Previously: Cordy got sucked through a portal into Pylea, Lorne’s home dimension and was made a slave. The Fang Gang went after her and got into all sorts of trouble. But on the plus side, Angel didn’t catch on fire.
—
Through the Looking Glass
Kirsti: We pick up exactly where we left off last time. The guys stare at Showgirl Costume Cordy in confusion, and she says Pylea’s not that bad although her throne could use more cushions. Wes says that it’s great because now she can set them all free. Gunn makes puppy dog eyes at her as he shows off his manacles. She says that there should be extended grovelling first, and Angel rolls his eyes. So she says “Off with their heads!” The guards all pull their swords and the guys look shocked. “Just kidding!” she adds. Roll electric cellos.
Sweeney: Girl, this is not really the audience for joking about members of the Fang Gang getting beheaded.
K: Seriously. Get with the program, Cor.
Lor: Sorry, but this entire opening bothered the shit out of me. Considering the buckets of WTF we’ve been dealing with for two episodes, the jokey, “HAHAHA KILL THEM!” just rubbed me the wrong way. Anyway.
K: After the credits, Narwek is reluctant to set criminals free in the Princess’ presence. But Cordy uses her HBIC voice and tells him and all the guards to get out. They comply. Once the doors are closed, she runs towards the guys with her arms open for a hug. But they all rush past her towards the food. Except Angel, who just stands there awkwardly. He asks her what happened, and she says that they jabbed her with pokers for a while, then made her royalty.
Lorne joins the dots, and asks if she had a vision. When she says that she did, he mentions that there’s a prophecy. “A prophecy? Great. Because those always go well…” Angel sasses. Lorne continues, saying that the priests who’ve been ruling Pylea for forever have a prophecy about a cursed one with a direct line to the Powers That Be (Contriving). And that the cursed one will be the Messiah who returns the monarchy to power.
Lor: I’m surprised that no one stops this right here and mentions that you probably don’t want to be all princess-ing over people who identify you as cursed.
K: Valid point, Lor. Gunn cracks up at the idea of Cordy being the Messiah, and she glares at him. Wes, on the other hand, is thrilled because it means they might all actually survive. Cordy asks how they got to Pylea, and they fill her in on the “we lost the book” part. She says that the priests have a bunch of books that they used to swear her in as monarch. Wes says that he needs to see the books, and she gripes at him for wanting to get home to Cordy’s Not a Princess Land. Gunn gets them back on track by mentioning that they still need a hot spot to get home. Wes turns to Angel, and Cordy gasps in shock because Angel’s staring at his reflection in the mirror. He touches his hair in confusion, and asks if his hair looking like that is because of the trip through the portal. Cordy’s all “Uh, no. It always looks like that,” and he wonders why no one told him.
Wes drags Angel away from the mirror and tells him to go with Lorne to talk to his family about any possible portal activity. Lorne is none too pleased about this, because EW FAMILY. Wes gives him an ultimatum – talk to his family or stay in Pylea forever. Lorne rushes Angel out the door. Wes asks Cordy if she can get them access to the books, and she’s all “Duh. HBIC, remember?” With that, we cut to an unspecified elsewhere where there is dissension in the priestly ranks. Some of them are none too pleased about having a cow on the throne. The head priest says that no harm can come to her until after the com-shuk, but that if she survives said thingy, the dissenting priests can have her head.
Sweeney: About those beheading jokes…
K: Out in the countryside somewhere, Angel and Lorne have arrived at Lorne’s family home. He reluctantly calls out to a big bearded demon, who promptly spits in his face. “Thanks, mom...” he says, and Angel’s all “WTF??” in the background. Lorne asks his mother if anything weird happened around the time he disappeared, and his mother replies that there was much rejoicing and his brother did “the dance of joy for three moons.” Said brother – who, I should add, is played by JOSS MOTHERFUCKING WHEDON – proceeds to do the dance of joy in the background, which is very distracting.
Sweeney: SO. FUCKING. PERFECT. I could watch this all day.
K: Right there with you. Lorne says that he was thinking more of flashy lights and swirly things. She doesn’t want a bar of it and basically tells him to GTFO and to take his cow (Angel) with him.
Luckily, Lorne’s cousin Landok turns up at that point to inform everyone that if it weren’t for Angel and his bravery and drokken killing skills, he’d be dead right about now. Lorne’s family proceed to welcome Angel with open arms. They give Angel a necklace and a cape, and he’s reluctant until they show him his reflection. Then he’s totally on board. Lorne, meanwhile, is gobsmacked. Landok leads Angel away, saying that he’ll be the guest of honour at a feast so they can show him off to the whole neighbourhood. The family walks off after him, leaving Lorne to trail sadly behind.
Back at the castle, the rest of the Fang Gang are in research mode. Wes says that entire passages seem to be missing before working out through some random contrivance that all the books are paranormal/dystopian YA novels and therefore trilogies – except worse because you need to read a paragraph from each in order to understand the content. He finds a passage about the Messiah, and suddenly Cordy’s interested. It’s about the com-shuk, which Wes says is a verb. “Something I’m going to do?” Cordy asks. “With a groosalug,” Wes concludes. Cordy’s all “WTF is that?” and Gunn chimes in to say that it sounds dirty. He and Cordy bicker a little while Wes notices that the three books in question have pictures on the front covers – a ram, a hart and a wolf. He rearranges the books, and Gunn gets a serious case of “ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS??” face, because Wolfram & Hart.
Sweeney: I continue to have somewhat similar feelings of, “What in the fucking what?” about all things related to Wolfram & Hart’s apparent omnipotence.
Lor: Yep. There is a definite, “OH COME ON.” quality about them for sure.
K: Agreed. Out in the town square, Lorne’s sitting on his own, drinking, while Angel tells tales of his daring heroics (chopping off Lindsey’s hand) (L: STILL BEST.) to Lorne’s family and neighbours. Lorne calls him over, and Angel reluctantly joins him. Lorne suggests that they get back to the castle, and Angel mopes because he has a captive audience. Landok comes over to ask Angel to tell the story of the creepy guy who could remove his limbs at will again, and NO THANK YOU. Once was enough. (S: This made me think of you. And laugh. (K: I’m glad my misery is memorable!)) Anyway, he follows up by saying that it’s time for the bach-nal and that Angel shall be the one to swing the crebbil. Angel goes off happily while Lorne chokes on his drink.
Back at the castle, Cordy’s pissed because Wes wants them to leave on account of the priests aren’t trustworthy. They shout at each other a little, and the priests turn up to ask if everything’s okay. Gunn asks what the hell a groosalug is, and the priest asks if Cordy’s had a vision. Wes pauses for a minute, then says that she has so they may as well tell her everything. The head priest says that the groosalugg has been summoned from the scum pits and will arrive by nightfall, and that everyone is anxious about the com-shuk. She pretends that she knows what it is but asks the head priest to define it for Wes and Gunn. “The com-shuk is a mating ritual,” he says.
Cordy freaks and makes up a feeble excuse to leave, but the head priest tells her that there are rebels around and that he’s doubled the castle guard. She dismisses them, and the minute the doors are closed, she looks at the guys and demands to leave instantly.
Out in the square, Angel is being carried around an altar-y looking thing with a “They like me, they really like me!” look on his face. This quickly fades when the crebbil is thrust into his hands, and turns out to be an axe. “Strike quickly and true, Angel. Then we can eat!” Landok says, and Angel looks down to see Fred with her head on the execution block. Fade to black.
After the Not Commercial Break, Angel looks horrified. Fred begs him to make it quick as Lorne’s family tell him what an honour it is for him to swing the crebbil. Angel takes off his cape and necklace and pulls Fred to her feet. Landok looks confused and asks if he’s going to swing the crebbil. “Only if you ask me to,” Angel replies. The townspeople attack, and Angel fights off the first couple before Lorne yells “STOP!” Everyone does, so he proceeds to sing “…in the name of love, before you break my heart.” Everyone covers their ears and falls to the ground in pain. Angel and Fred make a run for it as Lorne continues to sing. They jump on a horse and ride off just as some guards burst through the gate in a carriage. The guards hit Lorne in the gut on their way past.
Lor: Lorne continue to be fantastic. Musical heroics? I approve.
K: Although I kind of wish he’d picked a different song… The castle. Wes and Gunn are sneaking towards an exit, and Cordy follows them with an armful of loot wondering loudly why demons always want to impregnate her. The guys lift a stone hatch in the floor which leads to the sewers. Cordy’s all “No, thanks. I’ll take the demon impregnation.” Gunn lowers himself into the sewer with a groan. Wes follows. Cordy drops part of her loot and bends to pick it up, only to be confronted by the priests. A couple of guards close the hatch as the head priest informs her that the groosalug approaches.
Outside the castle, Wes and Gunn make their way out of the sewer. Gunn asks what the plan is from here, and Wes says they should find Angel. That’s our cue to cut over to Angel and Fred on horseback as tinkly fairytale music plays. Angel says they should probably stay on foot because it’s harder to track. They dismount and he pushes the horse away. He asks Fred if she’s okay.
She then runs off into some rock formations leaving Angel to trail behind her. (L: Also, HANDSOME ANGEL SHOTS!) He follows her into a cave, where she’s clearly been living. She crouches by the back wall of the cave, covering it in mathematical equations. He says that he won’t hurt her, but she crazies that one or other of them isn’t real and that she may or may not be dead.
Sweeney: A pretty legit reason to not feel up to talking right now. / this is sort of my pants-hating, reclusive nightmare. I often wonder how many steps shy of crazy I am.
K: A few steps further away than me, because at least you leave the house on a daily basis.
He asks about the equations on the wall, and she says that she saw them in a dream. He notices something on a table and picks up what turns out to be her driver’s license, letting him discover that she’s the girl from Cordy’s vision.
He mentions what he knows about her, and she starts to freak out because apparently being in Pylea for five years will do that to you. (L: Being in Pylea for three episodes is making me freak out a little. So yeah.) He says that he and his friends can get her out if they can only find the portal, and she says that she couldn’t save the other girl. Angel’s all “Cordy? Oh, she’s fine. They made her a princess.” and Fred’s all “WTF.” Fair.
With that, we head back to the castle where Cordy’s being prepared for the groosalug’s arrival. They’ve now put her in a spangly gold outfit much the same as her previous one. She freaks, saying that maybe they can just date for three or four years before the whole mating ritual thing? The head priest tells her that the groosalug has arrived. The doors open to reveal a horned Chewbacca, and Cordy panics. Until an armour-wearing guy with long hair and biceps for miles pushes past the horned Chewbacca and tells it to just put his luggage wherever. He kisses Cordy’s hand, and she swoons a little.
Out in the countryside, Fred crazies that she’s never been to the palace, but she’s seen it watching her. Some guards approach on horseback, and Angel throws Fred to the ground. He tells her that she might see something gross, but she needs to remember that he’s her friend. She crawls away, and he vamps out. Except that apparently vamping out works a little differently in Pylea – he ends up looking like an awkward hybrid of his regular vamp face, Lorne, and Werewolf Oz. He disembowels one guard with animalistic ferocity, and the other guard flees. “Bad things always happen here,” Fred says as Hybrid!Angel turns towards her with gore hanging from his fangs. But he just sniffs her and runs away.
Back at the castle, Groo is filling Cordy in on his background. He’s apparently an outcast from his village on account of being part cow and having that icky smile and those super gross biceps and that problem of not being able to boink anything that’s not human. Cordy’s pretty thrilled with all of that, and dismisses everyone but Groo. He continues, says that he tried to kill himself by entering contests of skill and daring, but failed because he ended up winning them all. She swoons some more until Narwek enters with a couple of guards and a bound and gagged Lorne. Cordy’s too busy swooning to pay attention, and tells Narwek to deal with it for her. “Execute the prisoner!” he tells the guards. At that, Cordy finally looks up. She yells at Narwek to stop, and issues a pardon. Lorne’s relieved right up until the point where she shoves him out the door so she can keep chatting to Groo. He asks where Wes and Gunn are, but Cordy doesn’t really care.
Lor: Can she bleed character development any faster?
K: I doubt it. Cut to Gunn and Wes in the forest. Wes hears something following them, and they assume a fighting stance. Hybrid!Angel appears and jumps at them. They fight him off, splitting his attention between them. Wes spots Angel’s tattoo through a convenient tear in his shirt, and starts calling out Angel’s name over and over. The tinkly fairytale music returns as we see a blood-covered hand. Hybrid!Angel straightens up, and the camera pans out to show us that the blood-covered hand belongs to Fred.
Fred, meanwhile, is leading Hybrid!Angel into her cave. Which sounds a lot dirtier than it really is… Anyway, he sees his reflection in a pool of water on the floor, and that’s enough to have him shift back to human. He collapses in a heap on the floor, shaking. Fade to black.
The castle. Groo has finally finished telling his story. Cordy’s hanging on every word, but says that she’s not his princess or anyone’s princess. She’s just an actress. He says that she declares herself to be a princess with her bearing and her beauty and the way she treats her subjects. She says that may be, but it’s not real. “Why not?” he asks. Cut to the priests throwing hissy fits. Apparently Cordy has called for parchment because she wants to make proclamations to do some good. They decide it’s time to send her a message.
Out in the forest, the rebels are trying to work out a way to send the princess a message. These mostly involve storming the castle.
Sweeney: 1430 for you, Kirsti.
K: How could I not?! Wes and Gunn are tied to a pole. Wes says that he can help because he knows the princess. They scoff, and he tells them to check his wallet. There’s a picture in there of him with Angel and Cordy, and awwwww. Wes says that he and Gunn can give any demands directly to Cordy, but the rebels have an intermediate step in mind – shoving the demands in the mouths of Wes and Gunn’s severed heads. Womp womp. Gunn is not impressed.
Back in the cave, Angel’s still shaking and gasping with tears in his eyes. Fred dabs at his neck and face with a wet rag, and Angel says that his friends saw what he really is, and that he can’t go back. She tells him that it’s okay and he can stay with her for as long as he wants.
The castle. Cordy’s making proclamations as Groo looks on. The priests enter, and one of them is carrying a silver cloche. Cordy tells them to get out because she didn’t order anything. The head priest tells Groo to leave, and he obeys. Cordy’s pissed, but the head priest says Groo understands the way things work in Pylea. Cordy says things are going to change thanks to her, and waves her proclamations. He says that she may have the visions, but she has no authority. He tells her to shut up, and she replies “PARDON me??” With that, he turns to the cloche and says “Don’t you feel you’ve done enough pardoning for one day?“. He lifts the cloche to reveal Lorne’s severed head. Cordy gasps in horror.
Fade to black.
Sweeney: I AM ALSO HORRIFIED. WHAT IN THE WHAT THIS HAD BETTER NOT BE A REAL THING. NOPE NOPE NOPE.
Lor: I AM FIRMLY WITH YOU ON THE NOT BELIEVING IT. This was a tad more enjoyable than any of the other Pylea episodes we’ve had so far, but Cordy annoyed me a lot this episode. I mean, I like her, “I’m an actress” and “the visions aren’t getting any easier,” but she made a lot of stupid decisions. These episodes have been playing a lot with the balance of jokey-jokes and deeper, darker stuff. I just don’t know about these episode, guys. I JUST DON’T KNOW.
K: Much like today’s episode of Buffy, this featured a lot of set up for the season finale. Still, it was fun to FINALLY add Fred and Groo to the cast of regulars, so I’m gonna go ahead and call that a win, despite the unexpected beheading.
Next time on Angel, will the gang be able to get back to Los Angeles? Find out in S02 E22 – There’s No Place Like Plrtz Glrb
I'm a 30-something librarian and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. Leader of Team Heartless Cow. I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and read more than is good for me.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
Nicole is the co-captain of Snark Squad and these days she spends most of her time editing podcasts. She spends too much time on Twitter and very occasionally vlogs and blogs. In her day job she's a producer, editor, director, and sometimes host of educational YouTube channels. She loves travel, maps, panda gifs, and semicolons. Writing biographies stresses her out; she crowd sourced this one years ago and has been using a version of it ever since. She would like to thank Twitter for their help.
