Previously: Marissa and Summer kind of break up.
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The Day After Tomorrow
Karen: Hello all. As many before me, I go into this episode having not seen an episode of The OC ever in my life. I may prefer to pluck my eyebrows bald, only time will tell. (M: I’ll be crossing my fingers for you.)
Rachel Bilson, whom I know from her titular role in Hart of Dixie, yells at someone named Seth to come out into the room. He does, rather reluctantly, as he’s wearing head-to-toe red long underwear and looking none too happy about it. Rachel— her name is Summer here (I had to look it up)— is optimistic that the two of them are getting into Brown University, while he is not. Well, he’s sure she will, but not himself. She, of course, doesn’t want to go without him and this just very typical boyfriend/girlfriend going-to-college conversation over here. He’s looking kind of emotional because he thinks everybody dreams about going to Brown. Everybody except Lisa Simpson. (“Lisa, you’re saying Brown an awful lot…”)
I keep having to look these characters up, I don’t know anybody’s name. Ryan and Sadie are making out but then they stop to talk about a house escrow. That’s so hot. She mentions college and he gets mopey. Apparently, he’s worried about not getting accepted. Or her, or that they’ll be apart. Something like that.
Ryan walks into the kitchen to find Seth in his long underwear, plus a parka, standing in front of the fridge to cool off. If he’s not smart enough to take the six-inch-thick down-filled coat off while he’s indoors, no wonder he’s worried about getting into Brown.
Marines: He missed his interview because he was high, but this is actually a better reason he wouldn’t get in…
Karen: Summer eats breakfast on the back patio with Mischa Barton. Her I remember from waaaaay back when she played Lily #1 on All My Children. She may have been a fetus back then, I do remember she was a rather small child. ANYWAY, her name here is Marissa. She and Summer snipe at each other, being very helpful at letting me know that they don’t get along. And then comes another blast from the past, Melinda Clarke! I’ve seen her in just about everything but what stands out in my mind the most was her role on Xena, she was a total psychopath on that show and it was glorious. Julie, as she is known here, arrives to talk about college (I almost want to make a drinking game about this subject but I feel I’ll be hammered in about five minutes if I do) and chide Marissa about some boyfriend of hers waking people up with his motorcycle.
Marissa stalks off before Summer’s dad arrives at the table. Is this some sort of blended Brady Bunch family going on? But some of the kids are dating each other? Is this Deliverance? Or the actual Brady Bunch? The family dynamic totally has me confused. (And as I progressed through this episode, I realized that Seth and Ryan don’t live there, okay then.)
Mari: If it makes you feel better, your temporary confusion is highly entertaining. Thank you?
Karen: Ah, glad to be of service, then.
I swore I was going to stop chattering about actors’ past roles but the next scene has Peter Gallagher in it. Center Stage! I know most people squee about While You Were Sleeping but come on, man, Center Stage! The cheese, the frommage! It’s just a classic. (M: I want to #snarkathon it so bad. I love it.) (K: Oh man, I am so there!) So the scene: some dude is playing tennis and Sandy arrives to threaten him about something and tells him to resign.
At school, Taylor shakes down Summer, Seth and Ryan about whether they’re going to the bonfire and asks if Marissa’s going. Boy, everybody sure is up Marissa’s butt here. “Have you talked to Marissa?” “What’s Marissa doing?”
Not unnoticed by Summer, Marissa pretends she doesn’t see them as she answers her phone. It’s the previously-mentioned motorcycle-driving, grungy, tattooed boyfriend who admirably puts up with her instantaneous whining about her mother. He’s picking her up in a half hour so they can hang out at the beach with his friends. But what about the bonfire?! (Sorry, Taylor, boyfriend and beach would win out with me over school sanctioned functions ANY day. And as it turns out, the bonfire is a few days later.)
Ryan shows up at Sadie’s where she’s just as exciting as she was in her last scene: she’s doing laundry! You minx. She reads Ryan’s palm which is just foreplay for the making out that happens later in the scene, which I welcome because it means they stop talking and boring my face off.
Motorcycle boyfriend drops Marissa in her driveway so she can run in and grab a jacket. He wants her get them some money for beer because, surprise surprise! He’s broke. Even less of a surprise is Marissa filching the money out of Julie’s purse. But dude! She takes like four $20 bills. There’s no way that won’t get noticed. One bill, fine, but 80 bucks!? Don’t be greedy. She takes a moment to open her college acceptance letter from Berkeley and looks briefly pleased before the douchebag waiting outside starts to honk and snaps her out of it. She tosses the packet in the trash (M: it’s symbolism FOR HER FUTURE) as she leaves.
Summer tears into her letter like a rabid squirrel and whoo, she’s accepted to Brown! Ryan is also accepted to Berkeley. Seth doesn’t get into Brown. I’ll try to contain my dismay.
Ryan and Summer jump and squeal over their mutual college acceptance.
Karen: Seth arrives and his melancholy face leads them to believe the worst until he allays their fears by LYING about it. How does he possibly think he’ll get away with this lie? Does he plan to live in the library and pretend to go to class? Dude, this isn’t With Honors and you’re not Joe Pesci.
The next morning, Seth is calling Brown and harassing them about his rejection. They don’t seem to be very sympathetic about his girlfriend woes and hang up on him. I’m surprised they listened for that long.
Mari: I bet they are feeling good about their admission choices though.
Karen: Sandy and Kirsten smother Seth with congratulations as he tries not to look too guilty, deflecting their attention onto Ryan. The parents want to have a celebratory dinner that night with their sons and their “ladies,” to quote Sandy. Ew.
Julie is bitching Marissa out via voicemail. She THINKS her daughter got up super-early and left but Neil isn’t so naive and is sure she never came home. He also found the Berkeley packet in the trash. He stresses that Julie needs to have a talk with her.
Marissa wakes up naked next to the douchebag on his ultra-classy sheetless mattress on the floor of his squalid hellhole of a loft. Oh, even better is the wide shot of the mattress perched on wooden shipping pallets! Hee! She gets dressed to go put in an appearance at school (in what she was wearing the day before, lets advertise our Walk of Shame, shall we?) as Douchebag unshockingly comments about college being lame. He invites her along for a weekend trip to Baja with his friends, like that doesn’t sound like a drug mule story waiting to happen.
At school, Summer finds out about the parental dinner through Ryan, is peeved that Seth didn’t mention it and huffs off. Ryan finds Seth hiding behind a book, who says that he hadn’t invited her because she’ll make him dress up? She was saying something in the previous scene about making him wear a mask so maybe I don’t blame him here. Ryan wonders what to do about his relationship with Sadie since only one of them is going to college. Seth pretends he isn’t wondering the same thing himself. I’m wondering why Brown is apparently the ONLY college Seth applied to, has he never heard of safety schools? Also, if you get shot down by all of them, that doesn’t mean you can’t go at all. There’s always—gasp! Community college!
Mari: But Seth is rich and spoiled so he doesn’t even know what that is, so.
Karen: Now Sadie is making jewelry! A non-stop whirlwind, that girl is, how does Ryan keep up with her? He says they can still hang out for the summer before he goes away but she’s not crazy about a relationship that already has an expiration date. She points out that her jewelry business is very portable and that she could move to Berkeley if he wants her to. He’s very receptive to that idea.
Summer shows up to the dinner looking like she was attacked by a tweed store. I don’t understand what the deal is with all the massively warm clothes and sleeping bags she’s buying for this. They have heaters at Brown and the dorms are indoors. I know there’s a difference between California and Rhode Island but it’s not THAT cold there. I know, I’ve been. Ryan and Sadie arrive and the parentals serve dinner.
Sadie and Ryan bring up her moving to Berkeley at the dinner. The parents don’t seem to think it’s a good idea and it’s all very awkward. Sadie finally makes a run for it.
Seth drives Summer home as she prattles on about how it’s romantic for Sadie to follow Ryan to college. Seth doesn’t think so, he thinks college should be the priority, not a lovelife. Summer thinks his attitude means that he doesn’t love her and runs inside.
Julie tries to talk to Marissa about the self-destructive behavior and Berkeley. Marissa promises to think about going, rather than shooting it down outright.
Ryan meets Sadie for breakfast and invites her to the bonfire. She agrees to go, not very enthusiastically. He apologizes for the dinner and she says that maybe an impulse-move isn’t such a great idea. She doesn’t want to get in the way of his college experience. He very sincerely wants her to go.
Summer vents to Taylor about not understanding Seth’s ‘tude about going to Brown together. Taylor hilariously compares Seth to a silverback gorilla that needs to be shot with a tranquilizer dart. I kind of like her and wish she’d gotten more screentime this episode than Marissa or Sadie. Well, Marissa wasn’t so bad. I definitely could’ve done without Sadie.
Sandy gives Ryan the peace offering of his Berkeley sweatshirt to wear to the bonfire and even donates Kirsten’s for Sadie to wear. Sandy goes into the details of the living arrangements out there being more complicated and expensive if Sadie’s in the mix. He’s very polite and supportive in this tactic, it’s rather ingenious because it makes Ryan seem to realize that it might not be a good idea.
Marissa tells Douchebag that she can’t go to Baja. I can’t tell if he’s disappointed that she’s not going or if he was counting on her to bring money.
Ryan shows up at Sadie’s wearing Sandy’s Berkeley sweatshirt. I notice that he didn’t bring the other shirt. She bounds into the room with news about an artist co-op they can live in near Berkeley. He pretends to be excited and I notice that her claims all episode about being psychic are indeed bullshit because otherwise, she’d know that he wants to back out. She should know anyway just from the look on his face.
Seth walks into Summer’s bedroom looking for her but she’s not there. What is there, is her ultra-weird and creepy collage of the two of them and Brown. Instead of being alarmed, he looks touched.
Marissa apologizes to Summer about being a raging bitch and wants to make amends, starting with letting Summer vent to her about Seth. Summer gives Marissa a Berkeley sweatshirt that she bought months ago.
Mari: Not the audience, though. We’ve been here before.
Karen: At the bonfire, Taylor takes a picture of “the core four.” Seth winds up looking like a serial killer in the final pic. He takes Summer aside to talk to her while Taylor whisks Sadie away to the food and talks her ear off, leaving Ryan and Marissa alone. They awkwardly talk and Ryan tells her that even though they’re not together anymore, he’ll still be there for her if she needs him.
The tennis player has called Sandy not to resign, but to essentially offer him a bribe.
The guy that Sandy and the tennis player have been arguing about, Matt, shows up at the Cohen door with his face looking like tenderized meat. He tells Kirsten that Sandy needs to let go of his crusade before it’s too late.
Instead of telling Summer the truth, Seth says that he doesn’t want to go to Brown. What a weasel. Like she isn’t going to take it any way but to think that he doesn’t want to be around her.
After observing Ryan with all his college-bound buddies, Sadie realizes that she shouldn’t go to Berkeley or even date him anymore since their lives will be too divergent. Dear Ryan. Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You.
Kirsten wants Sandy to promise to drop the hospital deal. He refuses and she stalks out of the house.
Summer cries and tears up her creepy collage. Good riddance. Marissa puts her Berkeley sweatshirt away in a drawer without washing it. They were at a bonfire, I’m sure it reeks of smoke. She notices Summer blubbering and goes to comfort her. Seth does a similar thing for Ryan by laying on the floor next to his bed. It’s how dudes do the feelings thing.
And that concludes this recap of The OC. I can’t say I feel like I missed out on not watching it so, yay me?
Mari: Sure, but how do you feel about your eyebrows?
Karen: Like it’s okay if I skip the waxer once in a while. Sandy-perspective and all.
Next time on The OC: Ryan wants to invite his mom to graduation maybe in S03 E21 – The Dawn Patrol.
Hook-nosed hunchback seeks kindred spirit. The ideal candidate will have a doctorate in Australian theology, love caves, speak Urdu. If you're looking for a girl who giggles, don't bother to respond. I'm strictly a guffaw type.
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I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
