Angel S04 E11 – Burn

Previously: It was all a dream.
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Soulless

Lorraine:  We start zoomed in on a bundle of newspapers with the headline, “Crime Wave Shuts Down City.” I’m not sure why no one is helping this city, but okay. City Shut Down. Connor grabs the bundle and uses it to hit a vampire he’s fighting. It’s actually a group of vampires and more keep appearing. He dusts a few of them with a, “Welcome to LA,” though he doesn’t add the obligatory, “bitch,” that I feel belongs there.

Sweeney: Bad form, Connor.

Lor: Connor looks up and there are lots more vampires coming at him from both sides.

Brooding Hotel. Wesley opens up a safe hidden behind a picture while Cordelia stands behind him, holding the bottle that holds Angel’s soul. As they stand there, looking grave over putting their boss’s soul in a safe, I’m overcome by how little I care for these characters. I like you guys, though, so I soldier on.

Kirsti: Can we just watch season 1 on a loop? I mean, it wasn’t great. But there was Doyle and Actual In Character Cordy and Crossover Magic and Oz Turned Up and…good times, yo.

Sweeney: DOYLE.

That’s all I have to say. I was just overcome by feelings and this distant memory of a better time.

Lor: Glad we are all on the same page.

Wesley tries to convince us that bringing Angelus back is a good plan, or really, the only plan they have. Cordelia reminds us again some more that she’s seen Angelus’s evil doings first hand. Blah, blah, he was evil incarnate back in his day, and now that he’s back, he’ll probably slaughter them if they give him a chance. Wesley says he’s going to go downstairs, with all the bravado and weird intensity that have come to characterize him. Apparently, he’s spent his whole life training for this (really?) but he’s still not ready. The rest of the Fang Gang are to watch on the monitor and see if Angelus spills anything. Wesley keeps talking about how he won’t see what Angelus has coming when we cut to the basement. Angelus is sitting on the floor singing Teddy Bear Picnic. Angelus can’t sing much better than Angel, just FYI.

K: It would be much funnier if he could. Like, Angelus was this amazing tenor who liked to sing opera in his spare time, whereas Angel can barely croak out Barry Manilow. Sorry not sorry for my random headcanons. It’s the only way I can get through this show any more.

Lor: Electric Cellos.

Where Have All the Good Souls Gone Basement. Wesley greets Angelus and what follows is a long confrontation, with each party trying to out smart the other. Lots of staring, lots of low voices, lots of short sentences. Angelus says he wouldn’t hate a chair and Wesley mock-apologizes for the accommodations, but the last time he was loose, he was terrorizing Sunnydale. Man! I’d forgotten that CrAngel wasn’t Angelus. Wesley gets slightly creepy when he says he’s imagined this moment many times and dedicated many years of study to it. He’s read everything ever written on Angelus. I mean… I get that this is a subject he would want to be educated on, but this revelation that Wes has been all about the Angelus make his push to de-soul Angel super suspect.

Wesley settles down and Angelus says he’s an open book, willing to talk about any matter, though he already knows Wes is here to chat about the Beast. Wesley’s first question is if Angelus knew the Beast. Angelus answers by mocking the question, but Wesley ignores him and asks why Angel wouldn’t remember the Beast. Angelus rolls his eyes– it would be so like Angel to block out the “good times.” Angelus wants a turn and asks Wesley what’s up with Angel and Raiders of the Lost Ark. It was part of his perfect happiness fantasy, as was his desire to have everyone pitch in while defeating the Beast, all to get what he wanted.

K: LOL. Angel’s version of Perfect Happiness involves Wes getting stabbed in the hand.

Lor: Angelus says everyone has an agenda and Wesley’s is to play the big hero, not because there is an apocalypse brewing (that’s always the case) but because he wants to impress the girl.

Angelus starts to talk lewdly about Fred and we cut upstairs where the rest of Fang Gang are watching. Through the monitor, we hear Angelus tell Wesley that his crush isn’t exactly a secret. Fred tells Gunn that they can’t believe what Angelus says. Gunn: How ’bout the stuff that’s true? Can we believe that? Cordelia offers that Angelus lies with the truth. Fred says it’s only words, but everyone’s face says otherwise.

Back in the basement, Wesley wants to know if they can move on. All Angelus offers on the Beast is that they’ve been digging in the wrong places.

Angelus: You know, you’re not fooling anyone. Get some new clothes, cool haircut, hit the gym—you’re still the same loser none of the other kids wanted to sit with at lunch.
Wesley: Yet you’re locked in that cage, and I’m out here.
Angelus: So? You’ve got no leverage. What are you going to do? Kill me?
Wesley: If I have to.
Angelus: Wait ’til they drop, Wes, then try that line again.

It kind of feels like I’m supposed to add in my own “sick burn!” after every couple of lines. I keep expecting someone to ask, “YOU WANNA GO?”

Sweeney: GO WHERE?

Also, this is awesome. Between the fact that David Boreanaz is a thousand times better at playing Angelus than Angel and the fact that these characters have all become piss poor imitations of their former selves (save for Lorne, who never talks to Angelus so it’s whatevskies) I’m enjoying this.

Lor: Wesley says it’s whatever because he’ll just put his soul back in place. He starts to leave and Angelus mocks his stamina and again brings it back to Fred not wanting him. Wesley volleys back that he must hate watching Angel fight evil. Angel thinks Wesley must hate having to hear everyone call Angel “champion.” None of us hate it though because: SHOTS! Wesley says he does his part. Angelus: Right. Like letting Lilah suck Lorne’s brain. Or, here’s an oldie but a goodie: Faith. Good job being her watcher. She turned out to be a peach.

 

K: The addition of Tom Hiddleston just made this post about 10,000 times more interesting. Excellent gif selection, Lor.

Lor: Thank you.

Angelus has been back twice and hasn’t managed to hang around.
Wesley kidnapped Connor.
Wesley’s father is ashamed of him.
Connor is ashamed of Angel(us).

So goes their laundry list of faults until Wesley brings it back to Cordelia’s vision of Angelus and the Beast, but Angelus wants to talk about Cordelia. Upstairs, Gunn tells Cordy they don’t have to watch, but she says she’s fine, which is either dumb or suspect, considering what she knows Angel(us) knows about her. It comes out soon enough as Angelus asks Wesley if it’s worse that he stole Connor or that Cordelia banged him. I can imagine the chorus of Traumateer voices shouting, “THE BANGING. THE BANGING.”

K: THE BANGING IS A MILLIONTY TIMES WORSE, ANGELUS. STOP BRINGING IT UP.

Lor: Fred starts to poo-poo the accusation. “Now, that’s just ridiculous. Connor’s Angel’s son. It’d be like sleeping with your own—” Behind Cordelia, Lorne is giving her ixnay on the incestway hands. Fred’s all, “oh”. Downstairs, Angelus asks for something to drink.

Connor arrives, pretty beat up. Everyone looks at him like he banged his kind of mommy. Wesley says Angelus wants blood, making it pretty clear who is calling the shots down in the basement. Fred and Gunn quickly volunteer to go get it. When they go downstairs to take it to Angelus, he calls them Othello and Desdemona. (K: Does this make Angelus Iago??) Gunn quickly threatens Angelus, who starts his sick burns by asking Gunn if that’s what the boss man would want, continuing the theme of Gunn being the hired muscle. Angelus turns his attention on Fred: Ah, Fred. You look all fresh and sweet, but I hear you at night in your room with Gunn. The things you say. I’m lying there, listening, hands under the covers… I can’t help myself. It’s so… gripping.

He can… hear them… having sex. Always.

VAMPIRE ROOMMATES ARE THE WORST.

K: GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS. As if staring at Cordy and Connor’s vom-tastic sexy times wasn’t bad enough.

Sweeney: This is awful and YET, if they actually live/work with him, surely they’re aware of his super hearing and OH MY GOD I JUST FUCKING CAN’T. I’d be out of that hotel in a hot minute the second I put that shit together. But then, I also would have skipped out on all the demon fighting and general scary stuff.

Lor: The free room and board would be nice but probably not at all worth it.

Fred meanwhile has placed the cup of blood on a cart and is rolling it over as Gunn tells Angelus to step back. For some reason, Fred decides to just stand there in front of the cart, like a big, dumb target. Angelus waits a bit before kicking the cart, causing Fred to fall onto it and into striking distance. Angelus grabs her, making it hard for Gunn to get a clear shot. He drops the crossbow and tries to strong arm Fred out of Angelus’ grip. Ultimately, Wes saves her by shooting Angelus with tranquilizer darts. I would question this but if Spike can drown, Angelus can be knocked out by a tranq gun. For sure.

K: There is at least a precedent for this one – in Doppelgangland, they knocked out Vamp!Willow with the tranq gun that they kept in the Wiggins Library (nostalgia shots!) for Oz-related issues.

Lor: Gunn fusses over Fred. Wesley says that Gunn played right into Angelus’ hand. Now, I own my opinions and, if we wanna use the b word, biases. So, help me here, is everything Wesley says painfully superior or is it me? (K: NOT JUST YOU.) (S: HERE AND ALSO ALL THE TIME.) Fred hugs Gunn and says she’s happy he’s there.

In one of the rooms, Cordelia brings Connor one of his dad’s shirts. WHAT THE HELL. Wesley or Gunn couldn’t donate a less traumatic shirt to the cause? I mean, Cordy says she obvs wasn’t going to take one from Lorne, but damn. I was kind of joking about Cordelia being evil now, but she either is or she came back with some serious brain trauma. Cordelia tries to mother Connor in Angel’s Shirt, but he yells at her that he just wants to get out of the hotel, since everyone is looking at him funny. She explains that they all know about the banging now. Connor doesn’t care. Cordy tells him to get some rest but he yells, “YOU’RE NOT MY MOMMY.” Something like that.

Fred finds Wesley to thank him for saving her. She takes a furtive look back, and Wesley follows suit before telling her that Gunn isn’t around. Fred explains that Gunn heard everything Angelus said about how Wesley feels. She says it’s sweet and there is nothing wrong with it and Wesley takes this moment TO KISS HER. Fuck a bias. This guy is an asshole. Someone is going to tell me that Fred is kissing back. FINE. FRED IS KISSING BACK. SHE’S AN ASSHOLE TOO. I DON’T LIKE ANYONE ON THIS DAMN SHOW. Except Lorne. Where’s Lorne?

K: A+ and total agreement. Telling a guy that it’s sweet that he likes you is NOT AN INVITATION FOR HIM TO STICK HIS TONGUE DOWN YOUR THROAT. Fuck you, Wesley. 

Sweeney:

Lor: Wes and Fred break apart and look super guilty just as Gunn walks in. He asks what’s going on and Wesley says to leave Fred out of it, because Fred is some sort of baby to both these men and it’s gross. Gunn yells, Wesley scowls, and downstairs, Angelus revels in the shouting.

Fred tries to push Gunn out of the room but the fight keeps on going. Lorne and Cordelia come out now, but can’t stop the fight either. Wesley gets up in Gunn’s face and says he can’t give Fred what she needs. Gunn punches Wesley IN THE FACE. A few more punches are exchanged and in the shuffle, Gunn accidentally hits Fred in the face with his elbow. She falls to the ground and he looks back at her apologetically. Cordelia does go to her side, but as further evidence in the evil and/or brain damaged case I’m making, she didn’t say a word during the fight. In what world would Cordelia Chase not tell these assholes to stop being assholes? A world I no longer want to be a part of. And by that I mean watch episodes of.

K: YUP.

Lor: During all this Connor has managed to sneak down into the basement. Angelus recognizes his shirt and says it looks good on Connor. He smirks and says Cordy looked good on him too. What’s that? Ah, yes, the chorus of Traumateer voices again:

 

Angelus remembers that Connor promised to kill him, though he says that might not be necessary with Connor’s track record. He claims Darla staked herself just to get away from Connor. Then, Holtz stabbed himself in the neck because he was so disappointed. Connor explodes and claims Holtz was a good man. Angel: And now my boy’s in love. All hearts and flowers. But, doesn’t it freak you out that she used to change your diapers? I mean, when you think about it, the first woman you boned is the closest thing you’ve ever had to a mother. Doing your mom and trying to kill your dad. Hm. There should be a play.

K: I kind of love all of Angelus’ play references. NGL, I giggled over this one. Especially seeing as Connor wouldn’t have any idea that there IS a play.

Sweeney: Angelus snark, calling bullshit all ’round the building with a side of the Angel/art OTP? Possibly the best thing that’s happened all season.

Lor: Connor believes that Angel is just a mask that Angelus wears, but that in the end, Angelus is really his father. It’s telling not only of how Connor sees Angel, but of how he thinks of himself– son of a demon. David Boreanaz does some pretty great acting here as he registers this revelation and smiles slightly at what it means. He starts to goad Connor into a fight, but nothing really comes of it because Cordelia arrives. She sends Connor to his room and he scampers off.

Cordelia disconnects the camera and then approaches the cage. She has an offer for Angelus: information on the Beast for herself. (K: EW.) She’s willing to give herself to Angelus to do as he pleases if he helps them save the world. We cut to sometime later, as Cordelia tells the rest of the Gang that Angelus is willing to talk now, though she won’t tell him how she got him to.

Wes sits in front of the cage as he asks Angelus for the story of his dealings with the Beast. It was 1789 in Prussia. Terrible Wig Flashback time! Angelus walks around in a field scattered with bodies. He came across this massacre and followed the trail, planted by the Beast. It purposefully led Angelus to him because he needed his help. The Svea Priestesses were after the Beast to banish him, and there was nothing it could do about it because of magic and reasons. A vampire could get rid of them, though. So, if Angelus got rid of the Svear, then the Beast owed him a favor. Angelus declined and we flashback again to the Beast punching him IN THE FACE. Thankfully, the Svea Priestesses also have impeccable timing and show up to banish the Beast. Wesley wants more information, but that’s all Angelus has.

Upstairs, the Gang is all researching. Fred finds the Svea Priestesses in a giant, old book. She and Wesley struggle over the runes, but think the book makes mention of the Beast. Meanwhile, Gunn has been using the Yellow Pages and found there address, 25 minutes away. This is stupid, but also, good on Gunn.

K: What the hell category were they listed under?!?!

Lor: Connor, Wesley and Cordelia pay the Svea Priestesses a visit. They find a darkened house and the front door open. Inside, Cordelia smells something and I guess Connor had his super sense of smell turned off. The entire Svear family has been murdered. Cordelia wonders if the Beast is psychic since it always knows what they are going to do next. IDK. Sounds like an inside job. She wonders if Angelus had anything to do with it, but Wesley says they’ve all been dead for days. This upsets Connor a lot and he has to run out of the house. He’s sick all over the grass. Cordelia follows him out there and tries to comfort him, but he flinches away. He’s distraught over this picture of a family. Not a normal family, but a family nonetheless, and Angelus recently reminded him that his is fucked up. No time for too many emotions, though, ’cause some vampires attack. Connor stakes one and holds the other one off long enough for Wesley to appear with their getaway car.

Brooding Lobby. Gunn, Fred and Lorne watch Angelus on the monitor. He’s still singing. Fred notes how relaxed Angelus is, and Lorne says that in his mind, he’s not in a cage. #deep. Connor, Wesley and Cordelia get back and explain to the others that they only found dead Svear. Everyone’s all, “welp. That’s that!” and it’s decided that they should put Angel’s soul back in.

Cordelia heads downstairs to be all, “thanks for nothing” and then, “PSYCHE.” about giving herself to him. He had to see that coming. He’s being suddenly touted as some evil mastermind, so he had to see that coming. But apparently not because he’s pretty pissed off and riled up by this development. Cordy gloats that they’ll have his soul back in him soon, but Angel seems convinced that he’ll be sticking around for a little longer. He tries to reach her through the bars of the cage, but she’s standing just outside his reach. She smirks and leaves and he threatens her some more as she goes.

K: With a really stupid threat – “Something tells me she’s a screamer.” Uh, yeah, that would be like seven years in Cordy’s company. Homegirl had screaming written into her contract.

Sweeney: See, I don’t think that was a stupid threat (also not a threat at all?) — I thought that was the point. A joke at Cordelia’s long history of screaming throughout the Buffyverse.

Lor: It’s an implied threat. If he’s calling her a screamer, it’s an extension of his desire to make her scream. And I like the idea that it’s an in-joke.

Upstairs, there’s one big problem: Angel’s soul is missing.

And they probably didn’t have time to get an insurance policy on it, huh?

 

Next time: The Fang Gang try to get the soul into Angel, thereby getting rid of that pesky -us in Angel S04 E12 – Calvary.