Previously: Joss Whedon continued to make frustrating choices with Buffy’s sex life and the snark ladies were not impressed. Everyone capslocked because Spike returned. Also, the episode ended.
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Fear Itself
Sweeney: Halloween! Huzzah! This isn’t the best Halloween episode of the series, but it’s one of the few watchable episodes in this abysmal season, something I am going to complain about at the beginning of every single post so get used to it.
K: I’m going to argue that it IS the best Halloween episode of the series, because we’ve already established that Soldier Xander annoys the crap out of me, and the Halloween episode in season 6 is kind of lame. But that might just be because I like to be contrary.
Sweeney: I can’t even fault that episode for giving us soldier Xander; I LOVE IT SO MUCH. I also hate the first 15-20 minutes of this episode and that kind of taints the excellence of the rest for me.
The episode begins with in Xander’s basement as he is lamenting his pumpkin carving skills to Willow and Oz. They ask Buffy about it and she broods about pumpkins having their guts ripped out, much like her and her recent boy drama that I hate Joss Whedon for making happen.
There had been talk of going to a frat party that has a haunted house that you have to go through in order to reach the party. I give that whole concept an A+ except for the fact that they live on a Hellmouth and that can’t be a good idea.
K: A+.
Sweeney: Oz says that this frat usually throws good parties, so they should go.
More frat party chat and Buffy is done for the night because she’s got a lot of brooding to do, I guess to make up for the fact that Angel’s not in Sunnydale? Was there some sort of quota to fill? As she walks down the randomly empty mainstreet a demon jumps out and she punches him. Unfortunately, said demon gets up and removes his mask to reveal that he is totes not a demon. Womp. Totes Not A Demon calls her crazy and runs off. Being called crazy only fuels her brooding because of reasons that don’t make sense. Roll credits.
K: “What the hell’s wrong with you, lady?” Oh, I don’t know. Here I was walking quietly down a deserted street in the middle of the night when some asshat in a mask thought he’d scare the pretty girl for shits and giggles. Dude was asking for a punch in the face. Or at least a dose of pepper spray. And I’m pretty sure if Buff were at full Slayer power she’d be punning right about now.
Lorraine: Absolutely agreed and my notes basically said, “YOU’RE MY PROBLEM.” I hate that punning is the first thing to go when Buffy has the sads. Punning would make you happy again, B!
Sweeney: True story! That’s definitely what this scene was missing.
The next day, Willow is telling Buffy that she’s plateaued with her magic skillz as they get food at the cafeteria. Buffy misunderstood this as “share my pain” woes when it was meant to be “encourage me” woe-sharing. Oz walks up to add that he’s really anxious about Willow and magic. He says he’ll support her regardless, but he also thinks that she needs to be careful. Spoiler that I’m not worried about being a spoiler because HELLO, OBVIOUS: HE’S RIGHT, GIRL. LISTEN TO HIM.
K: Seriously. I’m also gonna stop and LOL because Willow says “What is college for if not experimenting?” #foreshadowing
Sweeney: Buffy spots Parker laughing with friends and gets another massive wave of feels. She stammers that she forgot to be hungry and runs off without her food. Willow follows like a good best friend. She doesn’t want Parker to chase her off, but Buffy says she’s taking a break from dealing. I feel you girl, I take breaks from dealing most of the time.
Lor: I think, more accurately then, we should say we occasionally take breaks from not dealing.
Sweeney: Probably more accurate, yes. I don’t want to do that, but that’s a more accurate description. Willow suggests that Buffy will feel better at the party and maybe meet someone, but Buffy’s having none of that, which is totally fair. Plus, Buffy might be patrolling instead of partying anyway, even though Halloween is supposed to be demon down time.
Buffy goes to see Giles, who is wearing a sombrero and looking ridiculous.
K: I love him so much.
Lor: This is such great development for my lovely Giles. A reader pointed it out in the comments, but he says it here himself: he hasn’t had time to do much because of his Watcher duties. He’s really enjoying his down time, and I love it.
Sweeney: He has also decked out his place for Halloween and Buffy is totes confused. He gets wicked excited about this electronic dangling Frankenstein. Giles, I am the same way when I go to Target before Halloween. IT’S MY FAVORITE. I JUST WANT TO BUY ALL THE CRAZY MOTION ACTIVATED THINGS.
Anyway, Buffy went to Giles in search of encouragement that patrolling is needed, but she can’t have a serious conversation with him and his awesome tassel-covered sombrero. He’s not helping, though, because he reminds her of how “crass” demons find it. NGL, very few of the demons we have met seem like they take themselves that seriously. There have been a few, sure, but most of the vampires seem like they’d be totally game for the party.
Lor: I will never stop being annoyed at characters for saying shit like, “it should be fine!” “nothing supernatural to see here…” etc. HELL. MOTHER. FREAKIN. MOUTH.
Sweeney: POWER RANGER TIME! Guys, the black power ranger is in this episode!
Lor:
Sweeney: BEST.
He’s a frat boy, as we can easily deduce by the fact that he’s talking to two other guys that we’ve never met as they put up decorations. He’s also a fucking idiot, because he found a totes awesome creepy thing to paint on the floor upstairs, which he holds up and the camera pans in on. Cameramen have about an 80% accuracy rating in using their zoomy powers to do our detective work for us. The other 20% is either failure or false leads. I like our odds though.
K: Man, when will idiots learn not to take symbols from books about the occult and use them as decoration? The same thing happened in Supernatural season 2.
Sweeney: Back in Xander’s basement Anya shows up to confront Xander about not calling her after she insisted she was over him. She only said that because she thought that’s what he wanted to hear. Xander says that he tends to accept the words that people say and Anya says that’s stupid and I should have just included the full conversation because it’s precious.
He’s glad she’s there, though. She wants to go out tonight, but he’s got plans with the Scoobies. Anya then makes her presence a little less welcome by doing her not-understanding-human-interaction thing, pointing out that she doesn’t understand how he’s still friends with them, what with them all going off to college and not living at home and therefore not having anything in common with him. OUCH. She apologizes because Anya Bot didn’t mean to be rude, she just doesn’t get it. Xander changes the subject by inviting her to the party, which Anya agrees to so long as it counts as a date. She’s a little annoyed by having to come up with a scary costume, though.
Buffy goes to see Professor Walsh about the day’s assignments. Professor Walsh tells Buffy to get her shit together and leaves without giving her the assignment. Riley makes small talk with Buffy about how Walsh is srsbsns and Buffy’s work has taken a downturn. He gives her the assignment, but when she says she’ll do it tonight, he gives her a pep talk about not making things hard on herself and how she should totes go party. She thanks him and leaves, so we can get a shot of him staring after her.
K: UGH. Stupid Riley…
Sweeney: Upstairs in the frat house of stupidity, some random guy is painting the Bad Idea design on the floor as Xander and Oz come in carrying speakers for the party. Oz informs them that Xander’s a “civilian” and they crack jokes that pour salt in his wound. Speaking of wounds, Oz decides the speakers need to be tweaked so he takes out a pocket knife to cut the wire, but cuts himself in the process. He walks over the Bad Idea design while shaking his bleeding hand. Blood hits the ground and the Bad Idea drawing does the wavy thing that they did to Angel’s face. A fake spider comes to life and EW. SPIDERS.
Lor: Also, EW splattering your blood everywhere. Contain that, yo.
Sweeney: Elsewhere, our favorite negligent parent is sewing what turns out to be an old Little Red Riding Hood cape that she’s modifying for Buffy to wear tonight. Joyce gets all sweet with old Halloween memories, in which we make the current Buffy Brood really heavy handed by adding a splash of daddy issues. Before you all rage out at me for this: My frustration is not with Buffy having feelings about what Parker did to her or with her having abandonment issues. I do, however, hate the way that whole plot was handled and I hate it even more now that the abandonment thing, which is a separate legit issue, is being used as fodder for this current state of brood. </rant>
K: Agreed. Adding a dose of parental abandonment on top of her “My boyfriend left me and I have to take over his busy brooding schedule, especially seeing as my rebound guy turned out to be an asshat” is just plain dumb. Do not approve, Whedon.
Lor: I feel the need to clarify, also, because of some of the comments we got on the last post. Clearly we feel for Buffy and we root for her, but yes, we understand that bad things have to happen to her. A story with no problems isn’t much of a story at all. While I don’t particularly like the Parker development, I see why it was a good teenage-problem to give Buffy. I also give her leave to feel her feels, but I don’t think they are doing a good job communicating the depth of those feelings. I don’t like that this is tied to sex, because of her past with it. I don’t like that the way she’s dealing with this all feels more like character regression and not development.
Thanks my $0.02.
Sweeney: YES.
Joyce then gives a really great mother speech about her hard she has found it to meet people since moving to Sunnydale and her own trust issues. It ends, however, with an item that absolutely makes the Things You Shouldn’t Say in Sunnydale list: “You’ve got nothing to be afraid of.” WOMP. You meant well, Joyce. I’ll even give you a Sandy Cohen eyebrow for this scene.
Back in the dorm, Willow is on the phone as she puts on her totes amazing Joan of Arc costume, because she’s the greatest. She’s talking about how they’ll make Buffy have fun. In the halls, a couple is fighting and it’s funny because they have ridiculous costumes, you see.
In the Frat House of Bad Ideas, the party is raging and a frat guy is carrying out a plan he mentioned earlier – blindfold girls and put their hands in a bowl of peeled grapes, telling them it’s eyeballs. Is this meant to get them laid? If so, how? The girl is laughing, but then she takes off the blindfold and IT’S ACTUAL EYEBALLS.
K: We played that “It’s guts/eyeballs/whatever” game at a Halloween party when I was about seven. Does that say something about the maturity level of frat boys?
Sweeney: Outside, Xander is in a tux and he asks Buffy what’s in her basket. Weapons, obvi. Xander is going as Bond, on the off chance that they get turned into their costumes again, which makes me giggle. I like you, S4 Xander. (L: +1) They see Willow who hilariously jokes that she felt she has a lot in common with Joan of Arc, having almost been burned at the stake. Joan also had a close relationship with God; Oz opens his jacket to reveal a nametag that says “GOD.” In spite of the fact that Seth Green is like half a foot shorter than me, my high school self would have been so in love with him.
K: I love the crap out of Seth Green even now, despite his extreme tininess. Also, it feels appropriate that us covering Oz’s somewhat blasphemous Halloween costume falls just before Easter.
Lor: I’ll have to tell another Bible story soon to make up for this.
Sweeney: This got serious non-public laughter from me. 1430, Lor. 1430.
The military guys we saw at the end of the last episode appear and ominous music plays. Nobody knows what they’re supposed to be, exactly, and the moment passes. Xander mentions that Anya will be joining them, which ups the Buffy Brood because of all the couples. Willow assures her that they’ll have the best time.
This is how we segue magic to the party, which is clearly NOT the best time, with people screaming and all sorts of genuine terror and death, with strobe lights and doors slamming shut on their own. Then a maybe dead girl maybe comes back to life? The frat guy from before (the eyeballs) falls down the stairs and maybe dies and also maybe comes back to life? For supposedly knowing the future, I don’t really know what’s going on in this episode.
The Scoobies go inside and are largely not impressed by all the the kitschy decorations, until a knife-wielding skeleton pops out and scares Xander and an actual spider lands on Willow, which, again: EW. SPIDERS. Stop it.
Lor: Sorry, can’t help it. Spiders remind me of Ron Weasley:
Sweeney: You’re on a roll. 100 points to Gryffindor.
They go to another room and there is blood on the ground which Buffy touches (UNSANITARY, GIRL) and smells (EW) to confirm that it is real blood. Then they hear a squeaking noise which turns out to be a shit ton of bats on the ceiling. Bats descend, the gang ducks, bats disappear. But then they are made of rubber, which is, of course, totes weird. Xander tries to explain this away until they hear a loud demonic voice saying something I can’t understand.
K: It’s saying “Release me”, but it’s really low and kind of dragged out, so it’s more like “Releeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaase meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee”.
Sweeney: Thank you for the clarification. Outside, BUNNY FEET ARE APPROACHING. In Anya’s most memorable moment of the entire series, she has chosen to come to the party dressed in a totally awesome Bunny costume. It reminds me of our friend Shelly who owns a costume like this, because she is also an awesome human being, though otherwise almost entirely unlike Anya, in that she is not a former vengeance demon.
Bunny Anya struts up to the house in her awesome costume and notices the door conspicuously missing. She goes around the outside, looking for a way in. Upstairs, she sees a girl pounding and screaming and watches the window vanish. She immediately gets worried for Xander’s sake, because she’s cute.
K: I think my favourite part is watching her run off in her giant bunny feet, which bears a striking resemblance to walking around in flippers.
Sweeney: Inside, the Scoobies are trying to get out and have noticed the door is missing. Oz thankfully kills the speakers so we stop hearing the fake scary noises and can focus on the real ones. Xander says some stuff that the gang doesn’t acknowledge. One of those scary noises turns out to be not scary when we open the closet door and find the guy who painted the Bad Idea drawing rocking back and forth. “It’s alive,” he says, as we cut to the popping out skeleton coming to life. They try to get him to say what is alive, just as the skeleton appears and actually stabs Buffy in the back.
She hits the skeleton and it falls to the ground, once again fake and plastic. Then the closet door closes and disappears. Buffy goes to her basket of weapons and tells the gang that they need to get out and go to the only person who can make sense of what’s going on.
Segue magic to Giles, in his tasseled sombrero, sitting in his apartment alone, eating his giant bowl of candy. He gets really excited when there is a knock on the door. It turns out to be Anya, worried because Xander is trapped and so are the others but OMG SAVE XANDER. Says Anya, not me, to be clear. Giles goes to the books, but tells Anya not to worry, as Xander is among friends.
In the Frat House of Bad Ideas, said friends are bickering. It’s an old refrain about Buffy needing them gone to do her job. Willow says it’s not her decision. At this point, this is one of those, “I will be really angry if magic is not causing this,” moments.
Xander is ignored again. Willow is mad at Buffy for trying to be the boss. Willow has a potential magic solution involving conjuring emissaries from the beyond, which sounds like the sort of shit Willow should not be messing with. Buffy low blows about Willow not being that reliable with her magic.
K: Willow’s response (“Oh yeah? Well…SO’S YOUR FACE!”) is my brother’s standard response to anything.
Lor: I prefer the old stand-by, “in your pants.” IN YOUR PANTS IS 50/50.
Sweeney: Willow storms off and Oz follows. Xander tries to console Buffy as she gets her weapons ready. Then she looks around and starts calling out to Xander. I will say that while I was pointing out all of his being ignored, this was actually quite subtly handled. He was sort of on the outskirts of all previous “formations” and most of his comments didn’t really require a response. Anyway, Xander doesn’t realize that she can’t see him and is super confused, as she walks off.
For reasons that don’t make immediate sense (The Great Contrivance Spirit?) Xander doesn’t follow right away and they get separated. Elsewhere in the house, Willow is grumbling about Buffy. As she storms up some stairs, Oz looks down and sees that his hands are wolfy. He’s starting to change and tells Willow to go away, though it’s sort of drawn out, as his magic-house-induced transformation is way slower than the usual one. He changes some more, swats her hand, making her bleed, and runs off.
Xander finds a mirror, and is relieved to still have a reflection. A decapitated head that we saw earlier can also see Xander, so he runs, because EW. Oz is sitting in a bathtub, trying to will himself not to change. Buffy is walking around with her crossbow.
Willow is sitting on a card table saying her incantation, which produces a little light that looks like a firefly. She tells it to lead her to Oz, then she gets confused because maybe she wants to go the people upstairs. As she tries to decide what to do, the little firefly divides into a bajillion little fireflies. She panics.
K: I don’t blame her. There were very similar little green bug things in an episode of The X-Files, and they cocooned people alive and sucked out all their bodily fluids.
Sweeney: EW. Buffy hears Willow’s mumbled cries for help and smashes her way through a door, only to fall into a mega creepy basement. As she comes to, a creepy probably dead guy (from before, with the stairs?) (L: Yep. Broken neck and all.) tells her that she’s all alone because everybody left her. He repeats her opening-your-heart speech from before, but assures her that she’s no longer alone, as hands pop up from the ground and grab her.
Outside, Giles is looking at the door-less wall and his book. They are going to have to create a door. Anya wants to know if he can do that. Yes, he can, because he has a chainsaw with him. I always bring chainsaws with me places.
K: I’m gonna give the contrivance a pass, because GILES IS A BAMF. Also, I feel like a chainsaw would be much more effective than a stake/crossbow. Buffy should really get on that.
Lor: Yeah, I’m not sure it’s contrivance, per se as Anya did mention the no doors thing. Mostly, GILES WITH A CHAINSAW.
Sweeney: I am absolutely in favor of more scenes in which Giles has a chainsaw.
Down in the terrifying basement, there are loads of zombies and Buffy manages to flee into a tiny Alice in Wonderland-style door. On the other side of the door she is magically upstairs, in the attic where the scary stuff was painted. Oz is sitting on a couch, still curled up and shaking. Willow is running around swatting at nothing. Oz realizes he’s not a werewolf and hugs her so she calms down.
Across the room, Xander is also sitting in a corner muttering about he’d try to help them, but nobody will listen anyway. Buffy talks to him and asks what the hell he’s babbling about. He’s really relieved and so is Willow. Oz notes that the house separated them and Buffy adds that they were brought there — they were all so scared that they ended up there.
The big question is why, which we are probably about to answer. Xander finds the book that the Bad Idea drawing was copied out of. Willow tries to figure out what it says as the house continues to make terrifying garbling noises. Willow discerns that the mark is supposed to help manifest a demon that feeds on fear. Buffy notes that their fears are manifesting themselves and they need to stop that being scared shit. Because LOL Buffy would be the one to be all, “JUST, YOU KNOW, STOP BEING SCARED.”
Then Giles appears with his chainsaw because he’s awesome. CHAINSAW GILES, GUYS. I love him. Bunny Anya is with him. Giles goes through the book and is all, “Oh yeah, of course, this guy!” He starts to read about the two ways you can destroy the demon. “Destroying the mark of Gachnar…” and Buffy punches the floor before he finishes, “is not one of them and will actually summon the fear demon itself.“ Dude, who writes these books? Come on now. I blame this on either the magic book writer or Giles reading out loud, not floor-punching Buffy.
K: Agreed. Surely Giles would read what it said, then summarise it for the others rather than reading it verbatim??
Sweeney: Intense light emerges from the floor where Buffy punched it. More loud noises and we get a big show of Gachnar emerging from the ground, only to pan out and see that he’s about the size of a Barbie doll. Everyone’s all LOL is this really happening? Gachnar tries to say some menacing stuff and Xander mocks him. Giles makes him stop because it’s tacky (K: LOL FOREVER) and tells Buffy that she still has to slay him. Gachnar says they’re all going to abandon her and she’s all LOL WHATEVER and steps on him. Tiny demon slayed. C WUT SHE DID THAR? She squashed her fears.
Back at Giles’ place, they are pigging out in his quality chocolate selection. Buffy utters one of the many unofficial Snark Squad mottoes, “There’s no problem that can’t be solved by chocolate.” Xander asks Anya why she chose the bunny as her scary costume. “Bunnies frighten me.” Oh, Anya.
Giles is all “SRSLY?” and brings his book over to Buffy, telling her that the Gaelic inscription under the illustration translates to, “Actual size.” WOMP.
I could do without the first 15 minutes or so, but this episode was fun.
Lor: Agreed. It reminded me a lot of one of my favorite Buffy episodes to date, Nightmares, also known as when I officially fell in love with the series. It’s interesting to note how their fears have changed since then. Buffy’s is the only one that is still based on the same abandonment concept.
Definitely the best episode of season 4 so far!
Sweeney: I still hate this season.
K: So do we all, Sweeney. Meet you at the bar.
Next time on Buffy the Vampire Slayer: A Buffy-style PSA that will probably make us all want to drink anyways in S03 E05 – Beer Bad.
Nicole is the co-captain of Snark Squad and these days she spends most of her time editing podcasts. She spends too much time on Twitter and very occasionally vlogs and blogs. In her day job she's a producer, editor, director, and sometimes host of educational YouTube channels. She loves travel, maps, panda gifs, and semicolons. Writing biographies stresses her out; she crowd sourced this one years ago and has been using a version of it ever since. She would like to thank Twitter for their help.
I'm a 30-something librarian and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. Leader of Team Heartless Cow. I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and read more than is good for me.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
