Previously: Veronica dumped Logan and a school bus crashed over the side of a cliff.
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Driver Ed
Lorraine: Veronica is looking very intensely at a display of dessert. Veronica Voice Over asks us, “if a school bus traveling 40 miles per hour drives off a cliff and plunges 90 feet into the jagged coastline, how many seconds do the six high-school students, their teacher and bus driver have to contemplate the fact that they’re about to die?” No wonder V’s serving some pie and she can’t even look happy about pie. Those are some morbid thoughts.
Sweeney: This is the brain space of Veronica Mars we’re talking about here.
Lor: VVO says if anyone made a deal with their maker, only one person was heard. Duncan walks in and Veronica asks him how Meg is doing. Meg survived. She’s unconscious but hanging in. Duncan tells Veronica to stop torturing herself. She argues that she’s simply experiencing the appropriate amount of guilt. Duncan says that Meg was avoiding him too, but V doesn’t think so. She’s keen on taking all the blame for herself. A girl at the counter sassily asks for a macchiato. Veronica says she’s just the hostess but I Love Macchiatos doesn’t care.
Democracy Diva: I am less than pleasant before I’ve had my caffeine fix, but girl, chillax and stop being such a total bitch about macchiatos.
Sweeney: That kind of behavior will get you some much-deserved deliberately decaffeinated macchiato.
Lor: Sheriff’s Station. Don Lamb is fielding questions from reporters about the bus crash. Lamb says they are looking into the driver, Ed Doyle, a man with a history of mental illness and marital problems. His prescription for anti-depressants was never filled and he had previously attempted suicide. There were no skid marks at the scene of the crash. Lamb is done answering questions and we see that Mayoral candidate Steven Guttenberg is also there, looking very grim and disapproving.
Neptune High for One Tragedy After Another. News vans surround the school as VVO tells us that there are some people willing to pimp out their memories of their dead classmates. In her office/bathroom, a blonde girl is leaning against the wall, apparently waiting for her. Veronica Mars should probably find a new bathroom.. She asks if V knows who she is. Veronica does, but admits that she didn’t know this particular student last week. “Your dad drives one bus off a cliff,” the girl says ruefully.
Diva: The show fills its “that guy from that thing” quota in this episode with the blonde girl, who you might recognize as Kat Dennings’s drunk best friend in Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist.
Sweeney: Oh, girl, that quota? WAIT FOR IT.
Lor: Veronica asks if she wants something. Daughter Doyle wants proof her father didn’t kill himself. She has a family that won’t be able to care for themselves because the insurance company won’t payout if the death is ruled a suicide. Veronica wonders how she’s even supposed to approach proving someone didn’t kill themselves. Daughter Doyle doesn’t know; if she did, she wouldn’t be waiting for Veronica Mars in a bathroom. Veronica says she can’t help, because apparently she’s going to turn down every case this year before deciding to actually take it.
On her way out, a group of probably 09ers walk in and the one with the SAG card immediately attacks Jessie (Daughter Doyle), saying she wouldn’t have the nerve to show up to school if her father drove a bus off a cliff. SAG 09er turns and asks Veronica if she and Duncan are coming to Logan’s Life’s Short Party. Jessie taps SAG 09er’s shoulder and then PUNCHES HER. IN THE FACE. Veronica runs over and is all, “OKAY GIRL. I WILL HELP YOU.” but only if Jessie chills. I bet SAG 09er’s face probably wishes Veronica would’ve taken the case in the first place.
Sweeney: But think of the lost points!
Lor: COME ON NOW SUGAR!
Post-credits, Veronica finds herself at a memorial people have set up at the site of the crash. She doesn’t even know what she’s looking for. Jessie is there, and she notes that her dad hasn’t gotten a votive candle. Soon, the people gathered there are glaring and Veronica leads Jessie away.
Little League game. Keith and Steve Guttenberg are standing on the sideline. Steve is giving his spiel about why he wants to run for the mayor (but I don’t think they don’t call it mayor). Keith just smiles. There are a bunch of boys waiting to use the field. They don’t have uniforms, or clean clothes for that matter. Many of them have brown skin. You know what we’re getting at here. These Poor Kids want their turn on the field.
The adults are ignoring the kid drama as Steve Guttenberg (he tells Keith to call him Woody, and I guess I will, but I’m not happy about it) tells Keith that he wants a competent sheriff when he’s Not Mayor. He wants Keith to run and will support his campaign. Keith asks where Woody stood when Keith was removed from office. Woody signed the petition to get rid of Keith, but admits he was wrong.
Diva: I do not trust Woody. And not just because I can’t take his name seriously. Something about him gives me the wiggins.
Sweeney: The name itself is wiggins-inducing.
Lor: I can’t decide if it’s more the name Woody or Steve Guttenberg’s face because, well…
The Poor Kids are tired of waiting around and run onto the field. A fight breaks out and Woody rushes over to break it up. He apologizes to the Poor Kids and hustles his Rich Kids away. Woody tells Keith to get back to him at the end of the week. Keith seems slightly impressed.
Mars Apartment. Veronica is serving breakfast as Keith says he isn’t sure about running. He doesn’t want to expose Veronica to the ugliness elections dredge up. (D: LOL. What kind of publicity would a local election bring that Keith’s new book about a famous movie star sleeping with and murdering an underage girl didn’t already cause?) Veronica says if he wants to protect her, he will run for sheriff. I’m not sure I follow her logic, but it’s real nice and supportive.
Sweeney: I took her logic as, “We’ll all be a lot safer, myself included, with you as sheriff.”
Lor: That works!
They interrupt their breakfast to pay attention to the TV, where a convenience store clerk is being interviewed. (D: IT’S KEVIN SMITH. Playing a clerk. Hilarious.) (S: YUP. THERE IT IS.) Bus driver Doyle bought a couple of things then returned to buy a St. Christopher medal. He immediately threw it out. Keith hugs Veronica and says he can’t imagine where he’d be if V had gotten back on the bus. After making a joke to lighten the sentiment, Veronica wonders what else Doyle bought at that stop. If it were an energy drink or something it could prove that the driver was just sleepy. Keith tells her there is no making sense out of this situation and she says a little rhyme or reason would be worthwhile for his daughter.
Neptune High. Veronica overhears some 09er girl saying that “at least” everyone they knew got off, minus Meg. She wonders if Meg’s face will be normal, post accident. Veronica angrily slams that girl’s locker and walks away. Duncan finds Veronica and jokes with her about her crabby mood, and she snaps at him too, asking if she should feel happy like him. Duncan throws his hands up in surrender and walks away.
Diva: This is why you guys shouldn’t be dating.
Sweeney: Eehhh, setting aside the fact that Teddy Dunn is the worst, V’s rage flares up plenty all on its own. Knowing when to back off, rather than fanning the flames, is probably a good thing.
That, of course, assumes you can set aside that Teddy Dunn is the worst, which is another matter entirely…
Lor: Terrence Cook, who we met in the season 2 premiere, walks into a room where I Love Macchiatos (Jackie) is in bed. He demands to know when she plans on getting up.
Papa Terrence tells her she can’t miss another day of school and she makes sassy comments that insinuate this living with him thing is a new development. He’s leaving for two days and leaves her with the keys to the Bronco to drive to school.
Cut to Jackie pulling into the Neptune High parking lot in a decidedly-not-a-Bronco-Porsche. Wallace is in class listening to a totally BS story an 09er girl is telling about Servando, a PCH-er she says was also on honor roll. Wallace rolls his eyes. Jackie walks into the classroom with her so-far-usual amount of uncalled for sass. The teacher directs her to the attendance office and Wallace is quick to volunteer to walk her.
In the hall, my dislike for Jackie grows as she claims she hasn’t dated a guy in high school since 8th grade, because statutory rape is SO COOL. She also says some bullshit about only liking bad boys, which works against Wallace who is playing the nice guy angle. Wallace jokes about her daddy complex and she gets mock offended, though I’m not entirely convinced it was mock, what with her daddy complex and all. Jackie laughs it off and says that if Wallace had called her a bitch and walked away (as opposed to the apology he issued) they could’ve had something.
Jackie: I am not a fan. (I’m also not a Snow, but a this moment I remember about 10% of Jackie’s storyline. Her second impression on me is not a good one so far.)
Diva: I am a Snow, and I can’t stand Jackie thusfar.
Sweeney: It’s a shame, too, because Tessa Thompson is delightful.
Lor: Speaking of statutory rape! (I feel like I have to add the caveat that I don’t know what age Logan is. Maybe he is 18. The age of consent in California is 18. Blah blah blah, age is just a number, but also this is maybe illegal and there is certainly a level of ick, etc.) Logan is with Cordelia (okay, Kendall) and says something about sex being better than fifth period English. Kendall is all, “ew.” because, you know, he’s in high school. But that doesn’t actually stop her.
Neptune High for Everyone Not Skipping School for Sex. Duncan and Veronica find each other in the parking lot and make up.
From there we cut back to Logan and Kendall still going at it. (S: Kendall says Logan’s her first younger guy and I laugh/gag/cry at the same time because TRAUMA.) They are interrupted by the unexpected arrival of Papa Casablancas, Dick and Cassidy. By the time the Casablancas men make it into the living room, Logan is gone. She says he’s upstairs waiting for the boys, and complains about their friends showing up whenever they feel like it.
Dick and Beaver find Logan upstairs. Papa Casablancas joins them to say Logan is welcome there anytime, no matter what Kendall insinuates. Plus, he invites Logan to go shooting with him and Dick. Beaver is decidedly left out.
Diva: For reasons I will never understand, Logan AGREES to go PLAY WITH GUNS with the dude whose WIFE HE IS FUCKING. This is a terrible plan.
Lor: Neptune High for Nice Guys Trying Not to Finish Last. Jackie is standing by her Porsche glaring at… I don’t know. Air. Wallace asks if she’s had a bad first day and she points out where someone hit her father’s car and shows him the fake note they left. She says this is exactly what her father is expecting though something tells me she means the crash and not the fact that she took it without his consent. But, she is the only black girl we’ve seen in a healthy while and she’s in the opening credits now, so Wallace is obligated to pursue her and says he can help with the car crash thing. He knows someone.
Rest Stop. Veronica is disgustedly examining bus crash souvenirs. Wallace calls her, but can immediately tell she’s got other things going on. He tells her to forget about his call. He’s going to handle this case all on his own.
Veronica approaches the clerk and plays nice, mentioning seeing him on TV and all. (D: It should be noted that he is wearing the souvenir memorial tee shirt, which features a bus and angel wings. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen.) She asks for the same last meal as the bus driver. He gives her big slushie and a bag of peanuts, which isn’t very telling. Veronica notices a sign that says the store will not make change. The medals of St. Christopher are selling for $0.25. Veronica buys one, handing the clerk a dollar, and gets three quarters change. LIGHT BULB. Doyle just needed change for the payphone.
After a not-break, Veronica is at the sheriff’s station. She asks Deputy Sacks for an application for a part-time receptionist job they’ve posted in the classifieds. Sacks hands over the application and leads Veronica to an empty room so she can fill it out. As soon as Sacks leaves, she picks up the phone and pretends to be a deputy so she can access the pay phone records.
Diva: Not like impersonating an officer of the law is a felony or anything. Nope, no big deal at all.
Lor: Neptune High. Wallace asks some guys playing hackey sack if they happened to see the car crash. They did and can offer that it was a blonde chick with a nice ass driving a green car. A clue, a clue!
At the station, Sacks tells Sheriff Lamb, with great amusement, that Veronica is applying for the job. Lamb’s immediate reaction is, “You left VERONICA MARS alone?” Veronica hangs the phone up one second before Lamb walks in on her. She looks real suspicious, with her hand still on the receiver, as she stashes her notebook away. He asks what she’s doing there and she sasses that she’s filling in the last question: why do you want this position? Veronica asks if it’s too much to say it’s to be near Lamb. He huffs as he roughly pushes her chair back and walks her out of the room.
Back at school, Wallace takes Jackie through his super sleuthing: getting a list of all the students’ cars and license plates, eliminatING the guys and cross referencing the yearbook. It left him with four blondes driving green cars. He’s eliminated two of those suspects. Jackie just sort of complains some more about how he’s definitely not going to figure this out is time. (S: Shut up or be useful, girl.) Wallace assures her the case is already solved.
Later, he checks out the green car of the last suspect and is caught. The girl is on crutches because she had knee surgery a month ago, also eliminating her as a suspect.
Doyle Apartment. Veronica asks Jessie if she recognizes the name Cotter, because that’s who her father called. The address is from the apartment complex, but when Veronica stopped by, no one was around. Jessie says her father never hung out with any of the neighbors.
The doorbell rings and its Sheriff Lamb and a handful of deputies. They have a warrant to collect evidence because suicide that takes the lives of others is considered a murder.
Gun Range. Logan and the Dicks are shooting. Papa Casablancas says some creepy things about how if you want to shoot someone you go for the head and the heart, so they are for sure dead. Also, you have to focus, kind of how like when Papa Casablancas is working, his family doesn’t exist and vice versa. Logan takes things to an even more awkward place when he brings up his father, the murderer. Papa Casblancas just pats him on the shoulder and shuffles away.
Sweeney: I mean, Papa Casablancas, you definitely made this thing awkward first, giving creepy murder advice to the son of a high profile murderer.
Lor: Poorly planned small talk.
Dick says they should have some girls over the next night because the house will be empty. Logan reminds him that he lives alone but Dick says only “psycho chicks want to go to casa de killer.” Logan chuckles, but is clearly not amused. He spins around and shoots the target right in the chest. Point of this scene is probably to remind us of Logan’s many issues.
Sac-n-Pac. Wallace is at the counter reading the newspaper, specifically an article about Servando.
We cut to Veronica knocking on an apartment door. A man who identifies himself as Someone Cotter opens and she quickly explains (lies) that she’s with the district attorney’s office and that Ed Doyle placed a call to that apartment right before the bus accident. Cotter was in New York at that time so he calls over his wife. She doesn’t know anything about Ed Doyle but does claim to remember getting a wrong number call.
Veronica finishes with the Cotters as she gets a call from Jessie, saying the sheriff’s department found Ed Doyle’s suicide note saved on his computer. Veronica later stops by to check in on Jessie. Mama Doyle is yelling, her younger brother is crying and things are generally terrible. The sheriff’s department faxed over a copy of Doyle’s suicide note and Jessie reads it for Veronica. It says some stuff about not being able to stay for the kids and this being the best for everyone. Veronica realizes something.
At the Sac-n-Pac, a reporter approaches Wallace about the bus crash. When he pulls out a notebook, one the guy says all reporters use, Wallace also realizes something.
Veronica goes back to the Cotter’s and this time, Mrs. Cotter is alone. Veronica asks her if Ed dialed the wrong number, why it was a four minute call. Without waiting for an answer, Veronica says she read Ed’s suicide note, but really, it was a note saying he was going to leave his wife for Mrs. Cotter.
We cut again, this time to Veronica introducing Jessie to Mrs. Cotter. Jessie is understandably having trouble with this meeting, but finally takes a seat when Mrs. Cotter says that Ed couldn’t leave his children with their mother. Mrs. Cotter says she never got to be with the man that she loved and VVO says this is a moment of epiphany.
Veronica visits Duncan at his hotel room and they have sex. Because life is short and you never know when a bus crash may steal the one you love.
Sweeney: Again, Duncan/Veronica gets such amazing music – The Format’s “On Your Porch” plays in the background through all this. The music department is pulling all the weigh of selling this relationship.
Lor: While they are lying in bed after sex, they hear their neighbors also banging and moaning. Later, while Duncan sleeps, Veronica sneaks out of the room. Out of their neighboring room comes none other than Logan (D: EW, CORDELIA-LOGAN SEX NOISES, EW), who gives her grief about how cuddling isn’t supposed to be the best part. Logan leaves and Veronica quickly calls the hotel and asks for the room he just came from. We hear a woman answer, but Veronica has to quickly hide her phone when Duncan comes out to say goodbye.
Papa Casablancas and Kendall get home and find Beaver sleeping. Papa Casablancas scares him awake (DICK.) and Beaver spills popcorn everywhere. As he cleans it up, he finds an empty condom wrapper under the couch.
Diva: The condom’s brand name is “Live Large.” I giggled for approximately an hour and a half.
Lor: Keith meets Woody at the sheriff’s station and tells him he’s decided not to run. Of course, though, as Keith is about to leave, he witnesses Jessie trying to appeal to Sheriff Lamb about her father’s case. Lamb refuses to reopen it and Keith has many feelings.
Sweeney: BECAUSE THE TOWN WOULD BE A BETTER PLACE UNDER SHERIFF MARS AND HE KNOWS IT.
Lor: Neptune High for Wallace Trying to Be The Best Girl Detective Ever. Wallace and Jackie wait in the parking lot. In the background, a blonde woman gets into her green car. She gets out immediately and comes toward them, asking for her spark plugs. Wallace asks for her insurance information. They exchange. The lady goes back to her car and Wallace explains that she doesn’t even go there. She’s a reporter, a la Drew Barrymore in Never Been Kissed. This ends for her with more police and less Michael Vartan, though, plus maybe a hike in her insurance premiums. Sorry blonde reporter lady.
Mars Apartment. Veronica asks how Woody took the news. The answer is splendidly because Keith decided to run. Veronica hugs him and he pulls back a little to look at her.
VVO says there is no way that Keith can tell she had sex… right?
I don’t know, Veronica. I wouldn’t put it past Keith.
A bit of music takes us over to the beach where a body has washed up on shore. Lamb opens up the corpse’s hand to reveal Veronica’s name written on it in ink.
Diva: Wait, so this is not a body related to the bus crash? This is just some other random dead body in this town full of dead people? Even by fictional town standards, this is a bit much.
Lor: Patience, Diva Snow.
See you all next time!
Next time on Veronica Mars: Cassidy hires Veronica to prove Kendall is cheating. Uncomfortable! See how it goes in S02 E03 – Cheatty Cheatty Bang Bang.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
Nicole is the co-captain of Snark Squad and these days she spends most of her time editing podcasts. She spends too much time on Twitter and very occasionally vlogs and blogs. In her day job she's a producer, editor, director, and sometimes host of educational YouTube channels. She loves travel, maps, panda gifs, and semicolons. Writing biographies stresses her out; she crowd sourced this one years ago and has been using a version of it ever since. She would like to thank Twitter for their help.
I'm a J.D. by day/blogger by night who directs her snark and judgment primarily towards celebrities and their many red carpet mishaps. Blogging from the style capital of the world (just kidding - I live in DC), I rant and rave over the best and worst in fashion and pop culture.
