Previously: Summer kisses Seth and Caleb Nichol’s girlfriend kisses Ryan.
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The Escape
Lorraine: Sweeney originally called dibs on this episode, but she’s still having grand adventures in Europe, so I told her I’d trade her. (S: And I let go only because I had to because this is an iconic moment in OC history, guys.) Explanation as to why we’re taking a guest posting break and you’re stuck with me over, let’s get to the episode:
Seth practically chases Ryan into the kitchen, trying to convince him that some plan he’s come up with is foolproof, since he goes to a comic book convention every year around this time and his parents trust him. Ryan asks if he’s really going to throw that trust away for Summer in a wet t-shirt doing body shots and Seth at first doesn’t even realize that’s an actual question because yes, of course. Everyone goes to Tijuana the weekend before school starts so they must also.
Lor: Ryan isn’t sure about lying to the Cohens, so Seth says he’ll lie to the parentals. Seth insists that they probably won’t even see Marissa, but Ryan says that’s not even the issue. His hurt-puppy-shade-of-brood (which looks incredibly like his Monday-Sunday shade of brood…) says otherwise, however.
Sandy “Parenting is Cool” Cohen enters and asks if the boys are excited about Comic-Con, as he knows it’s the highlight of Seth’s year. Seth quickly changes the subject and notes that Sandy is all dressed up. He has an interview at a private law firm. Kirsten, wearing her hair in a very Rachel-from-Friends-esque manner, enters as well and says he’ll never take the job. Sandy says he’s just going for the free meal. Kirsten says that after 15 years as a public defender there’s no way he’s selling out (see where this is going yet?). (S: There’s no way this weird conversation about parental employment on a predominantly teenage-centric show is foreshadowing of any kind! See, I can play too!)
Sandy circles back around and asks the boys how soon they will be leaving on their trip and Seth gives a not at all stealth, “I DON’T KNOW, RYAN. WHEN ARE WE LEAVING?” Ryan says, “tomorrow,” and again, Seth barrels past subtlety as he asks, “don’t you mean mañana?”
CALIFORNIA HERE WE COME.
After the credits, Seth comes into the Cool House with a big sombrero, a book with key Spanish phrases and a 12 page itinerary for their 2 day trip. Seth says Ryan’s gonna need activities to get over Marissa, but he swears he’s totally fine. We Segue Magic to Marissa telling Summer it would’ve never worked between them. Summer says that’s obvious on account of the brood. “It’s too hot to save anyone.” Preach, girl. As a girl who lives in a humid, subtropical climate, I find that it is often too hot to do a lot of things.
Talk turns to Marissa and Luke having sex. Summer tells her it’s fine if it was awkward and hurt a little. It gets better the second time. Marissa admits she’s going to Luke’s place later and Summer tells her to get back on the horse and gives us a little “ride ’em cowboy” shimmy to boot.
Sweeney: I imagine that this is around the time the writers were all, “Hey, we’re going to keep this Summer character around. Maybe we should make her likable!” They’re succeeding. Also, I never, ever thought that our OC rewatch would give me reason to say this but: This conversation was interesting to watch with future knowledge.
Lor: Downstairs, Jimmy Cooper’s shitty life is not improving. He’s meant to move out but his apartment isn’t ready yet. Summer and Marissa come into the study, and right away Marissa can tell her father is all over the place. She was planning on going over to Luke’s but offers to stick around if her father wants. He stutters uncomfortably but tells her to go ahead to Luke’s.
Jimmy heads next door to the Cohens to ask for another favor. Kirsten and I don’t get why he didn’t ask from the get-go, because she is all over helping him, forever and always. She asks how his daughters took the news that he was moving out, but he didn’t actually tell. The plan is to have everyone come home on Monday and for Jimmy’s stuff to be gone. Sandy Cohen is not even in this scene, but somewhere, his eyebrows are judging your parenting, dude.
Luke and Marissa are making out and in between kisses, he says Tijuana is going to be so romantic. Marissa is not so sure about going to “TJ” because she’s pretty sure her dad is having a breakdown. Luke’s kind of upset she’s thinking about her dad while they are making out, because that’s strictly some Fifty Shades kind of shit. She won’t come off it though and he gives up on the sexytimes, saying he has to meet his bros anyway.
Restaurant. I know they already named it, but Lion’s jokes about it being an unnamed restaurant with just a crab on the t-shirt were my favorite. I choose to believe that it’s the Artist Formerly Known as Prince of restaurants. Anyway, Ryan is working, Seth is at the bar and Summer is with a bunch of her friends, not paying any attention to him. Seth tells Ryan she’s clearly playing him hot and cold, pretending their kiss didn’t happen. Ryan points out that nobody saw the alleged kiss. Seth says he’ll just have to make magic happen again.
Luke and Marissa arrive. Ryan greets Marissa since they haven’t seen each other in a while. Marissa snaps that the last time they saw each other, he had his hands full. Of Grandma Boobs, if you’ll recall. Summer calls Marissa to the table and she’s all too happy to leave Ryan.
At the table, Holly, who is also fond of kissing Luke while he’s dating Marissa, awkwardly greets Marissa.
Sandy is greeted in a waiting area by a woman named Rachel. They both both lean in for a hug, but they lean into the same side. Ruh-roh! YOU LEAVE SANDY ALONE, HUSSY. I’m probably jumping the gun. (S: WHATEVER. YOU STILL TELL HER ANYWAY, LOR.) Sandy takes shots at working for “the man,” but Rachel’s okay with it for the decent hours and appropriate compensation. Sandy’s gotten the attention of The Man Law Firm with the Jimmy Cooper case. Sandy insists he didn’t do anything, but Rachel lists his accomplishments which include negotiating a restitution deal and calling in a high-powered securities attorney in the span of a weekend. No one was going to touch Jimmy Cooper’s case, and the fact that Sandy did made The Man think The Eyebrows were ready to come off their high horse. Hence, the job pitch.
. Seth is eavesdropping as Marissa says she isn’t going to TJ, leaving Summer without a ride. Hiding behind an aquarium (genius) Holly is trying to convince Luke that what happens in Mexico stays in Mexico. Luke says he’s back with Marissa but Holly gives that a week. Luke collects Marissa and they leave. Seth waits 0.5 seconds before offering Summer a ride.
The next day, Sandy “I Care About My Children” Cohen is asking the boys about extra batteries and air in the tires and gas in the tank. Summer is already outside. Sandy introduces himself and says he had no idea she liked comic books. She gives her signature, “ew” so Seth covers that she goes for the anime.
Sweeney: LOL. It’s only moderately creepy. Adults in my family talked about the attractiveness of guys principally to mortify me on occasion, so I’m counting that as more of a goofy dad comment than a pervy old man comment.
Lor: I always still flinch, I guess because I’m ruined. I’m glad The Eyebrows are safe.
At the Cooper’s, Summer is trying to convince Marissa to come along. Jimmy hears them and asks why they aren’t gone yet. Marissa wants to spend time with him this weekend, but Jimmy says that isn’t possible. When Marissa tries to insist he gruffly says he can’t take care of them both. She gets the hint. Jimmy looks sad.
Sweeney: He can’t take care of them both except for the part where that’s actually his job as her father.
Lor: We have a tag for that!
Marissa apparently doesn’t realize that the Range Rover parked outside of the Cohen’s means that Seth and Ryan are going. When she sees Ryan in the back seat, she is less than thrilled. Summer is excited enough for 2-3 people.
Kirsten is helping Jimmy paint his new apartment, like lowly poor people who don’t have enough money to hire someone do. He reminds her of the time they painted his dorm room, but she says that was the size of a prison cell. Kirsten, WTF. Ix nay on the reminding him he’s practically a felon-ay. Jimmy jokes that they could soon be painting a cell, but Kirsten doesn’t find it funny. Anyway, Kirsten advises Jimmy to call Marissa and tell her he’s moving out.
Road trip. Summer and Seth are bickering about his slow driving.
Sweeney: Summer, grabbing the steering wheel from the driver is a surefire way to undo the good will you were building earlier.
Lor: Cut to them arriving at a gross motel room because it was the only one open between here and plot. Summer keeps complaining and Marissa tries to get them to be positive. Summer is positive she’s leaving the motel with a rash and Seth snarks that she’s planning on making some extra money that night. Summer clomps away. She’s always clomping because they always put itty bitty Rachel Bilson in heels.
Sweeney: Big, chunky heels that weigh about half as much as she does, no less!
Lor: Sandy gets home and notices the paint all over Kirsten. She shares about helping Jimmy paint and asks if that’s okay that she’s helping him. Sandy guesses so, since Jimmy’s life is so shitty and everything. Sandy sees a brand new surf board on the kitchen table and gives an adorable, “hooo-ney!” But it isn’t from Kirsten, it’s from that hussy Rachel.
Kirsten assumes Sandy turned down the job, but they offered him an outrageous salary. Kirsten says their family has all the money they need, but of course, it’s her money. This is Sandy’s opportunity to contribute. Kirsten says the PD office is Sandy’s life and she doesn’t want him to give that up so that he can buy groceries the next week. Sandy puts on his Very Serious Eyebrows and tells her not to belittle this. He thinks balance is important, and they don’t have that because Kirsten has all the money. “You have all the ideals,” Kirsten says and I don’t think that’s as comforting as she means it to be. Sandy considers this and concludes that Kirsten likes having all the money. It makes her different than all of the other women in Newport. “The only thing that keeps you from feeling like Julie Cooper is me.” Kirsten looks like she’s been slapped and having made his point, Sandy leaves.
I remember thinking the parent drama was so boring, and it mostly is, but Sandy’s predicament is intriguing to me now. I know I’ve said this already, but damn. Rewatching this show makes me feel old.
Plot Device Motel. Ryan asks Marissa if she wants cheese sticks or Ding Dongs from the vending machine and she pretends not to care, though everyone should know the correct answer is Ding Dongs. She gets real snappy about snack foods so Ryan asks if she’s ever going to stop being mad at him. She says she isn’t mad, in a very angry way, and asks why she would be mad about walking in on him with another woman. He says he only scammed on a grandma because she was clearly back with Luke. She says she wasn’t then, but is now, so they’ll just get to TJ, split up and never talk again.
Lor: Ryan tells her to go ahead and tell him why she came looking for him, but instead she chooses cheese sticks. Wrong, girl. Wrong.
In the motel, Seth has already claimed his spot on the bed. Summer comes out in a neglige and HEELS! Seth quickly adjusts his insta-awkward boner. I swear that’s what happens. Anyway, he refuses to give up the bed so Summer climbs in next to him, but threatens that if he makes a move, she’ll rip out his jugular.
Marissa and Ryan walk back to the room, but she gets a call from her dad and stays outside to take it. Jimmy tells her about moving out and the divorce. Marissa cries and Ryan hears it all as he sets up the pull out couch. When she gets inside, he offers to sleep on the floor, but she says it’s fine. Ryan apologizes and Marissa cries.
The next morning, Seth and Summer’s bed is empty and Ryan is cuddling with Marissa. I’ve slept next to lots of people and I don’t think I’ve ever ended up accidentally canoodling with anyone…? TV does this a lot though.
Sweeney: This is a favorite move of TV. It’s one thing to move around in your sleep an accidentally end up all up in someone else’s space – this is a thing I am familiar with – but not so much with this perfectly arranged spooning.
Lor: Ryan apologizes and they look at each other real broodily. Marissa excuses herself to the shower. Ryan discreetly checks his morning breath. Probably, especially after those cheese sticks, friend.
At a diner, Summer and Seth have a well choreographed morning routine going. They trade their sections of the newspaper, Seth pushes his toast nearer to her, they sip their coffee at the same time. It’s cute and Seth points out that they have undeniable chemistry. He brings up their kiss (no tongue, says Summer), the fact that she agreed to drive to TJ with him (she needed a ride) and the fact that they shared a bed (the couch was gross).
No, Seth. I’m not entirely sure why you like this girl either.
Sweeney: Eeehhhh, I’m actually going to give this point to her over everyone’s TV boyfriend. Watching him try to negotiate her into being interested in him grossed me out. She’s all, “Not interested,” and his response is basically, “NO, YOU MUST DATE ME BECAUSE I’M A NICE GUY!” which is a trope that sends me into rage blackouts too.
Lor: Super legit. I was being wooed by the Nice Guy and I’m ashamed.
When they get back to the room, Ryan tells them that Jimmy called with bad news. When Marissa exits the shower, Summer right away guesses about the divorce. She hugs her friend and says that they can do whatever Marissa wants, but she probably doesn’t want to be home right now. They can still go to TJ and have one last night of fun. Marissa’s in.
Establishing shots of Tijuana. Summer wants to make a pit stop at a pharmacy to get painkillers for her stepmom. Marissa tells Ryan he doesn’t have to come along, since she is going to find Luke, but he assures her it’s fine.
Back in Newport, Sandy meets with Rachel. He pretends not to be considering the job, but she knows he is.
Jimmy’s apartment. I was going to say something about his shitty life again, but it’s a pretty sweet apartment. This is the first time he’s really going to be a bachelor since he went from Kirsten to Julie. He asks Kirsten if she’s ever thought about what it would be like if they had ended up together. She admits she has and then trips a little into his arms. Jimmy kisses her. Julie pulls away and says she has to go, so Jimmy insta-apologzies but probably only because he got denied.
Club in TJ. Holly pulls Luke onto the dance floor. Marissa, Summer, Seth and Ryan all head to the bar, while Luke and Holly’s dancing turns to kissing. Of course, Marissa sees and confronts them. She calls Holly a bitch. Holly says Luke hooks up with everyone, and everyone knows it. Marissa runs away and Summer pushes Holly. (S: Hey, actual displays of friendship between these two alleged BFFs! Violence not my first choice, but it is the true OC way.) Seth grabs Summer and pulls her off. Luke tries to follow Marissa, but Ryan stops him and then punches him for good measure. That starts a brawl in the club. Seth, Ryan and Summer skedaddle and look for Marissa.
Summer finds Marissa in the hotel room. She wants to call the boys, but Marissa’s too embarrassed to see them. Summer thinks they should go home though, and Marissa cries that she has no one there either. She’s alone. Summer offers to pack their stuff. Alone, Marissa sees the bottle of pain killers in Summer’s purse. In the bathroom, Summer calls Seth and tells them to get back to the hotel room fast. When Summer goes back out to the room, it’s empty.
Summer finds the boys and tells them Marissa and the pills are gone. They go looking for her again, but this time together.
Marissa is in a nearly empty bar, downs a handful of pills with alcohol.
Sandy comes home and finds Kirsten in the kitchen again, this time drinking wine. Sandy tries to pose a hypothetical, “if I took this new job…” thing, but Kirsten know he’s already taken it. They half-heartedly cheers to that and “a new season.”
Marissa is passing out at the bar. She sees some guys in a corner she doesn’t like the look of, so she runs out, tripping all over herself. There is a lot of spinny camera action going on up until she stumbles into an empty alley and passes out. Seth, Summer and Ryan find her there. Ryan tries to wake her up but she doesn’t stir. He grabs her limp body and carries her out of the alley. Summer can barely watch and there are a lot of long pauses on Ryan holding the body, all Savior like. Which is weird.
Sweeney: SO RIDICULOUS. This whole episode is my primary pop culture association with Tijuana. And yet I was surprised that my one attempt to go there turned into a nightmare. This was before I began pretending I professionally watch TV, in naive, younger days when I resisted television’s important lessons like: your life will be a hot fucking mess if you go to Tijuana.
Lor: I’ve got to say, of all the acting Mischa Barton does, I think she does the best at strung out and sweaty. (S: +1)
Next time: Tune in to see how Marissa’s incident will be blamed on Ryan on The OC S01 E08 – The Rescue.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
Nicole is the co-captain of Snark Squad and these days she spends most of her time editing podcasts. She spends too much time on Twitter and very occasionally vlogs and blogs. In her day job she's a producer, editor, director, and sometimes host of educational YouTube channels. She loves travel, maps, panda gifs, and semicolons. Writing biographies stresses her out; she crowd sourced this one years ago and has been using a version of it ever since. She would like to thank Twitter for their help.
