Buffy the Vampire Slayer S07 E03 – Finger lickin’ good

Previously: Anya turned a random’s boyfriend into a giant worm which tried to eat her face, and all three of us lost the will to live because of Spike related bullshit.

Same Time, Same Place

Kirsti: We open at Sunnydale Airport, where it looks weirdly like an early episode of Friends. Passengers are deplaning, and the camera pans across to show Buffy, Dawn and Xander waiting. Dawn looks pissed, Buffy looks a little anxious, and Xander is carrying a placard that says “WELCOME HOME WILLOW” in yellow crayon. Aww. (L: Super aww.) Dawn teases Xander over how many times he’s told the yellow crayon story, and then announces that she’s nervous about seeing Willow. Buffy agrees, and wonders what you say to someone who flayed a dude alive and then tried to end the world. Xander says that he’s going to start with “Hi, Willow,” and go from there. (S: Additional, “Aww.”) He also says that Giles wouldn’t have let her leave unless she was fully recovered. Buffy worriedly says that Giles told her Willow wasn’t really ready to come back but that it was important that she did. Dawn freaks out, and Xander suddenly realises that they’ve closed the door to the airbridge because everyone was off the plane, but that Willow still hasn’t turned up.

That throws us into a retake of five minutes earlier. We watch the same passengers deplane but with one added addition – Willow. She stands in the gate lounge, looking around sadly at the complete lack of Scoobies. “Welcome home, me,” she says tearily. Cue wolf howl.

After the credits, we’re on a construction site. A teenager is spray painting a wall as a creepy shadowy beastie scurries about in the background. It looks like Gollum, but taller. It makes crab-like motions with its hands, which make its long fingernails click together like a bird’s beak, and NOPE. I HATE THIS MONSTER OF THE WEEK SO MUCH. It creepily says “Are you frightened to be all alone?” and the kid is like “The fuck?” because there’s no one there. There’s a creepy laugh, and the kid tells whoever it is to fuck off. Oh, honey. You live in Sunnydale. If you’ve made it to your teen years, you should know that running is the appropriate response. (S: Preach.) The zoomy cameraman does a thing, and the kid screams.

Cut to Chez Summers. Willow knocks on the front door of the darkened house. When there’s no response, she lets herself in the back door and calls out to Buffy. There’s still no response. We get a close up of the microwave clock saying 10.41. Willow walks through the darkened house, then heads upstairs. She looks sadly around her room, which Buffy has apparently taken over based on the sign on the door, and the zoomy cameraman zooms in on the window that was shattered when Tara got shot. Willow runs her hand over the glass and we hear the sound of the gunshot again. She picks up a filofax, which is open to the Scoobies’ contact numbers. Just then, a door shuts downstairs. She drops the filofax and rushes excitedly down the stairs, calling out to her friends, only to find the house still empty. She sadly curls up on the sofa.

10.41, take 2. Buffy, Dawn and Xander walk in the front door and stand there discussing where Willow might be. They’ve called Giles, who said he definitely put her on the plane, so they think that maybe she got off in Chicago or doubled back somehow. Dawn wants to know if this means she’s evil before suggesting they check the answering machine. Xander shuts the front door as they head to the kitchen, and they hear the sound of the filofax hitting the ground upstairs. They head up to check it out.

Shortly thereafter, WHAT THE FUCK IS BUFFY WEARING?!?!?!?! (L: LOL.)

A pretty white SHEER virginal dress over jeans?! Wow. It’s been a long time since I’ve been this confused by one of her outfits.

ANYWAY. The Scoobies sit on the sofa. Dawn says that there were no messages, and Buffy informs us that Willow isn’t upstairs and Giles hasn’t heard from her. “Is he throwing a tasteful British wiggins?” Xander asks, which I mention because the word wiggins has barely been used since the gang left high school and I miss it so. Welcome back, old friend. Giles is indeed wigging, apparently. He blames himself for letting Willow leave too soon. Dawn wants to know if anyone is going to blame Willow. “Will anyone around here ever start asking for help when they need it?” she finishes. Another A+ observation, Dawnie. Buffy says they can only help Willow if she’s actually there for them to help. The camera pans out, and the image of the three Scoobies fades to show Willow sleeping on the sofa they’re sitting on.

Lorraine: SO! When Willow deplaned and didn’t see the Scoobies, I sort of missed that it was the same people getting off again and I thought the Scoobies were in the wrong place. I was ready to pitch a fit about this version of UGH MISCOMMUNICATION! It made the slow reveal and the payoff of this whole “same time, same place” deal even greater. Also, over on Angel last week, Fred made an observation about expecting your stuff to be where you left it, and what happens when it isn’t? Willow comes home and Buffy’s in what was her room, and she isn’t on the contact sheet and her friends aren’t where she left them. Willow did real bad things, but I hurt for her and this version of “without your stuff.”

Also, yes, A+ Dawnie.

Sweeney: And a 1430 as well, Dawn. (You too, Lor.)

K: Okay, I officially LOVE the idea of them being in the wrong place, because it would mean that Sunnydale has not one, but TWO international airports. LOLOLOLOL. And not only is Willow not on the contact sheet, but BUFFY IS. ON THE CONTACT LIST IN HER OWN FILOFAX. Uh, whut? ANYWAY. The next morning, Willow awakens on the sofa. The Clarinet of Sad Panda does its thing as she sits up, confused at still being alone. She heads over to the phone and calls Giles, only to discover that he’s in an all day Council meeting and can’t be reached. She hangs up and looks around the room as the cameraman takes advantage of the set having no ceiling to get a nice high angle on her standing alone.

Cut to the main street of Sunnydale. Willow walks towards the boarded up Magic Box just as Anya walks out the from door with a box of stuff. She backs away when she sees Willow, though Willow’s excited to see her. Anya’s defensive, wanting to know if she’s good-back or evil-back. Willow tells her that she feels responsible for what happened to the Magic Box, and Anya’s all “Uh, DUH,” because obvs. Willow apologises, but Anya says that vengeance demons prefer violence to apologies.

 

Willow tells her to go ahead, which bums Anya out because it’s no fun if the victim doesn’t mind. They sit on the curb and Willow asks where everyone is. Anya informs her that she’s back in her old apartment, but that’s not quite what Willow meant. Anya’s surprised to hear that Willow hasn’t seen the Scoobies yet, but says that it probably just means they’re still mad, like how they’re mad at Anya over the whole Not Worm Boyfriend thing. She suggests that Willow try Sunnydale High, because that’s where all the cool kids hang out these days.

That segue magics us over to the big hole in the ground where the kid got attacked by Fingernail Gollum earlier, which is apparently the construction site for the new Sunnydale High gym. (L: They opened the school without it? Yeah, no, nevermind. Gym can suck it.) Willow calls out for Xander, then climbs down a ladder into the site. She walks behind a digger and finds the kid’s body, completely skinned. The camera zooms back up to where Willow was standing, but now it’s Xander and Buffy staring at the body. Xander tells Buffy that he called her as soon as he found the body, and that he’s given his crew the day off. Buffy decides she should get a job where she doesn’t get phoned as soon as someone finds a skinned body. Xander turns as there are some clanking noises in the background – it’s Willow climbing the ladder out of the site – then looks back to Buffy and confirms that they’re thinking the same thing: that maybe Willow is back after all. Fade to black.

After the Not Commercial Break, Willow wanders through the halls of Sunnydale High, because apparently they have no fucks to give about security? IDK. She heads into the Basement of Don’t Go In There 2.0, and gets confronted by Spike Timberlake. He rambles incoherently, looking at and answering Willow only occasionally. The rest of the time, his attention is directed to empty space. He crazies some more, then says “Everyone’s talking to me. No one’s talking to each other.” He turns and stares at Willow suspiciously. “Somebody isn’t here,” he continues in a slightly saner voice. “Button, button, who’s got the button? My money’s on the witch.” I mention this last part partly because it’s relevant to the plot but mostly because it’s one of two things I quote when looking for something (the other being “Where the fuck is the fucking tuna?” from Bridget Jones’ Diary). Willow looks confused.

Alterna-timeline. Buffy and Xander walk through a basement corridor as he complains that the blueprints are useless because the Hellmouth apparently likes to play around with the walls. They hear Spike crazying off in the distance and head towards it. Thus, the other half of the conversation gets filled in. Buffy and Xander decide Spike’s Timberlaking a little too hard for their liking and turn to go. But they turn back when he gets to the “My money’s on the witch” line. He informs invisa-Willow that Buffy and Xander think she killed the kid, and Buffy decides that there’s something evil there. Spike says that he needs to check permission slips of all the things in the basement and leaves.

Lor: I’m sure I made it clear that I wasn’t a fan of Spike Timberlake, but this was nicely played. I don’t even really want to think about what it means for his crazy, I just think the double conversation was neat and another nice reveal. I SAID SOMETHING POSITIVE ABOUT SOMETHING SPIKE WAS INVOLVED IN.

Sweeney: DAMN IT, I EVEN MADE A NOTE TO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THIS AND YOU BEAT ME TO IT. But like: I’M +1ing SOMETHING POSITIVE ABOUT SPIKE! Less about Spike, but still positive: JM is acting this whole weird ill-defined crazy thing super well.

K: Yeah, JM gives excellent crazy. And the double conversation is pretty fabulous. I kind of wish I could watch the two side by side to compare his expressions for consistency… Cut to Anya’s apartment where there’s a knock on the door. It’s Willow, who says that she needs help. She fills a reluctant-to-help Anya in on the body, and they both say “Was it you? No!” at the same time. Anya says that the skinned thing means the Scoobies will definitely think Willow’s to blame, and Willow looks hurt. Anya deduces that Willow wants to find the thing responsible so she can prove to the Scoobies that it wasn’t her. Willow asks for help, and Anya’s response is basically what mine would be:

Lor: Anya’s on a roll with these reactions lately. I want to carry that gif around in my pocket.

Sweeney: Really, you should lead your request for help with, “I promise it’s neither difficult nor time-consuming!” (or promise cookies or something if it is one/both of those things.)

K: Truth. Sometime later, they’re sitting crosslegged on the floor, a map of Sunnydale between them. Anya snarks that this better not get all sexy, but I’m too busy being reminded of the last time they did magic together – Doppelgangland – to care. (L: I giggled at that. Sexy magic time! Aw. Wait, did I just feel nostalgic for season 4? I’m broken. ) (K: I agree that you’re broken, because Doppelgangland was season 3.) The spell involves sprinkling magic powder over the map, and it will cause a little light to appear anywhere that there’s a demon. Anya wants to know if it will hurt the carpet. Willow glares at her. They sprinkle the powder, and Anya waves at her own little light. It’s adorable.

There’s a giant cluster at Sunnydale High, because HELLMOUTH. The lights get brighter, and the high school cluster bursts into flames. Willow jumps up and stomps it out as Anya bitches about the carpet some more.

Lor: Maybe they should’ve laid a towel down or something.

K: Probably would have been a good plan. Willow holds up the map and inspects the scorch marks on it. There’s one in a park near the school, and she’s pretty sure there are caves in that area. She suggests that Anya teleport over there “fast like a bunn- real quick” to check. Anya refuses because of the carpet. Willow yells at her, and Anya informs her that she can only teleport on official business now because everyone’s pissed about her de-worming Worm Boyfriend. She goes on to say that she doesn’t dig the vengeance as much as she used to, that it’s upsetting now to inflict pain. Willow asks if it feels like the power is controlling her rather than the other way around. When Anya agrees that it is, Willow says she understands. They share a moment, and then Willow says that she has to go find the demon. Anya suggests another spell to find the Scoobies, but Willow says she already tried, but that something must have gone wrong because it said they didn’t exist.

Cut to Chez Summers where the gang are in research mode. Dawn says she’s narrowed the search to demons who skin or flay their victims, and wants to know if anything else was gone to narrow it further. “She knows about viscera. Makes you proud,” Buffy says quietly. I feel like Giles would be proud too, because LOOK AT DAWNIE USING BOOLEAN SEARCH LOGIC. Four for you, Dawnie. You go Dawnie.

 

Buffy sighs and starts pacing the room. She says she has a feeling in her gut that they know exactly who did this and shouldn’t be wasting their time looking for demons.

Just then, the computer dings and Dawn proudly announces that she’s found their demon – a Gnarl. Fingernails Gollum’s fingernails secrete a paralysing agent, then cuts strips of skin off the victims while they’re still alive and eats them, and that it takes hours for them to die. Xander “nyargh”s and I concur. Buffy pooh-poohs a little saying that Dawn’s new to research. But homegirl says she knows she’s right because they didn’t mention a pool of blood. Buffy says there wasn’t one, and Dawn gets all smug before informing them that Gnarl drinks the blood. Buffy says that may give them a way to track it – the demon would be covered in flecks of blood – and that they have the perfect tracker. Dawn realises what she means straight away while Xander is confused.

Cut to the woods. Spike Timberlake crazies as the Scoobies follow from a distance. (L: This is so wrong on so many levels. I can’t even with using the crazy person as a bloodhound right now. FFS.) Xander’s still not on board with this plan, while Dawn is adorably fangirling over all the other non-magical ways they could track demons. She flails a little over the idea of making a database of tooth impressions and demon skin samples (I swear, Dawnie is a Giles waiting to happen), and then slips in an “and I can wear high heels more often!” at the end to remind us that she’s still a teenage girl. I LOVE HER SO MUCH IN SEASON 7. Up ahead, Xander bumps into Spike who’s stopped dead at the base of a cliff. Spike says they’ve arrived, and Buffy’s unimpressed at the lack of destination. Xander suggests that maybe it’s a “vicious, skin-eating rock cliff.” Spike gives him WTF face, then pulls a bush aside to reveal a cave not far up.


Lor: *Conveniently insane. You come around just in time for the puns, Spike. Just in time.

Sweeney: I…yeah, that’s weird. Someone discussed this at length in the comments on the last post and I’m inclined to agree. Again, I think that JM’s doing a fantastic job with the script he’s been given, but this whole, “LUCID FOR THE PUNNING!” thing is weird and distracting. (But, uh, good job with the punning?)

K: Punning is one of the things I missed most in season 6. Along with, you know, decent storylines.

Alterna-timeline. Willow stands outside the cave, then crawls in on her belly. It’s mostly dark, though there’s a fire in one corner. There are some skittery noises, then Fingernails Gollum’s voice says “All alone.” Willow looks freaked, but doesn’t GTFO like a normal person. Meanwhile, Xander, Buffy and Dawn are standing outside the cave. They crawl in too, and hear the skittery noises, realising they’re not alone. Gnarl creepy talks at Willow some more, and the Scoobies hear it all, though they can’t see her. Suddenly, Fingernails Gollum jumps out and scratches Dawn across the stomach before disappearing. Buffy asks if Dawn’s okay, and Dawnie’s all “Oh, sure, apart from the PARALYSING POISON.” They decide to get Dawn home (fair call) and deal with FG later. They head out with Dawn, sealing the cave behind them so FG can’t escape. Inside, Willow sees the mouth of the cave being covered and calls out to whoever it is to stop, with no effect. FG cackles behind her. Fade to black.

After the Not Commercial Break, Willow prays to the goddess to take away her enemy’s powers, but Fingernails Gollum creepy voices that he’s immune to magic. He then says that her friends left her there, so they must want him to have her. “No one comes to save you,” he sing-songs. Willow looks pretty terrified. Outside, Xander and Buffy carry a now-paralysed Dawn through the woods, and hypothesising that maybe the computer will know an antidote to the paralysis. Back in the cave, Fingernails Gollum taunts Willow some more, then slashes her across the stomach. She sinks to the ground. He taunts her again about her friends leaving her as a present for him, then drags her across the floor. He examines the slash on her stomach then licks up the blood as Willow looks disgusted. Dude, I would too. That thing is nasty.

Lor: I wouldn’t feel right until I added: EW EW EW EW EW.

Sweeney: EW EW EW EW EW.

K: SO MANY EWS, SO LITTLE TIME. Chez Summers. Buffy and Xander carry a now-completely-paralysed Dawn through the door and dump her on the sofa. Buffy checks the computer and discovers that the paralysis is permanent unless Fingernails Gollum is killed. She says that they should head back to the cave, but Xander says they can’t leave Dawn alone in case she drowns in her own vomit. Dawn makes “EW GROSS WTF” noises through her locked jaw. Buffy calls Anya to come and Dawn-sit.

Lor: Dawn made me giggle in this scene. Her “ew” noises were a lot of her going, “STOP TALKING ABOUT VOMIT.”

K: Creepy Cave. Fingernails Gollum taunts some more before cutting a piece of skin from Willow’s stomach and eating it. He bends over to lick up the blood again, and I can’t tell whether Willow’s facial expression is meant to be disgust or pain or both. Chez Summers. Anya asks what kind of paralysis Dawn has, and asks if they tried “this.” “This” turns out to be pushing Dawn’s feet up in the air. They stay there of their own accord, and the gang are amused/intrigued to learn that Dawn can be posed. Anya sits Dawn up and debates whether or not to make her salute. She informs them that she’s done two good deeds today, what with staying with Dawn AND helping Willow, and Buffy’s all “skkrrrt, WHAT?” Anya explains that Willow’s looking for them, and that she went to the cave.

Xander and Buffy “oh shit,” and announce that as Anya seems to know about Fingernails Gollum, she’s going to go with them. They leave Dawn sitting with two fingers in the air and the remote wedged in her hand. Dawn grunts her displeasure. Creepy Cave. Willow’s in tears now. She cries that her friends will return, and Fingernails Gollum is all “LOL NOPE” before eating another piece of skin from her stomach. Fade to black.

Sweeney: I can’t really tell you much of what happened in these ending bits because I couldn’t look. I’m very sorry you got recapping duty on this one.

K: I actually think the combination of having seen it ten times and having to stop every ten seconds to recap helped lessen the grossness. But yeah, usually I hide because GROSS. After the Not Commercial Break, Buffy, Xander and Anya run through the forest. Fingernails Gollum eats some more as Willow begs him to stop. The Scoobies burst into the cave, and Buffy attacks. Anya rushes over to Willow and is surprised that the others can’t see her. When he hears that she’s hurt, Xander rushes over to Willow, but Anya says his hand goes right through her. Buffy realises that the invisible thing is completely different to the Fingernails Gollum thing. FG attacks, but Buffy leaps back in the nick of time. Anya yells at her to go for the eyes. Buffy starts to fight him as Anya moves to reassures Willow. She tells her that Buffy and Xander are there, even though she can’t see them, and Willow cries with relief because she’s not alone. (L: HAY FEVER.)

Fingernails Gollum jumps over Buffy’s head and tries to attack from behind, but Buffy stabs him in the foot, pinning him to the ground. Then she gouges his eyes out with her thumbs. Xander makes disgusted noises. “Oh, Buffy killed the demon! It was gross,” Anya says to Willow. Willow finds that she can suddenly move again. Back at Chez Summers, Dawn topples off the sofa with a squeal. Meanwhile, Buffy and Xander still can’t see Willow. Anya says that she’s going to go get help, and runs out. Because, sure, leave the three people who can’t see each other together.

Buffy says to invisi-Willow that they’re really glad she’s back, even though they can’t see her. There’s a shimmer across the floor and Willow appears. “I couldn’t find you guys and I looked everywhere. And the demon said that you left me and— Oh, there you are. There you are! Don’t go away,” she says through her tears. They stare in horror at her wounds, but tell her that she’s going to be okay.

Cut to Willow’s room (aka Buffy’s old room) at Chez Summers. Buffy stands in the doorway, watching Willow meditate. Willow opens her eyes and Buffy apologises for interrupting. Willow says that she didn’t have the energy to continue because she wasn’t just meditating, she was using magic to grow new skin. Buffy jokes that Clem should probably cut back, then says that Dawn’s researching what caused the whole invisibility thing. With a pained expression, Willow says that she did it inadvertently. She was afraid that she wasn’t ready to see her friends that she accidentally cast a spell without knowing it.

Buffy confesses that she thought Willow was the one who killed the kid, but Willow tells her that it’s okay because she’s the Slayer and she has to think like that. She goes on to say that it’s okay if Buffy doesn’t think Willow can recover from the magic addition stuff, because sometimes she’s not sure either. With that, Willow leans forward and starts meditating again because it hurts too much not to try even though she doesn’t have the strength. “I got so much strength, I’m giving it away,” Buffy says. She holds Willow’s hands, and they meditate together as we fade to black.

Despite being 1000000% creeped out by Fingernails Gollum, I actually really liked this episode on this rewatch. It’s quite reminiscent of early Buffy episodes (like invisible Clea Duvall from season 1), Anya’s a lot less obnoxious, and Dawn wins all the awards for research skills and adorableness. Sure, the “Xander’s an idiot” stuff was like being hit over the head with a hammer, but after all the Not Using Their Words that’s been going on in both Sunnydale AND Los Angeles, that BFFs moment between Buffy and Willow at the end was fabulous.

Lor: I liked it too! I admit that it’s my (dun dun dun!) BIAS in part because (1) – it was lite on Spike and (2) – I’ve always had a soft spot for the Buffy/Willow relationship. It was rather convenient to have a skin eating monster immune to magic just as Willow showed up, but other things in the episode made up for that. Last episode, Willow said she was afraid of facing Sunnydale, and there in the cave with Gnarl, she was drowning in fears: abandoned by her friends, unable to use her magic effectively and receiving a bit of the treatment she inflicted on another to her great detriment. AND STILL, some part of her knew her friends wouldn’t just leave her.

Willow’s story of forgiveness and redemption is, for whatever reason, one I more feel in my heart than Spike’s. And I also can see that not all is well. She inadvertently hid from her friends here, proving that her magic is still just beyond the realm of her control. She isn’t sure she’s strong enough, but hell if I wasn’t touched by Buffy offering to lend her some strength.

I have to note, though, that I found the parallels being drawn between Anya and Willow very interesting– the souled thing and the demon, relating to each other about their fears of hurting people. Soul or no, everyone has the capability to hurt others and no one is safe from doing so.

I know I said like a positive thing about Spike, but damn, his interactions with Buffy continue to confound me. This was super relaxed considering the last time we saw those two he was throwing himself on a cross. That was weird.

Lastly: GNARL, EW, EW, EW, EW.

Sweeney: A+ to all of these things. This episode was really enjoyable in spite of the repulsive had-to-look-away freak of the week, and that final scene with Willow and Buffy gave me lots of squishy happy feels.

But because it can’t be said enough times: GNARL, EW, EW, EW, EW.

 

Next time: Buffy helps Sunnydale’s troubled teens, including one who’s convinced she only has a week to live. Find out more in S07 E04 – Help.

 

K (all posts)

I'm a 30-something librarian and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. Leader of Team Heartless Cow. I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and read more than is good for me.





Marines (all posts)

I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.





Nicole Sweeney (all posts)

Nicole is the co-captain of Snark Squad and these days she spends most of her time editing podcasts. She spends too much time on Twitter and very occasionally vlogs and blogs. In her day job she's a producer, editor, director, and sometimes host of educational YouTube channels. She loves travel, maps, panda gifs, and semicolons. Writing biographies stresses her out; she crowd sourced this one years ago and has been using a version of it ever since. She would like to thank Twitter for their help.





 

K

I'm a 30-something librarian and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. Leader of Team Heartless Cow. I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and read more than is good for me.