Pretty Little Liars S01 E20 – Always Check the Send Box

Previously: We got a little rage-y when the Rosewood police force insinuated Ian wouldn’t statutory rape anyone because he was a star athlete and Spencer was left looking mighty guilty.
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Someone to Watch Over Me

Sara: Spencer and Emily are returning to Spencer’s house from school when MariskaMom arrives to deliver very bad news. The police have issued a warrant and will now be going through the entire Hastings house, including Spencer’s room. She runs up there to stop them, but they’re boxing up all of her shit – diaries, laptop, notebooks. Can someone with a criminal justice degree please tell me if this would EVER happen based on the evidence they have on Spencer? Which is, none.

Spencer wants her mom to make them stop, but MariskaMom says they’re just doing their jobs. Ian shows up just in time to do a long, creepy stare into the room, while drinking a glass of milk. Wtf.

Lorraine: Dude, if I were MariskaMom, I’d be all, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DRINK YOUR MILK ELSEWHERE.” Because, seriously, why is he there? He would only be upstairs to watch the police raid Spencer’s room. AND WHY WOULD BE BRING MILK? FOR THE JOURNEY?

Sweeney: Right? I get that they don’t think he’s guilty of anything (EXCEPT, YOU KNOW, BEING WITH THEIR WAY UNDER AGED DAUGHTER) but, like, probably even if you think Spencer’s just crazy, you tell the guy who sets off your cray cray daughter to GTFO while she’s experiencing a traumatic event. Especially since he’s now just ruined milk for her FOREVER. 

Sara: SHH.

Aria comes downstairs for breakfast and finds Papa Cheater washing dishes. He says that PiperMom is going to come over for breakfast, so she can drive the kids to school, but Aria realizes what a lying liar he is when she finds two cups of already finished coffee on the kitchen table. “So the kitchen table sits in another dimension where that already happened?” When Papa Cheater deflects her questions, she figures out that he sneaked PiperMom into his room last night and she didn’t leave until this morning. Byron rolls it off by saying you can’t sneak someone into your own house, and any teenage girl in this situation is like DULY NOTED. (S: “But mom, PAPA CHEATER ON PLL SAID…”)

PiperMom shows back up, and Papa Cheater breaks the news that they’re busted. Aria seems really giddy about this development, and it makes me sad for her because these situations don’t usually work out like the kids want them to. When Mike comes downstairs, his parents tell him that they might be getting back together and they’ll discuss it over dinner. I hope they’re really serious about this, because otherwise, the hopes of their kids will be dashed a second time.

Lor: Sooo, we’re putting our money on the hopes of their kids being dashed a second time then, yeah? Cool.

Sara: Fingers crossed! Over at Hanna’s house, she’s cooking breakfast for Caleb because they are adorable. When Caleb leaves to take a shower, Ashley warns Hanna not to let Caleb make her late for school, and that is probably a metaphor about getting her heart broken. (L: A+)

Hanna goes to put something in Caleb’s backpack and runs across a very pretty owl charm wrapped in pink paper. Of course, she immediately assumes he bought her a present.

Later, at lunch, Hanna is showing the other PLLs a picture of the owl and she is so excited and giddy, and it’s the cutest. Aria asks when he gave it to her, and Hanna is like, “LOL. No. He didn’t actually give it to me yet, duh.” I’ve totally done this! Emily asks what the owl means, and Hanna says it represents the night they had in the tent. Aw. This is going nowhere good, I’m sure. Traumaland just loves making losing your virginity have horrible consequences.

Lor: Talk to Buffy freakin’ Summers about that one, Hanna.

Sara: Emily asks if they’ve had a chance to Tent (ahem) again, but Hanna says they haven’t, since Caleb is in the guest room. +1 to the PLLs for being so adorable and real-friend-like in this scene.

Paige and Sean are sitting at lunch together, getting their flirt on, when the girls notice them. Emily has an upset look, and Hanna tells her not to worry – Sean is a great guy, and he deserves a new girlfriend, especially since Hanna is so happy with her new boyfriend. Emily doesn’t explain that her problem is with Paige, not Sean.

Spencer shows up at lunch, because she couldn’t stand to watch the cops tear apart her house anymore. MariskaMom thinks the cops only got the warrant to shake Spencer’s nerves. They took jewelry, clothes, and shoes, but Spence’s mom refused to let them take her laptop since it wasn’t in the search warrant. She warns the girls that they might have their houses searched next. Getting a search warrant is SO EASY OMG.

Lor: I’MMA GET A SEARCH WARRANT FOR EVERYONE! YOU GET ONE, AND YOU GET ONE.

 

Sara: Spencer has to head back home, and the girls start to walk her to her car. Aria tells them she’ll catch up in a minute and proceeds to write a text to her Adult Boyfriend: “Thinking of your eyes. How I want to be looking into them right now. This second. XO Aria.”

Unfortunately, Aria is only 16 and has not yet learned that before you send a flirty / sexy / nudey text message, you ALWAYS CHECK THE SEND TO BOX APPROXIMATELY SEVENTEEN TIMES, not that I’ve ever done this before. So the text message actually went to Aria’s mom, and let’s just all thank Jesus that it was only a cheesy lame text and not a sexual one, yeah?

Lor: Or something like, “you make me feel like I’m old enough to drink. Rawr.”

Sara: Sean stops Emily in the hallway at school to ask if Paige is seeing anybody, because he’s interested in dating her. Awkward. Em says they aren’t really friends, so he should probably ask someone else. “We swim on the same team, but I don’t really know her that well.” I see what you did there.

She also does some awesome friending by telling Sean that Hanna is perfectly okay with him dating other people and she really means it.

Aria is having lunch in her mom’s classroom when her mom reminds her of Sara’s Rule of ALWAYS CHECK THE SEND TO BOX. PiperMom is kind of giggling about it, but Aria is fuh-reaking out, and it’s funny. PiperMom is so cute and hilarious, asking Aria about the owner of these beautiful eyes and saying she’ll have to start watching kids in the hallway to figure out who it is. Aria tells her it’s private, not very kindly, and PiperMom deletes the text. Aria says if PiperMom and Papa Cheater can have secrets, so can she. Poor Piper looks hurt, since she was just trying to have a fun mother/daughter conversation. Aw.

As soon as Aria gets home from school, she tears her room apart, hiding all of the things she has that are Ezra-related in a large purse. She starts to put a book away that has an inscription on the inside cover: “When you need to leave Rosewood… Ezra.” She changes her mind, though, and decides to put the book back on her side table, because apparently she’s just itching to get caught.

Spencer is doing some computery things when Toby shows up to be hot. And to tell Spence that there’s a police car sitting across from her house right now. OH COME ON. THIS TOWN. Whatever.

Spencer tells Toby that the police think she killed Alison. He tells her he knows she didn’t do it, and she’s glad there’s at least someone who’s on her side. Toby asks if Spencer has any coffee, and she says that she always has coffee. A girl after my heart! Toby tells her the coffee isn’t for them, but for the cops sitting outside. Toby says the cops need to know that Spencer sees them and that she isn’t afraid of them.

Spencer tries to explain to Toby why she’s a suspect in the murder, but all she can really come up with is “…because of reasons.” And also, the Rat Blood Trophy. She tells Toby that he doesn’t have to hang out with her, because it will just make him look bad, too. He says that people cross the street when they see him coming, and she has police sitting outside her house – who else are they going to hang out with? Aw, Spoby.

Lor: You are aw-ing a lot this episode! I feel the saw way. Many aws.

Sweeney: Joining the aw-train because this was the cutest thing! Accused murderer romance!

Sara: Emily finds Paige at school — WAIT. How are they still at school?? Didn’t Aria just get home and deFitzify her room? Whatever. Emily finds Paige at school, and Paige is like, “Yeah, I guess it’s kind of weird since you’re Hanna’s friend and Hanna dated Sean…” Emily kind of smirks and is like, “Yeah, that’s not the weird part?” Paige just tries to walk away, but Emily tells her about the conversation she had with Sean earlier. Paige says that Sean did ask her out, and she said yes. She walks off, and Emily’s poor, poor face looks so sad. UGH. PAIGE.

PiperMom and Papa Cheater are walking down the street, discussing the family dinner they’ll have tonight. PiperMom mentions that Aria might be seeing someone, and Papa Cheater is really annoying about how they have to find out who it is. PiperMom says that Aria will tell them when she’s ready, and she’s being such a great mom here! Granted, if she knew it was Ezrafitz, she would probably be asking Aria way more questions, but it’s pretty natural to assume your teenage kid is dating another teenage kid and not her English teacher.

Aria brings the Bag of Ezra to Emily at school and asks her to keep it. Emily starts pulling weird items out of the bag for explanation, and it would be high school cute/funny if it wasn’t for the whole illegal part.

Sweeney: Kind of the story of their relationship. “Would be high school cute/funny, if Ezrafitz were like 16 and not her English teacher.”

Sara: Aria and Emily hear Caleb talking on the phone and creep over to eavesdrop.

“I know what I said but it’s different now… I don’t think she is who you say she is… I can’t do it tonight… Because I’m living in her house and you keep calling… It’s gotta stop.”

The girls exchange sad faces as Caleb walks off. CALEB. Do you not remember the threats MamaMarin and the Snark Squad gave you last week?

Later, at lunch, the girls have told Hanna what they heard, and she is not happy. Aria and Emily think it sounded like Caleb was on the phone with a girl, and Hanna says that can’t be right. They must have heard wrong, especially after they just… Hanna can’t even bring herself to say it. Probably it’s because I just watched The Virgin Suicides last night, but I can’t stop comparing this to Kirsten Dunst getting left on the football field by stupid Josh Hartnett. Sads.

 

Spencer tells the girls that they might just be being paranoid, since the whole world is out to get them, which is fairly true. But of course, right then, Blind!Jenna comes click clacking in with a beautiful owl around her neck. The very owl that Hanna found in Caleb’s backpack that morning. Fade to black.

After the Not Commercial Break, Hanna is trying to get a hold of Caleb, but he isn’t answering his phone. Emily says that if he hurts Hanna, he’s going to be a dead man and Spencer gives her a look like, If anyone is killing Caleb, it damn well better be me. Might as well go down in a flame of glory, girl!

Lor: You already got the police up in your grill!

Sara: Emily is walking into the bathroom when she hears Paige talking to another girl at the sinks. The girl is congratulating Paige on getting Sean to start dating again, and Paige is going along with it. (Whether she really likes Sean is yet to be revealed. I mean, she could be bisexual, right?) Emily walks off, hurt.

Spencer is walking through the courtyard and spots Jenna working on her computer. She walks up like she’s about to say something but then sees Jenna pull the owl off of her necklace and put it in the computer because SURPRISE! It’s a USB flash drive. Spencer is in Oh Shit mode and walks off quickly, and Blind!Jenna probably knows exactly who it is based on the timing of her footsteps. Jenna is like a superhero or something. Or not blind.

Lor: Definitely a superhero. JUST KIDDING. NOT BLIND.

Sara: Spencer gathers the PLLs to discuss whether or not they think Caleb has been passing Jenna information about them. Yay! Another suspect! They wonder if Caleb was the person talking to Jenna on the phone when Toby overheard the 2-1-4 thing. Spencer says, “Caleb + Jenna = A” which is quite a jump, but that is Spencer’s thing.

Hanna insists that this is all bullshit, but Spencer points out that it is odd that he hasn’t been at school or spoken to Hanna all day. She says they don’t know for sure, but Em says they do. GIRLS. You remember doing the same thing to Toby, right? And Noel?

Lor: At least those guys did everything creepy! Caleb’s just been wolfy and hot. D:

Sara: Hanna is leaving a note in Caleb’s locker, hoping that he’ll call her later. She starts to walk off, but decides to go back and see if his locker will open with the 2-1-4 combination. Unfortunately, it does, which can only mean that he really was the person on the phone with Jenna. More sads.

In the next scene, we jump right into the Hanna / Caleb confrontation which is awesome. I love how things don’t take long to go down on this show. Caleb is saying that Jenna offered him money to follow Hanna around and listen to her conversations. He assumed that it was just some bitchy teen girl situation, instead of the Big. Damn. Deal. it actually is. Once she started asking him questions that went too far, he realized he couldn’t do it anymore. And also because he started to really have feelings for her. Sounds familiar.

Lor: Also known as four movies I watch every single time they are on TV.

Sweeney: That’s not even optional. You have to watch.

Sara: Hanna ain’t got time for Caleb’s bullshit excuse, and she calls him out for giving Jenna his locker combination. Because yeah, I remember high school, and that shit was Girlfriend Territory. He tells her that he only gave it to her, so she could put the flash drive in his locker. When Hanna asks what he put on the drive, he says that it was just junk. Jenna thinks it’s the logs from Hanna’s cell phone, but Caleb put fake logs on it instead.

He reaches out to touch Hanna, and she slaps his hand away, telling him not to touch her. Before Caleb leaves, he looks like he’s about to try that make-them-not-angry-anymore-by-kissing-the-crap-out-of-them thing, but Hanna is way beyond that right now, so he just exits.

Spencer and Toby are sitting in her living room, talking about the Hanna / Caleb situation, while a lovely cover of Sea of Love plays in the background. Toby says he feels bad because he’s part of what’s happening to the girls. Spencer says it’s more like they’re the ones fucking up his life, which yeah. That is kind of true.

Sweeney: At least she owns it.

Sara: Spencer tells a story about running away from home when she was seven. She had gotten in a fight with Melissa, and her parents took Melissa’s side. She packed a tuna fish sandwich and ran away to the movies. The movie was about an animated princess, and there was singing involved. She says that she ate her sandwich, got lonely, and came back home. (I just did entirely too much research to figure out what movie Spencer saw that day, but I got nothing. No princess movies released in theaters in 2002, writers. Try again.)

Toby asks if her parents were worried, but Spencer says they hadn’t even noticed she was gone. (L: AW.) Toby tells her if she ever has the urge to run away again, she should call him first. He reaches out to hold her hand, and MY HEART IS MELTING IN MY CHEST. Troian was phenomenal in that scene; I could watch this girl act all day, she is just that good. And I’m also noticing in this episode that Keegan Allen has improved leaps and bounds since the earlier episodes. Looks like someone’s started working with his acting coach! (L: And finally cut off the furry animal that was hibernating on his head.)

“Sea of Love” leads us into Aria’s room, where Papa Cheater is sneaking around, looking for evidence about the boy she’s interested in. He picks up the book with the inscription from EzraFitz, but before he can look at it, PiperMom walks in and gives him a healthy dose of Guilt about snooping. Having been the victim of Parents Inappropriately Snooping at one time, I’m gonna have to side with PiperMom on this one.

Papa Cheater says that he’s only doing it to protect Aria, but PiperMom defends her, saying that maybe Aria learned about keeping secrets from her parents, AHEM LIKE THE TIME YOU TOLD HER TO LIE ABOUT YOUR AFFAIR. Papa Cheater is like, “Why you so mad? I thought we were over that,” and PiperMom is like, “LOL. Um, no.”

Sweeney: I love that in Papa Cheater’s head it’s all, “Well, like, we had a conversation about it that one time so now you’re totally over it, right?” OK. Sure. I think he’s looking for a more Anastasia Steele-type significant other.

Sara: Their conversation gets a little heated, and right then, Mike walks by, looking disappointed. Damn it, I told you guys this was going to happen!

MariskaMom is talking to Spencer in her room about how the search warrant will probably be thrown out, since they don’t have anything to go on. Spencer questions why the police are focusing so much on her, and MariskaMom responds that once they found out she was involved with was being statutorily raped by Ian (fixed it!), she went to the top of their suspect list.

Back at school, Hanna is telling Aria and Emily that all of their suspicions about Caleb were true. In the middle of their conversation, Blind!Jenna comes click clacking in, as usual. The girls go to leave, but Hanna whispers that she wants to talk to her. And by ‘talk’, she means SLAP JENNA IN HER MOTHERFREAKING FACE AND IT IS FANTASTIC AND HER SUNGLASSES FLY ACROSS THE ROOM.

 

Lor: OH MY GOD. BLIND OR NOT, BITCH DID NOT SEE THAT COMING.

Sweeney: NEITHER DID I.

Sara: Hanna picks up her sunglasses and puts them into Jenna’s hand. “This is Hanna, in case you couldn’t guess.” IN CASE YOU COULDN’T GUESS BY THE FEEL OF MY HAND ON YOUR FACE, BITCH. (L: LOLOLOL.) I’m sorry, this is just really exciting, and I can’t contain my emotions/caps lock right now, y’all.

Emily and Aria’s reactions are equally as awesome:

 

Lor: I haven’t made an official list or anything, because we suck at ranking, but I can only recall any Joffrey slaps being greater slaps. But this is like close to that. That’s a big compliment.

Sweeney: I second that compliment.

Sara: At Aria’s house that night, Mike comes into her room and accuses her of doing something to make their parents start fighting again. He begs her to break up with the guy they were talking about, or at least lie that she broke up with him – anything to keep their parents together. She says it’s more complicated than that, but promises that everything will be fine when they have dinner together that night.

They go downstairs for dinner, and Papa Cheater is putting away the extra set of dishes. He tells the kids that PiperMom isn’t up to dinner that night, but they’ll plan it for a different night. He then immediately changes the subject to what they’re eating for dinner. I am not happy with this development at all. I think it’s pretty shitty on both parents that they got their kids all hyped up for a family dinner and then jumped ship when they got upset with each other. I understand that kids can’t be dragged into marital problems, but y’all can’t even sit down and have a meal together, since that’s what you promised Aria and Mike?

Sweeney: Shitty, self-involved parents who give no fucks about the emotional impact their decisions have on their children? Sounds like Traumaland Parenting!

Sara: Emily wakes up the next day to a text from Paige: “R U Busy?” Emily, you can do better than someone who can’t even spell out the words ‘are’ and ‘you’.

Lor:

Sara: Spencer comes in from her morning jog to find Ian creepily sitting on the sofa, in the dark. He doesn’t have a glass of milk this time, but hey, we can’t win ’em all. Ian creeps that his parents were worried Spencer might have run away, and she snarks that she’s thankful for his concern. He suggests that maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea for her to run away. He tells her that they’re family, so they need to be honest with each other because he only wants to protect her.

Spencer figures out that he wants to help her run away. “Oh, that would be great for you. She ran away; she must be guilty. If I disappeared, that would clear up everything for you, wouldn’t it?” He tells her that time is running out, so she should take the help wherever she can get it. Girls, srsly, can you please invest in some recording devices?! Maybe a nanny cam or something?!

Emily brings Paige up to her room, where Paige admires her window seat and says she always wanted one. Girl, on this we can agree.

 

Emily asks how the date with Sean went, and Paige says it was great and that Sean is a really nice guy. Until he kissed her. Then she felt like the whole night had been phony. (L: I think that’s code for she threw up in her mouth a little.) He went home, and she texted Em. Emily tells Paige that Sean is nice, and she shouldn’t lead him on. Paige thinks it’s easy for Emily to say that, because she’s fearless. Em kind of laughs at that, and says she’s afraid of a lot of things. Paige says she was brave enough to come out of the closet, but Emily clarifies that she fell out of the closet, onto her face.

Paige says that if she says the words out loud – “I’m gay” – the whole world will change. Emily tells her that when she was trying to convince herself to be into guys, she used to go for guys like Paige. The kind of guys that would pull her up on stage to sing karaoke, because it’s the kind of thing she would never do on her own. They kiss and hold hands, and I really, really hope that Paige will come out of the closet soon, because all of that felt very genuine and sweet.

Hanna is in her room crying. MORE SADS. MamaMarin hears her crying, and asks through the door why Caleb’s things are gone. Hanna simply says that he left and asks her mom to leave her alone for now.

MariskaMom wakes Spencer to tell her that the search warrant is most likely to be thrown out now, but the police did find something. Spencer’s name bracelet had some threads caught in it, and those threads were from Toby’s sweater, the one with the blood stains on it that Alison was wearing the night she died. Spencer asks if MariskaMom thinks she’s guilty, and she non-answers that someone is going to a great deal of trouble to make Spencer look guilty. Spencer breaks down in tears and sobs in her mother’s arms. Things are not looking great for our Spencer.

A-nonymous: A picks up a glass heart with Hanna’s name on it and breaks it with a hammer before putting it back in a box with glue and a note.

 

Next time: Even more secrets from our Liars and the people they love on Pretty Little Liars S01 E21 – Monsters in the End.