Previously: A vindictive asshat who should definitely not be allowed around teenagers forced Jack to read a sort-of gay sounding poem he wrote, which led to Jack crying in front of the whole class. Then Pacey spat in the teacher’s face and got suspended.
—
…That Is The Question
Kirsti: Shrine o’ Spielberg. Pacey’s watching Jerry Maguire as Dawson walks in carrying homework. It seems that Pacey’s been hanging out at Leery Manor every day so that his douchey father doesn’t know he got suspended. Um. Do they not inform your parents of suspensions in America, or is this a TV Land thing??
Democracy Diva: Oh, I thought he was just avoiding his douchey father’s rage, but that Douchey Father did know about the suspension. If not, then yeah, that’s definitely just a TV Land thing.
K: CONFUSION.
Anyway, Pacey asks after Jack and Joey, but it’s all a ploy to find out how Andie is. Dawson tells him to suck it up and apologise to her, but Pacey says he was standing up for what he believed in, just like Jerry Maguire. Dawson points out that Jerry Maguire lost everything but still didn’t have to sleep on his best friend’s floor. “Joey gets the bed…” Pacey grumbles, but Dawson’s all “NO HOMO” because if this show were set in 2014, he’d be wearing a fedora.
I DON’T WANNA WAIT.
After the credits, Jen and Ty facenom outside school. Dawson giggles at them, and Jen probably says words but I’m distracted by the fact that she’s apparently styled her hair by sticking her finger in a socket:
Diva: Worst her hair has ever looked. But at least now I understand the inspiration for Cyrus’s current hairstyle on Season 4 of Scandal.
K: A+, girl.
Jen invites Dawson to go out with her and Ty that night, and assures him that it won’t be a Bible party. Inside, Joey’s rummaging through her locker. She asks Jack to hold some stuff for her, and a jock’s all “Nice purse, McPhee“. Jack turns to Joey and jokingly suggests that they have sex in the middle of the lawn to stop the rumours. She smirks, then sighs after he’s headed to class. Dawson walks up and asks if she wants to join the Not Bible Party that night. She says she and Jack are supposed to study together. He suggests that maybe she and Jack should do something fun and possibly romantic, and she’s a little shocked that Dawson would deign to think of someone other than himself. He’s kind of shocked too.
Cranky Teacher’s class. He’s less than thrilled to see Pacey back in his classroom. Pacey offers up all the homework assignments that he’s missed, and Cranky Teacher sasses as he hands Pacey’s poem back with an F grade. Pacey asks what was wrong with it, and Cranky Teacher replies “In my educated editorial opinion? It stunk.” Okay, this is NOT a legit reason for failing someone’s assignment. Did they complete the assignment? Does it fit within the marking rubric? If no, then fail them. If yes? You’re just being a douche. For God’s sake, I once got a B+ in English for writing a limerick about my farting dog (opening lines? “There once was a dog named Jiz [her name was Jizba, and she was a guide dog puppy, we did NOT name her OMG], and her bum it went fizz fizz”). If I can get a B+ for that shit, Pacey Witter does not deserve an F for writing a poem about a sports car.
Diva: You should have gotten an A+ and a 1430 for that limerick. It sounds AMAZING.
K: Thank you for appreciating 12 year old Kirsti’s shitty attempts at poetry.
Pacey asks for advice on how to improve, and the response is “Write better“. Cranky Teacher goes on to say that all their grades will be dependent on his whims and personal taste and OH MY GOD I WANT TO KILL THIS MAN. People like this should not be allowed to be teachers. This, America, is what happens when your teachers aren’t required to have a degree in teaching or education.
Diva:
K: At lunch, Pacey bitches to Dawson about Cranky Teacher. Andie walks in, notices them, and sits at another table. Pacey sighs. Dawson’s all “DUDE. USE YOUR WORDS”, but no. Andie should apparently be making the first move. Across the room, Joey hands Jack a menu and says she’s cooking him a romantic dinner. He’s all “Awww, you’re perfect”. She grins happily and kisses him on the cheek. He looks worried once she can’t see. Pacey cracks and goes to talk to Andie. It rapidly turns into an argument about which one should be apologising to the other. She storms out.
In the hall, Jack asks what the argument was about. She has no time for such sibling worries because she has a meeting with the guidance counsellor. He looks concerned, and she says it’s just because he’s been asking questions about their mother recently. But Jack’s concerned because that’s exactly where he’s going: the guidance counsellor wants to see them together. They walk into his office to find a grey-haired man in a suit there. “Daddy!” Andie squeals and rushes into his arms. Jack, in contrast, is nervous and standoffish. His father stares at him coldly over Andie’s shoulder. Fade to black.
After the Not Commercial Break, Joey’s prepping for her romantic dinner. The phone rings, and Jack apologetically asks for a raincheck because Jerky McPhee (D: LOL, new favorite nickname) wants to take him and Andie to dinner. Joey is mopey but understanding. After she hangs up, she stares at her dressy reflection in the mirror, then picks up the phone and calls Dawson. Cut to them joining Ty and Jen at the Not Bible Jazz Club. They order drinks, then Ty jumps up on stage to accompany his jazz singing lady friend. The gang are all “Wow. Did NOT see that coming…”
Dawson stops to marvel at the weirdness of he and his love triangle sitting at a bar together, especially when he’s the only one who’s single. I laugh because he deserves to be. Jen points out that her boyfriend is a God-botherer, and Joey says hers might be gay. Everyone giggles. Cut to Pacey at the public library. The librarian shows him where the local bylaws (including those for teaching) are situated because our beloved intern is on a mission. He sighs when he sees how many books there are to search through. Excuse me while I hug Google forever.
Diva: We are big fans of books, but researching via books instead of the internet is the absolute worst.
K: YUP. Sometimes I’m not quite sure how I survived undergrad.
McPhee Family Dinner. Andie gushes about their mother’s new medication and making honour roll, then tries to throw the conversation to Jack, but all he says is that everything’s fine. In true Traumaland fashion, Jerky McPhee takes the parent out of parenting by complaining about how he had to take time out of his busy schedule to deal with Jack’s current everyone-thinks-I’m-gay situation. Jerky asks straight out if Jack’s gay, because that’s totally a conversation to have in the middle of a restaurant. Jack asks if he’d care, and he replies “That’s not an answer and yes, I would. I think this family has enough problems. We don’t need to add to them.” I punch him in the face through my television.
Diva: I already had a Chris Pratt gif ready for this scene. I love when we gif the same, K.
K: SNARK LADY MINDMELD!
He coldly says that Jack can’t hide behind Tim any more. Andie tries to step in, but Jerky won’t have a bar of it. He basically says that being gay is a choice and Jack should stop putting extra burdens on his family by just deciding to be straight. Andie tears up as Jack nods sadly. I stop to have a lot of feels for these fictional characters but also the millionty kids who are still put through the same bullshit today.
Diva: My feels can be summed up thusly:
K: Back at the bar, Joey and Dawson are slow dancing. He’s glad she’s there and says Jack’s missing out. She asks if he thinks Jack’s gay, and he’s all “IDK, maybe?”. He asks what she thinks, and she’s not sure because she doesn’t know him as well as she knows Dawson. Back at the table, Jen and Ty watch them dancing, and Ty turns out to be a homophobic asshat. Jen’s all “Totally not a choice…” but Ty insists that it’s a decision. Jen’s all “THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU”, because she’s awesome.
Diva: Agreed. It’s not easy for a 16-year-old in the late 90s to articulate exactly what’s wrong with Ty’s homophobic bullshit, but Jen is just overwhelmingly amazing.
K: Jen is just the best, despite her terrible hair.
Jack’s Incredibly Plaid Bedroom. Andie walks in and says that Jerky shouldn’t have said those things but also they need to cut him some slack because abandoning your teenage children and their mentally ill mother is hard, yo. They need to make him see that they need to be together as a family. Jack’s all “Hahahahaha, NOPE” because he can’t keep dumping his achievements in Jerky’s lap and hoping for crumbs of approval. Andie says there’s nothing wrong with wanting her father to be proud of her. Jack agrees, but suggests that maybe, just maybe, she should be proud of Jerky McPhee too. Andie looks thoughtful.
Chez Grams. Grams makes Ty a sandwich as Jen glowers. Ty’s all “Ohhh, you’re pissed about me thinking it’s wrong to be gay? LET ME MAKE IT WORSE!”. He flat out says that he thinks it’s wrong to be gay, and asks Grams to back him up with Bible verses. Jen tells Grams to stay out of it. Ty says that he may not be a saint, but he knows he’ll have to answer to God one day. He thinks anyone who’s not straight is “damaging to the world at large“. I throw up in my mouth a little.
Diva: My response was mostly this:
K: Grams tries to intervene, but Jen tells her to back down. Grams won’t though, because she’s about to open a can of whoop ass on Ty. She says that if Jack IS gay, what he needs most is love and compassion because he’s probably terrified, and it’s not the place of douchey 16 year old Jesus freaks to judge him. Jen’s face goes from “Ugh, no” to “OMG BEST DAY EVER” as Grams speaks. When Grams drops the mic, Jen stands and joins her in judgey staring at Ty.
Across the creek, Dawson walks Joey to her door and asks if she’s okay. Nope. Apparently going to the Not Bible Jazz Club just made her more miserable. She invites him in, and asks if she’s sexual. Because Jack’s always kept his distance and she wonders if maybe he chose her because she’s a safe, non-sexual option while he works out some stuff. Dawson scoffs and tells her that she’s amazingly sexual in everything she does. I…….am choosing to shelve this comment right next to Xander’s “I’m seventeen. Looking at linoleum makes me want to have sex” because I don’t know what else to do with it other than be kind of grossed out because there’s clearly an Awkward Dawson Boner going on.
Diva: Us, every single time Dawson and Joey start to talk about sex:
K: SO MUCH OMG.
Dawson tells Joey that the real question isn’t why did Jack choose her. It’s why did she choose Jack.
Capeside High, Employer of Shitty Teachers. Pacey’s there bright and early to see the principal. He presents her and her terrible eyebrows with a report he’s prepared on all the ways that Cranky Teacher is breaking the ethical bylaws for teachers. She sasses about giving Cranky Teacher detention, and Pacey coldly informs her that he has testimonies from over 20 other students backing up his information, and he plans on giving it to the school board when they meet in a few days. He apologises for going around her, but he had to do whatever he could under the circumstances.
McPhee Mansion of Sadness and Lies. Jerky McPhee informs Andie that he has to go because business trumps family, and hands her some phone numbers for nursing companies to help out with her mother. He says he’ll be back in a few weeks, and Jack appears to coldly tell him not to bother. Jerky McPhee is all “HOW VERY DARE YOU” and goes to storm out. But Jack gets between him and the door, yelling tearfully that he can’t run away from this conversation the way he’s run away from his dead son and his mentally ill wife and his pill popping bipolar daughter. “You want to resolve this? Then you ask me again,” he snaps.
Jerky insists that Jack isn’t gay, but Jack shouts that he is. He breaks down as he says that Jerky’s known for ages, it showed in the way he treated Tim compared to Jack. Jerky’s tried to ignore it and stamp it out, and Jack’s tried even harder because he doesn’t want to burden his family. He sinks down on the stairs, sobbing, and says “I can’t try any more because it hurts.” Andie breaks down and rushes over to him as Jack apologises:
Diva: BRB, sobbing for eleven hours.
K: Jerky orders them to stop crying. Andie yells at him to GTFO, and Jack looks at her in awe. Jerky slams the door behind him, and Jack starts sobbing all over again.
At school later, Jack asks Joey if they can talk later that night. She’s all perky, thinking he wants to cash in his romantic dinner raincheck. He kisses her awkwardly and puts on a happy face until she’s gone. At Cranky Teacher’s classroom, the gang find a note on the door telling them to report to study hall in the library. Jack pulls Pacey aside and thanks him. Pacey grins and says he’s welcome, and Jack looks a little happier about life in general.
Down the hall, Pacey finds Cranky Teacher sitting alone in a classroom and walks in, closing the door behind him. Cranky Teacher says he’s leaving – he won’t give the school board the chance to tell him about all the things he’s done wrong in the past 30 years. Pacey’s shocked, and Cranky Teacher says he was planning on retiring at the end of the school year anyway. Pacey apologises, but Cranky Teacher replies “That stunt that you pulled was one of the most admirable moments in your life. Don’t ruin it with an apology.”
Pacey’s incredulous when Cranky Teacher says Pacey was supposed to learn from him. “I have learned, sir. I’ve learned that respect is not commanded through fear. It’s earned through compassion.” Cranky Teacher picks up his things and heads to the door, but he’s got to get the last word in before he does: he asks why he should respect Pacey when Pacey’s responsible for ending his career, an act completely devoid of compassion. Pacey heaves a “well, shit” sigh as Cranky Teacher leaves. Sorry not sorry, Cranky Teacher:
Chez Grams. Ty turns up and asks to be forgiven. Jen says it’s not going to work between them because they’re too different and she can’t get past his insane homophobia. He asks her to teach him new ways, that he’s done being narrow-minded. Bitch, please. He asks if her liberal views are equally open-minded, and says they should just see what happens next. Jen smiles at him, and DUDE NO. Trust your gut and dump this asshat immediately…
Diva: I can’t even believe Ty’s plot line isn’t over yet. We were against his stalkery ways from the beginning, and now we know he’s also homophobic and hypocritical. Also, I had no idea we were supposed to find him charming until Jen was all, “well, you’ve got charm, dontcha?” Sorry, is that charm? I must have confused it with creepy douchery.
K: Agreed. Outside school, Pacey and Andie apologise to each other and then rapidly switch back to their good old fashioned bickering. They apologise for real as the Tinkly Orchestra tinkles and it’s adorable and they kiss. Look, just have the whole thing in gif form, okay?
He can’t stand the thought of losing her as a friend, but he doesn’t want to hurt her. She thanks him for his honesty, and he takes her hand. A typical late 90s soppy female singer-songwriter thing starts playing as we cut to Jack walking in the front door of the McPhee Mansion of Sadness and Lies to find Andie eating dinner. She walks over to him and hugs him, and I HAVE HAYFEVER DAMMIT. The song continues as we head over to the Shrine o’ Spielberg where Dawson is watching movies alone. Joey climbs in the window and he stares at her for a second before she breaks down and starts crying into his chest. Dawson holds her as we fade to black.
Holy crap, there was a lot going down in that episode. There were parts that were heavy handed and/or horrifically 90s. But given the time, this was some pretty revolutionary television. Will & Grace was still in its first season, Queer as Folk (the UK version) was about to start airing, and over in Sunnydale we had Doppelgangland and jokes about how Vampire!Willow was “kinda gay“. So for this often cheese-tastic and terribly written slut-shaming riddled show to deal reasonably well with coming out, not only from the perspective of the person having in question but also the reactions of their friends, family members, homophobic acquaintances and hetero-partners? It’s kind of astonishing…
Diva: Congrats, show – you did something non-Pacey-related that we actually liked! It’s a miracle!
K: Now watch as they inevitably erode it all in the very next episode!
Next time on Dawson’s Creek: Dawson’s turning sixteen. It’s bound to end well. Find out more in S02 E16 – Be Careful What You Wish For.
I'm a 30-something librarian and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. Leader of Team Heartless Cow. I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and read more than is good for me.
I'm a J.D. by day/blogger by night who directs her snark and judgment primarily towards celebrities and their many red carpet mishaps. Blogging from the style capital of the world (just kidding - I live in DC), I rant and rave over the best and worst in fashion and pop culture.
