Pretty Little Liars S01 E17 – All the Feels for Emily

Previously: Spencer tried getting closer to Toby, though Jenna is there to cock block every step of the way.
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The New Normal

Sara: We open with all four PLLs in Spencer’s room, with Aria sulking by the window. They’re discussing how Melissa is pregnant and Emily wonders why she got pregnant. The girls are trying to decode Toby’s message, which is in braille. Emily invites Aria to sit closer and Nancy Drew with them, but she just mean eyes Hanna and says she can see just fine, thank you very much.

They decode Toby’s letter, and all it says is BAD. Womp womp.

SHH.

In Hanna’s house the next morning, Mama Marin is packing up the rest of the Free Old Lady Money to bring back to the bank. She’s going to put what’s left over back in the safe deposit box, and I guess just pretend she didn’t steal the rest of it. Right after Mama Marin walks out the door, Caleb sneaks up from the basement to get breakfast. When they hear Mama Marin coming back inside, Caleb ducks into another room and Hanna hides his hat by throwing it in the sink full of water? What? She could have just dropped it on the floor or into the empty sink. That was weird.

Sweeney: Or, like, literally anywhere else in the kitchen besides the sink full of water. Super weird, Hanna.

Lorraine: As if we needed more evidence proving how much she sucks at hiding things.

Sara: At school, Aria sees Hanna and catches her to talk. (Sidebar: At first, I thought Aria was giving Hanna judgy eyes for flirting with Caleb, and I wrote a paragraph long rant about how annoying it is that Aria gets to butt into everyone else’s relationships, but no one else gets to talk about her ONE TRU LUV, and now I feel dumb, because Aria is actually doing something very mature right now. Negative points for me.)

Aria apologizes to Hanna; she says that she should have understood and let Hanna explain instead of storming off. Hanna apologizes, too, for almost getting Aria’s adult teacher boyfriend in trouble. Aw, it’s so sweet watching friends be friends. Aria figures that A made Hanna rat on Aria because he/she knew it would hurt more coming from a friend. Why does this surprise them? A TRIED TO MURDER HANNA WITH A CAR.

Sweeney: Aria’s still working with a major favorability deficit, but NGL, the ease with which she forgave Hanna won her lots of points in my book. It sucked that she didn’t listen in the first place, but she said as much and apologized to Hanna for that. It was pretty precious. Keep it up, Aria.

Sara: Ezrafitz is eating lunch with some other adult teachers, proving that he does indeed know how to talk to people over the age of 16. He tells them he’s going to a book signing Friday, and one of the teachers invites herself along. She also invites Piper Mom to go, and of course Piper Mom agrees. This scene is so awesome. Ezrafitz is about to go on a date with his underage girlfriend’s mom!

The PLLs are eating lunch together, and it. is. adorable. They’re all very cute, teasing Hanna about having a thing for bad wolfy boys after dating Nice Guy Sean. Emily does manage to slip in a warning about Caleb being sketchy, but Hanna replies that they had the same conversation three episodes ago about Toby. +1 to Hanna.

Lunch is interrupted when Paige’s dad, Mr. McHomophobe, stomps into the cafeteria and right up to Ezrafitz, demanding to see the swim coach. Ezra tries to calm him down and introduces himself, but Mr. McHomophobe AIN’T HAVING IT. Ezra offers to take him down to the principal’s office, but Mr. McH says he’s already spoken to her and all he heard was some politically correct crap. His daughter is the best swimmer on the team, and he doesn’t think it’s fair to give Captain to someone else just because –

His rant is interrupted by Ezra, who says, “You’re in a cafeteria, Mr. McCullers, full of kids trying to have lunch. I don’t think that’s the audience you want, is it?” He escorts him out of the cafeteria, and I LOVE THIS. I’m hard on Ezra pretty much all of the time, but I love that he handled that display so politely and didn’t let it get out of hand. It’s nice when we see scenes where Ezra isn’t just a child predator, you know?

Sweeney: Yeah, I’m not ready to give him any points yet.

Lor: I’m already confused by thinking Aria did a great thing this episode. Let’s not get crazy.

Sara: Mama Marin is at work, and guess who her next client is?! The nephew of Old Lady, she of Free Old Lady Money fame! These Marins really have no luck. He wants to talk about her accounts, specifically the safe deposit box. Mama Marin buys herself some time by telling him about some paperwork he’ll have to go through before she can release the contents. He mentions that he’s an architect and has some work in the area, so he’ll hang around until the paperwork is processed.

Nephew Architect acts pretty normally as he leaves, but Mama Marin is just as bad an actress as the PLLs. She’s all stuttery and weird. Nephew Architect manages to ask her out before he leaves, but Mama Marin doesn’t really give him an answer.

Sweeney: Is she going to have to solve problems with her vagina again? This makes me so sad for her poor, over-worked vagina.

Lor: Considering how the rest of her life is going, I think her vagina just said, “speak for yourself!”

Sara: Paige finds Emily in school and is trying to apologize for the things her dad said at lunch. Poor Paige seems really upset about it, but Emily is upset, too, so she kind of blows her off.

Piper Mom and Papa Cheater are walking down the hall at school, discussing teacher conferences. Piper Mom says if he can’t meet them all, he should at least try to meet Aria’s French teacher and Ezra. (I feel like the show having everyone call him Ezra is supposed to distract us from the fact that he’s Aria’s teacher.) Piper Mom says Aria is “crazy about him” and she can see why. He’s smart, attractive, sensitive… LOL. This is so great! The Ezra/Piper date is going to be awfulsome (awful + awesome). (L: A+)

Papa Cheater invites Piper Mom on a date Friday, but she tells him she’s going to the book signing with Ezra. He claims that she doesn’t even like Leonard Adams, but she’s like YES HUH, like how girls pretend they like sports. As she walks off, Papa Cheater looks kind of nervous. If he only knew how much worse it actually is.

Spencer confronts Toby about the message he left in the book. She wants to know if he’s messing with the PLLs, but he denies it and says she isn’t reading the message correctly. He’s on his way out of the house, so he says she’ll have to come back Saturday morning, when Blind!Jenna is at her flute lesson. You wouldn’t think it would be this difficult to hide from a blind girl.

Lor: I love how Toby passes her a secret, decoded message and she goes to talk to him about it all out in the open in front of his house. Spencer, you are doing secret messages wrong.

Sara: As Toby heads off, Spencer gets a message from A.

Emily is on the phone with Hanna when her mom stops by her door with laundry. Emily tells her (not super nicely) that she’s talking with Hanna. Mama Fields says (nicely) that she wasn’t going to ask. She asks if Em wants her to heat anything up to eat, and Emily blows her off, which is understandable. When Mama Fields leaves, Hanna asks what that was about, and Emily tells her that things aren’t any better between the mother and daughter. Hanna asks if she told her mom about Mr. McH coming up to the school in a rage, but Emily thinks her mom would just tell her it’s her own fault for choosing a disgusting lifestyle. When Hanna isn’t super nice about Paige, Emily defends her and says that Paige didn’t seem to have anything to do with it. Aw.

We cut over to Spencer and Aria on the phone, talking about Toby and the code. Spencer hears an ambulance from Aria’s end and gets suspicious. Spencer asks where Aria is, because any ambulance Aria can hear at her house would also be heard from Spencer’s house. Before Aria can answer, Spencer jumps up, because she’s figured out that Aria is at Ezra’s apartment. She asks if Aria is sitting on his bed, and Aria jumps up quickly and says no, of course not!

Sweeney: LOLOLOL I THOUGHT THE SAME THING. I hate Ezria with the fire of a thousand suns, but Spencer shipping them is the cutest thing. DAMN IT SPENCER, YOU’RE CONFUSING ME.

Sara: When Ezrafitz returns to the apartment with take out, he mentions that he’ll be seeing Aria’s dad at the parent teacher conferences tomorrow. Romantic dinner conversation! Ezra says this meeting might be a bit more complex than the normal parent teacher conference. Is that so, Ezra? Huh.

Aria says her dad will like Ezra, and Ezra will like her dad, and he should just be his usual awesome, amazing, super best boyfriend self, and he’ll be fine.

Hanna and her mom are both primping in front of the mirror before Mama Marin’s date with Architect Nephew. (Apparently she accepted off screen.) Hanna worries about what ArchNeph is after, and Mama Marin promises she’ll find out after the third martini. Woohoo! Another problem that Mama Marin’s magic vagina can fix!

When the doorbell rings, instead of it being ArchNeph, it’s Caleb. Hanna looks surprised, and Mama Marin does not look amused. She pulls Hanna aside and asks if Caleb is some kind of rebound from Sean. Hanna defends him, but Mama Marin isn’t trusting his wolfy good looks. She says Hanna isn’t allowed to stay home alone with him, so she’ll have to go to the library to study.

While the girls are talking, ArchNeph arrives and Caleb shows him in. Mama Marin joins them and introduces everyone. She gives ArchNeph one last thing to sign before they leave, and then they’re off. Right when the door closes, Hanna snaps at Caleb for showing up unannounced. He tells her that he wanted to meet her mom in a way that didn’t involve her stumbling upon him sleeping in their basement.

Caleb accuses Hanna of not liking Mama Marin’s new boyfriend, but Hanna says he isn’t her mom’s boyfriend – just some architect person from the bank. Caleb questions ArchNeph being an architect because of the pen he used to sign the documents. It was a cheap plastic pen, and architects tend to be pen snobs. Suspicious indeed. Hanna says she can’t tell him the whole story about ArchNeph because it’s complicated, but apparently Caleb likes complicated.

Here comes a great scene, everyone. Prepare yourselves.

Sweeney: Including proper warnings like this is what giving good TV is all about. Thanks for the heads up, Sara! Popcorn ready.

Lor:

Sara: Ezrafitz is at the parent teacher conference with Papa Cheater, and it is all kinds of weird. Ezra is talking about Aria’s school performance, but Papa Cheater interrupts to say in a very creepy voice, “So, you’re taking my wife out.” This is probably not at all what Ezrafitz had in mind for this conference. He’s like, “if by wife, you mean 16-year old daughter…?” No, okay, he doesn’t actually say that. He seems genuinely confused until Papa Cheater brings up the book signing. Ezra seems to breathe a sigh of relief now that he knows this isn’t about Aria and says they both like the author so they decided to go.

Papa Cheater talks some shit about Leonard Adams, and Ezra tries to play it off, but it is just bad. Papa Cheater is pretty condescending, especially considering he’s the one whose name has CHEATER in it. Get out of here, Papa Cheater, with the jealous bullshit.

The PLLs are all shopping and Hanna and Aria are playing No Girl You Take The Cute Jacket because they are cute and back to being best friends again. Spencer and Emily ask what they were mad about in the first place, and the girls explain everything. Hanna even goes on to tell them that Caleb has been sleeping in her basement. Aria looks like she’s thinking, “get you one, girl!” but Spencer is like NO. DANGER.

They hear Blind!Jenna’s voice in the dressing area and walk over there to see her dressed up in lace lingerie. She says it’s perfect because he loves lace, and all four PLLs look like they are going to throw up because, ew.

Sweeney: +1 to the chorus of EW.

Lor: +my voice say ew over and over again.

Sara: After the Not Commercial Break, Ezrafitz is telling Aria that her dad came into the student teacher conference, ready to throw down. Aria refuses to believe it, because that is not how her dad is, but Ezra says he’s pretty sure it was Papa Cheater because he recognized him from that picture of everyone on the glacier that Aria showed him. (I don’t know why, but that made me laugh. So specific!)

Ezra: I’m trying to act like I’m not in love with his daughter, and he’s trying to start a duel over your mother.

Ezra insists that Papa Cheater either hates him or he’s crazy. Aria is like HE DOESN’T HATE YOU, which can only mean one thing, girl.

Mama Fields show up at school for her parent teacher conferences and runs into Aria’s mom. Piper Mom tells Mama Fields that everyone loves Emily, and the school won’t stand for anyone to be bullied. Mama Fields is confused, because Emily never told her this happened. Piper Mom shares that Mr. McH came up to the school and accused the school of only letting Emily be Captain because she’s gay. Mama Fields asks if Emily was in the cafeteria when this happened, and Piper Mom confirms that she was. Mama Fields looks brokenhearted at the news.

Spencer shows up at Toby’s house Saturday morning and just walks inside when no one answers. WHO DOES THAT? Seriously, that is the best way to get murdered. She wanders into Blind!Jenna’s room and picks up one of her many snow globes. (S: There is a ridiculous amount of glass in there for a supposedly blind girl. That room has “DISASTER” written all over it. That or “NOT REALLY BLIND.”) (L: Get you some, Sweeney Drew!) Toby shows up behind her and suggests she put it down. He tells her if she doesn’t put it back where she got it, Jenna will know she was there. I guess Jenna was granted an extra sense of Creepy since she lost her sight.

Toby tells Spencer that he got a call from his lawyer, and he’s off the hook for Alison’s murder for now. He tells her he’s just waiting for his dad to take him to the courthouse to get the ankle bracelet removed. Spencer offers to take him, and they give each other flirty looks.

Lor: Over ankle bracelet removal. Guys, stop it.

Sara: Hanna and Caleb are in the Marin kitchen, when Caleb shares some information about ArchNeph. He called the university ArchNeph claimed to have gone to and asked if there was a man by that name who graduated. They confirmed that there was, but upon further research, Caleb found that that man died two years ago. So it looks like ArchNeph is just trying to steal him some Free Old Lady Money too!

Caleb says that when the bank ran the name, they only found that he did have a relation to the Old Lady, not that he was already deceased. “Knowing the right questions is better than having all the right answers.“

As Toby and Spencer are leaving Toby’s house, Blind!Jenna shows up in a cab to take Toby to get his ankle bracelet removed. He tells her he already has a ride, and Jenna assumes he means Emily. When Spencer clarifies, Jenna grits her teeth and says she can handle it. Toby stands up for himself and tells Jenna he’s going with Spencer, which probably means Jenna is going to murder Toby so hard.

Hanna tries to tell Mama Marin what Caleb found out, but Mama Marin doesn’t want to draw any attention to herself in this case.

Aria asks Papa Cheater what he thought of the parent teacher conferences, and he said he liked her French teacher, but Mr. Fitz was just “okay.” Aria is like, JUST OKAY? because she is the actual worst at being discreet. They argue about Ezra for a minute, until Aria mentions that it isn’t just Ezra and Piper Mom going to the book signing – half of the English department will be there. Papa Cheater looks smug and ends the conversation, because he just found out Piper Mom isn’t going on a date date with Mr. Fitz.

Mama Marin is showing ArchNeph the contents of the safety deposit box, and he is visibly disappointed. He sounds threatening as he tells her that it was always assumed that Old Lady had a lot more money stashed away than $3,000 measly bucks. Thanks to Hanna and Caleb’s tip earlier, Mama Marin starts asking specific questions about where ArchNeph banks with his business accounts, and he knows that she’s on to him. He clarifies that the Old Lady being rich was just a myth and leaves. One point for Mama Marin for thinking on the spot.

Mama Fields grabs Emily after swim practice at the school and pulls her aside. She asks Emily if what Piper Mom told her is true. Emily confirms that it happened, and Mama Fields asks why she didn’t tell her.

“It’s because I know what you think of me. I know what you’d say. It doesn’t matter who I am. I better get used to people only looking at me one way.”

Mama Fields looks absolutely crushed and spots Mr. McH over Emily’s shoulder. “Nick!” she yells over to him. She tells him they need to talk, and he agrees. He tells her that she can deal with her family’s “problems” however she wants, but this is about his daughter. (Paige is also standing right behind him for this entire exchange.) She tells him it sure is about his daughter, and the fact that he is trying to make her into a professional victim, blaming people like Emily for not getting whatever she wants. Mr. McH says that Mama Fields is getting upset.

 

She drops the mic and walks away and Emily follows behind, asking if she’s okay.

Mama Fields breaks down in tears. “Emily, I still don’t understand. But I love you. You are my child, and nobody hurts my child. I’m so sorry if I…” Emily hugs her.

I’m not gonna lie, you guys. I cried a little. This whole episode is just so wonderful with how it handles intolerance. It’s so awesome to see every single one of the main characters (and a lot of the side characters, too) standing up for Emily like that. I like how the show portrayed it as the most normal thing in the world, for everyone to stand up for someone being bullied that way.

I also really respect the way Mama Fields’ character has developed with this plot line. The character seems like people I know in real life. I can imagine a lot of parents having this kind of reaction to finding out one of their children is gay, and I think it’s good that the show didn’t paint Mama Fields as a bad person for having to work out her feelings on this. Obviously she said some things she probably shouldn’t have, but she isn’t closing the door. She’s working on opening her mind up, and anyone who is willing to try to understand the other side of things earns a lot of points from me.

Sweeney: +1 to everything you just said. I had all the feels and OK FINE EMILY’S MOM, I DON’T HATE YOU ANYMORE, and I approve of this character growth business.

Lor: I’d add more comments to this, but I have to go wipe my eyes and blow my nose. Being Team Feels is hard.

Sara: ANYWAYS. Spencer and Toby have driven out to the Welcome To Rosewood sign, so Toby can step outside of the city for the first time off of house arrest. They flirt a little before Spencer reveals that she figured out the code Toby left her. The braille code was actually numbers instead of letters, so the message spelled out 2-1-4. She asks Toby what it means, but he doesn’t know. He heard Jenna on the phone with someone, talking about Spencer. She used her braille printer to print something out, and Toby saw that it was the number 214. He asks Spencer if it means anything to her, but she doesn’t know either.

Toby tells Spencer that Jenna is afraid of her, and the rest of Alison’s friends – all of the girls who were there the night of the fire. I mean, that’s pretty fair, right? To be afraid of the girls who blinded you with a stink bomb?

Lor: Also, fair to be afraid of the girls who know about your predilections. Because, blind or not, she does want to sleep with her step-brother.

Sweeney: YEAH, OK, FINE. Except that I still don’t really think she’s blind, what with her glass filled bedroom and leaning into reflective surfaces to apply her lipstick. And her Ominous Sound Effects situation.

Sara: Emily is about to leave the school when Paige jumps in the car. She tries to apologize for her dad again, but Emily says she needs to go because her mom is waiting. Paige complains that everything is so easy for Emily, and Em gets pissed.

“Easy? What planet do you live on? I’ve spent most of my life trying not to feel the way I feel. I come out, and they ship my first girlfriend off to God knows where. And now maybe she’s done with me. So yeah, it’s all about Emily. All Em. All the time.“

Right then, Paige grabs Emily’s face and kisses her. Emily is so surprised that she doesn’t really have time to react or close her eyes or anything. Paige breaks away, says, “Don’t tell,” and runs off.

Lor: “And my second girl kiss comes from a girl who tried to drown me. Awesome.”

Sara: Caleb is staying a bit longer in Hanna’s basement, and she says good night to him at the door, and they are definitely eye humping, and SQUEE! I love them.

Someone knocks at the door, and when Hanna answers it, a pest control guy asks if she’s A. “Someone called for an estimate. Said you have some kind of infestation in the basement. Said it was A. Is that you?” Hanna tells him he has the wrong house and closes the door, looking worried. WHY? Why does A have to be so mean to Hanna and Caleb?

Ezria are making out on Ezra’s couch when the phone rings, and they let the voicemail catch it. The voicemail happens to be from Papa Cheater, who is telling him they should get together and have a beer or something. Aria and Ezra jump apart, look appropriately skeeved out, and decide to eat more Chinese food.

Spencer and Toby drive home and they pass a motel. The All-Knowing Cameraman zooms in one of the doors, numbered 214. I really hope Spence saw that, too. It’ll make things so much easier.

A-nonymous: A person all in black leaves flowers at the grave of Old Lady, whose name was Esther Marie Potter, 1929 – 2011. That was kind of boring.

Lor: And pretty nice too! Leaving an old lady flowers.

Next time on Pretty Little Liars: The girls multi-task when they star in a play together and Nancy Drew some blood they come upon in S01 E18 – The Badass Seed.