Previously: We met a REAL bad boy named Jace and they had a fight about it.
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Samantha: Ah hello, dear readers. And welcome back to this hot trash fire called After. I started the chapter and had to re-read our Chpater 81 recap because I couldn’t remember who the hell Jace was. He’s a SUPER bad boy that sees Tessa as a prized cow or something, as opposed to Hardin who treats her as a blow up doll.
Our star-crossed-in-hell lovers get back to the room, and Tessa tells us she’s still mad at Hardin but not AS mad, you know? She realizes she has more questions that she wants to ask him, but as we all know, questions and yogurt shop chairs are his weakness. (M: Wow, relateable.) He tells her that he’s sorry and didn’t mean to hurt her feelings. Tessa has to actively not look at him or she’ll crumble under his hypnosis eyes or something. This has happened before.
He needs to know I won’t put up with him doing this.
He asks if she still wants him, feigning vulnerability, and Tessa crumbles and pats the bed next to her. Of course she does blah blah blah. She asks if Hardin thinks of her as his girlfriend, and he says yes but also scoffs because what they are is MORE than that “adolescent title.” Now I *know* this also sorta happens in Twilight. Of course these two have to have a title other than what us plebs call our SOs. And I actually understand when you’ve been together awhile and want a title that conveys your commitment better. These idiots have been together like 4 days and most of that was spent fighting. So. Spare me, Romeo.
Marines: I mean, you’ve also played Truth of Dare during like 2 of those 4 days, so yeah. She’s your girlfriend is all I’m saying.
Samantha: She tells him that he can’t be embarrassed to be with her, especially if they’re going to live together, and omg I forgot that plot point. He says that he isn’t and that it’s HER that should be embarrassed of HIM. True but also
He says that he’s seen how people look at them.
They only stare at us because we look different, and that’s their problem.
Oh really? Are people really staring at you because you LOOK DIFFERENT, skinny, white privileged children?
Mari: One of them is wearing a long, khaki skirt and the other is wearing a white t-shirt WHAT IN THE NAME OF TOO DIFFERENT TO EXIST.
Samantha: Hardin says that she’s the only constant in his life (we haven’t even hit Thanksgiving yet so it’s been maybe 2 months, yeah?) and he doesn’t know what he’ll do if she leaves. She tells him that she won’t unless he gives her reason to, but, BUT, her internal monologue is all “except I would never ever leave, there’s nothing he could do, I’m in too deep” and I’m saying Hail Mary’s. Because this is gross and because he is going to do SOMETHING and I am AFRAID (no spoilers, please).
Mari: There are a lot of reasons we continue to be the most inconsistent with these recaps, but I think we are a little bit avoiding the SOMETHING he is 100% going to do.
Samantha: They say that they like who they are with each other and that they bring out the good in each other (?????) and even Tessa’s examples sound weak. Basically, “I occasionally make him happy and he stresses me out so much I don’t worry about other things.” (M: Woooow.)
They joke about how they forgot to get clothes for the wedding, and Hardin offers to take her to Seattle for the weekend instead. Tessa says that they have to go to the wedding but they could do Seattle next weekend. They tease and banter about going to Seattle instead of the wedding and Tessa declares Seattle her favorite place in the world because she has never left Washington.
He asks her where she wants to go, and she says Chawton to see Austen’s house or Paris. Hardin tells her he’ll take her anywhere, even London to meet his mom. Tessa thinks her mother would lock her up if she leaves the country with Hardin. I’m only adding these details in case Tessa ends up kidnapped in a foreign country later, the groundwork was laid here.
Mari: Listen, I’m not going to complain if this suddenly turns into Taken.
Samantha: Me either.
Hardin says they should sleep at his place tonight, for the bigger bed and to get ready in an actual bathroom in the morning. This is the bathroom of a frat house though, so I’d probably take my chances in the dorm. Tessa mentions internally that she hates that place, but the shower and bed are nice. We then spend too much time packing (har har she almost packed a red bra and a white shirt, oh the shenanigans).
As they walk to the car, he starts touting them living together again and lists off a private shower as a benefit. But then he ruins it by winking and saying that it wouldn’t be totally private, and I remember the time he tried to bully Tessa into showering with him against her will. Tessa thinks it sounds better and better but is afraid of rushing into anything. Girl. YES THIS IS RUSHING. Definition of rushing, right here. Further proved by Hardin’s phone ringing for the second time, him not answering it, and her getting suspicious but pushing it away. You don’t even trust his phone! Don’t move in with him!
They start negotiating who is going to pay for what and who will make dinner when and this is honestly a pretty long chapter for this book.
Mari: I like that we have no tolerance for long chapters anymore. More than three pages and I’m like WHEN WILL IT END? Thanks, Anna Todd.
Samantha: Oh so ruined.
They both think this is too good to be true and that the other one will leave and that’s what makes them decide to move in together? Their shared insecurity about their baby relationship???
He calls her Theresa because he’s decided he’s on her friends and family list now and says there’s a whole lot of “perverted” words he wants to call her. Tessa has to squeeze her legs together to keep from… juicing, I guess? IDFK, maybe she’s actually an orange. (M: That would explain… still absolutely nothing.) They pull up to the frat house and of course they’re having a party, even though it’s Tuesday. I think this house is trapped in a Party Time Warp and someone needs to break the curse.
They decide to head right up to Hardin’s room but of course Jace is there, at the top of the stairs. Dun dun-oh the chapter’s over, bye!
Next time on After: What will they do about Jace? in Chapter 83.
I'm a 28 year old graduated English major and almost librarian. I can often be found singing too loudly (poorly) in the car or spending some time (hours) on Tumblr. I am a lover of Harry Potter, the Spice Girls, and too many other things.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
