Previously: Ethics and morals and toiletless cells, oh my!
—
Solitude
Samantha: We open this episode in the Phantom Zone, 13 years ago. Child Kara is sleeping in her pod when it starts to shake and jerk around. Child Kara makes some interesting acting choices and it passes through a space arch metal thing. I think it’s supposed to be ominous. Also, Kara was asleep for the entirety of her stay in the pod right? Since it was years?
Catherine: I guess not? She was supposed to be in stasis. I guess it’s like that thing where you wake up but realize you still have a couple more hours to sleep and roll over in your spaceship.
Samantha: In the present, Kara’s alarm goes off and there is a knock on the door. A weird choice of song also starts playing. (M: Weird song and acting choices? We are definitely watching Supergirl…) (C: I’m ashamed that I knew that this song was Twenty-One Pilots. ASHAMED. But I like them. ) (S: It’s not a bad song in general, just weird for this moment.) It is Alex, with donuts. You guys, this looks like such a lovely morning but I don’t think it’s a real thing. My mornings before work are dark and growly and I’m lucky if I remember my work badge, let alone enjoy any sunlight and eat breakfast.
Alex wants Kara to come back to the DEO but Kara isn’t interested. Alex makes the rational case that Hank (she) was just trying to protect the planet but Kara retorts that she doesn’t kill. She thinks she could have rehabilitated Astra yada yada yada. Alex broodily looks out the window, like she might tell the truth but nope.
Cat Co. Siobhan walks over to Winn’s desk to gloat over how she let a creepy mail guy stare at her boobs so she could hand deliver a letter to Cat. Kara tells her that Cat likes everything opened before it reaches her but Siobhan just eye rolls like she’s auditioning for Mean Girls. Winn attempts to be nice but she ain’t got time for short men. Guess she didn’t get the size doesn’t matter memo. Cat enters the scene and snaps at her assistant about a staff meeting. This really is fun.
Marines: I’m not sure how Kara ended up quitting the DEO before this hell hole.
Samantha: Cat opens said staff meeting bitching about her first world problems and shooting down everyone’s ideas. Siobhan goes to hand her the letter but Cat won’t touch it unopened. James fake smiles at Sibby and opens it for her. It turns out to be a thumb drive and note about outing the liars and cheats. Lucy speaks up from the Realm of the Forgettable to let us know that this is probably data from a cheater website (like Ashley Madison) that recently got hacked. Presumably the high profile names are on that drive. Cat wants Sibby to melt it but Lucy speaks up and says that the public has the right to know because these people are probs hypocrites. Cat speechifys about how no one cares about this stuff anymore because there is gay marriage and trandgender Republicans? Are we comparing LGBT to cheating cheaters? I dunno. She doesn’t want to feed the hackers and Sibby walks out wearing “I’m definitely not getting rid of this” face.
Catherine: I didn’t even fully understand what was happening here. I’m still not sure what type of magazine this is that they run divisive world news pieces and have field reporters but also do fashion and stuff? Thats… not really a thing.
Samantha: You aren’t subscribed to that magazine? It’s called Fabrication Weekly.
DEO. Alex and Hank are practicing fighting. Alex is obviously trying to work through her feelings via punches and Hank calls her on it. She says she’s sad that Kara isn’t here and that she decided to let this happen when she let Kara believe Hank killed Astra. Hank says that telling Kara will only- JFC STOP HAVING THIS CONVERSATION. (M: A+) (C: So much this.)
Cat Co. James brings Kara potstickers with a side of guilt. He needs to tell Lucy Supergirl’s SECRET identity but Kara doesn’t want him to. Just then Lucy wanders over to be heavy handed about how much she hates liars. I bet if the plot asked, she’d hate potstickers too. This is all interrupted by that magic TV which is airing what I thought was a video but is actually a Skype call? The hacker is pissed they didn’t print her findings and so now everyone is going to suffer. The call cuts and Cat tells Win to fix it.
Catherine: Okay, I have to interrupt here and point out that I completely forgot this was the episode with Laura Vandervoort! She plays the hacker and she played Supergirl on Smallville, which was a very terrible show that I loved very much as a teenager. I was OBSESSED with her back then so I may have screamed when she came on screen. This was her on Smallville:
She never got a costume though. Because that show had no budget.
Samantha: Okay, this is a fun piece of trivia, thanks Katy!
Out on the streets, every traffic light turns green and people start crashing into each other. Kara dashes out to do the Supergirl thing. James and Winn tell her where to go and she stops a semi from plowing into a family. And then she just stands there with them for a bit because I guess if you’re not a family you’re SOL.
The next day, Kara tells us that this is a city wide super terrible hack. Some random guy gets up to earn his acting credits and dramatically worry about his retirement fund in a bank that got hacked. Winn announces that if this doesn’t wrap up in the next 33 minutes (approximately) it could be a worldwide economic collapse.
Cat calls a meeting in her office. She tells Jimmy to head up an investigative team because they are going to figure out who this is and put a stop to it. She tells Siobhan to call her investment banker but Sibby is dazed and confused so Kara jumps on it.
Jimmy’s office. Lucy is game planning what they should do, but James brush’s her off. Her feelings are hurt that he would rather work this with Supergirl instead of her. (M: We can stop having this conversation too. Any time.) He apologizes and they plan for dinner later, just as Kara pops in to say that he’s needed.
Kara’s apartment. Winn is sitting in front of a bunch of laptops and junk food, mumbling to himself. Basically probably most of us during a Game of Thrones episode. Kara and James demand to know what he’s doing. He computer mumbo jumbos about trying to track where the hacker is before she conveniently shows up on his laptop screen! She says that they should talk and then, like, jumps through the screen and into the living room. Except instead of a blonde woman she looks like that one X-Men character. Uh. Let me go google her name. Take this opportunity to organize your snacks.
Mari:
Samantha: Okay, it’s Mystique! Discount Mystique somehow knows that Kara is Supergirl. She sneers at her and Kara recognizes the triangle symbol on her forehead. She responds, “It’s the sign of my people. The font of omniscient knowedge.” Apparently she knows everything about Kara and Winn wonders if she’s just the living Internet. She’d have to be half dick pic for that to be true, Winn. (M: At least a quarter cute cat video.) Discount Mystique whips out some Wolverine claws and punches Kara through a window. She grabs Winn by the throat and James hits her with a chair. Kara flies back in just as Hank and Alex bust through the door. Discount Mystique hops back into cyber land.
Out in the hallway, Kara huffs and puffs as Alex tells her that they tracked the traffic light signal because it was alien and it led them here. Hank says that the rest is only for active DEO agents to know. Kara DGAF and tells them to leave.
Date Night. In a random backyard or something a man is awkwardly proposing to his girlfriend. Discount Mystique zooms out of an open laptop and scurries the couple away. Non shows up and Discount Mystique knows him. She whines about being stuck on Earth and calls herself Indigo Formely Known as Brainiac-8. She talks shit about Astra and they reference something called Myriad. She flirts, he chokes her, she announces that hell is coming to Earth, I am bored.
Catherine: Alright, let’s do this thing instead. So, Indigo is an actual DCU character and is another personality of Brainiac 8. Although it seems like these writers are trying to make it more like she just changed her name and is still evil. Indigo in the comics was actually a good guy who took control over Brainiac 8 because computers. This is what she looked like:
Thankfully they got rid of the boob window.
Samantha: Ah, that useful boob window.
Cat Co. Siobhan is beating up a copier. Winn hurries over to save the day. He fixes it for her and whines about wanting a thank you. (C: Ugh. Winn.) Sibby wonders why she should pretend to be nice and then segues into a babble that is clearly all about how her dad is cheating on her mom. She tells the story of how, when she was a teen, she walked in on her dad and his PA. He promised to never do it again but was actually a Platinum Member of the cheating website. She orders Winn around and then threatens him and heads off.
Catherine: Weird thing to tell an almost stranger but… okay.
Samantha: Alex shows up at Cat Co and Kara throws a fit but Alex is like, “I’m not here for you.” She needs Winn because he’s apparently better at tech stuff than anyone at the DEO. Then why is this dude just in IT? (M: If you ask Winn, he’d probably say it has something to do with the friend zone.) Kara passive aggressively says that it’s fine and they head off. Jimmy comes over and Kara wonders how she’s going to figure out this alien without Hank’s help. Jimmy gets an idea.
James and Supergirl fly to like, Beyond the Wall or something, and land in the snow. James references Kara’s cousin so we get to take that shot.
Catherine: Excuse you, Jimmy Olsen.
Samantha: He starts digging around in the snow while Kara giddily asks how they get in. She’s a little bummed that it’s just a Super sigil key lying on the ground, under a couple dustings of snow. James tells her that it’s compressed of a dwarf star and only a select few can pick it up. Kara does and unlocks the stone door and it is Fortress of Solitude time! (I think. They don’t ever actually call it that.) (C: More like Fortress of Avoiding Copyright.)
They enter and idk, I’m underwhelmed. It looks like a lamer version of Elsa’s ice castle. (M: Damn. Y’all just got outdone by a cartoon.) James thinks that Clark never invited Kara here but Kara claims that he was all up in her business with invites, she just didn’t want to come. I have head cannoned that this is a lie to save face because it fits better with this show’s absent Superman. Kara presses a button and a little robot dude zooms in. He’s already my favorite character.
He calls her by name and she explains that they had these robotic helpers on Krypton. No word on how Clark got one here. She asks about Discount Mystique and cute little robot tells her that it sounds like the race of Coluans, who served as super computers on Krypton. Helpfully, only one was ever imprisoned on Fort Rozz for trying to sabotage Kryptons’s defenses. She wanted to terminate the entire population of Krypton. Cute little robot also says that she was deemed the most dangerous prisoner in Fort Rozz but that can’t be true because we’re wasting her on a random middle of season episode. (M: You are good at TV.) They turn and walk away from the cute little robot, don’t even say thank you or goodbye. This is why the robots end up hating and overthrowing us, guys.
James says that she needs to tell Hank because she doesn’t have to fight this alone. Kara dramatically says that she isn’t alone, she’s got James and he gives a weird smile.
Catherine: I have to say things about this version of the Fortress. (I literally have to. I can’t stop myself.)
1.It’s maybe the cheapest-looking version I have ever seen. And again, Smallville had the budget of a college-movie project but even they managed to use CGI. This was very clearly cardboard and white spray paint and it took away from the scene a tad bit for me.
2. That said, this version was written as maybe the most comic-loyal I have ever seen. Most of the time when Superman visits the FOS in a movie or TV show, he goes there to talk with his grumpy ice dad hologram and maybe fuck Lois Lane and then leave. In the comics? The FOS is a straight up museum/amusement park. (There’s a ZOO OF SPACE ANIMALS. IS THAT MORAL? NO! IS IT COOL? YES!) Supergirl’s version of the FOS in this episode had those elements, it felt like. When Jimmy and Kara enter the fortress they pass a Legion Ring (and I freaked the fuck out) on display as well as other artifacts that I didn’t get a good look at. There’s a little Kryptonian robot helper that Superman picked up at a fucking yard sale or some shit. They even included the stupid giant key! It was perfect. I was in heaven. It truly felt, for the first ever time in a TV show, like somewhere dedicated to Kryptonian history and also a hang out zone for Superman and not just a cold ice palace. This is very important to me, guys. I vote that this may be the best FOS I’ve ever seen despite the low budget. For an added bonus, here is the FOS layout from the Silver Age:
Yeah, he kept a lot of weird robot-body doubles in his secret fortress. Do you not?
Samantha: Okay, this helps with my underwhelmed feeling. It still looks so terrible but at least it’s on point.
Cat Co. James is filling Lucy in on what he found out with Supergirl, and Lucy angrily lets him know that he completely stood her up. Listen, she has every right to be furious and hurt but how is this the first time she’s talking to him about it? That is some admirable self control. If my long term bf blew me off without any indication where/how he was, his phone would be so blown up with texts there’s no way he wouldn’t realize it until the next morning. Maybe Lucy just has more dignity than me.
Anyway, he half ass apologizes and Lucy coldly says that she’ll let her father know about the high profile dangers. James says some bullshit about how he would never do anything to hurt her and she shuts that down with, “Then how do you keep managing to do it?” Bravo, Luce.
Kara heads over to Lucy to give her Cat’s rejected latte and I am so distracted by how they are wearing almost the same color but like one shade off. Why would you do that, costuming department? It’s weird and off putting. Kara asks if she’s okay and Lucy fills her in on James standing her up for Supergirl. Kara gives this long speech about how James isn’t a bad guy and how much he wants to help people and it honestly makes me hate Kara a little bit. If my boyfriend stood me up and then someone came over to ramble at me about how wonderful he actually is, I’d be even more furious. In her ramble, Kara mentions how James once told her about how his dad gave him his first camera. Lucy is understandably hurt because James has never told her that story. Kara tries to cover and then literally says, “James is an amazing guy. He could be with whoever he wants and he chose you.” What the fuck? I am so angry. James is for real treating his girlfriend in a lousy manner. To have someone then tell the girlfriend that he’s such a catch and she should just get over it because she’s lucky enough that he chose her??!?!?!? NOPE. NOT OKAY. NOT AN OKAY THING. I know he’s not abusing her or anything, but he is treating her like a douche. Lucy sarcastically thanks Kara and leaves.
Catherine: Seriously, they were clearly trying to show that Kara still likes Jimmy but we already know that? From all of their interactions? She doesn’t need to bring it up to his girlfriend.
Mari: If this makes Kara feel guilty enough to let Jimmy reveal her secret, and if those two are dumb enough to think that will make things better, then… I don’t know. I’d say something like, “I’ll be over it,” but I ALREADY AM.
Samantha: Kara and James are looking over their notes and Kara is bitching about missing Winn and Alex. James says that at least she has him and gives her this sleazy grin and she giggles and no I will never ship them I kind of hate them. To underscore my hatred, Lucy comes in with a new thought. Maybe Discount Mystique went after the cheater website for more than just to embarrass people. Maybe she wanted this one specific military guy. James wonders why.
DEO. Winn is typing furiously at some computers while extraordinarily dramatic music plays. Hank and Alex hover very tensely nearby. Winn scoffs at their rushing him and he mentions Doctor Who. Tumblr gives us this:
Catherine: Ah! I can’t believe we forgot about that time Doctor Who hung out with Martian Manhunter.
Samantha: So that’s kind of fun! I didn’t make the connection! Lets all stare at Ten for awhile.
Mari: We usually save the I’d Rather Be Watching Something Else game for Charmed, but yeah, I’d rather be watching Doctor Who.
Samantha: Anyway, so, Alex wishes that Kara was with them, which quick cuts us back to Kara’s team.
Lucy expositions that Discount Mystique was trying to declassify this general so that she could get his nuclear launch codes and nuke the city.
Alex is figuring out that there is a remote nuclear launch site nearby, but Hank wonders how Discount is going to get in, since it’s off the grid.
Lucy knows! God this is tedious. She’s going to somehow use the general as a Trojan horse to get in. Kara wonders where the general is now (Mount Vernon?) and we quick cut to the missile silo.
A bunch of military guys are in the missile launch vault place. The General’s phone rings and they are all puzzled that he has reception in here, when it shouldn’t be possible. Uh, how is she creating reception where there is none? (M: Internet… magic… wifi… calling…?) (C: She an Internet witch, Samantha, obviously.) (S: Dibs on being an Internet witch, in general.) He answers his phone and Discount Mystique thanks him and zaps through the phone. All the military guys draw their guns, but none of them even try to see if bullets will work (I’m sure they won’t but still) (M: Only Alex’s gun works and only in the last 10 minutes of the episode) while she beats them all up. One of the soldiers says that she needs to keep them alive because she needs to turn both keys at once to set off the bomb. These are some lousy soldiers? She says that she knows and kicks him. She grabs both keys and then stretches her arms like she’s Elastigirl. I already gave you a discount nickname, lady! She turns both keys and the missiles prepare to launch.
Hank and the rest of the DEO gang panic about how they will never make it there in time, while Supergirl flies towards the silo.
She kicks in the door and I think that maybe these actresses make each other worse actors? Is that a thing? They start to fight and somehow Discount gets the INCREDIBLY STRONG Supergirl in, like, a hug hold that Supergirl struggles to get out of?
After the commercial break, the bomb launches and Supergirl finally gets out of that hug hold and zooms out after it.
DEO. Everyone is vaguely panicking and Alex hangs up a phone, saying the President has put them at DEFCON 2. Okay, so, I just googled the DEFCON levels and 2 means “Next Step to Nuclear War” while 1 is “Nuclear War is Imminent”. How is this not 1?!?! Hank says that the missile is 3 minutes out? The bomb is launched and about to hit a city. Will they only switch to level 1 once it impacts? That’s not useful to anyone. Can you tell I would rather pontificate about nuclear war than press play?
Catherine: I was wondering this same thing. A nuclear missile is literally on the way. That should be mega DEFCON for sure.
Samantha: Supergirl is still flying towards the bomb and talking to James. He says that they need to evacuate but there is literally no time James. Useless. Supergirl announces that she’s going to stop it and the music gets really obnoxious again. (M: I calling it: this is DEFCON 1.)
DEO. A random DEO officer announces a bogey flying near the bomb, and it’s Supergirl. How has Alex not called Supergirl herself yet? She didn’t know until this moment that Kara was already on the hunt. Even if Supergirl doesn’t want to officially work with them, it seems irresponsible to not call and ask for help when a freaking nuclear bomb is about to blow?
Supergirl tries to make the bomb change course but that epically fails. She announces that she’s going to try her heat vision but as James points out, that could make it explode? Duh, Kara? She calls into the DEO and her and Hank decide to stop this thing together. Kara climbs onto the bomb, to shut off its computer.
Alex tells Winn to shut down the silo so that Discount can’t launch another bomb. Winn thinks that he can actually shut down Discount herself with a nasty computer virus.
Supergirl opens the computer door and tries to input the kill code. Halfway through she gets blown off of it by, like, a strong gust of wind. Are we having fun? She gets back on while Hank unhelpfully yells that she’s out of time. Apparently not though, because she gets the code in. Phew. It lands in the water but doesn’t explode.
Silo. Discount is hella mad but Supergirl zooms in and throws her to the ground with an unbelievably cheesy line, get me out of here.
Winn is trying to finish uploading his virus or whatever. Alex talks to Kara and Discount hears her. She uses the dropped cell phone to zap to the DEO and start choking Winn. Supergirl stares at her and pants. Winn frantically types and gets his malware uploaded, causing Discount to drop to the floor. She hisses at Supergirl that she wouldn’t even be here without her. While they were all in the Phantom Zone she was searching for a way out with her mind. She found Kara’s pod, turned it on, and linked it to Fort Rozz so that they all fell together. She dies in an explosion of red sequins.
Catherine: I’m jealous.
Samantha: Cat Co. Winn rushes over to Siobhan and says that they should talk. He babbles about his messed up family and that he knows how it feels when dads let you down. He says that most people want to be there for each other though and she leans forward and kisses him. After the kiss, she threatens to kill him if he tells anyone. They kiss into the elevator.
Catherine: UUUGHHHHH. I hate this! Are we really gonna do the whole hate sex thing with these two? Are we really gonna pretend that Winn is sexually desirable in any way? Why? Because he stood there like a dumb elf while she emotionally vomited all over him? We’re really gonna do the cliched daddy issues bad girl thing? Can I just leave?
Samantha: No, I’m sorry, there aren’t any exits.
In Cat’s office her and James watch the news, where the nuclear bomb is written off as something benign. Cat figures that it wasn’t benign and James tells her that they came too close today. Kara walks in and Cat tells her to cancel her dinner plans because she’s going home to hug her son and cook him chicken. (C: Lol, remember when we hated Cat? She’s the best part of this show now.) (S: Cosign.) After Cat leaves, Kara and Jimmy small talk a little bit.
Mari: Yeah, this came out of nowhere. Like a strong gust of wind that knocks you off a missile.
Samantha: James finds Lucy out on the balcony and tells her that he has something important to tell her. She cuts him off and tells him that they are over. Good for you, girl. James asks if it’s about Supergirl and she says it isn’t. It’s about Kara. She tells him about when Kara came to see her and how she knew the story about his camera. James tries to act like it isn’t a big deal but Lucy says that he loves her. James doesn’t deny it. She leaves with her head held high and a lot less yelling than I would have.
Catherine: I’m glad she broke up with him and hope that she’s potentially gonna leave Cat Co now, tbh. Not because I don’t like her, I do. But because she really felt like an extra toe in EVERY Cat Co scene. She literally said in this episode that she called her contacts in the Pentagon over the hacker. She’s supposed to be Cat’s lawyer or something? What? Why is she working there? She could be working literally anywhere. WHAT IS THIS MAGAZINE? WHY IS IT SO HARDCORE?
Samantha: DEO. Hank and Alex are practice fighting when Supergirl shows up. She admits that they need each other and, personal feelings aside, she’s back. Her and Hank start to game plan but Alex finally starts to confess. She saw Astra standing over J’onn and saying that she was going to give him an honorable death. Alex starts crying as she admits that she just reacted, she killed Astra. She goes on about letting Hank take the blame and being afraid of losing her. Supergirl hugs Alex and Hank goes to leave them alone but Supergirl grabs his hand. Honestly it was the only scene the whole episode that didn’t make me hate things, thanks in large part to Chyler Leigh’s emotional acting.
Catherine: Yeah, can you guys hug and shit so that maybe we won’t die from a missile explosion ’cause you refuse to call each other? Thanks.
Samantha: After this scene, I thought the episode was over. I closed the tab. I took a break. Then, while gif hunting, I noticed a set for a scene that I hadn’t watched. I skipped a whole scene. Non holds a vibrating ball and runs it over a circular table where pieces and parts of Discount appear. She doesn’t seem to be awake but he talks to her anyway. He reminds her that he broke her heart and wonders if she’s ready to do things his way. Real end of episode. I checked.
This is my least favorite episode. I disliked pretty much everything about it. It took me forever to recap ’cause I had to take a lot of breaks. I really only liked the cute little robot, and they were rude to him. We can only go up from here!
Mari: That’s cute. I love you. You are definitely our resident Bubbles for a reason.
Catherine: Truth.
Next time on Supergirl: Kara is exposed to red Kryptonite in S01 E16 – Falling.
I'm a 28 year old graduated English major and almost librarian. I can often be found singing too loudly (poorly) in the car or spending some time (hours) on Tumblr. I am a lover of Harry Potter, the Spice Girls, and too many other things.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
I am a 30-something year-old human woman who lives in Maine. I'm a freelance writer who mostly spends time that I should be doing that, watching T.V. I also love reading and comic books way too much.
