Angel S03 E20 – Slow motion

Previously: Angel got some by-product from his dark magics usage and Connor came back, but he isn’t a baby anymore.
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A New World

Lorraine: We slow motion zoom in on Angel, who looks like he’s trying very hard to emote, which means you know shit is going down; this episode starts one second after Connor has reappeared. The camera pans to the right and Groo jumps into action, swinging his battle axe, also in slow-mo. We keep spinning and land back on Connor in the background, as in the foreground, Angel yells for everyone to wait.

Kirsti: I think the slow motion yelling was my favourite on account of how spectacularly awful it was.

Lor: Connor shoots two stakes and Angel ducks out of the way, though it appears he does get hit in the shoulder and hand. Connor blocks the axe Groo sent flying like a million slow-mo years ago and things speed up to normal time. A stake clatters to the ground, so maybe Angel wasn’t shot? I’m not sure. Also, I feel kind of slow for missing what happened, considering IT WAS IN SLOW MOTION. Let’s move on. Nothing to see here.

Sweeney: Paying attention all the things when you’re trying to recap as quickly as humanly possible is rough stuff…even when they slow it down and make it theoretically as easy as possible for you.

Lor: Thank you for trying to make me feel better.

Connor lifts his shooting contraption again and calls this entire teaser sequence, “interesting.” He’s only said one word and I think I hate Connor already? Granted, I watched the first few seasons of Mad Men and found Pete Campbell detestable. I’m prepared to admit that these are residual Pete feels. That said: ew.

Electric Cellos.

After the credits, Angel voices his shock at Connor’s return and then a fight breaks out. We quickly learn that Connor is pretty good at the fighting and at the spin-y kicks and at the taking on three grown men at once. In the end, though, Angel does manage to knock him off of Gunn, pinning him down with his own weapons held against his throat. There is a couple second stand-off before Angel realizes, “oh, right! Right! Son.” and releases him. Angel offers Connor his hand, but Connor looks freaked out and runs out, into the sunlight. He’s fallen into slow motion again.

Angel runs out after him, with a extended, “nooooooo,” and damn. They are playing it in a way where I’m over here CRACKING UP. Unintentional comedy, for the win. Groo and Gunn pull Angel back into the shadows, and offer to run after Connor.

Connor, meanwhile, has run into traffic. Groo and Gunn watch as cars swerve around him, until a city bus rides by. Connor runs after it and then there is some BAD special effects and he like, spidey jumps onto the moving bus. Gotta say, Connor, your re-introduction has not been all that great.

Sweeney: I CAN’T EVEN WITH THAT CGI. I was just congratulating the SFX folks on how far they’ve come in Sunnydale. It seems they sent their fail team to Los Angeles. LOLFOREVER at CGI!Connor’s spidey jump.

K: My theory is that they spent literally all the money for this episode on Things That Happen Right At the End, and therefore had to do a half arsed job of all the special effects.

Lor: I’m sue the SFX team thanks you, K, for helping them feel better.

Back inside the Brooding Hotel, Fred gets to work tracking down the city bus Connor jumped on. Cordelia says that this fight is what she saw in her vision last episode. Angel points out that she never mentioned Connor. She didn’t see Connor in her vision. DUN DUN DUN.

Gunn asks if they are sure dirty Pete Campbell was even Connor, and Angel is. Cordelia makes the requisite soap opera/aging the baby joke. Legit. Lorne, ever the velvety voice of reason, says maybe they should be concerned with why he came back, considering he did just try to murder his dad. Angel’s says he’s angry and afraid, and he needs to talk to him. Thankfully, Fred’s identified the end of the line for the city bus he’s on. Angel’s going via sewer and tells the Fang Gang to hit the street. Gunn shouts, “you got it, man,” and Groo gives an endearing, “we will not fail, man.”

Cordy is left to command the troops. Just as she’s telling everyone how they’ll split up, the air above the pentagram crackles. The gateway to Quor-toth is still open. Groo suggests that Cordy use her new disco-ball powers to close the gateway. She stands under it, lifts her hands dramatically and commands it to close. Of course, it does not. Fred states to suggest going to Wesley for help and Gunn gives her a big, fat, “NOPE.” Lorne knows a guy who knows a guy who might be able to help. So, Groo and Cordy are staying to guard the hotel, Fred and Gunn are hitting the streets, and Lorne’s going to see his guy.

Fred puts two and two together and realizes that Gunn went to Wesley for her sake. He admits as much and tells her that Wesley made it clear that he was not going to help them not die a second time. They won’t be knocking on his door again.

Segue Magic to someone knocking on Wesley’s door. It’s Lilah. Weird. He won’t invite her in, but she just barges in anyways. Lilah “jokes” about the lack of get well stuff and his missing sense of humor. Wesley looks like he wants to murder punch her. (S: That’s a srsbsns face. She’s got some ladyballs on her for dismissing that GTFO face.) (K: Agreed)

Wesley knows she’s there to offer him a job. Lilah pokes and prods Wesley, but he firmly tells her that he isn’t interested. She gives him a gift to “pass the time in the unemployment line.” It’s an early edition of Dante’s Inferno. Wesley looks at it and then tosses it on the floor. Throat Slit Wesley is fairly hilarious. Lilah goes on about how in the story, Judas Iscariot was in the worst place in the ninth circle of hell. The worst of hell is reserved for those who betray. Lilah leans in real close to Wesley and finishes, “so don’t pretend you’re too good to work for us.”

Sweeney: I’m a little impressed by this tactic, I won’t lie. It was heart-breaking, too, to watch his face shift from, “Fuck this shit,” resolve to, “Damn.“

Lor: Connor is still riding the bus on a wave of crappy CGI. THIS IS SO BAD, YOU GUYS. He jumps off after a bit but not before I get in a good belly laugh.

Gunn checks in with Angel. They haven’t found Connor, but he is leaving a trail of gawkers. Angel tells them to look for less populated areas and to not kill his son and also to make the sun go down.

K: Angel, who is currently in the sewers and still getting full phone reception. Which will never not piss me off. 

Lor: Connor is on an overpass and he see a girl down below having a conversation with some man, begging him for drugs in exchange for some CDs. Connor jumps off the overpass into the drained aqueduct and approaches the dramz carefully. The Music-Hating Drug Dealer throws the CDs, makes some rape-tinged threats, and pushes CD Girl into his car. It is then that Music-Hating Drug Dealer notices Connor. M-HDD warns Connor to take his weird sense of style and GTFO, but Connor stands by his teeth necklace and also stands his ground. So, M-HDD calls out to some of his goons who promptly knock Connor out.

After a cut to black, the M-HDD steals Connor’s teeth necklace and tells his goons to get rid of him. Connor wakes up in the nick of time and takes on all three goons, in case we hadn’t figured out yet that he has mad fighting skillz. I don’t know if my Netflix was glitchy or if this scene was purposefully filmed in a “glitchy Netflix” inspired way. Huh.

When M-HDD notices that his goons are down for the count, he takes out his gun. CD Girl thwarts his murder efforts by opening the car door on him. This gives Connor enough time to kick the gun out of his hand and take him out. CD Girl relieves M-HDD of his money and drugs. Connor cuts off M-HDD’s ear, because he’s apparently batshit. Also, the lesson of the day is either don’t hate music, or don’t deal drugs.

Sweeney: Snark Squad’s Life-Saving Advice of the week, in fact: don’t deal drugs! We’re very serious about this kids. You will get your ear cut off. And/or have to cover up a pedolationship.

K: Also, if you ever see a guy wearing a necklace made of teeth and skulls, don’t piss him off. Man, we’re good at giving advice.

Lor: I’m sure it’s what keeps the people coming back!

Back at the Brooding Hotel, Groo is still standing guard under the crackling portal air. Cordelia is sitting, and asking Groo if he isn’t tired of standing in the exact same position all day. Groo says he’s be trained for this sort of thing, and proves it with some weird story about almost-bestiality, I think. Moving on. Cordelia manages to make this about Angel, and how boring she finds his tales of yore. Groo gives her a, “seriously?” look and Cordy tries to remove her foot from her mouth. He points out that she does talk about Angel an awful lot, but her excuse is that he needs her right now. However, she recognizes, that Groo needs her too, and they kiss. Groo was worried her affections had waned. They kiss again, but are parted when rift lighting strikes them, and knocks them both on their asses.

Aqueduct of Earlessness. Fred and Gunn are investigating what is now a crime scene, crawling with cops. Gunn fills Fred and Angel, who we learn is also on hand, on the mayhem of the crime scene, including the earlessness. Angel excuses his son, on account of being raised in a hell dimension. Gunn asks what’s next, and Angel sends them back to the hotel so he can keep looking by himself.

A weird, extensive segue of people, creatures and a helicopter all in a negative filter (IDK) takes us over to CD Girl (who the closed captioning tells me is named Sunny) and Connor. She’s brought him to a squatter house. She asks him how he gets his kicks, and this leads to confusion because Holtz apparently taught him English, but not cool people English.

K: To be fair, Holtz didn’t really have time to get caught up on 200+ years of cool people English (what with training his army of minions and all) before he jumped into a hell dimension… Connor just needs to go back to the 17th century and he’ll be hella cool.

Lor: Someone should’ve sent him there!

Inside one of the rooms of what we now see is an abandoned motel, Sunny lights up some candles and tries to explain the ways of squatting to Connor. Then, she offers him some jeans she has on hand for such an occasion as this. Connor changes, and Sunny gets an eye full as she tells him that killing the Music-Hating Drug Dealer (Tyke) would’ve been wrong. Sunny offers him some of her food spread, which appears to include Cheetos, applesauce and some sort of moon pie. Also, a spoon for free-basing. Sunny shows Connor her “medicine” for when she feels sad, but says she doesn’t feel sad now. Probably because of that delicious moon pie.

Brooding Hotel. Fred and Gunn return and find Cordy and Groo still knocked out.

Squatter Motel. Sunny asks Connor for his story, which is basically that he came to LA to find his father. Sunny was looking to get away from hers. She thinks that parents should take a pre-baby test to eliminate drunks and evil people. Connor says evil people should be killed. Sunny finds this delightful and not moderately creepy. They kiss for a bit before Sunny excuses herself. I’m guessing it’s medicine time.

Wesley, in his apartment, opens up the book that Lilah gave him to the picture of the devil eating Judas. He snaps it shut. I think that was your friendly reminder that Wesley is still around.

Connor wakes suddenly to the sound of sirens wailing. He sneaks about the room, calling out for Sunny, and finds her passed out in the bathroom. Or dead in the bathroom, still with the needle in her arm. Connor shakes her, stands, and turns to find Angel behind him.

K: Man. Life has to suck when you’re a) raised in a demon dimension, b) technically like 3 months old in this dimension, c) your first kiss is with a drug addict who dies shortly thereafter, and d) then your biological father turns up.

Lor: Dawn’s first kiss was also dead, but hers was dead when she kissed him. Buffyverse teen angst is rough.

Angel freaks for a second, asking if Sunny put any crap in him, but he denies it and breaks out of Angel’s grip. Angel apologizes and says they will take care of this situation together, but Connor thinks it’s too late. Connor gets Music-Hating Drug Dealer’s jacket and sniffs it. Angel grabs it away, and deduces that Connor’s going to try and track M-HDD and punish him for Sunny’s death. (S: Like Creepy Coat Sniffing Father, like Creepy Coat Sniffing Son!) Angel tells Connor to slow down, to listen, but he won’t. Angel has to physically restrain his son, and does so until Connor seemingly relents.

Of course, as soon as Angel lets go, Connor makes another break for it, but Angel pushes him down again. Angel tries to explain that Connor doesn’t know how this world works. He yells that his name isn’t Connor– it’s Steven.

Brooding Hotel. Cordelia is giving Fred and Gunn the cliff notes version of the being knocked on their asses thing. Fred has researched the creature that came through with Connor and it seems that it has a mate. The air above the pentagram crackles suspiciously. The gang wonders where Lorne is with the expert and Fred ONCE AGAIN suggest going to Wesley. This is going to get real old, real fast Fred. (K: It’s already old…) Cordelia says Angel wouldn’t like it, and Groo adds that Angel is their leader and they should never disobey him. It’s fantastic because it’s delivered with that bit of straightforward Groo-ness, but just a tinge of sarcasm. Fred’s all, “forget this. I’m calling Wesley,” and I don’t understand why Gunn doesn’t just say, “he told me never to go back to him ever again.”

Thankfully, Lorne enters with the expert lady who has a tendency to disappear.

Sweeney: I looked her up because she seemed super familiar to me but now I’m just going to say it’s just a familiar looks-like-other-faces face and/or that I have really seen Veronica Mars too many times because that’s the only thing she did that I could have recognized…but she was in a whopping one scene and one – maybe two – lines. So… yeah, familiar face… totes just a familiar face…

K: Meanwhile, I’m gonna give her points for having elaborately styled blue hair.

Lor: Angel and Connor are still having their show down, in which Angel asks his son not to run away and to give him a little time to explain. He says that he tried to get Connor out but couldn’t find a way. Connor found a way out. Angel concedes him that point and admits that he should’ve tried harder. But also, didn’t he lose Connor like a week or two ago? Seriously, Connor, you had a few years on your dad. Angel says that it’s important Connor came came back and that he must have a million question. Connor doesn’t, because his father explained it all. Angel says Holtz isn’t his father and that earns him a punch to the face. It seems that Holtz has been giving feeding him Angel is Evil and Vampires Are the Worst, the unabridged version. Connor pushes his father, yelling at him to show his killing face. Angel vamps out, and says that vampire is part of who he is, and he hopes Connor will accept it one day. Connor, “over my dead body”s and that’s the cue for Music-Hating Drug Dealer and his goons to enter.

After a Not Commercial Break, Angel tells Connor to let him handle this situation. He tells M-HDD that Sunny is dead, and one of his goons confirms that. Angel says there is no need for violence, but M-HDD ain’t hearing that, on account of now missing an ear. He wants his jacket and the rest of his drugs back. Before things escalate further, we seizure cut out of there and back to the Brooding Hotel. Myrna, Lorne’s expert lady, is feeling around the air. She says she hopes the permanent pentagram wasn’t an attempt to close the portal, and Gunn half-explains that it was an attempt to open one.

Fred approaches her and asks if she’ll be able to close it. She will, but she’s worried about what opened it. It isn’t a portal per se, but a cosmic tear in reality. Something punched it’s way through. Myrna suddenly disappears and appears behind the Fang Gang, giving them a scare. Lorne brings out some materials she asked for and some goggles, as even though this is all routine, she does sometimes get schmutz in her eye. I think I like Myrna.

K: Agreed. I think she should join the Fang Gang.

Lor: With a flip of her hand and some chanting, Myrna quickly seals up the tear. She turns to the Fang Gang and says it’s done. She isn’t sure if anything else came through, but she isn’t sticking around to find out.

Sweeney: Good policy.

Lor: Squatter Motel. Police officers move along the outside with flashlights. Angel tells Music-Hating Drug Dealer that this doesn’t bode well for him and emphasizes to Connor that violence doesn’t pay, before of course, starting a fight. Between Angel and Connor, they fight the goons, but they also attract the attention of the police. They open fire on the room, and Connor and Angel remain on the ground for most of it, as M-HDD and his goons fire back. One of the bullets shatters the glass of a window nearby, and Angel sends Connor through it. At that moment, however, an officer enters the room and sees Connor fleeing. The officer shoots at Connor, but Angel gets in the path of the bullet. Connor is shocked to see Angel go down, and the officer soon has to take cover again, because M-HDD shoots at him. Angel and Connor use this opportunity to both escape out the window.

Angel and Connor run and hide from cops, Angel limping along. Angel tells Connor that he can come back to the hotel if he needs a place to stay. Connor says he has to go, but Angel assures him that he isn’t alone. Connor says he knows and takes off running.

 

And, of course, any sort of Good at TV-ness will tell you he’s running straight for Holtz, who seems to have aged 87 years, give or take.

K: So remember my theory on why the special effects suck? Here’s the full version of that theory: between the prosthetics/make up to make Holtz look a million and all the blanks for the shoot out, there was no money left.

Lor: So, guys, on a scale of 1 to 10, how much did you hate Connor this episode?

Sweeney: I haven’t seen Mad Men, so that was helpful. The stranger-in-a-strange-land stuff was mildly amusing. Trying not to hold being brainwashed against him but that’s easier said then done. On that 1-10 scale, with negative infinity being Christian Grey and 10+ being Veronica Mars, I’ll go ahead and give Connor a 6 this episode.

K: I’m going with, like, a 3 because I can see the future.

Lor: That’s cheating, Kirsti! EPISODE BY EPISODE.

I’m going with a solid 5. Sorry. Pete. Campbell.

Over all, Connor’s return was a little underwhelming for me. I mean, the beginning of this episode was pretty hilarious, but probably not for the right reasons. The last quarter of the episode picks up, and though I knew that Holtz took Connor through the portal with him, I didn’t really fully internalize what that meant until Connor brought up his real dad.

Hopefully this should get more interesting from here, and not less.

 

Next time: Justine finds out Grandaddy Holtz is back and Groo keeps noticing that Cordy has it bad, but not for him in Angel S03 E21 – Benediction.