Pretty Little Liars S05 E09 – Showdown at the eye doctor’s office

Previously: It’s possible that Spencer got kicked in the eye by a horse.
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March of Crimes

Jessica: Marin Manor- Hanna’s room. Spencer and Emily are taking on our job momentarily and poking holes in Ali’s Noel-scares-Hanna’s-mom plan from last episode. Spencer’s particularly grumpy with her horse-kicked eye. (M: I’d be grumpy about everything with a horse-kicked-eye.) They all question Ali’s decision but she snaps at them that Noel is the one she can trust, since all they do is ignore her SOS calls and spy on her every move. She storms out to go call her dad.

Spencer presses a dry towel to her eye while speculating how Noel could have locked her and Emily in the stables and terrorized Hanna’s mom. Emily thinks Melissa is still involved, since it was her helmet they found at the stables. Spencer is questioning the validity of every attack on Ali while Hanna takes a swig from a flask. I’m right there with you, girl.

Spencer tells her to take it easy but Hanna’s furious about Ali having “invaded” her room. She begs to go to Emily’s house but Emily refuses, telling Spencer to keep Hanna from drunk dialing and leaves. Supportive.

    Emily rides her bike down the deserted nighttime street in Rosewood, stopping to check on some contrivance problem with her front wheel. (M: I hate when contrivance gets stuck in my wheel almost as much as having a horse-kicked eye.)(J: I feel like in Rosewood, contrivance is just everywhere, lying around on sidewalks ready to get tripped over or mess up your bike.) She overhears Ali’s voice saying “it’s too dangerous” and approaches a car. Noel Kahn is inside, listening to a recording of Ali talking to Shana. He looks in his side mirror and sees Emily, so she ducks behind a building. He looks around suspiciously and then drives off, wheels squealing.

Marin Manor. Mrs. Marin enters Hanna’s room and asks how she is. Hanna responds all sulky teen. Mrs. Marin suggests that she, Hanna and Alison go to the mall after school to get outfits for Zach and Piper Mom’s party this weekend. Hanna says she’s not going to the party and that Aria won’t care that she’s not there.

She throws her purse on the bed and her flask falls out. Her mom chews her out. She says she knows what the girls have been going through, because of the incident the other night, but Hanna can’t afford not to be in control, with the kidnapper at large.

An office somewhere, that I first thought was the police station but was, in a later scene, revealed to be the high school. Because why do police work at the station when there are teenagers to interrogate? (M: And if that fails, you can even date them! It’s Rosewood, after all.)(J: It’s not like they’re going to classes.) Tanner is questioning Aria and Piper Mom. She asks questions about Ezra Fitz, and brings up that the principal mentioned Ezra and Aria had an “intimate relationship” after he stopped working at the school. Piper Mom wonders what any of this has to do with the scary shadow incident at Hanna’s house. Tanner explains that she’s pursing possible connections between several open cases.

The interview continues, and Tanner asks if Ezra Fitz had intimate relationships with other students, say Shana? Aria is adamant that he did not. “He didn’t serial date students,” she says. “He wasn’t some creep prowling the school hallways hitting on girls.” Look show, no matter how hard you try at this, there’s no way I’m convinced that Ezra Fitz is not a pedotastic creep.

Marines: It’s real nice of the show to remind us that because he didn’t date SEVERAL high school girls, he’s a much better man. It was just the one. Or two, if you count Ali. Probably just the two. 

J: Rosewood School of Police Questions and Pedo Defenders. Spencer texts Emily that Noel is definitely in school today. Ali comes up and asks if Spencer’s next for Tanner’s questioning, freaking out that it only takes one of them to cave. What, your poorly thought out web of lies is in danger of collapse? Color me shocked. Ali wonders if Aria will be the one to cave, and asks if Spencer knows anything about the current Aria/Hanna fight, but Spencer doesn’t. She awkwardly tries to end the conversation, mentioning an eye doctor appointment later.

Ali dramatically insists that if even one of them falls, “we all fall, and A wins.” They look down the hallway to see Noel Kahn standing with a bunch of jock buddies. Hanna wanders up behind him, looking not super great. Ali says that Caleb dropped her off and that she’s the one Spencer should be spying on.

Sports Coach Office. Emily is getting a lecture from the head coach about conduct for student coaches. As she assures him she’s a spectacular student, she looks over at a bookshelf and squints suspiciously at some binders that, on pause, reveal themselves to be records of boys and girls locker assignments.

The coach offers her the job, she accepts and puts her phone down on his desk. They both leave, then Emily comes right back in, literally second later, picks up her phone and leafs through the binder to get Noel’s locker combination.

Mari: I feel like that was too easy but since it takes these girls 1.5 seasons to learn one piece of new information, I’ll allow it.

J: I mean, Spencer took a horse hoof to the eye. The least the show could do is give them Noel’s locker combo.

Piper Mom follows Aria through the hall, trying to get her to slow down. Noel Kahn walks by and says hello to both of them and Aria Big Eyes back at him. Piper Mom says Aria needs to chill when the police question her about her overage ex-boyfriend, but Aria steps up to defend Ezra Fitz’s honor. Aria says she really should go to class since “I’m skipping fifth period to help you set up for the party.” Man, Piper Mom’s good parenting is certainly plummeting this season.

Boys locker room. Emily opens Noels locker and pulls out his car keys. She hears a door bang and leaves.

Spencer arrives at Caleb’s Cabin, asking if either Toby or the board of health has been there recently, har har. Is it Toby’s cabin? I can’t remember. The only cabin I remember is Ezra Fitz’s cabin with the cyber stalker basement and plethora of chickpeas. (M: Who could ever forget the chickpeas?)

Spencer makes a few more comments about the state of the cabin’s lack of cleanliness, then tells him that Hanna’s a mess and has been since he came back. He blames that on Ali, though Spencer claims she can tell the difference between Ali-depressed Hanna and Caleb-depressed Hanna. She brings up Hanna’s day drinking and her not wanting to come to the Piper Mom/Zack party. She says that A’s back and the police are questioning everyone and Hanna can’t be losing it. Caleb plays it all off, until Spencer accuses him of fueling Hanna’s drinking.

“I don’t know what happened to you when you were away–“ she starts and he snaps back that yeah, she doesn’t, so back off. Still touchy about that canceled spinoff, eh Caleb? Spencer does back off, and says that he and Hanna used to be great with and for each other, but now something’s off. Caleb shows her the door.

Rosewood School of Skipping Class to Provide Free Labor to Your Parents. Choir class again! I’m just loving this little random bit of continuity, where all the girls have this one class together. At least one of them isn’t dating the choir teacher, right?

Mari: 

J: Ali approaches Hanna and tries small talk, but Hanna snaps that her “stupid stunts affect a lot of people.” Ali wonders if she and Aria are fighting about her but Hanna yells she wants to be left alone. She tells Ali to stay with one of the other Liars from now on. “Our group is falling apart,” Ali says, but then a tapping announces Jenna entering the room and Hanna peaces out without saying anything. It’s kind of hilarious, actually.

Ali greets Jenna, who recently came back to Rosewood. “I’m sorry about Shawna, she meant a lot to me too.” Jenna says she was sorry to hear about the Marin Manor break in, and that it must be so hard to return to a place when being continuously hunted down by psychopaths. Ali asks how Jenna managed to turn Shawna against her, since she was her friend first. “I didn’t,” Jenna replies cryptically. “You did.”

High school courtyard. Aria sends a text to Ezra warning him that Detective Tanner has been asking a lot of questions about him. Hanna enters and they have a brief stare off, then Aria grabs her bag and walks away.

Eye doctor’s office. Spencer’s in the waiting room and her vision goes from clear to blurry several times. Jenna enters, with Sydney right next to her. They look identical, with long dark hair, jean jackets and those ridiculously large sunglasses. They stop at the front desk and then walk away. Spencer tries to get her camera going on her phone but is too late.

Back at school, Emily uses Noel’s keys to break into his car. She finds an envelope with surveillance-type pictures of Ali and a really funky old-looking recording device. She shoves them into her purse.

Spencer calls Emily from the eye doctor’s office. “Jenna’s here with another Jenna!” she exclaims. Emily interrupts with what she found in Noel’s car.

  Spencer wants her to come to the eye doctor’s, but Emily hides in front of the bushes (not in them) when she hears someone coming. Spencer turns and looks at the screen in the eye doctor’s office, and it’s one of those big-letters-to-small-letters charts, with the letters “CAN UCME YET A” (Can you see me yet -A) in bold. She does the whip around and look behind you thing that they always do when they get a message from A but alas, it doesn’t work this time either.

Mari: If this series doesn’t end with that working in the last episode, I’m burning this section of the Snark Squad down.

J: Ditto!

Montgomery Manse. Aria gets off the phone with Emily, having been all caught up. Piper Mom and Zach are getting party decorations ready. Piper Mom runs off to her hair appointment, leaving Aria and Zach to finish up. Aria makes a big show of updating the guest list to remove Hanna’s name. Zach asks a few questions about why she can’t make it but nothing too suspicious. Aria stares at him for a while.

Eye doctor’s office. Spencer’s wearing the dark glasses they give you when your pupils are dilated. Emily appears, and she’s wearing dark aviators. What is the deal with everyone wearing sunglasses inside the eye doctor’s office?? Like, people who are just walking in off the street.

Spencer says that Jenna and the Jenna double are in the exam room right now. As they whisper, the two walk out. Emily dramatically pulls her sunglasses off and says, “Sydney?” She gets all up in Sydney’s grill, wondering why she’s there and when she became friends with Jenna.

There’s a big back and forth between Emily, Spencer and Jenna about why she and Sydney are friends. It’s very dramatic and threaten-y but, I just can’t take it seriously with three out of the four people wearing sunglasses inside, especially Spencer’s spaceman looking ones. Sydney doesn’t speak at all during this. Jenna snaps that they’re nervous around the wrong person. “I’m not Alison,” she says, then tugs on Sydney’s arm. “C’mon, Sid,” she says and they walk out. This was my favorite scene so far, it was so ridiculous and amazing.

Mari: As every dramatic show down in an eye doctor’s office ought to be. 

J: Caleb’s Crashpad Cabin. Hanna enters and stomps straight to the fridge to grab a beer. I admit, there are days when I have done exactly that, but those have all been after I graduated high school. Hanna tells Caleb her day sucked but she doesn’t want to talk about it. He asks why she’s not interested in going to the party, since she loves “free food and a chance to dress up.” Caleb pushes and she reveals that Zach is “a sleaze” and gave her his number for a meet-up. Caleb acts the way Aria should have, saying that the guy is a creep and he’s the one who should feel bad, not Hanna. Caleb says he’s going out to bring back food and she should stay there and relax.

      Montgomery manse. Aria’s getting ready for the party. Piper Mom comes in to ask for outfit approval and Aria asks if she’s sure she wants to go through with the engagement. She asks how well PM really knows Zach, and she asks if he was inappropriate with Aria. “No, not with me,” she replies. “Maybe he was with Hanna.” PM looks sad and gazes into the middle distance. She says there was an earlier incident that she explained away. She and Aria Big Teary Eye at each other as subdued music plays.

The Brew. Caleb enters looking pissed. Caleb confronts Zach, calling him a scumbag. “Do you hit on all of Aria’s friends or is it just Hanna?” Zach claims it’s totally a misunderstanding and is a general douche. He hands Caleb a note, presumably from Hanna, saying she’s sorry she acted shy and will make up for it later. He claims he was only reacting to the signals, and Caleb punches him IN THE FACE! Hooray for Caleb! (M: Hooray Caleb! Sorry your other show failed! WHOOPS! Sorry for bringing it up again!)

  Cabin. Hanna’s watching an old movie when Caleb enters. He doesn’t have food (again!!) and pulls some ice out to put on his hand. Caleb hands her the note Zach showed him. He thinks it was probably A.

Emily’s house. Emily’s on the phone with Spencer as she walks to her car. Spencer is driving to the lake house to hide the photos that Emily took from Noel’s car. Uh oh, the girls have their hands on evidence again and are trying to hide it. This can’t end well.

Emily hangs up, and Sydney jumps out behind her. She wants to explain, saying she met Jenna several years ago, when she volunteered for the school for the blind. She helped Jenna recover from Alison’s visit, and was the one Jenna reached out to “to feel safe” after learning Alison was alive and back in Rosewood. Sydney pouts a lot and Emily calls her out on “latching on” to her. “I didn’t expect to like you,” Sydney says. Emily’s on the war path now. She says she’ll be in the student coach position and will be watching Sydney close enough to make her panic and know what it feels like “to be sucker punched.” It’s quite the speech and Sydney looks sad and shocked. Emily drops her mic and drives off.

Mari: I bet she’s remembering that one time Paige almost drowned her. It kind of sounded like she was planning on using that move on Sydney. 

J: Lake house and it’s nighttime now. Spencer looks around for a place to hide the envelope o’ evidence Emily stole from Noel Kahn. There aren’t any pasta boxes around so she settles on a drawer. But as she’s opening it she hears a noise and changes her mind. She puts it in a nearby desk drawer with a key in the lock instead. All the furniture is covered in white sheets and the music gets more intense as behind her, we see the sheet move on one of the chairs, as though there’s someone hiding beneath it.

Spencer takes the key out of the lock and puts it in her pocket. She turns around and notices the human shape beneath the chair sheet. The camera man zooms in to show us an eye glaring through a rip in the sheet. Spencer grabs a fire iron and approaches. The chair person lets her get right up and snatch the sheet off — it’s Noel Kahn. Spencer gasps and stumbles backward. “Surprise,” he says all creepy and stands up.

He wants the key for the desk, and points out there’s no way Spencer is going to call the cops to help her out, based on what the evidence is and that it was stolen from him in the first place. She asks why he even has that stuff, and that they know he was the one who terrorized Hanna’s mom, and he shouts back, “You know nothing!” 

He makes a grab for the fire poker, but Spencer rebuffs him and asks what he and Ali are planning next. Noel says that Alison doesn’t know he has the envelope o’ evidence, and that he’s keeping it as insurance that she doesn’t throw him away when she’s done using him. The photos are proof that Ali wasn’t kidnapped, and were given to Jenna by Shawna. On Alison’s orders, Noel stole them from Jenna’s bedroom. He just barely got out before the house blew up, and is wondering if maybe that wasn’t coincidence– implying that Ali was trying to get rid of both him and the evidence. (M: Damn.)

Spencer asks what Ali could possibly have on him that he would do this for her, but Noel demands the key. He reaches for her but she cuts him with the fire poker. Spencer says that she needs insurance too, and promises to keep the evidence “in a much safer place than this.” LOL. She yells at him to go and he leaves.

Cabin. Hanna is pouring alcohol down the sink, when Aria walks in the door. She says the party isn’t happening and admits she knows Zach is the worst. She asks for forgiveness and Hanna gives her a tearful hug.

Mari: I still don’t like Aria, even though she got all teary about her mom and stuff. It was a real punk move not believing Hanna and then being a dick to her on top of all of it. But whatever. At least this is done now.

J: Yeah I’m not ready to forgive her for that either, but whatever. Plot points come and go here.

Marin Manor. Ali’s asking Mrs. Marin if she thinks it’s weird that Piper Mom would get food poisoning right before the wedding. Mrs. Marin doesn’t rise to the gossip bait. She then gets a call from Detective Tanner, and agrees to bring Ali down to the police station, even though her father doesn’t get back until tomorrow morning. Is that ok, law-wise? I have no idea. (M: Let’s assume no, to be on the safe side.)

Mrs. Marin tells Ali that the police caught the person who broke in, and have been questioning him, and want her to come down as well. Alison looks suitably terrified.

Montgomery Manse. Piper Mom is tearfully packing when her ex-husband walks in. He apologizes, figuring everyone would be at the party. She tells him it was cancelled and she’s no longer engaged. They talk, reminisce about their first tiny apartment together. She cries more and they hug.

Mari: You know you are having a bad night when your ex-husband who cheated on you is insulting your ex-fiance for not knowing he had a good thing. Sorry, Piper Mom.

J: Rosewood LOLPD. Alison and Mrs. Marin enter the room behind the one-way glass. Detective Tanner is interrogating a blond guy with emo bangs and a beard. He gives the story Ali gave, about her being blindfolded and jumping out of a car, his car. Ali’s face shows emotions during this, but it’s hard to tell if they are recognition or surprise or just sheer terror. Mrs. Marin asks if Ali recognizes him as the kidnapper but she doesn’t say anything.

‘A’ tag. Eye exam room. The nurse approaches someone in the black hoodie and gloves, saying the doctor will be in shortly, and if it’s cold she can turn down the AC. A sits back with some headphones, and listens to Ali’s testimony from when she got back to Rosewood and lied to the police. It’s the exact same description that Emo Bangs gave to Detective Tanner. Fade to black.

 

Next time on Pretty Little Liars: Alison is called in to identify her kidnapper in S05 E10 – A Dark Ali.