Angel S01 E07 – Whedon Hat Trick

Previously: Angel helped Kate track down a mobster, because Traumaland only features terrible police departments. Then he is literally beaten with a feelings stick.
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Bachelor Party

Sweeney: Angel is reading and Doyle is pestering him. I hate when people try to talk to me when I’m reading. LISTEN, I AM PERFECTLY CONTENT TO SPEND MY NIGHT READING AND I’D BE A LOT MORE CONTENT IF YOU’D SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE. Sorry. Pet peeve.

Lorraine: GOD YES. I’m not sitting here with a book open waiting for anyone to come talk to me. I’M READING.

K: SERIOUSLY. Why do people do this? Related point: why do my parents tell me to shut up if I ask them a simple yes/no question while they’re watching TV, but they consider me watching TV to be the best possible time to engage me in an hour long conversation about the meaning of life? SIGH. 

Sweeney: Doyle is bummed because he wants to go out for non-demon excitement. That’s Cordelia’s cue to enternounce that she’s going out with a rich guy, and being picked up at the office, courtesy of The Great Contrivance Spirit. I guess accepting that characters must congregate frequently at questionably plausible locations is sort of a core suspension-of-disbelief thing that I need to get over. One day. Rich Guy shows up and there’s a brief awkward moment in which Cordelia tries to shoo him out the door and Angel insists that she introduce him, mostly to set up Doyle’s unrequited love moping after she goes. Also, another mention of how she’d never love him if she knew he was a demon which makes me hope that maybe we’ll settle that this episode.

K: Mostly this is funny to me because it’s like Angel’s her father and grilling the guy she’s dating to make sure he’s good enough to date his little girl. He even asks what time they’ll be back.

Sweeney: Doyle picks up a book and out falls a picture of Buffy that was being used as a bookmark or something, which is a little weird, and probably not a good way to get over your feels. Except he’s probably so fucking terrified of getting over his feels that maybe that’s the point. IDK. Doyle makes comments about her hotness before picking up on the increased brood-factor and realizing that it’s Buffy. This chat is interrupted by a migraine premonition about a guy who is going to be eaten by a gang of vampires somewhere in LA. Roll credits.

Cordelia is on her date and bored out of her mind as the guy talks about his brilliant success in agriculture markets. As he’s bragging about how much he’s sold, he asks if she can imagine anything more exciting, so we can segue magic to Angel and Doyle fighting vampires. They fight and Doyle demons out briefly before shaking it off. As they take the not-dead guy home, Angel asks why Doyle doesn’t fight as a demon, since he’s stronger that way. Doyle evades the question.

Lor: I admit I’m finding it hard to accept/understand Doyle’s demon half. I think they haven’t told us much about it because they don’t have a clue what’s going on either.

K: Entirely possible. Sometimes I think Whedon just makes stuff up as he goes along. See: SUNLIGHT. 

Swneeney: STOP IT. (But also, yes, probably true.)

They are clearly being stalked by a guy who looks like a slightly shorter vampire version of Khal Drogo. Vamp Drogo follows Doyle back to the office and Doyle hides just as Cordelia arrives with her date. She had him bring her back there, early, because of the boredom and also her car is there.

Vamp Drogo attacks Cordelia and her date flees. Doyle emerges from the shadows and threatens the guy with a crossbow, though Cordy’s in the way, so his best shot is at the guy’s foot. This is apparently enough to get him to let go of Cordelia and go after Doyle. They fight and I’m thinking he’ll have to demon out, but it’s still too early in the episode for that, so he manages to get his hands on the arrow and stake the vampire. Still gasping for breath, he asks Cordelia if she’s all right.

Lor: I’m a little sad he had to die so quickly; Vamp Drogo was a great nickname.

Sweeney: RIP, Vamp Drogo. Your nickname will be missed.

In Angel’s office the next day, she’s lamenting the fact that she couldn’t properly appreciate a guy who could buy her Tiffany’s for life because she now tragically wants to date men who are brave and interesting. Angel and Doyle are totally at fault for this tragedy of human growth. I squee a little as Angel listens to this and encourages Cordelia’s potential growth and interest in Doyle, though she unfortunately compares him to Xander and uses that as her basic reason that she refuses to date him.

K: Part of me is all “Clearly, you need to go back to Sunnydale and see Xander NOW, then maybe you’ll reconsider!!”. And then the rest of my brain explodes because season 4 has made me defend Xander Harris. Dear God. What is to become of us?

Sweeney: Madness all around.

She does agree, though, that she needs to at least take Doyle out for coffee to thank him for saving her life. Angel is then confused by how he went from helpful friend to stuck-answering-the-phones. This is your reward.

Doyle is reenacting his heroic moment as Cordelia walks up and he is embarrassed. SQUISH. Cordelia is her usual self and insults him before leading into the sincere thanks. As she starts to ask him out, the moment is ruined by the arrival of an obnoxious curly-haired woman. Cordelia tries to make her leave, but she’s there for Doyle becaaauuuse [dramatic pause] she’s his wife.

K: GASP. Also, Doyle’s name is Francis. LOL. 

Sweeney: Doyle is not happy to see her, as she’s apparently been gallivanting around the world and chose to return right when Cordelia had finally begun to warm to him. Bitch. Their stilted conversation continues and Angel enters. Doyle insists that Angel Investigations is his business, and Angel stops Cordelia from correcting him.

The Obnoxious Wife wants to go talk somewhere private and then the door opens and an annoyingly enthusiastic man comes in because he was so curious he couldn’t just wait in the car. He runs up to Angel and says that he had wanted to meet him and is surprised Obnoxious Wife never said anything about how attractive he is. SHOTS! This is the best drinking game ever. You know, if I was actually drinking while writing these posts. My liver is probably glad that I’m not.

Lor: Seriously. I had no idea when I suggested the first shot that they would be so committed to the whole ANGEL IS HOT FOR REAL thing, and that I was thus dooming all of our livers.

K: I’m pretty sure we could play this drinking game with shots of alco-pops and STILL be wasted by the end of each episode. 

Sweeney: Then I want this guy punched in the mouth because after Angel corrects the guy on who Doyle is, he’s all, “Oh, that’s more like it.” FUCK YOU, SIR. He’s beautiful and Irish and your enthusiasm is annoying and want you and your girlfriend gone from my screen. Also, turns out they aren’t just dating, but engaged.

K: WAIT. WAIT WAIT WAIT. Is this the same actor who played the creepy demon guy in ‘Anne’?? The one who Buffy did her Gandhi impression on?? *runs to IMDB* IT IS. And he’s also in Firefly. WE HAVE A WHEDON HAT TRICK, PEOPLE. Ahem. Mostly, I was going to go with “How can he be engaged to Doyle’s wife when he’s dead and in a hell dimension under LA?”. Carry on…

Sweeney: With that revelation, Angel drags Cordelia out of the room and she sends Annoyingly Enthusiastic Man out of the room. With everyone gone, she tries to be sweet, but he’s still pretty hurt by the abruptness of this news. I was about to call bullshit on this, what with him trying so hard to get with Cordelia, but I imagine that even if you are trying to move on, having it shoved in your face like this would have to cut deep. Anyway, she’s just there to get Doyle to sign divorce papers. He wants to look them over; she says she’ll come back in a couple days to collect them.

K: Surely you’d plan for that a LITTLE more than a few days before your wedding?? But of course, without this trope, countless movies/episodes of television wouldn’t exist. 

Sweeney: That night over drinks in the Brooding Basement, Doyle fills us in on his backstory. They got married when they were 20, which stuns me because I had assumed he was also mega old because all the demons we meet seem to be mega old. Doyle never knew his demon father or about his demon-ness at all until he was 21. His mom never told him and that was when the demon genes first presented themselves. They had apparently been discussing the possibility of kids around the time this fun news cropped up. Rough. But also: 21!? You shouldn’t have been discussing making babies yet. Calm down.

Lor: Maybe he meant “discussing babies” like I sometimes do: Yeah! Sure! …eventually. Probably. Maybe?

K: I feel like 21 year old Doyle needed a sassy gay friend: 

Sweeney: Doyle is looking for confirmation from Angel that Annoyingly Enthusiastic Man is evil and requiring Doyle’s intervention. Except, really, he wants Angel to do it, as it would be inappropriate for him to do it. Angel agrees, but adds that they can’t tell Cordelia or she’ll try to charge him.

That night, Angel is being all Batman, jumping around rooftops in his cape-like coat, stalking the fiance. Fiance definitely appears to be into some shady things that includes hiding a package in a restaurant refrigerator. Later, she returns to the restaurant with a bunch of boxes. Fiance walks away and we see him turn into an ugly red demon and grab a knife.

After the Not Commercial Break, Angel jumps through the window and tackles him, but Soon To Be Ex-Wife, tells Angel to stop. She knew that the guy was a demon. The knife was to cut the box strings and the package contained some questionable delicacies for the restaurant.

Lor: None of this explains why he demoned out at that moment…

K: SERIOUSLY.

Sweeney: More backstory: while she did freak out about the demon thing initially, she eventually came around. She tried to get Doyle to accept his demon self and go meet other demons, but he refused and his anger made him impossible to live with. She went on to become an Ethno-Demonologist, which sounds like the profession of someone Angel might need to contact again in the future. It’s also how she met the fiance.

K: I was convinced that the university I went to for undergrad offered ethnomusicology, which I always thought was a bit wanky (but not nearly as wanky as ethnodemonology, but apparently not. They DO, however, offer a subject called The Anthropology of Witch Hunts, so…yeah. Carry on. Oh wait. Can we talk about the fact that this guy is once again playing a demon?

Sweeney: Back at the Brooding Basement, Angel shares all this info and looks up the totally peaceful kind of demon that the fiance is. Doyle finally accepts that she really did leave because of him and not because he’s a demon. He signs the divorce papers.

The next day when she collects the papers, Doyle has a moment alone with the fiance and Harry (the soon-to-be-ex-wife) is alone with Cordelia. Fiance wants to invite Doyle to his bachelor party and Harry has zero female friends in town so she invites Cordelia to hers. This is all lovely except for the part where it guarantees that Cordelia finds out about Doyle in the worst possible way.

Back with his demon family, Demon Fiance is discussing the bachelor party plans. He has a bunch of brothers and it’s all very bro-y and they discuss drinking and strippers and also ritual-eating-of-the-first-husband’s-brains on the menu. Oh.

K: Well, that’s a definite argument in favour of avoiding divorce.

Sweeney: When Doyle arrives at the bachelor party, Demon Fiance is visibly disappointed that Doyle brought Angel, but he tries to play it off. His brothers are clearly discussing Angel in some sort of demon tongue.

Lor: Rude.

Sweeney: Demon Fiance gets Doyle alone to talk about what Harry was like before he met her, which is just fucking awkward. Back at her party, Harry is telling Cordelia about life with Doyle. This includes Doyle being a third grade teacher which is hilarious. He apparently got his teaching credentials before they even met. THEY GOT MARRIED AT 20 SO HOW!?

Lor: MAGIC.

K: Pretty much what I was going to say.

Sweeney: After Harry’s future mother-in-law calls for Pornographic Pictionary to begin, we jump back to the bachelor party, where Demon Fiance is continuing to make shit horribly uncomfortable for Doyle. This is kind of like when the mayor insisted on giving his speech before ascending. You’re planning to kill him and you still feel the need to do all this first? Fucking rude.

K: A+ and 1430. This shit is insanely awkward. Like, awkward tarantula levels of awkward. (My brother has a hierarchy of awkward)

Sweeney: Fortunately, DF’s brothers drag him away for stripper fun times. Angel comes to see if Doyle is all right. He notices the brothers sneaking into the kitchen, so he follows. It’s a good thing his lurking skills are so great. He witnesses Demon Fiance’s father performing some crazy ritual that involves pouring his blood into a fire.

Angel calls Cordelia and I’m really happy this is my episode because I had to pause for laughter at this awesome LA joke. He asks where she is and her answer is, “In the netherworld known as the 818 area code.” 818 is San Fernando Valley. I grew up on the northern (and therefore extra netherworldy) end of the valley. I can’t imagine anybody else gives any shits about this joke, but it made me laugh, and it’s a legit representation of people in LA and their feelings about having to condescend to enter the valley for anything ever.

K: This basically just makes me think of Clueless. And for that, I thank you.

Sweeney: You’re welcome.

Angel asks to speak to Harry. He wants her to translate something that she insists is from a dead demonic language. She agrees to check the family library. As Angel hangs up, he is confronted by one of the brothers and then they all appear. Angel puts up a good fight, but is ultimately thrown out the window.

Lor: For reasons that are beyond us, because he often takes on whole gaggles of baddies. He just couldn’t this time ’cause the episode isn’t over.

Sweeney: Actually, a thought: I don’t think Angel had his vamp grill on during this fight. I might be wrong and I don’t feel like re-watching and I’m not quite sure why he didn’t. That said, the you-have-to-look-like-a-demon-to-get-full-demon-super-powers thing does seem to be a consistent part of the Angelverse mythology. I don’t think that was ever really established in the Buffyverse, but it seems consistent here and might offer some explanation for this.

But mostly, yeah, it’s just not time yet! We still have a few more minutes of episode to fill.

Downstairs, Doyle finally agrees to give Demon Fiance his blessing. DF announces to everyone that Doyle gives his blessing and consents, which is probably a super important precursor to the brain thing. They lock him in some weird contraption that looks like part of a magic act.

Lor: I am also vaguely reminded of some villain here and I can’t pin point it. It’s part Captain Pike from Star Trek and part Davros from Doctor Who, but I seriously think there is someone else. Someone sitting in a box driving it around with his head, maybe? Or, you know, Snark Lady, imagination, etc.

K: I mostly get Davros vibes. 

Sweeney: Once in there, DF and his brothers demon out. Someone comes up and injects Doyle with something that makes his head go numb. DF says that he doesn’t want Doyle to suffer while they cut into his skull.

Back in the 818, Cordelia and Harry are confused by the translation which amounts to something about ingesting past love. Harry tries to ask the old biddies at the party why Doyle needed to be there. One of them is conveniently bad at lying or discretion and says, “Well they’re certainly not going to eat your ex-husband’s brains…for instance.”

As Harry and Cordelia run out the door we seizure cut to Angel who is still passed out on the ground. Inside, Doyle is wondering where the hell Angel is. Since there is no chance that Doyle will actually die this way, I appreciate the weird campy conversation. This ritual is only performed when the marriage is to a divorcee, so they’re all a bit rusty on the protocol. Demon Dad gets mad at one of the sons for bringing a shrimp fork. (K: And yet it’s totally fine that Demon Fiance is wearing a plastic bib with lobsters on it…) Doyle tries to take back his”blessing” but Demon Fiance’s all NO TAKE BACKS!

Outside, Angel finally wakes up and vamps out, before we seizure cut back to the party and Demon Fiance making the first cut. Right on cue, Angel bursts through the door in a BAMFy moment that I recognize from the credits, because it’s probably his most BAMFy credits moment. During the fighting, Doyle is abandoned and he finally goes demon to break out of the box. I don’t know why he didn’t do that sooner, but whatever.

Lor: And suddenly Angel can take them all on and more. Equal whatever.

K: CONTRIVANCE SHOTS ALL ROUND!! 

Sweeney: During the fighting, Harry and Cordelia burst in. The fighting stops. Cordelia beats up Doyle, in demon form, not realizing who he is. When he gets back up, non-demon, she still doesn’t seem to put it together. Harry confronts Demon Fiance. He apologizes for lying but adds that if he doesn’t perform the ritual, his family will never consent to the marriage. She takes his hands and gives back the ring before walking out.

Back at the office, Cordelia and Angel are discussing Doyle and his feels. She says somebody should go cheer him up. Angel starts to go in there, but she stops him because that’s obviously not his specialty. Cordelia tells Doyle that they already have a Loser Pining Guy in the office and Doyle can’t pull it off quite like Pretty Angel (SHOTS!) so he needs to learn to let it go. Then she adds that nice guys don’t always finish last. He appreciates that she called him nice.

Then Doyle has another migraine premonition which I think is going to cause the Cordelia-finds-out-not-how-I-want-her-to, but instead it’s time to justify the appearance of the Buffy picture from the beginning of the episode. The migraine premonition is of Buffy. Angel asks what happened and we get a dramatic close up of Doyle before end credits roll.

CROSSOVER MAGIC IS COMING! YAY!

 

Next time on Angel: I just told you. Crossover magic is coming in S01 E08 – I Will Remember You.