Buffy the Vampire Slayer S03 E10 – Team Feels

Previously: Anya rolled into town and Cordelia wished Buffy away. Shit got bad, so Giles destroyed her power center, effectively turning the entire episode into one giant “IT WAS ALL A DREAM!” moment.

Amends

Sweeney: WELP, this is the luck of the draw, dear readers: this episode is a Team Feels episode if ever there was one, and I know how small our numbers are, so this might be painful for everyone. But you know what? SORRY I’M NOT SORRY. The worst part is that disease, which has been working its way through the Snark Squad, has claimed Kirsti so she’s not even here to represent Team Heartless Cow today. Lor will have to play both sides on her behalf, because we all know I can’t do it.

The episode begins with a reminder of the Angel curse and its undoing. From there, we cut to Dublin, 1838, so we know it’s time for some really shitty David Boreanaz accent time. Some helpless dude is running through the streets, and is snatched up by recently vamped Angelus. His oldtimey hair/pornstache become him about as much as that accent. Anyway, he tells the guy it’s Christmas and then bites him, before Angel wakes up panicking in the present day. Or, you know, late ’90s, present-to-the-show day.

Angel tries to walk this off on the streets of Sunnydale, and he runs into Buffy, who is sporting some seriously tragic bangs.

Lorraine: She usually has it combed off to the side. I’ve noticed those wee pieces of hair before and wondered, but seeing it now in all of its fringe glory, I am aghast.

Sweeney: They have an awkward conversation about shopping for Christmas presents. Angel gets wicked tense and uncomfortable when he sees the guy he killed standing in the street in Sunnydale, as I suspect would be the reaction to seeing the ghosts of your victims if you experienced belated remorse through a weird soul arrangement that never really makes any sense. Anyway, CHRISTMAS. GHOSTS OF HIS PAST. Oh, sorry, we still have a lot more time to be beaten over the head with this (lack of) subtlety.

Buffy turns to see what he was looking at, but the ghost disappears (as ghosts do) before she has a chance to see anything. Roll credits!

After the credits, we’re at school and Buffy is relaying the story to Willow and Xander. Willow’s doing the understanding friend thing and Xander’s doing the annoying quip thing.

Lor: WONDER WHY BUFFY DOESN’T LIKE TO TELL HIM STUFF.

Sweeney: INDEED. I WONDER. Buffy laments that she’s trying to do the right thing and get over him, but then he appears. She just wants a nice, quiet, Christmas vacation. We’re on the third season now, Buffy. There is no longer any excuse for you not knowing how impossible this is.

They discuss Christmas plans and Willow reminds them that she’s Jewish. They run into Cordelia, who takes a low blow by sharing the fact that Xander’s home life involves drunken fighting among the so-called grownups. It’s a low-blow, but she was hospitalized after witnessing his cheating, so I’m calling it a draw. She then rubs their nose in the fact that she’ll be skiing in Aspen. Willow basically says what I just said and that they should all try to be more forgiving.

Oz appears as she’s saying this, and they disappear to an empty classroom to talk. He tells her seeing her with Xander made him feel a way that he had never felt when it was not a full moon.

Lor: Lines like these are my favorite. It’s such a normal teenager, “I miss you” scene, but we are of course reminded that it comes courtesy of a werewolf. Never change, Sunnydale.

Sweeney: Oz is not sure if it will ever really be over between Willow and Xander, but he misses her so badly that he likens it to a lost limb and wants to give it a shot. Then Willow’s all, “Do you want us to hug now?” and it’s adorable and THEY ARE JUST THE CUTEST EVER.

Elsewhere in Sunnydale, it becomes nighttime and Buffy is out with Joyce in public and not slaying. It’s craziness. They’re Christmas tree shopping and Joyce guilts Buffy into inviting Faith to their Christmas Eve dinner in a pretty adorable way. Buffy then tries to get Joyce to agree to invite Giles too and she’s all “NOPE. NOT HAPPENING,” due to the recent awkward with the candy.

Buffy goes wandering through the tree lot and finds a patch of trees that have inexplicably died. Then we cut to some weird chanting and dudes with their eyes cut out. Angel wakes up gasping for breath again.

Faith is trying to get her shitty motel TV to work when Buffy shows up to invite her to the big Christmas Eve dinner. Faith correctly declares that Joyce sent Buffy down, but B denies it. She declines because she was invited to a Sounds Like It’s Made Up Party. The conversation is super awkward. Buffy compliments Faith’s Christmas lights and goes.

And then, to up the awkward ante, Angel shows up at Giles’ door. Anthony Stewart Head wins at life for how beautifully he portrayed the shock/horror in that moment. Angel says he’s sorry to bother him and Giles laughs because that phrase sounds amusing coming from him. Angel asks for his help and Giles says the funny keeps on coming. Angel knows that he has no right to ask for his help, but there’s no one else.

Giles gets a crossbow and points it at Angel before he invites him in. (Giles should always be holding a crossbow because he looks really fucking cool with one.) Angel explains about the dreams and says that he needs to know why he’s back on Earth and not suffering in a demon dimension for eternity. Giles is all, “And this would give you peace of mind? LOL, NOPE.” What with the outcome of Angel’s previous experience with peace of mind. As Giles is saying this, Angel sees Ms. Calendar touching Giles’ arm and he starts wigging out.

Giles turns and now it’s clear that only Angel can see the ghosts. He panics and leaves Giles standing there all, “WTF?”

Lor: Nothing to say here because snarky Giles did all the heavy lifting, and it was beautiful.

Sweeney: Angel then goes back to sleep and he has another crazy dream that takes us back to his accent and a majorly lolzy wig.

Lor: It’s a little Inigo Montaya-eque. Sorry Inigo.

Sweeney: He’s luring a poor pregnant woman into a corner and it’s really, really fucked up and sad. He kills her and looks up to see Buffy before he wakes up in a panic. Only, this time, we cut to Buffy, also wide awake.

He gets out of bed and is trying to calm down when Ms. Calendar appears. They banter about the fact that he killed her and he apologizes, but she says he shouldn’t because she’s dead and, as such, is over it. He should feel sorry for himself, she says, but he’s already got that covered. She touches his head and then morphs into the dude from the beginning of the episode, who says they’re not trying to make him feel bad. They’re just trying to remind him of who he is.

Elsewhere, Buffy is explaining the shared dream situation to Giles. He is dubious of her claim that the dream was shared, but she says that there were things about Angel’s past in this dream that she couldn’t possibly know about. Buffy says that there is something wrong with him.

Giles, in spite of realizing how fucked up it is that this is twice now that he’s been asked to help Angel, relents and tells Buffy that he knows, since he’s seen Angel. They decide to go all researchy and try to figure out how/why Angel is back. Much to the surprise of, you know, everyone, Xander appears and offers to help for no reason other than trying to be a good friend. Xander, I’m so proud of you right now.

Lor: I mean, there is a little side of “not having anywhere else to be” BUT, yes. This was an excellent Xander moment as he not only recognized his past douche, but offered to set it aside to help them.

Sweeney: Willow also shows up shortly thereafter. We fast-forward through research time and get Willow and Buffy girltalk time, discussing how things are great-but-also-hard being back with Oz.

Buffy grumbles about how poor the research is going as we segue magic to the Brooding Bungalow and Angel is on the floor. A man in a suit is his first ghost and he transforms into all the others, gradually. Their basic objective is to drive home that Angelus was an extra psychotic murderer. He mumbles something about how he was a man before that. And Ms. Calendar and the Pregnant Lady are alternately like, “LOL sure.” Because he was basically a drunken loser in his pre-vamp days. Except, there’s clear manipulation here, so this version is a bit dubious. Still, I know that regardless of what I say, the comments will be rife with debates over the various who-is-Angel lines.

Lor: I think the best thing he says in his own defense is that he was young. I don’t know what else we learn about Angel in the future, but we can’t be overly harsh on him without also considering Ripper as a young man or even the rest of the Scoobies who all have their penchants for bad/flawed behavior.

Sweeney: That night there is more weird dream crossing, except the dream in question is the night of B’s magical vagina. As if the girl needed more nightmares about this, it ends when one of the eyes-cut-out men is standing in the room and Angel vamps out and bites her.

Lor: Speaking of nightmares, watching them mutually sleep-writhe was uncomfortable…

Sweeney: SO UNCOMFORTABLE. I’m not sure why that was necessary. When he wakes up, ghost!Ms. Calendar is telling him that if he wants her, then he should just take her. If he just pours his guilt and frustration into her, then he’ll be freed by her magical vagina. This, says Ms. Calendar, is why they brought him back. He needs to take her in order to be ready to kill her.

Back in the library, Giles has found references to a mega ancient evil that would have had the power to bring Angel back and Buffy recognizes them from her dream that she had when she fell asleep at the library. Giles is all, “Ooh, dream? WHAT HAPPENED?” Buffy’s response is brilliant: “We don’t need to get sidetracked.”

Anyway, part of the power of “The First” includes fun times like crazy hallucinations, so that makes them a likely source. Giles tells Buffy that they can’t actually fight The First because it’s not a physical being, but B doesn’t really do, “No.” They go down to Willy’s Seedy Demon Bar. Xander hilariously tries to be menacing but fails (in an endearing way). He doesn’t have loads of information, but suspects that what they’re looking for is underground. He also compliments Xander on his intimidating, so I guess we disagree.

Elsewhere, Willow is trying to seduce Oz. It’s equal parts adorable, awkward, and sad. Oz, understandably, freaks out. Willow assures him that she’s ready, but he tells her that he’s not. While he has had sex before, this is different because he doesn’t want this to happen because she’s trying to prove anything. She says she wanted him to know and he says that he does. They continue to be the cutest.

Back in the Summers home, tree stuff is happening and Joyce awkwardly asks, “Angel’s on top again,” but she’s asking Angel v. Star. The doorbell rings and it’s Faith! Oh, I should probably mention now that it’s super hot. They’ve been talking about it all episode and it’s a relevant plot point that I’ve ignored.

Buffy runs up to her room and the door is promptly slammed behind her by a seriously twitchy, moderately deranged Angel. She asks what he’s doing there and he can’t really answer. Then ghost!Ms. Calendar appears and says something about how she wants him to touch her. Then he tells her that she needs to stay away from him, and she points out the absurdity of him supposedly coming to her house to tell her to stay away.

Lor: High five Edward Cullen!

Sweeney: Ghost!Ms. Calendar is standing there baiting him and it’s super awkward and tense and Buffy just wants to know how she can help. Finally, he screams “LEAVE ME ALONE” and jumps out the window. That sounds like something we’d write to be snarky, but because I’m writing this and not Kirsti, you know that this is what actually happened.

Buffy asks Faith to stay and look after her mother. She goes to Giles and asks for his help, but he still has nothing. She’s in a panic and he reminds her that he if Angel truly becomes a danger she may have to kill him AGAIN. I know Giles has basically been a saint in this episode, but way to kick a girl when she’s down.

Giles asks her if she can do that and we segue magic to Angel telling ghost!Ms. Calendar that he can’t do it. The it, in this case, is killing Buffy. They argue about it and she tells him that sooner or later, as long as he lives, she’ll die. So Angel resolves to kill himself. She says he’s not strong enough, but he says he doesn’t need strength, just the sunrise. Because that death requires time for our girl to come up with a solution, obviously.

Ms. Calendar says that this wasn’t the plan, but, as he walks off, adds that this will do.

Research continues at Giles’ place and she catches on a line about how “nothing shall grow above or below,” which reminds her of the Christmas tree lot weirdness. So they go to that place and start digging. Sure enough, there is a tunnel-like space below, because that’s clearly true of all of Sunnydale.

Lor: Also, Buffy’s got another ass-kicking trench coat on, which is funny, because it’s supposedly super hot out.

Sweeney: So it’s not so much cold as all temperatures: slayers have a backwards sense of all temperatures.

Eyeless dudes are chanting around some artifacts. Buffy breaks that up, and then she sees ghost!Ms. Calendar, who lectures her about how, as a demon, she can’t be killed by Buffy. It’s a pretty intense speech, but Buffy cuts it off with her usually pithy whatever.

The First morphs into some CGI weirdness that shouts “DEAD BY SUNRISE” as she/it disappears. Buffy runs to the Brooding Bungalow but he’s not there. Due to contrivance, she knows exactly where in all the outdoors of Sunnydale, he chooses to go stand to die.

They have a really intense conversation, with Buffy pleading for him to go back inside and her side of it is basically a general anti-suicide speech, because this show is good at weaving these things in there. He tells Buffy about how close he came to listening to it telling him to kill her, because he wants her so badly and he is weak and should therefore die. Buffy tells him that’s ridiculous and that everyone is weak at some point or another and that this is not, as he claims, a show of strength, because strength is fighting, no matter how hard it gets. Near the end of this, they have a brief physical altercation as he’s trying to demonstrate that he should just die, and she’s all, “LOL but I can push you too, so no, that argument doesn’t work.”

She’s crying and telling him about how much she wishes that she could stop loving him so much but she does and regardless of whether the world would be a better place without him in it, shouldn’t it mean something to him that she doesn’t think it would be.As this is happening, it starts snowing. Even though it has been insanely hot, and Sunnydale is presumably somewhere in Southern California, where snow isn’t really a thing, it starts snowing, causing the sunrise to happen majorly late, or something like that? I don’t know things about weather or science, but this is generally insane-sounding, though that’s supposed to be the point. EVEN THE WEATHER DOESN’T WANT ANGEL TO DIE. SORRY TEAM HEARTLESS COW. THE WEATHER HAS SPOKEN.

Lor: At some point between “am I a righteous man” and Buffy’s speech, I got seriously teary-eyed. I’m a sucker for her feels. But, I must say that David Boreanaz has moments of just terrible acting in this scene. AND THEN, it started to snow and the sun never came out and I busted out in some serious, serious LOL’s. So much for feels! THIS IS HILARIOUS.

Sweeney: Welp, you’ve done THC proud. I’m sure Kirsti will appreciate this. I missed her sassy commentary.

We get a bunch of shots of everyone running out to marvel at the snow and then Buffy and Angel walking through Sunnydale holding hands in the snow before we roll final credits. The “Grr, Argh” monster has a Santa hat on.

 Lor: Merry Christmas everyone!

 

Next time on Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Willow gets witchier and the mothers of Sunnydale show us that maybe negligence is a good look for them. BtVS S03 E11 – Gingerbread.