Previously: Soil and awkward silences.
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Marines: Now that Hardin has pushed his way into the bathroom, even though Tessa didn’t want him there, he starts undressing. She protests, saying they can’t just shower together! They are at his father’s house and Landon and Dakota could be back at any moment! We are in one of those weird situations again where I don’t want to criticize Tessa for her boundaries, but also I’m remembering that she was going to have sex with Hardin at his father’s house where Landon and Dakota could be back at any moment and that was okay? I’m just a little confused about what makes a SHOWER!!! different.
Samantha: And, like, Landon and Dakota aren’t going to walk into the bathroom while anyone is showering. The only trick is sneaking back out.
Mari: The real point is that, regardless, Hardin should l i s t e n.
He doesn’t.
Instead he says that he’s going to take a nice hot shower while she stands there and overanalyzes. He finishes undressing and steps into the shower. Tessa stares at him a bunch until he pulls the shower curtain closed. He asks if she doesn’t just love a hot shower after a long day. Tessa replies that she wouldn’t know, since a rude naked guy stole her shower.
Samantha:
Mari: Hardin tells her to come in before all the hot water goes away. Tessa says that there is something too intimate about a shower, which I get more than any protestations about this being his dad’s house or Landon or Dakota. Hardin tells her it’s just a shower and to live a little. Tessa gives in, of course, and undresses.
Tessa hesitantly gets in the shower and tries to cover up her nakedness with her arms. Hardin says he loves how shy she still is around him. He unfolds her arms and pulls her under the water. “I think it’s so appealing to me because you are so shy and innocent, yet you let me do dirty things to you.”
Hardin says he also knows for a fact that she likes it when he says dirty things to her, because he’s watching her pulse. Or something like that. Tessa gets all hot and bothered as Hardin runs his hands over her body. He says he loves her and makes sure she believes that. Tessa says she does believe him and wonders why he’s asking this right now. Hardin adds that he’s never loved anyone before, so we’ve reestablished in the one scene that Hardin is a heart virgin and Tessa is a vagina virgin. She’s shy about her the nakedness of her body and he’s shy about the nakedness of his soul.
Samantha: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh. *gags*
Mari: Tessa thinks she knew this, about Hardin never ever loving anyone ever, but she just is so taken aback by him being intimate in a non-sexual way right now. (Even though they are naked in the shower, petting each other…) Hardin says that nope, he’s definitely never loved anyone before. Not even close. Tessa wonders if he’s ever had a girlfriend, but decides she doesn’t really want to know. Hardin asks if she loves him the way she loved Noah. Tessa kind of chokes on her own surprise at that question. She grabs the shampoo to distract herself, I guess, but Hardin presses. Tessa thinks about it and realizes that it’s totally different loving Hardin. “Noah was comfortable and safe.” Wow, how awful. UNCOMFORTABLE UNSAFE LOVE FOR TESSA, ONLY.
Samantha: I only want love that feels like I’m standing on hot coals and about to fall off a cliff!
Mari: Because Tessa hasn’t said anything, Hardin gets all broody because he takes this to mean she doesn’t love him as much as she loved Noah. Tessa tells him that she loved Noah like family, not like real love. It wasn’t until she realized that she loved Hardin that she realized what loves really was. Tessa feels slightly guilty for saying she didn’t love Noah, but only momentarily because lol Noah who.
Hardin turns back to her and his eyes are back to being soft. “I just want to be the only person you ever love; that way you are mine.” Tessa takes this to be romantic and not creepy and possessive. (S: OMFG.) She’s valuing the fact that Hardin has never loved, as if being capable of love, having learned from past loves, or being open to love are BAD THINGS.
Their declarations of possession over, they get to the showering portion of this shower. Hardin washes Tessa, but jokes that she can’t wash him, because he wouldn’t be able to stop what would happen after. Tessa is intrigued, but worries that it’s dinner time and they might be late. She gets wild, though, and gives Hardin a hand job that literally lasts two pumps and a thumb rub against the head. “Amazing,” Hardin calls it and in a way, it truly is.
After the shower, Tessa puts on a t-shirt and yoga pants. Hardin remarks on the hotness of yoga pants.
We cut to dinner. Tessa is embarrassed that both she and Hardin have wet hair, but literally no one else cares. Tessa talks about working on the greenhouse with Karen some more, which brings up the wedding. Hardin asks if there is a theme for the wedding or how he should dress. Karen and Ken get so excited that he’s coming. Tessa rewards Hardin with a hand hold and an I love you. And then things take a turn for the bad when Ken starts making small talk about Hardin’s classes and majors. He remembers when Hardin would recite passages from The Great Gatsby as a kid. Hardin gets all worked up and yells back that it’s surprising that Ken actually remembers since he was drunk all the time and in fact tore that book to pieces when Hardin accidentally bumped into his scotch and spilled it. So, Hardin doesn’t want to take a stroll down memory lane. Hardin stands, and for some reason, Karen and Tessa both gasp. As if standing was the gasp-worthy portion of this dinner.
Tessa follows after Hardin and can hear Karen yelling at Ken for coming on too strong when they agreed to take baby steps.
Samantha: I hate Hardin deeply but his legit childhood trauma makes Tessa guilting him into family times extra squicky.
Mari: 100%. And it makes the author’s “he’s hurt because he’s hurt” thing even more infuriating.
On a final note, fights during meals is After’s conversations in the car.
Next time on After: Couple tantrum in Chapter 72.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
I'm a 28 year old graduated English major and almost librarian. I can often be found singing too loudly (poorly) in the car or spending some time (hours) on Tumblr. I am a lover of Harry Potter, the Spice Girls, and too many other things.
