Pretty Little Liars S02 E04 – You should’ve known, girl.

Previously: Toby got a job building a fence for Jason, which was dumb but fitting, since Jason is now getting the Toby Edit.
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Blind Dates

Lorraine: Spencer goes back to the pawn shop to get Melissa’s wedding ring. The shop owner is surprised to see her. We pan out of the shop and see that Emily, Aria and Hanna are waiting for their friend out in the skeevy alley, prepared to give us the Early Episode Exposition: Dr. Ex-Fiance Wren gave Melissa something unidentified last episode and Emily got a fake scholarship letter from A.

Back inside the pawn shop, the owner hands Spencer back a horseshoe. Spencer freaks out and says she gave him a ring, though he plays dumb and says not according to her ticket. Spencer demands that he find her ring, and he hits her with a, “or what? You gonna call the police?” It’s terrifying and upsetting because this adult is cheating her and then mocking her about how there are n0 trustworthy adults she can turn to.

Evil.

Sweeney: All adults seem to fall somewhere on a continuum from oblivious to evil. Remember that, kids!

Lor: We cut outside and we see the Evil Pawn Shop Owner flipping over his “open” sign to “closed.” I guess cheating a minor is a full day’s work. Spencer is freaking out to her friends, and Hanna tries to bright side that at least she got her money back. Spencer says that this means she stole her sister’s wedding ring. On cue, A sends them a mass text: Just my luck. Diamonds are a girl’s best friend. – A.

Sara: I don’t even feel sorry for Spencer right now. You shoulda known, girl.

Lor: They all look around like they always do, like they don’t understand that you can text someone from pretty much anywhere. This time, though, looking around proves useful as they spot a Gatsby-esque advertisement for a Dr. Lars Thorwald. Under the eyes is the slogan, “Someone’s watching you so look your best…”

SHHHHH.

Aria is at home grabbing her school books when Piper Mom walks in and says that breakfast is fancy pancakes, which clearly means things are getting back to normal in Chez Montgomery. Typing out “Chez Montgomery” (and trying to decide if I could get away with “Montgomery Manse”) (S: YES.) (L: OKAY.) made me think about the different girls’ house sets. We usually see the Marin kitchen, the Hastings living room/kitchen and Spencer’s room, Emily’s room, and Aria’s room with the occasional kitchen shots. Strange.

Mike shows up on screen long enough to decline breakfast and run away. Aria says Mike will be fine because at least he has friends. That’s quite the non-sequitur, Aria, but okay fine. Piper Mom tells her she’ll be fine and they are just keeping the Liars apart for their own good. We get a little more back-and-forth that reveals that Piper Mom will be starting as a full time teacher at Rosewood High, taking over Ezrafitz’s class. Aria looks shocked, and I can only imagine it’d be awkward for your English teacher to go from your pedobear lover to your mom.

Sara: Like, how is Piper Mom going to deliver long, awkward speeches that have double meanings about her love for a child? Or how is Aria going to remember that “Can I see you after class?” isn’t about getting her flirt on anymore? Being a teenager is hard.

Lor: In the Hastings House, Melissa is riffling through some things and she has a passport on hand. Spencer is watching her and finally asks if she’s going somewhere. Melissa twitchily answers that it’s Ian’s passport and that she needs it for the insurance claim on her ring. Spencer says that it’ll show up, and Melissa only says, “I’d rather find my husband.” If Melissa is truly seeing Ian somewhere, these extra guilt trips are extra evil. Where’s that Melissa knock out gif?

I feel better.

Sweeney: Me too. Good call.

Sara: I meant to interject last time that I have actually seen this episode, and this very scene from OTH, and it is just as terrible as you could ever imagine – maybe worse.

Lor: At the Marin Manor, Hanna tells her mom that she’ll be home after school since she has no friends. This reminds Mama Marin that she was recently speaking to MariskaMom and Hanna is the only one who hasn’t had a solo session with Señora Therapy. Hanna doesn’t want to go, but Mama Marin puts her foot down. She has to go after school.

Emily is also getting ready for school when her mom walks in with a package full of Danby paraphernalia. Her mom assumes that it’s from the recruiter Emily talked to, but the note included says, “So happy to have you on our A-Team.” “A” is underlined in case you are watching this show and are slow.

 

Sara: I mean, this is pretty nice of A, Emily. Things could be worse?

Lor: Ask Spencer, or keep watching the episode.

Lucas is picking at his food and Hanna sits down with him. Lucas says he’s not in the eating mood because he’s really nervous about his date with Yearbook Danielle, and he’s really off his game. Hanna points out that he doesn’t have any game (burn), so Lucas huffs away and says he’s calling the date off. Hanna tries to convince him that it’ll be fun, and this inspires Lucas to ask Hanna to come with him, and to bring Caleb for a double date. Hanna says no, but Lucas plays the “you got me into this mess,” card. I try to like Lucas, but he’s got shadiness in his face. And he’s a whiny bitch.

Sweeney: BUT HE’S TEAM HALEB! I mean, yeah, whiny bitch for reals, but his pro-Haleb efforts win him lots of my support.

Lor: In the hallways, Spencer is telling Emily that she’s going to do some unspecified, unsafe something after school. It must be a day that ends in day. Hanna and Aria are walking just behind those two, and Piper Mom pops out of her classroom to talk to Aria. So apparently the girls decided to walk by Aria’s mom’s classroom together. I think they are sharing a brain and it usually resides in Spencer’s head, but is still too overworked to worry about things like “details.”

Sweeney: Epic levels of stupid! In general, they should be infinitely more careful at school now that PiperMom is there, but walking by her classroom? For fuck’s sake, girls. Get it together.

Lor: They should’ve known.

The girls all give PiperMom super guilty looks, because in addition to being together, they don’t keep walking away when she appears. Oh, no! They stop and stare at PiperMom. Aria’s all, “we were just saying goodbye!” but PiperMom says that isn’t what she wanted to talk about, so the other Liars leave. PiperMom asks Aria to drop off some keys to Mike after school, because he forgot his keys at home. And also, Aria probably shouldn’t even look at her friends in the hallway.

In the cafeteria, Lucas thinks about sitting with Yearbook Danielle but punks out. Hanna scoffs at the scene and Caleb (!) appears behind her to say that their date is going to be a disaster. Hanna says that Caleb should help him out since they are “bro-mates.” Caleb and Hanna sit down together and Caleb casually brings up the fact that Lucas wants them to go with him. Hanna says that isn’t happening, until they spot Lucas being a spazz across the cafeteria. She relents, but makes it clear to Caleb that they are going to strictly act as Lucas’s wingpeople. Caleb says he understands, but gives an adorable, satisfied smile when Hanna leaves.

Sara: SWOON. Can we age check again, just to make me feel better about myself?

Lor: Tyler Blackburn – 1986. WE GOOD.

We get an establishing shot of a hospital. Spencer is inside and she finds Dr. Ex-Fiance, Wren (!). Wren is with some girl and Spencer gives her the most hilarious, “could you, like, not be here right now?”

I love her.

Sweeney: She’s the best! I wish I could gif my actual life. You know, just hand this to someone and wait for them to walk away.

Sara: I would be perfectly content being Spencer in GIF form for the rest of my life.

Lor: Once alone, Spencer gets straight to business and asks Wren what he gave Melissa. Wren ushers Spencer aside and tells her it’s complicated. She fills him on the fact that Ian tried to kill her. Wren had no idea, but does admit that Melissa came to him looking for medical supplies, saying that Ian wouldn’t tell her where he was until she had the drugs. A+ husband right there. I can see why she’s in such a hurry to find him.

Wren says he only helped because he feels partly responsible that Melissa rebounded with Ian. Besides, he didn’t give Melissa everything she asked for, because smuggling some of the painkillers could’ve cost him his job. Wren didn’t know Spencer was involved. He doesn’t want to see her get hurt. Spencer’s all, “GOOD. I need your help.” Wren says that bad things happen when he gets involved with the Hastings sisters. I mean, granted, he did kiss the baby sister last time which is what caused the problems, but at least he learned his lesson?

He refuses to help.

After a Not Commercial Break, Señora Therapy is sitting in awkward silence with Hanna. After a bit, she asks Hanna if she’s talked to her friends about what therapy is like, which is a trick question considering she was the one who recommended they stay apart. Hanna is snippy with her, but Señora Therapy insists that she can help Hanna. She tries to get Hanna to pretend Alison is in the room, and to talk to her. Hanna’s all, “times up!” and gets up and leaves.

We get a long montage of boys playing basketball. Aria walks into the shot as she’s leaving a message for Mike. Jason DiLaurentes is playing basketball, but Mike is nowhere to be found. In fact, a handy extra with a SAG card tells us he hasn’t seen Mike for months. Aria’s about to leave, but a ball rolls over to her. She picks it up and hands it over to Jason. He chats with her for a while, and he’s got some great abs. If part of the Toby Edit is having Toby Abs, let the creepy suspects roll in.

Sara: We’re gonna need about a dozen more suspects then.

Sweeney: TOBY EDITS FOR EVERYONE.

Lor: Jason says something about how he remembers Aria’s pink hair, and he always thought she was really cool for being so totally original like. I’m not sure what the point of this conversation is. Maybe Aria will now think Jason is an upstanding citizen because he liked her pink hair? How old is Jason? Old enough to be attracted to Aria? IDK.

Sweeney: It felt like the whole point was to set Aria up with another potential love interest, but in the most awkward way possible. Granted, that is the next stage in Toby Edit: you get a PLL to have feelings for you, so we can decide you’re totes great. Wrong PLL, Jason. Nobody cares what Aria thinks.

Lor: Samara tracks Emily down after a swim meet and gushes about how great she was. She also congratulates her for being recruited to Danby. Emily freaks and wants to know how she heard about that. Apparently, Mama Fields shared the news with everyone at the pool. Emily doesn’t look happy and confesses to Samara that she wrote the letter. I may be imagining it, but Samara looks mildly impressed. Mama Fields shows up at that point to congratulate Emily on her success. Emily introduces her to Samara, and she’s perfectly lovely to her, and even invites her over for dinner. Aw, Mama Fields. You keep making those strides.

Spencer gets home and there is a note taped to the front door from MariskaMom that says, “we love Melissa more than you, so please take care of her as we will be late tonight.” Something like that.

Spencer heads straight to the barn to check up on her sister. The door is ajar and when she walks in, she can hear the shower running. There is also a suitcase right by the door. Spencer starts rifling through it and finds his and hers clothing plus all the medical supplies and Ian’s passport. The shower stops so Spencer quickly zips the luggage back up and runs out. Melissa comes running out a second later calling after her, but Spencer stays hidden.

Spencer is telling Aria the story later that night via phone call and the girls wonder where Ian could be and why Melissa would be rushing off to meet a murderer. Spencer wishes she could just go to Aria’s house. Aria agrees, seeing as she’s home alone and in Rosewood that’s like the creepiest situation for a girl under 18. Spencer’s parents get home so she ends the call.

Aria gets up and looks at a framed picture of her family from when she had pink hair. She strokes the pink hair longingly. I’m not making that part up. Someone gets home, and Aria calls out to whoever it is, but there is no answer. It turns out to be Mike, and he scares her, because he’s a little douche and he probably killed Alison. Aria tries to confront him about where he’s been when he isn’t playing basketball and he says, “places.” Aria tells him he’ll need a better answer for when his parents eventually find out. Mike threatens that if she tells them, he’s going to tell about how she’s been meeting secretly with the other Liars. Aria asks why he’s being such a jerk, seeing as how their family is getting back together. Mikes answers that fancy pancakes do not a family make.

They are delicious, though, Mike, so maybe shut up.

Sweeney: Word. Your lack of respect for the deliciousness of pancakes is the shadiest thing about you. There are many shady things, but this is reason #1 that you’ve gone on the list of People Who Are Probably A. Reason #2 is that the list is Everyone In Rosewood Who Isn’t A PLL, but that’s not the point.

Sara: At this point, I wouldn’t even put it past one of the PLLs to end up as A.

Lor: They all did it.

The Hanna/Lucas double date is underway; they’ve met up at Hanna’s house before the movie. Hanna is offering Lucas and Yearbook Danielle refills on their drinks and it’s all awkward. Inside, Caleb notes as much, though Hanna insists that Danielle is into Lucas.

Back outside, Danielle says that the dates blows. She likes Lucas well enough, but having beautiful Hanna Marin in the background probably isn’t ideal. She thinks Hanna still likes Lucas. He stupidly asks why she’d bring Caleb along then, because apparently he forgot that he was the one who said, “BRING CALEB.” Yearbook Danielle says this is all a plot to make Lucas jealous.

Emily is showing Samara a scrapbook. They are being all cute when Mama Fields walks in. Samara wins mega-Mom points when she asks about Mama Fields’s scrapbooking techniques. Mama Fields says she wants to start a Rosewood to Danby scrapbook next, and even wants to call the scout and ask him for a tour of the campus. Emily gets all fidgety and it looks like she’s about to confess, but Samara jumps in. She says that with Emily’s times, she’ll get tons of other great offers from other schools. She shouldn’t tie herself to Danby, and calling the scout would give the impression that she is. Mama Fields seems to think that this makes sense, so I’ll roll with it too.

Sara: Aw, I like Samara! She works Mama Fields way better than Maya ever did.

Lor: Back at Hanna’s, Yearbook Danielle takes a pee break so Lucas comes over to be a big whiny bitch about how no one sees him for who he really is wah wah pansy wah. I have no idea what his problem is right now because it’s somewhere between Danielle thinking that Hanna still likes him and Danielle not liking him. Maybe both. Danielle comes back out and Lucas helps her into her jacket while Caleb and Hanna wonder what they can do to help him. Hanna tells Caleb to put his arm around her, and he does. Danielle notes this, and grabs Lucas’s hand in response. Once they are out of view, Hanna shrugs Caleb off, but he still has that great, satisfied, wolfy bad boy smile.

Spencer is doing homework! I love when we see her doing homework. (S: Me too! The show is all, “Look, she actually goes to classes at school!”) It’s interrupted though when she hears a door. She looks out her window and sees Melissa putting her luggage in the trunk of her car.

We cut to Wren in a supply closet, talking to Melissa on the phone, saying he thought about it and he fears Ian may have a staph infection. He says he’ll bring whatever medicine is necessary, but only if he can come with to see Ian personally. Wren hangs up and tells Spencer, who was standing off screen this whole time, that Melissa bought the story. Melissa doesn’t know where Ian is, but when she finds out, she will call Wren first thing. Spencer will be following right behind them.

Sara: Damn. Spence is good.

Lor: The next morning, Lucas stops by to say thank you to Hanna for what she did. He says that Hanna’s changed a lot from being just one of Alison’s posse. What she did, she did for Lucas and for no other reason. Hanna looks thoughtful and we cut to her paying Señora Therapy a visit.

Papa Cheater offers Aria a ride to school, saying it used to be fun. She accepts. Mike douches out of his room and Papa Cheater asks him how his basketball game went. He says it was great and even says that Aria watched for a few minutes. Ooof. Dick move. Aria looks like she swallowed rocks, but gives a tight lip smile and nod. Papa Cheater offers Mike a ride to school as well, but he declines and continues on his douchey little way.

Sweeney: His douchey pancake hating little way.

Lor: We’ll never forget the pancakes.

Hanna is telling Señora Therapy that Alison is still with her more than she’d like. Being Alison’s friend was work, and you often had to do things to try to impress her. Señora Therapy wants to know why she’d want to maintain that kind of friendship, and Hanna says Alison could make you feel special and that seemed worth it. Señora Therapy asks what Hanna would like to say to Alison. Hanna turns to an empty chair and “talks to Alison.”

Alison. You were the best friend I ever had and that meant a lot to me. You meant a lot to me. But you were also the worst enemy I ever had and I can’t believe it took me this long to realize that.

Señora Therapy asks how Alison would respond to that. The empty chair swivels around and Alison is in it, looking particularly beautiful. Alison: “Well look at you. All independent and in touch with your feelings. I’ll bet you’re pretty impressed with yourself right now, aren’t you?” 

Alison replies that it’s because she has Señora Therapy now, though Hanna says she doesn’t need her either. Ali says she needs someone though because low self esteem leads to Hefty Hanna. Hanna says she has real friends and Alison bites back, “you have what I gave you.” She says that the other Liars are going to move on but Hanna never will, and all she’ll have left is Alison. Hanna says she’d rather be alone, and Alison says she won’t last a week. Hanna: At least I’ll be alive. You can’t reach into my life anymore. Not unless I let you. You’re gone and I am so over missing you. Alison just glares.

Sweeney: Ooh, she played the dead card on the figment of her imagination! Way harsh, Tai.

Sara: I adore Hanna here. She always seems like the weak one, but right now, she’s the strongest of all of them.

Lor: Not to get too deep for a Pretty Little Liars episode (we save that shit for Sunnydale), but it’s interesting that we’ve seen this weakness from Hanna consistently. She complains about not having a life outside of the Liars, and we see here that she fears that they will all move on. Spencer has her smarts, Emily has her swimming, Aria has her pedolationship (okay, art, or whatever) and what does that leave Hanna with? She’s the one always sticking up for their friendship and the vital part that friendship plays in her life, because it’s all she has.

When Hanna turns back to face Señora Therapy, she’s smiling so I’m not really sure if this all happened in her head or what the fuck just happened. I mean, I’m glad that Hanna is making progress and everything, but this scene was crazy.

At school, Samara tracks down Emily, who snarks for me with a “have you transferred here and didn’t tell me?” Samara avoids the question with a “I thought about it.” My follow up question would be, “girl, don’t you need an education?” but Emily doesn’t go there. Samara just wanted to check up on Emily after the lie they sold Mama Fields the night before. It worked well enough so Samara tells Emily to enjoy it for now.

Later that night, Señora Therapy arrives at her office and it’s been thoroughly trashed. On her wall in red paint is “Nosy Bitches Die.”

Spencer gets a call from Wren, as he finally heard from Melissa. She knows where Ian is. Spencer says she’s on her way, and doesn’t let Wren finish his sentence, and it’s clear he’s protesting.

Spencer texts Hanna an SOS, so she grabs her stuff just as Mama Marin is getting home. Mama Marin breaks the news that Señora Therapy’s office was broken into. Hanna wants to know why she would call Mama Marin with the news. Mama asks what they talked about and if it might be something she wouldn’t want other people to know. Hanna looks pensive but again says she has to go. Mama Marin is scared that the police are going to start asking questions, and Hanna says she needs answers but she isn’t getting them there. She storms out.

Sweeney: Poor Mama Marin. She’s entirely right about the inevitable additional questions from the cops. She does actively try to be involved in her kid’s life, but it’s hard when Hanna routinely shuts her out like this.

Lor: Señora Therapy is cleaning up her office and some of Rosewood’s LOL PD are on hand. They ask who else had keys to the office, and Señora Therapy says no one did, which is weird because there are no signs of forced entry.

The Pretty Little Liars are tailing Melissa and Wren. Spencer says she’s working on a plan while Hanna realizes that being the girls who cried wolf means they are screwed no matter what happens. Melissa and Wren stop just outside of a raggedy looking barn. Spencer stops some ways behind them. All of the Liars exit the car and follow them, talking loudly and rustling a lot of leaves.

Melissa heads inside the barn and leaves Wren waiting outside. Melissa screams and Wren and all of the Liars run inside the barn. When they get there, they see that Ian is dead and he’s got a gun in his hand. There is a suicide note next to him. Melissa is sobbing hysterically but allows herself to be held by Spencer.

The camera pulls up and we see that there is a horseshoe missing in a line of them along one of the barn wall. A is fucking CRAZY you guys.

Sara: FUCKING BATSHIT, Y’ALL.

Lor: We cut to the girls standing around outside, but we are watching them for a ways back. A’s gloved hand puts a phone inside of Spencer’s purse. I guess this was the A-NONYMOUS, but I liked it better because it felt like a continuation of the scene and not something tagged on at the end.

Sweeney: But again we repeat: A IS FUCKING CRAZY. I MEAN. WHAT THE FUCK. I don’t know how many more episodes of “16-year-old girls get framed for murder!” I can actually handle.

Lor: On the bright side, and this has nothing to do withing anything (except for happiness), BUT HIGH FIVE FOR NO EZRA THIS EPISODE, AM I RIGHT?

Sweeney: I feel better already. HIGH FIVES INDEED!

Sara: I was wondering why I felt so light and carefree this time around!

 

Next time – News spreads that Ian is for real, really really dead in Pretty Little Liars S02 E05 – The Devil You Know.