Previously: Veronica and Keith’s investigations intertwined because Kendall is a lying liar in cahoots with the Fitzpatricks.
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Look Who’s Stalking
Marines: Veronica is at the doctor’s office and he’s telling her she has chlamydia. Veronica is in shock and says she has been sexually active but she finds it impossible that the guy, Duncan, could’ve infected her. The doctor levels her with a, “you think you know someone,” and tells her they can treat it with antibiotics. Veronica Voice Over takes us from there to Neptune High, saying that her grandma used to always say that when life hands you lemons, you make lemonade. She wishes Grandma Reynolds were alive so she can ask what to do when life hands you chlamydia.
Sweeney: I like the idea that the mother of Lianne Reynolds would have been the sort of grandma that you could go to with your STD struggles. Makes sense.
Democracy Diva: That is the sort of grandma we should all strive to be. (But without the whole raising-a-shit-daughter-named-Lianne thing.)
Mari: Good goals all around.
Wallace and Jackie are making out in front of Veronica’s locker and she shoves them aside and tells them to get a room. They bring up prom and Jackie says they gave in and are going to go all out. Mac wanders up and complains about having to go with Butters. All of this is interrupted by Principal Clemmons on the loudspeaker and says that Northglen is doing Millennium too prom has been cancelled thanks to all the overachievers doing underaged drinking during the senior trip. Much muttering starts through the hallway. Mac however gleefully says that prayer works.
Sweeney:
Diva: BEST.
Mari: We referenced Never Been Kissed and Saved! within two lines so I think we win all the Internet points.
Keith gets a call from Woody who needs his assistance ASAP. We cut to Keith arriving at the Camelot and going up to Woody’s room. A woman is passed out on the bed as Woody tearfully says that this isn’t what it looks like. (D: Hope not, ’cause it sure looks like a dead hooker to me.) The lady is part of the incorporation campaign and they had a few cocktails together. She must’ve mixed it with something. Woody kind of whines that this isn’t a proud moment for him, but he needs Keith’s help. Keith turns to leave because he’s on retainer to help the Terrance Cook case, not for crap like this. Woody begs and Keith gives in, saying he’ll get the girl to the hospital and he’ll be discreet. Woody and Keith sneak the woman out and put her in Keith’s car. Woody says he owes him big time and Keith glares at him again all, “understatement, bro.”
Diva: I watched this after too many hours of work and didn’t understand that she was still alive. I was all, WHY IS KEITH DOING THIS? I get the hesitance to involve the world’s worst police department, but this is COVERING UP A DEATH. (But, you know, it wasn’t. #oops)
Mari: #Snowproblems
Neptune High. Gia sits next to Veronica in the newspaper room and asks if she’s ever been stalked before. Veronica snarks at her but Gia, bless her, is not deterred. She wants to catch her stalker because she’s noticed a uniquely nondescript car following her around. Veronica keeps about her business as she asks why anyone would follow her around. Well, Gia went to karaoke and dedicated “Can’t Get You Out of My Head” to a table of cute guys. But PLOT TWIST they weren’t cute. (S: Never trust that karaoke bar lighting, Gia.) They were dweeby Pan High guys who were probably creepy and stalkery. Gia asks her to do her PI thing and Veronica has this weird line about of course doing it for the daughter of the most powerful guy in town. (D: Thrown in just to remind us that this whole stalking thing probably has more to do with Gia’s dad than her karaoke exploits.) She invites Gia to her house after school.
Mars Investigations. Keith opens a box on Veronica’s desk and there are a bunch of copies of a sketch of some dude. As Keith looks at them, he notices a pair of legs in his office. I mean, not just a pair of legs, but that’s all we see at first. He asks Legs what he can help her with and Kendall stands. She came for her hard drive. Keith gives a cute “what chu talkin’ about Willis?” shrug. Kendall says that her friend saw him take it out of her house. And by “her friend” she means Liam Fitzpatrick, who incidentally tried to shoot Keith. Keith asks if Big Dick knew about her side house, jail time and fake name. Without answering, Kendall gives Keith until Friday to return her hard drive or else she’ll press charges. She hands him a self addressed box, from her to her, so there won’t be a paper trail.
Sweeney: Kendall is still awful, but I love the whole twist wherein she is brilliantly awful.
Mari: Veronica enters as Kendall leaves. Kendall says she was just talking about some trouble with Keith and Veronica, my favorite forever, asks if that’s trouble with a capital T that rhymes with C that stands for… Keith cuts her off. She says she was going to say “cute.” “Cordelia” would’ve worked. Probably neither of those were on Veronica’s mind.
Once Cordy is gone, Keith asks how her doctor’s appointment went. Veronica’s all EVERYTHING IS FINE. NOTHING TO SEE HERE. She asks to borrow remote cameras and lies that it’s for a school project, but Keith doesn’t believe her. She explains her case without mentioning Gia’s name and Keith understandably liked the school project answer better. Keith says she can earn the cameras by sending out a copy of that sketches we saw earlier to all of their business contacts. The sketch is of the man who hired a hooker to steal Cliff’s briefcase.
Mars Apartment. Veronica set the cameras up on the roof so that if anyone followed Gia, they would be able to spot him. Sure enough, Gia spots the car pulling up outside and Veronica quickly identifies it as a 2002 silver Gallant. Veronica is being super snarky right now, and I think she does it because it’s so easy to with Gia. (S: I can’t entirely blame her.) Anyway, she zooms in on the license plate, looks up the number and finds that the car belongs to Deputy Leo.
7:55 minutes later: COME ON NOW SUGAR. (S: I still remain proud of this show anytime they keep it in the single digits.)
Veronica catches up to Logan in the hall and tries to give a casual, “how’s it going?” Logan says this is going to be good because she’s got her, “I’d rather be making out with a broken bottle” look. Veronica says he doesn’t even know her at all, but that’s her I’d rather be spelunking look. Veronica asks if Duncan was ever with anyone other than Meg.
Logan says he’s gotten used to her left field questions, but he’s curious about this one. Why is she asking? Veronica isn’t forthcoming. Logan says he only knew about Meg and Veronica, but Duncan wasn’t open about his sex life. Veronica says she’s going to miss these moments and Logan asks if she’s going somewhere. Veronica gushes about leaving and never having to see anyone from high school ever again. (S: This was life affirming mantra circa-graduation, too!) Logan invites her to the “Alterna-prom.” That’s a cute name and all, but I used to watch Hayden Christensen and A.J. Cook in Higher Ground and they named their not!prom the MORP. I think that’s still my favorite.
Anyway, Veronica points out that the drunk 09ers got the prom cancelled and then used their inherited wealth to throw a private prom. Logan asks if she’ll come anyway and she gives him her, “I’d rather be strapped down on an anthill” look. Logan wins her over by telling her to invite Wallace and Jackie and whoever else. She at least says she’ll consider it.
Sweeney: In spite of how much this rewatch is highlighting all the ways Logan’s kind of awful, I can’t not acknowledge that Jason Dohring is killing it in this scene, with his moony playing-it-cool-but-also-sad-panda faces. It’s further confirmation that casting ultimately dictated some of the writing.
Diva: Agreed. There were a lot of layers to Jason’s performance in this episode. As much as Teddy Dunn the terrible actor made me hate Duncan the character, Jason Dohring the terrific actor is making me re-love Logan. Hesitantly. With an option to just eliminate the whole homeless-fight-club thing from my memory entirely.
Mari: And agreed. Jason Dohring gives A+ moony.
Veronica is having coffee with Ex Deputy Leo who says that he’s gone to a private security company now that he’s a disgraced lawman. He seems pretty happy to have heard from Veronica and smiles at her when they both say their current love lives are terrible. It’s really bad the age/power gap was such as to make Leo creepy, because I kind of like him and his mumbly ways. Wait, he stole evidence that one time, right? Maybe I don’t like him?
Sweeney: Veronica just made a lot of really questionable boyfriend choices. It’s one of the many things she and Buffy have in common.
Diva: Also, if we’re going to rule people out for stealing evidence, we’re all going to have to break up with Keith Mars.
Mari: TOO TRUE.
Veronica is apparently not listening to Leo at all, because he said PRIVATE SECURITY and she still asks him why he’s stalking Gia, just as she stomps up and joins them. He tells them that Woody hired him to follow Gia around but he doesn’t know why. Leo asks if this was the only reason she wanted to see him. Yep. He mumbles that it was good to see her and leaves. Gia calls Leo cute in a “tough, mumbly kind of way,” and I giggle. (S: Gia reads our blog.) She wonders what the security detail could be about and if it’s connected to that thing with Veronica’s dad. V has no idea what she’s talking about so Gia whips out a newspaper. The headline reads, “Supervisor questioned over private investigator’s role,” and the picture is of Keith and Woody in front of Keith’s car with the passed out girl in the front seat.
Diva: Meanwhile, I still totally thought that girl was dead. I just feel the need to emphasize HOW LONG my confusion over this went on for. Too long, you guys. I need more sleep.
Mari: I always support more sleep.
We cut to Keith stomping through Woody’s office. Keith is pissed because Woody blamed the whole thing on Keith. Woody smarms that he had to do it because so much is riding on the incorporation vote. Keith says he’s voting against incorporation. That’s cool, but probably a punch to the face would’ve been better. You’re a good man, Keith Mars.
Sweeney: DEFINITELY NEEDS MORE FACE PUNCHING. Woody Goodman is the fucking worst.
Mari: That night, Gia shows up at the Mars Apartment. She asked her father about the security and he said it was normal election precaution. He promised to pull it because it was creeping her out, but then Gia got home and found a CD with more stalkery footage of the Goodman family.
The next day at school, Gia complains about having to meet newspaper deadlines while she’s being stalked. Veronica pops in the Stalker CD and pauses it on a woman with a camcorder. She thinks that woman would’ve gotten the stalker on camera and asks if Gia thinks she can get it.
Mars Investigation. Keith tells someone named Lloyd, off the record, that he never did the thing Woody accused him of doing. Lloyd tells him that he better put that out there on the record because Woody is pushing this whole thing off on him. He even implied on a conference call that Keith was taking advantage of the not-dead-not-whore, Jennifer Stansfield. Lloyd says that Jennifer took off and no one can track her down.
Sweeney: Woody Goodman, Fucking Worst: Exhibit B.
Diva: My notes just read, “wait she wasn’t dead?”
Mari: Wallace and Jackie are eating and trying to decide what to do now that prom is cancelled. Plus, she tells us that things are bad for her father but their relationship is better than ever. Veronica joins them and shows them the invite for Alterna-prom. Jackie and Wallace like the “formal attire” part. Mac joins next and hopes that Butters doesn’t know about this. Corny comes over and grabs the invitation with great interest.
Hospital. Keith is watching Terrance as he stirs from sleep. (D: It’s less creepy than it sounds.) They finally let him in as a non-family visitor and he cuts right to the chase: why did Terrance break into ANTM Journalism Teacher’s parent’s house. Terrance says she claimed to be writing a tell-all book and he was afraid her parents would find it. Keith questions his logic there. Terrance says he wasn’t behind the bus crash but if the story about how he threw a playoff game ever got out, he’d be ruined. Different ruined than BEING ACCUSED OF MURDER, apparently. Jackie arrives so Keith takes off.
Sweeney: No, actually, similarly ruined – the fact that she knew gives him motive. That information getting out doesn’t only jeopardize his public persona (and the corresponding $$$) but it’s also huge in the “looks like he did it” column.
Mari: Excellent point.
Gia scored the videotape by telling the soccer mom that she thought her boyfriend was at the game with another girl. Veronica tells her that was a pretty good play. They review the tape and see that the stalker is wearing a Neptune letterman jacket. They can’t see his face and as the tape goes on, Letterman leaves in a red truck. All they have to do is find the truck/letterman combination.
The next morning, Veronica waits for Keith with his paper and coffee. She casually brings up the story about him getting a girl drunk and the heads off to vote. The camera zooms in on an article about the vote on incorporation being too close to call. Keith opens the paper and sees a story about calling Woody a liar.
Veronica votes no on incorporation.
Sweeney: I like that we see an 18 year old making a point of going to the polls for a local issue ballot, a type of election with notoriously low turnout, a fact amplified within her demographic. VOTE, KIDS.
Diva: YES! Remember, kids – you’ll never know when the hell your state is finally legalizing weed unless you vote!
Mari: That’s right, Florida non-voters. You have no one to blame but yourselves.
Logan asks Dick who he’s bringing to Alterna-prom. He’s been shot down by all the girls, apparently, so he’s going stag. Corny stops them in the hall and asks if they need anything for the big bash because if there’s anything he knows how to do, it’s “pot luck.” Logan and Dick realize word’s gotten out about their prom.
Veronica is walking through the parking lot, but hasn’t been able to find the red pickup. She sees Gia and starts filling her in, but Gia doesn’t care about that. She’s upset that Keith is saying Woody was in the motel with that hooker he paid in campaign money. Veronica calmly says that all her dad is saying is that he didn’t get that girl drunk. Gia slams the newspaper and says she doesn’t get “you people” and storms away. Whenever someone says “you people,” I can’t help but think they are being racist, classist, or otherwise a jerk.
Sweeney: Usually a safe bet! So, you know, note to everyone – probably think really hard before you use that combination of words.
Mari: Even more life saving advice from your friendly, neighborhood Snark Lady.
Keith watches the news that night. Incorporation failed and Neptune has to keep their poor. Veronica gets home and asks Keith for some help with something she’s stuck on. She plays him the stalker video and shows him the stalker in the letterman jacket. Keith says she has something to show her. He plays the stalker video from inside the Goodman house for her. Keith says Woody is scared of something and clearly wants them to stay away from the case. He asks Veronica to do just that because this case is bigger than just a school kid with a camera.
The next day in study hall, Veronica is stuffing envelopes. The teacher gives her crap about it for 30 seconds, but doesn’t actually care enough to enforce any study hall rules. Logan walks in late and sits next to Veronica. He mentions Corny’s offer to bring dessert to his party and Veronica smiles. He next asks about her envelope stuffing and recognizes the guy in the sketch as the man who shared a cell with his father.
Diva: Oooh! The Snow is intrigued!
Mari: Hospital. Terrance and Jackie talk prom and Wallace. She says that she likes Wallace but she’s still leaving for Paris.
Newspaper room. It’s deadline night and Veronica’s been trying to wait out Gia so they can walk out together and talk. It appears Gia is determined to avoid her, though. Veronica tries the direct route but Gia just snaps that she’s really busy. Veronica gives up and leaves. Lucky is in the hall, buffing the floors and he greets Veronica briefly.
When Veronica leaves that night she sees the red pick-up truck parked in a spot reserved for maintenance. Veronica calls her father and leaves him a voicemail saying that she did stay away from the stalker thing but it popped up right in front of her. The red truck belongs to Lucky and he’s in the building with Gia.
Diva: … because there’s only one red pick-up truck in this entire town?
Mari: Of course!
After a not!break VVO tells us that she waited 15 minutes before heading back inside. Veronica hears laughter and follows it to Lucky’s office/closet where he’s showing Gia Kuwait on a map. She asks if that was freaky so he shows her a scar he got from a roadside bomb. It’s all very uncomfortable and also they’ve got him in some red lighting that is used in dark rooms or for murder. Veronica tries to get Gia’s attention through the cracked door as Lucky starts rifling through his things so he can show her something really freaky. Veronica finally gets Gia’s attention, but Gia just asks what she’s doing. Veronica rolls her eyes and walks in. Lucky says she’s in time and pulls off a serrated knife he pulled off an Iraqi corpse. He starts waving it around and whispering all crazylike.
Diva: Why on earth would Gia be in a closet with a janitor? Do they even try and justify this?
Mari: Probably just with a, “because Gia.”
Out of nowhere, Keith comes barreling in and knocks into Lucky. He starts to handcuff him, saying the sheriff is on his way. Lucky yells that he (Woody) deserved it. Lamb shows up and calls Keith off, asking for proof of what Keith already told him. They have it but also, Lucky pretty much already confessed. Lamb tells him this is a police matter. Keith tells Veronica to go ahead to her party because he might be out late. He handcuffs himself to Lucky and throws the key down the nearby drain.
Sweeney: What’s a little obstructing justice on a Friday night?
Mari: Alterna-prom.
Mari: Party and young people dancing. The decor consists of a disco ball and signs that say PROM with a big red circle and strikeout. Logan greets his guests and thinks Veronica looks hot, if his little exhale as she passes by is any indication.
Keith sits in a cell with Lucky and asks why he said Woody deserved it. Lamb comes in and tries several keys on the handcuffs to no avail. He also calls Keith a nutjob, much to Lucky’s amusement.
Back at Alterna-prom, Wallace and Jackie dance. Butters and Mac are dance awkwardly. Mac looks gorgeous. (D: Cosign. Fuckin’ fabulous.) Butters says he knows it’s weird to force someone to the prom with you, but it’s cool because he’s weird and he thought Mac would appreciate that because she’s weird. He means that as a compliment.
Sweeney: Yeah, no, still doesn’t make up for the forced prom date, Butters.
Mari: Dick is hitting on Madison who is completely not interested. Veronica comes to her rescue, but really, comes to make a bunch of jokes about the law “coming down hard” and being “on the lam” and cops “crawling all over you.” I wonder if she came up with all of those on the spot of if she’s been planning them for weeks. Madison excuses herself when she sees Gia and Dick is left to ask what the odds are of Veronica sleeping with him that night. She pretends to pull out a notecard from her dress and says, “a googleplex to one.” Dick thinks he has a chance, which I guess, he actually kind of does. Infinitesimally small, but there.
Veronica runs over to Gia and takes away the drink Madison just gave her because of trips to the dentist. Gia thanks her for saving her back at school and apologizes for her you-people comment. Veronica spies Wallace and Jackie making out and they tell her they’ve got themselves a room and are bailing early, leaving Veronica to her own devices. She’s alone for like 1 second before Logan happens on her. He’s chugging straight out of the bottle and says he’s alone just like she is. Veronica says he could have his pick of bimbos but he claims that isn’t him anymore. He’s more tortured ever since his heart was broken. Veronica says Hannah must’ve done a number on him, but he isn’t talking about Hannah.
Diva: The excellent acting in this scene is giving me all kinds of angsty feels too, even though I agree with all of Sweeney’s comments about how bullshit it is that TV is always, “LOVE SHOULD DESTROY YOUR MIND, BODY, AND SOUL.”
Mari: He keeps inching forward but she isn’t pulling away. Not until his mouth is almost to hers. She says she has to go and runs away.
Wallace and Jackie have sex. I mean, we don’t see it but if the clothes coming off don’t clue you in, the smooth sexy times music should.
Keith is still with Lucky who starts saying that everyone always talks about Woody like he’s a great guy, the mayor, and maker of great burgers. No one knows who he really is. Lucky is about to tell Keith just what that something is but Lamb is back and he’s got the key. Keith asks him for a few more minutes with Lucky, but of course not. Mostly because his bail was just posted by Meg Manning’s father.
Sweeney: And because we’ve still got two more episodes. Lamb respects season-long-arc pacing.
Mari: The next morning, Keith asks Veronica about the party and she says it was “whatever” as she breezes out the door. Keith turns his attention to the newspaper. The story about Terrance throwing a championship game is out. Elsewhere, Jackie is reading this story as well. She throws away the newspaper as she heads in to see her father, plastering on a smile to greet him.
Diva: BRB, having #jackiefeels.
Mari: Veronica goes to Logan’s penthouse and struggles a bit outside the door before deciding to knock. He answers it without a shirt and the internet rejoices. Veronica starts off by apologizing for running out on him like she did because she was overwhelmed and needed to collect her thoughts. He cautions her with a small, “Veronica…” (D: that one word broke my damn heart) but she says she needs to get it all out. She doesn’t want to lose him from her life either. She wants to make it a point to see him after graduation. Logan’s eyes fill with tears as he hangs his head a bit. Realization dawns on Veronica as Logan says that the previous night is a blur for him. From inside his penthouse, we hear Kendall’s voice. She shows up at the door and hugs up on Logan a bit. Veronica is heartbroken. Logan tries to follow her out and say something about last night, something she should know, but she tells him to stop. She presses the elevator button and we watch her get in and try with everything she has not to break down as Logan watches her.
The elevator door closes and end credits.
I’m getting very tense as we head into these final two episodes because of certain impeding plot points that kick me in the gut. That said, if I look past my own feelings of building tension, it’s easy to see that this episode is a bit awkward in its position of not! quite! the end! I mean, having Lamb walking into the cell every time Lucky is just about to confess what’s so bad about Woody is a little too convenient. It’s like this episode can never really take off because it isn’t the end yet. It’s like this episode was reminding us of all the moving parts. Remember Logan and Veronica? Remember someone is stalking Woody? Remember Terrance is accused of the bus crash? REMEMBER THE BUS CRASH? And even smaller things that get almost lost, like the fact that Aaron Echoll’s cellmate was paid to steal Cliff’s briefcase.
Diva: I’m glad you brought up Lamb’s extremely convenient entrances into the cell, because those pissed me off to no end. And I was shocked when I got to the end of the episode, because it seems like every episode from the end of last season ended with a mind-blowing revelation or cliff-hanger. This was emotional and moving, but it kind of felt like an episode that belonged in the first half of the season.
Mari: Still there were some good moments here, including everything about Keith v. Woody. GO KEITH.
Next time on Veronica Mars: Aaron finally goes to trial in S02 E21 – Happy Go Lucky.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
Nicole is the co-captain of Snark Squad and these days she spends most of her time editing podcasts. She spends too much time on Twitter and very occasionally vlogs and blogs. In her day job she's a producer, editor, director, and sometimes host of educational YouTube channels. She loves travel, maps, panda gifs, and semicolons. Writing biographies stresses her out; she crowd sourced this one years ago and has been using a version of it ever since. She would like to thank Twitter for their help.
I'm a J.D. by day/blogger by night who directs her snark and judgment primarily towards celebrities and their many red carpet mishaps. Blogging from the style capital of the world (just kidding - I live in DC), I rant and rave over the best and worst in fashion and pop culture.
