Designated Survivor S01 E01 – Who voted for this again?

You guys voted for us to watch Designated Survivor and seeing as how we were the only ones Tweeting about it, I can only conclude that you like to see us suffer.
—

Pilot

Marines: I should’ve known this episode was called “Pilot.” I feel like I tell you every time it comes up but it annoys me when pilots are titled Pilot.

But I’m starting off on a wrong foot. Hi, hello! Welcome to a new show because we are the little engine that could keep starting new shows when we have a billionty pending to finish. Hey, look y’all. We work with the recappers we got. And for this recap, we got Samantha (late of Supernatural but currently on Supergirl and Pretty Little Liars) and Dani (responsible for bringing us all the joy that is BrainDead).

Say hi, ladies!

Samantha: Hello! I thought this was the cupcake place but sure, yeah, I can stick around for this show. 

Dani: Howdy. Where do y’all keep the booze?

Mari: Everywhere!

Okay, with that, let’s actually get to recapping.

A shot of DC at night is overlaid with text that explains that during the State of the Union, one cabinet member is taken to an undisclosed location. In case of extreme death of everyone, that person becomes the President. In case you don’t know what you are watching or are dumb, the next title explains that that person is called the Designated Survivor.

Samantha: By the time we got here I was pulling my hair out with the amount of times I have heard this. ABC owes me a salon appointment!

Mari: Keifer Sutherland walks into an empty conference room. He’s wearing a semi-ratty Cornell hoodie. The State of the Union address is playing on several TVs. He sits, drinks, watches, cleans his glasses and recites a portion of the speech. He doesn’t look amused. I’d comfort him by letting him know that at least as a Designated Survivor, you can drink.

Samantha: On The West Wing, the DS gets to chill in the Oval Office. Kind of a downgrade over here. Also, we will probably be referencing The West Wing a lot. (D: Like, A LOT a lot.)

Mari: Also in the room is a woman with insanely perfect cheeks. Oh my god, how are they so defined right now? (S: Maybe it’s Maybelline?) She’s presumably Keifer’s wife, and she’s arguing with presumably their daughter on the phone about how she has to go to bed right now. Keifer (not heifer, autocorrect…) asks to talk to their daughter, Penny. We cut to an adorable little girl, who Keifer convinces to get to sleep by promising that they can hang out for an extra hour the next night. Penny buys it and hangs up. Perfect Cheeks doesn’t approve and tells Keifer (Tom! We got a name!) (S: No he’s Jack Bauer, I can’t do this Tom business yet.) (D: Damn, I was going to call him Cornell Hoodie all recap.) that he needs to learn to set some limits so Penny won’t walk all over him. Tom agrees and we switch our focus back to the State of the Union.

Tom is pretty unamused by the speech but after a second, the feed cuts out. Tom switches the channel and all the other ones are coming through, but nothing from the Capitol. His phone rings and he picks it up. Perfect Cheeks sees something on her phone and starts freaking out right as the Secret Service bust in the room and start yelling for them to put their phones down and hand over all their devices.

Suddenly, the TV coverage comes back on, this time in a newsroom with an anchor saying that they are getting reports of an explosion in D.C. Tom slow motion walks to the window and pulls it open. We see the mushroom cloud of a large explosion. Everyone’s shock leads us to the title card. (S: I saw this a million times too but it is kind of chilling.)

There is no music and just a little graphic. I don’t know what to yell at you. Maybe

JACKET FLIP.

I don’t know.

Samantha: I don’t even remember the title sequence so. Good pick, Mari!

Dani: I guess DROP EVERYTHING AND WALK TO THE SENATE is out now. Thanks for killing my favorite hashtag, show.

Mari: We always have BrainDead.

A title card tells us we are going back to 15 hours earlier. Basically all we Tweeted about last week was about HOW STUPID this flashback is. It did terrible things to the pacing, it was completely unnecessary and I hated it.

Samantha: Yep. Cosign. Did them no favors.

Dani: It was truly the least elegant way of conveying the backstory. I mean, we already picked up much of what’s “revealed” in the flashback from the opening sequence. I hope this isn’t going to be one of those shows that assumes the audience is hella stupid and beats us over the head with plot. If so, we’re gonna need moar alcohol.

Mari: But okay, here we are, 15 hours earlier. Perfect Cheeks is in bed working and Keifer is grumbling about needing at least 7 hours of sleep. Perfect Cheeks says not so for a working mother. Now that he’s awake, Keifer figures he might as well put the moves on his wife and he looks so saggy in the face in this scene that I am 100% happy when Penny interrupts them, wanting breakfast.

Dani: I love Keifer Sutherland, but this woman is a goddess in human form, and seeing them together is a bit… incongruous.

Mari: In the kitchen, Keifer is burning breakfast. Penny is at the counter and a shaggy-haired teen enters. Keifer (and I swear I JUST realized I went back to calling him that whoops) asks Leo what he wants for breakfast and since dad is cooking, he asks for just toast. Tom reminds Leo that he has to babysit Penny that night, but Leo quickly says that he can’t. He’s busy writing a program for a friend to lay a new dubstep track. As far as lies go, that’s specific enough to let it go over most parents’ heads. Good job, Leo. This cliche look-at-us-we’re-a-family breakfast scene ends with Perfect Cheeks running off to court and Leo brooding away and Tom promising to take them to school. (S: Kind of weird/nice to see Keifer in the vaguely pleasant dad role. Instead of growly mean Jack Bauer.)

Tom is walking to work, and he’s met by a very energetic woman wearing a purple coat. She’s gotten word that none of their speaking points will be included in the State of the Union tonight, despite the fact that Tom is the Secretary of Housing and Urban Development. I just looked at that Wiki list of actual people who have held the post and I recognized Mel Martinez (because he’s a Florida politician) and someone named Romney (Mitt Romney’s dad. #TMYK). Tom calms Angry Jacket down because even though he’s angry, at the end of the day, he isn’t the president. (S: Ooof.)

Dani: The only way that gif could be better is if the anvil were labeled PLOT.

Mari: Angry Jacket and Tom meet with the Chief of Staff and some other guy. I don’t know who these people are. We briefly see Kal Penn speaking with the Maybe Chief of Staff about that night’s speech.

Behind closed doors, Angry Jacket is angry. The Chief of Staff tells the other guy to give them a moment and Tom sends Angry Jacket away as well. Now alone, Tom asks Charlie what’s going on and the answer is basically, “you’re fired.” From his present position, at least. They are giving him some other bogus position that Tom is none too pleased about, but it doesn’t matter anyway because we all know that none of this really matters. We’ve seen the explosion.

That night, Perfect Cheeks is angry about all this and wants Tom to fight back. Tom is like, “against the president???” He doesn’t think so. Plus, he doesn’t want to play these political games. He told Perfect Cheeks (Alex!!) that he wouldn’t be that man. Well, now, Alex wants him to be the kind of man that doesn’t take their family away from being settled down in Washington. Tom hugs Alex and is like, “I get it. I’ll commute.” That is NOT what Alex wanted to hear.

Tom gets a call and after a pause he asks the person on the line, “what’s a designated survivor?” Wow, Tom. Maybe if you knew shit like that, you wouldn’t have gotten fired. (S: Yeah, that was some bullshit. The meaning is hella implicit, Tom, even if you’ve somehow gone all these years not knowing it was a thing.) (D: FFS, Tom. Watch a friggin’ episode of The West Wing every once in a while.)

Cut to where we left off in the present, with the Secret Service telling Tom that they need to leave NOW. We watch the whole detail speed through the streets of D.C. In a car with the guy who seems to be the Secret Service guy in charge, Mike, Tom asks what the heck is going on. Mike gets a call confirming that the President, Congress, none of them survived. Mike turns around and, lit up in the red and blue lights of the sirens, very gravely announces that they are enacting continuity of government and Tom is now the President of the United States.

There is a super prolonged moment on Tom’s face with some DUN DUN DUN music. Naturally.

After an actual commercial break (watching live TV is THE WORST) (S: It’s why Netflix wins.), Maggie Q is in a bar! Hey Maggie Q, hey! She’s distraught over the news coverage and immediately makes a call to see if someone is okay. That someone, Scott, doesn’t answer. She gets a call from her boss, Doug, telling her to come on over ASAP. Outside, Maggie Q gets a good look at the smoke and burning. She runs to her car, pulls her FBI jacket out of her car, and takes off.

Tom and Alex are ushered into the White House and things go all slow motion and extra loud in his ears because, you know. Death! Destruction! Drama! The other guy who I didn’t know how to identify earlier who was with the guy I thought was the Chief of Staff (damn, I’m so good at recapping), ushers Tom over to a woman ready to swear him in. I’m going to assume she’s a judge. Emergency Judge hands a Bible over to Alex to hold and recites the presidential oath for Tom to recite, which he does with much looking around and trepidation. After that’s done, Maybe Chief of Staff Guy says Tom has to follow him and Alex will be escorted by Secret Service to the residential area.

Samantha: Shouldn’t this have been broadcast? Even just…a shitty YouTube livestream?

Dani: I’m still upset that pretty much all the important buildings in the Capitol get blown up and they head off to the WHITE HOUSE. How is this safe?! The Secret Service did NOT hang around Dallas after JFK was shot. LBJ was sworn in on Air Force One. This just seemed very unrealistic and dangerous and stupid to me.

Mari: I thought so, too. By the time, everyone is hanging out on balconies later, I lost it.

President Tom is escorted to a super secret, underground emergency operation bunker. (D: Oh, sure, NOW they produce a bunker.) Lots of many important people are there, yelling over each other. Maybe Chief of Staff Guy (okay “Aaron,” I looked it up) gets everyone’s attention. Tom starts by saying that they should take a moment of silence for all the fallen. They do that, though some people look rather put out by it. Like, damn, guys. Take 10 seconds.

Afterwards, Tom suggest going around the table. Aaron asks where the head of the CIA is, but they haven’t been able to get a secure connection to him. A General-looking dude says to hell with secure connections and also while they are at it, probably they should let all their embassies know that the U.S. is prepared to blow anyone responsible up. General Cochrane wants to go to DEFCON 2 and people start questioning his authority, but he yells over all of them. Tom gets overwhelmed and his hearing goes funny again.

Dani: I just love how everyone ignored his “let’s go around the table and introduce ourselves” thing. WORST part of every meeting, amiright?

Mari: We cut to Tom letting himself into a toilet stall and throwing up.

Samantha: This might sound weird but I was so relieved they added the vomiting. Truth is, Tom is not Jack Bauer. This is an insane situation and I was prepared to be annoyed and disbelieving if he didn’t at least have some sort of full panic moment. I’m glad it didn’t last all episode, and glad that it happened.

Mari: Kal Penn (Seth) is in the adjoining stall and tries to give a comforting, “let it all out man.” Tom apologizes for his puke, but Seth says he gets it. A few hours ago he was celebrating the 3 lines he got into the State of the Union speech and now, he doesn’t know how they are going to get through this. Tom says the same way they always do, but Seth doesn’t think so because they’ve got some nobody running the show now. Seth goes on to bad-mouth Tom, saying that the president fired him this morning, and now he’s the President. Seth thinks Tom should step aside and let someone who knows what they are doing take the lead.

Tom is out of the stall now, giving himself a long appraising look in the mirror. Seth comes out of his stall and– SURPRISE! He was badmouthing the President to his face. Awkward. Tom recognizes Seth as a speech writer and says that while Seth might be right about Tom stepping aside, for right now, he’s all everyone has got and Seth has 52 minutes to write a speech convincing the American people that’s a good thing.

Penny arrives at The White House and Alex gives her a big hug.

Maggie Q makes it to the site of the explosion and listens to some FBI Guy in Charge barking orders about setting up perimeters and stuff. Maggie (Agent Wells) butts in with more instructions, but FBI Guy in Charge tells her she doesn’t even go here. She’s supposed to be at HQ, because she’s not a field agent. Wells says that she was at the bomb sites in Paris and Brussels, so she needs to be here. (D: That’s a lot of fieldwork for not-a-field-agent.) She knows what to look for. FBI Guy in Charge (Jason) relents and assigns Wells two FBI underlings, Nolan and Lawrence to her. She tells one of them to start scanning license plates around the bomb site and the other one… IDK. She swallows her words and I don’t think it’s important enough to play more than 2 times. It’s very official and FBI-y, though. (S: Phew.)

Outside, very little of the Capitol remains standing and rescue workers are picking through the rubble for remains. Given the state of the world currently, no thank you on this visual, please. (S: OOOOOOF.) (D: I have to call bullshit on this, sorry. The level of destruction they’re showing just doesn’t seem possible unless you’re talking hundreds of bombs strategically placed (like for building demolition), and I have to believe security in our post-9/11 world would catch this.)

After a break, Seth is working on the speech as two other aides watch news coverage profiling Tom. The girl says that this is dumb because Tom’s never been elected to anything. (S: I don’t think there’s anyone left alive who was actually elected, extra.) The guy defends Tom and says he was next in the line of succession. The girl says that no one could’ve foreseen this outcome. Seth jumps in to say that the Designated Survivor existed in the first place because someone foresaw this. He tells the two extras to shut up and let him work.

Dani: I wanted him to say “shut up, losers, I’m the only actor here who has actually worked in the actual White House.” Next episode, maybe?

Mari: God, I hope so.

Tom stands on a balcony, having more emotions. Alex comes out to check on him. Tom tells her about his second-thoughts on this whole being the sudden President thing and Alex is like, “YEAH. Maybe we should get out of here?” She’s scared that they are now a target, and by extension, so are their children. (S: YES. Stop standing exposed on a balcony while we are under attack wtf.) (D: I guess his Secret Service detail stopped off for a few drinks?) 

They are interrupted by Secret Service Mike saying that Leo wasn’t actually at the friend’s house he claimed to be going to. No hot dubstep tracks were laid. (D: LOL) Tom tries to comfort Alex, saying the Secret Service will definitely find Leo.

Aaron interrupts and leads Tom into a room where a Major introduces him to all of the awesome technology that means he can launch a nuclear attack from anywhere in the world, in a handy, portable briefcase. Tom asks if they need his fingerprints or an eye scan, and behind him, General Cochran eyerolls hardcore. That only happens in movies. 

Some old guy in the room tells Tom that the U.N. is in emergency session and they’ve got a 3-page list of all the U.S.’s enemies, denying responsibility. Cochran jumps in that all U.S. bases are on high alert and the U.S.S. Eisenhower is currently charging for the Persian Gulf. Tom is like, “skkkkkrrrrt. Say what now?” Why would they be hard charging without knowing who is responsible? Cochran basically says, “YAY WAR!” Tom doesn’t feel comfortable with this, and Cochran sasses him and asks when exactly he plans on being comfortable. Tom serves it back and says the General will be first to know.

Dani: I loved Tom’s response, but I am seriously not loving how clichéd they’ve made the warmongering general.

Mari: Agreed. We’re off to a bad start when all of his appearances/lines basically revolve around encouraging war.

Club. Leo is making out with a girl, but mostly as a cover to slip her drugs and collect her money. Leo meets up with a friend, who is done selling his baggies of drugs. Leo still has 3 left, so he wants to stick around for a little longer. On cue, Secret Service Mike and some cops bust into the club. Leo takes off running, but Mike catches him easily.

We cut to Leo in a black SUV, a whole detail bringing him to the White House. Leo asks how Mike found him. Mike gives an explanation about setting up an NSA ops center and tracing his digital footprint. Leo totally buys it, but they actually just pinged his phone. Which they probably should’ve easily done without getting Tom and Alex all worried before. Leo looks out the window and turns back to Mike. He thought Mike was taking him home. Mike very seriously says, “I am.” (S: Dramatic much, Mike?)

We get cuts of people setting up memorials and news anchors covering the act of terror. Outside a police line, Angry Jacket Emily is pleading with an officer to let her into the White House because she swears she’s Tom’s Chief of Staff. Emily isn’t on the list, though, so despite all her pleas, she isn’t let in.

Samantha:

Dani: It’s the purple jacket. Everyone knows we wear pink on Wednesdays national disaster days.

Mari: Actually inside the White House, Tom finishes up a call with “Madame Prime Minister” and gets back to working on his speech with Seth and Alex. Seth reads out a line and Tom thinks it sounds fine. Seth is like, “yeah because you used that line in a speech already 2 years ago.” Seth says he can’t be friendly and disarming right now. This is a national stage, and he needs The Presidential Voice. An official guy comes in and whispers something in Tom’s ear, so The Presidential Voice is going to have to wait.

Seth looks way stressed and Alex tells him it’s okay. They are all feeling it. Seth thanks her, calling her ma’am and Alex tells him to call her Alex. Seth’s like, “no, girl. You are the first lady.” This seems to finally dawn on Alex.

War! War! War! Room. Satellite images show 10 Iranian war ships taking up position in the Strait of Hormuz. Aaron starts to explain to Tom what the Strait of Hormuz us, but Tom knows, thanks so much. Just because nobody has gotten him out of his semi-ratty hoody yet doesn’t mean he doesn’t know things, Aaron. (D: Yeah, just because you had to explain what a Designated Survivor is, doesn’t mean he’s never heard of Aleppo, or that he can’t name a single foreign leader. He’s the HUD Secretary, not Gary Johnson…)

General Cochran very aggressively tells us that this is clearly provocation on the part of the Iranians. Tom looks very conflicted.

Emily finally gets into the White House, God knows how. This is adding to my concerns about security. The first person she comes across is Aaron who definitely will not take her into a code-word clearance only meeting, just because Emily really thinks she should be there for the President. Emily tells him that they should put their differences aside and Aaron just turns around and leaves her there. I’m not sure I like Emily so far. (S: I forgot about her completely so.)

War! War! War! Room. General Cochran is still pushing for exploding things and on his way to explaining that they needs to show force to a watching world, calls Tom a figurehead. Tom chuckles and says that this figurehead has been paying attention in cabinet meetings and he knows that the Iranians have been trying to close off the Strait of Hormuz for 35 years. Tom’s having a hard time believing that they just up and decided to try this very night. General Cochran asks what makes him so sure. Tom considers all this for a tense moment and then asks Aaron when the Iranian Ambassador is due to arrive. 15 minutes. Tom gives Cochran the go-ahead to scramble his bombers, but not to engage. Tom has a plan, and if it doesn’t work they’ll go with Cochran’s plan.

Leo sits with Penny in her new room. She doesn’t get why they are even in the White House right now. Leo gently explains that this is their new home because some bad people did some bad things, and it’s their dad’s job now to make them all safe. Penny asks if Leo is scared and he admits that he is. Penny wonders if their dad is scared and Leo comforts her by saying that their dad isn’t afraid of anything. Tom laughs a little to himself as he overhears this all from the door.

Bomb site. Maggie Q is calling Scott again, but it still goes to his voicemail. She’s obviously very worried. One of her FBI Underlings runs up to her with an update, but it and Maggie’s feels are interrupted because rescue workers have found another bomb. FBI Guy in Charge starts yelling for everyone to BACK UP. I think BACK UP is putting it lightly.

Samantha:

Mari: After a break, everyone has backed sufficiently up and 3 bomb squad guys carefully approach the bomb. They open it up, and after some very light poking around determine that the bomb is a dud.

Oval Office. Someone finally put a suit on the President. (D: THANK GOD.) The Iranian Ambassador is shown in, and Tom greets him rather stiffly and watches him with a stone face as the Ambassador conveys Iran’s deep regrets and assurances for cooperation. Tom says he’s happy to hear that, because they can start by removing their bombers from the Strait of Hormuz. The Ambassador tells him he must be mistaken because they haven’t moved their bombers. Tom says the U.S. has war gamed this all out and are just waiting for the green light to attack. Tom doesn’t want for his first act as Commander in Chief to be an attack on Iran, but he’ll do it unless they dock their bombers within three hours. There is a moment when Tom takes off his glasses and cleans them as he talks about how he’s one of the straightest shooters you can find in Washington, and it is both exceptionally geeky and surprisingly menacing. Aaron is in the room, watching this all go down with interest, and I think he’s a little impressed. (D: Me, too! It was a bit serial-killery, but in a good way.)

Tom ends by saying that if Iran doesn’t dock their bombers, the morning news won’t be talking about the attack on the U.S. Capitol, but on the devastating attack of the Iranian capital. The Ambassador says he’ll speak to his government. They stand and shake hands. Before the Ambassador has fully exited, Tom calls out to him and sternly reminds him: three hours. The Ambassador nods his head in understanding. After Tom is left alone, he sighs and sits on the edge of his desk. A crane shot takes us above his head so we see him in comparison to the size/state of the Oval Office.

This was by far the best scene of the pilot, to me. It was one of the more interesting things we got to see and that is how Tom does in the hot seat. Kiefer can certainly sell the gravity of “I’m going to blow you up with no regrets,” and he played it well.

Bomb site. The dud bomb has been identified as a Soviet-era anti-tank mine, frequently used by Jihadist groups. Wells says that that’s one theory, but she isn’t so sure. In the weeks leading up to 9/11, Paris, and Brussels, they knew something was coming because of the activity in the Middle East. Not so this time. No one is moving their families in expectation of counterattacks. No one is coming forward to claim responsibility. Wells concludes that you don’t take credit for something you haven’t finished yet. Obviously, this is a very distressing thought.

 

Samantha: This was an Almost Chills moment for me.

Dani: This was the moment I started forming conspiracy theories. Like… maybe they were meant to find the dud bomb and assume it was a Jihadist thing, even though it wasn’t. And maybe the reason there’s no chatter abroad is because this originated internally. Maybe some shadowy American group has decided they’re tired of trying to change the country through elections and the democratic process and stuff. My money’s on the Illuminati.

Mari: White House. Tom is getting ready to address the nation. Alex tells him he looks the part. Tom whispers that he knows this is going to change everything for them, but he has to do it. He asks if Alex is still on his side, and Alex says she always is. (D: She and her perfect, perfect cheeks.)

Outside on the grounds somewhere, General Cochran says something has to be done. Aaron says they are doing all they can already, but Cochran meant this in a more nudge-nudge-assasination way. Aaron thinks this is crazy talk, but Cochran is adamant. Tom was Secretary of Housing and Urban Development. He can’t lead the free world. No surprise that General Cochran totally believes he’d be perfect for the job.

Back in the White House, Tom looks around as he prepares to give his speech. Emily and Alex both give him encouraging nods. Tom sits and Seth asks him to remove his glasses because they aren’t very presidential. Okay, yeah, but do you want him to read the teleprompter or nah?

Samantha: Oh my god this is all I could think. (D: Same!!) I doubt he’s wearing those glasses for vanity, y’all. Squinting can’t be very presidential either.

Mari: Glasses off, we get a countdown until he’s live. Tom looks at the camera and starts, “My fellow Americans,” before we cut to black.

Well! That was a pilot! I mean that in a very, “this had all the elements and shortcomings of a pilot” kind of way. I think that we gathered most of the information we needed in the trailer, to be honest, and there just wasn’t that sense of tension here, nor was there enough time inside of Tom’s head or emotions to put the focus on his reactions rather than the plot events.

I thought the flashback portion was superfluous and messed up the pacing of an already too-slow pilot. I also don’t really know where we’re going here, story wise, though I guess there are open story lines: who bombed the Capitol? Are there more attacks coming? Can Tom do it? Will Tom get killed? I can acknowledge all of those questions and yet I still have this feeling that I’m not sure what the end game of this show really is.

But, alas, we’re kind of obliged to give it a second chance next week.

Samantha: Yeah, agreed. I’ll only add that the General character is WAY TOO one-note villain and not enjoyable whatsover. They need to tone him down, ASAP or it’s going to drag everything down.

Dani: Samesies. At this point, it feels like the creators don’t know whether they want this to be a high-stakes or low-stakes sort of show. On the surface, it looks extremely high stakes: bombs! mayhem! the toppling of our fragile government! Yet all of that has already happened, so most of what we’re left with would seem to be low stakes: the gradual rebuilding of a nation, one man’s struggle to lead the country through its greatest crisis ever, the states scrambling to elect 100 new senators and 435 new representatives. There’s nothing wrong with that: I’m actually a fan of low-stakes shows… in the right hands. (Aaron Sorkin wrote an entire episode about the census, and that was one of the most compelling things I’ve ever watched on network TV.) I’m just worried they’re going to try to accomplish both, and it will end up making the high stakes feel very ham-handed (Supergirl, anyone?), and the low stakes feel overly melodramatic. At least there will be plenty to snark about if that happens, so I guess our loss is your win? 

Next time on Designated Survivor: Tom’s first day as President in S01 E02 – The First Day.