Buffy the Vampire Slayer S07 E01 – Themes

Previously: All of season 6 happened. It was long and difficult and I don’t want to talk about it ever again.
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Lessons

Sweeney: Because the show knows we are ready for a major change of pace from ALL THE THINGS, we decide to really get weird and kick off S7 in Istanbul because, “Why the fuck not?” also because it’s the 2000s now and everyone noticed how incredibly white this show is. We see a teenage girl running through the streets of Istanbul being chased by hooded men. Unfortunately, this new PoC gets stabbed by one of the hooded men without even getting to say any words. Sorry, girl.

Kirsti: Womp womp. Also, when this episode first aired and opened in Istanbul, I was 1000% convinced that I’d gotten my days mixed up and was watching Alias instead.

Lorraine: I was convinced that we were going to start with Spike. Also, having seen this whole episode, I still don’t know what this is. Being a Snow is still stupid in season 7. FYI.

Sweeney: But it’s so exciting! You’re so close! Now there are only 21 episodes worth of reasons you know nothing!

 “It’s about power,” Buffy voice overs. In the cemetery we see that she’s talking to Dawn about how important it is that she remember that the vampire is always the one with the power. Buffy calls her a little girl and Dawn adorably points out that she’s taller than her. The vampire they are watching rise – because JOKES – turns out to be terribly inept and needs help getting out of the grave. Buffy quickly informs him that she’s the slayer and if he wants blood he needs to go after Dawn. I think we just learned that he was stupid so that we’d understand why he had no plans to RUN upon hearing SLAYER which all vampires understand upon rising because reasons. (Don’t misunderstand my snark, I’m welcoming this campy goodness with arms wide fucking open.)

Dawn fights and manages to stake him but not in the heart. Ultimately, he gets the upperhand and starts to bite so Dawn cries out for help. Buffy slays the vampire and then reminds Dawn that the most important thing to remember is that it’s always real. Dawn says she had a plan the whole time. “I was going to get killed, come back as a vampire, and then bite you.” Buffy’s not going to lecture, though, because Dawn’s did pretty well. (Remember how useless early season Scoobies were in the field?)

K: Hell, Buffy missed the heart her first time in the field. And, technically, Dawn didn’t. Remember how she staked her first kiss in The Season That Must Not Be Named’s Halloween episode?

Sweeney: Buffy packs up her weapons and says that she wishes that vampires and demons were all they had to worry about, with something ominous lurking around the corner. Dawn, matching Buffy’s dread, says she just can’t believe it’s back.

With that, we segue magic to a ribbon cutting ceremony: Sunnydale High School is reborn, right back on top of its original hellmouth location. Also worth noting, if you lamented the insta-death of our Turkish running girl, the ribbon was cut by a black man. What up, 2002! Wolf howl. (WITHOUT A CERTAIN BELOVED ENGLISHMAN. FUCK YOU, 2002.)

Lor: I cannot even tell you how much I squee’d at Sunnydale High. SUNNYDALE HIGH! I might cry tears of, “I used to love this show.” Also, obligatory new credits squeal! The scene from Tabula Rasa where they all scream is now in there and I appreciate that.

Sweeney: Fortunately, though, the episode begins in England where said Englishman is a special guest who rides a horse. (K: Which I have never understood. It’s like they went “What’s the most English thing we can think of? Oh, fox hunting! But that would be bad. Eh. Let’s just dump Giles on a horse in a Driza-Bone. Close enough!”) He gets off his horse to have a chat with Willow, who is very somber and making flowers grow with magic. She’s explaining to Giles how she’s learned that everything is connected. Unfortunately, she’s playing hooky on a lesson right now because the coven is all afraid of her – “like I’m gonna them all into bangers and mash or something. Which I’m not even really sure what that is.”

 

Giles says that they’re just cautious and she says she’s not that powerful now anyway, but he says that whether she feels it or not, she’ll always be connected to a great power. Willow’s confused because she killed people and she doesn’t understand why Giles went “all Dumbledore” on her (YAY HARRY POTTER) and taking her to England to learn about magic and energy instead of the torture and possible death sentence she expected. When asked if she wants to be punished she says she just wants to be Willow.

As Giles tells her that in the end we all are who we are, no matter how much we appear to have changed, we cut to Xander. He’s wearing a suit and carrying what looks like architectural plans as he arrives at Chez Summers. Buffy and Dawn are getting ready and Buffy unloads her terror that Dawn is about to start school at the same place that tried to kill her for three years. Xander says that he’s checked the building out thoroughly and there are no pentagrams or other visible signs of demonic activity. He did spot one suspicious thing: when laying the new plans over the old plans, you can see that the center of the Hellmouth (former home: Wiggins Library, RIP) is now located below the Principal’s office. So, principal is either evil or in loads of danger. Xander notes that after the last two principals were eaten, you’d have to be a special kind of crazy to even apply for the job.

K: BRB, pining for Principals Flutie and Snyder, and seasons 1-3.

Sweeney: With that, it’s time to go! But first, Buffy has a back-to-school present for Dawn. Dawn guesses that it’s a weapon and Buffy confirms. We see the box but not what’s inside it, before we cut to them arriving at school. Buffy walks in with her, revisiting her Sunnydale HS days, cautioning Dawn to steer clear of “hyena people, or any lizardy-type athletes, or if you see anybody that’s invisible.” (L: Seriously. Cannot take the nostalgia right now.)

She declares the place evil just as the new black dude from earlier appears behind them for some chitchat. He is the new principal and his name is Robin Wood. (LOL, Principal Wood.) He’s a lot younger than Buffy thought he’d be and she’s awful young to have a daughter in high school, which prompts Buffy to panic over having mom hair as she corrects him on her sibling status. He says that he has heard of Buffy Summers, and then hurries off to “deaden young minds.” Dawn shoos Buffy away so she can get to class.

 

Buffy, of course, can’t resist the creepy nostalgia-fueled urge to troll the high school. Also check on her sister and demonic things, but you know it’s really the first thing. The halls are empty but a basketball flies in front of her face and later she just misses the kid who threw it, as she walks by The Basement of Don’t Go In There 2.0

K: Not gonna lie, I totally had season 7 in mind when I named that thing waaaaaaay back in season 2.

Lor: A+ Kirsti. Nice foresight.

Sweeney: Sidebar rant that I’ve probably made before but it’s season 7 so it’s my last chance to be sure. Let’s talk about the abundance of basements in Sunnydale. Basements are a thing that you build primarily so that your pipes don’t freeze. We’ve seen snow once in Sunnydale and it was a BFD that it happened. You know what Sunnydale does have, because Southern California? Earthquakes. If your area almost never sees sub-freezing temperatures and is earthquake-prone, everybody and their mother shouldn’t have a fucking basement. This makes no sense.

K: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. You’ll scare away the contrivance spirits.

Lor: Excellent point. One I never thought of because basements exist to me everywhere on TV that isn’t Florida where you will hit water if you dig at all.

Sweeney: Having gotten my rant out of the way, I’ll concede that I am actually excited for the return of TBoDGIT because nostalgia.

We cut to Dawn starting her first class, and Buffy ducking into the girl’s bathroom to inspect her hair. She notices a weird feathery thing that looks like an art project made out of month-old, rotting garbage and decides to pick it up. She’s then haunted by two ghost people who say that she couldn’t protect others so she won’t be able to protect Dawn.

K: I’m distracted by the fact that Buffy’s pants are giving her a terrible case of what The Fug Girls refer to as polter-wang…

Lor: Fitting.

Sweeney: Cut to Dawn, introducing herself to her class and OMG, I’m pretty sure I would have wanted to be her BFF if I were 15. “I love to dance. I like music. I’m very into Britney Spears’s early work, before she sold out, so mostly her finger painting and macaroni art. Very underrated. Favorite activities include not ever having to do this again, and…” then, unfortunately, her winning introduction is cut off by Buffy bursting into her classroom telling her that they have to go because it’s not safe. Oof. Everyone stares at her like she’s a crazy person and she awkwardly leaves. “I also have a sister,” she finishes.

At the downtown diner place that I don’t think we’ve named yet, Anya and Halfrek are chatting. Hallie says that Anya used to be the single most hardcore vengeance demon on the roster and she always looked up to her. However, since she’s gotten her powers back everyone else has been calling her “Miss Soft Serve” because she’s got no deaths or eviscerations to her name now. Hallie’s basically staging an intervention because she’s the only demon friend Anya’s got left and everybody can tell that some evil greater than the Old Ones is rising and it’s a bad time to be a good guy.

Buffy goes off to find Xander, who is completing construction on part of the school, to tell him what just happened. She says that she’s certain the school being re-built isn’t a coincidence and that it means something.

Back in class, Dawn is moping about the strugglebus beginning to her school year when the kid next to her asks to borrow a pencil. He instantly goes ghost thing and stabs her in the eye with it. She freaks out and screams but comes to, with her eye decidedly not stabbed. She plays it off as a bee, which makes my Ever-After-loving heart grow two sizes. (“There was a bee!”) (K: SNARK LADY MINDMELD. I had the exact same thought.) She excuses herself to the bathroom and one of her classmates suggests that the crazy runs in the family. (L: Weird, because we did see Joyce and Buffy go different types of crazy.) (S: Welp, that comment gave me feelings. THANKS.)

In the bathroom, Dawn hears a girl sobbing in another stall. In the halls, Buffy runs into Robin, the new principal. Ominous music plays as he mentions that it’s customary for graduated students to move on. Buffy says she’s just making sure it’s safe for her sister. Dawn checks in on the sobbing girl, who says that there is somebody in there. Ominous music and the spinning cameraman continue as Robin tells Buffy that he knew more about her than he let on. In the bathroom, Dawn finally gets the girl to go outside for fresh air and they introduce themselves. The girl is named Kit and she doesn’t think Dawn would even believe her if she told her what they saw. As Dawn tries to assure her that she would, she glances in the mirror to see several of the zombies in the bathroom. Then the lights start to explode. As the girls try to run out, zombies reach through the floorboards and pull them under.

K: UH OH, DAWNIE. As if your first day wasn’t traumatic enough already, now you’ve fallen into the Basement of Don’t Go In There. Also, you grovelled around on the floor of a high school bathroom. Even if it’s brand new and barely used, EW.

Sweeney: Ew. For sure.

After a Not Commercial Break, Willow is gasping for air as Giles tries to calm her. He asks her what she can remember. She says they were talking and then she felt something. Everything is connected, but it’s not all good and rootsy. She says that the Hellmouth is going to open and swallow them all.

Cut back to Sunnydale, where Dawn is waking up her new traumatized friend Kit so that they can find a way out of there. Hallway, the spinny cameraman keeps going round and round and he’s probably really dizzy by now. Principal Wood says that the school board advised him to read up on Buffy’s record. SRSLY? They had him read up on the record of a student who graduated three years ago?

K: Not only that, but her file miraculously survived the explosion of Sunnydale High Mark 1?

Sweeney: Dawn and Kit round a corner and bump into the kid with the basketball from before. He doesn’t remember where the stairs are. As they go looking, they get surrounded by zombie-types telling them that they can’t run because SUNNYDALE HIGH SCHOOL. (Paraphrasing.) Then Dawn remembers that she has a weapon – a flip phone! Flip phones were the shit in no small part because those suckers were durable. I was about to say that I miss flip phones, but then I remembered all the internetting I do on my phone. So, you know, clear winner.

K: SO MUCH. I have a shitty prepaid flip phone that I use when I’m in the US, and it is the ACTUAL WORST. Starting with the fact that it only has capacity for 50 text messages. Stay away from nostalgia, kids. No good can come of it. 

Lor: If it’s meant to survive Sunnydale High, though,  it might as well be a flip phone.

Sweeney: Upstairs, Principal Wood is saying that he’s concerned because Dawn looks up to Buffy. Buffy suggests that Dawn is way worse and he should probably just expel her now. Just as he is saying that they should probably give her a chance first, Buffy’s phone rings. She runs off awkwardly.

Downstairs, Dawn notices that the zombies have disappeared. A hand then reappears around her throat. Buffy goes into the girl’s bathroom and jumps into the gaping hole in the floor. She looks for Dawn and then calls the phone and walks towards the ringing. Janitor!Zombie answers the phone and says that Buffy is too late – she’s always too late. Another zombie appears, saying he’d like Dawn to be his girlfriend. “Wrong sister. I’m the one that dates dead guys. And no offense, but they were hotties. I’m sure you had a great personality, but…” LOLZ.

Another chick appears, to blame Buffy for her death and Buffy tells them to STFU and notices that they are all guarding a door. She fights her way to it but on the other side is…Spike! She asks if he’s real, and then he giggles at her. She’s hit over the head by a zombie and Spike backs into the room. Buffy fights off the zombies and follows him, before barring the door. Spike does a lot of crazy babbling and his open shirt reveals a chest full of scars. She asks what he did and he says he tried to cut it out. Before she can make him elaborate, her phone rings.

 

K: Okay. I have a shit ton of problems with this scene. My first problem, obviously, is with Spike’s LOL-tastic hair. But the rest of my problems relate to the fact that this is the first time Buffy’s seen Spike since he tried to rape her. Even if he IS insane and living in the Basement of Don’t Go In There, I do not for one second buy the idea of Buffy being all concerned about him and his cut up chest. This is one of the things that drives me most insane about the attempted rape plot line – that it’s basically all just swept under the carpet and it’s never really mentioned between the two of them ever again. Oh, look. Not even at the end of the first episode of season 7 and I’m Hulk smashing the planet. YAY.

Lor: In one of my epic Twitter rants against Spike, I found a fellow Spike hater. She responded to my Tweets and we spoke a bit about the attempted rape and how it was treated. She made a point about how the entire storyline also changed how she viewed Buffy, considering things like how she sent her sister off to her attempted rapist, and even moments like this. I’m not making any commentary about these actions (whether right, or wrong, or anywhere in between) but just saying that I definitely see her point.

On the other hand, something like an attempted rape is so traumatic that people don’t often act in ways you would expect them, towards the situation or their attackers.

The most import thing though is if none of this is ever clarified or discussed on way or another. Dislike.

Sweeney: YES. EXACTLY. Someone who has been through a traumatic event like that may behave in all manner of ways and I am not entirely sure how to talk about Buffy’s reactions because the basic point is that the writers wrote the attempted rape in for no reason other than to get the attempted rapist from point A to point B and gave no shits about representing the aftermath for the victim, even though she’s the main character. A solid fist bump and a “YES, THIS” to all the things you both just said.

The phone call is Dawn, of course, informing her that they were dragged into some furnace room. Buffy’s still trying to figure out what they are since ghosts can’t touch you and zombies can’t disappear. Spike chimes in that they were manifested by a talisman to seek vengeance, OBVI. Buffy tells Dawn that these things are coming and Dawn needs to find a weapon, but Buffy’s coming for her. She turns to Spike, who continues to crazy and Buffy ain’t got time for that.

As Buffy walks out, she walks back through what Spike said and stops at the talisman bit, remembering the garbage art she she was playing with before. She calls Xander.

In the furnace room, Dawn finds something big and heavy just in time for the Talisman Zombies to return. The girl zombie says that the three of them were chosen because they were people nobody would miss, who spend all their time trying to escape high school only to wind up trapped there. Dawn takes her out in one swipe, but is promptly attacked by Wannabe Boyfriend!Zombie.

Upstairs, Xander goes into the girls bathroom and appreciates the impending work to fix the floor. Sunnydale High School needs a full-time contractor on its staff. He refocuses and goes looking for the talisman.

Downstairs, Janitor!Zombie is telling Dawn that she can thank her sister for this, which is Buffy’s cue to enter. She fights with the awesome weapon Dawn fashioned out of her messenger bag and heavy objects and it looks really cool. (K: SO MUCH, OMFG.) (L: WE MAY HAVE US A SLAYER THIS SEASON! YES.) Upstairs, Xander finds the talisman, only to get jumped by Chick!Zombie as soon as he picks it up.

Xander manages to break it and they all disappear. Dawn asks how she knew about the talisman and Buffy lies, “There’s always a talisman.” In Buffy’s defense, Spike’s return requires a whole conversation, one that she can’t have in front of these two kids, in spite of all the crazy they’ve just seen. Upstairs, Buffy tells them that this school is OK as long as they’re careful and they might want to think about sticking together. The dude calls Buffy the coolest mom ever and Dawn quickly ushers them away to their remaining classes.

Principal Wood waltzes up then, because he’s got some sort of Buffy’s-in-my-building homing device. He points out that Dawn’s two new friends are probably the only kids whose files are as thick as hers was. He points out that in spite of his expectations that one or both might implode by midterms, Buffy has them actually socializing and heading to class. He goes on to say that in spite of Sunnydale’s terrible reputation (he jokes that he didn’t get the job based on seniority) they have just barely enough budget to pay her chump change to be a sort of at-risk guidance counselor who works a few days a week. Buffy eagerly says she’s in, because she’d like to help out. “Look at that! It’s not even noon and I’ve already bullied my first family member into helping out. I’m going to be the best principal ever.” Basically just don’t get eaten. That’s really goal #1.

K: Seriously. There’s not exactly a lot of competition for being the best principal ever at Sunnydale High…

Sweeney: Downstairs in Basement of Don’t Go In There 2.0, Spike is sitting on the ground muttering about how she won’t understand. Standing above him, Warren interrupts and says that of course she won’t understand because of his immense greatness. It’s not really Warren, though, and his speech continues as he morphs into Glory, Adam, and MAYOR WILKINS. Oh the memories! Anyway, The Epic Evil does a lot of your usual villain belittling of Buffy and also adds that Spike – or rather “Number 17” is exactly where he is supposed to be. Finally, crouched down beside Spike, The Epic Evil morphs into Drusilla, stroking his cheek and telling him that he’ll always be in the dark with it. Not!Drusilla says that he’s always liked their little songs, “right from the beginning. And that’s where we’re going.” It stands back up as it morphs into The Master. “Right back to the beginning. Not the bang. Not the word. The true beginning.” He goes on to belittle Spike, saying that trying to do what’s right, like Buffy, was stupid. “You still don’t get it. It’s not about right. It’s not about wrong.” It morphs into Buffy before finishing off, “It’s about power.” End credits.

K: There are no words for how much I love the backwards progression of villains in season order. Particularly the fact that it’s Dru and not Angelus.

Lor: Absolutely agreed. That moment was such a fantastic way to kick off S7. I even liked seeing villains I didn’t like in the moment. Nicely played.

Sweeney: Yes! Reprehensibly awful Warren and boring, underwhelming Adam were still nice to see again in this way.

So. NEW SEASON. I don’t remember having strong yay/nay feelings about this season, but I am way excited for all the fun mythology that we get in this season. That’s what I remember most about it and it’s the thing I had the most fun trying to contextualize (with the understanding that a lot of this later stuff was, of course, made up later) on second watch. I would say it’s impossible for me to hate it as much as I hated 4 or 6, but that would be tempting fate. I will say that I am super excited. I enjoyed this episode. It was a fantastic way to kick off the final season. Lots of nostalgic references to where the show has been, the introduction of questionable new characters, and all the doom and gloom ominous foreboding to suggest that Buffy’s final apocalypse will be a super apocalyptic apocalypse.

K: I enjoyed this episode a lot, and it’s because of pretty much all the reasons Sweeney already mentioned. One of the problems with season 6 for me (among so very many others) was that the show lacked a central point. Sure, there’s the Magic Box. But things were so often split between there, the Doublemeat Palace, Xander’s Gift Apartment, and Chez Summers. The reintroduction of Sunnydale High is providing that central point again, a place where the characters spend all their time because they have to. Add in The Master’s line about going back to the beginning, and things are off to an excellent start.

Lor: I’m with you ladies. I wouldn’t call this spectacular, and there are plenty of weird, inexplicable things – like why the talisman was hanging out in plain sight in the girls bathroom – I could point out, but this episode did a good amount of tone and theme season. In addition to “back to the beginning,” the episode was framed by the words, “It’s about power.” So, you know. Themes.

I hope you all are ready!

Next time: There’s a giant worm in Sunnydale. Find out more in Buffy the Vampire Slayer S07 E02 – Beneath You.