Buffy the Vampire Slayer S03 E22 – Pomp and unbelievable circumstances.

Previously: Faith poisoned Angel and Slayer blood was the only way to cure him. In related news, Buffy stuck a knife in Faith’s gut.
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Graduation Day Part 2

Kirsti: We open with Buffy exactly where we left her – on the roof of Faith’s apartment building, wincing in pain and with Faith’s crazy murder knife in her hand. It’s now covered in blood – Faith’s blood. She pulls herself upright as the Cello of Desperation starts up in the background, and she leaves via the fire escape. As she disappears from view, the camera pans up to the broken window and the Mayor walks into the frame. Nice timing, B! The Mayor tells his vamp minion that they have to find Faith, and to put all the minions to work on finding her. ASCENSION BE DAMNED! FIND MY DAUGHTER/’PRETTY WOMAN’ SUBSTITUTE! Basically, the Mayor is having a wiggins. He repeats “She’ll be alright” to himself over and over as we go to the credits.

Lor: Yeaaaah, I’m seeing more of that concern Sweeney was talking about in the last post. Not being able to see the future sucks.

Sweeney: Nah, I think you’ve been more than vindicated in the comments by others who didn’t see it the first time around either.

K: Over in the Wiggins Library, Giles is having a similar, if slightly more dignified, wiggins about where Buffy is. Xander fulfills his sacred duty as errand boy and arrives with coffee. Giles makes a disgusted face at how bad the coffee is, and Xander’s all “Hey, you’re British. You should be drinking tea!” to which Giles brilliantly replies, “Tea is soothing, and I wish to be tense.”

Lor: BEST! Also: tea cozy. That’s all. Just had to say that.

Sweeney: I love Giles and also you.

K: Cordy enters and is all “WTF, you fired my Not-Yet-Boyfriend?” Apparently Wesley could hardly speak with upset-y-ness, and is leaving the country..

Lor: Sorry. Have to comment on the fact that Cordy demands an explanation for Welsey and Xander offers, “inbreeding?” I’m pretty sure this episode is going to kick me in the gut, so it’s nice of it to start with the lol’s.

Sweeney: Gut-kicking is what Buffy finales do best!

K: Truth. Giles explains the situation, and Cordy makes a cluelessly bitchy reply until Xander interrupts and basically tells her to do some research or GTFO. She magnanimously decides to help out before making a snarky comment about how Buffy’s always thinking of herself.

Cut to the Brooding Bungalow, where Angel’s arrow wound now has a nice sunburst of infection grossness around it. He’s still all sweaty, and Willow is moping his brow. Angel wakes up and gets a little gropy and “I love you”-y until Willow’s like “Uhhhhhhh, NOT BUFFY.” Then there’s sad panda-ing from Angel. Willow walks out to the living area where Oz is. This happens, and Team Heartless Cow says LOL FOREVER:

Oz: “Any change?”
Willow: “He’s delirious. He thought I was Buffy.”
Oz: “You too, huh?”

Lor: Whatever. That was funny for everyone. Mostly because, Oz <3

Sweeney: +1. It’s a joke that is not exclusive to the THC ottoman. 😉

K: SOMETIMES I’M NOT SURE, YOU GUYS. I can’t wait until season 4… (Who would have thought someone would ever say THAT??) Anyway, they’re all adorable and squee-worthy for another minute or so and then Buffy rudely interrupts again arrives looking like someone just killed her puppy. They’re all “where’s Murdery Slayer?” (it’s like the Spice Girls, only with more stabbing and less Mini Coopers), and Buffy shakes her head sadly. She asks them to leave so that she can be alone with Angel. They do so, and she walks into the bedroom.

Herein follows a scene that Team Feels probably should have covered, because all I can think is “UGH, GET ON WITH IT” a la Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

To summarise: Angel’s all “I wanted to see you one more time before I……..” and Buffy’s all “BITCH PLEASE, IMMA SAVE YOUR ASS.” She takes off her leather jacket and tells him to drink her. He’s all “NO. SHAN’T. IT’S CHRISTMAS [What up, Whovians?] IT’LL KILL YOU.” She’s all “There’s no other way.” He petitions for killing Faith, and Buffy said she tried. He says that in that case, it’s all over, but Buffy won’t have a bar of it. Basically, take a shit ton of angst, and a cup of emo. Mix them together and you have this scene.

Eventually, she resorts to violence and just punches him in the face (YAY!) until vamp!Angel comes out to play. When he does, she exposes her neck and drags his face down until he latches on and starts drinking. Thereafter follows a scene that is equal parts murder and sexy times.

Like you weren’t thinking it.

Lor: Oh no, we were thinking it. It’s all very sexual, and this time it’s killing Buffy instead of the other way around.

K: Anyway, Angel drains too much blood, and comes to his senses to find Buffy barely alive on the floor.

After the Not Commercial, Angel rushes into the emergency room carrying Buffy. The doctor asks a lot of questions to establish what the problem is. Angel gets angry and breaks the handle off a door. Obviously, the doctor is all “What drugs have you taken?” and it’s kind of hilarious. Angel asks about a phone and leaves the doctors to do their thing. As he makes a phone call, the camera pans past him and into a nearby room where a doctor is telling the Mayor that “there is almost no chance at all that she is ever going to regain consciousness.” At that, we pan to the bed and see Faith, beaten to crap, and hooked up to all kinds of monitors. The Mayor strokes her cheek as a nurse comes in to tell the doctor that there’s another young girl in need of treatment. The Mayor joins the dots and gets his revenge face on.

Sweeney: Even when he’s doing basically nothing, HE’S STILL SO FUCKING CREEPY. Just his walk between the rooms is terrifying.

K: Truth. He walks into Buffy’s room and places his hand over her nose and mouth. Despite having been unconscious 30 seconds ago, she starts to struggle. A nurse comes in and tries to drag him off her, unsuccessfully. So she runs for security. But Angel runs in and pulls the Mayor off Buffy.

Angel: “Don’t do that!”
The Mayor: “I will. I do that and worse. Murderous little fiend! Did you see what she did to my Faith?”
Angel: “Hadn’t any plans to weep over that one.”
The Mayor: “Well, I’d get set for some weeping if I were you. I’d get set for a *world* of pain! Misery loves company, young man, and I’m looking to share that with you and your *whore*!”

At that, Angel throws him across the room.

Lor: Suffocating her? Angry. Called her a whore? HULK SMASH.

Seems legit.

K: Totes. The Mayor just laughs it off, tells Angel not to miss the second act, and leaves. We cut to Angel crouching in the hallway as the Scoobies enter. Oz is all “you’re not dying any more. WEIRD,” and Angel tells them that Buffy cured him. Giles is suuuuuuuuuuuper unimpressed, and basically tells Angel to GTFO (partly because the sun’ll be up soon and partly BECAUSE OF REASONS). Angel leaves, and Xander snarks “Gosh, I’m really going to miss him when he leaves town.” The gang go to check on Buffy, and I hand over to Sweeney.

Sweeney: Giles, greatest parental stand-in ever, saying Buffy’s name segue magics us to our girl who is…up and moving about Faith’s place. During the day. Buffy wants to know who is going to take care of Faith’s cat, and adds that everything was supposed to be different. Faith responds with riddles and tells Buffy that it’s never going to be fixed.

K: Riddles? OR FORESHADOWING???? (It’s totally foreshadowing. Seriously, you guys. Whedon is a fucking GENIUS)

Sweeney: We get a magic flash of Faith’s bloody knife in Buffy’s hand (it’s end-of-the-season-our-SFX-budget-is-totes-gone quality too) and Buffy asking Faith whose mind they’re in. More cryptic banter.

Faith: It’s getting towards that time.
Buffy: How are you going to fit all this stuff?
Faith: I’m not gonna. It’s yours.
Buffy: I can’t use all of this.
Faith: Just take what you need.

Faith then asks Buffy if she’s ready and puts her hands on her head to magic her back awake. It’s an interesting way to wrap up Faith’s arc here. An attempt to briefly make her likable again, I suppose. I admit that it kind of worked.

Buffy wakes up in her hospital bed and walks over to see Faith, still unconscious and hooked up to all of her machines. Buffy kisses her forehead.

As she walks away, the music takes an ominous turn. We next see her back in her Bad Girl Red Leather Pants, telling the gang to get Angel and “everybody” because B is now ready for war.

Lor: This mirrors the season one finale in a way. Buffy went off to face the Master but it wasn’t until she died and came back to life that she truly felt strong enough to take him on. Here, she’s once again beat the odds and returned from the brink of death. I guess that gets your adrenaline pumping. Something like that.

Sweeney: We cut to the high school the following morning. Everything is set-up for graduation and Principal Snyder is there alone, seeming very anxious. I’d like to point out that this ceremony seems crazy small for such a giant school. Why is it in their little courtyard thing and not the football stadium? Because sense-making is overrated, I guess. (K: Because about half the school gets killed in any given year? My graduation was in the school hall. Although to be fair, there were only 70 of us graduating, and we were on the stage.) Also, I LOLFOREVER at the “Congratulations Class of 1999” banner, because, you know, HILARIOUS.

Cut to Buffy, in the library, telling the gang that “that” (which we have not heard) is her basic plan and she wants to know if they think she’s crazy. They are the varying degrees of supportive that you’d expect. Willow is trying to avoid using crazy and Giles is realistic while Cordelia’s all. “LOL, bitch be crazy.”

K: SWEENEY. I can’t believe that you left out one of my all time favourite Oz things ever: when Cordy says that Buffy’s plan is pretty much the most insane plan of EVER, Oz’s reply is “We attack the Mayor with hummus.” WINNING AT CRAZY PLANS.

Lor: Leave it to our dear friend to be lovably literal.

Sweeney: That said, Cordelia follows that by saying that even if the plan is crazy, it’s the only one they’ve got and it’s Buffy’s plan, which counts for a whole lot in favor of the plan. (L: And in favor of Cordy.)  Buffy says she needs them all on board, especially Xander, who is kind of a key figure in this plan. Xander is both proud and terrified at being a key figure in a save-the-world plan. It’s a good little moment for Xander.

Then it becomes a moment that annoys me because she asks about his soldier training, and it reminds me of the heaping pile of contrivance that is Xander’s memory of his night as GI Joe. It’s not like Zeppo annoying, but reminders of this fact do get me to the Table of Ugh. To be clear: this contrivance isn’t Xander’s fault, but it’s still annoying.

K: It really is. No one ever asks Willow “Hey, remember that one time you were a ghost? Great, we need you to help out with something.” The need to repeatedly bring up that “One time, Xander was useful” thing is a pain in the arse. 

Sweeney: Anyway, Giles chimes in to tell Buffy that her plan is contingent upon her ability to control the mayor. Buffy says that Faith told her that the plan is human weakness, which I forgot to mention when I was recapping their conversation because I forgot that it was important. Oops. Willow’s all, “before or after you put her in a coma?” and the “after” is accepted with little more than a funny look from Willow.

So the gang has to figure out what that means. They ask Angel, who is their resident mayor expert because of that one night, what the mayor really doesn’t like. His only guess is germs. Cordelia says that’s great because they can just give the Mayor the ebola virus, or even just chase him around with a box that says ebola.

Lor: Second only to the hummus plan.

Sweeney: As the gang shoots that plan down, Angel realizes that the correct answer he should have given before was Faith. He uses the hospital grieving to emphasize the Mayor’s genuine concern and adds that she’s his weak link.

While Buffy mulls over what to do with that, Wesley walks in behind her. Buffy verbally berates him a bit, but he says that he’s not there for the Council, and just wants to know how he can help. Cordelia swoons about how classy that is.

Buffy gets out of her chair to start briefing the team, as we get all camera-pan-y to the mayor prepping his team of vampires for the day. The sun, apparently, isn’t going to be a problem today. Segue magic back to the library, where Wesley is reading that out of the book, and Angel adds that this news puts him back in the game.

K: Look, I know they had to find a way to get Angel into the big final fight, but an eclipse hardly seems like the best idea ever. Sure, there’s no DIRECT sunlight for him to stand in, and God knows we’ve had enough episodes where vampires can go outside during the day provided they stay in the shade. But you’re talking about around 5 minutes of FULL eclipse. Surely the Mayor would find less combustible minions who can be involved for more than 5 minutes?! Whoops, there I go, using logic again…

Lor: It’s a special Sunnydale eclipse. Just go with that.

Sweeney: This whole bit in here is just a lot of back and forth between their respective planning sessions with snippets of sort-of important stuff and occasionally amusing dialogue, like the mayor telling his minions that snacking is prohibited. Willow and Oz are on chemistry experiment duty and Giles has to stock up on weapons. We end this interlude with the Mayor telling his minions to watch the swearing.

Xander pulls Harmony out of a classroom, and Willow goes to get Percy. They’re recruiting popular kids, clearly. Wesley and Cordelia are working in the library and he tells her that he’ll have to go back to England after this is over, because Buffy isn’t working for the Council any longer. They dance around it until eventually they start making out and it’s even more awkward than the avoidance. They break apart and she wishes him luck in England.

K: It’s about as awkward as this:

Lor: (1) Probably not unbelievably but that’s the third time we’ve used that gif here on SS. Apparently, I’m keeping count. (2) Props to both actors for a truly uncomfortable scene. Cordelia’s little nose wipe is fantastic.

Sweeney: Outside, Willow and Oz are loading up a shopping cart of fertilizer with Jonathan and Larry. After they go off, Willow and Oz stay in the van have an adorable little moment where they discuss their nerves. He assures her that they are going to make it through this. She asks if he’s sure. “Well I sound pretty sure, don’t I?” he asks. She agrees, and he continues, “Well then I must be sure.”  She asks if that’s just a comforting way of not asking the question and then they make out, which is the actual comforting way of not answering a question.

Back in the library, we have broodier pre-war couple moment, with Buffy and Angel. She’s anxious and trying to focus on the war business and he tells her that he’s not going to say goodbye, which would be a dick move, but as the season’s worth of back-and-forth confirms, he’s probably right when he says it’s just too much. For either one of them. SMG does her crazy wide-eyed feels/shock thing.

Sorry, guys, as much as I love Buffy and will defend her over everyone 99% of the time, I am confused by people who leave comments about what a great actress she is. She gets better, and has her highlights, but…

Angel leaves and we see Buffy unwrap the cloth she has wrapped around the thing she had to get. We see that it is Faith’s bloody murdery knife. Bloody murdery knives are great segue points. Have at it, Lor.

Lor: Pomp and Circumstance plays as the senior class of Sunnydale High files in.

K: I get horribly confused for a minute because I know that as Land of Hope and Glory, while Pomp and Circumstance is the overall series of five marches. #musicnerd I get doubly confused because HOW THE HELL ARE THE STUDENTS ARRANGED?? Willow Rosenberg and Buffy Summers are sitting next to each other near the front, while Xander Harris and Cordelia Chase are sitting together further back. Sunnydale, your understanding of the alphabet hurts my brain. 

Lor:  It’s commonly just referred to as Pomp and Circumstance in the US. We could call things by their proper names but, ain’t nobody got time for that.

Snyder takes the mic and is exceptionally Snyder-ish as he tells them all to celebrate by sitting and shutting up.

Sweeney: AWW, SNYDER. Sorry, guys, I totes have my graduation goggles on.

Lor: He also takes a moment to tell Xander to spit out his gum and some unspecified student to see him after graduation. He then introduces Mayor Wilkins who takes the mic to make the commencement speech. He mentions that it is Sunnydale’s centennial anniversary.  Buffy notes, with a hilarious look of horror, that he is truly going to give his entire speech. “Man, just ascend already,” says Willow. Presh.

Sweeney: “Evil,” adds Buffy. RIGHT? HORROR. He’s the actual worst villain ever. Or best villain. You know what I mean.

K: Agreed. Best villain ever. Besides Loki #TeamHiddles

Lor: The Mayor takes a moment to get emotional about people who should’ve been there but aren’t. Otherwise, I’ll admit I find his speech pretty unremarkable, but bonus points for managing to say, “ascend” during it.

Mid-speech, the eclipse happens and the Mayor starts to convulse in pain. He tries to finish, but alas. It is ascension time. He transforms into a big, lizardy thing with a long neck. Like a demon brontosaurus. Kind of. (K: I’ve always thought it was a giant snake, on account of it allowed them to reuse the terrible special effects they used for Lurconis back in Band Candy…) The adults seated behind the graduating class all start running for their lives, which fair, but also hilarious considering that all those self-thinkers have now abandoned their children. They’ve nearly graduated; it’s time to face the real world and also demons.

Sweeney: A+

Lor: The graduates all stand their ground and on Buffy’s signal, they rip off their robes and reveal they are all armed with weapons that include crosses and flame throwers. I love this. The moment during The Prom when the class recognizes Buffy was such an excellent lead up to this moment. Yes, things are weird in Sunnydale and here they all are, working together to handle a baddie. I love it. I said that.

Sweeney: I LOVE IT SO HARD. Finale win. I love so much about this episode, but this is far away the best thing about it. It’s just so awesome. I love how well it contributes to the overall empowerment theme that runs throughout the series. Yes, Buffy is the slayer, and she leads them, but they are all capable (to varying degrees…) of defending themselves, and that’s important.

K: A+ to everything.

Lor: Xander’s role as key man is revealed here to be commanding the troops. He calls out for the front line flame throwers to fire. Then, a first wave of arrows are shot. Despite all this, the Mayor gets a student and chows down. It seems that a couple of students panic and start to run, but they run straight into a group of the Mayor’s minion-vamps. Oz sees this and calls out to Xander who gives the order to the bowmen to fire. They shoot flaming arrows which give us cool effect (in so much as BtVS is capable of) of flamed dustings.

Buffy orders a fall back and we cut to where the minion-vamps are running away, but run straight into a badass looking Angel with a group of students and Wesley. They move on the vamps and Wesley is immediately knocked out. Nice try, Wesley.

Larry, who is carrying a flame thrower, is hit by the Brontosaurus Mayor’s tail. I think he is dead. I’m sorry Larry. Goodbye.

Snyder snyders at the Brontosaurus Mayor that this is not orderly and he demands silence, so the Mayor eats him. Goodbye, Snyder. You provided some classic moments but your main mistake was becoming principal of Sunnydale High.

K: He really should have learnt from Principal Flutie’s fate. Being principal of Sunnydale = inevitably getting eaten.

Lor: Buffy yells again for them all to fall back and Xander says it’s time for hand to hand combat. We cut back to Angel, and although I generally get all flail-like over the fight sequences, I think this is the real first time I’ve ever truly gotten all, “WELL HELLO STUNT DOUBLE.” He’s taller and leaner than David Boreanaz. Anyways, he’s kicking ass. A vamp orders the others to get the students, but the students instead charge at them with stakes and other weapons. We see a vampire grab and bite Harmony. Sorry Harmony! I’m not sure if she’s dead but goodbye just in case!

Sweeney: LOL.

Lor: That was an, “I see the future” laugh. I’m ignoring it.

Cordelia stakes a vampire, I think for the first time ever. She got a kill-assist in Homecoming, and she bit a vampire in season 1, but I think this is her first stake. Nice work. Wesley is useless some more. Go away.

Buffy calls out to the Brontosaurus Mayor and shows him Faith’s knife. She tells him how she took it from her and then slid it into her, like butter. She taunts the Mayor further by saying if he wants the knife back, he’s going to have to come and get it. She takes off into the school and the Mayor gives chase. He busts into the school as Buffy books into into the library, hops right over the railings and out of a window. The Mayor notices that the library is full of explosives. “Well gosh,” he says and outside Giles detonates the explosives. Boom, goes Sunnydale High, as the fighting outside halts and they all watch their school explode. Goodbye Mayor. You were an excellent villain and big highlight of season 3.

Sweeney: Indeed. You’ll be missed, sir. Also, I just love all of your goodbyes.

K: Me too. Especially seeing as I can see the future… 

Lor: Cheaters.

Aftermath: Wesley is being wheeled into an ambulance, complaining the whole way. Shush, Wesley.

Buffy walks with Xander and he notes that they got off pretty easy, considering. I agree. Buffy’s a little distracted, looking around and Xander knows what she’s looking for. Who she’s looking for. Xander notes that Angel survived all the fighting so that perhaps he left right after. Xander leaves and Giles approaches. Giles asks if she’s alright and she says she’s tired and her brain isn’t working right. At the moment, all she can process is “fire bad, tree pretty.”

Sweeney: Another memorable quote from a typically adorable Buffy/Giles scene.

K: I use “fire bad, tree pretty” more than I should in real life. 

Lor: He says he saved something from the wreckage and pulls the most adorable piece of contrivance ever – her diploma. She graduated, and thanks to the line in part 1, where she told Wesley as much, it’s a significant moment. And it is Giles, who has educated her in so many ways, who makes it “official.”

Sweeney: LOVE.

K: 1430, Whedon. 1430.

Lor: Giles goes on about all the irony of this finale but Buffy’s like, “DUDE. Fire bad, tree pretty.” Giles gets the point and scampers off. I will just say that I love that they blew up the school and how that ties back to Buffy pre-Sunndale.

Anyhow, she turns and catches sight of Angel standing in the smoke. They stare at each other for a long while, teary, and saying a silent goodbye. After their moment, Angel turns on his heel and walks away.

This final Angel moment beautifully illustrates what I love and hate about Bangel. Loved: it was nicely acted and full of feels. Hated: Angel tortures Buffy by telling her he isn’t going to say goodbye and then inspires even more feels when he shows up to say goodbye. He never shits or gets off the pot. HE SHITS WHILE GETTING OFF THE POT. Sorry, Sweeney. I am happy we’ll get to follow him on his own show and he had many lovely moments. Goodbye, Angel.

Sweeney: I DON’T LOVE THIS GOODBYE. 🙁

K: I’m laughing hysterically/being grossed out thanks to Lor’s “he shits while getting off the pot” analogy. Meanwhile, Team Heartless Cow is shooing Angel off into the smoke. Adios, Broodzilla. 

Lor: Willow, Oz and Xander are sitting and looking at the wreckage. Cordelia walks up and says that was totally un-fun fun. Willow says kicking demon ass wasn’t bad at all. Buffy joins them and repeats again that she’s tired and would like to be woken up when it’s time to start college. Oz tells them to take a moment to appreciate the fact that they survived. Buffy thinks he means the battle, but he clarifies: they survived high school. There were casualties and many near end of the worlds. There were multiple principals. Teachers died. Counselors died. There was lots of damage to the school and all said and done, the school didn’t survive. But they did.

They sit and drink it in for a moment, but just a moment, before they all turn and leave.

The last thing we see is a Sunnydale yearbook, slightly burned. The front cover reads, “The Future is Ours.”

Sweeney: It’s such a perfect end to the season and their high school careers. I haven’t thought about it enough to give a definitive ranking, but of all the many high school graduation episodes I have scene across TV shows, I’m certain this makes my top 3, if not #1.

Also, the “Grrr, Arrg” monster has a graduation cap today.

K: And really, what more can you want?!

Lor: See you all in season 4!

 

Next time on Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Buffy struggles to find her place at UC-Sunnydale. I’m guessing there isn’t a Slayers Club. Find out how the gang deals in S04 E01 – The Freshman.