After Chapter 17 – Nice is a bad word.

Previously: Truth, dare and drinks at another party
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Marines: We ended the last chapter with Tessa asking Hardin why he doesn’t like her. He wants to know why she would even ask that. Tessa says it’s because she’s been nothing but nice to him (questionable) (S: Probably… not… though…) and she thought they could even be friends (in between judging his tattoos?). Hardin laughs at her because it’s obvious why they can never be friends: she’s too uptight and he thinks she probably grew up in the perfect home where she never had to work for anything. Well, we know she dresses like a Sunday School teacher Hardin, but that is presumptuous.

Samantha: Assumptions and judgment! Throw in some menace and you have a Dreamy Boy.

Mari: Tessa snaps that her alcoholic dad left when she was 10 and her mom had to work hard to send her to college and also that she’s had a job since she was 16. Plus, she wears khaki because she likes it thanks so much. (That’s mostly what she says.) Tessa calls Hardin judgmental in the same breath that she says he shouldn’t be just because she doesn’t dress like all of those other sluts.

Samantha:

Mari: Tessa gets all teary and doesn’t want Hardin to see her this way. That is her primary concern and not, you know, getting far away from this jerk on toast. Hardin asks where she’s going, and Tessa takes a moment to note how unpredictable and moody he is. Something tells me this will not be the last time Anna Todd explains away Hardin’s behavior as IDK MOODY ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

Samantha: We need some Mad Eye.

Mari: Tessa says she’s going to catch the bus since everyone is drunk, and Hardin warns her against that because it’s late. Tessa laughs in his face, because he couldn’t possibly care about her well-being. He says he doesn’t really; he was just casually warning her.

Tessa starts crying again. Hardin asks if she always cries at parties. He smiles when he says this because making Tessa miserable is the only thing we’ve seen that causes him to smile. Theresa says she only cries at parties he’s at, which is a great response, but she ruins it with “and those are the only parties I’ve been to.” Way to to take the zing out and also to get “It’s My Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To” stuck in my head.

Samantha: Now I’m thinking about Casper. 

Mari: Tessa tries to leave but Hardin stops her by softly saying her name. He suggest that she sit for a minute and then she can go to the bus stop. Tessa sits on the floor and hiccups. Hardin starts to warn her off throwing up in his room, but Tessa says she just needs some water. Hardin hands over his Solo cup because– PLOT TWIST: THERE’S WATER IN THERE. HARDIN DOESN’T DRINK.

Samantha: I’m eye role laughing. Eye laughing? Rolling laughter? 

Mari: Both of those are pretty terrible, but I get what you mean.

Tessa can not even believe it but also her buzz is wearing off because apparently 27 shots or whatever ridiculous thing she did cannot hold her down. Tessa asks if Hardin is going to sit there and babysit her but then she feels bad and guilty for yelling at Hardin. Another thing we will probably see again is Tessa’s guilt whenever she asserts or stands up for herself. (S: WORST.)

“You bring out the worst in me,” I murmur aloud, not quite meaning to.

What is it with bad writers and murmuring? Also, with not understanding that a murmur is an audible thing and you don’t have to indicate that it is aloud? WE GET IT.

Hardin says he’s absolutely going to babysit her because she’s drunk for the first time, in his room, and likes to touch his stuff. He gets up on his bed while Tessa drinks some of his water. She gets all weird about tasting mint at the rim of the cup and wondering what Hardin’s mouth tastes like, but the water makes her nauseous so she stops, I don’t know, tonguing the rim of the Solo cup and sits down again.

Samantha: Snark Lady Advice: Don’t drink things given to you by an openly awful human person, even if it just smells like water. IRL this is not a prime opportunity to make out with a cup.

Mari: I feel like we’ve given a lot of drinking advice in these recaps already.

After some silence, Hardin asks Tessa what she wants to do after college. She’s shocked! shocked! at this depth because she figured he’d ask why she was a virgin. She answers that she either wants to be an author or a publisher, whichever comes first. Tessa returns his question and he just rolls his eyes at her.

Uh… bro. IT WAS YOUR MF QUESTION. Oh my god, what a jerk. WHO WROTE THIS SHIT?

Samantha: My boring prediction is that Hardin is expected to go into some family business that he doesn’t actually want to go in to. My less boring prediction is that he wants to become a circus clown and channel his inner angst. 

Mari: My prediction using only context clues and the information provided to us is that Hardin wants to be a serial killer but he can’t say that.

Tessa tries another question and asks if all these books in his room are his. In an amazing turn of events, yes, the books in Hardin’s room belong to him. She asks which is his favorite, but Hardin says he doesn’t pick favorites. Hardin changes the subject by calling Noah Mr. Rogers and the biggest tool he’s ever seen. Tessa tries to defend Noah but she stumbles and all she can say is that he’s nice. Hardin is like OMG nice is the first word you think of when you think of your boyfriend? He says that nice is code for boring.

Trust me, I’m gonna yell about this but let me get the rest of this rubbish out the way. (S: I’ll hold your earrings.)

Tessa stands and gets all huffy. She says that Hardin doesn’t know Noah, but Hardin insists that he knows Noah’s boring because he was wearing a cardigan and loafers. Hardin throws his head back in laughter and Tessa takes this moment to appreciate his dimples. She also has to stop herself from laughing at Noah’s expense because he wears cardigans.

Okay.

1. WTF do authors of crappy romance have against NICE? Hey, do I want to be committed to someone I think is nice? UM, YES? IS THIS A TRICK QUESTION? This idea of having Hardin, a sad and sorry excuse for a decent human being, making fun of Tessa for interacting with nice human beings makes me sick. We are setting up this romance on the basis that Tessa is BORED of NICE and will eventually accept MEAN into her life. I hate it. I hate it so much. (S: Cosign. Omg. I have experienced this you guys and it’s such a toxic mind set to be peddling to anyone. NO.)
2. They are sharing a moment right, maybe their first or second, on the back of making fun of Noah. I hate them both.
3. TESSA, YOU ARE NOT LAUGHING AT SOMEONE ELSE’S CARDIGAN RIGHT NOW. I KNOW YOU COULD NOT POSSIBLY BE, GIRL. YOU OWN A LONG KHAKI SKIRT GIRL. YOU STOP IT.

So after they share their little jokes moment, Hardin goes on:

“Well, he has been dating you for two years and he hasn’t fucked you yet, so I would say he is a square.”

Tessa practically does a spit take because just when she thought they could get along (you know, back when they were making fun of her boyfriend) he says something like this. Hardin smiles cruelly at her and Tessa throws the Solo cup at him and stumbles away.

Because here’s the thing, everyone: a person who will be this kind of unrepentant jerk about someone close to you will have no qualms about being an unrepentant jerk TO YOU. Tessa may try to get in by feeling like she’s part of Hardin’s joke, but he will always, always also turn it around on her.

Samantha: I came into this post with all the rage and Mari Blossom just so eloquently summed everything up and it’s bringing some peace into my life. Also, Moody Alert, he was just trying to “babysit her” but has since changed his mind.

Mari: Back out in the party, Tessa finds Zed who is sitting with a boy named Logan. He offers Tessa more to drink and she accepts it. She asks where Steph is, but Zed thinks she left with Tristan. Tessa vaguely thinks she should be mad but alcohol. She’s so drunk she even thinks Step and Tristan would make a cute couple and doesn’t slut shame her at all. Tessa keeps drinking on top of her 27 shots, I guess, and her “buzz” comes back.

Fifteen minutes later, she’s having a great time with Zed. So good, in fact, that I guess she hasn’t talked about Hardin for fifteen whole minutes, but we skipped that part of the story obviously. It’s time to talk about Hardin again. She’s like, “what a jerk, amIright?” and the boys smile at her. Zed puts his arm around her, in a “friendly” way, and Tessa asks if the busses are still running.

Samantha: I’m going to briefly interrupt because I really hated something here. Tessa is uncomfortable when Zed puts his arm around her and specifically says that she doesn’t ask him to move it because she doesn’t want to make it a big deal. I have also been in situations where I let a guy touch me “casually” in a way I wasn’t comfortable with, because I didn’t want to make it a thing or make him feel bad. No. If you are ever uncomfortable with someone touching you, no matter what you assume their intentions are, it is okay to ask them to stop or shrug out of it. Do not let the conditioning of being polite get in the way of that.  

Mari: Hardin shows up to get in Tessa’s face and ask if she and Zed are a thing now or something. Tessa stands and pushes him out of the way. Hardin tells her that it’s 3am and there are no more buses so she’s stuck here. He’s having a ton of fun at her expense, seeing as she’s forced to be in his area, unless she wants to go home with Zed. I’m not sure those are her only, only options, but either way, Tessa goes back to the couch with Zed to piss Hardin off. He huffs off.

Tessa asks Zed to help her upstairs so she can try to find that empty room again. We end there.

Samantha: Get your comfort food ready for the next chapter. It is a page long but packed with GRRRRRR. 

Mari: Welcome back, I guess.

 

Next time on After: Attempted sexual assault and a kiss in Chapter 18.