Previously: Rose got trapped in a parallel universe, everyone cried, and a ginger woman in a wedding dress appeared on the TARDIS.
—
The Runaway Bride
Kirsti: Space. We pan around to the Earth, then do a dramatic zoom – with heavy brass accompaniment – into a church somewhere in London. The ginger bride from the end of Doomsday stands at the head of the aisle. The organ starts up, and it’s incredibly confusing because the music is Mendelssohn’s Wedding March, which is traditionally considered a recessional, not a processional. #musicnerdproblems
ANYWAY. The groom turns around, they grin at each other, and Ginger Bride makes her way down the aisle. Half way down the aisle, she starts to glow. Like, literally. She’s full of glowy gold light. Then she screams and disappears into a glow cloud thing. The glow cloud flies out the roof of the church – watched by the confused congregation – then across the universe and into the TARDIS, which is busy burning up a sun just to say goodbye (CRIES). We’re treated to the same conversation between the Doctor and Ginger Bride, all “WHAT”s and “WHERE AM I?”s.
DOO WEE OOOOOO.
After the credits, the Doctor wibbles about how it’s impossible. Ginger Bride demands to know where she is. He tells her that she’s in the TARDIS, and she yells “That’s not even a proper word! You’re just saying things.” I love her already.
Marines: Repeating here, but I was dead set on not liking her one second after burning up a sun to say goodbye. But my goodness, the sass. I never stood a chance.
K: The sass is glorious, it really is.
She thinks she’s been kidnapped, and demands to know who’s paying him. He suddenly joins some dots and asks why she’s dressed like that. “I’m going ten pin bowling! Why do you think, dumbo??” she yells, and it’s glorious. As is the Doctor’s “But I’m adorable, why isn’t she falling for my schtick?” face.
Back inside, he wibbles some more about how it’s impossible for her to be there and start rattling off possible explanations while studying her through some kind of lens thing. She slaps him, and when he asks why, she yells “GET ME TO THE CHURCH!!“. The Doctor springs into motion as she rattles off the church address. It’s in London, obviously. Just then, she spots a shirt of Rose’s hanging on a railing and demands to know how many women he’s abducted.
The Doctor sees the shirt and his face falls. He says it belongs to his friend and that she’s gone. He’s lost her. Donna wants answers, but the Doctor’s on the Nope Train to Feelsville. He flips a few switches and takes them to Chiswick. Meanwhile, the church is in chaos. Donna’s mother says that this is just like Donna, doing silly tricks to get attention.
Mari: Maybe I watch too much TV but if someone disappears that way right in front of me, I’m going to be the one at the front going, “ALIENS, GUYS. ALIENS.” “Silly tricks” my butt.
K: Gangs on PCP, Mari. That’s all I’m saying.
Donna gets out of the TARDIS to find herself decidedly not at the church. She gets pissy as the Doctor strokes the TARDIS and worries because she (the TARDIS, not Donna) is acting weird, like she’s eaten something that didn’t agree with her. When he runs back inside, Donna suddenly twigs to the bigger-on-the-inside thing and freaks. (M: These moments never get old for me.) She declares the TARDIS to be way too weird, and says she’ll get to the church herself. She sets off for a main road, the Doctor trailing after her.
Donna looks at her watch and gets a little teary because she was meant to be married by now. The Doctor suggests phoning to let them know she’s safe, and she rants about how she’s in a wedding dress which has zero pockets. Totally fair, girl. The lack of pockets in my work trousers makes me sad on a daily basis. He quietly wishes her fiance good luck, and she glares before declaring that a stupid martian isn’t going to ruin her wedding, which leads to this piece of fabulousness:
While she dials, he rushes over to a cash point. He sonics it and a wad of cash appears. Cut to the church. Everyone’s phone is suddenly dead or busy and Donna can’t get through. She asks passersby if she can borrow a tenner and they all think she’s crazy and back away. The Doctor spots some creepy mask wearing Santas playing brass instruments, just like LAST Christmas. He turns in time to see Donna leap into a taxi driven by another Santa. It speeds away.
The brass playing Santas point their instruments at the Doctor. He sonics the cash point again, and it starts spewing money into the air. Fun fact: they had to make special money with David Tennant’s face on it for this scene because it was easier than using real money. There’s one in the British Museum. (M: I’d save so much money if it all had Tennant’s face on it.) (K: Truth.) Anyway, people leap all over the money, like Harry Potter trying to catch a Hogwarts letter. The Doctor scarpers.
In the taxi, Donna yells at the Santa that they’re going the wrong way. The Doctor rushes back to the TARDIS and bangs on the console panel. The TARDIS vworp vworps and he stares at a glowing red dot on a map of London. The taxi merges – poorly – onto the motorway. LOL, as if a London motorway would ever move that quickly. Especially on Christmas Eve!! Anyway, Donna yells at the driver to turn around, but Taxi Driver Santa ignores her. She pulls at its Santa hood and the mask falls away, revealing a robot underneath.
Donna tries to open the window without success, then starts hammering on the windows, screaming for help. In the TARDIS, things explode. The Doctor hammers – literally – on the console panel some more. Out the rear window of the taxi, Donna sees the TARDIS bouncing towards her along the motorway. The music turns triumphant, but she stares blankly and says “You are KIDDING me…” in this exasperated tone.
Mari: I love how the music is more sold on this moment than Donna. The music is so happy the hero is coming and Donna’s still on the “well, crap.” train. Fair.
K: YES. It was pretty great.
The TARDIS squeezes between cars and pulls along side the taxi. The Doctor kludges together something to keep the controls running, and rushes over to the door. He yells at Donna to open the door to the taxi. She yells back that she can’t. And also this:
He sonics it open, and tells her she has to jump. She freaks, and the robot taxi driver accelerates. The Doctor yanks on a string. More things explode on the console, but the TARDIS accelerates, smashing into a car as it tries to catch up to the taxi.
The TARDIS pulls along side the taxi, and the Doctor sonics the robot. Its hands clamp down on the steering wheel. The Doctor yells at Donna to jump because the robot needs her for something and it can’t be good. She reluctantly opens the door. He holds his arms out to catch her. Some small children in a passing car yell out for her to jump. The Doctor tells her to trust him, and Donna demands to know if that’s what he said to Rose. The Doctor tears up a little as he tells her that yes, Rose trusted him and that she’s still alive.
On a rooftop, Donna stares sadly at her watch as the Doctor hoses down the console panel with a fire extinguisher and confesses that the TARDIS doesn’t do much flying. He asks Donna if they’ve missed the wedding, and they have. She says it would be cool if he had a time machine so they could go back and do things right. He agrees that that would be totally cool, then awkwards that crossing your own timeline is a bad idea so it wouldn’t work anyway. Donna gives him bitchface.
She sits down on the edge of the building, and he takes off his jacket and wraps it around her shoulders. “God, you’re skinny. This wouldn’t fit a rat!” she says. He pulls a ring from his pocket and says it’ll hide her from the Santas because it’s a biodampener. “With this ring, I thee biodamp,” he says as he puts it on her finger. “For better or for worse…” Donna replies, and they smile at each other.
Okay, but like WHY DID THE DOCTOR HAVE A WEDDING BAND IN HIS POCKET DURING DOOMSDAY??????? MY SHIIIIIIIIIIIP.
Mari: That’s gosh-darn beautiful.
Ahem. Donna asks for the low down on the robot Santas, and he says they’re a basic robotic scavenger and that he met them the previous Christmas. Donna has no idea what happened the previous Christmas, because she was hella hungover. The Doctor nods in the direction of the Powell Estate and says he spent Christmas there last year with family. He trails off sadly. Donna studies him for a second, and asks about Rose. He changes the subject to the robots, wondering why they were interested in her.
He scans her with the sonic screwdriver, and says that she’s literally no one. Not special, or important, or clever, or well connected. “This friend of yours, just before she left, did she punch you in the face?” she asks, swatting the sonic aside. Legit, girl. He asks about her job, and she says she’s a secretary for H.C. Clements, which is where she met her fiance.
That throws us into a flashback of Donna looking overwhelmed at her fancy corporate job. Lance, her fiance, makes eye contact and gestures with the coffee pot, asking if she wants some. Back in the present, Donna smiles that he’s the head of HR but thought everyone else was stuck up too. We get a shot of them laughing and drinking coffee together. Donna says that’s how it all started.
Mari: It all started with some bad HR practices is all I’m saying.
K: As so many things do, I’m sure.
The Doctor asks how long they’ve known each other, and she says it’s only been six months. He thinks that’s pretty fast to be getting married, and Donna claims Lance insisted. We see her propose in a flashback and Lance looking panicky, then her pleading with him again and again and again. (M: Not a real big fan of this…) (K: NOPE.) The Doctor asks what H.C. Clements do, and she says it’s something about security systems, like a super fancy locksmith.
She sighs and declares that it’s time to face the consequences, like how devastated everyone will be about missing the fancy reception. We cut over there, and everyone’s having an awesome time. Lance is dancing with a tall blonde woman. Pan around to Donna looking super pissed. Everything grinds to a halt as people see her there. “You had the reception without me?!” she yells. The blonde gets an epic case of bitchface and says that everything was already paid for, so they figured they may as well.
Everyone crowds around Donna, demanding to know where she’s been. She looks to the Doctor for help, then bursts into loud fake tears. Everyone “awww”s at her. Lance hugs her. She winks at the Doctor, who hides a smirk. Sometime later, everyone’s having a good time. The Doctor smiles adorably, then borrows a totally cool 2006 flip phone off a guy at the bar. He types “H.C. Clements” into the browser – the one you’d always close in a total panic because you got charged a million dollars per megabyte – then furtively sonics the phone. (M: Override those extravagant charges.) It informs him that H.C. Clements is owned by Torchwood. He flips the phone shut thoughtfully.
He watches the crowd dance, and has Rose Feels Flashbacks when he sees a dark haired man dipping a blonde woman on the dance floor. He looks broken for a minute, then spots the videographer. He heads over there and the videographer shows him the footage from the wedding of Donna disappearing. He watches in surprise, and says it looks like huon particles, ancient energy that hasn’t existed for billions of years.
Suddenly, he realises that huon particles can’t be hidden by a biodampener. He rushes outside, and sees Santas surrounding the building. He dashes back into the reception and tells Donna that they’ve found her and they need to get everyone to safety. Except all the exits are blocked by Santas. One of them raises a little box like the remote control for a toy car, and the Doctor yells at everyone to get away from the Christmas trees decorating the room.
Donna’s mother declares him to be an idiot because Christmas trees are harmless, then she “aww”s as a bunch of baubles float off the tree and hang in the air as waltzy music plays. Then the baubles start exploding and everyone panics and screams. The Doctor ends up hiding behind the DJ’s equipment, and pops his head up to see a bunch of Santas with their brass instruments pointing at him.
He yells at them that they shouldn’t let people with sonic screwdrivers near the sound system. He jams the sonic into the console and everyone covers their ears from the resulting noise. Except the Santas, who just fall apart and crumple to the floor. He rushes over to them and quickly realises that there’s a secondary remote for the robots, someone’s been ordering them around. Donna asks him to help the injured people on account of being a doctor. “Gotta think of the bigger picture…” he says as he dashes off. (M: Ooof.) Donna’s mother demands to know who the Doctor is. Donna turns and follows him without answering.
Outside, Donna finds the Doctor sonic-ing the robot head. He says that there’s someone controlling the robots and that they need to find out who in order to find out why they’re after Donna. A few more sonic readings and he announces that the controller is somewhere up in the sky. Cut to a spider web-esque ship, floating above Earth. A beastie with a raspy female voice declares the Doctor to be very clever, and says she’s going to descend on Earth immediately. The camera pans outside to show us that the spaceship looks a hell of a lot like a star drawn by a five year old.
The Doctor rushes up to Donna and says they need to get to H.C. Clements. He demands that Lance give them a lift. We cut to H.C. Clements, where the Doctor starts wibbling about how they’re owned by Torchwood. Donna asks what that is, and it turns out she has no memory of the Cyberman invasion/Daleks over London/Battle of Canary Wharf thing. The Doctor’s shocked, but says he thinks someone’s taken over from Torchwood.
Donna still doesn’t understand what’s happening. The Doctor tells her that she was exposed to huon particles, and the only other place those exist is in the heart of a TARDIS. When the particles activated at the wedding, they became magnetised to the particles in the TARDIS and that’s how she appeared there. Um. Okay? (M: I mean, it’s an explanation.)
The Doctor asks Lance if the company were working on anything secret, and Lance is all “Fucked if I know”. The Doctor sonics a computer and realises that the schematics show a basement level, but there’s a button in the lift marked “Lower Basement”. See, this is why Wolfram & Hart had that “push lift buttons in secret order until White Room button appears” password protection on their big secret lair thing.
Mari: Obviously more secret than LOWER BASEMENT. We know basements are evil and then you tacked on LOWER.
K: It’s the Basement of No Seriously Don’t Go In There!
The Lower Basement button needs a key, but not if you’ve got a sonic screwdriver. The Doctor bids farewell to Donna and Lance, saying that he can take it from here. But Donna says she’s not letting him out of her sight because he keeps saving her life. She jumps in the lift too. Lance suggests going to the LOLPD, but Donna orders him into the lift. They head down to the secret basement.
In space, the spider-y monster says the bride’s approaching and “she is my key!“. Oh, please. We’ve already had one human key on the blog, must we have another?
Mari: Probably not, but it’s Donna so it’s cool. Plus, I couldn’t choose between Donna and Dawn anyways.
K: True.
The lift doors open in the secret basement, and they find themselves in a green lit soggy corridor. The Doctor gets all excited when he spots transport, and we cut to them zooming along on Segways looking weirdly serious. Then Donna cracks up, and the Doctor can’t help but follow.
They stop at a random doorway. The Doctor opens it, and tells them to wait there while he gets his bearings. He climbs up a ladder and out a hatch, and finds himself on top of the Thames Barrier. He heads back to Donna and Lance, and fills them in. Donna’s shocked about Torchwood having a secret base under a major landmark, and the Doctor sighs a little.
They head into the secret base, and the Doctor rushes around fanboying over things. He realises they’ve been making huon particles, and says that the Time Lords outlawed them because they unravel the atomic structure. Donna looks worried. Somehow, the Thames is involved?? IDK IDK. Anyway, the Doctor grabs a little bottle of water, and twists something at the top. The contents glow and so does Donna. He says the particles are inert unless they’re in something living. That something is Donna.
He suddenly realises something and starts yelling about hormones and endorphins and how Donna’s wedding is massively significant to the huon particles. She slaps him, and asks if she’s safe. He says she is, but she demands to know why the Time Lords got rid of huon particles. “Because they were deadly,” he says sadly. He promises to sort it out because he’s not going to lose someone else.
The spider-y monster’s voice announces that Donna’s been lost for ages now. A huge metal door creaks open in front of them, and reveals another room of the secret base. Spider Woman says she’s been hiding out at the edge of the universe waiting until “the secret heart was uncovered and called to waken“. Black robed robots turn en masse and point their guns at the Doctor and Donna. Lance makes a run for it.
There’s a giant hole in the middle of the room, and I’m pretty sure they recycled it from The Satan Pit. (M: A nefarious hole for every occasion.) The Doctor asks how far down it goes and Spider Woman says it goes all the way to the centre. The Doctor’s all “What. Why?”, then says that only crazy people talk to thin air and demands to know where Spider Woman is. “High in the sky,” she replies. We cut to her star shaped spaceship floating over the Earth.
The Doctor taunts her some more, and she asks who he is. When he does his usual “I’m the Doctor” routine, she tells him to prepare his best medicines because a smackdown is coming. I may have added that last bit. She teleports down to the secret basement, and we can see that she’s like a centaur but with a spider body instead of a horse body. IDK, guys, that’s the best I can do. Also, she hisses a lot and has six eyes. It’s weird. (M: A lot weird.)
The Doctor declares her to be one of the Racnoss, and she says she’s Empress of the Racnoss. He asks where the rest are, and infodumps that the Racnoss are from the dark times and ate literally everything, including entire planets. Meanwhile, Lance is still running. Donna’s grossed out by the idea of spider monsters that eat people. The Doctor asks if Mr Clements wore spats, and Donna chuckles that it was a running joke. He points up at a spiderweb on the ceiling with a pair of shoes sticking out of it. Mr Clements’ shoes. The Empress says he’s her Christmas dinner.
As the Doctor says that it’s impossible for her to be there because the Racnoss were wiped out, Donna spots Lance crawling through a tunnel behind the Empress. Also, I think I’m going to have to give the Doctor the Inigo Montoya treatment because he uses the word “impossible” WAY too much.
Lance grabs an axe and creeps towards the Empress. Donna distracts the Empress by demanding to know how she fits into it all. Lance raises the axe. The Empress turns towards him. They both freeze. Then Lance starts laughing. The Empress does too. Donna’s confused. Lance complains about how he’s spent months putting up with her stupidity. The Doctor apologises, and tells her that Lance was dosing her with huon particles in the coffee he made her every day. (M: Beware of office coffee.)
Donna’s still confused because they were getting married. Lance says he had to say yes because he couldn’t risk Donna running off and ruining his plans. He rants about how horrible and stupid and fat Donna is some more, and I want to give her a hug. Donna says that she loves him, and Lance smirks “That’s what made it easy“. Oof.
Mari: He doesn’t really accuse Donna of being anything but rather “normal” and it makes my heart ache for her.
K: YUP.
He talks about how the Empress will give him the chance to leave Earth and see the universe, so he has zero fucks to give about what happens to humanity.
The Doctor asks what’s down the dirty great hole in the Earth, and apparently Lance and the Empress reject the teachings of the Big Book of Villain gloating. She tells her robots to kill the Doctor because all they need is Donna. But the Doctor points out that if the huon particles can make Donna appear in the TARDIS, they can also work the other way around. He twists the dial on top of the bottle of water, and the TARDIS appears around him and Donna as the robots fire.
The Doctor rushes over to the console panel, and they vworp vworp away as the Empress screams in frustration. In the TARDIS, the Doctor tells Donna he was lying about not having a time machine, and says they need to go find out why the Empress is drilling down to the centre of the Earth. Donna sits and cries silently. Back in the secret basement, the Empress tells Lance that if you lose a key, you get another one cut. The robots turn and point their guns at him. He freaks.
Mari: I never understand how double-crossers never seen their own double-crossing coming.
K: Too busy reading the Big Book of Villain Gloating.
Back in the TARDIS, Donna dries her tears when the Doctor says they’ve arrived. He asks if she wants to see, and she reluctantly joins him at the door. “Donna Noble, welcome to the creation of the Earth,” he says as he opens the doors. She looks out in awe at space and a bunch of rocks floating about. He points at the sun, and says it’s brand new. Donna says sadly that it puts the wedding into perspective, and that Lance was right – humans are totally insignificant. The Doctor disagrees, and says they’re the only ones who can make sense out of everything.
He says that the Earth was formed because one rock drew the others to it, and that made the planet. They’re there to find out what that first rock was. Just then, a star shaped spaceship appears through a dust cloud. Yes, friends. The Earth is basically a Kinder Egg with a shiny Racnoss toy in the middle. (M: A+)
Meanwhile, the Empress is pouring huon particle water down Lance’s throat to turn him into a key. He starts glowing.
The TARDIS lurches, and the Doctor yells that they’re being pulled back to the present day courtesy of the particles. Donna yells at the Doctor to do something. The Empress shoves Lance up on the cobwebby ceiling. The TARDIS reappears, and the Doctor hits an extrapolater with a hammer. The TARDIS vanishes and reappears in a corridor. The Doctor and Donna start running as the Empress screams at her robots to find them.
Donna asks what the particles in her do. The Doctor starts a rambly explanation while listening at a door with a stethoscope. He says that the Racnoss are in hibernation and need the huon particles to be in a living thing in order to wake up. As he’s talking, a robot captures Donna and drags her away. He realises and sonics the door open. There’s a robot standing on the other side, waiting for him.
Meanwhile, Donna’s on the ceiling next to Lance. She hisses that she hates him. The Empress orders her robots to activate the particles. Lance and Donna start glowing. Then the glowy particles zoom out of them and down the giant hole. The Empress says that “they will waken“. Donna demands to know what’s down there, and the Empress hisses “my children, the long lost Racnoss“. She says something about the web star, and her spaceship floats towards Earth.
The Empress says that her babies will need food, and Lance starts yelling that she should use Donna. Apparently the Empress doesn’t stand for fuckwittery, so she releases Lance from the web and he falls from the ceiling straight down the hole. BYE LANCE. Meanwhile, the spaceship is floating down over London and everyone gets excited because, you know, Christmas. But LOL NOPE. The star fires lasers at them and everyone panics and runs.
A robot walks slowly up some stairs as the Empress gloats about how her children are climbing towards her. Obviously, the robot is the Doctor in a mask. He tells Donna that he’s got her, and sonics the web holding her to the ceiling. She swings free and thuds to the floor. The Doctor offers to find a planet for the Racnoss where they can live in peace, but the Empress is all “Hahahahaha, NO.”
She orders the robots to shoot, and the Doctor tells them to relax. They all slump. Donna asks what he did. “Guess what I’ve got, Donna? Pockets!” the Doctor says. Jeez, jerk. No need to rub it in that men’s clothes come with pockets that are actually useful. He pulls out the robot remote control, and Donna asks how he got that in his pocket. Apparently they’re bigger on the inside. Yet another totally unfair disparity between male and female clothing. Sigh.
K: YES. This is true. I totally forgot about Hermione’s purse!
The Empress glares and says that the robots aren’t really necessary and her children can eat martian flesh instead. The Doctor says that he’s not from Mars. She asks where he’s from. “My home planet is far away and long since gone. But its name lives on. Gallifrey.” HALLELUJAH, WE FINALLY HAVE OUR FIRST MENTION OF GALLIFREY BY NAME AND I CAN STOP REFERRING TO IT AS “The Doctor’s home planet”.
Mari: THIS IS THE FIRST TIME? What a gem to drop in a Christmas special! Especially in an episode where being from Mars is a running joke. Not from Mars, but from Gallifrey.
K: THIS IS THE FIRST TIME. I know because way back in series 1, I wanted to know when we could call it Gallifrey, so did a search through every episode transcript one by one. This is the first time it’s mentioned by name.
The Empress shrieks and says that his people are responsible for killing off the Racnoss. He says coldly that he warned her, and she only has herself to blame. He releases handfuls of the exploding Christmas baubles from Donna’s wedding reception, and they zoom around the room. They blow holes in the walls, letting the river water flood in. The water vanishes down the hole into the centre of the Earth as the Empress screams for her children. It shows us how dark the Doctor can get when he loses the people he cares about.
Mari: I think it’s because he originally lost everyone he cares about that he’s got this dark and unforgiving, “look at the bigger picture” side. Having a Rose, or any companion, around soften hims and lets him recall his humanity. It’s not that he’s dark right now because Rose is gone. It’s that he’s been dark for a long time, now with no Rose to pull him back.
K: Excellent point.
Donna yells at him to stop, and he looks at the scene he’s created. He tells Donna it’s time for them to leave. They escape up a flight of stairs. The Empress yells “Transport me!” and reappears on her star ship. She starts yelling about how the planet is going to suffer. As they climb a ladder to the surface, Donna asks what will happen to the Empress. The Doctor says she’s used all her huon energy and she’s defenceless.
A bunch of tanks rolls through the streets of London. On orders from Mr Saxon – which I mention only because it’s total season 3 foreshadowing – they take aim, and blows the Empress out of the sky just as Donna and the Doctor climb onto the top of the Thames Barrier. Donna points out that they’ve drained the Thames, and boat horns sound as they laugh together.
Later, the TARDIS materialises outside Donna’s house. He scans her with the sonic and tells her that all the huon particles have gone and she’s totally fine. Right, except for the part where she found out her fiance was only with her for evil reasons, then had to watch him die, and also found out that aliens were real, and saw the Earth being formed, and then watched you commit genocide. But sure. She’s totally fine.
The Doctor says there was no way for him to save Lance, and Donna says he deserved it. The Doctor raises an eyebrow, and Donna sighs and says Lance didn’t deserve it. She says she should get inside to her parents, and the Doctor says it’s a good Christmas present for them, then remembers that she hates Christmas. He asks if Christmas would be better with snow, then hits a button in the TARDIS, which fires off a yellow beam of light. Suddenly it’s snowing.
Mari: We got genocide and “snow” last Christmas too! It’s practically tradition.
K: Snowy genocide for all! Wait…
Donna laughs excitedly and the Doctor grins. She wishes him a Merry Christmas, and he asks what she’s going to do now. She says she’s going to go out there and see the world. He suggests that she could travel with him, but she says she can’t do that all the time. The running and the screaming and the occasional genocide. “I mean, you scare me to death!” she says. Then she invites him to Christmas dinner.
He insists he doesn’t do that, and she says he did last year. He looks pained, then agrees. He says he’s just got to park the TARDIS properly, and heads inside. The TARDIS starts to vworp vworp away, and Donna yells “DOCTOR!!“. He pops his head out the door and says “Blimey, you can shout!“. She smiles at him sadly and asks if she’ll ever see him again. If he’s lucky, yes. She tells him to find someone to travel with. He insists he doesn’t need anyone, but Donna says he does. He needs someone to stop him sometimes.
This episode’s rough at times, but I really like it. I love the relationship between Donna and the Doctor, that almost instant friendship that’s full of snide remarks. Sure, the whole giant spider spaceship at the centre of the Earth plot is kind of dumb, but it’s a Christmas special. They’ve never really got a decent plot. So yeah. It’s probably not great in the grand scheme of Doctor Who episodes, but I adore Donna Noble with every fibre of my being, so this one’s definitely in the win column for me.
Mari: To exactly no one’s surprise, this is yet another episode where the plot fails and the characters shine. The Doctor drowns a bunch of spider aliens at the center of the earth with exploding baubles. He kills a bunch of aliens with exploding baubles. Sometimes I’m just amazed at what this show attempts to pull off. We talk often about how silly it can be and about how this is a children’s show, but damn does it sometimes strike a dark cord. So, yes the “bad guys” are defeated with Christmas decorations and what we mean by “defeated” here is in fact genocide.
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
The alien was awful. All of her lines were terrible. I don’t really want to talk about it.
I loved Donna during this episode, though I’m curious if everyone does. She’s brash and loud and spends a lot of the first half screaming. The first time she exasperatedly says, “POCKETS!” though, I’m sold. I love it when characters don’t instantly fall head over heels with everything Doctor. And I can’t imagine I’d be any less calm if I’d ended up on a spaceship on my wedding day. Catherine Tate is wonderful, Tennant did a good job here playing both the heartbreak and how he had to focus on the task at hand. I was upset about losing Rose on first watch, but I liked that while this episode instantly moved on (what else could the show do?) it doesn’t forget Rose.
I imagine this will end up staying somewhere in the middle of this season’s ranking.
K: I thought it would be near the top for me. Then I looked at what’s coming up in series 3, and wowsers. Maybe not near the top. It’s a good series, guys. Hold on to your hats.
Next time on Doctor Who: Series 3 starts for realsies when we get a new new companion in S03 E01 – Smith and Jones.
I'm a 30-something librarian and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. Leader of Team Heartless Cow. I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and read more than is good for me.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
