Dawson’s Creek S02 E21 – Needs more Bowie

Previously: The most awkward dinner of ever. Also, Andie went off the deep end and started seeing her dead brother everywhere.
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Ch…Ch…Ch…Changes

Kirsti: Shrine o’ Spielberg. We’re treated to like 20 seconds of Casablanca, which is clearly the best 20 seconds of this entire show, and then Dawson’s moping over having to write a final essay comparing his own life to Casablanca. Um…

He starts writing about how Hollywood Sabbatical is clearly evil and his archnemesis, then deletes it all because that won’t get him a good grade. He asks Joey why he still wants to please Hollywood Sabbatical, and she’s all “IDEK”. (D: Uh, because she’s your teacher? For a class that’s actually important to your hopeful career path?) She suggests he interview someone. He decides he’ll present his final on camera because that way he’ll get bonus points for thinking outside the box. And meanwhile, anyone who’s ever worked in education cringes at the thought of applying a written marking rubric to a video…

Democracy Diva: Ugh, Dawson, just write your stupid bullshit essay and stop making things difficult for teachers just so that we can contrive a problem that leads to the rest of this episode.

K: SERIOUSLY. And surely making a video is far more work than writing what’s probably a 1,500 word essay? This post is more than double that.

He turns the camera on her, saying that she’s been through a big character arc this year (fourth wall? What fourth wall?!) and she’d be perfect for his project. She LOL NOPES, wishes him good luck, and leaves. But, like, THROUGH THE DOOR WHAT.

Diva: I FREAKED OUT ABOUT THIS TOO. It’s almost like they’re normal human beings! (But still not really at all.)

K: I DON’T WANNA WAIT.

After the credits, Andie walks into the kitchen to find her dad there. She’s all “Didn’t we tell you to get the fuck out?” and he says that he’s there because he’s worried about her now that he’s heard she’s seeing dead people. Andie insists that she’s fine and that she doesn’t need him. Jack walks in and says he called Jerky McPhee because he was worried. Andie gets cranky despite Jack’s apologies. Jerky McPhee tells her to start packing because she needs constant supervision and it’s too much like hard work to adjust his life. He’ll contact the school and arrange for make up finals for her. “So we have no choice?” Andie snaps. Jerky’s all “NOPE”. Andie glares at Jack and storms off.

Capeside High. Dawson asks Jen to be his interviewee, and she’s all “DUDE NO” because talking about how shitty her life has been over the past year so that he can get credit for it is the Worst Idea Ever. Then she decides that talking about it would be a good idea. She melodramatically and tearfully says that she had no idea one little thing would start all this. Dawson looks intrigued and zooms in on her face. The little thing is cutting off her hair. She grins at Dawson and he looks pissed. LOL.

He tries Jack next, who’s also all “DUDE NO”, then Joey again. “Stalker paparazzi is not a flattering occupation, Dawson. Give it up,” she says before kissing him and walking away. Possibly one of the best things she’s said all season!

Diva: Also, something Katie Holmes will grow to understand in real life, once she makes the dubious decision to marry Tom Cruise.

K: Excellent point. Eventually he dredges the bottom of the barrel and asks his best friend. Pacey agrees to do it, and Dawson pulls him into a science lab to film. Pacey says that everything he achieved this year was because of Andie, and he wakes up every day expecting someone to expose him as a fraud. I have a lot of feels because Pacey’s a little teary. (D: When Pacey cries, the Snark Ladies cry too. This is just a law of nature.) Dawson shuts off the camera and asks if Pacey’s okay. He’s not – Andie gave him someone to be, and now, when she needs him most, there’s nothing he can do for her. He tearily tells Dawson to find himself another hero for his project and leaves.

Out in the hall, Pacey finds an upset Andie and asks what’s going on. She fills him in on the Going-Back-to-Providence plan and how angry she is about it. He suggests that she tell her dad to just get her the help she needs in Capeside, but no. Jerky McPhee is hella stubborn, so she may as well start packing. Pacey says they’ll fight him on this, but she sadly says that he wants to leave tomorrow. Pacey backs away from her, then says it’s fine and Jerky McPhee won’t be taking her anywhere. Fade to black.

After the Not Commercial Break, Jen and Jack are down by the water. He tells her about Jerky McPhee, and Jen insists he did the right thing and that maybe now Andie will get better and he’ll be able to reconcile with his homophobic father. Jack scoffs and asks if she’s going to stay at Leery Manor forever. She has no idea. He suggests she try reconciling with HER parents because she’s changed and maybe they have too. Jen looks thoughtful.

Icehouse. They’re doing a bunch of renovations and Dawson’s impressed by how good it looks. Joey’s gushy about how her dad’s turned into a responsible parent which is a sure-fire sign that he’s about to do something terrible. (D: Yeah, even if you didn’t know the future, this was basically a neon sign saying “BAD SHIT TO COME.”)  She heads out to wait tables, and Dawson decides that Mr. Potter would be the perfect subject for his final project. He agrees, provided Dawson helps out with the renovations. He hands Dawson a spirit level, and Dawson’s all “The fuck is this?” because apparently he’s a total moron. Joey laughs at him.

McPhees. Pacey turns up, and asks Jack why they’re leaving in such a hurry. Jack’s all “IDEK”, and Pacey says he knows all about pushy fathers and they have to stop him. Jerky McPhee appears to be all “Bitch, please”. Pacey suggests getting Andie help in Capeside seeing as how she has a support system there. But no, apparently family trumps everything else. Andie is his responsibility, not Pacey’s, and therefore he’s the boss. Jerky goes to walk away, but Pacey snaps that he knew about Andie’s mental health problems when he left them, so it’s not fair for him to come back now and be all dictatorial. “Not fair to whom? My daughter or to you? Because you’re just too selfish to let her go?” Jerky replies. Pacey begs him, for both of their sakes, to let Andie stay.

Diva: I mean, sure, Pacey wants Andie to stay for his own sake too, but that doesn’t diminish his point, which is that Jerky McPhee only parents when, where, and how it’s convenient for him to do so. He left two teenagers to care for their mentally ill mother alone, and came to visit them a total of ONCE (and just so he could gay-shame his son), and now he wants to swoop in and rule the world? I don’t fucking think so, buddy.

K: EXACTLY. I should have given him a worse nickname, really.

Leery Manor. Jen phones her parents and fills her mum in on where she’s staying. Apparently Grams mentioned that she’d kicked Jen out but not where she was staying. Nice. As is the fact that Jen’s parents clearly don’t give a shit about where their sixteen year old is living. (D: Yeah, they definitely inherited that gene from Grams.) Anyway, Jen asks whether she can maybe move home to live with her parents again, and gets a little teary.

Icehouse. Dawson’s hammering nails and it’s the most inept use of a hammer I’ve ever seen. I’m pretty sure I know six year olds who could do better. Joey comes up and hugs him even though he’s covered in dust and appears to have sweaty biceps. Is that a thing? I’ve been to Central America in the height of summer and I don’t think my biceps sweated. Anyway, she tells him that the whole tradesman thing is hella sexy, and I throw up in my mouth. She suggests giving him a James Dean bad boy makeover, and Dawson looks relieved when they’re interrupted by Mr. Potter, who’s ready for his close up. Dawson dashes off to get his camera, leaving Joey and her dad shaking their heads over his shitty handiwork and the fact that they’ll have to fix it all.

Cut to the interview. Mr. Potter says “I thought I would die of shame. Literally,” and I headdesk because NO ONE HAS EVER DIED OF SHAME, OKAY? Anyway, he wasn’t sure his daughters would ever forgive him for what he’d done and what he’d done to their mother. Joey looks hurt and walks out. Dawson and Mr. Potter stare after her.

McPhees. Jerky says it’ll be good for their family to be back together again. Jack suggests he stays – easier to move one person than three, especially when two are mentally ill – and Jerky’s all “LOL NOPE” because his business comes first. DUDE. It’s like a 75 minute drive from Cape Cod to Providence. I know people who live and work in Melbourne who have longer commutes than that! (D: My dad commuted farther than that for thirty years until he retired, and my mom’s still doing a longer commute than that, six days a week. Stupid show is stupid.) (K: So very very stupid.) “If you really loved us, you’d stay,” Jack says. Ouch. Jerky says he’s giving Andie everything, and Jack points out that he’s actually giving her everything except a choice. Apparently he can’t do that, and BTW, Providence is the best place for ALL of them because then Jack can talk to someone about his “problem”. Oh God, please don’t give us a pray-the-gay-away storyline, show. I can’t cope with that shit.

Diva: +1 to your sentiment and to that amazing gif.

K: Jack agrees with me, and storms off. But Jerky follows him, saying that he knows Jack’s confused with all these “gay ideas” flying around, and Jack’s all “Wow. You really are a homophobe, aren’t you?”. Then he says that it’s not about either of them, it’s about Andie. Taking her away from Capeside and from Pacey would be hella detrimental. Jerky scoffs, but Jack replies “Her solution will come from the people that love and care for her, I know that’s not your specialty, Dad.”

Upstairs in Andie’s room, Pacey suggests that rather than spending her last night in Capeside cooped up in her room moping, they should go out on a proper date. She dithers about how much there is to do, then relents. He hugs her and says that they’ll have a magical time and it’s adorable. He leaves via the window and she sighs.

Back at the Icehouse, Dawson’s crappy questions continue: “What drove you to your lowest point?“. Basically, it’s Breaking Bad but his wife was the one with cancer and it was pot rather than meth. Joey storms in and stands between Mr. Potter and the camera, saying that he has to take dinner home to Bessie and the baby. He asks Dawson if they can continue later, and leaves. Joey asks Dawson why he’s making her dad relive such a shitty time in his life, because she doesn’t want to live in the past. Her family has worked so hard to move past that, and he’s back and digging it all up again. She suggests that if he really wants insight, he should turn the camera on himself. Dawson can’t do that because he’s scared that if he does, she’ll realise what a shitty person he is and he’ll lose her forever. What the fuck, you melodramatic child?! Joey looks confused as we fade to black.

McPhees. Jack walks into Andie’s room as she’s getting ready. She says happily that she talked to Jerky and he said if she wants to stay in Capeside, he’ll try and sort it out. But then she says that she’s not sure about whether or not she’ll stay. Jack’s all “Skrrrrrt, THE FUCK??”. Andie replies that being with Pacey and spending time with her friends has made her realise how much she wants to get better. She feels burdened by how much of a strain it must be for them all to support her. She’s decided that if she goes, Jack should stay. He’s all “NOPE”, but she asks him to stop being selfless and think about his life for once.

Diva: I kind of wish the show had given us a legitimate reason for Jerky McPhee wanting to take Andie away from her home. You know, maybe she had to be institutionalized, or have live-in care that they couldn’t afford unless they sold the Capeside house, or any number of reasons that would have made a lot more sense than “BECAUSE JERKY SAYS SO AND HATES COMMUTING.” Regardless, I have all kinds of Andie feels, for recognizing the strain her illness puts on her loved ones, and for wanting to do something about it. I don’t want her to run away from her problems, and I don’t want her to have to leave Pacey, but if she truly believes leaving is best for all of them, I support her.

K: YES. EXACTLY.

Leery Manor. Jen walks across to Chez Grams, duffel bag in hand. She goes to knock on the door, then takes a deep breath and stops herself. “Bye, Grams…” she says quietly before walking tearfully away.

Icehouse. Dawson’s successfully managed to level something. He apologises for making Mr. Potter dig up old memories, but apparently he thinks about them all the time anyway, so it’s fine. Except for the part where he’s not sure how he’s changed. He just tries to be a better person for his family every day, because you have to put the needs of those you love before your own. Joey walks in to hear this, and Mr. Potter decides he’s going to take a walk.

Dawson tells Joey he’s embarrassed about being crazy insecure. She says that her life is perfect right now, and part of that is him. Also, if she had a white picket fence, things would be hella perfect. Dawson says he just wants her to be proud of him. She starts making a speech about how she loves him and more icky gooey shit, but I’m distracted by how over the top the make up department have gone with making him look sweaty.

They kiss and she teases him about how crappy he is at carpentry.

McPhees. Jack tells Jerky that he’s staying in Capeside, no matter what. He doesn’t know what Andie’s doing, but he won’t let it change his mind. Jerky’s all “You’re seventeen, you can’t stay here alone. Plus, I might sell the house.” Um, rude. But also, we finally established that Jack and Andie aren’t twins, which is something I’ve been wondering about for YEARS. Hurrah! Anyway, Jack says he can’t live with Jerky and his homophobia right now. Jerky says he feels responsible for Jack’s sexuality because he wasn’t around more. Jack insists that it’s not a choice, and Jerky says that he won’t know unless he tries not being gay. Um. Pretty sure that’s what he was trying to do for the first sixteen years of his life, dude.

Jack says he doesn’t want to try because this is who he is, and Jerky replies that he doesn’t understand that because he can’t imagine why anyone would choose to live “that kind of life“. Ugh, I just hate him so much. Jack says the only thing he’s chosen is to be happy. And he can’t live with Jerky because he knows he’d sacrifice his happiness to make his father proud. He starts to go. Jerky goes to say something, but stops himself and turns away. Jack looks teary.

Diva: With a complete and total monster for a father, and a mother who hasn’t been capable of caring for them for years, how exactly did Andie and Jack end up to be such amazing people? (I know they have their problems, but they’re good kids, and they have no one to thank for that but themselves, and each other.)

K: I honestly have no idea.

Waterfront. Pacey’s wearing yet another hideous crushed velvet shirt.

Andie gushes about how they’re at the place where they first kissed, and how much they’ve both changed since then. Pacey says that their lives together have only just begun. He asks Andie to dance, and she accepts. He kisses her forehead and she starts crying. She’s happy to be with him and she loves him more than anything, but she’s not getting any better so she has to leave. And that’s breaking her heart a little. Pacey says he knows that she has to leave. They agree that there won’t be any goodbyes and sadly keep dancing. I develop hayfever that’s periodically interrupted by “THAT IS THE UGLIEST SHIRT IN HISTORY” thoughts. (D: Same.) Fade to black.

After the Not Commercial Break, Dawson turns up at Joey’s first thing in the morning. He makes a pyjama-clad Joey close her eyes and he leads her out into the front garden. He’s built her a white picket fence. Or, like, a ten foot section of white picket fence. Apparently it took him all night. I’m confused as to how all the hammering and swearing didn’t wake the entire house. She grins and kisses him. He says it’ll probably take him the rest of the summer to finish it, and she’s totally okay with him hanging out in her front garden all summer. Although I’m not sure how summery it can be given that she’s wearing long flannelette pyjamas…

Diva: I remember complaining about how it was supposed to be November and everyone was still dressing like July. But now it’s supposed to summer and they’re dressing like it’s winter? I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND THIS UNIVERSE’S WEATHER PATTERNS.

K: Bus station. Jack runs up to find Jen in the queue for a bus to New York. He can’t believe she’d leave town without saying goodbye, and is thrilled her parents said she could move home. Except that they didn’t. Apparently they thought it was a plea for money. Oof. (D: Be gone, negligent parents, before Sandy Cohen comes and drops a house on you!) (K: I can’t stop laughing about the mental image of Sandy Cohen as a tornado with fabulous eyebrows…) She says that she doesn’t need them, and if she’s going to leave Capeside she knows now that she can go anywhere. Jack pulls her out of the queue and says that he wonders how his mother would react to him being gay if she could comprehend what was happening. He’d like to think that she’d be cool with it, because everyone wants their parents to love them unconditionally. But it doesn’t happen that way sometimes.

Jen cries, and he insists that it’s worse for their parents than for them, because “It is worse to be incapable of loving than to not be loved.” He screws up her bus ticket and grabs her bags. He tells her that he’s got this big empty house at his disposal now, and he could use a roommate. She nods tearfully and they hug and MY BROTP IS HERE YOU GUYS OMG I AM SO EXCITED AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Diva: BEST BEST BEST SO EXCITED BEST BEST BEST etc.

K: They watch as the bus pulls out and walk off holding hands.

Icehouse. Dawson shows up to return some tools and is just in time to see Mr. Potter with a friend of dubious origin who’s showing him an enormous hidden bag of cocaine. Dawson backs away before they see him and bumps into Joey as he leaves. She’s thrilled to see him but he’s kind of awkward because OMG DRUGS.

McPhees. Jack and Andie share a teary farewell hug, then Jerky shakes Jack’s hand. He says he knows he’s not a great father but he does want Jack to be happy. Jack’s a little surprised. Jerky gets in the car and Andie goes to follow when Pacey rushes up. Andie’s surprised because they agreed there weren’t going to be any goodbyes, but he says he just wants to look at her. He cradles her face in his hands, and thanks her for everything she’s done for him, for making him the man (LOL) he is today. She hugs him tearfully and Jack looks crazy awkward in the background. I’m not sure what emotion Kerr Smith was going for here, but I’m pretty sure he didn’t hit it.

Pacey tells Andie to remember their promise – them together again, happy and healthy and more in love than ever. She smiles tearfully and they kiss. It’s adorably feelsy. She breaks away and gets in the car. Jack and Pacey stand awkwardly together waving goodbye. Dawson voiceovers that Bogart’s character didn’t change in Casablanca. “He’s the same lonely tough guy that he always was“. We get a shot of Pacey standing sadly on the waterfront. Bogart’s actions, Dawson continues, didn’t change him. A shot of Jack and Jen watching TV and eating ice cream. Bogart’s character wanted to change but feared he couldn’t. A shot of Mr. Potter sitting sadly in the Icehouse. We finally get a shot of Dawson vlogging (let’s be honest here – his final project is a vlog) and saying that if Rick had really wanted to change, he would never have sent Elsa away. Because love is change. He looks over at Joey, asleep on his bed, and says “Or at least I hope so“.

Fade to black.

Good Lord, there was a lot crammed into that episode. And most of it falls under the category of Shitty Fictional Parents. So I really can’t work out how I feel about this episode right now… Mostly I think I feel lied to because there wasn’t any David Bowie.

Diva: Agreed. Putting the “ch…ch…” in the title and NOT playing Bowie’s “Changes” was just cruel, show. CRUEL.

 

Next time on Dawson’s Creek: It’s the final episode of season 2! And based on the name, I’m guessing it features some (more) terrible parenting. Find out if I’m right in S02 E22 – Parental Discretion Advised.