Previously: Zach and Seth keep up the bromance over their beloved comic books.
—
The Second Chance
Tom: After some scandalous “Previously Ons,” we open on Sandy driving up to the Cohen supermansion. Chirping birds quietly assure us it is, indeed, morning, despite the fact that it could also be, you know, noon. In the magical kitchen, where Ryan is fully dressed and studying for a test, Seth wanders in in a bathrobe and wants to discuss his love life. Ryan displays more of the surliness I would expect from a teenager in the morning, but this seems to be more due to him WANTING to study versus the horrific reality of it being morning and ANOTHER GODDAMN DAY.
For those following along at home, I was the kid who liked to remind everyone that morning and mourning were homonyms FOR A GODDAMN REASON.
Marines: I was about to say that we have a tag for that, but then I realized that we started it on your last OC post. GOOD JOB WITH THE CONTINUITY.
Tom: YOU GUYS MADE A TAG FOR ME?! <3
Seth wants to discuss Summer and Zach and their forthcoming comic book, which this love triangle has decided to work on together in just a brilliant display of “what could go wrong?” logic. Seth seems to think this is a professional relationship, not creating a comic book, as Ryan points out, and that this could get sexy. Ryan says this is really just Seth not having a girl to lust after and being worried over nothing. A reasonable suggestion, Ryan.
Tom: I mean, without his neuroses, the show would have significantly less conflict.
Sandy sneaks in quietly and gets caught by Seth, who wears a wonderful shit-eating grin. Seth lets him off on the hope Sandy will remember this kindness. In true Sandy Cohen Epic Parenting, he tells him to keep dreaming, and continues to sneak inside. Kirsten asks him how Professor Bloom took the news about Rebecca and, rather than mention she’s alive, Sandy lies to his wife (cause this ALWAYS works out well, Sandy). Though one might note that Sandy doesn’t explicitly lie, merely says, when asked how he took the news of the death of his daughter, says “How do you think he took it?”
Rebecca calls Sandy, and he calmly keeps the conversation brief and nondescript.
CALLLLIFFORRRRRNIIIIAAAAAA
Kirsten runs into Ryan in the kitchen (seriously how early did this kid get up?) where he laments still not being ready for this test. She asks about school, life, and not too subtly, Lindsay. He hesitates over that, leading Kirsten to suggest candy and flowers, assuming he’s fucked up in some way. Ryan rightfully thanks her for her confidence in him and points out it was our buddy Cal who’s thrown a wrench in things. He recounts how he tried to get Lindsay and Caleb together at a restaurant and the horrific events of last episode. Kirsten suggests her father may have gotten Lindsay confused with his other daughter, or his wife. Ryan pulls out the Star Wars references and points out that even Luke Skywalker was happy to have a Dad, even if it was Darth Vader. Well done, Chino. Kirsten promises she’ll handle it, and invite everyone over to a dinner party at the Cohen Supermansion.
CAUSE THOSE ALWAYS GO SO WELL.
Mari: I don’t get how no one around here learns their lesson. Maybe because they keep making big decisions in the mourning.
Tom: Ten points to Gryffindor (or your House of choice Marines) for the proper spelling there.
At some inexplicably giant but supposedly trashy place, Alex and Marissa lament how much they drank last night. Alex says she was surprised a Harbour chick could throw down and Marissa, with the subtle flirting skills of a 10 year old boy pulling pigtails, says she’s “not like the other girls” with a significant, serious look.
Look, I want to believe this whole storyline was supposed to be something groundbreaking and bold for prime time TV and not just an excuse to make two hot girls make out. But I’ll admit I approach it on the assumption that it was very, very, very much the latter. Cause Mischa Barton just DOES NOT have the acting chops for the former.
Mari: Since Mischa’s entire presence on this such can be explained by, “hot girl,” yes. Your logic is sound.
Sweeney: I think they were trying to do things with the character and with Marissa trying to sort out her feelings but surely everyone noticed right away that she can’t actually pull that off. And having scenes with Olivia Wilde highlights her lack of chops. At least with Ben McKenzie she has a partner in brood. It’s a little embarrassing for Mischa to watch Olivia fully carry all of these scenes.
Tom: Pretty much!
They continue to flirt and I continue to not buy Alex being charmed by Marissa in any way. Alex mentions they should get Marissa to school, and asks after Seth. Marissa mentions she plans to skip school and disses the entire profession of history in doing it. Hint: there’s a lot to learn about the Aztecs, Marissa. She asks Alex “what do you wanna do” with all the subtlety of Thor’s hammer Mjolnir striking Captain America’s shield (what, Ryan isn’t the only one who can throw out some nerdy references). Alex suggests a surf lesson and Marissa says she needs to jump in the shower and pulls off her shirt as she walks there, looking “coyly” back at Alex and asking about borrowing a shirt. Alex looks dumbfounded and lovestruck at this. Seriously, Olivia, good job with this, but COME ON. I still don’t buy world-weary, independent Alex being basically puppy dog love struck over Marissa’s decidedly lame attempts at flirting. I think I’d be happier with this plotline if the roles were reversed, if it was Alex trying to shamelessly bed Marissa, and not the other way around.
Out on the beach, Sandy and Rebecca catch up, Sandy mentioning he hasn’t mentioned about Rebecca’s return to his wife, lest she be considered an accomplice. He asks after Rebecca, who hasn’t dated anyone since Sandy, since she’s been on the run. And says she will run again soon, leaving and disappearing in 48h or so. But she wants Sandy to tell her Dad she’s leaving again soon. Which is just such a tiny favour of her to ask, of course.
Ryan surprises Lindsay with a kiss at school. After inviting her for dinner he tries to cough over the fact that Caleb will be there. He relays that Kirsten wants to fix things, but Lindsay says she doesn’t want any part of it, despite Ryan pulling out the Star Wars reference again. Lindsay smacks him down by pointing out that Vader cut off Luke’s hand in a lightsaber battle. YOU GUYS WOULDN’T YOU LOVE TO SEE LINDSAY FIGHT CALEB WITH A LIGHTSABER. (Spoiler alert: that doesn’t happen). (M: Why would you even tease us?) Lindsay asks him to stop messing with “their family,” reminding us again that she is technically Ryan’s aunt, and to just let it be.
To just further up the creepiness, Caleb meets Kirsten in his office and looks her up and down, complimenting her figure and her top. Save it for Game of Thrones, Crastor. Kirsten invites him to dinner by asking him not to be the world’s biggest ass (Protip: most dinner invites should not refer the invitee as an ass). Caleb claims he was thrown off by how she showed up with “that inland street thug,” proving that Caleb is possibly the absolute whitest person on this show (which should earn him some sort of award). They go back and forth on this theme, with Caleb still unconvinced about Ryan’s motives with the Cohens. Kirsten brings it back to Lindsay, and tells him for sure he WILL be there.
Cut to Sandy’s office, where Rebecca tells her father (apparently she didn’t leave it just to Sandy) that she needs to leave. Her father says all he wants is for her to clear her name. Rebecca tells Sandy she’s completely innocent, but she ran because she didn’t want to rat out her friends. Her father begs Sandy to help them clear her name.
At school, Seth draws for the comic. Summer hopes her character is still drawn attractive, despite their history and Seth shares his concerns that they will have trouble working together because of this. Summer reminds him that Zach is in the picture and will basically douse any romantic feelings between the two of them that may arise from close quarters. On cue, Zach drops in and says he’s gotten an in with a comic book company, but that to nail it he’ll need Seth and Summer to work closely together to finish the artwork real fast. Cause yeah, you always want to put your girlfriend with her ex in close quarters in order to try and get a business deal. I swear Zach’s whole purpose in this episode seems to be to drop in and douse Summer/Seth with cold water.
Mari: Seth spent an entire summer away from Summer, drawing her in a slightly obsessive way. For this episode to be all, “YOU NEED HER AS A LIVE MODEL, STAT,” is stupid. More stupid than usual, I should say.
Sweeney: True. There’s a whole spectrum of stupidity to keep in mind here.
Tom: Kirsten prepares for dinner and assures Sandy he’s not invited, playfully, who says he should probably get back to the office anyway. Sandy avoids sharing anything explicit and talks around the reality of Rebecca’s pulse, but pitches trying to clear her name. Kirsten is on board with it, not realizing what she’s signing up for. In the kitchen, Ryan tells Kirsten Lindsay isn’t coming, and says he’s gotten in the middle enough. Kirsten decides she’ll try and get her sister to come, and leaves Ryan to set the table.
At the seedy club/bar/thingy, Marissa asks about Alex’s history with Seth, who says that he was good for getting over someone. Marissa suggests with a serious look that he may have been good at getting Alex ready FOR someone. God, Marissa, why don’t you just write “I want to jump your bones” on a giant club and start hitting her over the head with it? I feel like that would be subtler. She asks to crash at Alex’s place again, but Alex wants to know what’s going on here. Is this significant flirting leading anywhere? Marissa gets scared and says she’ll sleep at home anyway.
Sweeney: Again, this could have gone somewhere if left in more capable hands than America’s Drunk Coat Hanger Sweetheart.
Tom: Kirsten drops in to Lindsay’s room to discover she plays the oboe and can even play some Brahms. After a bit of convincing Lindsay breaks and comes with Kirsten for dinner.
Sandy shows Rebecca to the spare room in his office and offers it as a place for her to stay. She thanks him with a hug that’s maybe just a liiiiiitle too long for a married man, and asks if he’s told Kirsten yet. He says he has to protect her, legally, using that old excuse. Rebecca glosses over this and suggest they celebrate by ordering in Mexican to the office, getting drunk and smoking weed. Rebecca asks about a bong, and enlightens us that the old Sandy could make a bong out of anything, leading me to want some kind of OC prequel series following Sandy and Kirsten as young adults. (M: The spinoff shows that are birthed in recaps are always A+) Sandy begs off, and suggest they stick to getting drunk off tequila. I’ll let this gif speak to my feelings on that.
Seth drops by Summer’s room to draw her for the comic. Summer drops her robe to reveal a very well made costume of her superhero persona that appears to be more than a little uncomfortable. Summer stands there, shifting about and completely negating any real posing Seth could get out of this. Seth gets up to pose her and the music swells to show us that FEELINGS abounds here. Summer sees Seth drawing so far and gets excited over how good it is, trying to draw herself and lamenting her own lack of artistic skills. Seth tries to help her hold the pencil properly, cause clearly that close contact won’t elicit any feelings. They look like they’re about to kiss, but Seth backs out and runs home for a cold shower.
Caleb gets pissed off, stands up, and decides that it’s a good idea to challenge a young kid, who he sees as being a thug, to a fight. His body seems to decide this is a terrible idea, and promptly gives him a heart attack to get him out of it, leading him to pull the fondue pot off the table, which somehow doesn’t make everything catch on fire.
Mari: The dramatic table cloth pull made me LOL.
Tom: If this were Downton Abbey the table cloth pull would’ve been a scandal all on its own!
At the hospital, Ryan and Seth go to find food and coffee when Sandy arrives, claiming he was working late. Kirsten smells the alcohol on him, but gets sidetracked by the doctor conveniently showing up to give a status update on her father, who will apparently be fine, and that family can see him. In a slightly odd moment, Lindsay chooses this moment, after he’d been a huge dick to everyone, to identify herself as his daughter. I am now wondering if this is all one of Caleb’s plots to be honest. (M: Fake a heart attack that was Ryan’s “fault?” EVIL GENIUS.) (I mean, tell me that’s totally out of character for him. Go on. I’ll wait.) Kirsten suggests Sandy might not be the best thing for her father to see now, and he begs off to go back to “the office.”
In Summer’s room, Marissa displays stunning empathy by greeting the news of her step-father’s heart attack with a resounding meh and comparing him to a cockroach. Instead, they discuss how Summer nearly kissed Seth. Marissa turns it into a discussion of “charged moments” and gazes dreamily off into the distance, thinking, presumably, about Alex. Summer picks this up and asks who she’s thinking of, but Marissa brushes it off. They discuss when it’s proper to go after someone like that, and Summer gives her tacit and unknowing approval for Marissa to explore her possible bisexuality.
Caleb, at the hospital, says he feels great and has had a come to Jesus moment, swearing he’ll be better and different and everything will be roses and butterflies from now on, asking for a second chance, from both Kirsten and Lindsay. Lindsay forgives him tearily.
At his office, Sandy uses his fancy law books (so they AREN’T just decorative) to say that clearing Rebecca’s name will be tough, and suggests they explore some kind of amnesty. Rebecca agrees if it will get her more time with her father. Sandy tells them what he’ll need from them, and then finally says he’ll call his wife. He calls, but leaves a voicemail just saying hello. Rebecca comes and urges him to go be with his family, given Caleb’s heart attack, but he says the sooner they get started on this, the sooner it’s all over, but Rebecca insists he go home.
At the hospital, Ryan offers Kirsten some cold coffee, and lets her know Seth’s gone home to do some work, and she asks why he’s still there. He figured he’d stay at the hospital because of the guilt over giving Caleb a heart attack. Kirsten reassures him he’s blameless here.
Seth opens the door at the Cohen SuperMansion to discover Alex, dropping off a drawing he’d left at the bar. He invites her in, where she admires the Mansion. He dives right into asking if she’s seeing anyone with all the subtlety of a third-rate pick up artist on a reality show. She refuses to answer, and they end up talking about whether she hurt him or not. Alex affirms what she’s said before, that they were each other’s in-between people, trailing off as she looks at his drawings, with a skeptical tone, saying she was helping him “get over” Summer. Seth unconvincingly affirms yes, of course, he’s over Summer. She wishes him luck with her all the same.
Sweeney: Olivia Wilde is just better than everyone and too good for this show. This isn’t really meant as an insult to Adam Brody’s acting, but it was yet another moment of, “What are you even doing here?” Not being famous yet, I guess.
Tom: Pretty much, I’d say. This was arguably one of her first big gigs, and I first remember hearing about her from this.
A bit later, in the same magic kitchen, Sandy is preparing dinner, Kirsten’s favourite, she says. She asks about his new office, and suggests it might need some sprucing up, though Sandy says he likes it unspruced. She heads out to pick up some things for her father. We all know where this is going, right? (M: Yep.)
Seth is at Summer’s house, and drops by to tell her he needs to draw her more, and Summer says that’s great cause she’s made modifications for the costume. But they then say they need to spend as little time together as possible. Wait, what? Zach drops by before I can decode this and says the three of them need to ride to San Diego together.
At the bar, a song comes on that hits all my feels from summers long ago. Alex looks on at all the couples jealously. Marissa slips in, looking forlorn (so, normal). She heads over to Alex, wordlessly, and slips her hand into hers. It’s actually kind of a sweet moment, removed from her kind of blatant and weird flirting earlier. This I believe, and maybe it’s just the song making me a bit more lenient, but I like a lot more. I still don’t really buy Alex swooning as hard as she seems to be, but that may be my prejudice against Marissa.
Sweeney: “HOW CAN ANYONE LIKE HER?” You’re not the first recapper to express more or less that sentiment.
Tom: Well and just…she’s swooning HARD. Marissa is the one dropping all these hints, whereas we’re supposed to see Alex as this hard ass, yet she’s the one who gets all deer in the headlights when Marissa takes off her shirt.
ANYWAY, Lindsay finds Ryan still waiting, asleep at the hospital, and takes his hand there, too, before driving him home. Sitting outside the Cohen house in her car, Ryan again takes responsibility for all this. She reassures him it’s no one’s fault, and says, tentatively, that she thinks Caleb has changed, that he really wants a relationship with her. Ryan finishes her unfinished sentence, that that will be tough with him around. They seem to mutually agree to some time off, just like before with Kirsten in the picture. A surprisingly mature teenage breakup/break. THIS IS NOT WHAT I EXPECT FROM YOU OC. WHERE IS MY DRAMA.
Mari: It’s still weird to me and makes me like Lindsay less, however unfairly. Because poor, broody Ryan. He can’t even escape the brood.
Tom: Sandy calls Rebecca and checks in with her sleeping at his office, and they say a quick good night. Seth tries to Force-move the phone to him when it begins ringing, but when that sadly fails, he gets up and get it. You aren’t Peter Petrelli, Seth. Kirsten is calling to check in and asks to speak to Sandy. Seth makes a half-hearted attempt to find his father before saying he doesn’t know. Kirsten mentions she’s dropping by his office to spruce it up. SETH WHY DID YOU NOT TRY AND BE A BRO TO YOUR DAD, FOR ONCE. She asks Seth not to tell him, so it’s a surprise. Sandy pops his head in, and Seth stays mum.
Sweeney: Nope, not down on Seth at all here. THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LIE TO YOUR WIFE, SANFORD.
Tom: Kirsten lets herself into the darkened office, and, of course, quickly discovers Rebecca, alive and well, awake, and being hidden in her husband’s office.
I WANTED MORE DRAMA OC NOT ALL THE DRAMA JESUS.
Mari: Whatever, Tom. If things get 1000xs more dramatic, I’m blaming you.
Next time on The OC: Seth, Summer and Zach go on a roadtrip and no one is surprised when he tries to win Summer back in S02 E12 – The Lonely Hearts Club.