Previously: Tessa takes a shower. ‘Cause she’s dirty.
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Samantha: Okay guys. Here it is. The recap where we will finally find out what happens when Tessa finds a boy in her room.
Marines: Don’t forget she’s in a towel! The suspense is killing approximately no one.
Samantha: She asks the brown haired rude boy where Steph is. Her voice comes out in a squeak so maybe she swallowed a mouse in the heathen shower. The boy kind of half smirks at her but doesn’t answer her legit question. I hate him already you guys. (M: Yeah, because he’s a dick.) She asks again and tries to be more polite and girl, there is a strange boy in your room. You do not have to be the polite one. We’re told that the “expression on his face magnifies” but I’m honestly not sure what expression that’s supposed to be?
Mari: He might be half smiling…? So if it’s magnified he’s full smiling? So why doesn’t she just say that he smiles?
Samantha: He finally tells her that he doesn’t know before turning on the TV. Tess continues to try and keep her rudeness in check. GIRLS IT’S OKAY TO NOT BE OVERLY NICE TO BOYS ALL THE TIME.
She asks him to leave so that she can get dressed and mentally feels bummed that he isn’t impressed by her in a towel. I am now going to quote what he says to her and then get real mad about it, okay?
“”Don’t flatter yourself, it’s not like I’m going to look at you,” he scoffs and rolls over, his hands covering his face.”
Hold up. You are a strange fucking boy in a girl’s room. She asked you to GTFO because she is not comfortable with you being there while she GETS DRESSED. You have no high ground. The ONLY acceptable response is “Yes, of course, right away.”
Mari: This is certainly not the right way to characterize Tess as prudish. This is absolutely the right way to let us know, good and early, that Hardin is human garbage.
Samantha: We also find out that he’s English, because of course he is. 1D fanfic and all. Tess isn’t sure how to respond to his refusal so she doesn’t. Ugh. She gets dressed with a strange boy who makes her uncomfortable in her room. She also wonders if he could be gay and that’s why he doesn’t want to look at her. Great. Just great.
She puts on khaki shorts because that’s what bland teen girl protagonists wear. (M: Khaki is for virgins!) Then, THEN, the boy has the nerve to grumpily ask her if she’s done yet.
Tessa does yell at him about being disrespectful and waits for his apology. Instead, because he’s the swoony romantic lead, he laughs at her. (M: Careful, Tessa! Those painties you just put on might melt off!) And she, because she’s the pliant romantic victim, thinks about his dimples and lovely laugh. At that moment, Steph bursts in with apologies for being late and apologies for not telling Tessa that Hardin would be stopping by. Tessa thinks that with Steph’s “choice of friends and late nights” they won’t ever be able to be friends. The issue here isn’t really Steph’s lifestyle choices, Tessy, it’s her not telling you her awful friend would be in your bedroom. Focus on the actual issue.
Tessa tells Steph that her bae is a jerkface and then everyone laughs at her again. The joke is that Hardin Scott is definitely not her boyfriend. Steph brushes off Hardin’s rudeness with a “that’s just how he communicates.” (M: Yeah and murder is just how criminals handle problems?) She asks Tessa to come to a party later and Tessa says she can’t because she’s going into town for supplies and then reading and Skyping. Steph offers Hardin up as chaffeur to get supplies and then continues her plea for the paaaaaartay. Tessa protests that she won’t know anyone there. I’m torn between not being a fan of parties with strangers either and thinking that’s how you get to know people.
Hardin mocks her a bit about not being a party person and this drives Tessa to say yes, she will party with the devil.
I think, sadly, the results of the multiple choice is A. There was a lot of implied blushing even if it was never actually said.
Mari: Extra credit, though, if you picked D.
Next time on After: Tessa and Steph Girl Talk in Chapter 5.
I'm a 28 year old graduated English major and almost librarian. I can often be found singing too loudly (poorly) in the car or spending some time (hours) on Tumblr. I am a lover of Harry Potter, the Spice Girls, and too many other things.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
