Previously: Jacob tells a long story and Bella makes it all about her.
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Annie: Bella is driving home, paying little attention to the drive, but instead, thinking all about her visit with Jacob, when she spots Edward’s Volvo (M: Sparkle) in her rearview mirror. Edward is following way too closely behind her. That sounds super safe. Bella seems worried about how much trouble she’s going to be in, which is not a thing that should be happening, as Bella is an adult and Edward is her boyfriend. Not her parent.
Bella drives straight to Angela’s house, calling herself a chicken. Yeah, Bella. You’re scared to be alone with your boyfriend. You’re such a big chicken!
Marines: She’s scared to even look in the rearview or acknowledge his presence. It makes me sick to think about this not normal reaction to her boyfriend’s presence.
Catherine: Yeah, this is a definitely not okay.This is something that a chain-email from your grandma warns you about. You’re supposed to pull into the police station, Bella!
Kirsti: SERIOUSLY. Everything about this is super fucking creepy. And controlling. And awful. Also, the sun glints off things twice in as many paragraphs, so it’s bad writing on top of everything else.
Annie: Ben answers Angela’s door and this confuses Bella, somehow. She wonders if Angela is home, but then Bella hears Angela calling to her from inside the house. Some guy shows up to pick up Ben and he and Angela say goodbye by ‘enthusiastically’ kissing and acting like they like one another. Basically the opposite of how Bella and Edward act.
Angela invites Bella up to her bedroom so they can start addressing the giant stack of graduation announcements. (K: I continue to be confused and weirdly fascinated by the concept of graduation announcements.) As they work, they engage in some fantastically cliched dialogue about how glad they are that their boyfriends have other boys in their lives to do boy stuff with. Angela then asks Bella if anything is wrong, because we can’t go too long without making everything all about Bella. Bella tells us Angela must be able to see how anxious she is.
Mari: How the hell is Bella addressing those envelopes?
Annie: At first, Bella decides to tell Angela that she doesn’t want to talk about it. But then Bella decides she wants some perspective from a normal human girlfriend. Because all her friends are rocks. Or maybe vampires.
Bella tells Angela that Edward is not happy because of Jacob Black. Angela tries to tell Bella that Edward is jealous, but Bella argues it’s more than that. (C: No, it fucking isn’t. Don’t try to make this noble, girl.) She tells Angela that Edward thinks Jacob is a bad influence on Bella. Angela swears that Edward must be jealous, because of the way Jacob looks at Bella, and because Bella and Jacob are so close. Angela explains that Edward is just acting like any other boy would.
Can I call BS here? This is hugely problematic as a message. It’s a bad idea to teach young women that it’s perfectly normal for your boyfriend to control who you and and can’t be with, that it’s okay for your boyfriend to be mad at you for having relationships with other males, that it’s perfectly normal that your boyfriend gets so mad that you’re afraid to be alone with him, that he’s just jealous and acting like any boy would. Nope. He’s acting like a controlling dick, because he is a controlling dick. It’s not romantic. Fuck that.
The two of them move on to talking about what college they’re going to be going to in the fall. Bella tells Angela that she will be going to Alaska. Angela tells Bella that she’ll miss her and I’m shocked because I can’t imagine anyone ever missing Bella Swan. But hey. I’m not a fictional character dreamed up by Stephenie Meyer. (M: Praise be.) (C: One of the many reasons we love you, Annie.)
K: Meanwhile, the post-it note I have stuck to the page says “Going to the same university as your high school sweetheart is a fucking terrible idea. At least pick different schools in the same city.” Even with a student population of 30,000, universities are way smaller than you’d think and you constantly run into people you’d prefer not to see. I should know. I’ve attended four of them.
Annie: Yeah, I went to a university on the other side of the world and I still ran into people I was trying to avoid from middle school. Expand your universe a bit, Bella.
Bella and Angela finish addressing the envelopes and then Bella stays to help her stamp them, because she is afraid to leave and be alone with her boyfriend.
So to be clear. Bella is afraid to leave, because she won’t be protected from Edward and his anger. Bella tries to smile, but her lips tremble, because she is afraid of her boyfriend.
BIG. RED. FLAG.
Ben returns and Bella takes that as her cue to leave. She feels jumpy heading out to her truck and anxious as she drives home, watching for the vamp-mobile to tailgate her home, but it doesn’t appear.
Bella lets herself into her house and finds Charlie watching TV. He asks Bella about her day and she tells him that she’d been to LaPush. Charlie doesn’t seem surprised, and Bella the Cheating Narrator tells us it must be because Billy called to tell him. Charlie asks if Bella made it to Angela’s house, and they chat about that for a bit before they finish dinner and Bella looks for some busy work she can do to so she can avoid Edward. She can’t find anything else to do, so she tells Charlie that she’s heading upstairs to study. Bella is still scared to be alone with Edward, to the point she’s scared that he may kill her. Swoooooooon. What a catch.
Mari: This is not an exaggeration. Charlie says, “see you later” and Bella thinks, “if I survive.” Gotta love that real possibility of death in a relationship!
Catherine: I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: This book should’ve been a horror novel.
Annie: In her bedroom, Edward is of course waiting for her, because of course he is. Edward stands there, giving Bella the silent treatment, glaring at her, while she begs him to talk to her. Edward closes his eyes and whispers angrily at Bella. With his eyes closed. I feel the need to highlight the fact that he is whispering at her angrily with his eyes closed. Because this seems so fucking strange. But this is the picture Meyer is painting for us. To build suspense? Who knows.
Mari: IDK, I’m kind of picturing something like this:
K: Everything about this is super fucking weird. And rage inducing. Especially the part where she tells us that Edward is “too angry to speak” because of Bella’s actions. Namely, going somewhere without his permission. Yeah, this has ALL the hallmarks of a healthy relationship and should DEFINITELY be put on a pedestal for teenagers to admire and swoon over…
Annie: Edward is whispering at Bella angrily with his eyes closed, telling her that she almost made him break the treaty. Because he almost came after her. To me, this reads like when an abuser tells his victim that she made him hit her because she made him mad.
She almost made him? Nah, man. You’re a person, in charge of your own reactions and actions. Absolutely not. Teenagers, do not listen to YA writers that tell you otherwise. (C: PLEASE don’t.)
Edward opens his eyes; they’re cold and hard, y’all. They argue some more about Bella visiting Jacob, and Eddie even accuses her of wanting to start a fight and tells her that she’s no judge of what is or isn’t dangerous. The first clue that she can’t judge what is or isn’t safe? She has you as a boyfriend.
Bella wraps her arms around Edward’s cold, icy body and apologizes to him. She actually apologizes to him. (M: FOR LIVING?)
Bella tells Edward she figured that he would have been gone hunting longer but Alice’s super power of contrivance again tipped Edward off to the fact that Alice could no longer see Bella, so Edward cut his trip short. Edward tells Bella she’s risking her life by going to see the werewolves and I LOL forever at him. If anyone is going to be murdering Bella, it’s him!
They fight about werewolves some more and then Bella Edward if he’s jealous. Eddie swears he just wants Bella to be safe. He keeps using that word. I don’t think it means what he thinks it means. (K: A+) She tells him that she loves him more than anything and he’s the love of her existence. He tells her she smells like a dog, but he smiles crookedly, so apparently that means their fight is over.
K: It also means that the Snark Ladies get to take some very welcome shots. WOO, BOOZE.
Annie: Edward and his vampire brothers make plans to go hunting again that weekend. Bella figures she can go and visit Jacob again while Eddie is gone. Bella calls to tell Jacob she’ll be free to see him on Saturday while Edward takes his car home, because she thinks the werewolf issue is settled. LOL, okay.
Bella leaves work on Thursday to find Alice waiting for her in the vamp-mobile. Edward has decided to go hunting early and in the meanwhile, has sent Alice to kidnap Bella to drive her to and from school and basically hold her hostage so she cannot go to see Jacob. Alice tells Bella that Edward has paid her to baby-sit Bella every time Edward goes away.
Back at Casa Cullens, Bella sees Alice’s payment (a yellow Porsche) and comments how over the top it is. I think the word you’re looking for is crazy.
Bella asks Alice if the whole thing isn’t a bit controlling (it’s a lot controlling) or psychotic (most def), but it all makes sense to Alice, because young werewolves are dangerous.
Mari: I hate everything. This is sick.
Catherine: Nah, this is totally love. This is how love works. With kidnapping.
K: He is literally rewarding his sister with a car for KEEPING HIS GIRLFRIEND HOSTAGE EVERY TIME HE LEAVES TOWN WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK IS HAPPENING AND HOW DO PEOPLE LIKE THIS SHIT.
Annie: Esme has food ready for Bella and they have collected all of her favourite movies and Alice gives Bella a pedicure. So for being held against her will, it wasn’t that bad.
Bella asks for permission to use the phone and they try to keep her from that by telling her Charlie knows where she is, so there is no need to use a phone. Bella explains that as she’s being held prisoner, she has plans to needs to cancel plans and Alice reluctantly lets Bella use the phone. She calls Jacob to tell him she’s being held hostage and he’s less than thrilled about it. He offers to that he can get the teen wolf pack and come and rescue her, but she tells Jacob it’s okay, because they at least mean well
Next, Bella phones Edward and tells him that he’s in serious trouble. Haaaaa.
Okay, girl. Whatever you say.
Bella decides it’s time for bed, and Alice follows her upstairs because she needs supervision at all times. Alice wants to show her where her things are. Bella turns on the light to show her where her things are. Bella turns on the light to find Edward’s room all rearranged so a bed can fit in the room. Alice explains that Edward did it all for Bella so she wouldn’t have to sleep on a couch.
Catherine: Gilded cage, my friend.
K: Also, the bed – iron frame covered in iron roses – sounds like something out of a Bon Jovi music video from the early 9os.
Annie: Alice leaves and Bella decides she’ll show Edward by sleeping on the couch anyway.
As Bella starts to drift off, she hears a knock on the door. Bella figures that it’s Alice, but instead Rosalie is at the door, asking if she can come in.
End. Of. Chapter.
Next time on Eclipse: A genuinely depressing Chapter 07.
Fuchsia-haired, caffeine enthusiast, dog person, Raptors fan, sometimes blogger, music & social media geek, freelancer, human being. She/her.
I am a 30-something year-old human woman who lives in Maine. I'm a freelance writer who mostly spends time that I should be doing that, watching T.V. I also love reading and comic books way too much.
I'm a 30-something librarian and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. Leader of Team Heartless Cow. I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and read more than is good for me.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
