Willow friendship.

K: Cordelia asks Buffy when she became Martha Stewart, which leads to Buffy being all “I am SO much better than Martha Stewart.” Xander says that he doesn’t think Martha Stewart slays, and Oz replies with “Oh, I hear she can, but she doesn’t like to“, which makes me snort with laughter every time I watch this episode. Buffy mentions that she and Joyce have a meeting with Snyder the following day, and Willow changes the topic by pointing out a boy who apparently likes Buffy. She tells Buffy to “do that thing with your mouth that boys like” and Buffy gives her a “DUDE, WTF????” face.

Lor: My not-so-secret Willow and Buffy ship keeps on strong.

Sweeney: SAME. It’s my favorite relationship on this show.

K: With the exception of the previous episode, it’s mine too.

Random Rebound Boy walks past and says hi. Willow thinks that the first contact went well, and Cordy agrees on account of RRB didn’t try to kill any of them. Buffy says that she just wants things to go back to normal, and Xander points out that dating is a normal thing, which he follows up by calling Buffy “you little slut.” She punches him in the arm (NOT where I would have punched him, even if he is joking) and hahahaha, Xander’s in pain, and GOOD.

Lor: Not sure you should joke that way with your best friend whose vagina wrecked a man. Also, your best friend who can beat you up bad. Poor Xander.

K: Cut to a burger joint and a limo pulling into the drive through. The limo’s passenger orders a diet soda, and then tells someone offscreen that Sunnydale’s all kinds of quaint and he loves that the burger joint employee called him ‘sir’. He follows it up with “Admittedly, not a haven for the brothers — strictly the caucasian persuasion in the Dale — but you gotta stand up and salute their death rate,” making it obvious that he’s on Team Hellmouth. (L: And he’s black! Which you might also deduce from, you know, looking at him. K: I was trying to find a politically correct way of saying that, Lor. JEEZ. L: WHOOPS.)

The mysterious person in the dark – who has a monster-y hand – says that they’re in town for one reason only: to kill the Slayer. Mysterious Dude in the Dark makes all kinds of “here’s what I’m going to do to the Slayer” threats, and Mr. Trick (I’m just going to use his name, even though we don’t know it yet) says that MDitD is making him hungry. He vamps out, and drags the burger joint employee into the limo, which speeds away with the employee’s legs flailing out the side.

After the credits, Buffy and Angel are dream!slow dancing at the Bronze as the gang watch on from a table. Buffy’s claddagh ring falls to the floor, and when Angel picks it up, Buffy has a flashback to killing him. “I had to“, she says. Angel clutches the ring in his hand, and blood starts to drip from his hand and spread across his chest as he says ” I loved you” in an accusatory tone, followed by “GO TO HELL!“, and a Zombified Angel:

Lor: And thus concludes the “bare minimum open credits qualifications” portion of this episode. Thanks Angel!

Sweeney: I don’t want to sound ungrateful for getting to see my fictional boyfriend, but each one of these dream sequences is more pointless than the last. But zombie!Angel makes me giggle almost as much as his flashback accent.

K: It’s almost like they had make up left over from last time, and went “eh, why not zombify him to use it up?”

Buffy wakes, and pulls her claddagh ring out of her bedside table. She stares at it as the Flutes of Extreme Sadness play before Joyce bursts in and asks if she’s ready to “face the beast.” Cut to Snyder’s office where he’s giving Buffy the terms of her starting back at school: retake make up tests, provide a letter of recommendation from someone other than Giles, and that she attend an interview with the school psychologist. Snyder reveals that he was overruled by the school board on Buffy coming back to Sunnydale. Buffy mature adults “Wow. That’s like having your whole ability to do your job called into question.” When Snyder says nothing, Joyce chimes in with “I think what my daughter’s trying to say is ‘Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!’”

Lor: We totally have a Joyce supporter in the comments now too, so I feel compelled to give credit where credit is due: High five Joyce.

Sweeney: I’ll +1 that. The two episode subplot of dealing with Buffy’s expulsion featured some decent moments for Joyce. I will say this for her: in the rare moments where she understands what is going on and how to actually support her daughter, she does a wonderful job. (Off the top of my head, I can really only think of this and the ax thing, but those were moments!) I tend to err on the side of parent!fail primarily because she consistently doesn’t bother trying to understand, but when she feels needed/useful, she can be great.

K: Cut to Willow and Buffy heading into the Wiggins Library to see Giles. He’s mixing up a binding spell to ensure Acathla can’t wake up, and tells Buffy that he needs some details about defeating Acathla and Angel for the spell. Buffy reluctantly fills in some details, but neglects to mention that Angel was all soul-having when she killed him. She leaves for a make up test, and Willow hangs around, showing off her newfound witch-y knowledge of the ingredients Giles is using for the spell. He warns her against playing with things she doesn’t understand which, with my added benefit of knowing what’s going to happen in the future, I would recommend she pay attention to.

Sweeney: +1. (Isn’t being able to see the future awesome?)

K: So much. That night, Buffy is hanging out with Willow and Oz at the Bronze when Random Rebound Guy approaches and asks Buffy to dance. She awkwardly turns him down, and he says that he’ll just stand next to the dance floor in case she changes her mind. Cordy and Xander approach, and Cordy points out a trailer trash looking girl dancing with a guy who’s apparently still in love with the 70s. Buffy’s Slayer senses are tingling. As the gang watch, the pair head outside, and Buffy follows. As she passes the dance floor, Random Rebound Guy gets all “YAY, YOU WANT TO DANCE AFTER ALL!!”, and she has to burst his bubble. It’s like kicking a slightly stalkery puppy.

Outside the Bronze, the gang hear a girl shout, and follow the noise just in time to see Trailer Trash Girl beating the crap out of Disco Vamp. TTG introduces herself as Faith, and Oz says “I’m gonna go out on a limb and say there’s a new Slayer in town“, and YAY FAITH IS HERE! She gets her stake on, and Buffy’s got a major case of “WTF?” face. “Thanks B, couldn’t have done it without you” says Faith, as she hands Buffy back her stake.

Sweeney: She has such a fantastic entrance. I have mixed emotions about Faith, but then, we’re supposed to, so I guess that’s a writing!win. Faith is, however, another example of a character whose routine, though awesome in small doses, starts to grate when she appears too often. (Dru is the other major player in this category for me.)

Still, I love female characters who kick literal ass and appreciate morally ambiguous characters, so I’m very excited that she’s here.

K: Hey Lor, do you see now why I laughed to myself every time you refer to Buffy as B??

Lor: Yep. And, I mean, I have a love/hate relationship with Eliza Dushku and her face. Granted, I don’t know anything about Faith at the moment, so I’m basing this entirely on Eliza. I mean, I LOVE Bring it On and loved Dollhouse. She also essentially plays the same person over and over again.

But it’s cool. Welcome Faith! I can share my not at all original nickname!

Sweeney: Spoiler alert: she’s still playing the same person, but now with slayer powers!

K: I feel like her characters in Bring It On and Dollhouse (and pretty much everything she’s done from 1998 onwards) are based entirely on Faith. Which I’m okay with. At least she’s not playing Arnold Schwarzenegger’s daughter from True Lies over and over?

Back in the Bronze, Faith is telling stories about her slaying endeavours. Xander drools a little, on account of Xander loves him a Slayer. She says that slaying always makes you hungry and horny and the Scoobies all turn to stare at Buffy:

Sweeney: The quizzical looks on the Scoobies’ faces are all awesome, and I especially love how there is a slightly different undercurrent to each of them. I may or may not have just stared at that gif analyzing how in-character each of those stares were.

Blogging: how to go from first-time watcher to dedicated over-analyzing fangirl in just a few short months.

K: I just did EXACTLY the same. I think Oz’s expression is my favourite.  (S: Me too!) Willow asks why Faith was called to Sunnydale, and she says that her Watcher is on a retreat in England and that she snuck out to meet “the infamous Buff.” Faith asks what Buffy’s toughest kill was, and she has a flashback to killing Angel. But she lamely tells the story of The Three, in which absolutely no one is interested. Oz interrupts to ask how Faith feels about werewolves.

Willow: Oz is a werewolf.
Buffy: Long story.
Oz: Got bit.
Buffy: Apparently not that long.
Faith: Hey, long as you don’t go scratching at me or humping my leg, we’re five by five, you know?

Faith gets all “YAY NO WATCHERS, LET’S HAVE FUN!!”, and we cut to the Wiggins Library the next day where Giles gets misty eyed about the retreat, and then sulks a little. Faith says that it’s too stuffy for a guy like Giles, and Buffy gets all “Uhhhhhh, HAVE YOU MET HIM??” “If I’d’ve known they came this young and cute I’d have requested a transfer” is Faith’s reply, and the gang share an “Eeeeeeeeeeeeuw!!” moment.

Giles mentions the obligatory weekly evil, which ends in Buffy reluctantly inviting Faith over for dinner, followed by a side of patrolling. Willow points out that Buffy has a make up test, and invites Faith to hang with her and Xander while Buffy’s busy, and the three of them leave. Giles asks Buffy some more questions about Acaltha and Angel, but she bails.

In the hallway, Willow and Xander point out all the key spots of Sunnydale High to Faith. Like the cafeteria where they nearly got eaten by snakes, and the stairs that tried to eat Willow. Faith asks about why Buffy is so tightly wound.

Lor: I’m a little annoyed by this and by the Scoobs not stepping up to defend B, or like, notice how she’s feeling. AGAIN. I mean, it’s all fun and “look where this almost happened!” games, but most those sentences end with, “and then Buffy saved us.” She’s “tightly wound” (which, hardly) because she keeps saving all of your asses.

Bitches.

Sweeney: Cosign forever / + all the numbers.

K: Faith bumps into Random Rebound Guy. They flirt a little, and Buffy appears just in time to be all mopey. “You really do need to find the fun, B!…uffy...” Willow says. Buffy glares a little, and stomps off to pull Faith away.

Sweeney: See above. It hurts my heart a little when Willow and/or Buffy are failing to be epic BFFs.

K: Cut to an abandoned building where Mr. Trick is having a fanboy moment about Sunnydale being wired for fibre optics, because it means he can have superfast (by 90s standards) internet. Apparently he’s all about Vampire Globalisation or something? The monster of the week says that all he wants is the blood of the Slayer. Mr. Trick mentions that Sunnydale already has a Slayer, meaning that they’re after Faith, not Buffy. Cranky Beast says the Faith is going to pay for what she did to him.

At the Summers’ house, Joyce asks Faith if she likes being a Slayer. Faith is super enthusiastic, and Buffy’s snarky.

As a result, Joyce decides that Buffy should give up her Slaying duties and let Faith take over. “Mom, the only way you get a new Slayer is when the old Slayer dies” Buffy says, and then trails off when she realises what she’s said. Joyce is horrified and “OH GOD CAN’T COPE”-y, which is understandable. There’s a nice mother-daughter bonding moment, which almost makes me forget how much of a terrible parent Joyce has been up until this point.

Lor: OKAY. SO. Speaking of Slayers dying. Faith is around because Kendra died and Kendra was around because Buffy died. So there are two active Slayers in the world. Who are these Watchers at the retreat? Ex-Watchers. How frequently do Slayers die, yo? Also wouldn’t they invite the one Watcher who is actually watching someone? Maybe I just feel sad for Giles and want him to go on a retreat. 🙁

Sweeney: So true. Giles has many Watchers Council issues throughout the series, but it’s perplexing that Giles wouldn’t be included. I’d add that there are presumably future/unassigned Watchers in addition to Ex-Watchers. In fact, probably more of the former than the latter. Now that you have me thinking about this, actually, I’m just going to go out on a limb and speculate that it would be an event largely devoid of the actual struggles involved in being a watcher. I’d bet it would be analogous to, for example, a social justice meeting containing academics and no activists. Just a theory. /sidebar

K: Let’s just go ahead and file that under “new head canon”, mmmkay?

Later that night, Buffy and Faith patrol. They bicker, and Faith says that Buffy needs to move on from Angel, and Buffy gets all “OH NO YOU DIDN’T!!”

Lor: When Buffy calls her F, I giggle.

K: So do we all. Just as they’re about to fight, a group of vamps attack. Buffy stakes one before getting pinned down by two others. Faith, meanwhile, is beating another vamp to a bloody pulp with no sense of what’s going on around her. Clearly, Homegirl has some issues. (L: UH. UNDERSTATEMENT?) (S: It’s like when I-Just-Died!Buffy was all crazy and twitchy!) Buffy breaks free, and stakes not only her vamps but Faith’s. Faith gets pissed off and leaves.

At school the next day, Buffy fills Giles in. He says that he’ll try and contact Faith’s Watcher at the retreat, and then gets all misty eyed again before asking Buffy for details about the vampires that attacked her. “The one who nearly bit me said something about…kissing toast? He lived for kissing toast.“, she says. That sets Giles off into a panicky rush to the Wiggins Library. He tells Buffy that Kakistos is the name of a vampire so old that his hands and feet are cloven (EW), and that he must be in town for a reason. Buffy immediately jumps to Faith as the reason. When Giles questions her jump, she says “Giles, there are two things I don’t believe in: coincidence, and leprechauns.” And I’m just going to stop for a minute to be grateful that Whedon never decided to make leprechauns a thing in the Buffy ‘verse because NO.

Sweeney: UGH, K, SPOILERS! Sorry, Lor; now you know that there will never be leprechauns.

K: Sorry, Lor. If you want to see something with leprechauns, I can recommend a completely Godawful episode of Supernatural!

Lor: I’m good. If I want leprechauns, I’ll buy a box of Lucky Charms.

K: Anyway, Buffy goes off to get some details from Faith, only to be confronted by Random Rebound Guy in the hallway. He’s kind of pathetically desperate, and asks her to go to the Buster Keaton festival that weekend. Buffy agrees, and he presents her with a token of friendship – a claddagh ring. She drops the ring to the floor and tells RRG that she can’t do this. He leaves and Giles approaches, to see Buffy with tears in her eyes. He tells her that he phoned England and that Faith’s Watcher is dead.

Lor: Just pausing to reiterate one of the greatest post titles we’ve had so far, but how exactly would they fill out an episode if everyone just paid attention to Buffy?

Sweeney: This is probably the great question of the entire series.

K: SRSLY. Cut to a cheap motel where the motel manager is telling Faith that the room is $18 a day (WOW, SUNNYDALE. Just…WOW.), and that she needs to pay up. Buffy turns up and mentions that Kakistos is in town. Faith freaks out and starts packing. It’s kind of like a rerun of the scene between Buffy and Willow in the previous episode, except that Buffy’s playing the part of the douchey friend. She’s all “Don’t leave me to clean up your messes, dammit!”

Sweeney: I don’t know, this is a bit different than the Buffy/Willow clean-up-your-mess bit, given that Buffy and Faith just met and Faith literally brought this mess upon Buffy. B is still being a bit douchey on her delivery and needs to work on her people skills, but I’d say it’s a very different dynamic.

K: I’m gonna go ahead and use this gif because it makes me happy, and it’s VAGUELY applicable:

Back in Sunnydale, there’s a knock on the door. Faith looks through the peep hole to see the manager. She opens the door to find the manager’s newly dead body being held by Kakistos. Kakistos grabs her around the neck, but Buffy slams the door on his arm. She gets it shut, but Faith is having a major freakout. Kakistos breaks the door down just as the two Slayers escape out the window. They run down an alley, and Mr. Trick sends his minions after them. They hide in a building, and Buffy asks Faith what happened to her Watcher. Faith freaks out some more, and says that she saw her Watcher get killed and then ran. Buffy tells her that she did the right thing, and that between the two of them, they’ll kill Kakistos. At which point Faith gets a terrified look on her face, and the camera pans out to show a pile of dead bodies – they’re hiding in Kakistos’ lair.

The minion vamps attack in an inept fashion, and Kakistos approaches a panicky Faith. Just as he’s about to attack her, Buffy jumps in with her stake drawn. She and Kakistos fight. Meanwhile, Mr. Trick and his remaining minions channel S02 E22 Spike and get all “Something bad might happen to my co-conspirator if I don’t help! OH WELL, BYE.” (L: I MISS SPIKE.) Back in the fight, Buffy stakes him, but nothing happens. “I guess you need a bigger stake, Slayer!” Kakistos evil laughs. At this, Faith grabs a contrivance-y chunk of wooden beam that happens to be lying around, and stakes him with it.

He turns to dust, and the two Slayers give each other “Thank God that’s over” looks.

At school the next day, Giles tells Buffy and Willow that Faith will be staying in Sunnydale until a new Watcher is assigned. Buffy says that Faith really came through when the chips were down, and then comes clean about Angel being cured when she killed him as the Flutes of Extreme Sadness play in the background. Giles says it will help with his spell, and Willow says that she’s sorry.

Lor: As Willow’s face falls, I can’t help but think, “AND I HOPE YOU’RE SORRY FOR LAST EPISODE.”

Hmmph.

Sweeney: +1

K: Buffy’s relieved to get the secret off her chest, and leaves the library. Willow asks Giles if she can help with the spell, and he tells her that there is no spell – it was just a ruse to get Buffy to tell them what really happened.

Meanwhile, Buffy is waiting for Random Rebound Guy outside his classroom. She word-vomits an explanation at him, and asks if he still wants to go to the film festival. He’s in, apparently. She says that she has a thing to do before they go, and we cut to the mansion where the Tinkly Pianos of All the Feelings are playing. She crouches down, whispers goodbye and places her claddagh ring on the floor before turning and walking away.

The camera zooms in on her claddagh ring, which starts to vibrate. There’s a flash of light, and a butt naked, dripping in sweat Angel drops out of the ceiling:

Lor: 1.) YUM.

2.) WHAT THE HELL.

3.) Pun intended.

Sweeney: LA LA LA, JUST WANDERING AROUND THE POST +1ing EVERYTHING YOU SAY. Mostly because I obviously had to comment on this, but have nothing else to say.

I’m glad we can be done with those pointless dream sequences. Also, thanks Kirsti.

K: I do what I can. You’d better reciprocate during Shirtless!Spike episodes. Just saying… 😉

ANYWAY. Angel’s back. DUN DUN DUN. Cue end credits.

 

Next time: People are getting ripped apart during the full moon. Is Oz responsible? Find out in Buff the Vampire Slayer S03 E04 – Beauty and the Beasts.