Eclipse Chapter 07 – Heartbreak break

Previously: Edward hired Alice to kidnap Bella.
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Catherine: I can’t believe I got this chapter. I’m actually a little freaked out because I remember it being pretty upsetting and not very funny or easy to make fun of. In fact, I feel compelled to issue a trigger warning here for sexual assault and rape, on the grounds that it’s almost definitely gonna get discussed. Because it’s sort of what this chapter is about. But it’s only in a flashback if that makes you guys feel any better?

Annie: Yeah, I’d completely blocked this part out of my memory, probably on account of it being trigging. Thanks, Stephenie.

Catherine: THANKS, STEPHENIE.

So, Bella ends last chapter by describing Rosalie’s face as ‘perfect’ and starts it out by describing it as ‘breathtaking’. How much better of a series would this be if it was about Bella discovering that she’s a lesbian? SO much better.

Kirsti: I’ve spent a long time pondering the countless ways in which this series could be better. But most of them include Edward dying in a fire. Your version is probably more profitable. 

Marines: All I’m saying is that Edward dying in a fire and Bella being a lesbian aren’t mutually exclusive. 

Catherine: That’s a good point.

Rosalie comes into the room and Bella scoots over on the sofa to make room for her. She tells us that she’s nervous because Rosalie is the one Cullen that doesn’t like her. That’s a bit presumptuous, Bella. You don’t know that any of the others like you either.

Rosalie asks if she can talk to Bella for a minute and she’s acting super nice as she mentions that Edward so rarely leaves Bella alone and she figured she better make the best of this opportunity. GUYS maybe they aren’t gonna make out but maybe Rosalie is gonna kill Bella? Maybe she’s been working with Victoria this whole time. I know, I know: hope is pointless.

K: Whereas my interpretation of this is that Rosalie can only talk honestly to Bella when Edward’s not around, which is yet another red flag for this fucked up relationship. 

Annie: Add it to the long-growing list between to 24/7 supervision and dismantling Bella’s truck so Edward can control where she goes and who she sees. This is the worst game of bingo ever.

Mari: In Fifty Shades, there is this awful moment when Ana discovers that Grey has a “proscribed list of visitors” for her. He’s controlling who she comes in contact with, and she doesn’t even know it. This reminds me of that so much and it’s almost more unsettling (okay, not more. Just different unsettling) because there are all these people Bella is having daily interactions with who will not have honest interactions with her because her boyfriend is a controlling buttmunch.

Catherine: Bella wonders what Rosalie could possibly want to say to her and Rosalie finally lays it out.

“She laughed again, sounding oddly embarrassed. “I’m going to try to tell you why I think you should stay human—why I would stay human if I were you.”

‘Because I don’t like you and I don’t want to spend the rest of my immortality with you’. There. Done. No, she doesn’t say that. But she should. (K: Agreed.)

Bella just says ‘oh’ to this and then she mentally hits on Rosalie some more.

“Did Edward ever tell you what led to this?’ she asked, gesturing to her glorious immortal body.”

Look, thinking your friend is pretty doesn’t make you gay. I’m not saying it does. But describing your enemy as ‘breathtaking’ ‘perfect’ and ‘glorious’ all in about 10 minutes makes you pretty fucking gay, Bella. But hey, dating Edward would make anyone realize they were a lesbian.

Bella says that Edward told her that Rosalie was turned because of something close to what happened to her in Port Angeles, “only no one was there to save you.” Yeah, this is where it starts to get a bit dicey, guys. (M: I’m already raging over “no one there to save you.” GAH. UGH.) (C: Buckle up!)  Rosalie tells her story here and to be perfectly honest, though there are parts that are kinda WTF, it’s not really funny. It’s pretty heartbreaking. So… welcome to the chapter.

K: Look, it’s definitely triggering and heartbreaking. But it’s also by FAR the most compelling and badass part of this entire series. So…there’s that.

Catherine: True. Rosalie asks if that’s all that Edward told Bella and Bella confirms that it is and says that her voice is ‘blank with confusion’ again. Which still isn’t a thing.

She asks if there’s more to the story.

“She looked up at me and smiled; it was a harsh, bitter—but still stunning—expression. “Yes,” she said, “There was more.”

Still stunning. Get a room, you guys.

Mari: I’m sorry, but it bothers me a lot. Like, guys, she’s had bad stuff happen to her but let’s still acknowledge that she’s beautiful. LET’S NOT GET CRAZY.

Catherine: Bella’s narration in this part just serves to remind us that she’s both 1-still there and 2-still awful. Rosalie asks if Bella wants to hear her story and says that it doesn’t have a happy ending because if any of their stories had happy endings they’d all be under gravestones right now. If only, for Edward, amiright?

Anyway, Rosalie says that she grew up during the Great Depression in a solidly middle class family. Her father had a good job but she didn’t realize at the time how lucky that was. She says that in 1933 she was 18 and very beautiful (her ‘beauty’ later becoming her vampire power which I forgot about in our recent ranking of shittiest Twilight vampire powers) her parents saw her beauty as a boon to them because they were social climbers and knew that they could marry her up to someone more rich.

She also says that, at the time she was thrilled with her looks and pleased by the fact that men started noticing her by the time she was 12.

Hey guys, did I mention this is a fucking depressing chapter?

K: SERIOUSLY. It’s especially awful because she doesn’t say that she was pleased by the fact that BOYS started noticing her by the time she was 12. She expressly says “men”. Which is suuuuuuuuper skeevy. 

Annie: Yup. A detail that actually helps hit the horrible, gross and depressing reality home. So was that a good (read: deliberate) writing choice? Or happy accident?

Mari: IDK, but I just finished editing a Game of Thrones post so all this is reminding me a little of young Sansa, in a 99% less awesome way. 

Catherine: Oh wow, THANKS, MARI. Everything is worse for forever. Cry break. 

So human Rosalie was very silly and shallow but she was content with her life and assumed that she would be able to one day get a big house and a rich husband. But she says there was one thing that she wanted more than that: her best friend had married and had a baby young and the baby was a super cute little boy with curly black hair and dimples. She was jealous for the first time ever and she wanted a dang baby.

Rosalie mentions that it was a different time and Bella takes a mental vacation during this (soon to be) horrifying tale to realize that this is basically the world that Edward would’ve grown up in. Then she wonders if her current world is confusing to Edward. So, just in case you were wondering since Edward isn’t actually in this chapter, if Bella is still freakishly obsessed with him then yes the answer is yes.

Annie: Rosalie is sharing some really dark shit, and showing her vulnerabilities, something that this character doesn’t do. Can Bella focus and give Rosalie her full attention and be respectful of what’s going on here? Nope. She’s all ‘OMG, what does that mean for Edward? What was life like for him? His poor little brain must be broken by the differences in the world now!’ First, he wasn’t living under a rock; he’s experienced all these changes over the last 100 years as they’ve happened. The changes would not and should not be confusing to him. And second, could you just cool it and think about someone else for a fucking second? Bella is still the worst.

Catherine: For real. He’s not Tom Hanks in Big, girl. He’s been watching this all go down. He’s had longer to get used to ‘the world’ than you have. 

Back to Rosalie’s FUCKING DEATH. 

Rosalie says that there was a very rich family in town called the Kings and the father of the family owned the bank where her father worked. The son, named Royce, was supposed to take over at the bank soon and happened to see her there when she was visiting her father. So Royce started sending her roses and courting her. She was pretty excited about this since he was super rich and handsome. They got engaged really quickly but didn’t spend a lot of time alone together. Rosalie says that whenever they spent time together Royce liked to have people see them and see that she was on his arm.

Their wedding was supposed to be super expensive and Rosalie was excited that she was going to be able to have kids of her own soon. Suddenly Rosalie breaks off and starts getting angry. Bella realizes that she is about to get to the part where she actually died. Rosalie says that she was visiting her friend and her friend’s baby one night and thinking about how she wished that Royce was more like her friend’s husband, who was sweet.

K: Oh GOOD. Because what this book needed was more red flag filled relationships.

Catherine: So Rosalie starts walking home and it’s well after dark. She comes across Royce and his friends who have clearly been drinking. I won’t go any farther into it since you guys can all guess what happened next and it’s a story we’ve all, unfortunately, heard multiple times before. The book doesn’t go any farther into it either but it’s heavily implied that Rosalie was raped by these assholes. Sorry: “men”. (A: You were right the first time.)

Although, I say implied because it leaves just enough to the imagination that when I was originally reading this as a kid I didn’t actually realize that she had been raped and I thought they just beat her up or something. I’m dumb. Or optimistic? Hey, you guys still with me or are we all fucking depressed now?

K: Sometimes I honestly wonder if Stephenie Meyer meant it to read like they just beat her up, because that’s totally how a lot of teenagers would read it. But as an adult? It’s blatantly obvious that she was gang raped and left to die in the street as her fiance and his friends walked away, “still laughing”. What the fuck, Steph.

Catherine: It is some incredibly dark stuff for a YA novel. Or even like, any novel.

Rosalie picks up the story when the assholes left her lying in the street and Carlisle found her. He brought her back to his… house? I guess. Or wherever and did his medical stuff to heal her. I think she actually did get beat up quite a bit as well since she was on the verge of death? IDK I really don’t want to think about it.

Rosalie says that she had known Carlise, Esme and Carlise’s brother (which Edward was pretending to be at that point) and she had never liked them because they were prettier than she was. It sounds dumb but it’s actually kinda poignant in context. Rosalie starts to get a bit better and then the pain gets 1000% worse and she feels like she’s on fire. Carlisle sat with her and held her hand and told her he was sorry.

God dammit, Meyer I DON’T WANT TO FEEL ANYTHING FOR THESE CHARACTERS BUT NOW I DO.

Shit.

K: Right there with you, friend. How is it that Meyer consistently manages to write secondary characters who have stories that are like 12,000 times more compelling and feels-inducing than the stories of her main characters? Because Rosalie’s story is genuinely heartbreaking.

Annie: I wonder if it’s because Stephenie writes fluff ‘romance’ garbage for teenagers  and that Rosalie’s story is ‘too heavy’ for the young, innocent minds of teenagers or her community, so she can’t make something like this the focus of her story. Or she’s just a terrible writer.

Mari: Honestly, guys, I think we are giving her too much credit. She literally wrote some of the most heinous protagonists of all time and I’m not going to give her credit for her side characters seeming much less heinous by comparison. Especially because we see them once every hundred pages or so and usually only to tell a story in flashback. I mean, that said, any story of a gang rape and near murder IS incredibly sad and feels inducing, but that’s a given and not any sort of writing-fu on Meyer’s part. She basically just filled Rosalie’s backstory with all of the worst things and it worked. I’m not discounting this as a story to be told by any means, especially because rape is sadly such a widespread and often reoccurring evil. I’m just saying that rape is awful so let’s not get crazy congratulating Meyer on giving us feels. 

Catherine: That is a great point, actually. It wouldn’t take a lot of writing-fu to make this story sad. It’s sort of ready-made sad. And it could be viewed as kinda cheap on Meyer’s part to gain sympathy that way. As long as we’re hesitantly admitting things while trying not to trigger anyone, but I’m just talking about the book, guys! Not real life, obviously. Please, please remember that.

So, Edward was pissed that Carlisle had turned someone else. Remember, at this time (and sort of always) Edward thinks that being a vampire is a curse and no one else should have to wander through the centuries lost and alone and all that crap because no one was touching his dick.

She overhears Edward and Carlisle talking about her and Carlisle says that he couldn’t let her die because it was “too much waste.” I’m honestly not sure if this is supposed to mean that Carlisle felt that she was too young to die or too pretty. I hope it’s the former. Him turning her because she was too pretty to die is kinda fucking ridiculous. 

Mari: Because of everything said about Rosalie’s beauty, and because of the way Edward reacts to it being Rosalie, it reads like Carlisle is saying she’s too pretty to die. WTF.

Catherine: It does. Maybe that’s just shitty writing or maybe that’s really what she meant.

Edward points out that Rosalie is too recognizable and the Kings would have the money to put out a huge search party looking for her. He also calls Royce a ‘fiend’ and Rosalie says that she was pleased that the Cullens knew that Royce was her attacker. Edward asks what they were gonna do with her and Carlisle says that it’s up to her and she can go her own way if she wants to when she wakes up. But Rosalie realized then that she couldn’t stand the thought of being alone and that she knew her life was over. By this point, also Carlisle had told her about the whole vampire thing, just to clarify.

She wakes up and realizes that she’s even more beautiful than before and she realizes that it’s shallow but she’s happy with that. But she quickly began to feel like her beauty was what caused her to be attacked and began wishing that she was not beautiful so that she could’ve married someone who loved her and had children.

Just checking in, we all still here? I know this chapter is downright hilarious.

K: Anyone else need a chocolate break? I know I do.

Mari: I don’t have chocolate, but I do have a quick word on all this: Rosalie’s reaction to her own beauty is probably the most heartbreaking thing and it’s cheapened because we don’t talk about it and because Rosalie keeps calling herself shallow. It’s actually really understandable that she would feel like her beauty, something she treasured, was what caused her to get raped. But friendly reminder that nothing a person does, nothing a person is, nothing a person looks like invites them to be raped. I hate that this is just casually thrown in with nothing to refute it. I feel like it’s irresponsible to say that Rosalie wished she weren’t so beautiful so that she would’ve never gotten raped AND LEAVE IT AT THAT.

TEENS OF THE WORLD: THIS IS NOT HOW IT SHOULD WORK. You should be able to feel good about yourself and not worry that this will someone invite another person to rape you. 

So, yeah, great, now I do need a chocolate break. 

Catherine: We don’t have chocolate for you guys but we do have good messages to counteract the bad ones in this book. 

Rosalie goes quiet for a while and then turns back to Bella and mentions that her record of not killing humans is almost as clean as Carlisle’s, better than Esme’s, even and:

“–a thousand times better than Edward”.

Just in case you forgot your bf is a serial killer, Bella.

Rosalie says that she’s never tasted human blood but she did murder 5 humans, ‘if you can really call them human’. Guess which 5? Yeah, that’s right. You know that’s right. But she was careful not to spill any of her attackers blood because she didn’t want any of their gross rapist blood anyway.

Hang on, I get genuinely excited at this part because I still think it’s cool.

So she saved Royce for last so that he would hear about his friend’s murders, connect it to her rape and get scared for his own life, which is so goddamn elegant, Rosalie. When she finally found him he was hiding in a windowless room behind a door as thick as a bank vault’s, with armed guards. She suddenly remembers that she did murder his guards as well. Which, admittedly is a bit shitty since they were just doing their job.

She admits that she got really theatrical with it and put on a wedding dress that she stole when she found Royce. And then she tortured him all night and finally killed him.

Can we just?

K: I fucking LOVE everything about this revenge plot. I mean, not the fact that it exists, obviously. Because no one should be gang raped and left for dead. NO ONE. But goddamn, that’s some A+ badassery and revenge. You murder those rapists, Rosalie. You murder them good. (Now I kind of want a book where she becomes a rapist killing vigilante to save other girls from the fate she suffered…)

Mari: The promotion of violence escalated quickly in this post. 

Catherine: We are, occasionally, very vindictive ladies.

Rosalie suddenly realizes that she’s getting super descriptive about her rapist’s murder and asks Bella if she’s scaring her. Bella lies and says that she isn’t.

Rosalie asks why Edward didn’t tell her all of this and Bella says that he doesn’t like to tell other people’s stories because he feels like he’s betraying confidence. Especially since he can hear and see more of the story in their heads then they maybe want him to.

“She smiled and shook her head. “I probably ought to give him more credit. He’s really quite decent, isn’t he?”

No, he’s not, Rosalie. Kill him too. (K: Pretty please?) 

Annie: That’s a low bar to set for your male characters. Controlling, abusive, but at least you’re not a rapist? Then you’re ‘quite decent’. Sad state of affairs.

Catherine: Anyway, so Rosalie admits that initially after they met, she didn’t like Bella because she was jealous on some level that Edward had immediately fallen for her when he’d never been into Rosalie. She says that she was used to people being attracted to her in some way and when she and Edward first met he acted like she had cooties all the time because, hello, Edward. Count your blessing, Rosalie. He could be standing over you creepily watching you sleep and taking your car apart so it can’t drive.

K: “We’ve been siblings for like a hundred years and I’m in no way romantically interested in him. But I was still jealous.” Excuse me while I headdesk forever.

Mari: “I’m beautiful and you are beautiful so girl rivalry, obvs.” 

Catherine: Rosalie also notes that when they first met the Denali clan Edward wasn’t interested in ‘all those females’ either and Bella takes a minute to be seethingly jealous that her boyfriend didn’t hit on any women decades ago. Makes sense, Bella.

Rosalie misreads Bella’s expression and she’s all ‘not that you aren’t pretty obviously…’

Bella points out, again, that Rosalie is ‘the most beautiful person on the planet’. Hmm, I could’ve sworn she thought Edward was the most beautiful person on the planet.

 

If this doesn’t end in a lesbian pillow fight, I’m walking.

Rosalie thanks her and Bella asks if she likes her now and Rosalie is basically like, no. Sorry. You still suck. (K: LOL.) But she finally admits why she truly doesn’t like Bella and-spoiler alert- it’s not something reasonable like anything about her personality or how annoying she is. Rosalie admits that she’s jealous of Bella’s human life. Ya know, the one where she does nothing but mope around and bitch at her dad and friends and wish she was dead. That one.

Rosalie can’t believe that Bella would choose to throw that all away by becoming something that she feels like she was cursed into being.

Bella narrow-sightedly reminds her that she did get a happy ending: she has Emmett. And remember, to Bella having a boyfriend is THE PINNACLE OF EXISTING SO WHY ISN’T SHE HAPPY???

Rosalie says that she got ‘half’ of her happy ending and reminds us all of the time that she met Emmett by saving him from the Youth Mauling Bear. She asks Bella if she can guess why she saved Emmett from a bear attack and brought him back to Carlisle.

Because that’s the right thing to do? Because the Youth Mauling Bear had the wrong person, and he was really trying to get to Bella but didn’t realize that she hadn’t been born yet? No, it was because Emmett had dark curls and dimples (in the book) and he reminded her of her friend’s baby. Which is… a little fucking weird, Rosalie. A grown man reminded you of a baby that you once knew and then you started dating him?

Mari: IT’S A LOT WEIRD. It’s a lot weird especially if you consider other instances of old/grown person falling in love with children/young people in the book. This whole, “you remind me of a baby I used to know” thing is WEIRD and I want it to stop.

Catherine: I’m gonna assume that she means it in an offhand way and that she really saved him because she felt it was the right thing to do. She admits that it was selfish since she hated being a vampire and she was now consigning someone else to it. But she had to or whatever.

BTW, just to answer a question that I just thought of for the first ever time and you may have too: No, Emmett is not actually the friend’s baby. If he had been that might have been sorta interesting. I mean, also sort creepy, but not werewolf dating a baby creepy so it would’ve been a step up, in my opinion. (K: SPOILERS, SWEETIE.) (C: Whoops! I’m already slipping!) 

But no, he just looked like the baby and the baby, named ‘Henry’ was never mentioned again. The end.

Oh, wait, no, not the end. Sorry.

Rosalie talks about how much she loves Emmett and that she feels luckier than she deserves. She describes her relationship with Emmett sorta interestingly for a book that seems to be all SOULMATES all the time. She says that Emmett is exactly the type of person someone like her needs and that he also needs her. Which is a little less intense and more realistic, I think. Sorry guys, I think I might still genuinely like Rosalie and Emmett in general. Whoops again. 

But Rosalie says that she regrets that she’ll never get to have kids with Emmett and never get to grow old with him. Rosalie realizes that probably sounds weird to Bella and points out that, while Bella is mature in some ways she’s still far too young to know what she’s going to want in ten years or so and too young to, ya know, DIE.

Then she says this:

“Just think about it a little. Once it’s done, it can’t be undone. Esme’s made do with us as substitutes…and Alice doesn’t remember anything human so she can’t miss it…You will remember, though. It’s a lot to give up”.

Which makes me feel like she thinks that the only thing a woman becoming a vampire would be giving up is the ability to have children. Which is a shitty message. Especially since we all know that Bella doesn’t actually have to give that up in the end so everything works out and she get to have a baby which is obviously the only thing a woman can ever really want to do with her life that involves being alive, right?

She was doing so well, too. Dammit.

K: It’s super frustrating and icky, but at the same time, I kind of weirdly appreciate that Rosalie’s all “BUT THINK OF THE LONG TERM”, because Bella is 500% focusing on the quickest way to getting laid and has zero thoughts for anything beyond that point. 

Mari: Bella can’t even listen to a story of someone being raped and dying without thinking about stupid shit that relates back to Edward. I think we are beyond hope for this girl making a decent decision ever, but nice try Rosalie. 

Catherine: Anyway, Rosalie apologizes for being a bitch to Bella all this time and Bella forgives her and Rosalie agrees to try to be less of a bitch. Then Rosalie reminds Bella not to give Edward too hard of a time when he gets back for ‘keeping her locked up’ because he just loves her so, so much.

Dammit, Rosalie! YOU WERE DOING SO WELL. (M: I tried to tell you: she’s still written by Stephenie Meyer.) (C: I should’ve listened!) 

Then she leaves so that Bella can sleep. Guess no one is gonna stand over her then? How will she get to sleep? Ambien?

That night Bella dreams that she is bleeding in the street while an angel watches her. I don’t know. Whatever, guys. I can’t describe that any better.

The next morning Alice drives her to school and Bella is all grumps on account of her being falsely imprisoned by her abusive boyfriend and everything. Pfft. Now she’s just LOOKING for reasons to be upset, amiright?

Alice only worries that Edward is going to revoke the Porsche he gave her because Bella isn’t having any fun being kidnapped. Way to prioritize, Alice. Why don’t you ‘see’ your front door being broken down and a swat team swarming the glass vampire house? This makes Bella feel guilty and she goes to class and thinks about how ‘unbearable’ it is without Edward there.

I’ll tell you what’s motherfucking unbearable. (Actually not this chapter. There have been many bears.)

Mike asks her after class if Edward is away hiking and if she wants to do something that night.

Bella thinks:

“How could he still sound hopeful?”

And I burst out laughing. Because yeah, how? How can anyone in your presence, really?

Bella says she can’t go out because her boyfriend is holding her hostage—oh, I mean, she has a perfectly consensual ‘slumber party’ to attend. Yeah, that’s it. Totally normal and not at all illegal. But hark! What’s this? A loud noise cuts their conversation off and Jacob rolls into the school parking lot on his motorcycle.

He yells at Bella playfully to get on. Bella realizes what he is doing and tells Mike to tell Alice that she went home sick.

Hang on, guys.

Mike agrees, grumpily and she kisses him on the cheek and says she owes him one as she jumps on Jacob’s bike.

Hold on, I know. Just hold on.

She sees Alice standing a few feet away, looking pissed and shoots her a ‘pleading look’. Then they’re off and Bella prays that they will make it over the Quileute border before Alice can catch up with them.

Ssh, I know. Just give me a sec. I’ll get to it.

She’s clinging to Jacob so she feels him relax when they cross the boundary line and he’s all ‘not bad for a prison break’.

She tells him it was good thinking. He says:

“I remember what you said about the psychic leech not being about to predict what I’m going to do. I’m glad you didn’t think of this—she wouldn’t have let you go to school.”

I know. Just another sec.

Bella admits that she purposefully didn’t consider it and Jacob laughs and asks what she wants to do. Bella laughs and says, ‘Anything!’ And admits that if feels great to be free.

End of chapter.

Okay.

Guys.

Jesus.

Okay.

This book. This fucking tree thieving, life draining, leftover jizz rag from a dystopian future full of cunts is now actively ruining my life. 

K: I 100% agree, but have to interrupt to give you a round of applause for that description. A+, my friend.

Catherine: This is now about Bella ESCAPING her beloved boyfriend? That’s what just happened. This is the second time that’s happened so far. She keeps escaping him and it’s supposed to be adorable and playful. Her friend had to go through planning and evasive maneuvers to rescue her and that was supposed to be cute?

No one calls fucking Taken cute. (M: LOLOL.)

Annie: It’s cute that Bella needs to be constantly ‘rescued’ from this monster that she claims is her soulmate and love of eternity. That to her, getting away from this makes her feel ‘free’ and happy.

Catherine: That is so messed up! Edward kidnapped her against her will. He did. That’s what that was. If it wasn’t against her will she wouldn’t be sulking through the whole chapter and she wouldn’t have fucking run away at the end. Edward does a lot of shady shit but this is something that she literally should’ve called the cops on.

What’s worse, this is something that literally happens to many women every day in a not fun/not cute/not handsome vampire boyfriend kind of way and the book is attempting to normalize that to young girls. Haha! Don’t worry if your boyfriend kidnaps you! You can always escape on your other boyfriend’s motorcycle.

And what happens next, friends? Because she has to come back at some point, right? I mean, I know what happens. But as a kid reading this this chapter made me very uncomfortable and all I could think was ‘Oh no, Edward’s gonna be really mad at her. She shouldn’t have left’. AND THAT’S NOT OKAY. WHAT IS THIS?!

K: A fucking trainwreck. 

Annie: Romance, Stephenie Meyer style.

Mari: Not over yet. See you tomorrow. 

 

Next time on Eclipse: Edward explains why his sparkle peen is a no-no zone in Chapter 08.