Angel S04 E13 – Five By Five

Previously: Angel is still with that +us, now on the loose, Cordelia’s evil, and Lilah came back to die.
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Salvage

Sweeney: Angelus is strolling the halls of Brooding HQ, and is bummed when he finds Lilah’s corpse, because that’s less fun. He feeds on her anyway, and is still feeding when Wes and Gunn round the corner. Gunn throws his weapon with terrible aim, given the range. Angelus drops Lilah and flees through the window. Wes’s face falls when he takes in the sight of dead Lilah.

Gunn goes back to the lobby where the others are tending to a wound in Cordelia’s leg. Gunn informs them that Lilah’s dead. Cordelia gets shifty eyes and ominously announces that it’s started. Electric Cellos.

Lorraine: Really, Cordelia? Because I feel like it’s been going on foooorever.

Kirsti: I can’t help but notice that now the big reveal on Evil!Cordy has happened, the zoomy cameraman is working overtime to make up for missed opportunities.

Sweeney: You can tell he’d been saving that up.

The gang cover up Lilah’s body and Connor wants to get directly to the killing, but Wes points out that Angelus will definitely come back to off the people closest to Angel. For now, they stick together. Fred wants to focus on having an actual plan and Connor’s pissed that all the plans involve magic, given how poorly their last attempt at magic worked out. Connor also says that they need to take care of the body, since they don’t know if she was turned. Wes looks shell-shocked at first, but agrees and says he’ll handle it.

Poolbar overrun by vamps. Angelus announces to the bar that Angel’s gone and Angelus is back. Everyone he interacts with goes total fanboy/girl flail. (K: Is there some kind of “Famous vampires through history” handbook that you receive when you become a vampire that allows this to happen??) Angelus stakes a vamp and stabs another demon in the hand for their flailing. Eventually, some vamps tell him where he can find The Beast.

Lor: Pretty cool that you dedicated so few words to that scene, because it was really stupid.

Sweeney: Brooding HQ. Wes takes Lilah’s body to the basement. Lilah starts talking to him – tells him he shouldn’t be so glum because this is probably what she wanted. With her out of the picture his life is simpler and cleaner. He hated himself for being with her and the whole thing was bound to have a messy end for someone. Wes tries to say it wasn’t even a relationship and by this point she’s standing. She says the signed dollar bill in his pocket says otherwise and he knew how she felt. He cuts her off, insisting that she didn’t love him before looking down at her no-longer-animated corpse. “You couldn’t.” Another, differently dressed Lilah appears behind him and adds, “We’ll never know now, will we?”

That was rough. Their super seriously fucked up relationship had the most potential of any of the shit shows we’re seeing and I hate that she died primarily in plot service to the Wesley/Fred relationship. I’m glad the show has Wesley actually addressing/acknowledging his Lilah feels, but it just feels cheap and shitty that it’s happening now. (Which, as with most of our current gripes, is a fundamental story issue.)

Lor: Agreed. It was strange to have the, “well, that was convenient,” voiced by Lilah. And for as uncomfortable as Lilah and Wesley made me at points that was an in-story thing. They were a strange pair. This convenient wrap up? Meh.

K: At least the convenience of it was acknowledged, I guess??

Sweeney: I suppose. There’s a kind of dark humor in having Lilah be the one to acknowledge the convenience of her own death.

The fanboy vamps lead Angelus to The Beast, and then they want to tag along, but Angelus has no interest in that.

Brooding HQ. Lorne’s on the phone getting the recipe for their magical vampire protection spell. It’s cute because Lorne. Connor brats about magic and his Angelus bloodlust some more. Fred reminds him that Wesley says they need to stick together, and Gunn agrees. She adds that Angel’s soul is still out there, in spite of Connor’s KILL! eagerness. Cordelia offers that people will die without Angel to help them, probably to keep anyone from killing Angelus. Connor has no fucks to give, since Angelus has already tasted blood. Connor goes to leave and Cordelia stands up to try and stop him, but she faints. Connor stays to help her upstairs.

Lor: Yeah, so far I’m not a fan of having Cordelia be evil. That said, taking so long to reveal it was such a disservice to the story line. I mean, sure, we can look back and think of the things Cordy did and apply the evil revelation to them. The thing is, though, that our feelings have already been felt and that’s hard to take back. So, in my head right now is, “yeah, I know she’s evil, but fuck Cordelia.” Anyway, all that to say that it’s also a shame because being in the know is so much more fun. Watching Cordelia conveniently faint while Connor is about to head off to kill Angelus? Real smooth, Evil C.

K: YUP. Plus, thinking back and applying the evil revelation kind of requires anything about this show to be memorable. Which it’s really REALLY not. 

Sweeney: I can think of a few memorable traumatic moments, for sure. But the big, potentially OOC moments? The series has veered so far outside of having established parameters that no, none stand out because there’s this feeling of, “ALL OF THE MOMENTS.”

As he walks off, Gunn notes that Connor will go off for the kill as soon as he gets a chance. Lorne says that he’ll probably die trying, but  neither of them know who — aside from Angel — could keep Connor in check.

Segue Magic to a prison in Stockton, CA and OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IS IT TRUE? Lady prisoners are doing stuff in the prison yard. The guard announces that he’s opening the gate and we pan to the gate where we see MOTHER FUCKING FAITH LEHANE emerge. I’m dying right now, because this is legitimately THING #1 that this show needed right now. I’m sad that actual!Angel isn’t around for this, because their last scene together was absolute perfection, but I don’t even care, because this is the best thing to happen all season. She hasn’t even done anything besides exist on my screen and I still feel it’s the best thing that has happened all season.

Lor: SAME REACTION! In fact, I g-chatted Kirsti and then immediately emailed Sweeney and Kirsti. FAITH! FAITH! FAITH! I’M SO EXCITED.

K: I knew this was coming, and have been waiting for this moment from approximately half way through season 2. Because FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAITH!!!!!! 

Sweeney: After a Not Break, she does some pull ups and looks real fierce, but also with really sweet hair for someone who is in prison (K: My notes say the same thing). She’s also ditched the coma makeup, which was a good stylistic choice. While she’s doing those pull ups, another prisoner comes at her from behind with a Bringer knife. She does a really cool twist and leg-choke-hold maneuver and then a fight scene in which she mostly does cool stuff like that to disable the other chick, who has been paid (by the Bringers, one would assume) to kill her. The guards come up after Faith has already taken the chick out, insisting that it just took them by surprise too, since Faith has enough of a reputation that coming after her seems insane.

Lor: Um, I’m pretty sure Faith slapped that lady in the face… WITH A BARBELL. Dear God.

K: Fun fact: that’s the same actress who was one of the Order of Taraka assassins in What’s My Line Part 2. You know, the one who was disguised as a cop and tried to kill Buffy but just ended up shooting Oz instead. Her character here has a different name, but I like to think it’s the same one and that she’s just using an alias.

Sweeney: A recurring hired Slayer Assassin! She keeps failing, though, so that’s going to be bad for business.

Basement of Exes Past. Well Dressed Lilah says that the reason Wesley is struggling so much with chopping of her head is that he couldn’t save her from herself. He asks if that’s what she thought and she notes that she’s a figment of his imagination, which means it’s what he thought. There was clearly a small part of him that always thought he could help her find redemption. This whole dating-someone-to-save them bit is actually doing a fair bit make sure I don’t regret their relationship much. Lilah keeps talking, but stops, mid-sentence, as soon as he chops her head off. He’s got all the feels and they are contagious. It’s been so long since we’ve seen Wesley express this much emotion, show true pangs of regret, and it’s making me feel many feelings.

Lor: Alexis Denisof is a great actor, too, so when the script calls from emotion from him, it’s a nice treat. More emotions for Wesley, please!

K: Personally, I’d like more comedy from Wes because Alexis Denisof is BRILLIANT at the comedic stuff – just look at some of his scenes in Much Ado About Nothing – as well as being great at the emotional stuff. But I’ll settle for having feels over the emotional stuff. It’s better than the nothingness the scripts have given him to work with in the past…

Sweeney: Agreed on both counts. Having him do all this stoic-stare-down shit has been an absolute waste. (Like putting Jonathan Groff in Frozen and not giving him a real song.) (…but I loved Reindeers Are Better Than People because #truth)

Angelus finds The Beast and they chat. Angelus wants to meet the Big Boss that set Angelus free, but The Beast says that for now he’s just got to STFU and take orders. Angelus isn’t having any of that, and adds that The Big Boss surely knows that Angelus isn’t one for order-taking. Angelus goads The Beast, calling him names and The Beast clearly is clunky and stupid in spite of super cool wise-sounding voice, because he starts attacking. Angel ducks easily and skips out.

Cordelia comes in and basically calls him stupid for being so easily baited, adding that Angelus is super important to the plan, but if things don’t work out then The Beast can tear him to shreds. Then they make out because S4’s subtitle is, “Cordelia Has Unnecessary, Gross Romantic Interactions.”

Lor:

K: With a side of this, because EW:

Actually, can I hit the forget button too? Because I’d really like to do both.

Sweeney: Brooding HQ. Lorne is finishing up the chanting, and the others are all, “Is that it? Really?” Connor brats some more about how stoopid magic is. Lorne goes to hit him over the head with his scepter and I cheer, but too soon because the spell is working and it knocks Lorne back. Damn.

Lor: You know that it takes a lot for Lorne to resort to violence. I truly believe that Connor is “a lot.”

Sweeney: Not even Lorne can stand your shit, Connor.

Wes comes upstairs and confirms that the spell is working. You can really see the demeanor shift from the basement — now that he’s back among the others, he’s back to his faux-badass front. Don’t do it Wes! Embrace the feels! He tells everyone that the plan has changed and they’re bringing Angelus in alive. He’s also a little more feelsy than usual when he adds (shot glasses ready, y’all!) “We can’t get out without our Champion. We’re going to save Angel.” And he knows exactly who can help them get Angel back.

Prison Where Prisoners Protect Themselves. Faith has a visitor. She says she never thought she’d live long enough to see him paying her a visit — you know, with her having tortured him the last time she saw him. He says a lot has happened and they need her. She reminds him that he’s got another couple decades until her parole comes up and she’d probably just cause trouble if she came into the fold – better to wait until Angel saves the day. Wes drops the, “Angel’s gone, Angelus is in da house” bomb and that – rather than the whole sun-blotted-out-just-in-Los-Angeles thing – has her scared. The exchange silent, zoomy stares, before she tells him to step away from the glass.

She grabs Wesley before diving out a window, using her body as a shield for his when they land on a car. That jump seems a little high even for Slayer Strength™ to be able to just walk it off immediately, but FAITH’S BACK IN THE MIX SO I DON’T EVEN CARE. She asks Wes if he’s all right. “Five by five,” he answers, so that I can keep doing my Faith’s Back Y’all! flaily dance.

Lor: Oh, what the hell. It’s been a while and FAITH’S BACK, EVERYONE:

K: Not only is Faith back, but Wes’ “five by five” line made me squee. Because EVEN THE DUDE SHE TORTURED IS GLAD TO HAVE HER BACK. Plus, Faith is just so BAMF-tastic with that little “Step away from the glass” line. In short: YAYAYAYAYAYAY.

Sweeney: In the car, Wesley’s catching Faith up to speed on stuff like “Angel’s got a teenage kid” and “Cordelia spent a summer as a higher being.” She notes that letting Angelus out was probably a majorly stupid move. A little late for that helpful advice, girl. She’s silent for a moment before she adds that she’s not sure what Wesley got her out for, but killing Angelus is off the table. “Angel’s the only one in my life who’s never given up on me — I’m not giving up on him.” Wesley assures her that’s not the plan, but that this is why it had to be her.

Wesley stops the car so they they can get attacked by vampires to test whether or not Faith is rusty. Even tells a vampire that he should attack her instead of him. The vampire’s all, “Slayer? Fuck that,” and runs off. Wes tosses her a stake and she offs the others before they get back into the car and keep going. Random, but OK.

Lor: It was a little random, but in retrospect, I appreciate it a little more. Angelus brought up one of Wesley’s greatest shortcomings: his attempt to be Faith’s Watcher. On a night where he must feel pretty fail-y, it was nice to see him have this small Watcher-like moment. He tosses her the stake, asks her how she feels. Considering that one of their last interactions was Faith torturing Wesley, this was a nice way to show that they’ve both come a long way.

Sweeney: Aah, yes. That’s such an excellent point. The one thing he never really got a do-over on was his tenure as a Watcher and this is his opportunity.

Also, I’d add that he tells Faith that it has to be her to help with Angel, because of their relationship, but it also had to be Wesley, telling her break free. Given what she did to him, it was important that he be the one to tell her it was time to come out.

Hyperion. Connor’s air fighting and Gunn is pacing. Lorne tells them to chill the fuck out. Just as Gunn says that he wants to be ready, Wesley enternounces that they are, now. Faith is impressed that they have a hotel now. Man, it’s been a while! Fred tries to introduce herself, but Faith ain’t got time for that, because she’s already been given a rundown on the gang. Cordelia comes in PISSED because Faith was not included in her Big Evil Plan. (K: LOLOLOLOLOL. Also, she’s clearly evil now because she’s wearing all black.) (S: All she needs is a good pair of leather pants! Except leather maternity pants sound like the actual worst fashion idea ever.) Faith tells her that she’s got every right to hate her and stuff, but time being of the essence, she should save that for later. Faith gets directly to the order giving, adding that Gunn and “the kid” will be with her. In addition to whatever other weapons he wants on him, she adds that he needs the tranq gun just in case. “This is a salvage mission.” Girl, I am so happy to give you this fancy star:

Connor starts to brat that she’s not the boss of him, but she shuts him up real quick. He makes lovestruck puppy eyes after she walks away. Evil Cordelia is not pleased.

Random Los Angeles Street. Angelus starts to kill a random blonde, but overhears some other vamps saying that The Slayer is in town. He goes to a payphone and calls Sunnydale. Dawn answers and he asks if her sister’s home. When Dawn says that she is, he hangs up. “It’s the other one.”

Lor: I can’t even handle how much Buffy should be in LA right now, but okay.

K: Does this count as Crossover Magic even if we don’t hear Dawn’s voice????

Sweeney: The number of times this episode mentions the word slayer (as is about to happen again) automatically qualifies it. Also YES, it’s ridiculous that nobody even called Buffy. (And that she didn’t call them before The First went into “remission.”)

Connor flirt-asks why the slayers are always girls. She says she guesses that they’re just better at it and he suggests that she see what he can do. “Let’s not.” LOLOLOL. Shot down!

No time to dwell, though, because his inherited super smelling powers tell him that they’ve picked up Angelus’s trail. They walk slowly and Faith tells them not to do anything until she orders it. A vamp pops out and Connor’s quick to behead it. Faith slams him up against a wall and says that he clearly thought it was Angelus and if he can’t take orders, he’s useless to her. She wants him sent back, but Gunn says Connor’s not one for orders. Faith says he’ll listen to her orders, which Connor laughs at, and so they fight.

“I get it – you’re a super being. Are you a murderer? ‘Cause I am. And if it comes down to you or Angelus, you haven’t shown me a thing to make me want to take your side.“

Connor relents. Gunn and Wesley’s smirks in the background of that scene were priceless. They’ve clearly wanted this shit put in his place for a while.

K: Meanwhile, I’m cheering in my living room, because YUP. 

Sweeney: They round a corner and find a giant sign welcoming Faith. “So much for the element of surprise,” sighs Wesley. Faith tells them to take low as she starts to climb. A minion vamp attacks Wesley.

Upstairs, Faith has her crossbow out and Angelus is calling from somewhere unseen that they haven’t really met and he needs her to come to him. She follows the sound down some stairs, and he says she’s getting warmer, keeping up the Marco, Polo act until she finds him. “Honey, I brought a guest home for dinner,” he calls out, and The Beast emerges.

After a Not Break, Angelus explains that this is a Slayer. Faith makes a series of highly ineffectual attacks on The Beast. Angelus mostly just watches and offers snarky commentary, save for a brief moment when he’s in the vicinity to get elbowed IN THE FACE. The Beast starts fighting back and Faith is getting her ass kicked.

Lor: Rare are the moments where one could think, “I should’ve stayed in prison.”

Sweeney: The hallmark of an exceptionally rough day.

Elsewhere, we see that Wesley is still fighting minion vamps. No idea where the fuck Gunn and Connor are at right now.

Lor: Walking back to the hotel? Because of reasons.

Sweeney: Faith gets straight up tossed around like a rag doll. She crawls out from some barrels, clearly in pain. The Beast monologues that he thought Slayers were powerful, but she’s clearly weak and superlame, unlike his all-powerful master. Angelus chimes in that probably nothing could defeat this guy except, maybe, himself. “Or a piece of himself,” and Angelus stabs him in the back. Literally and metaphorically. The Beast’s chest gets all glowy and then it expands until he explodes and emits a big light glow deal that looks kind of like when Cordelia ascended, only this time it goes up to the sun and unblocks it.

Outside, this handles the vamps Wesley was fighting.

Inside, Angelus is mad that it wasn’t just Angel’s stupid fantasy that killing The Beast would bring back the sun. “Oh well, what are you gonna do?” Angelus says he really just wanted The Beast to soften her up. Faith struggles to stand up and grabs some chains and throws them through the window, flooding the spot where she is with sunlight. Angelus gets out of the way in time. He adds that they’ll have to take a rain check on that big fight and exits.

Hyperion. Fred and Lorne are outside admiring the sun. Connor and Gunn return to join the YAY! SUN! party. They have no war stories to share, what with them not having been there. An awestruck Connor says that surely Faith fought and defeated The Beast, before excitedly running upstairs to tell Cordelia. Gunn says that if Faith could defeat The Beast, then capturing Angelus should be NBD.

Connor is too busy fanboying to Cordelia about Faith, to notice her disingenuous excitement about the sun’s return. “A weakness for slayers. You’re definitely his son.” She goes on to say that there is something Connor needs to know, and she’s super awkward about it. That thing is that she and Connor are having a baby, and she reveals her actually pregnant stomach.

OH MY GOD NO.

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN, that S4 tagline continues to be a thing, with Cordelia telling Connor that the two of them are now connected forever and they make out.

FUCK.

Lor: LOLOL. I’m laughing at how ruined I am, mostly. The thing is, this is awful, but this episode wasn’t even that bad. I mean, I wasn’t bored while watching it and FAITH! and I had things to say during the recap that weren’t just, “EW.” and “WHY?” and “MAKE IT STOP.”

Some of the filler scenes were kind of dull, like Angelus in the bar or any scene with the left behind Fang Gang that didn’t involved Lorne trying to whack Connor. I already mentioned that I much prefer knowing Cordelia is evil, but also, I still have no fucking clue what her plan is/was. Bring back the Beast to blot out the sun which would cause the Fang Gang to bring back Angelus? Who she wanted? LOLWHUT? Either (a) – I don’t have the full story or (b) – they haven’t done a great job explaining it or (c) – worst. plan. ever. (K: As one who can see the future, allow me to say that it’s (d) all of the above.)

Angelus continues to be insane and kind of delightful but also, not really the ingenuous evil mastermind they play him out to be. Really, dude? YOU JUST SAVED THE DAY. I mean, I get that he plays by nobody’s rules, but that makes him a fly by the seat of his pants evil, not a mastermind, plotting evil.

Lastly, about 30 minutes after I finished watching, I was talking to Kirsti about something completely unrelated and went, “OMG. WAIT. IS CORDELIA PREGNANT WITH CONNOR’S BABY… OR THE BEAST’S?” I asked her to spoil me, but you’ll be glad to know she wouldn’t.

Also: EW.

Sweeney: I hadn’t even allowed my brain to entertain that horrifying alternative, so thanks for that.

K: Hey. If I had to suffer through this crap unspoiled, then you do too. As for this episode, the return of Faith is probably likely to outweigh all other things when it comes to the rankings at the end of the season. Because FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAITH!!!! I love her breaking out of jail, I love that little Watcher/Slayer moment between her and Wes, I love her walking in and taking charge, I love her putting Connor in his place. Angelus killing the Beast was hella contrivance-y – I get that he doesn’t want to be a flunky but why would he do what the good guys are trying to do??? – and the pregnancy reveal was a giant barrel of nope. But still: FAAAAAAAAAAAITH!!!!!!!!!!! 

Sweeney: In spite of my hatred of all the moments Cordelia was on the screen, this was definitely a high point in the season. Fred and Gunn didn’t annoy me in their brief appearances, Connor finally got put in his place, Lilah was an awesome ghost, and this was definitely Wesley’s best episode all season. Possibly his best episode since Connor entered the picture. But mostly, this episode was great because FAITH. Obviously.

Next time: Angelus is still on the lose and our BFF Faith isn’t doing so well. Find out if Faith gets the better of him on Angel S04 E14 – Release.