Previously: The boys investigated a haunted house, and the Snark Ladies loved every second of it. Shirtless Sam probably helped.
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Something Wicked
Sara: Fitchburg, Wisconsin. Exterior: A big beautiful house, with a voiceover of a small child saying Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep, which is super creepy. I will be sure to discourage my child from saying that prayer and also singing creepy children’s songs. Sorry, kid. Mama doesn’t want to accidentally punt you across the room in a moment of fear.
Kirsti: Valid life choice. Especially as the version that I’ve always heard here is the “if I die before I wake/I pray the Lord my soul to take” one. Which, YES, let’s teach small children that they might die in their sleep. That’s a GENIUS plan!! O.o (Vaguely related – I’m going to spend the rest of this episode singing Enter Sandman, because reasons.)
Sara: Inside, a dad tucks the little girl into bed. When she asks if her mom is coming home, he answers that she’s spending the night at the hospital so probably not. This pigtail kid is pretty dang cute.
Later that night, Pigtail Kid is sitting up in bed, looking out the window at the trees clicking against the pane. (Sidebar: When I was a very small child, my grandmother took me to see Mars Attacks in theaters. I did not recognize that this movie was a comedy and had to have my sister sleep in my room with me for WEEKS afterwards because every time I looked out my window, I could swear that I was seeing the martians floating out there, staring at me.) (K: I hear you. I saw Ghostbusters 2 at the movies when I was six and was terrified of fur coats coming to life for months afterwards) She runs to the window, yanks closed the flimsy see-through curtains, and jumps back into bed. But she doesn’t do that flying jump that you do to avoid the grabby monsters UNDER the bed, which I perfected and did up until I was about 18 years old.
As she hides under the covers, she peeks out to see a hand with dangerously long fingernails opening the window and a shadow creeps in. Needs a Manicure pulls down Pigtail Girl’s covers with his creepy hand, and she screams as we cut to Not Credits. I know I say this a lot about the Monsters of the Week, but FUCK THAT GUY and his unkempt nails. Ugh, just imagine the dirt under those things. And I bet he has a hell of a time picking up change off the counter.
K: Or wiping his arse…
Sara: The boys are cruising along talking about the latest coordinates that were sent to them by the script their dad. Sam has checked everything he can along, and hasn’t found anything suspicious in Fitchburg, Wisconsin, but Dean insists that if Papa Winchester sent them these coordinates, they must mean something. Dean argues that since he’s older, it means he’s always right, and as a youngest child of four, I scoff. PSH.
The boys make it into town and when Dean comes back from the cafe with coffee, Sam points out an empty playground and that’s it 4:00 PM which makes them all suspicious about the playground being empty? Is that a valid reason to be suspicious? Maybe the script gave them a heads up on this one, too.
K: Probably.
Sara: Dean approaches the lone mom at the playground to ask her what’s up with the emptiness, and I feel like Sam would have been a better send-in for this, yeah? Not that Dean looks child predatory or anything, but Sam just has that golden retriever look about him that would make me never suspect him of trying to abduct my children. Anyways, the woman weirdly offers up the fact that all the other kids are sick, and she does it literally within two sentences. Nosy lady telling everyone’s bidness to strangers. She tells him that it’s only five or six kids, but the doctors think it’s catching.
Later, the boys are in suits and visiting the hospital in town to get more information. On the way in, Sam complains about having to use an ID that says “Bikini Inspector” on it, and Dean cutely smiles because he’s adorable. Dean tells him not to worry about it, because the front desk nurse probably won’t even ask to see the ID. When Sam approaches and gives his name and job title (Jerry Caplan, Center for Disease Control) (K: I love the bloopers for this scene because Jared Padalecki kept saying his name was Jerry O’Connell without realising), the front desk nurse who is obviously good at her job immediately asks to see some ID. Dean snorts in the background. It is awesome. Sam quickly flips his ID up and puts it away before the nurse can actually see anything. She looks a little suspicious, but since Sam looks like a lovable golden retriever puppy, points him in the direction of the pediatrics wing.
As they make their way down the hall, an elderly blind woman with an inverted cross on her wall turns to stare at Dean. He pauses until Sam urges him to keep up. The boys meet up with the pediatric doctor to discuss the case, and he thanks them for being there because he was just about to call the CDC himself. Huh. Nobody thinks this is weird?
K: Ain’t nobody got time to pick up a phone and fact check in Traumaland!
Sara: He shares his information on the kids: The kids are not responding to antibiotics any more which is troublesome. Their immune systems aren’t working, and it seems like their bodies are giving out on them. The strangest part is that the disease seems to be targeting families, but only the children, one sibling after another. The boys ask to interview the kids, but none of them are conscious. Instead they can talk to the parents, so they start with Pigtail Kid’s dad.
Pigtail Kid’s dad tells the boys that his older daughter came down with pneumonia one night, and Pigtail Kid (PK) caught it 24 hours later. They assume the girls caught it because of an open window. He made sure to close PK’s window before he put her in bed, but it was open when he went in the next morning. He figures she must have opened it, because nobody else could have opened a second story window. The boys side-eye each other because we know that shit happens all the time.
As they walk away, Sam says again that this might not be anything SUPERNATURAL (shots for referencing the show name!), but Dean is sure it is because Papa Winchester always knows what he’s talking about. I have a feeling this unrelenting trust for his dad is going to end up not working out for Dean at some point. They decide to go snoop in PK’s house, since her parents will probably be staying at the hospital with the girls for a while longer.
K: Seriously, though. Parking the car RIGHT OUTSIDE?? Rookie mistake.
Sara: The boys use their EMF devices but neither pick up anything in PK’s room. As Sam checks the window, though, he finds a rotted claw mark on the ledge outside the window. That’s a pretty big thing for parents to miss! Although I guess if your second child has come down with a life threatening illness, maybe the ledge outside her window isn’t VIP in terms of thought processes. Sam wonders what leaves a handprint like that, which sends us into a filtered Dean!Flashback! AWESOME. I love flashbacks, as I’m sure you know from my time on Pretty Little Liars.
Papa Winchester is heading off for a hunt and leaving verbal instructions with Dean on what to do while he’s gone. He tells Dean to call Pastor Jim if he isn’t back by Sunday night, and the most important thing is to watch out for Sammy. If something tries to bust in, Dean’s instructions are to shoot first and ask questions later. Well. That’s dangerous.
K: Not as dangerous as the last time we saw the kid who plays Mini!Dean, which was that time Angel got turned into a puppet.
Sara: Traumaland crossover moments are my favorite moments!
Coming out of the flashback, Dean says that he knows why Papa Winchester sent them there; he’s faced this particular Creature of the Week before and wants the boys to finish the job.
As the boys get to a local motel, Sam asks for more information on what a shtriga is, but Dean doesn’t remember much about it. He just knows that Papa Winchester hunted one sixteen or seventeen years ago but it got away. Sam questions how a Creature got away from their dad, the amazing demon hunter, and Dean snarks that maybe he just didn’t have his Wheaties that morning.
K: Just stopping by to mention that if it was 16 or 17 years ago, then Dean was 9 or 10 and Sam was 5 or 6. And John left them alone in a motel room to fend for themselves for several days. Because he’s the worst fucking parent of EVER.
Sara: Dean goes inside to reserve a room for them, and a seriously adorable flippy-haired boy comes to the desk from where he was watching tv in the back room and asks if they’ll be having a room with one king or two queens. Dean answers that they’ll need two queens, and Flippy Hair snorts and says, “Yeah, I bet.” When Dean asks what he just said, the kid just snarks, “Nice car.” He’s so stinkin’ cute. Like a mini Dean with blonde hair. Flippy Hair’s snark is interrupted when his mother comes in and asks Dean if he’s checking in before sending the kid off to get his brother some dinner. He tries to argue that he’s helping a guest but his mom just gives him one of those patented Mom Looks to send him away. As he walks to the back room again, he double entendres, “Two queens,” because he is hilarious.
As Dean pays for the hotel room, he watches Flippy Hair pour his little brother some milk and goes into another Dean!Flashback. Mini Dean pours Mini Sam some milk with his dinner, as Sam asks when their dad will be home. He tells Sam that their dad will be home tomorrow, as he pours some Spaghettios in a bowl for him.
K: Mini Dean also says that John “usually” gets back late, implying that leaving his very small children alone in a motel room for several days is a regular occurrence. Fuck that guy.
Sara: Sam complains that he doesn’t want Spaghettios, he wants Lucky Charms. Dean tries to play it off like they don’t have any, but finally answers that there’s only enough for one bowl left, and he hasn’t had any yet. Sam does his sad puppy face, and Dean sighs, scrapes the Spaghettios into the trash can (WHOA, wasteful), and pours him the last bowl of cereal. Dude, my siblings would all have laughed in my face if I’d tried that sad puppy face on them. He slams the cereal box down in front of Mini Sam, and Sam offers him the prize from the box. D’aw.
Out of the Dean!Flashback and into the motel room, Sam has pulled up some info on the shtriga. It feeds off of the breath of life. They can feed off anyone, but they prefer children because kids have a stronger life force, whatever that means. They are invulnerable to all weapons made by God and man.
K: They hang out in Albania, kill small children, and are invulnerable to all kinds of shit. Basically? They’re Voldemort.
Sara: Dean corrects that the shtriga is actually vulnerable when feeding, and that’s the only time it can be killed. Sam is all, “Uh, cool, glad to know that you actually have some of those information while I’ve been researching all fucking night,” and Dean just replies that that’s the only thing he knows. Dean is terrible at playing things off.
Sam says that shtrigas typically disguise themselves as creepy old women when they aren’t hunting, so it might be hard to find it. Dean mentions the creepy old blind lady he saw in the hospital earlier in the episode, and Sam says, “An old person, huh? In the hospital? Whew, better call the Coast Guard.” LOL. Dean calls him a smartass and says that she also had an inverted cross hanging on her wall. This makes Sam raise his eyebrows, and they head to the hospital to see.
The boys sneak past the night staff and into the old woman’s room, with guns cocked and ready to go. Dean gets really close to her face, and the lady starts freaking the fuck out because wouldn’t you if you were blind and some dude was breathing all up in your face? (She also scares the shit out of Dean, and it is hilarious.) She asks who’s there and if they’re trying to steal her stuff, but they say they’re just maintenance and thought she was asleep. She tells them to fix the damn crucifix because she’s asked four times already and still nobody has. I guess the maintenance staff is like, “Screw the blind lady, she’ll never know if we did it or not.” Dean flips it over, and the soundtrack of Doofy Mistakes plays.
Sara: I wondered the SAME THING, Kirsti. Her knowing it hadn’t been flipped yet still makes her creepy.
That night at the Motel of the Week, Flippy Hair and his little brother sleep in a room together as the shtriga who desperately needs a manicure comes barging in. Rude.
After the Not Commercial Break, it’s dawn and the boys arrive back at the motel. They see Flippy Hair sitting on a bench outside of the front office, by himself, crying. When Dean asks what’s wrong, Flippy Hair says that his brother is sick and caught the pneumonia all the other kids have. He thinks it’s his fault for not checking to make sure the window was latched before bed. Dean, still having flashback feels, tells the boy that it isn’t his fault, but Flippy Hair doesn’t agree. It’s his job to take care of his little brother and he let him down. Man, I really pegged it when I called him a mini Dean with blonde hair earlier, huh?
Flippy Hair’s mom comes out and tells him to stay at the motel and keep an eye on things while she’s at the hospital. He tells her that he wants to go with her, but she says no. That seems incredibly fucked up. She’s just going to leave him at the motel by himself while she and his unconscious little brother are at the hospital? This lady should hook up with Papa Winchester. (K: No kidding.) Dean kindly tells Flippy Hair to give his mom a break and offers to drive her to the hospital since she isn’t in any state to be driving.
At the library, Sam finds records of the shtriga hitting all sorts of other cities, every fifteen to twenty years. The killings usually last for months, and dozens of kids end up dying because of it. The earliest record he can find of it is from the 1890s in Black River Falls. While on the phone with Dean, he discovers an article with a picture of the doctor they spoke with at the beginning of the episode, which wouldn’t be weird except that the photo is from 1893. So either he’s immortal or his family has VERY strong genes.
K: I stop to get a little stabby because I did my Honours thesis on historic newspapers and for the most part? THEY DIDN’T HAVE PICTURES. There were specific illustrated papers that came out on a weekly basis with a mixture of engravings and photographs, but for the most part, pictures in newspapers weren’t common until the First World War. Especially not a picture as big as that, right on the front page. Because the front page was generally reserved for classified advertisements through until the Great Depression. Good Lord, people. It would have taken like thirty seconds of research… </nerd rant>.
But also, the list of towns where the shtriga attacked? The same towns that got the monorail before Springfield in The Simpsons. Yup. They did that. And it’s awesome.
Sara: Dean hangs up, and turns around to watch the doctor reassure Flippy Hair’s mom before coming over and asking if the CDC has figured anything out. Dean tells him that the minute they know something, he’ll know. The doctor responds that nothing is more important to him than the kids, and Dean works his jaw.
Back at the motel, Sam and Dean talk about what a good idea the shtriga had, posing as the doctor. Sam is surprised that Dean didn’t open fire on him right there at the hospital, but Dean says it wouldn’t have hurt him anyways since the creature can’t be killed unless it’s feeding. Since it goes after siblings, and Flippy Hair’s brother just got got, Dean thinks they should use the kid to lure the shtriga in and kill it. Sam is totally against using Flippy Hair as bait, but Dean says that this is his fault and he needs to fix it. Sam WTFs about what Dean is talking about, and Dean says that these kids wouldn’t be getting hurt right now if it wasn’t for him. Sam pushes him to tell him what he’s been hiding all episode long, and Dean flashbacks again.
In the Dean!Flashback, Papa Winchester still hasn’t made it back to the motel, and Mini Dean is tired of sitting around the motel, so he leaves Mini Sam sleeping in bed, locks the door behind him, and heads to the arcade for some stress relief. When he comes back a little while later, he sees a light on in the bedroom and hears some whispery spirity sounds. He slowly pushes the door open and sees the creepy shtriga feeding on Mini Sam. He calmly picks up the salt gun, aims it at the shtriga, and is about to shoot when Papa Winchester conveniently comes busting in the door and yells at Mini Dean to get out of the way before opening fire on the creature.
The shtriga leaves out the window, unharmed, and Papa Winchester runs to hold Mini Sam. He asks Dean what happened, and when he confesses that he went to the arcade for a minute, Papa Winchester yells that he told him not to leave the room. Dude, what a dick. Also, is that always how this guy enters a room? Busting in doors and holding up a gun? That would be some serious childhood trauma.
K: You know, along with the part where YOUR FATHER USED YOU AS BAIT FOR A LIFE-SUCKING MONSTER AND THEN BLAMES YOU WHEN THE MONSTER ATTACKS. You want to know why I hate John Winchester? This episode is why.
Sara: Huh. I figured the shtriga attack was just an accident and not an actual bait situation.
Back in the present, Dean tells Sam that Papa Winchester always looked at him differently after that, and he didn’t blame him because he almost got Mini Sam killed since he didn’t follow orders properly. BROTHER FEELS.
Sam says maybe one of them should pretend to be Flippy Hair (preferably Sam because he already has the Flippy Hair part down), but Dean says that the shtriga will know and they don’t have any other option.
The boys visit Flippy Hair and tell him that they know what happened to his brother. Dean says that the shtriga attacked his brother once, too, and they need his help to stop it. Flippy Hair is smartly like, “LOL, NO,” which is hilarious. But after they get back to their motel room, the kid comes knocking and asks if his brother will get better if they kill the creature. Dean says that he doesn’t know. Flippy Hair asks if he would always take care of his little brother and do anything for him, and Dean says yes. IT’S SO CUTE. ALL THE BROTHER FEELS. Flippy Hair agrees to help.
K: SO MANY SIBLING FEELS. And, you know, a side of “I’m not sure I’d agree to that, even for my little brother…”
Sara: Oh hell no. Sorry, siblings, but I know that all three of mine would do the same shit to me.
After the Not Commercial Break, Dean is setting up a night vision camera in Flippy Hair’s room and reassuring him that he’ll be fine. The brothers will enter when the shtriga comes in, and Flippy Hair is to roll off and under the bed to avoid gunfire. Dean double checks that the kid is okay with the plan, and Flippy Hair is still down as long as he doesn’t get shot. Dean promises him they’ll take care of him.
As the boys watch the camera in the next room, Sam apologizes to Dean for all the crap he’s given him about following their dad’s orders. He says he understands why he does it now, and Dean pulls the typical, “Psh, I don’t have feelings,” response. We see right through you and your beautiful face, Dean.
The shtriga enters the room and creeps over to Flippy Hair as the boys watch.
K: Why do none of these houses have properly locking windows?? Ain’t no shtriga getting into my second floor window unless it can silently get through metal flywire and remove nails, yo.
Sara: Right as he starts feeding off of Flippy Hair, the brothers kick the door in and light that bitch up with iron rounds. It lays on the ground next to the bed, unmoving, and the boys stand over it with guns still raised. It really never hurts to put a shit ton more bullets in a body, but nobody on this show ever listens to me.
My advice is proven right as the shtriga is in front of Dean and holding him up by the throat in a flash. He slams him against a wall and then starts choking Sam. Sam tries to reach for his gun, but it’s too far away. The shtriga starts sucking his soul out, and HEY KID: this is probably a good time for you to learn how to fire a weapon! Luckily, Dean gets up just in time to shoot the shtriga right in the face. It falls back, and Dean shoots him a few more times because he’s FINALLY taking my advice.
K: I get a lot of feels again when Dean says “Okay, little brother?” and Sam gives a “HOLY SHIT I NEARLY DIED BUT SURE” thumbs up in response.
Sara: The next morning, the boys are packing up their things and Flippy Hair’s mom is back. She tells him that his brother is going to be fine, as are all the other kids. They ask what Dr. Shrtiga said, but he wasn’t in today so she figures he must have been sick or something. The hospital is going to be so confused when their head pediatric doctor doesn’t show up to work ever again… Flippy Hair and his mom head off to the hospital.
As they leave, Sam says that he feels bad for Flippy Hair because now he’ll always know there are things out there in the dark to be afraid of. Sometimes Sam wishes he could have the innocence back. Dean replies, “If it means anything, sometimes I wish you could, too.” D’AW. YOU GUYS. I love these two.
K: I feel the need to add something in about how much I love the casting for Mini!Dean and Mini!Sam. It’s utter perfection, right down to Dean’s freckles. But mostly? FUCK PAPA WINCHESTER.
Next time: A creepy antique portrait is killing people in S01 E19 – Provenance.
I'm a 30-something with three kids who spends an embarrassing amount of time watching teen television dramas. There's a whole lot of Internet out there, and I plan on reading all of it before I die.
I'm a 30-something librarian and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. Leader of Team Heartless Cow. I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and read more than is good for me.
