Previously: The Tyrells got whooped.
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The Spoils of War
Democracy Diva: The previouslies take us back to early Season 1, with Catelyn saving Bran from a dagger, so you know some mysterious shit is going down. Also, Qyburn’s reading up on dragonslaying, Arya’s heading north, Theon is a mess, the Unsullied took Casterly Rock but lost the Reach, and Flowerboss Olenna Tyrell went out like a motherfucking diva. I want Diana Rigg hissing “I want her to know it was meeee…” as my ringtone.
Catherine: DO IT. Anyone who gives you a weird look for it is not a person you wanna hang out with anyway.
Diva: Done.
After the credits, we watch a Lannister wagon train depart Highgarden. Jamie looks through the gold – there’s a LOT of it – and hands a bag to Bronn. (Yay, Bronn’s here!) He does his Bronn thing, sassing at Jamie for pouting over the victory, while proving himself smarter than he seems by asking if Flowerboss did something to piss Jamie off before she died. (M: And how.) Bronn also wants to know when he’s getting the castle he was promised. He’ll take Highgarden, but Jamie tells him it’s not worth the risk or the upkeep. Bronn gives no fucks, he just wants the debt paid. Jamie says, when we win the war and there’s peace, you’ll have your pick of castles. Bronn speaks for the audience when he says “lol yeah Queen Cersei’s reign is gonna be soooo peaceful sure.”
Marines: If everyone can keep calling Jaime out on that bullshit belief that everything will be fine with Cersei as queen, I would really appreciate it. He needs to hear it loud and often.
Diva: Too true.
Randyll and Dickon Tarly ride over and exposit about how they’re bringing in the harvest from the reach. Jamie sends Bronn to go help them.
Kings Landing. Mycroft from the Iron Bank of Braavos congratulates Cersei on paying her debt in full, via the gold from Highgarden. Cersei tells him the gold is en route, escorted by Jamie. Mycroft already misses her interest payments and offers a new loan to rebuild her armies and navies. Cersei lurks dramatically over her floor map of Westeros, because what’s the point of having a giant map hand-painted on your floor if you don’t lurk over it dramatically? Anyway, we learn that Qyburn has reached out to the Golden Company, another sellsword company in Essos. Mycroft is happy because they’re also good at making sure people pay their debts. Cersei wants to collect on a few herself, and Mycroft assures her that he’s Team Cersei as soon as he has that sweet, sweet Highgarden gold.
Winterfell. Littlefinger presents Bran with a dagger – the one someone sent to cut his throat after his fall, but Catelyn saved him because she was awesome and defeated Valyrian steel with her bare fuckin’ hands. Littlefinger regrets not being able to save Catelyn before she died, but insists he’s here to protect her children as she would have. He reminds the audience that the question of who owns this dagger basically set off the War of the Five Kings. He asks Bran what it’s like, to go through so much, see so much, and return home during all this chaos. “Chaos is a ladder,” Bran tells him, repeating Littlefinger’s own words from years ago and miles away. The look on Lord Petyr Baelish’s face is worth eight thousand years of Bran roaming around the woods and talking to trees and shit. I’ve never seen Littlefinger so shook, and I hope I get to see much more of that look before one of the Stark kids kills him. Or all of them. I’m not picky.
1- Bran has to know who that knife belongs to, so him asking makes me think it’s Littlefinger’s? I mean, it is. He said as much, but he also said he lost it in a bet to Tyrion, which is why Cat arrested him, which is why Ned died, etc. We took Littlefinger’s word for it then (mostly?) but he could’ve basically set off the War of the Five Kings.
b- The chaos speech was iconic Petyr and something to keep in mind when considering his motivations. That little shit is just here to create chaos and climb on its back.
cat- I was torn about why this was happening in the first place. It seems a strange gift and also why remind people about this knife and his connection to it? The best I can believe is that there is a male Stark back in town and Littlefinger is smarming and sucking up.
Which makes his being out-creeped ALL THE SWEETER.
Catherine: Littlefinger gives off such an encroaching step-dad vibe. I can’t even hate his scenes because of the way the Stark kids are shutting him down left and right.
Diva: I get more into my Littlefinger thoughts at the end, but in general, yes to all of this.
This beautiful moment is interrupted by Meera. This is a bummer of a scene in which Meera tells Bran she’s going home, and he fails to give any sort of proper farewell or genuine gratitude for everything she has sacrificed for him. It’s upsetting, but as Bran tells us, he’s not really Bran anymore. He’s seen too much now. Meera tells him he died in the cave, and then just just walks off the show. What a dumb scene. She deserved better. I get that being a tree makes you a poor social companion, but this is still blech to watch.
We see the back of Arya, on a horse – and Winterfell, far off in the distance. I’m already crying. I’m not going to stop crying for several scenes. Just deal with it. Arya walks up to the gates, where the guards tell her to fuck off. She asks for Maester Lewin or Ser Rodrick, who died so many seasons ago it’s almost hilarious for her to bring them up. She asks for Jon, who’s far away, and the guards again tell her to fuck off. They tell her Lady Stark is in charge, and Arya doesn’t even know who they mean for a moment. One of the guards swipes at her, but she easily dances out of the way. She informs these two dipshits that she’s getting into this castle. If she’s not Arya Stark, she won’t last long; if she is, she’ll tell Sansa exactly how helpful they were to her. It reminds me (and Tumblr) of Season 1 Arya:
Diva: They begrudgingly agree to let her enter and sit her down in the courtyard while they argue over who is going to talk to Lady Sansa about this. We watch Arya take in her home, looking around the courtyard, more at peace than we’ve seen her in years. The northern music plays and I’m still crying. She smiles at the direwolf banners. The guards turn around, and she’s already gone.
Lady Sansa is barely paying attention to the two blustering guards, saying some winter town girl came in pretending to be her sister and disappeared. When they mention the names Arya knew – Ser Rodrick and Maester Lewin – Sansa looks up, and does this flicker of a smile that devastates my soul. She knows where her sister is.
Winterfell Crypts. Arya gazes up at the statue of Ned. Sansa approaches. “Do I have to call you Lady Stark now?” Arya asks her sister. “Yes.” Sansa deadpans. I may have done a sob-laugh-squeal sound at this exchange, the first words the Stark sisters have spoken to each other since before their father died. Sansa smiles, hurries over, and hugs her sister. Arya looks less certain, but obliges. She tells Sansa the title suits her, and is impressed Jon left her in charge. Sansa admits it’s gonna be some serious fan service when he comes home and sees Arya again.
Arya says someone who knew Ned better should have carved his statue; Sansa reminds her that all of those people are dead. Not us, Arya tells her.
Mari: NOT US. In an episode that shows us just how not the same these Starks who have returned home are, this is a good reminder that they’ve survived, against all odds. They are different because they faced so much to get here. And while the name of war has changed since we started this journey, these girls remember the very beginning. They were both there when Ned was executed and even if no one else remembers that, or the knife that set off the War of the Five Kings, or the shape of Ned’s face, they do. They do and they are alive and they are amazing. #TeamStark
Catherine: Also, can we talk about, CAN WE TALK ABOUT how grown up they both are? They’re so quiet and calm and reserved. So nice to each other and respectful I CAN’T STOP CRYING. HELP.
Diva: It has truly been a privilege to watch these characters AND these actors grow up over the last several years. Maisie and Sophie started as talented little girls, but they have grown into these roles and developed such immense talent over the years that it’s truly incredible. You don’t always get lucky casting a kid and hoping they turn out to be both attractive and talented post-puberty (see: Bran Stark), but sometimes if you’re lucky, you get a Kiernan Shipka in Mad Men, and that’s what we got with Maisie and Sophie. They are incredible women, and seeing them all growed up gives me all the feels, even without Tumblr gifs of them in Season 1.
Arya asks Sansa if she really murdered Joffrey, and they bond over both wishing they had been the one to kill him. It’s the best sister bonding in the universe. Arya makes a reference to Joffrey being on her list, and Sansa asks about it. She explains that it’s a hit list, and Sansa just laughs, like Ed Sheeran and the Lannister Boy Band did in the woods. The Stark sisters recognize that they’ve had long and difficult roads back to Winterfell, but their stories aren’t over yet. Arya looks emotional, and rushes into her sister’s arms. Sansa gets somber again when she tells Arya that Bran is home too. Arya looks excited, which makes it even worse. Her face falls when she sees Sansa’s.
Heart Tree. The girls approach Bran, and Arya gives him a hug that he does not return. He saw her at the Crossroads, and Sansa delivers the line “Bran… has… visions” with such a perfect combination of skepticism and grace that I can’t stop laughing. Bran references Arya’s kill list, and Sansa understands now that the list is real. (I’m relieved they solved this rift in a single scene – I did not like there being issues between my girls.) Sansa looks pretty fucking impressed.
Diva: It’s the best.
Bran pulls out the dagger Littlefinger gave him, explaining its history on the show. Sansa knows this is some kind of nefarious move by Littlefinger, but Bran doesn’t care. He gives the knife to Arya, who notes that it’s Valyrian steel.
The girls wheel Bran back into Winterfell’s courtyard, and it’s amazing to watch them together again, in this place. Brienne watches them, and her emotional, proud face matches mine. Podrick congratulates her on fulfilling her oath to Catelyn Stark. She says she did nothing.
Dragonstone’s Truly Endless Amount of Steps. Missandei wants to know when the Unsullied, AKA Grey Worm, are coming back. Dany senses something different in Missandei’s tone and asks her for the tea. “Many things” happened, Missandei tells her gf with a smile. “Many things?!?!??!?!?!?!?!!?!!” is Dany’s reply, and it definitely has that exact punctuation. I’m so here for this sex talk, y’all.
Speaking of sex, they’re interrupted by one Jon Snow, and Missandei and Dany exchange a meaningful look that is definitely about Jon Snow’s butt.
Diva: I would many things the shit outta that man. Jon leads them into the dragonglass cave, and Dany’s mind is blown at the sight of it. He does have one other thing to show her, though unfortunately it’s not his dick. (C: Damn.) Jon leads Dany into a deeper cave with a torch, and I can’t watch this man in a cave without thinking about the Ygritte scene and wondering why he isn’t naked yet. But he shows her some cave drawings made by the Great Contrivance Spirit Children of the Forest. Dany is amazed that they were here before there were Targaryens or Starks or Lannisters – or maybe even men. Jon tells her she’s wrong about the last bit, and shows her another convenient drawing – the Children and the First Men were here together. Dany asks if they fought each other. Jon gives her a Meaningful Glance and touches her arm. He leads her to ridiculously detailed drawings of Night’s King and his apocalyptic bros. It is cool that they painted their eyes a terrifying, piercing blue without access to any arts and crafts supplies!
Catherine: He 100% did. He’s that committed. I also believe that he’s secretly very arty.
Diva: There is no other theory that I will accept. Honestly, Davos being a secret Picasso is a lot more believable than these convenient-ass doodles that turn into impeccably detailed portraits.
Anyway, Jon tells her that the Children and the First Men put their differences aside to fight their common enemy – the dead. And that’s what Dany and Jon have to do now. Dany’s finally looking like she believes that the ice zombies are real. He tells her he can’t defeat them without her naked. She steps unreasonably close to him and promises to fight for Jon and the north… if he bends the knee.
Sigh. This fuckin’ queen. Jon tells her his people aren’t down for that, but she gets even closer to him and gives him the big-eyed soft-voiced “they’ll follow you, they luuuurve you,” and tells him the very words he told Mance Rayder when he wanted Mance to bend the knee to Stannis – that the survival of his people need to be more important than one man’s pride.
Diva: Our dream team exits the caves, (M: Jon bathed in fire light, Dany is icy shadows…) where Tyrion and a glum Varys inform them that they took Casterly Rock… but everything else is fucked. Dany is furious. They do a Sorkin-esque walk-and-told where Dany rage-recaps her situation: she’s still on this dumb island, her allies are gone, her armies will starve because Cersei took all the food, etc. (C: They can’t just send a couple of guys out to Burger King?) Tyrion wants to go on with their plan, but Dany turns on him, because literally all of his plans have failed thusfar. She accuses him of not really wanting to hurt the Lannisters, which is a little unfair, considering Tyrion put a crossbow bolt through his father’s gut. Dany says, fuck this, I’m flying my dragons to the Red Keep and roasting that shit. Tyrion thinks that’s dumb. She asks Jon Snow for his thoughts on what she should do. He speechifies about how her followers chose her because she made something new and impossible happen. But if she goes in there with fire and blood, she won’t be creating their new world. She’ll be the same old shit as before. Basically: he also thinks it’s dumb, but Dany likes it better coming from Jon Snow’s lips. (M: Many. Things.) (D: Mmmmmmmm-hmmmmm.)
Winterfell. Brienne is kicking Pod’s ass in training, and it’s fun as per usual, even though Pod has been training for like YEARS and is still terrible. Whatever, Pod – at least you’re legendarily amazing at sex! Arya walks up and Brienne compliments Needle and the new Valyrian steel dagger. Arya does some fancy tricks with it. Sansa stops her boring grain conversation with Littlefinger to watch them from above. Arya asks to train with Brienne, because she defeated the Hound, and Brienne looks so happy it makes my heart sing. Arya notes that Brienne pledged to serve both of Cat’s daughters, and Sansa gets a funny look on her face that worries me. Littlefinger shoots her one of his patented creepy glances. And then we get a truly magnificent scene of Arya and Brienne training.
Diva: This is better than everything. EVERYTHING. Brienne asks who taught her how to fight like that. “No one,” she replies. (M: A Man was also an acceptable answer.) Arya and Brienne look up, and see Littlefinger doing a weird little bow. He is the worst.
Mari: Yes, but Arya glaring at him was second best to Bran’s out-creeping him. One step closer to our tag-team murder of Petyr Baelish by the Stark Children.
Catherine: He needs to be figuring out which fruit is in season ’cause he’s gonna be a pie in about 3 seconds.
Diva: YES. BAELISH PIES. I’M HERE FOR THIS.
More Dragonstone steps. Apparently, killer calf workouts make people want to talk about sex, as Davos asks Jon what he thinks of Dany and how he’s totally noticed Jon staring at her tits.
Theon and some Ironborn pull a boat onto the beach. He’s surprised to see Jon there, and Jon stares at him for a bit before throttling the man who turned on Robb and took Winterfell. Jon growls that because Theon saved Sansa, Jon is not gonna murder his ass. Theon explains that he’s here to ask Dany to help him get Yara back. Jon’s like, sorry bro, the queen is gone.
Mari: There’s one reunion I never even thought about or considered! A punch would’ve been called for, but I guess it’s okay that he was spared because he did almost immediately ask after Sansa. Also, Theon Greyjoy has been through enough.
Diva: Preach.
Cut to Jamie and Bronn at the Lannister supply train. Men are setting up camp, eating and chilling, not in battle formation. Randyll Tarly helpfully exposits that the last of the gold is now in Kings Landing and thus safe in/near Mycroft and the Iron Bank’s pockets. The grain and food from all over the Reach is what they’re bringing in now, which is obviously pretty helpful to any army that wants to survive the winter. (C: The amount of grain talk in this episode…) (D: So much. We get it. Food’s important.) Randyll asks Jamie if he can literally flog the men to keep them in formation, and Jamie’s like, ok, but tell them first. Randyll Tarly: still the worst. Also, are we ever gonna see him react to Sam stealing his Valyrian steel sword that’s been in their family for centuries? Just wondering.
Catherine: On any other show I would say no. On this show that brings in daggers from 6 years ago….maybe.
Diva: Jamie and Bronn ride over to Dickon Tarly, and Bronn cracks up at his name, which is beautiful. They talk about the battle at Highgarden, and Dickon admits that his house was pledged to House Tyrell for years. He knew the men he was fighting against, and that was hard. Jamie tells him, not unkindly, that those men didn’t deserve to die, but Olenna Tyrell chose to rebel against the Iron Throne. Then they talk about the smell of death for a bit, because this is Game of Thrones. (M: And because #fortyshadowing.)
Bronn hears something, suddenly – it’s quiet at first, but soon we hear it too – hooves. A horde. Jamie and Bronn start ordering the men into formation, gearing up for battle. Randyll Tarly does the same. They look out over the hillside as the Lannister soldiers form a line of spears and shields. They can hear the Dothraki’s screams now, as slowly, something appears over the horizon. Thousands of horses, with Dothraki riders screaming their goddamn heads off. Bronn tells Jamie to run, to ride back to Kings Landing, which is obviously good advice, but he of course ignores it. He insists they can hold off the Dothraki. Until he hears a SCREEEECH.
Out of the clouds flies Drogon, with Dany on his back. She screams “Dracarys,” and roasts a score of Lannister soldiers, who burn alive.
Mari: It was so well done to have the Lannister army all standing in a perfect row, shields held just so, waiting, as the Dothraki ride in loose formation, the screamers instilling fear even before the badass horse-archery. Absolutely a payoff.
Catherine: We literally cannot overstate how terrifying the sound effects of the Dothraki coming over the horizon plus the dragon screeching are. I’ve rewatched this scene like four times and it still gives me goosebumps. It sounds like hell.
Diva: They built up the power of Dothraki for the entire run of the show, and it TOTALLY LIVED UP. I was terrified.
Drogon shoots fire onto what appears to be the entire supply train – kinda wasteful, no? – as Jamie calls the arches to him and has them aim for the dragon. Dozens of them nock, draw, and as Drogon and Dany approach, loose on him, but our good pet Drogon doesn’t even notice and goes full speed ahead, roasting some more food and men for good measure. Jamie tells Bronn to man the scorpion dragon-killing crossbow-thingy. Jamie gets an epic battle montage of killing Dothraki and is almost lost, until Dickon Tarly saves him. Bronn faces down a Dothraki of his own, who slices off the leg of Bronn’s horse and sends Bronn flying and his money scattering. He gazes at the gold, but quickly runs off, through a fucking burning hellscape of fire and smoke and corpses and dying people and people still trying to kill him and also a fucking dragon.
Mari: While the staring longingly at the money was a little too overt for me, there is this phenomenal tracking shot of Bronn, shot mostly from just under him, and it conveys the chaos of dragon fire at this fight so well. It’s terrifying.
Catherine: ALL OF THE EMMYS.
Diva: It reminded me of the epic tracking shot of Jon we saw in the Battle of the Bastards. I LOVE this show’s use of tracking shots to throw us in the middle of the horrors of war.
Bronn runs off, into a wagon, where he spears a Dothraki with a giant bolt, and then pops the doors off his wagon and starts loading the Dragon-Killy-Thingy. It’s undeniably badass, even if I’m explaining it very poorly and also I don’t want Drogon to die.
Catherine: “Hmmm, this giant crossbow thing is dumb, how do we make it badass? Oh, have Bronn be the one shooting it!” Literally the only way.
Diva: Seriously. He made it look SO GOOD.
From afar, Tyrion and a handful of Dothraki watch the scene of devastation from a quieter hillside. “Your people can’t fight,” a Dothraki tells him. The Rains of Castemere plays as we watch Tyrion react to the death of all these Lannisters, of people he knew.
Mari: “Those men didn’t deserve to die…”
Diva: Precisely. That earlier convo between Jamie and Dickon wasn’t really about Dickon’s relationship to the Highgarden soldiers – it was about Tyrion’s relationship to the Lannister soldiers.
Dany and Drogon swoop around, and Jamie orders men to take cover and watches ashes of men blow in the dust. (C: Drogon literally CHARBROILED them.) Bronn shoots off a bolt and misses Dany/Drogon. He reloads as the dragon flies closer. Tyrion watches from afar, as tense as I feel. Bronn shoots another bolt, and it catches Drogon in the neck, and he twists and turns in midair, falling more than flying, as Dany barely holds on.
/1) As always, I’m stumped by Littlefinger’s motives in the Bran scene. But while we see Bran as an annoying stoner tree god, Littlefinger sees the last male heir of House Stark, back home in Winterfell. He’d want to suck up to anybody who he could help mold in a position of power, and thus gain more power himself. Makes sense that he’d want to get in good with Bran. But Littlefinger’s a little dumb if he thinks Bran is gonna eat out of the palm of his hand like little Robin Arryn does.
Mari: Littlefinger got in a lot of manipulation in before all these kids came back jaded as shit. Times have changed, bro. I hope it continues to not work out for him, obvs.
Catherine: I felt like this was an interesting Bran episode. Last episode, I said that he wasn’t Bran anymore and the Raven was using him as like, a meat puppet and he confirmed that (in gentler words) in this episode. But now I take it back? Some of his actions in this ep, the way he said the Valaryian dagger would be wasted on a cripple, make me think there’s more Bran in there than he’s comfortable with. Maybe that’s wishful thinking. But I think Bran is still, maybe, half Bran. Still a healthy breakfast choice. Full of complex carbohydrates.
Diva: I’ve given up on Bran being at all Bran – it makes his stilted reunions with his sisters too impossible to watch, if there’s really that much Bran left in him. And it makes the awful Meera scene a thousand times worse.
b) I trust nothing and no one when it comes to how joyous these incredible reunions have been. It makes me feel like everyone is about to die. Mostly Brienne, but also this kind of fan service always comes at a price. And speaking of beloved characters dying, I felt convinced that this final last scene was building up to an epic Bronn death scene. I loved watching his total badassery, but I think that level of plot armor might be getting a little bit silly. Though no sillier than Jamie getting dragging deep, deep, deep into the depth of what is clearly like two feet of water. Don’t try and tell me he’s anywhere close to dead. Look at that gif again. How could he possibly drown in that puddle? Dany’s standing on the beach two feet from it!
Mari: Everyone on Twitter was so torn about this scene but NOT ME. Bye Bronn! Bye Jaime! I don’t care! Bronn’s schtick has mostly expired for me and Jaime stopped being interesting post-bear fights. Despite all that, though, I’m pretty sure they both survive.
Diva: I only want Jamie to live so that he can kill his sister. Other than that, take him. But Bronn’s schtick is still a lot of fun for me.
cat) There’s an incredible amount of talk about names and titles in this episode. Bran insists he’s not Lord Stark; Brienne insists she’s no Lady. Arya doesn’t know who the guards mean by Lady Stark, but later tells her sister that it suits her. Mycroft tells Queen Cersei that he’s no Lord, only a banker. Davos tells Missandei that Jon’s no Lord, but can’t figure out what Kingly name quite suits him. This episode was such a joy to watch not just because of fan service reunions and epic battle scenes, though all of those things were wonderful. It was a terrific episode because it took the time to consider those questions, of who these characters are after everything they’ve been through, and what their titles represent.
direwolf) WTF WHY WAS THIS EPISODE SO SHORT, COME ON PRODUCERS, YOU’RE KILLING ME.
Mari: My only addition is that I kind of dig Dany’s attack in the Reach. Jon tells her not to use the dragons to destroy cities and she’s like, “okay well, taking them out for spin in a field, then.” She didn’t totally disregard his advice, but she did finally do what she wanted to do: burn shit up.
The dragon-killing-machine’s presence with the Lannister army meant that they at least thought that it was a possibility that the dragons would show. It was smart, but also, everything we saw of the scene made it clear they had NO IDEA what to expect or the true devastation of being outgunned, outmanned, outnumbered, out planned. (D: I see what you did there.)
It was a stupidly short episode but between reunions and that final scene, it was probably one of the most well executed.
Catherine: This episode was not only my favorite of the season but my favorite in the past several seasons. The fanservice was amazing. Arya and Sansa reuniting is something that I’d sorta given up hope of ever seeing. The dragon fight was so well filmed I was afraid to blink while watching it. All of the fights were choreographed perfectly. It was just so rewarding as a viewer to watch all of this. That said, I could watch the next episode and be furious afterward. My emotions are too high right now!
Diva: I loved it, and I’m beyond terrified of what comes next.
Now, your #gameofsnark tweets:
Oh Bronn, u have no idea how badly Olenna pricked Jaime’s balls before she peaced out. I still feel it. #GameOfThrones #gameofsnark
— ScheherazadeMafnas (@c4dabombfrmguam) August 9, 2017
Look I’m no fan of Bran but I’m ready for him to out-creepy Littlefinger. Don’t let me down. #gameofsnark #GameOfThones
— Marines (@mynameismarines) August 7, 2017
Yeah, I don’t think Catelyn would be on board with your idea of “protecting” Sansa, Lord Pedo. #gameofsnark
— Laura Lillies (@lillypad1985) August 7, 2017
Stop creeping out Sansa and just creep out Littlefinger. #gameofsnark
— NonCompliantSamantha (@SamanthaSpice91) August 7, 2017
Meera, Crossfit Champion of Westeros, is not having a Thank You. #gameofsnark #GameOfThones
— Marines (@mynameismarines) August 7, 2017
BRAN YOU LITTLE UNGRATEFUL SHIT. “THANK YOU?!” REALLY?! THAT’S IT? HODOR DESERVES BETTER. MEERA DESERVES BETTER. #gameofsnark #gameofthrones
— Daria Marshall (@idoubledogdaria) August 7, 2017
I’m crying just already. #gameofsnark
— NonCompliantSamantha (@SamanthaSpice91) August 7, 2017
I’M SOBBING #gameofthrones #gameofsnark
— Democracy Diva (@democracydiva) August 7, 2017
I can’t be snarky, I have too many feels! 😭 #GameOfThrones #GameofSnark
— Harmonie (@RainbowHarmonie) August 7, 2017
These girls have grown so much since they’ve seen each other. I can’t even with my feelings. I have to go cry with EmoBran #gameofsnark
— ScheherazadeMafnas (@c4dabombfrmguam) August 9, 2017
These boys are about to be murked talking to my girl like this. #ThronesYall #MBGMD #GameOfThrones #GameofSnark #NoConfederate
— Tae-Tae (@TayciBear) August 7, 2017
I CAN’T TWEET BECAUSE CRYING ABOUT ARYA AND SANSA! #gameofsnark
— MyLadyDisdain (@CatherineJane91) August 7, 2017
This whole season of #GameOfThrones is basically Westeros: Reunion and I do love a good reality show reunion episode. #gameofsnark
— Nicole Sweeney (@SweeneySays) August 7, 2017
ok this whole show should be:
1. arya & sansa talkin’ murder
2. dany & missandei talkin’ sex
3. jon snow’s butt#gameofthrones #gameofsnark— Democracy Diva (@democracydiva) August 7, 2017
Arya and Sansa Talk Murder: A spinoff idea. #gameofsnark #GameOfThones
— Marines (@mynameismarines) August 7, 2017
Jon: theres something else I wanna show you, your grace. #gameofsnark pic.twitter.com/EDI28svGBc
— MyLadyDisdain (@CatherineJane91) August 7, 2017
I’ve always said I ship just Davos and no one else. He’s enough. But maybe I ship Davos and Jon. #GamesOfThrones #gameofsnark
— Jessica Babb (@Jessicababb) August 7, 2017
Thank God someone finally laughed at Dickon’s name. #gameofsnark
— MyLadyDisdain (@CatherineJane91) August 7, 2017
I just screamed. This is the most feeling I’ve felt toward the dragons since they were babies. #gameofsnark
— NonCompliantSamantha (@SamanthaSpice91) August 7, 2017
Like don’t kill the dragon, but also don’t kill Bronn. #ThronesYall #MBGMD #GameOfThrones #GameofSnark #NoConfederate
— Tae-Tae (@TayciBear) August 7, 2017
Dragon 1, infantry -99999999. #GameOfSnark
— SnazzyO (@SnazzyO) August 7, 2017
Everyones like “nooo don’t kill Bron/Jamie!” Whereas I’m sitting here like “FINISH THEM”. #GameOfThrones #gameofsnark
— Sami (@samanyana) August 7, 2017
I have no words. Ed Sheeran’s gonna have to write a new song about this battle. #gameofsnark
— MyLadyDisdain (@CatherineJane91) August 7, 2017
NO. FUCKING. WAY. THEY LEFT IT THERE?!? ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!? #gameofsnark
— MyLadyDisdain (@CatherineJane91) August 7, 2017
Wait that was an entire episode???? Wait what????? Credits????? #gameofsnark
— NonCompliantSamantha (@SamanthaSpice91) August 7, 2017
WHAT IN THE ACTUAL HELL JUST HAPPENED?! #gameofsnark #gameofthrones
— Daria Marshall (@idoubledogdaria) August 7, 2017
my jaw hurts from being on the floor for 20 minutes guys WHAT JUST HAPPENED #gameofthrones #gameofsnark
— Democracy Diva (@democracydiva) August 7, 2017
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Next time on Game of Thrones: Dany’s getting out of control and the Night’s Watch is on the move in S07 E05 – Eastwatch.
I'm a J.D. by day/blogger by night who directs her snark and judgment primarily towards celebrities and their many red carpet mishaps. Blogging from the style capital of the world (just kidding - I live in DC), I rant and rave over the best and worst in fashion and pop culture.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
I am a 30-something year-old human woman who lives in Maine. I'm a freelance writer who mostly spends time that I should be doing that, watching T.V. I also love reading and comic books way too much.
