Supernatural S04 E16 – Get on with it

Previously: The boys stopped a seal from breaking, but Pamela had to die for it.
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On the Head of a Pin

Kirsti: We open to a bunch of car alarms going off. The cars are all smashed to shit. Castiel walks into the middle of them and raises a hand. The alarms stop, because he’s…the car whisperer or some shit? I don’t even know any more. (M: A little known and seldom useful angel power.)

Cas walks through the cars, looking like a sad puppy, and stops by the corpse of a blonde woman in a pretty white virginal dress. He pulls a piece of cloth away from her throat to reveal a bloody wound. “Goodbye, sister,” he says sadly. Police cars speed towards him, sirens blaring. But he’s gone when they arrive. Their flashlights pan over the dead woman, and one of the cops says “…what the hell??“. The camera pulls back and we see that there are outspread wings burned onto the bitumen on either side of her. You know, in case you hadn’t already realised she was an angel.

Marines: The shot was really pretty though!

K: True. At least there’s that.

CREEPY BIRDS!

After the Not Credits, the Bromobile speeds through the night. They’re on their way to meet Ruby, who Sam says has some leads on Lilith, and Dean’s all Grumpy Cat about it. He’s sick of burying their friends. Sam tells him to get angry instead. They arrive at the Motel of the Week, which Dean calls “home, crappy home“, only to find Cas and Uriel in their room waiting for them. Uriel says they’re needed.

Dean’s all “NOPE I AM DONE WITH YOUR SHIT” and Sam intervenes to say that they just got back from Pamela’s funeral. Dean snaps that Cas probably remembers her on account of burning her eyeballs out. Cas looks awkward. (M: Never gonna live that down, sorry bro.) Dean and Uriel yell at each other some more, and Cas tries to intervene. Eventually, Uriel gets to the point: seven angels have been murdered. They want the boys to find the demon responsible.

Sam’s all “How the fuck are we supposed to handle a demon with the power to kill angels?” and Cas says that they’ll take over once they find the demon. Oh, and BTW, if Dean could please torture Alastair and get him to talk, that’d be swell. Dean refuses, and says Cas can’t ask him to do this. Uriel smirks and tells Dean that they’re not asking. Dean turns to look at Sam, and Sam looks back. Then the camera angle changes, and there’s a feathery sound and Sam’s standing alone in the motel room. “DAMMIT!” he yells.

Mari: It makes ZERO SENSE that the angels would ask Dean to do this. I call total BS on the fact that there isn’t one damn angel that can extract information out of Alastair. I hate it.

K: The contrivance is strong with this one.

At an abandoned warehouse somewhere, Alastair’s bound to an iron devil’s trap that looks a lot like a Star of David. Cas tells Dean that it’s old Enochian, and says Alastair’s “bound completely“. Dean’s all “COOL STORY, BRO” and tries to leave. Uriel gets all up in his face and says that angels are dying. Cas says he knows it’s too much to ask, but they have to ask Dean to do it anyway. Dean turns to Uriel and says he wants to talk to Cas alone.

Uriel sasses some more, then vanishes. Once he’s gone, Dean makes a joke and Cas looks confused. Dean’s all “wow, tough crowd” and says Uriel clearly has the better sense of humour. Cas looks confused some more, and says “Uriel’s the funniest angel in the garrison. Ask anyone.” I can’t help but laugh over Dean’s little “wait, WHAT?” headshake as he processes that.

Mari: True story: I knew the name Castiel on this show, but for some reason, I thought he was more comedic relief…? The whole broody puppy angel thing is still throwing me for a loop.

K: Yeah, Tumblr definitely gives a false impression of Cas.

He asks Cas what the fuck is going on, and Cas says that the powers that be have decided that he’s getting too close to the boys, feeling too many emotions. BECAUSE HE LOVES DEAN, OBVS. Dean says they can’t want him to do this. Cas says they don’t want him to, but they need him to. Dean gets teary, and says if Cas makes him go through the door and torture Alastair, he won’t like what comes out. Cas says he’d give anything to not have this happen. But his hands are tied. Dean closes his eyes and his head droops.

Cut to Dean walking through the door, pushing a covered trolley. When Alastair sees him, he starts jovially singing Cheek to Cheek. Dean pulls the cover off the trolley, and it’s full of weapons and jars and holy water and stuff. (M: Tools literally any angel could probably use to do this…) Alastair cracks up because the idea of Dean torturing him is just too funny for words. Dean tells him he’s got one chance to spill the beans. Alastair sasses at him, saying he’s too scared to do it. Dean doesn’t bite. Alastair’s all “Oh, come on” because surely Dean wants payback for all the things Alastair did to him in Hell. Dean still doesn’t bite. Alastair smirks and says “…how about for all the things I did to your daddy?“. Dean’s head snaps up.

Meanwhile, Ruby turns up at the Motel of the Week. Sam wants her to find out where the angels took Dean. Ruby doesn’t see the whole situation as a problem because all Dean has to do is a little bit of torture, and then everyone wins. Sam looks concerned, and says that Dean can’t do it. He’s not strong enough. “And you are?” Ruby says in surprise. “I will be,” Sam replies.

Torture Central. Alastair smugly tells Dean that Papa Winchester lasted over a century, and was still turning down the offer to torture souls every day. He was, apparently, “The stuff of heroes.” (M: Except the child neglect part, I guess…) (K: And the general asshattery.) When Dean arrived in Hell, Alastair thought it would be the same thing. Dean downs some booze. “But daddy’s little girl, he broke,” Alastair says. I’m gonna go ahead and call misogyny shots on that one. He taunts some more, and Dean picks up a jug of water with a rosary floating in it.

He dumps some of it into a container, and Alastair sasses that he’ll have to do better than holy water. Dean turns to him and says that even in Hell, he could still dream. And what he dreamt of? Was this moment. Alastair looks nervous. Dean picks up a large bore syringe and fills it with holy water. “Let’s get started,” he says. Outside, Cas hears Alastair screaming. Fade to black.

After the Not Commercial Break, we pan over the torture instruments as Dean puts down the syringe. He looks feelsy. He turns back to Alastair and says to just give the word if he wants some more. Alastair gasps and tells him to “Go directly to Hell. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.” I mention this only because it confirms for me that Monopoly is a game invented by hellspawn to make humanity suffer.

Mari: That’s a rather strong position to take on the matter. I like it.

K: Clearly you’ve never played Monopoly with Little Miss A, who is RUTHLESS and takes no prisoners.

Motel. Ruby sets fire to a map while chanting a spell.

When she’s done, she says that Dean’s in the unburnt portion of the map. Sam looks concerned, then says that’s been weeks and “I need it“. He sits on the bed as he says doesn’t want to, but he needs to be strong enough. Ruby straddles him, and kisses him and I remember thinking that we had another Tragic Magic Vagina on our hands when this episode first aired, but no. She pulls a knife from an ankle sheath and slices her arm. Sam drinks her blood as Ruby strokes his hair and smirks.

Mari: As soon as he said that he needed it, my brain jumped to blood drinking. I blame Buffy.

K: That makes far more sense.

Torture Central. Dean holds up Ruby’s knife, and Alastair chuckles at the sight of it. Dean pours holy water over the blade as Alastair asks if he really thinks this is going to give him closure and fix him. He sing-songs about how sad it is. Dean stabs him in the gut and Alastair groans as there’s a sizzling sound. I…don’t understand how Ruby’s knife didn’t kill him more or less instantly, like it does every other demon – I mean, it was their plan to kill Lilith, for fuck’s sake! – but whatever.

Alastair snaps that he carved Dean into a new animal, and there’s no going back. Dean smiles coldly, and says that Alastair may be right, but it’s his turn to do the carving. He stabs again, and I’m pretty sure Jensen Ackles is mostly acting with his nostrils right now because there’s an awful lot of nostril quivering going on, and I’m not even sure how you do that. (M: I think you wrote this before we made a tag for the The Jared Padalecki School of Acting With Your Nostrils. Clearly someone has been studying.) We pan across to a water valve, which starts to turn on its own as Alastair screams. On the outside of an overhead pipe, a screw loosens. Water starts to drip onto the painted devil’s trap on the floor.

Outside, Castiel listens to Alastair’s scream. He looks up as the overhead light explodes. Anna appears, and Cas is all “…um. Didn’t your body explode when you got your grace back?”. It totally did, but apparently she’s sentimental. I think that’s code for “we’ve changed actors with enough characters already and people are getting confused.” (M: I’m willing to go with it. I like this lady pretty well.) Cas tells her she shouldn’t be there, because they’re under orders to kill her. Anna gives no fucks and asks where Uriel is. Cas tells her, but she seems more interested in the screams coming from Torture Central.

Dean pulls the knife out of Alastair’s gut. Alastair laughs and says that he respects Dean’s professionalism. Dean turns away in disgust. Alastair spits blood and grins. Back outside, Anna wants to know why Cas is letting Dean do this. “He’s doing God’s work,” Cas snaps. But he doesn’t seem convinced. Anna doesn’t think torture is God’s work, and begs him to stop Dean before he ruins their only true weapon.

Cas says he can’t challenge God’s will, but Anna says maybe it’s not God’s will. Cas wants to know where their orders are coming from if it’s not God. She’s not sure. Meanwhile, Dean throws holy water in Alastair’s face and he gives a gargly groan. Dean questions him again. Anna tells Cas that their father, who loves them, would never ask him to do this. Cas looks sceptical. “What you’re feeling? It’s called doubt,” Anna tells him.

Alastair screams some more as Dean throws more water. Dean watches coldly as he sizzles. Anna touches Cas’ hand and tells him that they both know the orders are wrong. But he has a chance to fix it. Together they can, she starts. But Cas pulls his hand away and scoffs. He snaps that he’s nothing like her, and tells her to get the fuck out. She reluctantly does.

Mari: That was a lot of angel brood in that scene. Look at those last two gifs. 

K: SO MUCH BROOD.

Alastair spits out holy water and blood, and says thoughtfully that Dean’s not getting deep enough. He says Dean has no idea what’s really going on, why Lilith wanted him in Hell in the first place. Dean tells him to shut up, but he won’t. So Dean pours salt into his mouth. Alastair does the gargly scream thing some more. Meanwhile, Sam’s driving the Bromobile through the night, with a classic case of murder face. The camera zooms in and we watch his eyes turn black.

Mari: That cannot actually be safe for driving is all I’m saying. 

K: NOPE.

Alastair coughs and drools and it’s totally gross. He stutters that there’s something caught in his throat and he thinks it’s his throat. Dean says coldly that the fun is just getting started. He walks away to get some more torture weapons. Alastair says it was meant to be Papa Winchester who made everything happen. But Dean was the one who got off the rack. And the first time he picked up a razor and cut “that weeping bitch” (SHOTS!), he broke the first seal. Well, shit. (M: MY EXACT REACTION.)

Dean slowly walks towards him. Then he stops, smiles, and says that Alastair’s lying. Alastair gets all scripture quote-y, saying “It is written that the first seal shall break when a righteous man sheds blood in Hell. As he breaks, so shall it break“. Dean turns away as Alastair continues, saying that they had to break the first seal in order to break any of the others. Dean’s shocked. Alastair sasses that when the apocalypse happens, it’ll all be thanks to Dean. He insists he wouldn’t lie about this because it’s basically his religion. Then he notices the water dripping on the trap.

Dean, still facing the door, says that he thinks Alastair’s telling the truth. But it doesn’t matter either way, because Alastair won’t be alive to see the Apocalypse. He looks at Ruby’s knife, then turns around. Alastair’s right behind him, free of the chains and the trap. “You should talk to your plumber about the pipes,” Alastair smirks. Then he punches Dean in the face, knocking him out. Fade to black.

After the Not Commercial Break, Alastair punches Dean in the face a bunch of times, then hauls him off the ground by his throat and sasses about how he wants to see him “back in class, bright and early Monday morning“. There’s a noise behind him and Alastair spins around, only to get stabbed in the chest by Cas, who’s wielding Ruby’s knife. Alastair drops Dean, who gasps for air, and sasses about how Cas missed his heart. (M: Which explains why it didn’t kill him before. Apparently, it’s like a wooden stake in that way…) (K: Despite never having been that way before. Whatever, show. Whatever.) Cas holds out a hand, and the knife starts to twist in Alastair’s chest. He manages to yank it out, and drops it on the floor before attacking Cas.

Dean blacks out. Alastair slams Cas onto a metal spike sticking out of a wall and starts choking him. Then he starts rambling in Latin, and it’s basically an angel exorcism. Just before Cas is about to bite the big one, Alastair looks surprised and goes flying across the room to slam into a wall. Sam’s arrived. Cas falls to the ground and looks concerned as Sam starts demanding answers and torturing Alastair without laying a hand on him.

Alastair holds out for a minute, then tells Sam that the demons aren’t behind the angel deaths. Lilith would kill a thousand if she could, but it’s not them. Cas looks concerned some more as Sam casually turns his hand and Alastair squirms. He dares Sam to try sending him back to Hell, and Sam says he’s stronger than that now: “Now, I can kill“. Alastair gets “OH SHIT, I FUCKED UP” face. Cas gets “THIS IS BAD” face. Sam murders Alastair’s face off from across the room. Cas looks judgey.

Cut to Dean in a hospital bed, Sam watching over him. Cas lurks in the doorway, then scurries away when Sam notices him. Sam follows and confronts Cas in the hallway. He demands that Cas heal Dean, and Cas insists that he can’t. Sam’s all “THIS IS YOUR FAULT” because the Alastair got free of the trap, and says the whole thing was pointless anyway because the demons aren’t responsible for the angel deaths. Cas hopefully suggests that maybe Alastair was lying, but Sam’s all “LOL NOPE”. Cas looks horrified as Sam heads back to his brother.

Cut to Uriel, sitting on a park bench. Cas appears beside him, and Uriel’s all “WTF, our bosses want us to stop looking for the demon who’s killing the angels”. Cas looks thoughtful and suggests that maybe the garrison is being punished for how they’re losing the war. Uriel’s all “God wouldn’t want that”, and Cas suggests that maybe God isn’t giving the orders in Heaven any more. Uriel says he’s not going to hang around waiting to be murdered. He stares up at the sky and vanishes with a feathery sound.

Cut to Cas standing alone on a snowy street calling Anna’s name. The lights flicker, she appears, and he tells her he’s “considering disobedience“. She says it’s good, he disagrees. She reassures him and touches his shoulder, and he pulls away. She gets offended and turns to leave, but Cas says he needs her help. He doesn’t know what to do. She tells him that it’s time for him to think for himself. And she feathery-noises away, leaving Cas to sad panda. Then he spots the tap on a nearby water fountain and looks thoughtful.

Mari: Look at that! As soon as someone told him to think for himself, he found a helpful visual clue.

K: So convenient!

Back at Torture Central, Cas examines the water mark on the trap. He looks up at the dripping pipe, then follows it to the tap. He waves a hand disappointedly, and the tap turns off. Uriel appears and asks if Cas is going to join him. Cas is all “Yeah, no, because Alastair getting free was totally sketchy”. Uriel pulls a blade from his sleeve and says the only thing that can kill an angel is another angel. I’m pretty sure subsequent seasons will prove that wrong repeatedly, but OKAY. (M: We’ll just have this moment for now.)

After the Not Commercial Break, Cas gets “OH FUCK” face and gives us an “OMG I can’t believe it was you” speech for anyone who’s slow on the uptake. Apparently a lot of this situation is because Uriel didn’t like that they took Alastair alive? Uriel consults the Big Book of Villain Gloating, and reveals that he’s sick of God picking humanity over angels. He wants Cas to help him raise Lucifer, their fallen brother.

“Lucifer isn’t God,” Cas says. Uriel says it’s pretty clear that God gives zero fucks because he’s been murdering angels and no one cares. He says he’s only killed the angels who’ve turned down his offer, and there’ve been plenty joining him. Cas sad pandas, then decides that he’d rather fight. He punches Uriel through a wall, and they pummel the living shit out of each other. Uriel gets the upper hand pretty quickly, and basically tells Cas that God doesn’t exist in between punches.

Mari: I guess they don’t teach you that if you are saying things in between punches, you are really just opening up more time in which you can be defeated in Angel School. 

K: True.

Then he gets stabbed through the neck with an angel blade, and Anna hisses in his ear that there may be no God, but there’s still her. Uriel falls to the floor and screams as white light explodes out of him. All the windows blow out of Torture Central. When we cut back to Uriel, he’s dead on the floor, with wing-shaped burn marks on the ground beside him. Cas and Anna exchange a worried look and we fade to black.

After the Not Commercial Break, Dean wakes in the hospital to find Cas sitting by his bed. Cas tells him he needs to be more careful, and Dean grumbles that Cas needs to stop sucking at devil’s trap construction.

Cas tells him that Uriel’s dead because he was a fucking jerk disobedient. Dean asks if it’s true that he broke the first seal, and Cas admits that it was. Dean wants to know why they didn’t just leave him in Hell to rot, and Cas tells him that only the righteous man can stop it. The fate of the world rests with Dean. Dean says they’re all fucked if that’s the case because he’s not strong enough to do this, and he’s not the man either of their fathers wanted him to be. He One Manly Tear cries us into the end credits.

Well. That was a thing. This is yet another episode that doesn’t really stand up to being watched slowly. Forcing Dean to torture Alastair was icky, and basically ended up feeling like the writers were forcing a breaking point for Dean. The knowledge that Sam’s improving his powers by drinking demon blood is nasty, but also not REALLY that shocking seeing as demon blood was what gave him powers in the first place. Really, the only perks to this episode are that we don’t have to deal with Uriel or Alastair any more.

Mari: I’m not really sure I quite followed Uriel’s motivations and why Dean ended up in that stupidly contrived situation in the first place. At best, it’s eye-roll worthy that everyone, including Cas, would kind of just accept that Dean is needed to torture a demon. No one else could do this. I think I already mentioned that I hated it. 

The Sam revelation I saw coming precisely at the right moment and it wasn’t exactly shocking, but one of those moments where suddenly things make sense. 

As a first time watcher I was invested enough in this episode, but I can’t help but feeling like overall, the whole Lilith and seals thing is just sort of ambling along. Apocalypse or bust, man.

K: YUP. And God agrees.

Next time on Supernatural: We’re thrown into a bizarro world where the boys have never met in S04 E17 – It’s a Terrible Life.