Previously: The Charmed Ones called on their magical ancestor to get rid of a warlock fond of power copying.
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Wicca Envy
Lorraine: Prue and Phoebe arrive from a shopping excursion and Piper comes from inside the house, shirt open, giggling, led by an also partially undressed Leo. Freaked out by the appearance of her sisters, she freezes time, trips over Leo and slides all the way toward EMBARRASSING.
Piper is only momentarily distracted by all of the shopping bags and asks Prue if maybe she’s just depression shopping. No matter how many times I regret retail therapy, I will never speak ill of it. It hurts so good. Piper pushes her sisters out of Leo’s sight. She runs back, puts her hand in his, and when time unfreezes, continues her run upstairs with him.
Later, Kit (the cat) is randomly playing in a paper bag. Behind Prue, a ghost-like Buckland appears. Kit looks at him like, “dafuq?” (I swear that cat just did some of the best acting on this show so far) and hisses. Ghost!Buckland tells Prue that she forgot to unpack her briefcase when she got home. Inside her briefcase is a tiara. Ghost!Buckland says she’s going to think she’s picking up her datebook and she’ll put it in her desk drawer like she always does. Prue obeys. Finally, Ghost!Buckland tells Prue to finish getting ready for bed. She starts to undress, which Ghost!Buckland looks a little too interested in. Kit jumps up on the desk and hisses again. Like the cat is all, “okay, subliminal suggestion is one thing but watching her undress is TOO FAR.”
Ghost!Buckland comes back into his body. Snooty Assistant is on hand to ask Very Good Questions, so everyone is fed their healthy dose of exposition: Buckland was astral projecting and implanting subliminal thoughts into Prue’s brain, much like he did when he lead her to steal that tiara from the vault. Snooty still doesn’t get how it works, so in demonstration, Buckland astral projects himself next to her and subliminally suggest that she wants to disrobe for him. When he comes back into his body, she’s doing just that. “Understand now, Hannah?” he asks. I for one now completely understand… what a CREEP this guy is.
I AM THE SAHN.
After the credits, I swear they are doing the moody 90’s music/establishing shots of San Francisco thing again. If we add that to the drinking game, we have a guaranteed shot every episode! Prue tries on a bunch of outfits before coming down in a black suit. Piper follows behind her and tries to make a quick exit but her siblings want to know about her night’s adventures. Piper’s late for work, but her sisters won’t let her off the hook and insist on hearing details. Piper says it was wonderful, but also she was nervous and kept freezing Leo. Well, the first time it was an accident and the other times…
Between Piper’s love life, Prue’s new wardrobe and Phoebe’s soon-to-be-employed-ness, things are looking up. Piper continues to be the only sister who has ever seen TV and is all, “DO NOT EVEN SAY THAT.” But too late. Phoebe said it, because she’s the sister that reads Latin aloud from dusty old books in attics. And here we are.
Leo bounces down stairs, positively cheery. Prue and Piper leave on a cloud of giggles, leaving Leo and Piper alone to say goodbye.
Andy rounds the corner Prue’s a little, “oh. You.” about his presence and assignment to this case. Because there only appear to be 2 detectives in San Francisco. Morris strolls by and asks for the security tapes from the previous night. Andy and Prue awkwardly set up a later meeting time.
In Buck’s office, Snooty Assistant is PISSED he’s taking Phoebe to the concert. He calls her kitten and purrs at her. I feel like that move might come in handy in my real life one day. Probably not, though. Buck says he only invited Phoebe to upset Prue and better frame her. There is a special spell in the Book of Shadows for relinquishing their powers and he’s confident that when the time comes, they’ll use it.
At the station, Prue tells Andy that put away the tiara and locked up the vault herself. She wonders if she’s being interrogated. Andy says no, but Morris is a little more like, “well… maybe?” because there were no signs of forced entry. Andy ends the questioning and says they’ll be in touch. When she’s gone, Andy asks Morris what his insistence was about. Morris is all, “BRO. You were about to arrest her last episode for stealing a feather.” Plus, Prue does look awfully suspicious, especially because she brought over all of the security tapes, except the one from the vault.
Qua ke. Prue and Piper talk a bit about the afterglow of sex and stolen tiaras. Phoebe walks in with Buckland, looking rather chummy. Buckland briefly asks about the police investigation before he and Phoebe skip off to continue their date. Piper sees that Prue looks like she’s going to punch multiple people in the face and tells her to calm down and let Phoebe have this. Prue says she isn’t jealous, just territorial. She wants to keep her home life and work life separated.
Cut to her home, the next day. There are a box of flowers waiting for Phoebe with a note from Buck about a lovely evening and how a job will be hers in no time. Phoebe says she casually mentioned about the employment agency and Buck said he’d make a few calls. Prue says this in”t her business, but does ask that Phoebe watch what she says; there are things Prue doesn’t want her boss to know about her. The implied part is, “and you like announcing that we’re witches.”
The doorbell rings and it’s Andy and Morris. Prue, girl, you wouldn’t be surprised to find whoever was on the other side if you looked first. Andy’s got a search warrant. After a Not!Break, Phoebe is loudly protesting the search, asking if they really think Prue stole the tiara. The detectives answer noncommittally. Piper freezes time as Andy opens Prue’s desk drawer. She grabs the tiara and shows it to her sisters, who guess it must’ve been planted there. Piper hides the tiara under some pillows. She unfreezes time. Astral Projection Buckland [APB] shows up and subliminally suggests to Andy that someone look under the pillows. Piper freezes time and moves the tiara into the dresser. She unfreezes time. APB suggests to Andy that he look in the dresser again. Piper freezes time. Again: I love the way Holly Marie Combs throws her hands out to freeze time. Her twitchy portrayal of this character is endearing.
Phoebe hides the tiara outside of the room, Piper unfreezes time and the detectives, after the worst search ever, give up. APB comes back into his body, frustrated by those darn witches and those powers he already knew they had! Snooty asks how they can frame Prue if they can’t successfully plant evidence. Buck shushes her and it might be a step above from purring at her. These things are hard to rate. Buck decides to up the stakes.
Manor. Any number of warlocks could be setting Prue up. Leo enters and asks if he can go upstairs to fix the bathroom sink. The girls allow him.
Piper asks Prue if she has any idea who could be setting her up. If Prue has to guess, she’s starting with Snooty Assistant.
Leo goes upstairs into the attic. He waves his hand and opens a few trunks. I remember what Leo is, but I would assume first time watchers were all, “NOT YOU LEO!” He keeps poking around the attic until Piper catches him. She asks what he’s doing and he makes something up about looking for light fixtures. He switches gears and tells her he has bad news: he might have to go home soon. Piper awkwardly thanks him for letting her know. When Leo leaves, Piper notices that the drawer where Phoebe hid the tiara is open.
Phoebe heads to Buck’s apartment. Before he answers the door, Astral Projection Buckland subliminally suggests that she’s going to see a spectacular apartment. Inside, Buck admits that he said, “dinner party” but meant, “party of just you and me,” which is a very rape-y thing to do. He tells her about an interview he got her for some magazine. She’s interested but wonders what the catch is. Buckland says she has to sleep with him, but he’s just joking! So funny.
Buck excuses himself and then astrally projects back out to Phoebe. He tells her she’s having a premonition of Prue in danger at the auction house. Usually, Phoebe has had to touch something of meaning to set off a premonition. She doesn’t think of this, though, and takes off to save her sister, making awkward apologies on the way out. Buck snaps his fingers and the room becomes empty, which doesn’t actually make sense because Phoebe was glamoured (in a sense), not the room. He places a 9-1-1 call, impersonating the auction house’s security guard Jaime, saying he’s about to get murdered.
We jump to the auction house where Jaime and Prue are chatting. He says she was the last one out the night the tiara was stolen, but he’s confident she didn’t do it. Prue goes to her desk and uses the company’s database to look up Buck and Snooty Assistant. Their names do not pull any results. Astral Projection Buckland appears behind Prue and subliminally suggests that a warlock is after her.
Jaime is checking out the warehouse. APB tells Prue she hears a scream there and that she should grab the artifact just inside the door when she enters. In the warehouse, Snooty whacks Jaime over the head with an artifact and plants the missing security tape near the body. Prue runs in, grabs the artifact and finds the body. Phoebe enters shortly after, but it’s too late. Jaime is dead.
After another Not!Break, the police have found the tape and all signs point to Prue being guilty. Prue suggests to Phoebe that Buck might be involved in all of this, but Phoebe doesn’t believe it. Prue is arrested.
Phoebe and Piper go back to Rex’s apartment to get his help and they only find the empty, dingy room. Prue was right.
Prue is pacing around her cell and being harassed by her cell neighbor. She squints at him and sends him flying into his bed. Andy is brooding and Morris tries to get him to talk about it. He knows Prue didn’t do it. Morris is all, “but like, the evidence and stuff.”
At the Manor, Piper wants to get rid of the tiara. Phoebe says they have to worry about the warlocks in addition to the justice system. Framing Prue has to be part of a bigger plot to separate them and steal their powers. Phoebe hides the tiara again and says they have to go. Astral Projection Buckland saw this whole exchange.
Phoebe has led Piper all the way to the station house, where they plan to break Prue out of her cell so they can vanquish Buck together. Mostly, Piper is going to break Prue out of her cell while Phoebe is the “lookout,” which loosely translates to, “lamest power.” Piper is successful but as they run out, Buck is waiting for them and snaps a picture. He Villain Gloats that he’s been watching their every move and that Snooty has retrieved the tiara from the manor for reasons that escape me. He wants their powers and knows there is a spell in the Book of Shadows that would strip them of it. He hands them a magical lantern that will hold their powers. If they deliver them to him, he will hand over the photo and tell the police he misplaced the tiara.
The 3Ps are back home, examining the Book of Shadows. None of them want to give up their powers, but they can’t think of any way out of this. Piper says they have take a leap of faith and hope it works out. Leo is eavesdropping on this conversation.
Up in the attic, the girls recite the relinquishment spell.
The Book is left blank and the sisters sad.
At the Auction House, Buckland knows they are coming. Snooty morphs into a black panther.
Andy is working late when he gets the background checks on Buck and Snooty. The real Hanna and Rex are both dead.
The 3Ps get to the auction house and wonder if maybe this is just a giant trap. It is, because as soon as Buck has his power lantern, Snooty Panther comes out all growly and murdery. Back at the Manor, Leo goes into the attic, holding his toolbox, which is pretty hilarious. Always gotta keep up appearances! In the middle of the night. Alone in the house. He puts his hands over the Book of Shadows and magic things happen.
Buck realizes that the girls have their powers back and orders Snooty Panther to strike. Piper freezes time with the panther in mid-air and the sisters get the heck out of panther pouncing distance. Prue telekinesises Buck into panther pouncing distance and Piper unfreezes time. Snooty Panther lands, chomps on, and kills Buck. Snooty morphs back into assistant form and cries. While the Ps watch, the bodies of both Buck and Snooty are engulfed in flames as she yells at some unseen force that it isn’t her fault.
SEE YA SUCKERS.
That all done, Prue says they have to get her back to jail. She gets back in time, because next we see, Andy and Morris pay her a visit to let her know she’s off the hook. Buck and Snooty killed two people and assumed their identities. The cops found the tiara hidden in Buck’s office. The also found the picture of Prue escaping jail, but they just laugh that off. NO BIG, EVERYONE!
Later, in the attic, the girls have no idea how they got their powers back. Leo shows up to say goodbye to Prue, but promises to be back soon. After he leaves, Prue rips out the relinquishment spell from the Book of Shadows and the girls burn it. We watch Leo leave the house by twinkling away. Seriously, he fades into a bunch of twinkles. This show loves its twinkle effects.
Next time: Phoebe’s ex-boyfriend comes into town with his stolen demon urn (which is apparently a thing) in Charmed S01 E11 – Feats of Clay.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
