Previously: Tessa and Hardin messed around by a lake and it was goofy.
—
Samantha: Oh boy. Here we go.
Tessa tells us that Hardin’s hand is on her thigh and she hopes he never moves it. Sounds like an awkward way to live but okay. She studies his tattoos, making special note of an infinity symbol on his wrist. Apparently she’s a tattoo whisperer (M: lol) because she knows that this one is extra special to him. He asks her what kind of food she likes, and Tessa takes a moment to let us know how refreshing it is that he asked her a normal question. It’s always great when normal questions are a fluke in your romantic endeavors. They laugh over how gross ketchup is because I guess the couple that… um….
Nah, I’ve got nothing.
Marines: I actually love ketchup so the fact that they hate it makes me feel okay with my life and my choices. Hate on, brats.
Samantha: Tessa confesses that she wants to work in publishing as soon as she graduates, which wasn’t that Ana’s “job”? (M: Yes, in Seattle, too. The same job in the same location because we’ve fallen into a fanfiction/plagiarism black hole.) Hardin offers to talk to a contact he has at a publishing house for her, and Tess is shocked he would do something nice. Hardin is embarrassed. Neat.
They arrive at a diner, and Tessa is bummed that Hardin has to put a shirt on. I wonder if Tessa will remember her monogamous boyfriend at all this chapter. They get inside and order burgers and fries per Hardin’s obscure order recommendation. They talk about her childhood while they wait and then eat. Tessa is super hungry because magic orgasms really leave you ravenous.
On the drive back, Tessa tells Hardin that he “can be really good when he tries to be.” I vom a little because the implication is that his default is being shitty and that it’s really special when he makes the extra effort for her sometimes. They park and start heavy making out in the car. Is it dark? This is campus parking so there is probably students walking around but okay, front seat straddle make out session it is. Also, his tongue “massages” hers and idk why that sounds so unsexy to me.
Mari: I think we’ve quickly reached the point where anything they do will seem v unsexy to us.
Samantha: Before it can go further, Tessa’s phone rings. It’s Noah and Hardin sees that it’s him. I’m just going to quote the description here and then talk about my actual anxiety that flared up because of it.
“His expression changes, and fearing that I’m losing him, this mood, I hit the ignore button and toss my phone back into the passenger seat.”
Tessa then tries to keep kissing him but:
“”I think I better go.” His tone is clipped, and sends worry through me. When I draw back to look at him, his gaze is distant and ice immediately replaces the fire in my body.”
Hokey.
- I know that the context here, Tessa having a boyfriend who is suddenly calling, could definitely dampen the mood but the way it’s being handled is very reminiscent of a shitty relationship I was in once because
- I remember the feeling of panic when his mood would change, when I was losing the good and frantically trying to fix it and keep it, like it was my responsibility and fault. So this genuinely made me a little sick.
I could be taking this way too personally and it’s maybe not that big a thing, it’s hard for me to tell, but I didn’t know how to keep recapping without addressing it, it hit that close to home.
Mari: I’m with you. Regardless of the “context” (which is Tessa having a boyfriend, which Hardin knew about way before this moment), his reaction is very reminiscent of something abusive, or at the very least manipulative. She is experiencing fear in this moment and it’s just hard to read about.
Samantha: Thank you for being eloquent, Mari.
Tessa tells Hardin that she’s going to talk to Noah and break up with him; she just has to figure out how. Hardin turns in a emotionally manipulative douche and tells Tessa not to break up with Noah for him, belittling their relationship, whatever it is, and her feelings. She tells him that he’s disgusting and to stay away from her. The obligation here is not that he has to be in a super serious relationship here now, it’s to communicate better and not be the worst.
Tessa goes into her room and cries because he was just nice to her so that he could get in her pants. And thankfully this chapter is over.
Next time on After: Hardin will probably not stay away from Tessa or vice versa in Chapter 27.
I'm a 28 year old graduated English major and almost librarian. I can often be found singing too loudly (poorly) in the car or spending some time (hours) on Tumblr. I am a lover of Harry Potter, the Spice Girls, and too many other things.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
