Previously: Art & co. found Katja’s body, but Sarah deleted the fingerprint match. She decided not to steal Alison’s money and kidnap her child.
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Effects of External Conditions
Sweeney: Crazy Clone is in a bathroom somewhere, bandaging the wounds from Sarah stabbing her. There’s a lot of blood and close-ups to give you that extra crazy vibe as Crazy Clone repeats, “I’m not Beth,” over and over.
A child comes downstairs and steps in the trail of Crazy Clone’s blood. SO UNHYGENIC. He opens the bathroom door because he’s a stupid child and doesn’t yet know to run far far away from the trail of blood. Crazy Clone motions to be quiet and ushers him into the bathroom with her.
Alison’s House. Sarah knocks on Alison’s back door. In the basement Alison’s freaking out, having just heard that its one of their own that’s killing them off. She’s concerned that Sarah just brought Crazy Clone to her, but Sarah insists that having been impaled with rebar is giving Crazy Clone enough other shit to worry about for a minute or two.
Sarah hands over the paper bag of cash, confessing that she thought about running with it but she knows she can’t do it because like Alison she also has a family to protect. She’s supposed to see her daughter today, but this whole Crazy-Clone-is-trying-to-murder-me thing is kind of upsetting that plan. Alison’s interest is piqued by this child revelation, specifically the fact that Kira is Sarah’s biological child and not adopted like hers. She folds clothes to steady herself and after sassing Sarah some more she finally sighs and asks how she can help. For now Sarah just wants her to be available because she might need her somehow.
Lorraine: Oh, that sounds like the introduction to a major favor. In real life, if someone asks you for a favor and then follows that up with a, “you know. Just be available,” probably say hell no and run away.
Sweeney: More life saving advice, Traumateers.
Felix’s Frisky Flat. Sarah video chatting with Cosima who dug up information on what the symbols on Crazy Clone’s knife mean. Felix overhears and asks what the fuck she’s talking about but Sarah tells him to shut up because Cosima’s “just weird.” They decide they need more information and the only way Sarah can get that is to keep being Beth. Felix tries to shoot that idea down, reminding her that this recently nearly got her killed. In spite of that, Sarah still figures she’s safer with the police, what with Insert Town Name Here’s police department appearing uncommonly competent. They get into a nature vs nurture tangent, and Felix runs down the list of known clones and figures that while this decision is insane, his crazy sister is sane by comparison.
As Sarah says that she’s got Alison on standby we segue magic over to her. It’s frantic morning craziness and Alison’s husband observes that she’s sending the kids to the grandparents on a school morning and then gets annoyed that she doesn’t give him an answer. “Well, you didn’t pose it as a question.” Learn to use your words properly Donnie. (Alison names him Donnie during this conversation.) Alison gives him bags for the kids and shoos him off, shutting him by saying that she’ll see him when he comes crashing in at 3am. Once he’s gone she sits down at the table and pulls out her gun.
Lor: I giggled so much. Alison even overachieves at being on stand-by.
Sweeney: I hadn’t looked at it that way, but you’re absolutely right. Adorable character moment is adorable.
Actual Crime Scene For Actual Cops. Art expresses the thanks of his family to Beth!Sarah for saving his life, but says that’s all them, not him. They’ve got good news: the killer made a pit stop. Questionably good news. Kind of depends who you are. They go inside and its the same house where we started the episode with Crazy Clone. In the bathroom, they see the big mess Crazy Clone made with her self-surgery.
Lor: Yeah, this bathroom looks so much less nefarious in the daytime. WTF was the lighting in there before? Green light bulbs? Does Crazy Clone carry around her own murder lighting? IDK.
Sweeney: That’s some major dedication to Crazy Clone status, though! Carry around the proper lighting setup. Put some shadow under your eyes to get that sallow look just right. Really sell it.
Sarah tries to have Art talk to the witness solo but he’s not having that. Sarah manages to stand by a little and overhears the mom saying that she saw nothing but that her son said it was “an Angry Angel.” Art asks what this person looked like and the boy points to Sarah, lurking around the corner. Art asks if it’s possible that the killer was a woman and Sarah just shrugs. Sarah asks to talk to him.
Sarah whispers to him that she’s not her. The boy says that Crazy Clone said she would come and then asks her to pick a number on one of those little paper fortune tellers. It’s covered in blood so Sarah asks if they can keep it. Art takes it and has it bagged as evidence. The mom hugs her poor, traumatized child.
Outside, Sarah calls Mrs. S about their meeting that night. She’s trying to feel out rescheduling options, but Mrs. S is firm on this being the only night and time. Mrs. S vows that if Sarah lets Kira down, she won’t let Sarah see Kira again. Sarah grumpily insists that she’ll be there. We pan over to see Kira painting a picture of Sarah.
Lor: The blood red paint she’s using for the smile is dripping down across the picture. Kids are so fucking creepy.
Sweeney: Police Station. They made copies of the fortune teller for everyone. Fun game to play at work! You too can have your fortune told as written by a murderer! (L: I’ll propose this at my next staff meeting!) They’re going over all the evidence they now have, from the fact that the killer is female to the actual bullet wound in the skull, which tips them off about the gun itself. Female snipers are a rarity, so they get into some profiling about isolation and Crazy Clone’s religious fanaticism. There’s also the blood, but they’re a week away from knowing if it matches anyone. As DeAngelis is explaining how the fortune tellers work, another cop enternounces that Beth!Sarah has a call.
At Beth’s desk, she takes the call and it’s Crazy Clone, reminding her that she’s not Beth. Sarah asks why she didn’t just up and kill her then. “You didn’t feel it?” asks Crazy Clone. She didn’t, but Crazy Clone says that they have a connection and she needs to know who she is. Crazy Clone names herself Helena and reminds Sarah that shit’s going to get crazy for her if the cops find Helena, so they should really just meet and discuss options. Helena says she’s already given her all the information.
Art comes by and Sarah quickly hangs up the phone. They’ve realized that the numbers all addresses, mostly ones they’ve been to, save for an address known to have a lot of squatters. They’re all ready to head off, but the bossman says they have to wait for tactical to sweep the area due to the probable sniper situation.
Outside, Sarah tries to run off to her car, but Art insists that they have to stick together after last night. Once they drive off, we see someone emerge from behind a tree and enter the building. Inside we see that it’s Helena, wearing a large beanie to cover her hair. She walks around awkwardly and has those dark circles under her eyes. She eyes the evidence board, smiling appreciatively at her work. Because crazy.
Lor: Raj the tech guy asks her, “rough night?” and Helena gives him the appropriate stare down. Probably not for any sane reasons, but I appreciate it anyway because comments that basically insinuate you look awful are the WORST.
Probable Sniper Situation. The area’s been swept and the team heads in, down to a terrifying basement. They find another space as creeperific as the Crazy Clone’s previous hideout, only worse because basement. She appears to have done some more self-surgery there and also drew creepy stick figures all over the walls, including one whose head is a blood-drawn question mark. Art asks if this is meant to be the killer or the next victim, but Sarah’s damn sure it’s the next victim.
Police Station. Helena is creeping about, pretending to be Beth, eating her food and shit. I guess I shouldn’t be too defensive, given that this is what Sarah’s been doing for a while now. But Helena looks a hot mess even after her attempts at cleaning up. Helena looks at the picture of Beth and Paul on the desk. The phone rings and it’s Paul. Helena tells him that she’s having a bad day and asks him to please come get her out of there before hanging up on him.
Murder Basement. Art says that the killer wanted them to see this creepertastic scene. Beth!Sarah tries to brush it off as a wild goose chase, but the team is preparing to be there for a long night. That’s Sarah’s cue to make a phone call.
Felix is in his apartment painting Cosima, wondering if Cosima’s tits are bigger. Sarah explains that she’s got this all-night work situation and, more importantly, Helena on her tail and she doesn’t want to lead Crazy Clone to Kira, because Sarah’s trying to put the parent back into parenting. (L: Not getting your child murdered is a good place to start.) She’s between a rock and a hard place but she has one crazy idea: if anyone can be in two places at once it’s her. Felix is so horrified by this idea, it’s time for him to get a butt shot, as he’s only wearing a smock. We haven’t really had need for a butt count since the pilot! You can’t just deliver all those butts in your pilot and not follow up. You hook your audience on a lie!
Sweeney: Alison’s House. She’s pouring herself a glass of wine, still sitting at her table with her gun and her little pink phone. There’s a knock at her back door and it’s Felix, come to ask Alison for help with Kira.
Police Station. Beth!Sarah runs into Raj who comments on how much better she looks, which confuses her. She follows Art into the conference room where the evidence photos has been rearranged into a creepy pasted together Barbie doll image.
After a Not Break, Beth!Sarah sits down at her desk and finds that a photo of Maggie Chen has been placed over the picture of Beth and Paul. She removes the picture to see Paul’s eyes whited out on the other photo, which she quickly turns face down. She gets out the file she has on Maggie Chen to look at the pictures some more.
Alison’s House. Alison is 100% not into this plan because it screams terrible parenting. Taken out of context, phoning in your first meeting with your kid in nearly a year is definitely some competition grade negligent parenting. Alison thinks that if Sarah’s making requests like this, then maybe Kira’s better off with Mrs. S. At that, Felix throws down. “Excuse me? Sarah is out there, risking her life, playing cat and mouse with Killer Clone so that your kids don’t end up orphans and you think that she should lose her child for that?” Alison takes that slice of humble pie in silence before saying that she was just in Steel Magnolias, so she’s probably totally ready for this moment. Alison dismisses Felix’s doubting (You’re asking for a favor, Felix! Play nice!) insisting that she got great reviews. She loosens up and switches her stance, slouching heavily and sitting with her legs spread very wide. It is very Sarah-esque, albeit very exagerated. She starts prepping the accent: “The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.” With that, Felix is ready to go into rehearsal mode.
Lor: Thank you for that update, DeAngelis.
Sweeney: Alison’s House. Felix is rummaging through her clothes desperately looking for something that could pass as a Sarah outfit while coaching Alison on her accent. He adds that she’ll really have to play up the dreary history with Mrs. S and starts cutting up a shirt. Alison freaks, and he tells her she’s a punk and needs to be one. Her “Oi!” is precious.
Lor: I took Felix’s sudden stop to mean he was fairly surprised and impressed. I was.
Sweeney: Police Station. Sarah is still trying to connect the dots between Maggie Chen and Helena when she gets a visitor. Paul is there to collect her, as requested. Beth!Sarah insists that she’s fine, but Paul says she didn’t sound fine and doesn’t look it either. He practically drags her out but is interrupted by Art. Paul gets in Art’s face, bitching and moaning that she got beat up on her first day up and it’s no wonder she wants to leave. Shit, Paul. Shut your fucking mouth. This is her job. Sarah cuts in and promises Art she’ll handle this.
Outside, she says she was just upset and didn’t literally mean for him to come get her right that second. Paul is still confused, adding that she’s like a completely different person these days. Ha. He says that they need to spend some time together to figure out what’s suddenly going on because he mostly likes it. Sarah kisses him, rather than, you know, trying to sever ties and pull away from this person very likely to figure your shit out.
Lor: Probably because of the pretty.
Sweeney: He is very pretty. This is true.
As soon as Paul walks off, Sarah’s pink phone rings and it’s Cosima. Sarah tells Cosima that she’s terrified that Helena’s going to get her Beth-cover busted if she doesn’t meet with her soon. On the bright side, Cosima’s got some translations on the symbol-adorned psycho knife. On the knife is basically means that it’s a personal crusade. Seeing the symbol on Maggie Chen makes her think that maybe there’s some kind of evangelical thing going on there, because to a fanatic, they could be seen as abominations. She speculates that with Helena’s brand of crazy, maybe someone she trusted told her that this was the way to redeem herself.
Inside, Art confronts Sarah about the little scene Paul just made. She says the bit about her wanting to leave was nothing and adds that she’s appropriately embarrassed by her boyfriend stomping around playing dad in her place of employment. Art reminds her that she said they were calling it quits (which would be the smart thing to do) and she says they’re trying to work things out now. Art wants to get back to business, asking if maybe there’s something the killer said. Sarah says that if the killer had said anything she would have known she was a woman. Art excuses himself to go do more detective things.
Lor: I dislike Art being all, “don’t bring that stuff in here!” and then following it up with, “hey so tell me more about you guys supposedly breaking up.” NO ART. STOP IT.
Sweeney: Once again, the second someone leaves, Sarah gets another phone call. This time it’s Helena, adding that things must be getting very uncomfortable for her there. Helena says that none of this is about revenge; it’s about her, specifically. Helena pushes some buttons on her phone and then tells Sarah that she has her invitation and then hangs up. As she does, Sarah gets a new email. It’s a video of Helena playing Beth and confessing to the murder of Margaret Chen, saying she did it on purpose. Moments like this are where Maslany shines. We get the character with the most out there accent and physicality, trying to portray another clone and it’s incredible. It’s got the true feel of an impersonation and I love it. (L: +1)
Sarah doesn’t love it, though, being that this video just went off while she was at work and she hurriedly closes it. Below the video Helena included an address.
Mrs. S’s Hosue. Felix and Alison are in a cab outside the house, doing last minute details, like the fact that Sarah doesn’t smoke. On their walk to the door he’s correcting her posture and she hits him in the stomach, telling him to shut up. Mrs. S answers the door and Alison’s ever so slightly over doing it – she’s got this weird lean going on – but she follows Felix’s advice and skips the pleasantries and cuts straight to asking if she can see her daughter. Mrs. S steps aside and gestures to the door. Felix is impressed, and Mrs. S asks what he’s gaping at.
Lor: Again here with the excellence Maslany’s obvious impersonation.
Sweeney: Actual Sarah is in her car, headed for Helena.
Conference Room. Art asks DeAngelis about fighting women, how they fight differently and how it doesn’t really fly that Beth!Sarah didn’t know that she had fought a woman. DeAngelis agrees, but thinks it might just be that she’s still not over the shooting and came back too soon. DeAngelis asks where Beth even is and he sees that she’s not at her desk.
We get a shot of Sarah punching numbers outside an apartment building getting buzzed in.
Back at the station, Art is sitting at Beth’s desk. DeAngelis thinks that maybe Beth’s just working shit out with Paul, but Art’s not buying that. He notices that the thing she wrote on the former top sheet over her notepad left an indentation and he can read the address. He flips open Maggie Chen’s file – which he found while snooping – and sees that it’s her address. He rushes off, telling DeAngelis she’ll know what’s up when he does. That’s not quite true, if you’re not letting her go. There’s an inherent delay there.
Another quick shot of Sarah, on her way up to the apartment.
Mrs. S’s House. Kira comes down and presents her painting of Sarah to Alison. She’s silent, and Felix gets Mrs. S to go with him into the kitchen. Alison asks Kira for a hug, but she doesn’t. Alison quickly apologizes for not seeing her in a long time, but promises that they’ll see each other all the time now. Finally, Kira speaks: “You’re not my mother.” Alison makes a, “Well, shit” face.
Lor: Me too, Alison. Me too.
Sweeney: We cut back and forth between Sarah walking up the stairs at the We Hate Clone Club Apartment Complex and Alison, asking Kira who else she could possibly be. Kira says this lady just looks like her mom. Kira asks what Sarah calls her. Alison knows “monkey” but not another name, so Kira asks where her mother actually is.
Back at Mrs. S’s, Alison’s trying to explain that Sarah couldn’t be there. She says that Sarah is out doing something very brave in order to allow them to be together, all said as we see a terrified Sarah make her way to the apartment.
She goes in and kicks the door closed behind her. Helena is standing there with her arms up, and says that she is unarmed. Sarah orders her to turn around and kneel down. She turns, but doesn’t kneel. She tells Sarah that she’s different than the others. Sarah agrees and punches Helena right in the spot where she stabed her, causing Helena to double over in pain. Helena says she thinks she’s dying and Sarah pulls up a chair to watch. Helena asks where Sarah came from but she nonanswers that she came out of the woodwork. Helena says God sent her. With that, Sarah pulls out the psyco knife, and mentions the brand on Maggie Chen’s knife. Helena nods at the mention of Maggie’s name, saying that Maggie helped make Sarah – but then she saw the light and joined the We Hate Clone Club Club. Helena says she can save Sarah and kisses her knee, insisting that she can see a light in Sarah. Helena angrily says something about the others being poor copies of God’s originals and Sarah realizes that Helena was told she was the original.
With that, Art buzzes from downstairs. Sarah’s panicking now, trying to convince Helena that it’s all a lie, that she’s just like all the women she’s killed. Helena stands up and presses her hands to Sarah’s, with the gun touching her temple. Helena asks if Sarah can feel what she feels. Meanwhile, Art is calling out to Beth from the hall, knocking on the door.
After a Not Break, the knocking persists and Sarah’s terrified. She decides to tell Helena to run, urging her out the window. You give your obsessed stalker an inch and they’ll take a mile, girl. Helena gets gone just in time. Art bursts in, asking why the hell Beth!Sarah’s there, in the apartment of the woman she killed. When he says that, it seems that Sarah hadn’t put that together before.
Mrs. S’s apartment. Kira is drawing and curious how Alison looks so much like her mom. Alison says it’s very complicated, but the most important thing is that she keeps this a secret. Mrs. S comes over to put Kira to bed and Alison and Kira pinky promise. After Kira goes upstairs, Sarah!Alison awkwardly thanks Mrs. S for taking such good care of Kira, and says she wants to do this again, like tomorrow to walk Kira home from school. Mrs. S agrees. Felix is impressed.
Police Station. Beth!Sarah and Art are sitting down with their boss, who also wants to know why she was in Maggie Chen’s apartment. Beth!Sarah insists that she was just taking a walk and “found herself there.” He wants to know if there is a connection between Maggie Chen and their current homicide case. Beth!Sarah says there isn’t and Art informs us that she’s the one who called that meeting. She says that she came back after the shooting to prove that she could, but she really can’t. She puts her gun on the desk and quits. Art is pissed, demanding to know why she’s bailing. They try to talk her out of it, but she just puts her badge down and walks out.
Elsewhere, Helena is stumbling in an alleway, very not well. A white van spots her and a man wearing a big ring that could definitely belong to creepy evangelical cultist brushes back Helena’s hair before carrying her to the van.
End credits.
THIS SHOW. I’m so excited for the next season to start and we’re not even done blogging this one. There’s not a lot to say about each episode because the big mystery has to come together as a whole BUT I would be remiss if I didn’t pause to say that these are the episodes where the flawlessness of this whole team, from Tatiana Maslany down to everyone else who helps make this show come together. The nuances between all the different parts she played in this episode – four different characters as well as three who alternately were themselves and imitating others. It’s still so incredible to me how distinct they all are.
One of many reasons to adore this crazy show.
Next time: Sarah suspects Paul of being part of the clone thing and then Paul starts to suspect Sarah in Orphan Black S01 E05 – Conditions of Existence.
Nicole is the co-captain of Snark Squad and these days she spends most of her time editing podcasts. She spends too much time on Twitter and very occasionally vlogs and blogs. In her day job she's a producer, editor, director, and sometimes host of educational YouTube channels. She loves travel, maps, panda gifs, and semicolons. Writing biographies stresses her out; she crowd sourced this one years ago and has been using a version of it ever since. She would like to thank Twitter for their help.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
