Previously: Annalise defended HBIC Celia Hodes and off in the future present day hard asses Michaela and Connor fall apart under the weight of murdery bonfires.
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We’re Not Friends
Sweeney: Improbable Bonfire. Dumbledore’s Army: Murder Unit (D: A+) jumps from being with the body and its pool of blood on the floor to being out in the woods – basically this is the bridge between the Grimmauld Place scenes and the woodsy Lying Liar Coin Toss. Up the hill from where they’re lying low, two people are about to hook up – it’s implied that they’re a cheatery secret couple and needing to hook up with people in the miserable freezing cold is a great argument in favor of fidelity – but they stop when they hear a phone ringing. They leave rather than investigate, because nobody’s trying to get murdered investigating shady noises in the woods. (M: Not even for sex.) Laurel silences her phone very slowly (gotta get those texting gloves, girl!) and Michaela starts whisper yelling at her for telling Frank all of this. Laurel insists that Frank is just calling because she slept with him, not because she told him about the murdering. Laurel tells Michaela she’s not sharing any additional details because, “We’re Not Friends.”
Since I assume this is about to be her back story episode, this is totally in the true spirit of the star! Congrats on this well-earned star, Laurel.
Connor wants to know if Laurel slept with Frank while still dating the awesome Kan and indeed she did. I hope she didn’t have to go out in the cold woods like those other people. Or maybe I hope she did. That should be your punishment, Laurel. She tells them that all of their judgment needs to take place while they are also carrying the body.
Marines: A fantastic reminder that they all just fell all the way down on the judgement ladder. Spit up at your own risk, guys.
Democracy Diva: Amen. Every single one of these people could use a good reminder that they’re the worst.
Sweeney: LOL Law School. Laurel is answering a question in class and Annalise chastises her for answering her question in a show-offy manner. I mean, you five are the only ones who get to answer questions anyway so it doesn’t really matter how well you answer, Laurel. Laurel stands up for herself, insisting that she wasn’t showing off, but bringing up a relevant example. Annalise offers the next question to a Mr. Johanson, but we cut away before he can answer. We never knew thee, Mr. Johanson.
Diva: I’m going to get indignant on behalf of these unseen other students during every episode. DON’T JUST CALL ON THE GUNNERS, ANNALISE. The rest of us are people too.
Diva: Of course. Obviously a married professor is incapable of exercising enough self-control to NOT fuck his student, because of her magical vagina powers.
Sweeney: Sam says that Lila was just lost and Annalise says that’s how he found her and that Sam likes his mistresses weak and broken. He says they weren’t like that and she says he should tell it to his first wife. He gets close and she tells him not to touch her. She starts shouting at him and we see Paris Geller at the bottom of the stairs wondering what’s going on. Annalise shouts at Sam to get out, throwing pillows at him. He goes and has an awkward silent exchange with Paris Geller before he leaves the house entirely.
Wes insists to Annalise that “introducing a new suspect” was literally the beginning of How to Get Away with Murder 101, but Annalise lies that she’s just not sure if this will do that. Wes presses and she cuts him off telling him that what he doesn’t understand is none of her concern. Except for the part where she’s supposed to be his professor so helping him understand stuff is actually her job. A barrage of questions is what happens when you staff your practice with baby law students, Annalise.
Diva: Yup. That’s what you get – lots of questions, and the violation of a bunch of different rules of professional responsibility that no one ever seems to care about.
Sweeney: MURDER CHALKBOARD.
12 Grimmauld Place. Client-of-the-week is a teenager sharing traumatic feels about his abusive cop father. The night Abusive Cop was killed, the son decided he’d had enough of watching him beat his mother (sitting here very sadly) so he went and got his father’s gun. The next thing he remembers is the warm gun on the floor and his father on the ground – relieved that his father wasn’t yelling. The son, Ryan, says that things are better now that he’s dead and he’s glad he shot him. I feel for him but also he’s a little crazy eyed when he says this. It’s making me really uneasy that this episode is going to spend a lot of time building up my domestic violence feels only to turn it on me in the end.
Mari: Innocent or guilty of the actual crime, this show likes its clients as crazy-eyed as possible. In slightly related news, I find myself only half interested in the case of the weeks. It’s turning very procedural.
Diva: I agree. Unless they feature Celia from Weeds or other beloved badass bitches, I’m not particularly interested.
Sweeney: This is a formal request from The Snark Ladies to phone Jenji Kohan for recommendations on future weekly clients.
Cut to later, with them gone, and Annalise explaining to her team that they’re not just fighting a murder charge but the cops who are using public sympathy to turn Ryan’s deep childhood trauma into Cop Killing Sociopath. Annalise says that they’re not going to win this on evidence, but on the emotions of the jury, making jury selection hugely important in this case.
Diva: That’s the other thing I hate about the cases of the week – they make it like each case is about a different method of lawyering, except that actually all of these methods are necessary in any case, and pretty much none of them are taught in 1L Criminal Law.
Sweeney: MONTAGE! We jump around from Grimmauld Place, to the courthouse where jury selection is taking place, to Annalise’s “class.” Annalise explains that jury selection is the art of human study. Michaela explains that their goal is get bias to swing in their favor, referencing studies of gendered trends in jury attitudes. Cut to a potential juror explaining that he’s heard that her client is a sociopathic cop killer. Or maybe he just didn’t feel like jury duty – I mean that guy had to know that answer would get him dismissed. Meanwhile, Annalise accepts a woman who is “happily divorced.” Additionally, in this case, they want people suspicious of authority. Connor helpfully offers that the black population in the United States is known to be suspicious of the police. Not that there’s cause for that mistrust or anything… (M: It’s just a black thing!) (D: It’s so weird when people get mad at the people who beat and murder them instead of protecting them!) We watch as the prosecution rejects black people and laps up old white people. As we rapid fire through the faces of the potential jurors, Annalise finishes, “12 complete strangers will make or break your case before you’ve said one word of your opening statement.”
In the courtroom, the final 12 are told not to discuss the case with anyone or seek out coverage. Careful, though, people might know anyway and harass you at work or vandalize your car. Wes notices that Laurel’s made a scorecard of the jurors – she whispers that they finally have a client she doesn’t hate. Of course, Asher’s all, “Really, the guy who shot his dad in the back?” After working at Litchfield, it’s to be expected that he has cop loyalties.
The prosecution moves to dismiss the mother’s testimony. Annalise points out that this is some last minute bullshit, adding that her evidence consists of the woman’s own testimony of her abuse as well as the three years of online journals that Ryan kept. Prosecution argues that that as Ryan’s mother, she has reason to lie for him and she never filed a report. The judge gives no shit about Annalise’s completely valid observation that she’d have had to file that report with her abusive husband’s drinking buddies. He grants the prosecution’s request. I let out a genuine, “HOLY SHIT,” when that happened. It had not occurred to me that this episode was also going to go there so quickly. Straight up silencing victims here, judge. Cool. Maybe it’s because I didn’t go to law school, but I am baffled by this. (D: Nope, it’s just because you didn’t go to the imaginary law school that only exists in Shonda Rhimes’s head.) Certainly the prosecution could challenge her on the stand and that would be gross to watch, but abuse is the kind of thing that’s difficult to procure hard evidence for so insisting that Annalise’s lack of hard evidence should get it barred from the case entirely is just insane and awful. Annalise’s rage and that poor mother’s tears agree. Laurel also looks like she might go murder someone herself. (M: Not yet, Laurel, but soon!)
Out in the halls, Frank rushes after Laurel to invite her to lunch. She’s horrified that he can think about food when their case just fell apart like that aaaand that Ryan’s about to “become somebody’s bitch boy” in prison, you know, because they have a Prison Rape Joke Quota to fill on this show. (M: 3 episodes in a row. Official drinking game material.) (D: Cosign.) She finishes her impassioned speech and sees that Ryan was standing right there listening. He says it’s fine, but not to tell his mother who still thinks there’s hope. Rough. Frank makes a suicide joke and leaves. Fuck that guy.
12 Grimmauld Place. Paris Geller is handing out headshots of the jurors (Is this a thing? Does jury duty include a group field trip to the mall to get airbrushed glamour shots?) (D: Yes, I believe I recall the hairspray-and-mascara portion of the jury voir dire process.) assigning a few jurors each for the students to observe to read their body language. Paris confirms that they can be tracked outside of court so long as there is no contact because that becomes jury tampering and occasionally they decide to follow laws. The sanctity of jury duty seems to be a popular one for people with Selective Law Abiding Syndrome.
Diva: SLAS is an epidemic of Ebola-like proportions in this universe.
Sweeney: Michaela suggests that this is all useless, given that the essential component of their defense was just destroyed. Annalise comes in to say that Ryan’s blog is potentially a Trojan Horse to get the abuse readmitted. She instructs them to stay up all night reading it so that they can find a way to get a witness to mention the blog on the stand, thereby admitting it as evidence.
Mari: It’s 800 posts. For their sake, I hope they aren’t Snark Squad-length.
Sweeney: In court the next day, the prosecution asks Ryan’s English teacher what she knew about his relationship with his father. She says they knew it was troubled after he sang a talent show song about shooting his dad. Welp, shit. Where were the school guidance counselors on this one? Regardless, Laurel finds the lyric in question in a post on Ryan’s blog, a few months prior to the talent show. Annalise uses that as her in: once the witness reads the post and confirms that it is the song in question, Annalise notes that it was first published there, making the entire blog admissible. Prosecution objects, noting that the judge already ruled on this, but Annalise said that was before the prosecution marched the abuse into the courtroom with their own witness. The judge agrees. FUCK YEAH! I still don’t understand (and therefore resent) your restricting it in the first place, but whatever.
Wes’s apartment. Rebecca comes pounding on his door to steal his pizza because she can’t leave the apartment without getting harassed. (D: You live in a city. Order some damn delivery and stop stealing people’s food.) Wes brings up the phone, but Rebecca already heard from Annalise that morning – she called to check up on her and mentioned that she’s not yet sure about using it as evidence. Then they have, “You don’t even know me!” banter that is standard for boring over hyped TV relationships. Rebecca says that she didn’t kill Lila but does like making people feel uncomfortable. (M: A+ work with the pizza stealing then, girl. I couldn’t focus on anything else.)
We cut to Annalise, drowning her feels in some Grey Goose. I appreciate whoever in the writer’s room was all, “We should probably shave a few pages off the scripts and leave more time for extended silent shots of Viola Davis emoting like a boss.”
Diva: Honestly, they could replace every case of the week with scenes of Annalise emoting, and this show would be better for it.
Sweeney: Fact.
Annalise ignores a call from Sam and continues to cry and flashback to his promises that there wasn’t anything going on with Lila and he only lied because he was afraid it would look suspicious. You know, like how lying looks.
Later she goes to Detective Abs, because when you think your husband murdered someone you level up from drunk texting your ex to a little light drunk stalking. He doesn’t want to talk to her because she got him fired, but Annalise is confused, insisting that she would never tell his boss about the fact that he was investigating Sam. Detective Abs doesn’t want to hear her defend herself because he lied too – he tells her about Sam driving back to town the night of Lila’s murder.
Mari: I’m not sure why Detective Abs lied in the first place, though I suspect it was just so he could have this zinger in his back pocket. He didn’t have to wait long to whip out the, “SO? YOUR HUSBAND IS A MURDERER.”
Sweeney: The lying was super weird and feels all the more contrived in light of the plot things it triggered.
DA: Murder Unit is starting their mini bonfire to torch Sam’s body when Laurel is about to ignore another call from Frank. They tell her that he’ll hear the fire in the background, thus strengthening their alibi. Uh, no. He might hear minimal flame crackles but what he absolutely won’t hear is the noise of half the student body out there with them. But whatever, Laurel answers. She doesn’t want to hear any more about how he lied to get her into bed. He begs, slightly crazed, insisting that he’ll do anything. “It’s too late,” Laurel says as she hangs up. BECAUSE I’M A MURDERER NOW, she adds in her head while staring broodily into the bonfire.
Main Timeline. Laurel is at the Legal Aid office talking to her boyfriend Kan about the case. At first he unhelpfully points out that maybe Ryan doesn’t deserve to be acquitted. He says that they can basically only win the case if they get the jury to disregard the law (like they do) and then they sort of discuss witness tampering and I don’t entirely follow the point of this conversation besides reminding us that the case is all about emotion.
12 Grimmauld Place. Annalise has called Paris Geller into her office, but she nonchalantly takes her sweet time before addressing her, because Annalise knows how to build anxiety. Paris Geller suggests that maybe this is about the fight she overheard, but Annalise says it is not. It’s about how she got Rebecca’s confession tape and how Sam got fired. Annalise tells her not to dare say she did it for her – “We both know what person in this house you did it for and it wasn’t me.” DAAAAMN. Even known HBIC Paris Geller is chastened and squirming. She apologizes. Annalise snarks, “Thank you for protecting my husband, though” and sends her off.
Diva: I love watching Paris Geller be a badass, but I also love watching her cower under the strength of Annalise’s badassery.
Sweeney: In court the next day, a cop co-worker of the deceased is insisting to the prosecution that his friend was a Good Guy and therefore couldn’t have ever hurt his wife. He says that he was very protective of his “fragile” wife and called her several times a day to check up on her. Like a controlling, abusive asshole. Very Christian Grey. I wonder if he emailed her excessively too.
Mari: And from the next room. Emails from someone in the next room are basically an admission of guilt.
Diva: Someone check his financial records and see if the cop purchased the company his wife works for!
Sweeney: 12 Grimmauld Place. Dumbledor’s Army banters about the jurors and how stressed they are and all the sex Connor’s having with guys on a faux-Grindr app. Michaela asks about “the hacker” and Connor reiterates the basic “we’re not friends” theme. Because they’re cutthroat competitors, guys. It’s like they didn’t even read the books. IF YOU WANT TO DEFEAT VOLDEMORT YOU HAVE TO WORK TOGETHER.
Mari:
Sweeney: Laurel goes to tell Frank that they need to tell the jury about nullification (the thing she was talking to Kan about) but he reminds her that Annalise would get disbarred if they did that. He teases her and she says she cares about this case because she wants to feel like they’re doing something good for once. Frank gives her I LOVE YOU face.
Back in the living room, Connor is elated that he finally got a message from “Lumberjack,” one of the jurors he’s been stalking on fake Grindr, trying to get him to out himself. Bleeergh. I just want Connor to be able to contribute in a way that isn’t about his gayness. This show is quickly approaching a really essentializing tactic with Connor, where the fact that he fucks men is presented as very nearly the entirety of his character. 100 points to Gryffindor for this show’s super steam gay sex scenes on a broadcast TV show. Awesome. Love it! But when your only prominent gay character is also written principally as being about his sexuality, you start to lose some of those points. One episode. All I ask for is one episode where his major contribution isn’t, “Hey, Horny Gay Man, here!”
Diva: +1 to all of that.
Sweeney: Anyway, in court the next day, Lumberjack is getting read some really awful, “COP KILLERS SHOULD DIE!” stuff that he wrote to “8isgreat” on Fake Grindr even though talk about the case outside the court was forbidden. No mention of how the legal team interacting with jurors is illegal, but through some sorcery, I guess that detail was omitted. Lumberjack is dismissed as a juror. Alternate Juror #1, a minority woman, is called up. Wes asks Laurel about her scorecard and she says they have half at best.
With that, Annalise hands it over to the prosecution. Prosecutor asks if she was under imminent threat at the time of the murder? Was a gun pointed at her head? No. Did her son fire a shot from his father’s service revolver into his unarmed father’s back? Yes, she answers and the prosecution has no further questions. More anxious closeups.
Diva: Legal tangent: there’s a defense called battered spouse’s syndrome that has allowed some women to claim self-defense even when not under imminent threat at the time, because they have been so horrifically abused by their partner for so long that the only time they can fight back without being killed is when their partners are unarmed or asleep. I’m not sure it would be transferrable to the son, especially when there isn’t physical evidence of a pattern of extreme abuse, but this would have been the first argument the students thought of. And it’s something that is actually taught in 1L Criminal Law. So, of course, it was omitted from the episode entirely.
Sweeney: Naturally. Best to build your plot with the least possible regard for How Things Would Actually Happen.
In the murdery future, Michaela is frantically and hysterically searching for her ring that she definitely had when they left the house. The others argue about their varying levels of annoyance with her and nobody seems to point out the obvious fact that this is less about having her engagement ring than the fact that it could be seriously incriminating. Connor is particularly annoyed when Laurel points out that Michaela is in no state to return the trophy to Asher. “We all had to do things we didn’t want to do tonight – this one is on her.” Laurel volunteers. She doesn’t know how she’ll do it, but she’ll figure it out.
Closing Arguments. Annalise tells the jury that what is right is about what you know in your bones. The prosecution insists that this about the law, reminds them about the lack of imminent threat. Annalise implores them to not make protecting someone you love a crime.
The gang rechecks Laurel’s scorecard. She says that optimistically they have nine at this point. Asher says it’s a hung jury at best and Ryan’s off to jail.
Legal Aid. It’s dark and Laurel is there alone. Kan comes to tell her that it’s late and they should go out. She says that she’s got a ton of other work to do but promises to call him when she leaves. She’s super shady about her laptop though and she quickly lifts the screen back up when he leaves and prints stuff. Later, we see her back at the courthouse anxiously guarding her bag and sipping some coffee. She sees a juror entering and casually leaves a packet that says “Jury Nullification” on a bench and leaves. Around the corner she watches as the juror sits down on that bench and picks up the packet.
Frank sees her and asks what she did, saying that she’s an idiot and he’ll have to tell Annalise about this. Laurel gives no fucks and says he can tell her she was showing off. As far as I can tell, doing highly illegal stuff is how you show off to Annalise and win her favor.
Mari: Good point. My initial reaction was, “OMG. SO DUMB.” I see where I was mistaken.
Sweeney: The more you know, Mari. The more you know.
Back at Grimmauld Place, Frank lies that he doesn’t know who did it and Annalise calls him on the lie, saying he can tell her that he’d rather not say but she’s totally over men lying to her. (But also people who live in glass houses of lies should probably not throw liar stones, girl.) Frank says that he’s not an officer of the court and she doesn’t have to report what she doesn’t know. Annalise thinks for a second and then says that’s exactly what he has to do – she wants him to tell the DA that the jury has been tampered with.
In court the next day, there is some bickering over whether the defense tampered but Annalise reminds the judge that there is no evidence. The jury is called in and asked if anyone spoke to them about the case, specifically about Jury Nullification. The woman stands up and confesses that she found information – though there is no clarification about how – that they could vote their hearts and that she shared that information with the other jurors. With that, the judge declares a mistrial. Annalise is relieved and the prosecution is upset.
Later, everyone waits around for Annalise and Paris Geller spots Frank making moony eyes at Laurel. He tries to play it off but she’s not having that.
Mari: More of those stones there, Paris Geller. You are no stranger to moony eyes.
Diva: Worth it for the gif, though, which I plan on using in many, many future Snark Squad posts.
Sweeney: Agreed. My thoughts exactly.
Annalise informs them that due to the abuse defense, the DA no longer thinks he’s a sociopath and has bumped the case to juvenile court – the sentence will be more along the lines of probation, community service, and counseling. Ryan’s in disbelief and his mother is in tears. D’aww.
Even Asher’s got the feels:
I know this section here is obscenely gif heavy, BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE. Asher notices Connor’s bewildered stare and makes this face:
OK, I’m done now. Frank makes more lovesick puppy faces at Laurel’s happy feels. Don’t worry, that’s not gif-worthy. (M: Frank usually isn’t.)
12 Grimmauld Place. Annalise saves her heavy marital conversations for the final 10 minutes of the episode. She’s sitting on the steps when Sam returns. She asks him outright if he was at Yale when Lila was murdered. He came back because Lila was upset. He comforted her and then returned to his hotel by morning. Annalise points out the problematic fact that he was in Philadelphia when she was killed, regardless of whether he did it. Sam says he’s sorry for the affair and the lying, but he didn’t kill her.
Annalise says that Rebecca is on her way over, ostensibly to undergo a psych evaluation but it’s actually to determine whether she recognizes his face. Sam points out that this is totally not a good idea, but she’s there and it’s episode climax time. You can’t resist the plot roller coast, Sam. Rebecca shakes Sam’s hand and asks if they can get this over with.
In his office he asks about how she’s likely to be received by the press. Rebecca rattles off a list of reasons why she’s not an inherent media darling. He realizes that she’s been evaluated before. “Juvie,” she answers by way of explanation. They cut to the chase. Rebecca explains that she and Lila met at the bar – Lila was “a spoiled sorority girl, looking for a thrill.” She wanted to help Rebecca deal. We pan up and see a camera – Annalise is recording this conversation. Very Veronica Mars of you, both for the tech and the dubious ethics.
Sam asks about how Rebecca got the phone. Her eyes narrow a bit and she says that Lila just left the phone. All she know about the guy was that Lila was infatuated with him and called him “Mr. Darcy.” Which Rebecca found supremely annoying. Me too, girl. The interrogation continues, and basically Rebecca doesn’t admit to knowing it was Sam but there are a lot of, “I’m keeping stuff to myself on purpose,” looks.
Later, she tells Wes it was like being strip searched with words and excuses herself to the bathroom.
Annalise reiterates the “she doesn’t know” bit, but all she knows for sure is that Sam’s a liar who will be sleeping on the couch. This episode has taught me a lot about how being a good person means you get a bed and that’s a really powerful incentive.
In the murder timeline, Laurel knocks on an apartment. It’s not Asher’s though – it’s Frank’s. She’s not there to talk so much as remind him about how he promised to do anything for her. Her face is looking suuuper chapped from the cold. If she were a better person she would have been home in bed and not out in the cold getting her skin all wrecked. Anyway, she takes out the trophy and tells him that she needs his help.
Mari: UM. QUESTIONABLE DECISION IS QUESTIONABLE. I mean, Laurel’s questionable decision in the Main Timeline worked out okay, but I don’t know about this one.
Diva: Also, everyone involved in the murder running to his or her significant other while still covered in dirt and blood, straight from the scene of the crime = THE OPPOSITE OF HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER.
Sweeney: They probably should have completed the semester-long course before they dove into testing its lessons.
Back at Grimmauld Place she confronts him about not revealing her name. He says she wouldn’t be working here anymore if it wasn’t for him. She says that she wanted Annalise to know, on account of how much love Wes got for that time he impersonated a lawyer. Laurel angrily thanks him for protecting her and making her “Frank’s girl.” She says something about not wanting to screw him and he tries to say he’s not interested but can’t do it with a straight face. They make out, but she cuts it off because she’s got a boyfriend.
Filled with guilt, she marches over to Legal Aid where he’s alone and waiting to hear if she got a verdict. She cuts straight to the sex.
Wes’s apartment. He comes home and notices Rebecca’s door wide open. She goes inside and finds that she’s emptied her out her apartment. He calls her to ask what the fuck she’s doing. Rebecca asks if he knew that they were in on it and Wes is just confused. Rebecca tells him he can’t trust Annalise and to look at the wallpaper. Note to self: when redecorating, make sure I don’t get untrustworthy wallpaper. With that cryptic warning, she hangs up.
We get a zoomy shot of someone entering their house after Sam has fallen asleep. Upstairs, Annalise comes out of the bathroom, terrified, asking what the zoomy cameraman is doing there. It’s Wes, staring at the wallpaper, telling her that she lied to him. The dick pic was clearly taken there meaning that Sam is Mr. Darcy. Annalise looks heartbroken and terrified. She’s doing a lot of that it makes my heart hurt too.
END CREDITS.
I’m super glad the show didn’t pull a big! twist! with the abuse story. I was genuinely anxious about that and relieved that they didn’t. I realized belatedly that legal stuff I glossed over was actually important but also in the 1 in 3 episodes where the legal stuff is explained to me, I find that I was better off not knowing that everything was wrong, so there’s that. This episode was kind of #meh, in part for concentrating on Laurel, Wes, and Rebecca who are all characters that I want to like a lot more than I do and in all three cases, I think the actors are a big part of my lack of love. There’s nothing wrong with the characters, but they’re not compelling. That final scene with Rebecca was a high point for her, though I can’t explain why. That her deep paranoia came true and it was terrifying made her vulnerable in a way that finally made her someone I could maybe connect with, I guess? I’m not sure. Regardless, I’m looking forward to episodes that focus on, well, literally anyone but those three.
And now, some of the amazing lessons you all learned on Twitter:
Fifth week in a row we start at the bonfire. I guess this is definitely a thing now #howtosnark
— Ryan (@meatloafbandit) October 24, 2014
People still have their phones ring out loud? What is this, 2006? #howtosnark
— Ifeoluwa Olokode (@Ifeoluwahan) October 25, 2014
Huh. Well, this may be the first instance in which “Your husband is Mr. Darcy” is not a good thing. #howtosnark
— Katie (@purebrightfire) October 24, 2014
I really hope no one had sex in our clinic office in law school. I ate in there! Regularly! #HowToGetAwayWithMurder #howtosnark
— Democracy Diva (@democracydiva) October 24, 2014
Oh, so Connor really IS going to just flirt and/or fuck his way through every single case then. Are there exams for that? #HowToSnark
— Alex (@AlexTheAJ) October 24, 2014
Forget the murder, Rebecca deserves life imprisonment for just helping herself to two slices of someone else’s pizza #HowToSnark
— Alex (@AlexTheAJ) October 24, 2014
Why is the law office bathroom on the same floor as the living quarters?! You are laying down the welcome mat for eavesdroppers! #howtosnark
— Ifeoluwa Olokode (@Ifeoluwahan) October 25, 2014
Next time: How to Get Away With Murder S01 E06 – Freakin’ Whack-A-Mole.
Nicole is the co-captain of Snark Squad and these days she spends most of her time editing podcasts. She spends too much time on Twitter and very occasionally vlogs and blogs. In her day job she's a producer, editor, director, and sometimes host of educational YouTube channels. She loves travel, maps, panda gifs, and semicolons. Writing biographies stresses her out; she crowd sourced this one years ago and has been using a version of it ever since. She would like to thank Twitter for their help.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
I'm a J.D. by day/blogger by night who directs her snark and judgment primarily towards celebrities and their many red carpet mishaps. Blogging from the style capital of the world (just kidding - I live in DC), I rant and rave over the best and worst in fashion and pop culture.
