Gilmore Girls S01 E10 – Everything Is Henry’s Fault

Previously: Rory went to a dance and stayed out all night sleeping
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Forgiveness and Stuff

Katie: First, I have to offer a disclaimer: I have loved Gilmore Girls since Season 1, and this is one of my very favorite episodes. I actually rewatch it every December- it’s become as much of a Christmas staple as Home Alone and Love Actually. So my apologies in advance if this Snark Squad recap is a bit low on, well… snark.

Marines: Totally fair! Last episode left us with a lot of feels and this one has forgiveness right in the title, so I’m ready.

Katie: We open in Miss Patty’s studio, where the people of Stars Hollow are preparing for their annual Christmas pageant with characteristic quirk: Kirk complaining about Lorelai sticking him with pins as she’s fitting him for his costume, a pregnant before-Mary and a non-pregnant after-Mary, and a baby Jesus doll whose arm is missing, which Rory brings to Taylor’s attention. After Taylor makes an announcement about the missing arm, Rory tries to convince him to just use a different doll, especially since this one has a painted-on bow. Taylor indignantly objects that this doll has been used in every pageant since 1965. Miss Patty comes up to Taylor with another problem- the before-Mary is about to become an after, and  she wonders who else in town is knocked up. (Can they not just stuff a pillow under someone’s costume?) We see Lorelai and Rory exchange glances from across the room, and it’s clear that things are still tense with them in the fallout from Rory staying out all night with Dean. As they’re leaving, Lorelai asks if they found the arm, and Rory says no. We, the audience, see that the arm has been stolen by a dog.

Mari: If that’s a metaphor for anything, I don’t get it.

Katie: It is a little random. Like, they had to find a dog actor just for that two-second scene?

…And then I remembered that “Dog” is “God” spelled backwards and the dog has baby Jesus’s arm and now my mind has gone to weird theological places. Anyway.

WHERE YOU LEAD, I WILL FOLLOW

Rory and Lane meet in the gazebo, and there’s exposition that things are still weird with the Gilmore ladies, and Rory is keeping her distance from Dean for the moment, not returning his calls. This segues into a discussion of Christmas presents and how Rory is getting Dean Kafka’s The Metamorphosis, but Lane thinks that this would be like Dean getting Rory a football and shares a story about how her buying her mom perfume resulted in her being sent to Korean Bible camp all summer. It’s kind of a long conversation considering it has nothing to do with the rest of the episode and we never find out what Rory actually DOES get Dean.

Independence Inn. Michel is being obnoxious to a guy decorating the tree, telling him to move the fairy ornament but refusing to show him where it is. (M: Rude and also pointless in the grand scheme of the episode.) Lorelai answers the phone, and it’s Emily calling about her Christmas dinner on Friday. Lorelai had forgotten about it in the chaos of the week, and things are very frosty between them. Lorelai says she won’t be there in time for cocktails due to work, and Emily tells her she just shouldn’t come, although Rory should. Lorelai is shocked, and disbelievingly asks Emily a few times if she really means it- even when she was a kid and had the measles, she had to go to the dinner. Emily tells her that she’s not happy with her right now and thinks the way Lorelai treated her was unacceptable. Lorelai is visibly upset as she hangs up.

Mari: DAMN. Emily has 0 chill and actually just uninvited her daughter to Christmas. Plus, she obviously is taking no responsibility for her side of unacceptable treatment.

Katie: Gilmore House. Rory tells Lorelai she wishes she’d change her mind, and Lorelai says it’s not her mind that needs changing. Rory’s not convinced that Emily really meant it, but Lorelai insists that she did, and tells Rory to put her name on Emily’s present as “the innkeeper formerly known as her daughter.” Rory tells Lorelai she’s acting a little immature. Lorelai:“I’m not acting.” Rory brings up how Lorelai always loves the apple tarts they have at the party (every year? Do they buy them? It’s well-established that the Gilmores don’t make their own food.) and Lorelai hands Rory the car keys. Rory heads out, barely missing Lorelai’s request for her to bring back a tart.

After the not-break, Rory arrives at the elder Gilmores’. She tells Emily that the present is from her and Lorelai and that Lorelai picked it out, which Emily ignores. Meanwhile, Richard is getting angry after a colleague tells him that another colleague named Henry has revised some of Richard’s work without telling him. They pause as Emily tells them that Rory has arrived, and we learn that Richard had no idea that Lorelai wasn’t coming. But he quickly turns his attention back to his colleague and the issue with Henry. He storms out of the room to call Henry, who is apparently in London. Rory turns back to Emily and tries to apologize for the incident the previous week. Emily brushes her off and bitchily says, “This is not the time or the place for this. Your mother should have taught you that.” Rory pleads for Emily not to be mad at Lorelai. Emily insists she’s not mad at anyone and tells Rory to bring a drink to a partygoer.

Lorelai is on the phone with the pizza delivery guy- her pizza is over an hour late because the delivery van is apparently broken. She opens her fridge and pours some salad dressing into a bag of lettuce. As she’s sitting down to eat it, she hears a tapping on the window in Rory’s room. She goes to the window and finds, of course, a sheepish-looking Dean. She tells him Rory’s not there. “I’ll tell her you tapped.” She goes to close the window, but Dean isn’t leaving. He apologizes for the incident the previous week, telling her, truthfully, that they fell asleep reading a book. Lorelai: “Pick a more interesting book next time.” She sighs, and Dean asks if he’s Public Enemy #1 with her. Lorelai says she doesn’t know where she stands with him, just that he’s responsible for Rory not coming home that night. Dean insists that he’d never hurt Rory or let anything happen to her. Lorelai reminds him that she was the same age Rory is now when she had her and that Rory wants to go to Harvard. Dean says that Rory will go to Harvard, and that if she doesn’t, it won’t be because of him. He turns to leave, and Lorelai says that she doesn’t hate him, even if she did imagine twenty different ways to remove his head from his body. Dean asks which one looked the best, and Lorelai tells him dull hedge clippers. They smile awkwardly at each other, and as Dean turns away, Lorelai tells him to use the front door next time.

      Mari: And thus starts our journey to many forgivenesses.

Katie: Out on the streets of Stars Hollow, Andrew, the bookstore owner, is conducting a bell choir as Lorelai walks by. He stops and tells a bell choir member named Henry that he rings on three, not two. They argue about it, clarify things, and start up again, but Henry continues to mess up and Andrew hisses, “Henry!” before we cut away from the scene. ANOTHER Henry who’s causing problems? Richard’s Henry is in London, or I’d think they were the same guy. Was the writer of this episode mad at someone named Henry or something? EVERYTHING IS HENRY’S FAULT.

Lorelai takes a seat at Luke’s. Luke- who, I should mention right now, is not only my favorite character on this show but one of my favorite characters on any show, ever- comes over and asks if she’s forbidden Rory to see “the bag boy.” Lorelai says no, but Luke keeps insisting that Dean is trouble. Lorelai, showing that she really has come around, defends Dean so vigorously that I’m kind of like, “Uh, do YOU have a thing for Dean?” (Don’t worry, she doesn’t. This isn’t The O.C. (M: A+) Luke says he’ll get Lorelai’s burger, but she asks to see a menu. Luke is confused since she comes in there every day and never asks for a menu. Lorelai says she’s in the mood for something different, and after consulting the menu, asks Luke if he has anything festive. Luke: “I just got some grey poupon. It’s French.” Lorelai tells Luke about the Christmas party and how much she loves it and how she’s uninvited this year. Luke wonders why anyone would celebrate Christmas two weeks in advance. Lorelai’s like, uh, did you hear the part about me being uninvited? She says she’s not sure why she cares so much. Luke armchair-psychologists that she liked going, Rory’s there without her, Lorelai and Rory aren’t getting along, and Lorelai feels bad at being separated from Rory at a time they’re usually together. “Did I mention you come here every damn day?

Mari: And in his heart he’s saying, “and I pay attention.” We see you, Luke.

Katie: At the elder Gilmores’, they’re all sitting down for dinner (and there aren’t that many of them), and while the guests are complimenting the food, Richard is still complaining about Henry. He asks if it’s hot in the room, and Emily tells him not to loosen his tie at the table. When someone asks about Lorelai, Emily says that she wasn’t feeling well, and when a guest mentions that Emily had earlier said that Lorelai had to work, Emily improvises that Lorelai had to work but then caught the flu. Richard gets up to lower the thermostat, and Emily calls for him and heads out of the room after him.

Back at Luke’s, Luke has made Lorelai a Santa burger, with ketchup and cream cheese comprising the hat and beard.

      Lorelai smiles and thanks Luke, who tells her in embarrassment that it was nothing, and she says no one has ever made her something “quite this disgusting before.” Lorelai’s cell phone rings, and Luke points at the sign and tells her to go outside. Lorelai protests and tries to get the other patrons to back her up, asking who thinks they shouldn’t use cell phones in the diner, but that backfires when everyone raises their hands. Lorelai says screw democracy, and goes to answer it, but it’s already gone to voicemail. Taylor heads in with a group of carolers and asks if they can sing for hot chocolate, but Luke’s not about to give it to them for free. Their argument is interrupted by Lorelai, who has checked her voicemail and learned that Richard is in the hospital after collapsing.

Obviously very upset but attempting to hold things together, she asks for a phone before remembering that she’s holding one and then starting to panic as she realizes she doesn’t have the car and needs to remember the number for the cab company. She’s almost yelling by the time she finishes asking the diner if anyone knows the number for a cab- and then Luke just drops everything and says he’ll drive her. Lorelai: “But there’s food and there’s people and there’s a burger with a face.” Luke announces that all the food is on him and gives Taylor the keys, telling him to have his hot chocolate and lock up. Lorelai sniffles as she puts her coat on and says, “Luke, I’m-” Luke says, “I know. Let’s go.” And they head out to his truck.

Have I mentioned how much I love Luke? Because I really freaking love Luke.

Mari: He’s been little used in the episodes so far, but that was a great scene for him, from Santa Burger and beyond.

Katie: Another not-break, and Luke and Lorelai are in Luke’s truck driving to the hospital. Lorelai is trying to get him to drive faster, but Luke says it wouldn’t be safe because there’s ice on the road. Lorelai frets over Rory’s voicemail and its lack of details. She wonders if Richard is dead. Luke says he’s not, and Lorelai shoots back, “Oh, so you’re psychic? You’re suddenly having visions as we drive at twenty miles an hour in the oldest truck known to man?” Then she sighs and apologizes, acknowledging that Luke is killing himself to get them there and she doesn’t mean it. She says she feels like this is one of those moments where she should be remembering good times with her dad, like when he got her a Barbie or took her fishing, but instead her mind is a complete blank. Luke says he’s sure it happened, and Lorelai said it didn’t. He went to work, came home, read the paper, and went to bed, while Lorelai snuck out the window. She says Richard was always a very by-the-numbers guy, and she was never very good with numbers. Luke says he’s sure Richard loves her, and Lorelai says Richard is not a bad guy, that he lived his life the way he thought he was supposed to, working hard and buying a nice house. She says that all he wanted in return was for his daughter to wear white dresses and go to cotillion and want the same life that he did, and it must have been such a disappointment for him to get her. Luke says very sincerely that he can’t imagine anyone seeing Lorelai as a disappointment. Lorelai says Luke would be the kind of dad who’d buy his daughter a Barbie, and he says he’d probably give her the money himself and meet her by the baseball cards. She says he’d make a great dad, and he says, “You MAKE a great mom.” Lorelai quietly says that it’s just the daughter part she doesn’t have down yet. Luke is silent, then speeds up, saying that the Camaro in front of them is dust. What a great scene. (M: Wonderful.)

In the hospital, Emily is fretting at a nurse played by JANE LYNCH! She’s asking why she can’t see Richard, and Jane Lynch says they’re running some tests. She makes several more demands before Jane Lynch tells her to just wait there and then heads through some nearby double doors. Rory asks if she’s heard anything, and Emily says the place is run like the CIA. A friend comes over to Emily and says he’ll try to find out as much as he can, and heads through the same double doors. Rory wonders if she should call Lorelai again, but Emily says Lorelai is probably very busy. Rory protests, but Emily tells her to go get Richard a newspaper to read when he gets back to his room. She asks if she can get Emily anything, then heads off. Emily sneaks around a corner, takes out her cell phone, and calls Lorelai’s home phone, which of course she can’t answer. So she heads back to the nurse’s station, where Jane Lynch asks “Ms. Gilmore” to fill out some forms and Emily snaps at her that it’s MRS., not MS. “I am not a cosmo woman.” She then sarcastically asks exactly WHAT will happen if she doesn’t fill out the forms on time.

Meanwhile, Lorelai and Luke are trying to find their way around the hospital. Lorelai wonders if there must be some kind of familial instinct that will lead her to her parents, but then she hears Emily yelling at Jane Lynch and follows the sound. Emily looks up and says, “You came!” Lorelai says of course she came and asks about how Richard is. Emily says she’s trying to find out but Jane Lynch keeps trying to make her fill out the insurance information. Lorelai offers to fill out the forms while Jane Lynch goes to find out how Richard is. Jane Lynch, who would rather do that than continue to listen to Emily, agrees and heads through the double doors. Emily starts to recount how Richard collapsed, then notices Luke and asks if Lorelai was on a date.

    Lorelai asks about Dr. Reynolds, the friend who said he’d find out about Richard, and Emily says she can’t find out anything because everyone keeps disappearing behind the double doors. Lorelai says, “Let’s go,” and heads through the doors herself. Emily, for some reason, is totally mystified by the revelation that she could, in fact, have just walked through the doors herself this whole time, and follows Lorelai. Luke says he’ll wait there and sits down in a chair.

Mari: Emily the rule follower thought she was being snappy by refusing to fill out forms and didn’t realize she could just walk behind the double doors. Precious.Katie: Just then Rory comes by and sees Luke. Luke says he gave Lorelai a ride, and awkwardly adds that they weren’t on a date. Rory asks if they found out anything else about Richard, and Luke says they might in a couple of minutes. He asks Rory if she’s okay, and Rory says she doesn’t want Richard to die. Luke tells her to tell Richard that when she sees him.

Lorelai comes through the double doors, and she and Rory hug. Rory gets emotional, saying that what happened was horrible and happened so fast. Lorelai says Richard is almost done with the tests they’re doing and that Emily is currently kicking a patient out of the room with the good view. Rory says that she wants to do something to be useful- get coffee, make phone calls. Lorelai says coffee is a good idea. Rory asks Luke if he wants tea, and he requests peppermint tea. I don’t think that line was supposed to be funny, but it makes me laugh because… Luke does not strike me as a peppermint tea kind of guy.

Before Rory heads off, Lorelai tells her that Richard is going to be fine, and heartbreakingly, Rory says, “I was just getting to know him.” As Rory goes to get the coffee and Lorelai sinks into the chair next to Luke, Luke compliments her on being brave for Rory. Lorelai sighs and says that this situation sucks. Luke tells her to think positively, and hilariously tries to come up with some positive thoughts: “Rainbows. Unicorns. Clouds. Little, cute, furry… I’m out.” Emily comes through the double doors, saying they’ve secured Richard the room but the pillows are “completely unacceptable” and she’ll be right back after she finds some better ones.

A patient is wheeled by on a gurney, and Luke has to throw his head back and take deep breaths. Lorelai asks if he’s okay, and he says yes, he just hates hospitals and seeing patients in them. This is a guy who’s lost both his parents, so while he doesn’t come right out and say so, this has to be bringing back some bad memories for him. Lorelai says he could go home, since he doesn’t look so good. Luke’s like, uh, thanks, and Lorelai says that’s not what she meant, because he always looks good. Luke gives her an, “Oh, really?” look and she says he always looks healthy, then is like, oh, come on, we’re not in fifth grade, I just said you look good. Luke’s looking at her with this little smile, but it only lasts until another patient is wheeled by and he throws his head back again.

But the next patient wheeled through the double doors is Richard. She asks the guy wheeling the gurney how Richard is, and he says Richard is groggy, but she’ll have to ask the doctor for any more details, although she can go into Richard’s room until the doctor gets there. Lorelai stops short there, even though Luke tells her to go ahead. She says she’s going to find Emily and Rory to tell them, and rejects Luke’s offer to tell them himself. Just then, Emily comes over, and Lorelai tells her Richard has been brought up. Emily heads to Richard’s room, but Lorelai tells her to go ahead while she finds Rory. Luke again reminds her that he could look for Rory, but again, Lorelai says that she’ll do it. Just then, Rory comes back, saying the coffee machine was jammed. Lorelai tells her about Richard, and Rory heads to his room. Lorelai again won’t go, saying she has to make a call. Luke can clearly see how Lorelai’s stalling to avoid seeing her father in the hospital room, and suggests that she go find Jimmy Hoffa. He tells her he can’t avoid going in the room forever, and tries to get her to admit that she’s afraid. He says the truth hurts and Lorelai’s like, no, having a screwdriver jammed inside your head hurts. Luke turns around and sees… presumably just that.

After another not-break, Rory is reading to Richard from the financial papers she got earlier. Emily comes in with the pillows and suggests Rory save the rest of the paper for later. Rory gets up and asks Richard if it will hurt if she hugs him. Richard says pain is part of life, and their hug is a sweet moment.

Rory heads out into the hallway and finds Luke in the chair looking at the floor. She asks where Lorelai is and he says she’s looking for coffee. She asks what Luke’s doing. “Staring at my shoes.” Rory tells him to carry on and walks away as Luke covers his head in his hands.

Back in Richard’s room, Emily fluffs the pillows as Richard tells her they need to talk. She keeps talking about the pillows as he tells her where she can find all of the insurance information and their will. He says, “If I die…” and at that point, Emily interrupts him and says, “No!” She’s teary as she tells him that he’s not going to die there in that hospital and sniffles as she adds, “In fact, I demand to go first. Is that clear?” Richard looks at her lovingly and says, “Yes, Emily. You may go first.”

OH GOD. This was always a tearjerker of a scene, but a million times more so now that Edward Herrmann has passed away in real life. If anyone dares to be on Team Heartless Cow for this episode, I don’t think I want to know you.

Mari: I don’t think that anyone would describe Richard and Emily’s relationship as particularly loving, but this was a very tender and sweet moment, but also still very in character for them both. It goes right along with that Lorelai said about her dad, just being the kind of good guy he thought he should be, and how that ultimately was incompatible with who Lorelai is. I mean to say that we see these two as often distant or rude or what not, but this tender moment is a good reminder that they are also just a little different.

Katie: Lorelai finds the coffee machine still jammed, and Rory joins her. After asking if the doctor’s been in Richard’s room yet, Lorelai tells her about Dean visiting. Rory warily asks her if she was mean, and Lorelai tells her that Dean told her nothing happened that night. Rory said nothing did, and Lorelai says she knows and that she just panicked when Rory didn’t come home, and Rory swears nothing like that will ever happen again. Lorelai tells her not to swear on that, since she is Lorelai’s daughter. They both say they hated that Rory attended the party alone. Lorelai asks about the apple tarts, and Rory says Emily didn’t make them this year. (Wait, she DOES make them? Even though her cook makes everything else?) Lorelai asks if Rory’s lying, and she confirms that she is.

Emily comes out of Richard’s room and finds Luke still sitting in the chair. She sits down next to him. Luke asks how Richard is, and Emily says she doesn’t know. Luke compliments the tie that Emily is holding. Emily recalls how she told Richard not to loosen it at dinner, and then the paramedics took it off him and she hasn’t been able to put it down since. She rolls her eyes and says she must sound crazy. Luke tells her that he kept his father’s store the way he left it- he turned it into a diner, but he left up the stuff on the walls, the pictures in the office, and even the hardware sign. Emily said his father would have appreciated having his life’s work honored like that, and Luke says his father would have called him a damn fool. After a pause, Emily tearily says she doesn’t know what Lorelai told Luke about Richard, but he’s a very good man who always did the right thing for his family. Luke, truthfully, tells Emily that Lorelai told him that. Emily asks what’s going on between Luke and Lorelai, and Luke says that they’re just friends. Emily: “You’re idiots, the both of you.” Just then, Lorelai and Rory come back. Emily says she’s going to wash her face, and Rory goes with her. Luke asks Lorelai what she’s going to do, and gestures toward Richard’s room. Officially out of excuses, Lorelai says she’ll go in.

In the room, Richard is lying there with his eyes closed but not quite sleeping. Lorelai stares at him from the foot of the bed. Richard blinks, then opens his eyes and sees Lorelai there, and they exchange a look. It’s hard to describe this moment, but the look they exchange says a LOT. It’s like all their love and fear and regret are showing up in their eyes at that moment.

  And then the door opens and Emily and Rory come in with the doctor. The doctor shares the happy news that Richard’s illness was “just a touch of angina” and while he’ll have to adjust his diet and exercise, he’ll be fine. Lorelai smiles at Richard in relief and slips out the door as the doctor is saying that they’d like to keep Richard overnight.

In the hallway, she runs into Luke, who comes up to her with a cup of coffee and says he heard the good news about Richard. Lorelai says that they’re keeping Richard overnight, but he’s going to be fine, and then suddenly breaks down crying on Luke’s shoulder, as if she can only let her emotions out now that the crisis has been resolved. Luke hugs her and says that this should be the moment where the guy gives the girl a handkerchief, but he doesn’t have one and finds the practice a little revolting. Lorelai laughs and stands up. Luke gives her the cup of coffee, which he says he got from the nurse’s lounge, saying, “You’re not the only one who can flirt,” before admitting that he just went in because the door was open. Lorelai thanks him, and when he asks if there’s anything else he can do, she asks him to take Rory home while she stays at the hospital to make sure everything’s fine. Rory comes out, and she and Lorelai hug. Rory offers to stay at the hospital with Lorelai, but Lorelai tells her to go home and call Dean. Luke and Rory head out, and Lorelai settles into a chair. Emily comes out of Richard’s room and sits next to her. Lorelai tells her that she’s still here in case anyone needs something. Emily’s clearly pleased at this, and Lorelai’s like, well, clearly YOU don’t need anything, but someone somewhere might. Emily suggests that they go down to the cafeteria, and Lorelai agrees.

Stars Hollow. XTC’s “Thanks for Christmas” plays as the town gets ready for the Christmas pageant rehearsal. Lorelai goes into Luke’s. Luke asks about Richard, and Lorelai says that he’s better, although he misses eating steak. She gives Luke a present, and he opens it to find a blue baseball cap. Lorelai puts it on his head- facing FORWARDS- and after saying how wrong it looks, puts it on him backwards. She tells him to turn down the lights so that they can see the procession outside. He asks why, since it’s just the rehearsal and the same thing every year, but she insists. He turns down the lights and joins her at the window. Lorelai says softly that it’s hard to imagine living anywhere else. He thanks her for the hat, and she says it looks good on him. Luke: Good how? Lorelai: Just watch the procession.

Hands-down my favorite episode of Season 1 and one of my favorite episodes of the whole show. I’m sorry I couldn’t be snarkier about it, but I hope you all enjoyed this as much as I did.

 

Next time on Gilmore Girls: Chilton finds out about Lorelai and Max in S01 E11 – Paris Is Burning.