Previously: Darla was pretty fantastic and she always got the best flashback wigs.
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The Shroud of Rahmon
Lorraine: Two cops are looking into an interrogation room. One of them is taller than the other, so you’re officially being introduced to Tall Cop and Short Cop. All of our nicknames can’t be instant classics, okay? Also, the closed captioning has them designated as White Cop and Black Cop. Ha. Helpful.
Sweeney: The closed captioning people should really ask us to name peripheral characters like that.
Kirsti: Closed captioning is the best. ESPECIALLY Youtube’s closed captioning. That shit is hilar.
Lor: Tall Cop is convinced that the guy they have in custody knows what happened. Short Cop points out that the guy has mental problems and Tall Cop is all, “SO?” Had I known, I would’ve called him Jerk Cop. Short Cop says though that if “she” dies, their perp is fair game.
The cops enter the interrogation room and tell the guy in custody that they can help him if he talks. The guy has his head down on the table and I can tell just from the delightful hair that it is Wesley. My, how my Wesley appreciation has grown.
The Short Cop says he’s sure Wesley just got in over his head and before he knew it, there was a cop on the ground and a body without a head.
Finally he stirs, confirming that that was indeed Wesley hair. Wesley babbles all of this: “She shouldn’t have been there. She didn’t know! I had to warn him. He didn’t know what he was getting into. None of them did. If they’d known of them wouldn’t… You didn’t bring it here, did you? No. No, then it’d be too late for all of us. He grabbed her hard – very hard. I’m quite good with the ladies myself, you know.”
K: Because, you know, there’s not enough buckets of crazy going on in Sunnydale of late. We need to add craziness in Los Angeles too. WHEEEEEEEEEEE.
Lor: The Short Cop wants to get on with the story and Wesley starts it with a crazy look and a , “it all went horribly wrong.” We flash to a blonde woman whose face we can’t see, falling as we pan up to Angel in vamp grill, blood around his mouth like a Kool-Aid smile. Electric Cellos.
Wesley is still talking about the thing that happened in creepy, vague terms. In the middle of this, Wesley mentions that Cordelia was with him, and then remembers Cordelia!
We flash back to Wesley asking, “what happened to your hair?” We see that Cordy’s hair is significantly shorter and also full of hot air. Or something gravity defying; that shit is huge. I’m not sure how I feel about the hair overall yet. Ask me again later.
Sweeney: The style is fine enough but it looks like a wig. Is it a wig? I can’t tell, but her hair looked super fake in the last episode too. Why is she doing these things to her head?
K: RIGHT? It’s completely and utterly AWFUL. I have memories of it not sucking in the future though, so I guess it’s just a matter of hanging on through the horrific stages. It DOES feel appropriate though that Cordy would get her waist length hair cut off so soon after Sweeney and I both did the same.
Lor: Did you two watch ahead?
Wesley says that the hair looks great and Cordy tells him she got the cut 10 days ago. She cuts him some slack by changing the subject to his sharp suit, as he’s on his way to another event with Virginia Bryce. He asks after Angel, and notes that he hasn’t been doing much with his time. Cordelia: Au contraire. His day is packed. Brood about Darla. Brood about Darla. Lunch, followed by a little Darla brooding.
I love you, Cordy, even if your hair is gigantic.
K: She’s the best.
Lor: Cordy tells Wes that Angel isn’t home. Gunn’s cousin got into something big and illegal and they both went to see if they can help. Wesley is happy Angel’s getting out, and shares that he’s on his way to a premiere. Cordy makes fun of him for a bit before he reveals he’s got an extra ticket. Aw.
Over with Angel and Gunn, they are talking to the Trouble Cousin, who says he’s not prejudiced, he just hates vampires. It’s pretty sad that I’ve heard things awfully similar to this, except for the vampire part.
K: As a general rule, if your statement is in the format “I’m not ________, BUT…”, then a) you are the thing you just claimed not to be, and b) you’re an asshat and everyone wants to punch you in the face. You know, just FYI.
Lor: We know you all really come here for life advice.
ANYWAYS. Trouble Cousin took a job driving the getaway car for a group of vampires trying to steal something big and supernatural from a museum. There’s also some psycho vampire coming in from Las Vegas for the job. Trouble Cousin vaguely remembers the name, but Angel knows he’s referring to someone named Jay-don.
Gunn tells his Trouble Cousin to still meet with the vampire gang, and that they’ll think of a way of getting him off the hook before the actual crime goes down. Trouble Cousin skips merrily away, as Angel says he’ll take the case from here. He and Gunn argue back and forth about who is the manliest, toughest, bestest vampire slayer. It ends with Angel telling Gunn to knit him a sweater while he goes to fight the bad guys.
Sweeney: “Something dark.” Cute. But also, damn it, Angel. Gunn’s got a pretty legit reason to want to be there.
Lor: More on that later.
Angel goes back to the Brooding Hotel. He walks into a darkened room and calls out Darla’s name, but alas. It is not Darla. It is someone 10,000 times less fun: Kate. She’s here about the murder of the actor who was posing as Darla’s husband. Kate asks if Angel would be willing to testify in a “blindingly sunny court of law.” Angel doesn’t say, “SUN DON’T FAZE ME FOOL.” but you know he’s thinking it. What he does say is that she probably doesn’t have a warrant. Kate whips out some sort of wooden cross/stake hybrid, and you can tell she’s super proud of herself but I hate her so much, I kind of hope she trips and falls on it.
We’re going to abuse the shit out of that gif.
Sweeney: I think we crossed that line when I used it three times in one post. By which I mean YES. OF COURSE.
K: I’m okay with it, because it totally sums up my feelings towards Kate.
Lor: Anyways, Kate continues to try to be a badass by saying that she will find Darla and when she does, it’s life in prison for her. Angel tries to reason with Kate, and he takes a step closer. She lifts up her crosstake and he chuckles at her all, “bless your heart.” Kate really brings out the mean, Angelus-y side of Angel, or at least she does in this scene where he tells her that she’s gonna get her ass killed. Kate’s is just not getting the hint so Angel says, “Lets try this one more time, huh?” and he whack the crosstake out of her hand and sends it flying to the opposite wall. Baby girl. If you are going to threaten a vampire with a cross, at least work on your grip, yes?
Angel grabs her by the arms and says that if she gets between him and Darla, it’ll be the last thing she does. Kate struggles out of his grasp, they stare at each other, and she walks out. AND STAY OUT. Sorry. You guys can probably tell I’m really fickle (and extreme) with my character feelings and this chick bothers me. (S: +1)
We seizure cut to Wesley and Cordy walking into the Brooding Hotel. The seizure cut consists of a shot of Kate, Angel smacking the crosstake out of her hand, and that image of Angel with his bloody Kool Aid smile from the beginning of the episode.
Cordy has a big stain on the front of her shirt and she’s wiggin. Angel asks what happens and she says it’s not blood, but Angel was referring to her new hair.
Cordelia ducks behind the reception desk to change her shirt while Angel fills them in on Trouble Cousin and Jay-don.
K: I understand that she wants to stick around for the being filled in part, but seriously? You’ve got an entire hotel at your disposal, not to mention Angel’s office, and YOU SIT ON THE FLOOR BEHIND THE DESK TO CHANGE??
Lor: I love the things that bother us.
Wesley is super happy that Angel is back and on a case. Cordy offers to crank up the research machine with Wes and asks what Angel will be doing. His plan is to go intercept Jay-don at the bus station and take his place. Wes has heard of Jay-don as he’s a flashy extroverted vamp. Cordelia congratulates Angel on his plan but then registers the whole “flashy” part and considers Angel in his usual black ensemble. Wesley unconvincingly says that he’s sure Angel will pull it off.
Later, at the bus station, Angel finds Jay-don and pretends to geek out over his presence. It’s kind of adorable. Maybe I just think so because he has a facial expression other than brood for about 15 seconds. And then he stakes Jay-don.
Next time we see Angel he’s in a lime green shirt and bright blue pants, plus he’s faking a New York accent. Master of disguise, this one is.
Sweeney: Angel, Master of Disguise is kind precious. Also: LOL, Angel doing accents…
K: I swear, I couldn’t think of anything but Seeley Booth the entire time he was dressed like that. Sometimes I think he got his role on Bones based exclusively on the episodes of Angel where he had to dress up in ridiculous outfits (see: the episode where he wore a Hawaiian shirt).
Lor: Angel finds the demon who was supposed to pick up Jay-don. They meet up with the rest of the museum heist gang, who are not in fact vampires. My bad. The one that picked up Angel we’ll call Scar Tissue Demon, there’s one Angel identifies as a Great Big Monster and a third he calls Bob the Security Guard. Scar Tissue says they are waiting for their driver, Lester, just as some car arriving sounds can be heard in the background. Instead of Lester, though, we of course get Gunn.
After a Not Commercial Break, Scar Tissue tells us they are looking to steal the Shroud of Rahmon. You may be ugly, Scar Tissue, but on the bright side, you earned today’s Gold Star!
Scar Tissue goes over the break in details and part of it involves an alarm triggered by change in body temperature which is why they brought in Jay-don. From Vegas. The case they are stealing is big and it will take all of them to lift it. This sets the gang bickering about who can lift what. Angel points to Gunn and says he’s a trouble maker, trying to get him kicked off the team. Gunn says Angel better shut up. Angel responds by punching him in the face and trying to drag him outside.
It should be noted that the over the top New York accent is gone. If he breaks out in the “Irish” one soon, I would almost literally LOL forever. Or for like 5 minutes for sure.
Scar Tissue isn’t having this little YOU WANNA GO? match and points guns at them, saying the heist is going down that night.
Sweeney: Totally irrelevant sidebar: the YOU WANNA GO? kids should both be in high school this year. I wonder if they ever got to their respective destinations.
Lor: Totally amazing sidebar.
Brooding Hotel. Wesley and Cordelia are conducting some of their awfully lucky research, and quickly deduce that the museum heist gang are probably after the Shroud of Rahmon.
K: I stop to throw a very confused hissy fit about the idea of a NATURAL history museum acquiring an object that’s significant to SOCIAL history. Because I’m a curator and it’s what I do, dammit.
Lor: We love your the way you are.
We cut to the gang arriving at the museum. Angel tries to insist that Gunn should stay with the getaway car, but Scar Tissue says they need him inside. Left outside alone for a second, Gunn tells Angel not to hit him again. Angel says it was a “trying to protect you” punch and Gunn’s all, “NO THANK YOU.” and punches Angel for good measure.
Sweeney: Fair. I’d like my protection without punches in the face, thanks.
Lor: Amen.
Inside, Bob the Security Guard lets them into the museum. Great Big Monster takes out another security guard, but Angel stops him from going in for the kill with some excuse about murder being a big deal for cops. Scar Tissue leads them to the vault and Angel and Gunn keep giving each other super obvious, long lingering looks. I mean, it’s a wonder all these other heist folk don’t think these two are either (1) in on something or (2) want to get in each other.
K: A+. It’s totally suss. Also suss? That television thinks museums can afford vaults reminiscent of Ocean’s Eleven. Museums are, as a general rule, not flush with cash, and in my experience, the vast majority of objects are stored in rooms that are secured with little more than swipe card access.
Lor: We see a shot of police cars surrounding the museum. A cop is showing pictures to someone we can’t see yet, but that I know immediately will turn out to be Kate. It’s like I felt the annoying coming off the screen. They’ve identified Bob and Scar Tissue from photos but weren’t able to ID Angel, until another cop said Kate might know him.
Inside the bank, Scar Tissue finally blows open the vault.
At the Brooding Hotel, Wesley reads the history of the Shroud of Rahmon aloud. “The shroud was woven by the head priest, said to have been driven mad by the demon himself. Once Rahmon was defeated the priest dyed the shroud with the blood of seven virgin women sacrificed on the first full moon.”
Sweeney: Agreed. This was awesome. Snaps for you, girl. Also: shots for another oh-so-subtle Buffyverse religion indictment.
K: 1430 for Cordy because ACCURATE, YO.
Lor: Wesley has no response for this and just finishes his Shroud summary: the Shroud holds the power of Rahmon but the bad news is that it makes you go crazy. When Cordy guesses Angel might be helping to steal the crazy Shroud at this very moment, they run off to go warn Angel.
Angel enters the vault and is insta-possessed, which we know because his eyes get all glowy. (S: Convenient! Thanks, for that reveal, magic shroud!) After a cut to black, Angel disarms the security system. The others enter and bicker some more. Gunn notices Angel’s eyes getting glowy, but Angel says he’s fine.
Wesley and Cordelia are apparently just going to walk in on this museum heist. They don’t get very many steps in before they start acting loopy. Cordelia says it might be the altitude and Wesley’s all, “yeah, at sea level.” They laugh and even though they are probably under the influence of a crazy-ass shroud, it’s cute.
Sweeney: Moments when everyone is heartily laughing are wonderful. I don’t realize how rare it is until it’s actually happening.
K: It’s like when you’re a fan of Supernatural and you can always identify the gag reel moments because they’re laughing. Womp womp. Also, I can’t stop staring at Cordy’s awful hair in that gif. The longer I watch, the more convinced I am that it’s a wig.
Lor: It’s just so far away from her head.
Kate arrives at the museum and she’s calling in for back-up.
Inside, the heist gang is slowly carrying the shroud case along, but Angel and Gunn are still bickering. Gunn says that vampires think they can take everything, like your sister. That’s a very specific example of everything there, Gunn, but okay. Fair. Gunn lets his corner of the case go and tackles Angel to a wall, so that the case falls, the glass breaks and nefarious mist seeps out of it. I’m not sure why, since all the possessing and creepiness started instantly, but okay mist.
Angel pins Gunn to the wall by his throat, but releases him once Gunn pretends to be calmer. As soon as Angel’s back is turned, he pulls out a stake, though Angel senses it with his Spidey-senses. They fight a little while Great Big Monster does the demon equivalent of “FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!” Scar Tissue whips out his gun again to break it up.
Bob the Security guard starts wigging out and saying something about cowboys and I’m not sure because this scene ends with Great Big Monster ripping his head off. So much for not murdering anyone.
K: To be fair, I’d have probably done the same if confronted with an annoying little security guy who was pretending to be far more badass than he is.
Lor: Kate comes across Wesley and knocks him on the head. She asks where Angel is.
Cut to Cordelia examining her teeth in a glass reflection and stealing jewelry out of an exhibit.
K: YOU PUT THAT BACK, CORDELIA CHASE.
Lor: Kate gets infected with the crazy, and when she turns around, Wesley is gone.
With the heist gang, Scar Tissue gets infected with the crazy, and starts wiping the service elevator down so there won’t be any fingerprints. He wipes with his right hand, while leaving even more fingerprints with his left.
Gunn soon has to stop carrying the case because he says his head is full of flies. Angel patronizingly asks Gunn what’s wrong as some crazy-ass whispering gets louder and his eyes glow again. Wesley finds them and tells Angel about the shroud. Angel tries to push Wesley out, but Kate rushes in with her gun. Angel: “Wow! Look at you – rushing in here all by yourself! You’re the best cop ever.”
LOL.
Sweeney: Awesome. A+ and a 1430 for you, Possessed Angel.
K: Agreed. We think it, he says it.
Lor: Great Big Monster gets growly at Kate, but Angel says that this is his girl. Kate aims her gun at Angel and he gives another one of his laughing-at-you chuckles. Angel: “You got me. My life of crime is over. I’m going down. But first – a little impression. I’m a cop with a mission to protect the innocent and rain on everybody’s parade and obsess about my father’s death and bother people who are about to steal things!”
Wesley calls out to Angel, but he just spins around and knocks Wesley aside. Angel asks Kate what she’s afraid of before vamping out and sinking his teeth into her neck.
A SWAT team enters the museum and we follow them until they find Wesley crouched over Kate’s body. He starts to say he didn’t do it, but the cops notices the bite marks on Kate’s neck and pull Wesley away.
Scar Tissue, Big Monster, Angel and Gunn have managed to get the case to the heist headquarters. They open it up and are suddenly all overcome with the desire to have the Crazy Shroud to themselves. Angel is acting super not like himself. I mean, everyone else is acting crazy, but Angel doesn’t even sound like himself. It’s weird.
Sweeney: He’s also the only one who seems to occasionally wear weird colored contacts.
Lor: Anyways. They fight over the shroud and Scar Tissue kills Big Monster. In a lucid moment, Angel tells Gunn to trust him because he knows what to do with the shroud. After a moment, Gunn lets it go.
Angel takes the shroud outside and sets it on fire. There is an explosion that throws him back, but the good news is that the crazy is presumably gone.
We head back to where we started this episode, with Wesley being questioned back Short Cop and Tall Cop. Not unsurprisingly, they don’t buy his “a Crazy Shroud made me do it!” explanation. (K: Kate totally would have on account of she’s an expert in supernatural occurrences and all. LOL.) Tall Cop is just about to handcuff Wesley when Kate, rocking some of Faith’s Coma Make-up, comes in to tell them to let Wesley go.
Kate stands near her desk looking out of a window. She touches her neck gingerly and it takes her into a flashback of Angel biting her neck. This time we see Angel spin her away from Scar Tissue, who is aiming a gun at Kate. Angel whispers for her to play dead, or else they will really kill her. Kate plays along and falls to the ground. Or maybe she falls to the ground on account of being eaten, but stays down so that no one else will try to kill her. I hope she’s not thinking that her helping get Wesley free and listening to Angel is going to make me like her, or something.
Sweeney: Word. Deciding not to get herself murdered and doing the honest thing because it’s her job? Congratu-freaking-lations. I still hate you.
K: A+.
Lor: At the Brooding Hotel, Wesley and Cordelia lament having sent Angel on that case. I think they are being hard on themselves, seeing as how the case came by way of Gunn. But whatevs. They feel bad that Angel was exposed to the Crazy Shroud. What’s more, Wesley points out that Angel fed on a live human for the first time in a long time. He fears they’ve reawakened his blood lust. Cordy’s all, “WELP. On that note…” and they head home for the night.
Upstairs, Angel sits in the dark, thinking about drinking from Kate.
K: He may be thinking about drinking from Kate, but I got the impression that it was less blood lust and more EXTRA THINGS TO BROOD ABOUT. Because, you know, we didn’t have enough of that crap to deal with around here already…
Lor: Not a bad episode. It started a bit slow for me and I wasn’t sure about the Crazy Shroud business and Angel having those super convenient moments of lucidity. I think this episode did do a good job of showing the monkey wrench thrown into the Fang Gang. We got to enjoy a few episodes of them just working so well together, but I think the Darla business has come in the way of them. Cordy and Wesley are worried for Angel, but he’s shutting them out. With Gunn, Angel didn’t even want to accept his help, where episodes ago, they were fighting blubber monsters together.
In that way, this episode was a good follow up to finding out more about Darla and the sort of pull she has on Angel.
Plus, that lime green shirt.
Next time on Angel: To save Darla, Angel has to survive some impossible trials. We’re thinking he does. Find out for sure in S02 E09 – The Trial.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
Nicole is the co-captain of Snark Squad and these days she spends most of her time editing podcasts. She spends too much time on Twitter and very occasionally vlogs and blogs. In her day job she's a producer, editor, director, and sometimes host of educational YouTube channels. She loves travel, maps, panda gifs, and semicolons. Writing biographies stresses her out; she crowd sourced this one years ago and has been using a version of it ever since. She would like to thank Twitter for their help.
I'm a 30-something librarian and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. Leader of Team Heartless Cow. I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and read more than is good for me.
