Previously: Sam was tricked by a demon (duh) and Lucifer came out to play.
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Sympathy for the Devil
Samantha: Hi everyone! I’m crazy excited to be joining in with the Supernatural recaps! I’m in Kirsti’s “Jon Know” neck of the woods. I have super Winchester brothers love and feels, while also the major acknowledgment that this show and the boys can be incredibly misogynistic and frustrating. I, uh, also own a necklace with Dean’s face on it, because I’ve been in love with him since 2007. So. Just getting the embarrassing outta the way at the gate. And without further ado, lets start Season 5!
Kirsti: I read that as “a necktie with Dean’s face on it”, and I got bizarrely intrigued by the idea of Supernatural ties.
Marines: We are just starting this season with a bang, you guys. Welcome. I’m glad you all are here.
Samantha: After some Previouslies set to AC/DC, I feel pretty pumped up because this is old school Supernatural! (K: You can’t go wrong when you break out the Acka Dacka, you really can’t.) We open right where we left the boys, staring in horror at the ground while it cracks open, cause Lucifer’s terrible at Hide-n-Seek. They try to open the door but it’s locked, obviously. A whiny noise and the light swells, BUT THEN we cut suddenly to a cartoon Satan chatting with Yosemite Sam. I can’t imagine that it’s a coincidence that they picked a cartoon where the devil is chatting with someone named Sam.
K: Seriously, I love that cut more than I can say. It’s a brilliant piece of work.
Samantha: The boys look around in confusion and we discover that they are on a plane, mid flight. I take a moment to wonder why no one is freaking out at the sudden appearance of two men, but maybe that’s part of the magic? (M: I’ll say yes because when in doubt, magic.) The pilot announces that they are flying over the city that Sam and Dean were just hanging out in. While he is talking, the bright tower of light erupts from the ground in front of the plane and it goes into distress. Dean looks out the window, feelsy and baffled, and also probably battling that old flying phobia, right?
BLOOOOOOOOOOD! Oh, sorry, the opening credits for this season is just blood all over the word Supernatural. So. Yes, it’s necessary to yell blood at you.
K: Hey, it’s no worse than the “CREEPY BIRDS!” I came up with last season. (Satan’s Screensaver, I still miss you.)
Mari: All I can think of is this kid:
Samantha: After the Not Credits we cut to a road that Sam and Dean are driving down in a presumably stolen car. They are listening to the radio where a woman is saying that the Governor does not think that the Tower of Light was a terrorist attack. Dean makes Sam turn it off before we can find out if he blames it on PCP. They cycle through the stations and just hear a mess of depressing End of the World reports (do you guys remember Swine Flu? Ah, 2009). Sam tries to explainagize, but Dean tells him that it’s okay and that they need to find Cas.
Cut to Chuck’s place, where the boys take in the trashed and bloody scene. Suddenly, Chuck jumps out of nowhere and wacks Sam on the head with a plunger. He expresses surprise that Sam is okay, to which Sam sassily replies, “Well, my head hurts.” Chuck goes on to ramble about how fucked up Sam was in his last vision, with black eyes and everything.
Mari: I’m glad someone brought it up because we seem too chill about black-eyed Sam right now. I DO NOT FORGIVE YOU.
Samantha: I am like six years out from it and I don’t really forgive him. So, preach.
After Dean gets Judgey Eyes at that information, he demands to know where Cas is. Chuck informs them that he is dead after a rough case of Arch Angel Smiting. Chuck pulls a molar out of his hair and we all mouth vom together.
K: As if telling us that Cas exploded “like a water balloon of chunky soup” wasn’t bad enough.
Samantha: Chuck senses the Douche Brigade’s arrival just seconds before they show up. Zachariah wants to take Dean with him and Dean is all “…probably not though” on account of them being manipulative creeps. Zach tries to tell Dean that they’re all on the same side now and Dean says “cram it with walnuts, ugly.” I have always found this to be randomly hilarious and might work it into posts into the future. The boys find out that Lucifer needs a vessel and since he’s an angel, technically, he needs permission. While rambling, Zach notices that Dean’s hand is bleeding. Dean smirks and hits the Angel Go Bye Bye sigil he secretly put on the door. At some point. I can’t really figure out when he had time, but away the Douche Brigade go with a “I learned that from my friend Cas, you son of a bitch.”
K: Literally all I could think of during this moment:
Samantha: Motel-of-the-Week. Sam comes in with hex bags to keep them hidden from Angels&Demons that he learned from….Ruby. This awkward moment leads to Dean asking if Sam has been craving “bitch blood.” (K: MISOGYNY SHOTS!) Sam says he’s fine, whoever put them on the plane cleaned him up. Oh Sammy, it was contrivance! Silly.
Mari: I’m actually refusing to believe they are tying up this storyline with insta-rehab. The show is definitely going to give this a better explanation. I know it.
Samantha: Sam tries to talk about it all again, but Dean’s having none of it. No one is surprised. They decide that they need to hunt The Devil.
Cut to, Mark Pellegrino’s!!!! house. Mark Pellegrino is famous for his role as Jacob in Lost and I think he’s pretty great. As he heads inside, there’s a ton of wind and eerie gate noises, because even locked in the pit of hell, Lucifer knows how to be stereotypically spooky. While tossing and turning in bed, Mark Pellegrino suddenly realizes that his hands and body and sheets are covered in blood. I can’t be too scared by this, cause this is basically how I wake up once a month. (Too much sharing? #sorrynotsorry)
K: My reaction to the bloody sheets was mostly “I hope he’s got a good mattress protector…”
Samantha: He turns on a light and all of the blood is gone. I’m wondering where I can get one of these lamps. No more cold water and ammonia for me! Mark P. gets back into bed where a bloody woman in white appears to tell him that “he’s chosen.” She does not elaborate because saying that “you’re chosen to host Satan” is kind of a party killer. Or so I’m told. Also, the woman in white is Millie from Scandal and also had a brief stint on Scrubs.
Cut to a girl sitting on her computer, typing what can only be Wincest fan fiction. I have never really gotten the whole Wincest thing. Dean’s whole “They know they’re brothers, right?” from season 4 about sums it up for me. (M: SAME.)
Just as she’s in the middle of writing about how Sam “caressed Dean’s clavicle” (that’s about as sexy as Fifty Shades, girl) she gets a knock off Skype call from Chuck. She squees and gushes about how she’s the #1 fan (get in line, Becky). Chuck cuts her off to tell her that he needs her help and honestly, out of context, this is kind of creepy. He tells her that she needs to get a message to Sam and Dean. She rolls her eyes and huffs and explains that she knooooows it’s fiction, thank you very much. But then, hilariously, Chuck just says, “Becky it’s all real!” and she squees “I KNEW IT!” For real though, this is sort of how I feel about all of my favorite fiction. Like, yeah yeah it’s fake, but also maybe Hogwarts is real, you know?
K: Mari can tell you first hand how much of a fucking fangirl I was when we went to Wizarding World of Harry Potter. I literally stood in the middle of the street in Hogsmeade and bounced up and down clapping my hands. So…yeah.
Mari: Every fan is just one “it’s all real!” away from being Becky on any given day. I mean, minus the incest fanfic.
Samantha: Motel of the Week. The boys are sitting around watching Armageddon 2009 unfold on the news (not to be confused with Buffy’s Armageddon 2003). There’s a knock on the door so the boys suspiciously draw their guns and go to answer it. It’s Becky, who looks at Sam the same way I look at my food when it’s coming toward me in the restaurant. She inappropriately touches his chest, declaring it firm. Sam’s freaked out face is pretty hilarious. She’s unimpressed by Dean, which both causes me amusement and defensiveness.
K: BECKY, GIRL. STOP TOUCHING PEOPLE. IT’S CREEPY AS FUCK.
Also, I really hope Chuck’s vision involved something like this:
Samantha: YES.
The Impala pulls up outside the Motel of the Week, with a pretty nice shot of the Ohio license plate. I live in Ohio, so I was always irrationally happy that ended up being the plate they switched to in season 2. Everybody’s favorite surrogate father gets out and heads inside. Bobby hugs the boys and then they get down to business. We get some back story on the sword of Michael and the angel himself. He is the head honcho angel and cast Lucifer into hell originally, with his sword. They need to find the sword to be able to lock him up again.
They start to hit the books when Sam has a brooding moment and decides to confess about starting the apocalypse to Bobby. Bobby gets pissed and tells Sam he can’t be forgiven and he doesn’t want to see Sam again after all this is over. It’s fairly brutal in the feels department, and Sam decides he’s going to go read his books elsewhere. Which is maybe the Supernatural equivalent of “You can’t sit with us!” He also makes these faces, which is pretty good feels acting from J Pad, who is sometimes too over the top for me.
Samantha: Some times passes and Dean and Bobby are reading. Bobby makes the comment that John was right (spoiler alert: John was never right) about Sam and maybe they shouldn’t have tried to save him. Dean gets distracted from these obvious red flags by remembering all the stuff from John’s hunting days that they carry around.
Dean finds a card for a storage lock up called Castle Storage located on 42 Rover Hill. Man, John Winchester had his fingers in everything, huh? Well, except his children’s lives. Once this is solved Bobby FACE PUNCHES Dean and kicks him through some stuff because of course he was possessed the entire time. Side note: How does Bobby not have an anti possession tattoo?
K: Literally what my notes say. Especially seeing as Bobby’s the one who pushed anti-possession amulets on them in the first place.
Mari: I was just really pleased because I was all, “show, you are getting Bobby TOTALLY wrong right now! He would never say any of this stuff!” I didn’t even think about possession because what is Bobby? New here? So, yes, pleased there was an explanation for Bobby being out of character.
Samantha: After a Not! Commercial Break, two other demons walk in. The girl demon expositions about knowing Dean in the past. Dean’s first guess is Ruby but she tells him to go back farther. It’s Meg! Of Season 1 and possessing Sam fame. I’m excited because I really like this actress’s portrayal of this character.
Samantha: She monologues A LOT about Bobby being awake and screaming inside his meat suit and creep kisses Dean, instead of just killing him. (M: Another tick for those following along with sexual assault against the Winchesters.) She ends by deciding that Possessed!Bobby must be the one to kill Dean. Dean pleads with Bobby, who takes back control long enough to stab himself instead of Dean. The demon inside of him dies and Bobby falls to the ground. I have feels despite the contrivance, which is usually how this show works for me.
Dean goes after the other demons as Sam bursts in. He somehow knows that it’s Meg right away and the fight scene continues. Fight scenes are hard to recap. There’s a lot of Punching and Grunting and some One Liners! Finally, Dean kills Demon #2 and Meg evacuates her meat suit.
Mark Pellegrino is packing away baby stuff, which is never a good sign. The baby swing starts swinging on its own and Mark P hears baby crying coming from the baby monitor, despite the lack of baby. As he’s looking at the empty crib, it starts to gush blood. Mark P. has horrified feels and I get mad at the devil. Go read your books elsewhere, Lucifer! (M: And stuff some walnuts while you are at it, ugly!) (S: Thank you so much.)
K: This is so fucking cruel. SO FUCKING CRUEL. Like, I know it’s Lucifer and all. But DUDE. TORTURING SOMEONE BY MAKING THEM THINK THEIR BABY IS STILL ALIVE IS UNACCEPTABLE.
Samantha: ER (sadly lacking in Noah Wyle and Anthony Edwards). The boys rush Bobby in and then rush back out to get to the sword before the demons do. What happened to the girl on the floor that Meg was possessing? Was she dead? Did she skip off without so much as a “whaaaaa?” There’s a driving shot and then we see them gun up and head to the storage unit.
There are dead demons all over the floor and then we see the Douche Brigade. Dean hilariously says “Oh thank god, the angels are here.” Zach locks the storage unit doors and cryptically says that the sword was right in front of the demons all along. The boys are confused, so Zach goes on the explain that they planted that prophecy in Chuck. They did lose the sword, but now Sam and Dean have hand delivered it. It turns out that it’s Dean, Dean is the Michael Sword. Dramatic Zoom In on Dean.
K: Zoomy Cameramen need to make a living too.
Samantha: Not!Commercial Break. Zachariah is mocking Dean for thinking he could be the one to ice Lucifer. He calls him a “simpering wad of insecurity and self loathing.” Dean demands answers and it comes out that he is The Vessel for Michael. Which. In my head makes him more of a sheath for the sword that is Michael? Whatever, point is, he was chosen. Dean calls it “life as an angel condom” which I think keeps speaking to my point.
Dean says hells no to this turn of events and Zach breaks Sam’s leg while lecturing Dean. Dean demands to know how many humans will die as a result of a giant Michael vs. Lucifer showdown. Zach doesn’t really care, he’s pretty focused on how fate! says there must be a battle. We might consider fate shots for season 5. (M: Cousin shots on Supergirl keep me drunk all week, thanks.) Dean keeps sassing as Zach continues making a laundry lists of threats. Bobby will never walk again, he gives Dean Stage IV stomach cancer, and finally takes away Sam’s lungs.
It’s a pretty lousy day for the Winchesters when there’s a sudden bright light. It’s Castiel! That’s right ya’ll, only women stay pretty permanently dead on Supernatural! (K: Sad but true.) Cas takes out the angel goons before turning to Zachariah, who wants to know how the hell he’s still alive. Castiel says that the same person who put the boys on the plane brought him back. Zach is in denial, and Cas accuses him of being scared. “Now put these boys back together, I won’t ask twice,” Castiel intimidates. Sam has been without lungs for about two and a half minutes so let’s get on that STAT.
K: And yet he’s not unconscious. Okay, contrivance.
Samantha: Zachariah flees and the boys are healed. Good thing they had Castiel, and not all the kings horses and all the kings men to put them back together again. Cas tells them to be careful because Lucifer is circling his vessel. He also zaps their ribs full of an enochian sigil that will keep them hidden from all angels. Enochian shots?
K: I love Dean’s face in that last gif. It’s all “HOW VERY DARE YOU?!”. But also, I really want to punch someone over the fact that in Supernatural, possession by angels requires verbal consent but LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE DOES.
Samantha: Castiel admits that he was dead but poofs away before elaborating on how he’s back. Gotta stretch out that mystery as long as possible! Can we also wonder why the angels had to go through all of that rigmarole to get the boys to that storage locker? If they knew that Dean was the vessel all along, couldn’t they just go to him to have this conversation? (M: No.)
We’re back in Mark Pellegrino’s bedroom and the woman in white, who I think we can safely assume is his dead wife, appears. Man, do that many women sleep in long white nightgowns? Does Hollywood think that’s what we sleep in? Poll time: what do you sleep in, women? I sleep in a Tshirt and shorts. And usually not even a white Tshirt.
K: T-shirts and boxer shorts in summer, t-shirts and long PJ bottoms in winter. Tank tops and boxer shorts if it’s over 95 degrees F outside. Also, his dead wife is Beth from Criminal Minds!
Mari: I sleep in shorts and a sports bra or an oversized t-shirt. I’ve got a few white gowns though, just in case the occasion presents itself. Maybe I’m kidding, maybe I’m not.
Samantha: We are all about the big questions and the intrigue here at Snark HQ.
Lucifer!Wife tells Mark that she’s an angel and her name is Lucifer. Mark scoffs at this and blames it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol.
When Mark asks how he can know that Lucifer isn’t lying, he just basically says “cause….I’m not…a liar?” and no other proof is needed. If someone calling themselves Lucifer says that they are not a liar, they are probably telling the truth! (Note: This is not sanctioned Snark Advice.) Mark says yes and the house fills up with light. I also pause to notice how different Lucifer’s strategy for getting a yes is, compared to how we saw Castiel approach Jimmy. Both inherently manipulative, but in different ways. Also, what qualifies someone to be a specific angel’s vessel? It’s always vaguely about BLOOD but what?
K: I think it’s a lot like the whole souls drama in Buffy and Angel. Incredibly wishy-washy, constantly being changed to fit the plot line, and a constant headache for the Snark Ladies. YAY.
Mari: Meat-suit consent is very much like invitations into houses.
Samantha: Not!Commercial Break. We’re back at the hospital with the boys and Bobby. Bobby is raging because the doctor has told him that he’s not going to walk again. Sam changes the subject to what the plan is. “We save as many as we can for as long as we can, I guess,” says Bobby. Dean proposes that they screw the demons and angels (calm down, fanfic writers, not like that) and fight for humanity themselves, their way. He doesn’t know how but he has a GED and Give ‘Em Hell Attitude, so they’ll figure it out. They turn to leave when Bobby calls Sam back. He knows what the demon said, but he would never cut Sam out.
As they walk outside, Sam is ready to game plan and offers up finding the Colt (remember that?) as a way to kill Lucifer. Dean reveals that he was just blowing hot air to make Bobby feel better. He honestly thinks they don’t have a chance and makes a passive aggressive remark about Sam “of all people should know that.” Sam moody sighs and demands that Dean says what he wants to say (M: now that we’ve reached that last few minutes of the episode, aka the Manpain Minutes).
Dean’s voice fills with brotherly hurt as he says that he really tried but it’s never going to be okay. Sam chose a demon over his own brother. Dean knows how sorry he is but (here come the choked up tears) Sam was the one he depended on the most and he let Dean down. He can’t forgive and forget and they will never be what they were. As Dean says he doesn’t trust him, Sam looks shocked. Pan out and fade to black. Really, Sam? Not being trusted 2 days after your betrayal? Kind of expected.
K: Shocking.
Mari: Maybe he figured insta-rehab came with insta-forgiveness.
Samantha: I make fun but in all honesty the brotherly feels, good and bad, tend to get me in this show. Especially this season. I always say that season premieres are hard because all they are is clean up for whatever mess the finale made. This is no exception, but I felt like it was fairly strong, with a lot of reveal and set up for the story to come.
K: Supernatural tends to do season premieres and season finales pretty well. This did a pretty great job of setting up where the season is going to go, and I really love Mark Pellegrino as an addition to the cast.
Next time on Supernatural: Castiel borrows Dean’s necklace to find God in S05 E02 – Good God, Y’All!
I'm a 28 year old graduated English major and almost librarian. I can often be found singing too loudly (poorly) in the car or spending some time (hours) on Tumblr. I am a lover of Harry Potter, the Spice Girls, and too many other things.
I'm a 30-something librarian and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. Leader of Team Heartless Cow. I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and read more than is good for me.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
