Doctor Who S03 E08 – The single heart life.

Previously: The Doctor and Martha met a sun that was alive and wanted everyone to play with it. In a Shining-esque way.
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Human Nature

Kirsti: Martha and the Doctor burst into the TARDIS, explosions following them. The Doctor asks frantically if “they” saw Martha’s face. She insists that they couldn’t have. They set off through time and space, but the unnamed “they” follows, thanks to some stolen technology. The Doctor looks panicky as he realises “they” can follow him anywhere. “I’ll have to do it,” he says. He grabs a pocket watch and waves it at Martha, saying that his life depends on it. He talks directly into the camera as he starts to say more about the watch.

But the scene is abruptly cut off when he wakes in an Edwardian wood panelled room, and wearing a scratchy looking pair of striped pyjamas. He gets out of bed just as there’s a knock at the door. Martha, in a maid’s outfit, walks in carrying a tray of breakfast stuff. She greets him as “Mr Smith” and apologises for coming in before he’s dressed.

As she opens the curtains and pours the tea, he tells her – and his voice is very BBC costume drama somehow – that sometimes he has these weird dreams that he’s an adventurer called The Doctor and that in last night’s dream, she was there. Martha says a teacher and a housemaid as companions is impossible, but he points out that in his dreams, he’s from another world.

He picks up the pocket watch from the mantelpiece and looks thoughtful. Martha looks hopeful. Then he puts the watch down and tells her that the dream took place in 2007. Martha pulls out a newspaper and tells him that it’s 10 November 1913 and he’s one thousand per cent human. He nods in agreement and the zoomy cameraman gets carried away as Mr Smith gives a little grin.

Marines: Just a little weird in-Snark-Squad match up, but the recap we got up today for Supernatural is about the Winchesters waking up in “normal” lives too. IT’S NORMAL HUMAN LIVES DAY ON SNARK SQUAD! Celebrate your normalness and your human-ness and probably have some weird dreams that you are an adventurer or hunter tonight. It’s the only way to observe the holiday I JUST made up.

K: NORMALITY FOR ALL!

DOO WEE OOO!

After the credits, we see the union flag being raised as a group of boys in Etonian uniforms march – literally – through the grounds of a school that seems to be operated out of a former posh house. Much like my school in England, really…

It’s all accompanied by the strains of choirboys singing To Be a Pilgrim, which my brother and I always particularly liked singing in chapel choir because it includes the line “Hobgoblin nor foul fiend can daunt his spirit”, which is about as interesting as hymns get.

Anysegue, Mr Smith, clad in academic robes, walks into the building, greets the similarly clad headmaster, and then we get a few brief shots of him teaching a class about Napoleon, still accompanied by choirboys. Martha, meanwhile, is scrubbing floors with another housemaid. Mr Smith rudely walks right through the bit they’ve just scrubbed and Martha looks wistfully after him.

The other housemaid, Jenny (who, incidentally, played Bessie in the Toby Stephens version of Jane Eyre) (M: Yessss), wants to know why Martha’s so swoony about him, and Martha says she’s not. He’s just kind to her, which a lot of people aren’t on account of her being black and this being 1913. This point is immediately proved by a couple of snobby teenagers asking how she can tell when things are clean given how dirty her skin is. One of the teens is Viserys Targaryen, which certainly explains his attitude and how badly he needs to be slapped. Martha sasses a little, and Jenny warns her to be careful because kids like that will be running the country soon. Martha thinks wistfully of World War I.

Mari: This was the first of many moments this episode when I was like, “trapped while black in 1913? Martha Jones is actually a saint.”

K: Truth.

Upstairs, Mr Smith bumps into the school matron and drops his pile of books. They make moon eyes at each other and awkwardly flirt, 1913 style. She helps him carry his stack of books and asks him to call her Joan when it’s just the two of them. She also lets slip that he came to the school two months ago and that his first name is John. She points out a flyer for the local village dance, which is taking place the following evening, and basically begs him to ask her. John Smith awkwards and stutters and falls down the stairs.

Cut to Joan examining his head wound. Martha bursts in to ask if he’s okay, and Joan informs her that it’s inappropriate to enter without knowing. Martha sarcastically stomps over the door and knocks on it. Legit, girl.

   She asks if Joan’s checked for concussion, and Joan’s all “bitch, please. I’m a nurse and know more than you”.

Mari: I’m surprised she manages to ONLY get in the sarcastic knocking. You know she’s just bubbling over with all kinds of sarcastic replies.

K: She must have been hoarding them up for the past however long. Because seriously, how could you not?

John Smith starts talking about his dreams again and how he keeps dreaming he has two hearts. Joan picks up a stethoscope and confirms that he only has one. They make moon eyes some more, and Martha makes amazing judgey faces in the background.

He says that he’s been writing his dreams down as fiction, and Joan says she’d love to see them. He hands over a book, titled A Journal of Impossible Things and she flips through it. Martha tries to be sneaky about wanting to see it. It’s full of scribble as well as sketches of the TARDIS console and Daleks and people with gas mask faces. And Rose. OH GOD MY FEELS. Joan says he’s got an eye for pretty girls, and John Smith replies “Oh no, no, she’s just an invention. This character, Rose. I call her, Rose. Seems to disappear later on.” Ow, my heart.

Martha peers some more as Joan leafs through more pages, featuring Cybermen and the TARDIS and all the past Doctors. Martha looks feelsy when he talks about the blue box and how he wishes stories like this were true. A school bell rings, and Martha darts after Joan, who’s carrying the journal, and tells her that it’s just silliness. Joan tells Martha to be careful because she sometimes seems too familiar with John Smith, and she needs to remember her place. Martha mutters a sarcastic “yes, ma’am” and leaves.

Mari: The whole “remember your place” is obviously an icky station in life thing, but the warning to be careful of becoming too familiar with John Smith is just a warning for Martha in general.

K: YUP.

In a dormitory, one of the douchey boys demands that FREAKING THOMAS BRODIE-SANGSTER (that kid is in EVERYTHING) (M: And another Game of Thrones alum! He played Jojen Reed.) do his Latin homework. Then he starts telling Viserys Targaryen about how his father has a new job with more money and he’ll probably get to attend a better school. Latimer (Brodie-Sangster) says Africa’s the bomb, and Douchey Boy slams him up against a wall because he never mentioned Africa but it’s totally where his father’s job is. Latimer insists that he’s just good at guessing and is released. He says that sometimes he says things that turn out to be true, but he has no idea how he does it. The douches look at him like he’s crazy, then Viserys Targaryen squeezes out the window to go on a beer run.

Outside a pub, Martha and Jenny knock back a few pints sitting in the beer garden, despite the fact that it’s night time and also freezing. But apparently womenfolk aren’t allowed to drink inside the pub. Martha adds this to her mental list of bullshit things about 1913, and says wistfully that she’s only got to get through another month and then she’ll be off to see the stars. She wishes Jenny could go with her. Jenny laughs because LOL SPACE TRAVEL.

Just then, there’s a flash of green light in the sky. Martha looks worried, but Jenny insists there’s nothing there. Cut to Joan walking alone through the dark. A bright green light hits her and there’s a high pitched buzzing noise. Then the light passes over her and she watches as it wanders off over the hills, UFO tractor beam style. She looks confused, then runs off.

She ends up at the pub, and asks if Martha and Jenny saw the light. John Smith comes out of the pub to greet them in time to see it streaking across the sky. He says it’s just a meteorite and Joan sighs in relief. He says he’ll escort them back to the school, but Martha insists that she and Jenny are fine. Once John and Joan have gone, she runs off in the direction the “meteorite” took and Jenny’s all “WTF” but follows.

Mari: Someone named Martha chasing a “meteorite” but it’s probably really an alien? SUPERMAN?

K: The light hovers near Viserys Targaryen on his beer raid in the woods. He’s transfixed by it. Then the light vanishes. He walks towards it and discovers a force field around an invisible object. He manages to push his way through, and vanishes once he’s through the force field. Of course, he vanishes just before Martha and Jenny run up. Martha eyes the empty field dejectedly, and Jenny’s all “Can we go? It’s fucking freezing.”

Inside the alien ship – because of course it’s an alien ship – Viserys Targaryen sits on the floor and says he’d really rather like to leave. Some creepy voices are all “LOL NOPE” and introduce themselves as “the Family“. Viserys Targaryen stupidly says he wants to see what they look like, and then he screams.

Mari: Viserys Targaryen is known for saying stupid things.

K: Clearly, it’s what Viserys Targaryen does best.

Back in the dormitory, Latimer is polishing shoes as the clock chimes. The older boys wonder where the fuck Viserys Targaryen is, and just then there’s a knock at the window. Someone lets him in, and he’s totally creeptastic – all jerky head tilts and unblinking stares and sniffing the air. Latimer’s weirded out but the others don’t seem to notice anything different.

The next day, Martha rides her bike through the woods to an old barn. She heads inside and grins happily when she sees the TARDIS. She unlocks the door and heads inside. She looks around wistfully and has flashbacks to the teaser. But with extra information – the Doctor tells her that “they” can track him all through time and space because he’s unique. So he has to stop being a Time Lord. Back in the present, Martha stares sadly up at a metal doohickey hanging from the ceiling that looks like it was stolen from Charles Xavier’s Cerebro.

Another flashback. The Doctor tells her it’s a Chameleon Arch, and it will totally rewrite his biology, including a full back story and integration into society. But it can’t do that for her. She’ll have to improvise. (M: OF COURSE.) Also, it’s going to hurt him. A lot. He fixes Cerebro to his head and proceeds to scream extensively as his Time Lord-iness gets transferred into the pocket watch.

Back in the present, she crosses to the TARDIS console and brings up a video of the Doctor rattling off important instructions about what to do. She smiles when he reaches number 4 – “Don’t let me abandon you“, then fast forwards while asking what she’s meant to do in case of a meteor shower. The last instruction is to open the watch in case of an emergency. But to be, like, legit sure it’s an emergency because once it’s open “the Family will be able to find me“. He thanks her for doing this, and Martha sadly wishes he’d come back.

At school, there’s a knock on John Smith’s door. It’s Latimer, come to collect a book. As John Smith searches for it, he says that Latimer’s grades could be better. Latimer hears whispery voices coming from the pocket watch, and picks it up. As the whispery voices get louder, he opens it and an orange glow hits his face. Out in the grounds, Viserys Targaryen spins around looking creepily excited.

John Smith returns with the book and Latimer quickly shoves the watch in his pocket and tries to look innocent. As John Smith hands the book over, Latimer hears the Doctor’s voice say “The power of a Time Lord” and gets a vision of him, all pinstripe suit-y and sonic screwdriver waving-y. He insists that he’s fine and rushes off to the dormitory. There, he opens the watch again, and some more orange Time Lord energy floats out. He has visions of Daleks and Cybermen and Ood and all manner of monsters. Outside, Viserys Targaryen sniffs dramatically.

Downstairs, a teacher rings a bell and says that class is starting. Viserys Targaryen loiters as everyone heads into class, then ducks under the stairs. His eyes roll back in his head and his face glows green. He telepathically tells the Family that the trail is all over the fucking place but that they should arm themselves anyway. He stares directly into the camera and says “Activate the soldiers” with a disturbing amount of glee.

Cut to a rather spherical man walking through the fields. He passes a scarecrow and sees its arm move. He assumes it’s one of the students in disguise and yells that they’re trespassing. He stomps over and shoves his hand inside the scarecrow’s shirt, but only finds straw. He looks confused, then realises that he’s now surrounded by truly terrifying scarecrows. He screams for help. Elsewhere, a girl far too old to be walking with a balloon is walking with a balloon. A scarecrow grabs her and she screams.

Mari: I have no idea why the hell these aliens would have scarecrow soldiers but it’s awful. NO THANK YOU SCARECROWS.

K: EXACTLY.

Back at the school, the boys are shooting machine guns at buckets on sticks. Aaaaah, cadet corps. My little brother was in cadets for all of a year before he realised that it sucked and he couldn’t master marching. The headmaster gets all judgey about Latimer’s ability to feed ammo belts, but Latimer says it’s hard to do his best when their targets – who represent “tribesmen from the dark continent” ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh – only have spears. The headmaster hopes that one day Latimer will have to prove himself in war.

With that, Latimer finds himself in the trenches in World War I, mortars whining overhead. Douchey Boy’s with him, and Latimer looks at the pocket watch before saying “This is the time. It’s now“. He stares up at the sky as a mortar whines, and then he’s suddenly back at school as the gun stops firing. Douchey Boy says Latimer’s useless and is granted permission to give him a beating. Viserys Targaryen sniffs creepily at John Smith as he passes.

John Smith greets Joan, who I totally forgot to mention is there, and she looks freaked out as she says she’ll give his journal back soon. He says there’s no rush, and she says apologetically that she’s thinking about the day her husband was shot. She rushes off.

Cut to the village, where two men are struggling to lift a piano into a first floor window with a rope and pulley. We get a nice long shot of it to emphasise that this will be important. John Smith and Joan walk through the village and she tells him about her husband. He died during the Boer War and she spent so long being angry at the Army that she can’t quite deal with seeing teenage boys taught how to kill. She mentions that one of his stories is about 1914 and it’s full of mud and wire and a shadow falling across the world.

He assures her that it’s not true, and he hopes that the world can find heroes in smaller places than war. Just then, the rope holding the piano in the air frays and the piano drops slightly towards a woman with a pram. John Smith trails off as he talks, and we cut between the woman, the piano, a little boy with a cricket ball, and John Smith’s face. He grabs the cricket ball and throws it. After bouncing off a bunch of stuff, it knocks over a milk can, which lodges under the wheels of the pram and stops it from moving. The piano falls and smashes. Everyone gasps, the baby cries.

John Smith declares it to be luck, and invites Joan to the dance that night. She calls him an extraordinary man and laughs. (M: Baby almost dying- HILAR.) As they walk back to school, she says she’s realised the Doctor is the man he wants to be, doing impossible things and attracting all the ladies. He insists that’s not him, and walks over to a scarecrow to tie its arm back to the wooden bar. Joan asks where he learnt to draw, and he says “Gallifrey” without even thinking. She asks if that’s in Ireland, and he has no idea.

    He does know that his father was a watchmaker named Sidney and his mother was a nurse named Verity though. He finishes fixing the scarecrow and they carry on their way. The music gets all slasher movie as the scarecrow turns its head to watch them go.

Later, in his study, John Smith sketches Joan. She looks at the finished product and says he’s made her far too beautiful because widows aren’t meant to be beautiful. He says that’s how he sees her, and they kiss. They’re interrupted by Martha. John Smith yells at her to knock before coming into his study, and she rushes out. She slams the door behind her and leans against it tearfully, saying “This wasn’t on the list“.

TARDIS. Martha cries as she watches the Doctor’s video again and wonders why he had to fall in love with a human who wasn’t her. (M: Ugggh stoooooop. I would’ve been okay without sappy… “that wasn’t me.”) (K: YUP TIMES INFINITY) Back at the school, Latimer sits on a bench and hears more whispery voices coming from the pocket watch. He looks up in time to see Viserys Targaryen walk over to Spherical Man and Balloon Girl. All three of them do the creepy head tilt and sniff thing, and Latimer’s all “NOPE”.

Mari: I like that the alien was like, “better keep carrying around this balloon! It must be important.”

K: “Can’t be a convincing small child without a balloon!”. Also, I’m suddenly wondering if helium balloons were a thing in 1913. The internet proved unhelpful on this, but considering the first helium factories seem to have gone into production during World War I, my money’s on NOPE.

Meanwhile, Jenny’s riding her bike when she gets stopped by scarecrows. She screams. Cut to her inside the spaceship, crying and saying she doesn’t understand. Viserys Targaryen tells her that his mother needs a body. He carries over a glowing green ball, which promptly turns into a green gas and possesses her. Womp.

That night, Joan twirls in her party dress, and John Smith tells her she looks wonderful. She asks if he can dance, and he has no idea. All he’s certain of is them. Meanwhile, Jenny returns to the room she shares with Martha and sniffs creepily. Martha starts babbling about how she wishes she could do something about John Smith and Joan, because he’s just going to leave and break her heart. Jenny is suddenly very interested and Martha twigs that something’s wrong. She suggests making tea with sardines and jam in the pot, and Jenny’s all “Yum yum, yes please”.

Martha says she’ll be right back, but once she’s out the door, she starts running. Jenny shoots at her through the window with a ray gun. Martha bursts into John Smith’s room and interrupts some more kissing. She says they’ve been found and they have to open the watch. She searches the mantelpiece for it, but it’s gone. She calls John Smith “Doctor” and he decides she’s deranged and can’t separate fact from fiction. (M: Because she’s black.) She slaps him to try and get him to be Doctor-y again and he fires her before shoving her into the corridor.

Martha runs out of the school and bumps into Latimer on her way. He has a vision of her in her 2007 clothes, and calls after her in confusion. She tells him she’s busy. She heads to the TARDIS and starts searching the Doctor’s pockets. Meanwhile, Jenny and Viserys Targaryen kick in the door of John Smith’s room and do some investigating. They decide that he might know something.

John Smith and Joan arrive at the village dance. As they head in, Joan warns him that Martha’s totally infatuated with him. Latimer watches them from around a corner as they donate coins to a veteran of the Crimean War. Latimer sneaks past him as he counts his coins. Inside, a waltz starts up, and John Smith is surprised to find he can dance. Back at the school, Spherical Man walks into John Smith’s room with the flyer for the dance.

Jenny grins creepily and says that makes it easy because Balloon Girl is already there. Martha arrives at the dance, and the veteran tries to send her to the staff entrance. She’s all “LOL NOPE” and pushes past him.

Scarecrows lurk in the bushes. Inside, John Smith is waiting by the drinks table. Martha sits down with Joan, who’s all “uuuuuugh”. Martha makes a big spiel about how he’s different from every other man and how you can see when you look in his eyes that there’s something hidden away inside him.

Joan pleads ignorance but she’s totally lying. Martha apologises for what she’s about to do. John Smith returns and is all “Martha, WTF”. She pulls out the sonic screwdriver and asks if he knows what it is. He looks confused, then takes it and studies it carefully. Martha tells him that the Doctor is real and that he’s the Doctor. Balloon Girl looks up and smiles creepily.

Viserys Targaryen, Spherical Man, and Jenny arrive at the dance. The veteran asks for money, and they’re all “LOL NOPE” and blast him into dust with a ray gun. Latimer pulls back a curtain and there’s a scarecrow standing right outside. Unlike me, he doesn’t almost wet his pants in fear. He just looks mildly surprised. (M: Most unrealistic thing that’s happened all episode.) The Family march in with the scarecrows behind them, and demand that everyone STFU because they have questions to ask Mr Smith. Balloon Girl fills them in on him being the Doctor.

They all sniff at him, and are all “ew, human”. They need a Time Lord. Viserys Targaryen pulls out his ray gun and orders John Smith to change back. He’s all “WTF are you talking about?”. When that fails, Jenny threatens to shoot Martha. Jenny blabs about John Smith’s relationship with Joan, and Spherical Man puts a ray gun to her head. Viserys Targaryen smirks creepily, and tells John Smith it’s decision time: “Which one of them do you want us to kill? Maid or matron? Your friend or your lover? Your choice.”

TO BE CONTINUED.

I really like this two part story. It’s kind of hard to judge at this point, and there are definitely ways in which this could be a better story (like having him fall for Martha, and her having to make the decision to bring back the Doctor, or containing a little less racism). But I love Martha having to basically survive on her own, and it’s fabulously creepy. All of which is in the win column.

Mari: We always run into this with the two parters! We just need to wait until next episode to really express all the feelings. I’ll just emphasize that Martha is wonderful and so brave and bless her. David Tennant gives a really good turn as John Smith, something we’ll see more of next episode as well. And finally, here is a thing I came across while looking for gifs. In case there is anyone out there who hasn’t seen it:

 

Next time on Doctor Who: Will the Doctor be John Smith forever? Find out in S03 E09 – Family of Blood.