Previously: Marissa and Volchok, because why the hell not?
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The Secrets and Lies
Alex: I must preface this recap with my usual ‘I have no idea what’s going on’ disclaimer. I’ve done a few OC recaps now, but I haven’t kept up with what’s been happening between each one. I hope you find my confusion charming and endearing.
We kick things off at a nightclub. Summer and Seth are watching Ryan and some girl… wait, is that Rosalie from Twilight? It totally is! Weird. OK, I’ve looked her up and her name is Sadie.
Marines: She’s been around for a few episodes but every time I see her face, I go “wait, is that Rosalie from Twilight..?!” Weird forever.
Alex: Summer and Seth are watching Ryan and Sadie from a distance, while Summer reads their body language and declares them to be super into each other. This is confirmed when they come over to say goodbye, while pawing at each other in a very obvious ‘we’re off to have sex now’ kind of way. After they leave, Seth wonders whether it’s weird for Summer to see Ryan with someone other than Marissa. Marissa has been staying at her mum’s old trailer while she ‘processes some feelings’, and Summer is worried. But just then, they spot Marissa on the dancefloor, drinking and making out with Volchok, aka… James from Twilight! We’re only two minutes in and this episode is a total Twilight-fest.
Mari: Twilight: the gift that keeps on giving.
Alex: CALIFORNIAAAAAA!
The next morning, Marissa and Volchok are passed out in the trailer. Summer stops by and hammers on the door until they both wake up. Marissa hides Volchok in the bedroom while she makes a not-very-successful effort to tidy up all the empty booze bottles lying around the trailer. She opens then door and Summer makes a few snarky comments, but they’re interrupted by both of their phones ringing with dinner invitations from Julie and Dr Roberts. Summer insists on driving Marissa to school, so Marissa heads into the bedroom to get dressed. Volchok attempts to ‘cure her hangover’ by lighting a bong and blowing smoke into her mouth as he kisses her. Hungover morning breath plus recycled bong-smoke? Ew. (M: This is how we know Marissa is headed down a dangerous path. Super ew.)
Meanwhile, at the Cohen house, Ryan is in a great mood. He’s even talking about going out dancing with Sadie tonight.
Ryan is now over at Sadie’s, fitting in a quick makeout sesh before school. People in the OC really do have infinitely long mornings. They also talk about something to do with selling a house, which means nothing to me. Sorry. Meanwhile, at school, Seth and Summer agree that they can’t let Ryan find out about Marissa and Volchok.
Mari: Probably Ryan is going to find out about Marissa and Volchok. I’m so good at TV.
Alex: Sandy is at work, talking to a guy called Matt who I know absolutely nothing about. Sorry again. Matt is fired, and it’s ‘for the good of the hospital’, apparently. I have no idea what’s happening here. Anyway, Matt is not happy about being fired and claims that he’s just being used as the fall guy for someone called ‘Griffin’, whoever that is. Griffin has apparently been taking a bunch of bribes, and Matt threatens to tell everyone what he’s been up to. Sandy, ever the moral centre of the show, says that Matt is definitely fired in that case. That’s very noble, Sandy, but I predict that this is probably not going to end well.
Mari: You are real good at TV too.
Alex: Summer and Marissa are having an awkward family dinner with Julie and Dr Roberts. They soon learn that this is actually a celebration dinner, since their parents are now engaged! Summer is lovely and congratulates them, while Marissa just looks grumpy. Man, do I hate Marissa. However, I must grudgingly admit that her hair is looking fan-freaking-tastic in this episode. (M: At least she has one thing going for her, especially since James from Twilight doesn’t count.) (A: Definitely not.) She rudely takes a phonecall in the middle of the celebrations, downs her champagne and wishes the happy couple a moody ‘congrats’ before leaving. Julie and Summer try to stop her, but Marissa just makes a nasty comment about Dr Roberts being her mum’s ‘golden ticket’ before joining Volchok on his motorbike outside.
Kirsten and Seth are driving home from their super-cute mother/son date night, where they’ve apparently been watching some kind of Chinese action film at the cinema. Kirsten wasn’t really a fan, but enjoyed having the chance to spend some time with him anyway. She suggests that they do something together again the following night. Just then, Summer calls to tell Seth it’s time they get Ryan involved to help with Marissa.
Kirsten and Seth arrive home while Ryan is making out with Sadie in the poolhouse. Seth hammers on the door and then, when Ryan doesn’t answer, just starts yelling the news about Marissa and Volchok through the door instead. This is a major mood-killer for Ryan and Sadie, and she decides to go home.
The next day, at school, Seth is apologising for interrupting Ryan’s makeout sesh last night, but explaining that the information was so important that it just couldn’t wait. Not even, like, the twenty seconds it would have taken for Ryan to unlock the door? Also, this seems like a really weird conversation for them to be having right now, rather than the previous night. Ryan say that he’s not going to get involved, though, because Marissa isn’t his problem any more.
Mari: The only way this makes sense is if Ryan was so angry that he threatened Seth with face punching and all communication had to be delayed until after a good night’s sleep, bagels and coffee in the morning. It could happen.
Alex: Kirsten helps Julie to pack up the trailer and comments on how happy she seems with Neil. Oh! That’s Dr Roberts’ name then. I couldn’t remember, so I was just calling him ‘Dr Roberts’ and hoping you wouldn’t notice. (M: We almost didn’t, Alex, but confession is good for the soul.) Anyway, Kirsten casually mentions the shit-ton of money that Neil happens to have, but Julie insists that this has absolutely nothing to do with why she’s marrying him. Then some weird stuff happens with Julie’s neighbour peeing against a fence outside and I have absolutely no idea what to make of it. (M: Trailer parks! Poor people! Ew!) (A: I see, thanks!)
At school, Ryan spots Marissa by her locker and decides to say hi, but she’s being extra moody and sarcastic. He wants to know why she missed a test for one of their classes that morning. She blames it on ‘traffic’, but the hip flask that falls out of her bag says otherwise.
At the office, Sandy interrogates Griffin about Matt’s allegations. Griffin denies them and says that he’ll sue Matt for libel if word ever gets out.
Roberts house. Julie tips the removal men (how much stuff can they have been moving from a trailer, though?) and stands back to admire her huge new home. The housekeeper gives her some serious judgey-eyes.
Back at school, Marissa is sleeping on her car and swigging from her hip flash. Summer confronts her about Volchok and Marissa snarkily calls her ‘a regular Veronica Mars’. Errr, like that’s an insult? Marissa whines a bit about how nobody cares about her, even though there are like a million people in this episode demonstrating that they care very much about her. I do want to be more sympathetic because Marissa is clearly in need of help, but UGH she’s just so annoying. Summer tells her to grow up. I mentally high-five Summer.
At the office again, Sandy catches Matt trying to steal some files. Matt leaves with a ‘game on, Sandy’. I know I haven’t been keeping up with this show at all, but I kind of get the feeling that this plot is a super boring one that nobody really cares about.
Mari: You would be absolutely correct. I tend to not care about all of the plots on this show but I don’t care about this one the most.
Alex: Sadie and Ryan share some chilli fries at the diner, but this delicious-looking date is ruined by a bunch of biker-douche-bros walking in and talking loudly about Volchok and Marissa. Sadie has had it up to HERE with hearing about Marissa all the time, and decides to head home. Ryan gives the biker-douche-bros a message for Volchok; he wants to meet him at the pier tomorrow morning.
The next morning, Volchok does indeed show up at the pier, where Ryan is waiting. Ryan just wants to talk, though. He tells Volchok that he’s worried about Marissa, but that it’s not his job to look after her any more. He warns Volchok to treat her right. Couldn’t he just have phoned him to say all that? Seems like a lot of effort to go all the way to the pier just to say those two sentences.
Alex: Meanwhile, Marissa and Summer share an angry breakfast while wearing fabulous giant sunglasses. It’s ridiculous but also pretty hilarious, as they passively-aggressively deny each other jam and coffee. Neil and Julie arrive to suggest yet another nice family dinner. Marissa continues to be a total brat.
A little later, Ryan tells Seth that he and Sadie are breaking up, but Seth persuades him to ask Sadie to stay in Newport.
Meanwhile, Sandy has lunch with Who-The-Fuck-Is-Griffin and fills him in on what happened with Matt. Griffin apologises for getting Sandy mixed up in whatever’s going on (IDK) and promises to handle it himself from here. I predict that this is not going to end well.
Marissa continues to be a bitch to Summer. End Scene.
Seth and Summer briefly talk on the phone, but he has to go because he has another mother/son date to get to. I find this adorable. Kirsten won’t tell him where they’re going, explaining only that it’s ‘something new’. Summer sits down to dinner with Neil and Julie, where Marissa is decidedly absent. Summer works overtime to diffuse the tension at the dinner table and tries to reassure Julie that it isn’t her fault Marissa’s being so shitty.
Shitty Marissa, meanwhile, is on the beach with Volchok. She claims to be really sad about fighting with Summer, but I’m not buying it. Volchok attempts to show some semblance of interest in her life, which makes Marissa immediately suspicious. He tells her that she deserves to be treated right, but she laughs that if she wanted to be treated right, she wouldn’t be with him. How romantic. He offers her some cocaine, but she turns it down.
Mari: I want to amend my previous statement: whenever Marissa is on the TV, I don’t care about her the most.
Alex: Does anyone?
Kirsten and Seth arrive at the location of their mystery outing, which turns out to be an AA meeting. Seth is not at all pleased, but Kirsten persuades him to stay.
Matt arrives home and listens to a message from a journalist who’s interested in buying the Griffin story. Oh good, maybe once he’s written it he’ll let me read it so that I can know what’s going on? (M: Nah, don’t bother.) His next message is from Sandy, asking him to call back as soon as he can. Just then, there’s a knock at the door. It’s a bunch of heavyweight thugs, who proceed to beat the shit of out him and trash his apartment.
Ryan shows up at Sadie’s house with flowers, but Hunky Bob tells him that Sadie already left for Oregon. Ryan angrily throws down his flowers on the doorstep and leaves. I guess Bob will be cleaning those up, then? That’s pretty rude, Ryan.
Mari: Maybe Bob will salvage the flowers, put them in a vase, and enjoy their decorative presence for days to come. It could happen.
Alex: On the beach, Marissa finds Ryan moping. He tells her that Sadie left without saying goodbye. She starts to ask him if he’s OK, but then changes her mind and just leaves him to it.
AA meeting. Kirsten gets her nine-month chip. Awww. Good work, Kirsten! She stands up to make a speech, where she thanks Seth. She tells everyone that the disappointment on his face at her intervention was the wake-up call she needed to get sober. She thanks him for always believing in her, and sits back down. Seth hugs and congratulates her, and NO, I’M NOT CRYING. YOU’RE CRYING.
Roberts house. Julie and Neil enjoy an after-dinner drink, but then Neil drops a bombshell: this engagement is just a ‘trial’. He doesn’t want to get married if their families can’t fit together. Summer walks past just in time to hear this, and goes to reassure Julie after her dad leaves. Julie isn’t worried about her engagement, though; she’s just worried about Marissa.
At the nightclub, Marissa tries to order a drink, but the barman won’t serve her without ID. She begs, explaining that she really needs that drink, but he’s having none of it.
Sandy arrives at Matt’s apartment and is horrified to find it ransacked, and Matt lying on the floor beaten to a pulp. Matt refuses to believe that Sandy doesn’t know what happened. See? I told you this wasn’t going to end well.
Poolhouse. Ryan gets home and finds Sadie waiting on his bed for him. Things are tense at first, but they soon kiss and then sexytimes presumably commence.
On the beach, Marissa finds Volchok and decides that because she couldn’t get any booze, she’d like to try some coke after all. Silly, silly, Marissa.
Next time on The OC: Marissa and Summer try to be friends again in S03 E20 – The Day After Tomorrow.
I'm a thirty-year-old postgrad living in Scotland. When I'm not writing (which, between my degree and Snark Squad, is almost never) I watch entirely too much TV, and live in constant fear of the day that I run out of things to watch.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
