Angel S01 E17 – That’s so raven.

Previously: The Fang Gang continue to be the best thing about the episodes, as we otherwise bumble through a weird Fight Club-esque plot. But yay Fang Gang!
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Eternity

Lorraine: We start with tight shots of Angel’s and Wesley’s faces alternatively. Denisof really is a handsome man. Boreanaz truly has a prominent brow. The suspenseful music flares up as they realize all the exits are are blocked and they would be spotted right away. Just as Angel suggests shouting fire, we widen the shot to see they are watching Cordelia in a play. Wesley checks his watch: one hour left. Angel: I thought I knew eternity.

K: Punny Angel is punny.

Lor: Roll electric credits.

Afterwards, Cordy is asking for feedback and her dudes are dancing around the, “you suck” thing as best they can with phrases like, “you took the role and made it your own,” and “a night in the theater I’ll never forget.” Thankfully, Cordy has that selectively dense thing going for her and also, from across the street she spots some famous talent manager. She is distracted. Angel remembers him from the party back in episode 1, where he first saw Cordy in LA, because the talent manager gave him a card. BECAUSE ANGEL IS PRETTY. They don’t say that. I guess I was feeling antsy that nobody has mentioned it for a couple episodes now. I had to get it out.

K: SHOTS!!

Sweeney: Yes, we’re reaching, but the show is messing with our drinking game. Rude.

Lor: Let’s be honest: the games are just a way to link together our inevitable drinking.

Talent Manager is with a big actress named Rebecca Lowell, who apparently played a character named Raven in some big TV show. I’m going to call her Raven, mostly because of this:

Cordy is blabbering on about the actress as Angel spots that there is a nefarious looking car parked near by. You can tell because it has… DUN DUN DUN… a bad muffler. Raven strangely decides to randomly cross the street and head towards nothing (?) and the car comes straight for her. Angel runs over to the rescue and pushes Raven out of the way, though he does get hit by the car.

Talent Manager checks on Raven as Cordy and Wesley run over to Angel. Cordy annoys me by asking what Raven was like instead of asking after her boss. Stop it, Cordelia. No character steps backwards, please.

K: I’d argue that it’s less a backwards step and more a “OMG FANGIRL FLAILING SO HARD TRY AND PLAY IT COOL” moment. I once tried to tell one of my favourite authors how much their books meant to me, and instead came out with “I bet your hand gets sore at signings!” Well done, Kirsti. Well done. 

Lor: I’m not sold. I mean, this would be like your friend getting hit by car while saving your favorite author. I mean, granted your friend is a vampire, but… Never mind. Onward.

Raven comes over to ask Angel for his name, but Cordy babbles about how he doesn’t even know who she is. The Talent Manager is all, “SURE YOU DON’T. Have some money.” Instead of being all, “absolutely! Brooding Basements don’t pay their own bills!” he turns down the money. Raven is impressed and wonders if Angel makes a habit of saving people. This whole time, these two are giving each other sex-me-eyes.

Cordy calls Angel “the dark revenger,” (K: Which is not only nonsensical, but prevents us from having Avengers related shots. Sad.) (S: PSH, if we took Pretty! shots for the earlier comment, I think we totally take shots for this one. SHOTS.) before Raven is distracted by a mob of suddenly appearing paparazzi. Raven turns back to say something else to Angel, but he’s gone. I like the idea of him waving goodbye to Wesley and Cordy while Raven’s back was turned and then super running away. Anyways, Cordy gives Raven a calling card and tells her to call for anything she might need. Wesley pulls Cordelia away as we get a shot of Angel’s back.

As I thought more about him being creepy and just leaving in the middle of that, I figure being out and about with all those cameras and such can’t be good for a vampire. Someone might notice something is off. I forgive Angel for being creepy. This time.

We seizure cut through the whole accident into Brooding HQ the next day. Cordy is squealing because her elbow made it into a picture in the newspaper. Angel tells her to settle down – no need to made a big deal about her elbow, and his rescue being in the paper. He isn’t even in the article, though. You can tells he’s put off by this, though he tries to say it’s a good thing they aren’t attached to such a high profile case. Of course Cordy disagrees, and wants to use the story to get more business.

Raven shows up and says she’s glad she beat the new-business-rush. Cordelia is pretty embarrassed and she also calls Wesley an intern and he gives her a hilarious little glare. Related: I want an intern. Maybe the Youth Mauling Bear should start helping us clean out our emails.

K: 1430. I mean, he’s not doing a whole lot at the moment, so surely he could help out around Snark Squad HQ! In addition to helping with emails, he could get rid of the empty bottles, and clean up the tissues from the Corner of Endless Tears.

Sweeney: OMG I WANT AN INTERN. We have trust issues of the highest order and we’d totally be the kind of people to be all, “Here do this,” and then re-do the whole thing ourselves and/or supervise the project beyond the point of reason (aka, the worst kind of intern-boss-people) but I don’t even care I and want one. Someone, quick, appoint yourself Snark Squad intern. We’ll pay you in nothing and blame you for everything we dislike ever.

Lor: I’m just gonna stand back and watch those applications flood in!

Raven wants to talk to Angel so they head into his office. She notes how dark it is and guesses he isn’t fond of sunshine. That’s a funny conclusion to jump to when you walk into a dark room, mostly because you rarely hear people go, “damn it I hate sunshine! Fuck sunshine, man.” UNLESS you know about vampires or if you recap Angel and sometimes still find yourself thinking about how dumb the whole “direct” sunlight thing is even though you are 17 episodes in and should get over it. Fuck sunshine, man.

Sweeney: That’s going on a poster in Snark HQ.

Lor: Youth Mauling Intern can hang it up.

Angel says he’s a night person and Raven says she is too. She asks again if he’s really never seen her show, and offers to give Angel a “private screening” to fix that. He declines, but homegirl is all, “NOT LEAVING” because it’s refreshing to be around someone who doesn’t care that she’s famous.

Angel asks if she’s there for a reason and she pulls out a couple of letters from a crazy fan, written in blood. As she goes on about how they scare her, Angel takes a little sniff and is all, “not blood.” He doesn’t sniff on screen but he does in my head. (K: His nostrils probably flare a little though.) Angel asks if Raven has called the police. HAHAHA. THE POLICE. Funny. No one calls them. He wonders how she knows he won’t just call The Enquirer and feed them the story and the Flutes of Forever Trustworthy Angel flute away as Raven verbally coddles Angel’s hero boner. Despite the lip service, Angel decides to pass up the job.

Later, Cordelia is freaking out about Angel passing up the case. Wesley tries to call her off by saying that it’s clear Angel likes Raven and doesn’t want to get too close. That’s pretty stupid, but HOKAY. We’ll go with that. Still, Cordelia doesn’t shut up and even tries to fake a vision. Angel tells her that Raven is just a person and not that big a deal, but Cordy would give anything to be in that world.

Sweeney: I think the show is trying to deal with the fact that it’s episode 17, and aside from the date-that-didn’t-happen-except-all-my-fucking-feels-did-so-fuck-you-show, he’s been pretty devoid of a love life. This is our friendly reminder that Angel is still afraid of vaginas! Thanks, show!

Lor: 

Cut to Raven getting her eyebrows waxed. The eyebrow-waxer is talking to her about plastic surgery too ’cause being a famous person is hard.

That night, we see a mini-montage of Raven schmoozing around a party. When all the guests are gone, we hear creepy sound effects from outside. Raven goes to investigate and is startled by Angel jumping through her glass door. He likes destroying doors. He’s come in without an invitation because there is a ninja trying to assassinate Raven. IDK what’s happening, really. (K: Right there with you) (S: IDGI, show.) The ninja manages to pull a bookcase down on Angel and run away. Angel stands and Raven starts to ask him if he’s okay, but she’s interrupted by the soundtrack that’s all CRASH-HISS and makes her look to her right where there is a large wall mirror. Angel has no reflection. Raven is freaked out, but her guards knock on the door. She turns her head to the left long enough for Angel to speed run away again.

Later, Raven is telling Talent Manager that she wants to be alone that night, as police officers finish taking pictures of the crime scene. She sends him off to deal with the press and she locks her door.

K: Shame about that glass door Angel smashed to pieces.

Lor: Raven says, “I know you’re still here,” and Angel appears from around the corner all, “YEP! Just lurking.” She’s worked out that he’s a vampire, though he tells her he only drinks non-people blood and doesn’t kill anyone. Raven feels Angel’s face to see if he’s cold and he’s shocked that she isn’t afraid. I bet he’s thinking of Kate, though there is a difference between finding out he’s a vampire because he has no reflection and finding out because he’s vamped out and killing supernatural shit. Anyways, Raven smooth-operators that she doesn’t want to be alone that night.

Big ole shot of the moon turns into the sun and we’re back Brooding HQ. Wesley is telling Cordelia that Angel called early that morning to tell them that he took the Raven case. Wesley expected Cordy to be happy, but instead she’s worried about the whole “spent the night” part. Wesley tells her not to worry, but Cordy was there when Angel lost his soul the first time around and it wasn’t pretty. Wesley starts what I’m going to guess will be the series long mission to unpack the whole “true moment of happiness” and “can Angel have sex” thing. Wesley says that he lost his soul specifically because he was with Buffy. It’s a rare thing, a true moment of happiness. Cordelia looks thoughtful for a moment, but still decides that she should check up on Raven. Mostly for her own personal gain, though. Let’s not get crazy.

Cordy shows up to Raven’s house with some coffee and a gigantic cross. She notices that Angel isn’t evil right away, though, because he’s not wearing Evil Wardrobe. Us Snark Ladies have been totally telling you that’s a thing.

K: I love it when the characters do our job for us.

Sweeney: I view this more as them listening to us. Although, Cordelia (whonamedourblogit’sbeenawhilesinceweremindedyou) is really one of us.

Lor: Raven isn’t home, so Cordelia wants to snoop but Angel won’t let her. He confesses that he told Raven about being a vampire, and Cordy’s all, “cool story bro. LET’S TALK ABOUT ME ME ME ME ME ME ME.”

Seizure cut to Raven being stood up during lunch. She’s later complaining to Angel about having to read for a part and falling out of the limelight. She wants to handle the people out to kill her so she can focus on her acting thing. Also, she has a premiere that night and she wants Angel to go with her.

We’re next at the premiere where Angel gets out of the limo and looks pretty uncomfortable (K: He also has Seeley Booth hair!!) and also there are tons of paparazzi so, yeah, I take back what I said about vampires and pictures. Angel was just creepy-running-away. He helps Raven out of the limo and she gets lots of cheers. Angel follows her out through an alley because she isn’t actually going to stay at the event. Out in the alley, though, some guys starts shooting at Raven. Angel pushes her out of the way and does a jumping-leap up to where the shooter is. It’s like a Mario hop.

He fights off the shooter and knocks him out.

Angel is giving his statement to the police when Talent Manager comes over and asks if Raven is alright. She is, but she’s also pieced together what’s happened. Raven has been very busy piecing things in this episode! Maybe she’s the one who should be detecting the shit out of things! Anyways, she recognized the shooter as a stuntman that Talent Manager represents. He hired him to drum up publicity for Raven. Publicity and like a heart attack possibly, which might be one way to end up on a magazine cover.

Raven didn’t get the new part as it seems that she’s being considered too old looking. Her manager says they are going to have to face that no one stays young forever and Raven spots Angel looking pretty well worn for “26.” Sorry, Boreanaz tends to be attractive (he’s one of those for me that can go either way) but his face does have some city miles on it, is all I’m saying. Raven looks thoughtful as she looks at him. Because between plastic surgery and becoming undead, DUH.

K: And she already mentioned how she likes the dark, so all she has to do is find a show that doesn’t require her to film during daylight and that whole being an evil bloodsucking fiend thing will work out GREAT!!

Sweeney: Aside from the wanting-to-eat-people bit, I don’t know how she plans to make the whole no-sun thing work for her career. Also, the makeup trailer is always filled with mirrors, so, you know. Vampires have some handicaps in the acting business is all I’m saying.

Lor: At Brooding HQ, Wesley comes to report that the shots fired at Raven were blanks, something Angel already figured out on his own and probably could’ve told Wesley before he went through all the trouble. But okay. Angel doesn’t know if Raven knows her stalker is a fake and he doesn’t want to tell her.

Raven has asked Cordelia out for lunch and shopping. Cordelia squeals a lot, and does not notice that this is all a plot to get information on how Angel was turned. Later, Raven comes to visit Angel at Brooding HQ under the guise of bringing him a thank you gift: fancy champagne. Angel tries to break the news about her faux-stalker but she already knows. They follow up that piece of news by linking arms and drinking their champagne. They sip and she purposefully spills her drink on his shirt. When he leaves to change, she pours roofies in his drink.

K: I have to stop here to mention that I will never understand that linked-arms-champagne-drinking thing. I mean, champagne glasses are already awkward enough to drink out of. Why would you make it worse for yourself?! 

Lor: Wesley arrives at Cordelia’s apartment where she confesses that she gave Raven exact, specific details on how to make someone a vampire. Whoops.

I know this comes as a shock, but over at the Brooding Basement, the champagne and roofies are making Angel broody. Raven takes advantage and says that Angel never has to be lonely, ever again. Angel freaks and says Raven has no idea what she’s asking him to do. She insists that she understands, but Angel gives her a big speech about her sucky, low self-esteem. It all culminates with Angel dragging Raven to the kitchen and force feeding her some blood to see if she truly understands. It’s weird to see Angel do something like that, but also a pretty intense moment.

Sweeney: DID NOT APPROVE. Blech.

Lor: Angel realizes somethings wrong with him and guesses that Raven has roofied him with something she calls a “happy pill.” She starts crying that she’s sorry and she just wanted them both to be happy. She pulls away from him after he nips at her neck. We see he’s vamped out and claiming to be perfectly happy.

K: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, ANGELUS!!!!(lite)

Lor: 

Angelus crazies that the roofies have freed him, and that he wants the name of her dealer before he kills her. He’s never killed a famous person and he wants to keep a little souvenir of the occasion. He pushes her about some and she calls him crazy. He’s a vampire is what he is.

He threatens her with long hours of torture and she tries to escape, getting as far as whacking him a couple of times with a candle holder. She makes it upstairs where Wesley and Cordelia are waiting. Cordelia yells at Raven, and granted, homegirl is stupid, but in this episode SO IS CORDELIA.

Sweeney: But mostly DAFUQ to this whole episode.

Lor: Raven confesses that she gave Angel Doxamil which produces a state of bliss, or you know, true happiness. It’s synthetic, however and should wear off. As they figure they should probably leave the building anyways, the lights cut out and Angelus comes in.

Wesley tries to talk to Angel and let him know that what he’s feeling is chemical suggestion. For the sake of the rest of this fantastic scene, I will leave my question about this until later. Angel walks closer to Wesley and says his name is Angelus. Wes tries to warn Angelus off. Angelus wonders if he’s suddenly grown a pair, and says that Wesley doesn’t have an inferiority complex; he’s just inferior. With that, he throws Wesley across the room.

Next, Angelus closes in on Cordelia who stutters a bit. Angel mocks her first for the stutter and then for her terrible performance in the play at the beginning of the episode. “I mean, I’ve been to hell but that was so much worse.” I kind of feel bad for Cordelia, but since this whole episode was kind of her fault, maybe not a lot bad.

Cordelia grabs a water container and wields it against Angel. She claims that it isn’t just regular water. She’s been preparing for this moment. “Why do you thing I have a stake stashed in my desk, a cross in my bag. I think about this happening every single day.” Angel calls her bluff but she says that she has their drinking water blessed every second Tuesday by a local parish priest while he sleeps. She  splashes the water onto Angel and he flinches but nothing else happens. He looks up at Cordy expectantly and she holds up the empty water container. “And the Oscar goes to,” she awesomes.

K: I would suggest that she get right on that drinking water thing, but considering that’s probably what they make the coffee out of, maybe not because then Angel would turn to dust. 

Sweeney: I loved this Cordelia moment. Champion.

Lor: This all gives Wesley the chance to come to and push Angel down the open elevator shaft.

We fade to Angel chained to his bed with Cordelia and Wesley looking over him. He wakes and Cordelia asks if he’s still evil. He apologizes and asks after Raven, but she’s gone. Cordelia is back to being a bit too snarky for what the situation calls for. Wesley agrees with me and suggests that they put it all behind them and move on. Angel thanks him. Wesley: You walk a fine line, Angel. I don’t envy you.

Sweeney: Doyle will always have a dear place in my heart, but Wesley has legit won me over, even though you all keep saying he’s got a long way to go to reach his excellence. He’s already pretty amazing. It’s insane, given how generally awful and useless he was in Sunnydale.

Lor: Agreed! Good call, Traumateers.

Cordelia agrees that they should put it behind them, though she says that she’d hoped the non-evil version of her friends would be as honest with her as the evil version of her friends. But, she’s moving on because she’s too big of a person not to. Angel thanks her and then asks if she’s going to untie him.

Well, this was an episode. Not nearly as much of those awesome character moments that have kept the last couple afloat, but the scenes with Angelus were well done. The fact that a drug could momentarily de-soul Angel, or… make him feel like he was de-souled? It’s complicated and murky and I’ve just realized something I don’t even know how to begin talking about. Instead I’ll just shrug my shoulders in the direction of the plot.

 

Next time on Angel: Faith brings her issues to LA and it once again threatens Angel’s life in S01 E18 – Five by Five.