Previously: Prue cloned herself and then her clones got murdered.
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That ’70s Episode
Marines: Prue and Phoebe are going through old pictures and Phoebe is complaining about a lack of HER in all of them. Prue finds a couple of Baby Phoebe, including one with their mom. Phoebe catches some feels but before they can explore them too much, Piper rushes in looking for pen and paper. There’s a knock on the door and on the way there, Piper exposits to her sisters that every year this man shows up on the same day with flowers for their grandmother from a secret admirer, when clearly he’s the admirer.
Piper opens the door and it’s Blatant Admirer with flowers for “Penny Halliwell.” He throws the flowers at Piper, but I think actually it’s supposed to look like he’s dropped them. Piper freezes time and says that every year he drops the flowers too. I would really like to know (1)- how many years this has truly been going on, (b)- why Prue and Phoebe don’t know about any of this and (cat)- how long Grams has been dead because the answers to those questions would really clarify just how stupid this is.
Phoebe asks about the pen and paper and Piper says she’s going to write him a note to say Grams is dead. Piper grabs the flowers from mid-air and unfreezes time. Blatant Admirer (and his Blatantly Fake Mustache) says that he only heard five chimes and it’s noon, so that must mean Piper froze him. The P’s finally have their powers. The 3Ps start backing away slowly, but also, just kind of watch as he takes out a blatantly Bad News Ring and puts it on his finger. His fake mustache fades away and we see he’s a much younger man. Blatant Admirer says that he made a pact with their mother 24 years before, sparing her life in exchange for their powers. She blessed the Bad News Ring to make him immune to their powers, so he could kill them. He points the Bad News Ring at them and makes them overheat from the inside. The 3Ps all collapse, but thankfully, Phoebe gets within Useful Kicking distance and takes Blatant Admirer out.
The 3Ps run to the attic. Phoebe starts flipping through the Book of Shadows, wondering why their mother would give their powers away. She quickly locates a “to unbind a bond” spell and Prue says they don’t have time for anything else. Phoebe recites the spell: the bond which was not to be done, gives us the power to see it undone and turn back time to when it was begun. They get spirited away by a bunch of twinkly lights and then deposited right back in the attic.
Piper and Phoebe volun-tell Prue to go explore. Prue sneaks out of the attic and sees Grams downstairs, answering the phone. The baby versions of her and Piper run by. She sneaks back into the attic and tells her sisters what she saw.
I AM THE SAHN.
OH MY GOSH, our establishing shots this episode are of the ’70s. Pretty much all of the ’70s. In the attic, Piper asks how they can be sure they are back in time. Prue points out the typewriter, 8-tracks and a pet rock. Phoebe can’t find their time traveling spell in the Book of Shadows, because it hasn’t been invented yet. Even though they are kind of screwed, Prue says it’s better than being dead.
Prue wants to go downstairs and just explain to Grams about being from the future but Phoebe and Piper think that’s too crazy. They agree that they need another plan, but first they need to get out of the house. Downstairs, Grams is on the phone with Patty, their mom. Piper has the bright idea to pick up the upstairs phone and listen in, but then she just starts talking while on the phone. Yes, her hand is over the receiver but no, her hand isn’t sound proof. Anyway, their momma is saying she’s been feeling nauseous and also she had a premonition even though that isn’t her power. (‘Cause pregnant with Phoebe, get it? And she’s sending her mom premonitions FROM THE WOMB. VIA THE UMBILICAL CORD OR SOMETHING. Did Piper freeze time from the womb? Where Prue’s baby hiccups telekinesis Patty’s organs?) She saw three girl warlocks taking away her daughters.
Downstairs, the girls are about to sneak out but they see Baby!Prue and Baby!Piper run by. In order to stop Baby!Piper, Baby!Prue squints at a little couch and pushes it toward the door. B!Piper says that isn’t fair and the girls are shocked that they had powers back then. Unable to resist, the girls go investigate. Baby!Prue and Prue hug, but they are discovered by Grams. I’m not sure what they thought would happen. Grams says, “warlocks-be-gone!” and the 3Ps are whisked away on some of the worst Bad Special Effects wind I’ve ever seen.
Outside, the girls run away as they talk about how scary Grams is. Phoebe picks up a newspaper and sees that they’ve been sent back to the very day Patty made the pact with Blatant Admirer. They have to find their mom and stop the pact. Since she’ll be on the look-out for three warlocks, they figure only two of them should approach her. Phoebe volunteers to sit out since she doesn’t have any powers she can show as proof of their story. Her sisters feel bad for her, but Phoebe insists she’s fine.
Diner. Piper and Prue are seated and watch their mom serve Cokes in slow motion. Phoebe watches sadly from a window. Inside, Piper and Prue decide that when Patty comes to take their order, Piper will freeze the place, proving to Patty that they are good witches. Except when Patty comes over they are completely shocked.
Patty takes a call from Grams who tells her about the “warlocks” who were trying to steal her kids. Patty says she’s on her way home. Outside, she runs right into Phoebe who smiles at her kind of creepily. This casting is pretty cool because Finola Hughs has teeth that kind of look like Alyssa Milano’s. Maybe I’m just making that up.
They chat for a bit right up until an officer comes over to ask if everything is okay. It’s the Blatant Admirer. Patty says all is well and leaves. Phoebe stops Blatant from going after her using some Very Useful Kicks and she throws his keys away from him. She runs inside and warns her sisters about Blatant, so they run.
The 3Ps make their way back to the Halliwell Manor, wondering again what they are going to do against Blatant since they are powerless. Phoebe says they technically still have their powers if they count Baby!Prue and Baby!Piper. They sneak back inside the house. Phoebe is posted as lookout again while Piper and Prue run off to find themselves.
They find them in the living room fighting over a toy.
Baby!Prue has the most gorgeous blue eyes. They turned green when she became Shannen Doherty. Anyway, the Big P’s tell the Little P’s that they are family and totally not bad people.
Phoebe is still eavesdropping as Patty says that Papa Halliwell wants to meet with her. Grams is heartily against it.
Downstairs, Prue and Piper are trying to convince their adorable baby counterparts to trust them. Unfortunately, a little boy in a cowboy outfit runs in and yells, “freeze!” So Baby!Piper freezes time. Phoebe runs in to tell them Patty and Grams are coming, but she finds her sisters frozen. Luckily, Patty breezes on by and out the door. B!Piper unfreezes time and the Big Ps grab the Little Ps and run out. Also the little cowboy is Andy. Grams finds Baby!Andy and unfreezes him. Baby!Andy says the bad ladies took the Ps and Grams only has enough time to run out and see them speeding away in her car.
At the park, the Big P’s are going over the plan with the Little P’s. When Blatant Admirer shows up, B!Piper is going to freeze him and B!Prue is going to telekinesis him. They practice on a rubber ball right in the middle of a park in broad daylight and then the babies run off to go play. Piper and Prue wonder at how much power and control the little ones have. Then Phoebe has feels about going back to their own time where their mom is dead.
A couple police cruisers pull up in the background. Because kidnapping. Grams actually called the police!
Patty goes to visit Papa Halliwell, but it’s a trap and she finds Blatant Admirer instead. I He handcuffs her so she can’t freeze time which is still as dumb as when we first heard about it. Blatant Admirer makes her blood boil and I don’t really know what else he’s doing as the soap opera acting overwhelms my screen. Point is: he wanted her powers at first before he realized that she’s the mother of the Charmed Ones, ’cause she’s pregnant, see? Even figured it out as he tapped into her, “I’m sick to my stomach and suddenly having premonitions” phone call.
Blatant takes out his Bad News Ring. Patty begs him not to hurt her kids and he says there’s another option as he opens his eyes real big and lifts up his hand in a way I cannot even begin to describe. Patty falls asleep. Maybe she’s just resigned, but it might’ve seemed like a good time for a nap.
The 3Ps are in jail but Phoebe thinks the bright side of being stuck in the past is that they may get to spend some time with their mom. From jail?
Patty comes to see the P’s.
Phoebe says they are her daughters.
Patty bails them out of jail and they have their touching moment outside of the station, complete with tinkly music and tears. That all done, Prue explains that they are there to stop her from making a pact with Blatant Admirer. Patty says they are too late then and explains what happened. She gave Blatant immunity to their powers to buy them time to consult Grams and find another solution. They hug and cry some more.
Back at the Manor, Grams quizzes them until she’s satisfied they are who they say they are. She says that she can bind their powers until they find a way to break the pact. The Ps realize this is what she did and why they have no recollection of ever having their powers. Grams figures out that she died before she had a chance to break the pact, meaning that the bind was automatically undone. Except not, because we see in the Pilot that they got their powers because Phoebe said the thing.
Phoebe wants to take this chance to tell Patty that she dies too, but Grams stops her. They can’t know too much about the future. She says other #deep things about changing the past and how difficult it is. Patty says the only way to break the pact is to unbless the ring she gave Blatant. The 3Ps offer to go steal the ring while Grams writes a spell to get them back home.
Hotel. Phoebe and Prue break into the hotel room and steal the ring. That was easy.
We cut to the attic and the 3Ps returning with the ring. Grams is going to send them back to their time and then break the pact. While she’s explaining, Phoebe is lurking in the background writing a note, warning her mother about her untimely death. She stuffs it away in the Book of Shadows.
Everyone says goodbye to each other. Phoebe hugs Patty and says she’ll miss her, causing Patty to widen her eyes a bit all, “seriously. WTF.”
Grams says the spell but nothing happens, so Patty holds her hand and repeats it. The Tinkly Magic Sparkles wrap them up and send them away. And then they just reappear again. Grams and Patty argue lightly and decide there isn’t enough power behind their spell. Piper says maybe they need the power of three, even though Phoebe said it by herself before. Phoebe says the only problem is that the power of three doesn’t exist yet. Because they forgot about the little versions of themselves? IDK. All I know is that it takes them until after a not!commercial break to reason that Baby!Piper and Baby!Prue have their powers and Phoebe is sending premonitions through her amniotic sac (or whatever) so technically the power of three does exist.
Blatant Admirer shows up throwing everyone back into a flurry of activity. Phoebe uses the chance to take her warning note out of the Book of Shadows, thinking better of it. Grams sends Blatant flying with magic but Prue sends her back to the attic, saying she and Phoebe will deal with him. Phoebe kicks him the face. I don’t know if we’re going to have to start considering kicking this show’s face punching.
In the attic, Patty practices the spell with Baby!Prue and Baby!Piper. Prue and Phoebe make it back into the attic. Grams is explaining that they won’t know if the unblessing of the ring worked until they are back. Phoebe snaps a picture of her mom. They all say goodbye again and Patty says the spell again with the Baby P’s.
The 3Ps end up back in their attic in their time. The run toward the Book of Shadows and start searching for a vanquishing spell. Blatant busts in, but their powers work now so Prue squints at him and Piper freezes him. Phoebe finds a nice, “get rid of Blatant Admirer” spell, courtesy of Grams. She recites it and Blatant is engulfed in bad special effects, leaving his Bad News Ring behind.
The episode wrap-up consists of Phoebe having more feelings about having had so little time with her mom. She tells her sisters about the note she left and promptly took back. They also find the picture Phoebe hastily snapped in the attic. No word on why if they presumably unblessed the ring and everything, Grams still bound their powers. Wouldn’t have all of that changed? Unless Grams thought to still do it for consistency in the timelines.
Of course, that is probably way, way, way too much thought for an episode of Charmed.
Next time on Charmed:Prue tries to help a warlock trying to escape his evil brothers in S01 E18 – When Bad Warlocks Go Good.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
