Dear Traumateers,
Marines: This is our 900th post.
It’s very apt that it came during this time because holy crap we’re posting a lot which explains a little of why we fell off schedule this month. I write this having just landed in Florida after spending a weekend in New York with Sweeney and Lion, hence the silence on the blog. And even with that, we still managed to post more times this month than in September. To put it in perspective in July we posted 36 times, 34 in August, 52 in September and 61 in October.
tl;dr MANY POSTS. MUCH BUSY.
Sweeney: MUCH BUSY / INSUFFICIENT SLEEP. 61 posts came after a lot of ignoring the all-important “sleep first, blog second” Snark Lady rule. Any thinking person could have told us that was coming when we announced that we were going to blog all! the! things! but somehow we didn’t recognize that ourselves.
Mari: I feel like we’d be losing a key Snark Lady ingredient had we had that kind of foresight. This blog is (at least somewhat) dependent on our inability to recognize our own limits.
Anyway, we had a great time in New York, cursing the stupid weather (mostly me) and catching up with old friends (mostly Sweeney’s). We also took a lot of awkward selfies, so here’s a gem:
Sweeney: Can we go back on vacation again? Time for more vacation.
Mari: I definitely feel due for a vacation.
There was other stuff that happened this month. I know that Sweeney and I both had busy professional months, but I don’t even want to think about it because I have hazy travel brain right now.
And on that note, let’s do the thing.
Last Month:
Doctor Who premiered with a giant WTF of an episode in which Rose met the Doctor and they ran from living plastic. The Doctor takes Rose to the end of the world and they both face the mortality of their species. In the past, the Doctor investigates some zombies and has a chat with Charles Dickens. Then, Farting Aliens and Farting Aliens Part 2. The Doctor lands in a private museum and comes face to face with a Dalek.
We also premiered Dollhouse and met Echo; she was programmed with asthma and sent on her first mission. Echo gets assigned on a nature date and the client then hunts and tries to murder her, making it doubly the worst date ever. Continuing with her something-goes-wrong engagements, Echo is programmed as a back-up singer who doesn’t know she’s a bodyguard. It turns out her charge is suicidal. Echo goes on a heist and gets remotely wiped during the mission. Topher programs Echo blind so she can infiltrate a cult. Paul comes face to face with Echo on a mission and they have the best fight ever. Both the dolls and operatives get drugged and while the dolls remember, the operatives just get high.
In Gotham City, we kind of met Selina Kyle in an episode that was mostly not about her. A man runs around Gotham attaching people to weather balloons and it makes very little sense. The worst professional assassin ever goes after the Mayor with an eye-pokey-out-y thing. A mysterious new drug gets released in Gotham and people sniff it for reasons that are beyond us. A therapist hypnotizes people into thinking they are a murderous goat spirit.
Viola Davis defended a man who didn’t kill his wife but did previously kill another wife. The guilty, murdering law students decide to use the bonfire as their alibi and takes lots of distressed selfies for Instagram (or something). Viola asks her husband what his penis is doing on a dead girl’s phone. Rebecca comes over to Grimmauld place and figures out that the penis on the phone was indeed Dr. Keating’s.
Veronica Mars helps the homosexual students of Neptune High figure out Kristin Cavallari is blackmailing them. Wallace’s new girlfriend thought her sister was missing, but really, her sister was off not marrying a jerk. Veronica joins Wallace during a visit to Hearst College, finds Troy there and helps him shake an accusation of rape. We learned who killed Felix and Weevil gets his revenge. The bus crash victims haunt Veronica’s dreams.
Meanwhile, in Orange County, Katie helped us recap that one time Mischa Barton threw around pool furniture and tried real hard to act. Polge covered the return of the boys to The OC, though they found their once girlfriends had new boyfriends. GFM joins us as Seth tries to be less self-involved and a better friend to Summer. He fails on both fronts. Tyler covers Ryan and Seth’s slightly disastrous double date. Our very own Democracy Diva covers the Sno.C dance and questions the tastes of her youth. Amanda recaps the next Christmukah episode complete with you are the father! reveal. Ifeoluwa gets a prime negligent parenting episode as Jimmy Cooper decides he has to go be not a parent. Molly joins us again for an episode mostly about boring significant others.
Over in Capeside, Dawson casts Laney Boggs in his latest dumb movie. Jack is forced to read his poem about another boy aloud in class. Jack then comes out to his father and there are many feels. Dawson gets drunk on his 16th birthday and says a lot of mean things. The gang all ends up working at a wedding and Abby dies. Jen gives a speech at Abby’s funeral and Grams kicks her out because of it. Andie starts seeing her dead brother and there were additional feels to be had.
The Pretty Little Liars continue to get nowhere slowly as they turn to a bird for the newest clues to a mystery we’re not sure we follow anymore. Toby and Caleb team up for some A-investigating and someone throws a car at Emily’s house. Hanna practices her false confession to Wilden’s murder, but it’s Mona who ends up confessing first. Paige throws a surprise party for Emily and Jenna almost drowns in the lake. Wren is a confirmed creep and indirectly gets Mariska Mom thrown off Ashley’s case. There’s a hoedown dance and Red Coat was probably there.
On Supernatural, Sam heads off on his own to look for more psychic kids. The boys investigate a creepy inn where mysterious deaths were being caused by the ghost of drowned child. Next, they look into a bunch of robbery-suicides and discover a shapeshifter. A bunch of murders happen in Providence and the culprits say an angel told them to do it. Sam disappears for days ’cause he’s possessed by the Meg Demon. The boys look into a bunch of urban legends caused by a trickster. The boys get flagged down by a woman on the road involved in a car crash, but it turns out she’s a ghost. Sam has sex with a werewolf and then kills her.
On Charmed, Phoebe learned to kick people! The sisters then travel in time, visit their mom, and stop a warlock all without employing an ounce of logic. The Ps next help a warlock trying to be good and also a priest.
Finally, we took a time out to address getting things wrong.
Also, I stopped using my pen name which I didn’t ever officially announce on this blog, but you all just kind of went with it, which was awesome. So officially, hi! I’m Mari-not-Lorraine. I wrote about not being Lorraine here.
Coming Up:
Nothing new to announce line-up wise because we took care of all of that and more last month. We do currently have two series that are single recapper and we’re going to change that. Starting with season 2, Stephanie is going to join me on the Charmed recaps. Starting with season 3, we’re real excited to announce that new Snark Lady Anna May Fox is going to join Kirsti on Supernatural.
Welcome them both!
Sweeney: We’ve been flailing about this silently for a while now, so it’s fun to flail publicly. Yay more Stephanie! Yay Anna! Lots of exclamation points!
ETA: We should also note that we will be taking American Thanksgiving off and spending the whole weekend on family time, so no posts from Thursday, November 27 – Sunday November 30.
Welcome Questionable New Friends:
Last month someone searched this question and landed on our blog so I want to answer it for them or any future web wanderer:
what would you change about the ending of fifty shades of grey
That’s a tricky one friend because that book actually ends with Ana running the hell away from Grey, which was amazing. I guess I would only add that perhaps Grey gets arrested. Or maybe our long time dream of “and then they die” could be tacked on at the very end.
Yeah.
That.
♥
The Snark Squad
