Previously: Summer and Anna faced off for Seth’s attention and even his dad was surprised.
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The Perfect Couple
Ginny: Ryan and Marissa are finally officially together and to show how together they are this episode starts with a make out session in Ryan’s pool house.
Lorraine: I’m really uncomfortable with the heavy breathing Mischa Barton is doing right now. Just, FYI.
Sweeney: SAME.
Ginny: It’s getting late and Marissa needs to go back to her dad’s but Ryan doesn’t want her to go. It’s almost 11 on a school night, my ass would have had to been in bed asleep. Marissa is still not talking to her mom and has the sads. Ryan suggests they actually go on a real first date instead of making out all the time. Good distraction Ryan.
Kirsten walks in on finally officially together make out time and is horribly embarrassed and apologizes for intruding. Apparently Kirsten has forgotten that this is her home and her pool house and she is allowing Ryan to live in her pool house. Also, my mother would murder me if I was alone in my room making out with a boy. I was also pretty lame in high school and never had a boy over, I also never had a pool or a pool house.
Lor: All of the above. My mother would’ve been less embarrassed and more, “HOW THE HELL IS THERE A PERSON ON MY PROPERTY I DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT?” Of course, our house was small, and to “sneak in” a boy, they would’ve had to pass my parent’s bedroom. So.
Ginny: Marissa awkward turtles it out of there and Kirsten says, “this never happened with Seth.”
After walking in on finally officially together make out time Kirsten wants Sandy to talk to Ryan about having sex in the house. This leads to talking about how they don’t have enough sex then they start kissing because apparently everyone is going to make out in this episode. The adult sexual innuendos are a little too corny for me but then again I’m watching the OC.
Ryan walks in the house while Sandy and Kirsten are kissing. Awkward town USA. Ryan apologizes to Kirsten (good boy Ryan) and Seth walks in and is completely confused as to what’s happening. When no one explains Seth says “I’m just here for the comic relief”. Well Seth you sort of are because this show would be too serious between Marissa’s dramatics and Ryan’s emo stares.
Sweeney: Preach. We all thank you for showing up and being that comic relief, Seth.
Lor: It helps that you are adorable.
Ginny: Now it’s time for school where we have a very Grease moment where Ryan talks about kissing Marissa to Seth and Marissa talks about kissing Ryan to Summer. Tell me more tell me more!
Ryan has hooked up with a lot of girls, like a real lot. Like wow Ryan you can barely say two words to people and you have hooked up with all of these girls? Seth is a bit surprised and yea I am too Seth.
Marissa tells summer how different it is with Ryan and how they haven’t slept together yet. Marissa is very excited because Ryan wants to take her out on an actual date! Summer is doubtful that Ryan can take her out on a proper date because they don’t even have a PF Changs in Chino. I find this a very high school thing to say which I like.
Sweeney: But a rich kid high school thing to say! (I also love the moments where they are appropriately HIGH SCHOOL in their behavior/mannerisms.)
Ginny: They all bump into each other and Seth makes a big deal about Ryan’s first date plans. Ryan is looking petrified because now he really has to come up with something good. Petrified Ryan face is my favorite.
Sweeney: It’s one of the few that actually takes on a vaguely distinct appearance from his usual non-stop SUPER BROOD face.
Ginny: I want to clap when he actually has a different facial expression. Like good job, you finally did it!
Lor: Running petrified face score: heights and first dates.
Meanwhile Kirsten visits her father Cal and Julie is there. Kirsten is just a tad suspicious but Julie is quick and talks about the fundraiser she has going on where Cal has volunteered to host it on his yacht. After Julie leaves Kirsten tells her father that Sandy canceled their date night so they can have their working dinner and this leads to Cal automatically thinking he’s cheating. Um Cal, have you met Sandy? He’s not.
Lor: BUT JIMMY DID KISS KIRSTEN. #justsaying
Ginny: I always forget about Jimmy, like that he’s even on the show.
Back at school Anna, Ryan and Seth are eating lunch on a terrace. Are high schools in California really like this? I mean I would love to have eaten my lunch on a lovely terrace.
Sweeney: Only fancy rich kid high schools.
Ginny: Ryan is all worried about his date because he has no car and no money. Seth uses this as an opportunity to talk about Summer because he can’t stop talking about Summer. Ryan says he has no experience with dating because he just hooks up with girls. Classy.
Poor Anna is trying to talk to Seth and all Seth can talk about it Summer. Anna actually tells Seth that it’s time to hear some of her thoughts. You go Anna! Seth is actually taken aback.
After a second viewing of the OC, Seth actually gets on my nerves when it comes to this. He strings Ana along and pursues a girl who has said many times that she’s not interested in him. I think he is just actually clueless and doesn’t realize how he’s hurting Anna. He’s also in high school and we all did stupid things in high school. I never named a boat after a crush though.
Sweeney: The nature and expression of Seth’s affection for Summer has definitely been one of several things that don’t sit well with me while watching this show as an adult-type-person. I’m also acquiring a lot of Anna feels.
Ginny: Marissa heads home to her father’s place and is surprised to see her mother there. Julie explains that she wants them all to go to the benefit dinner together to show everyone they are still a family. At first Marissa is pretty mad about this but about thirty seconds later she is convinced. That wasn’t very hard.
The benefit is on the night that was supposed to be Ryan and Marissa’s first official date. Marissa asks Ryan to go and Ryan is pretty much like “um you don’t get along with your mother and oh yea your mother hates me.” Marissa says her mother has changed! Interesting because you refuse to stay at her house and are convinced she’s changed after about a two minute conversation? Marissa thinks her parents will get back together. Ryan agrees to go because Marissa uses the “boyfriend” word and Ryan starts talking about how he’s never been a boyfriend because…. and he agrees to go to the benefit rather than keep digging that hole.
Seth is in the main house talking to the maid saying that he “occasionally” talks about Summer and the maid gives him a pretty good “are you kidding me!” look. That’s pretty bad when even the maid has had enough. Ryan comes in and Seth wants confirmation that he doesn’t talk about Summer all the time while he continually talks about Summer. Ryan, like the maid, has had enough talk about Summer. I’ve had enough talk about Summer.
Sandy apologizes to Kirsten for missing their date night. Kirsten is not pleased and burns Sandy’s partner saying that some people who don’t like their life, make work their life. Sandy assures her that that is not the case with him and they kiss. I think Sandy and Kirsten might have more kissing time in this episode than Ryan and Marissa.
At school Ryan admits to Seth that Marissa is his girlfriend and Ryan wants Seth to go to the charity event. Seth wants to ask Summer but Ryan suggests he asks Anna. Seth convinces Anna to go by promising to not talk about Summer. Seth also mentions the word friend or friendship so many times. Oh Ana, this is just painful.
Lor: But not as painful as hearing Seth talk about Summer. I’m sorry, Anna.
Ginny: Sandy has his his big meeting with Caleb and Kirsten and his partner who is trying to get him to cheat on his wife. I feel like this would be a conflict in real life. Sandy should have no involvement in this case since it involves his father-in-law and wife. Ok I’m done being logical.
Sweeney: They sort of addressed this and glossed over it with a really hasty, “No, it’s totally not at all a problem,” and that was that. Majorly ridiculous.
Ginny: I will file that under we can’t have too much reality or it will ruin the show.
Cal gets personal at the meeting and calls Sandy out for working too much and Kirsten sits there mortified. This is why in real life Sandy would not be involved in these legal proceedings. Sandy is furious that Cal brought all of this up in the meeting which is completely understandable.
Marissa has Ryan over her mom’s house to help her pick out a dress for the charity event. Every boy’s dream, right? Ryan is still trying to convince Marissa why it is a bad idea for him to go. Basically where ever he goes there’s some sort of fight that breaks out. Marissa doesn’t care even though Ryan is totally right. Marissa’s mother comes in all sweet and nice and sends Marissa out of the room so she can talk to Ryan. Julie actually is nice to Ryan and apologizes to him for not giving him a chance. She tells him he’s welcome at the benefit on the yacht and Ryan says “I don’t really like boats”. I laughed so hard at this. I don’t even know why I just did. Julie hugs Ryan and Marissa comes back all happy that they are getting along. Ryan doesn’t even know what to do. He has the best awkward facial expressions.
Sweeney: I am so perplexed by the range of emotion you’re seeing from Ryan. I feel like you have some special Brood-O-Vision Glasses and I’d like to know where I can get a pair.
Lor: Sweeney, you could just guess! That’s what I do. “I guess this shade of brood means either, “I just stepped in some poo!” or “My girlfriend’s mother is hugging me and I don’t know what to do.”
Ginny: Ryan and I have a special connection.
Back at school Summer runs into Seth and Anna coming out of detention. There was a Paul Frank sale she couldn’t miss and so she got detention for ditching class. Way more important than school. I can’t really picture Summer wearing Paul Frank clothes. Is there another Paul Frank besides the clothing with monkeys all over it? (L: Not that I know of, but I’m poor.)
Summer asks Seth to catch him up on the History class she missed. Seth tells Summer he is going to the charity event with Anna and so he can’t go. Summer does not like this at all and grabs some random guy named Chip and declares that she’s going with him. Anna totally owns this scene with her witty remarks that go right over Summer’s head. I’m totally team Anna.
Sweeney: I love Anna enough that she’s confusing my Seth/Summer emotions, but Anna was being a little senselessly nasty to Summer here. Maybe it’s just because I desperately want Anna to be better than that. Whatever. Bad form, girl.
Ginny: I actually agree with that. I think she should direct her ire at Seth.
Sandy comes home and lays into Kirsten for talking about their problems with her father. Kirsten says she wouldn’t have to if Sandy was home more. Oh snap! Ryan is in the kitchen for this whole exchange. Sandy tells Ryan “don’t ever get married”. Sandy asks Ryan how his relationship is going with Marissa. Ryan says Marissa’s mom is the problem. Sandy doesn’t seem too surprised. Sandy leaves and Ryan brings out the trash and happens to catch Julie and Cal kissing. Of course it would be Ryan to see this. I mean there has to be some reason why the charity event on the yacht gets ruined. Julie sees Ryan and knows she’s been caught.
Marissa shows up at the pool house in her charity event dress and I’m pretty sure Marissa never wears a bra during this whole entire show. (S: We gave Buffy her own tag for that problem. I think it’s time Marissa gets one too.) Marissa declares her mother is a different person and Ryan doesn’t say anything because really what can he say. Plus it will be much better to tell her at a more awkward time right?
Anna arrives at the Cohen house looking adorable. This is her first time at Seth’s house and she asks him “Is this where all the magic happens?” Seth replies “If by magic you’re referring to the card game than yes.” Oh Seth I can’t be annoyed with you for too long with your nerdy comments. Kirsten comes in and Ryan asks where Sandy is. Kirsten tells him not to ask.
Sandy is at work but is trying to finish up quickly to get to the charity event. His partner is trying to get him to take a break and eat some food next to her on the floor. Everyone can see where this is going except for Sandy. Sandy’s partner starts stretching so Sandy can get a clear view of her flat stomach. Nope, she’s not trying at all.
It’s time for the charity event on the yacht. Julie shoots Ryan daggers when he steps onto the boat. She knows he knows and she is pissed. Marissa is living in la la land and is just happy that her family seems to be together again.
Sweeney: Like a total teenager. Being a train wreck was a high point for Mischa Barton’s acting on this show, but I’ll go ahead and say that being happy – something she does about half a dozen times on the entire show – is something else she’s pretty good at. Maybe it’s just that she’s pretty and when she smiles that distracts you from the rest. Regardless, her enthusiasm for her mythical reunited family gives me feelings for our little drunk clothes hanger.
Ginny: Sorry Marissa it’s only downhill for you from here.
Seth and Anna show up followed by Summer and Chip. Chip might actually be dumber than Summer. “The ocean is like so fast and like so endless.” I will give it to Summer. She may not be the brightest but she can be good with the comebacks and just doesn’t care if you think she’s smart or not. Summer sends Chip off to get them drinks because he’s annoying her.
Julie starts following Ryan around the boat so she can tell him that he better not say anything about her and Cal. Ryan pretty much tells her that she made her bed and she can lie in it.
Ryan rejoins Marissa and Marissa is going on and on about how happy she is about her parents. Ryan shoots those dreams down real fast, telling Marissa not to count on her parents getting back together. Marissa tells Ryan he wouldn’t understand, basically implying because he comes from a broken him he just can’t understand that her parents could get back together. Marissa, your privileged white girl is showing. Ryan tells Marissa that no her parents are not getting back together because her mom is seeing Caleb. Smooth Ryan. I think Ryan could have picked a better time to tell Marissa this. Like maybe not on a boat with a ton of people around. Maybe in private?
Sweeney: In no universe could this have been a good plan, Ryan.
Ginny: Back at Sandy’s office his partner has decided since the bare belly move didn’t work it’s time to be a little more forward and literally starts crawling towards him on the floor. Sandy is speechless at first but quickly shuts her down. You cannot ruin Sandy Cohen! Back off. Sandy says he’s leaving, he’s got a boat to catch. There will be some real awkward times at work on Monday.
Lor: Unluckily for Sandy, there are already some real awkward times happening on the boat, right at this moment.
Ginny: Back on awkward times boat Ana and Seth are flirting and Ana tries to kiss Seth but Seth quickly leaves to get a drink. Summer follows Seth when he’s on his way to get a drink. Summer pulls Seth aside and kisses him and confesses that she likes him. They are both surprised. News flash Summer – Seth is adorable and sweet and you’re just realizing that he’s actually crush worthy?
Of course Ryan tells Marissa about her mother and Cal right before Marissa is supposed to go on stage with her whole family where there’s a microphone where the winner of a special romantic prize will be announced. In a turn of not so surprising events Marissa announces to the whole Newport community that her mother and Caleb are having an affair. Ryan has the worst smug face while this is going on.
Jimmy tells Julie he is DONE with her and she is Caleb’s problem now. Sandy and Kirsten win the raffle and Sandy is not there. Everyone claps awkwardly.
Lor: These people should stop having events. Something tells me these people will not stop having events.
Ginny: Julie follows Marissa outside and tries to apologize to Marissa. Marissa tells her mother she wants nothing to do with her. We’ll see how long that lasts.
Anna finds Seth and Seth lies to her about where he’s been. I seriously just want to give Anna a hug. I feel bad for her. (S: SAAAAME.) Summer catches Seth’s eye and makes an “I will kill you!” motion with her hand if he tells anyone. Why does he like her?
Sweeney: My Summer feels take offense to this comment, but I must acknowledge that this was decidedly not her finest moment.
Ginny: I will say that as the series goes on I like Summer more. I just get annoyed that she thinks Seth is beneath her (at this point in time) but high school politics happens. Summer grows quite a bit in the series and I like who she becomes.
Kirsten confronts her father about keeping this from her and he turns it around on her saying that if this was the way she was going to react could she blame him for not saying anything? Wow, really? I hate that reverse psychology crap. Luckily Kirsten is not going to take that and wishes him good luck with his new girlfriend, because he’s going to need it.
Sandy arrives on the yacht and is all “I’m here!” Kirsten is all we are so out of here. Sandy says “but I wore a jacket!” Aw, Sandy you tried.
Marissa tells Ryan she is ready for their first date. Ryan is pretty much like “yea I give up about this whole first date thing. Sleeping with girls is way easier.”
Sandy and Kirsten return home and jokes with Kirsten that Julie could be her new step-mother. Sandy says he’s glad they won the romantic getaway and they makeup and make out, again…
The episode ends right where it began, with Ryan and Marissa making out in the pool house. Ryan asks Marissa to spend the night but promises not to try anything. Marissa says she’s never slept with someone before (as in the sleeping next to sense) Ryan says he’s never actually slept with someone before either, he usually climbs out the window or the back seat of the car. Hey-oh Ryan can be funny sometimes. Marissa says she’s suddenly not tired and I think we can all assume what’s going to happen as the camera pans away from the pool house. My first dates were very different in high school.
Next time: It’s Thanksgiving in Orange County and you know how much we love holiday trauma. Tune in for The OC S01 E11 – The Homecoming.
I'm a legal assistant in Boston who loves reading, snarking, cats and french fries. Oh let's not forget naps - naps are good. I blog about my life and whatever else I feel like blogging about. It's the melting pot of blogs.
Nicole is the co-captain of Snark Squad and these days she spends most of her time editing podcasts. She spends too much time on Twitter and very occasionally vlogs and blogs. In her day job she's a producer, editor, director, and sometimes host of educational YouTube channels. She loves travel, maps, panda gifs, and semicolons. Writing biographies stresses her out; she crowd sourced this one years ago and has been using a version of it ever since. She would like to thank Twitter for their help.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
